FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Sunday was tense between us. The wedding was the next day, and King was in and out of the house, preparing it. He'd said very little to me, we prepared our own meals for breakfast. I mainly spent the morning wandering about, as I was told explicitly that I would not be helping with the wedding preparations. King swore he had it all under control. I eventually met him in the yard during one of his treks back home, informing him "i'm going for a walk". He didn't reply.

I was heading to my truck, to see if I'd had any writing utensils in the glove compartment, wandering slowly. So much was about to be happening, and it left me with a weight in my feet that seemed as if I wanted this day to last forever, as if all I had planned was a single walk to the truck. The next day, Monday, was supposed to be special, the most incredible day of my life, and yet I found myself carrying my keys in my hand towards my old blue truck with half a mind to start it and peel out of the woods, never look back. Why, then, I wondered, did I eventually reach the passenger side of that dusty old Ranger, only to find myself sitting there, digging through papers, receipts, old photos, all with the intent of returning to the cabin?

My glove compartment had always been a mess. There were inspection receipts from years ago, books I'd started and never finished, photographs. I had a few photos of Buck and myself together, photos I'd taped to the dashboard that I'd ripped off on the first drive to the woods. There was a light in my eyes in those photos, a vibrancy to my smile and expression that felt full of blood, full of life. I tilted down the rear-view mirror and looked at myself, searching for that same vibrancy, but as I bore witness to my face for the first time in months, I found it lifeless. My fur was pale and dry, my eyes were tired, sorrowful. My face had a slack to it like the muscles lacked the strength to remain taut. My hair was filthy, tangled, full of twigs and dirt. My teeth were yellowed, I hadn't brushed them in over half a year. I couldn't imagine how my breath must've smelled, probably just as bad as King's. I had patchy spots on my neck where the fur was thin, where King's bites had taken a toll on my skin, even with the healing properties of his spit. I looked ill. I pushed the rear view back into place, no longer wishing to see myself in such an honest state.

Amidst the old memories, though, were indeed a few pens. I wished I'd had more photos, photos of grandpa, of some of my friends, anything really. I wish I had more things to show King, but I at least had the pens. Before I left the truck, though, I rolled down the windows and stuck my feet out the passenger side, lying across the bench seat. Staring at the ceiling of the truck brought back so many memories. I'd been in this position many times before, with a cigarette or drink in my hand, with a man in the passenger seat, sometimes a man standing outside the truck, my legs around his shoulders. I felt like a memory was made every time I looked at the ratty old cloth of the truck ceiling, and this time was no different. The day before my wedding, and I was alone. No one to call and tell, no one to invite, my future husband nowhere to be found. For all I knew, he was at the Forest's Heart, browsing a catalog of fertile women for his perfect selection, a decadent ending to the best day of his life.

I eventually would fall asleep there, no cigarette to burn out and eventually ash on my hand to wake me, no drink to spill. I simply fell asleep, as I had nothing else worthwhile to do. King would find me, a few hours later, on my back with a pile of old photos in the floorboard. He stood at the passenger side, where my paws were hanging out the window.

"Getting cold feet, as they say?" He asked, startling me awake, my eyes shot open as I jolted up and away, my back against the driver's side door and my knees drawn inward.

"What're you talkin' about?" I'd ask.

"Reminiscing about what could've been? The photos?" King asked.

"I was just looking through them. Came to the truck for a pen, and--"

"For a pen?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

I squinted at King and his twenty questions, shrugging my shoulders as I told him "just wanted a pen, King. Thought I might try to do some drawing or something when I had the time. You're in and out so often lately, I gotta occupy my time somehow."

"Fine. I have began preparations on your attire for the wedding. It is part of my culture's traditions to dress for a wedding, even though we do not normally wear anything."

"O-oh. That sounds lovely." I said, my knees slowly relaxing. I picked the things up off the floorboard and set them on the dashboard, opening the door and scooting to the edge of the seat, sitting sideways with my legs out the truck. King put his hands on my knees.

"I've thought much about it. You are worth more than getting to procreate with a female. If it bothers you so much...I will abstain."

I was flabbergasted. This was such a striking contrast from the night before, I found it hard to believe. He'd not only wanted it himself, but even had Athair press for him to do so. Why, now, would he change? I asked him exactly that.

"Well, I believe I will not need a female. I feel certain something about my fungus has the power to create life. I have spent all morning, amidst the preparations, thinking about it. If this fungus can revive dead organs, and can cause a body to generate muscle and skin where there is none, then I see no reason why it could not be used to create life."

I didn't want to argue that. I saw no way it was possible, but I didn't want to shatter his dreams. Plus, he had made strides neither of us had imagined were possible. Why not consider it, I thought? The problem was the bone, though. His fungus couldn't make bone, and without bone it was powerless. That, and even with bone, it couldn't revive. I doubted that it could create life from nothing.

"We will have to do a lot of experiments, moving forward, but I feel certain that something can come of this. If you will cooperate, I will abstain from breeding with anyone else. We will make a child ourselves, I do not need Athair and I do not need any other Lesidhe. I have enough ability within myself, especially with your guidance."

I couldn't help but smile, ironic with how tense this day had started. He seemed to be slowly coming around to the idea of marriage, of relationships and sacrifice. His hands were rubbing my knees, and I placed my hands on his and squeezed them.

"Thank you, I love you."

"I love you too, Nico."

---

Sunday evening rolled around, and King was finally home after a long day of entering and exiting our yard. I assumed he was preparing the wedding either somewhere deeper in the forest, or perhaps in the Heart. I had laid around, making the key for my tome translations while he wasn't at home. It was going to be my surprise to him, finally translating the pages about him, and I didn't want him to have any idea I was doing it. That said, I only had about ten characters translated, but it was a start. After we had dinner, King began to grow rather affectionate with me. We were sitting at our fire, just talking, but his hands kept grabbing for me, rubbing on me. He wasn't normally a very handsy guