Gutter Giggles. By Archangel Vulpine.

Story by ArchangelVulpine on SoFurry

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Amari is a business woman, sensible and professional. There's just one problem... she has a very dirty mind.

1735 words.


Gutter Giggles

By Archangel Vulpine

Chapter One

Amari arrived at the office with six minutes to spare and took a seat in the meeting room. As her colleagues trickled in and the room filled to capacity, her heart sped up and her stomach twisted. Taking a deep breath, she calmed herself. Aside from the morning meeting, it would be an ordinary day, all she had to do was make it through this. A hyena in her early thirties, Amari had wiry black hair which she shaved a few millimetres long. Her brown fur was complete with black spots, while her most prominent features included a jet black nose and muzzle, wide, pointed ears, and deep purple eyes. Today she wore her navy blue suit and trousers. At three minutes past, the manager arrived and took his place at the front of the room, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a mug of coffee. He was a warthog named Tim and was wearing a salmon shirt and grey trousers.

'Good morning everyone and thank you all for arriving so promptly. Just a quick catch up to go over last month.' He pointed a tiny remote control at the projector in the centre of the room and it cast light onto the wall beside him, displaying an annotated map. 'Starting with the biggest event, as you can see from our acquisitions in the three districts we have successfully inserted ourselves into new territory.'

At these words, a smile played across Amari's face, though it only lasted a moment. The hyena focused on being calm, telling herself if she could make it through this meeting the rest of the day would be easy.

'Additionally,' Tim continued, the projection changing to show a different map, 'looking at the completed building sites, our new erections are performing better than we'd hoped.'

This time Amari grinned and the expression stayed. All she could do was keep her back straight and her eyes on the projection.

'Finally, if we look at the updated sales graph and overlay it with public opinion, we can see the positive relationship between the two. By analysing this data and taking action at the right time, we can create these little spurts. And thanks to our efforts at the previous weekend's event, we can see how the two climax together here.'

Biting down on her lower lip, Amari's chest spasmed as she fought to remain silent, holding in the giggles threatening to escape. The people sitting beside Amari noticed her change, then finally Tim spotted it too.

In reaction to Amari's state, Tim picked up speed. 'And that's about it for this morning. Really good work everyone, keep it up.'

Still focused on her breathing, Amari felt the moment passing.

Just as Tim opened the door, he caught himself and addressed the room once more, 'Oh, and one more thing, the downstairs renovations have finished so you can come in the back door.'

Amari's lip escaped the hold of her teeth and she broke. It started as a giggle, a moment later it was a laugh, within seconds she was howling. In no time at all she'd gone from silent to loud enough to be heard by the floor below. She wrapped her arms around herself to grip her sides and leaned forward in her chair, but she couldn't hold herself still. Her ears were flat against the back of her head, her tail was rigid, and her cheeks were burning as she felt the eyes of all her colleagues on her.

'Unless anyone has any questions...' Tim said, his voice raised to be heard over the hyena's laughter.

No one said anything. With the meeting over, everyone stood and filed out of the room.

Tim was the last to leave, holding the door open a moment longer to address Amari. 'Just come and join us when you're ready, yeah?'

Amari managed to nod and Tim closed the door, helping to contain the laughter in the meeting room as Amari gave into a new fit.

Chapter Two

Having made it through the rest of the morning without any further outbursts, Amari was calm and determined to maintain her composure through the remainder of the day. For her lunch break, she left the office and walked down the road to the sandwich parlour. The small restaurant had only a few tables inside, plus a tall serving counter which had a glass front so customers could watch their sandwich being prepared. Taking her spot in the queue behind an otter, Amari waited her turn.

Having served one customer, the hare behind the counter smiled at the otter and asked, 'How can I help?'

'Can I get the meatballs please?' the otter replied, stepping up to the counter.

'Six inch or footlong?'

'Six inch please. Footlong is too big for me.'

Amari's eyes widened. She looked around the room, trying to distract herself by reading the menus and promotional signs. The otter had barely said anything, there was no reason for her to get so much as a giggle out of it, she told herself.

'Six inch, meatballs,' the hare repeated, collecting the ingredients.

'Could you add a little extra sauce please? It's the best part,' the otter asked.

A snort escaped Amari. Fortunately, it wasn't loud enough for the two women in front of her to notice, but now she had to focus on her breathing to restore a rhythm and keep herself from thinking about anything else.

'Sure thing! Plus, we just updated our recipe the other day, the balls should be extra juicy now!' the server said, beaming at the customer.

'Oh really?' the otter asked, her tail wagging behind her, making her resemble some form of elongated dog. 'You know what, I'll take a footlong!'

Amari's resolve cracked and splintered. Pressing a fist to her lips was all she could do to keep herself from bursting into laughter. The sandwich was made, the otter was paying and soon it would be Amari's turn, she could focus on her own order. Receiving the food, the otter turned to leave but the employee called after her.

'Oh! Careful, those balls are hot!'

Those words were too much. The otter walked away from the counter, heading for the exit, yet Amari didn't move.

The hare now looked in the direction of the queue, smiled, and said, 'Hello, can I help?'

Taking the three steps forward to the counter was dangerous. The laughter was only just contained inside her, and the movement risked spilling it out into the world. 'May... may I use your bathroom, please?' Amari managed, a paw over her nose and mouth.

The hare's expression fell upon noticing this and she replied, 'Of course, just down there,' gesturing to a corridor in the left wall as she spoke.

'Thank you.' Amari was already moving before she'd finished the words, hurrying down the corridor.

A sign depicting the silhouette of a canine in a skirt pointed her to the correct door. Darting into the ladies' room, Amari made for one of the two cubicles and shut herself inside. The thin walls and door of the cubicle didn't reach all the way to the floor or ceiling, but the extra layer helped Amari hope no one would hear. Unable to hold on any longer, she let out the laughter she'd bottled up. The sound filled the ladies' room, bouncing off the tiled floor and walls, encapsulating the hyena in noise. A moment later though, the acoustics changed. Underneath it all, there was a minute creak. The door had opened.

'Is everything al--'

The voice of the employee was cut short as Amari's laughter was released, free to flood down the corridor and fill the restaurant. Her efforts to hide had been in vain, too far gone to stop now. With the door held open by the stunned hare, the noise washed over every other patron and employee.

Chapter Three

Unlocking the apartment door and stepping inside, Amari let herself relax. She made her way to the kitchen and found Rudy standing behind the counter, wearing an apron over his T-shirt and tracksuit trousers. He didn't seem to notice Amari as she entered the room; his head was tilted down and his eyes were on a tray of fresh cookies. The springer spaniel's long, fluffy ears hung down on either side of his head. His paws held a piping bag full of icing, squeezing it onto the baked treats, while his tongue stuck out the side of his mouth, pressed against his upper lip. Amari cleared her throat.

Immediately, Rudy straightened and raised his head, his paws turning the piping bag to point straight up. 'Oh, Amari.'

One of his paws squeezed the piping bag and a dollop of icing squirted upwards to land on his cheek. The large, sticky, translucent white spurt stuck to his fur, running down his face. Rudy didn't react, didn't even blink, just stared at the hyena.

Amari clenched her jaw as her lips turned upwards, but she didn't stand a chance. Within seconds she was laughing louder than she had all day, her eyes watering, every one of her teeth visible.

'Yes!' Rudy pumped a fist in the air at his success.

Walking around the kitchen counter, the dog picked up a pen. Stuck to the fridge with a magnet was a sheet of paper, at the top on the left side was Rudy's name and on the right was Amari's. Beneath Amari's name were two vertical lines, while under Rudy's there was a host of tallies reaching down the page. Removing the cap from the pen, Rudy gave himself an extra point. There was nothing Amari could do, her entire focus was on keeping her footing so she didn't collapse to the floor as her roaring laughter filled the whole flat. Rudy came to stand in front of the hysterical hyena, smiling at her.

'You have the most wonderful laugh,' he said as he placed his paws on her hips.

Amari raised her paws to his shoulders, though she kept laughing, the noise escaping even as she bit down on her lip. Despite this, Rudy leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. At first the hyena continued to giggle, the noise muffled, but soon she calmed. The giggles died away and she returned the kiss, linking her paws behind Rudy's neck.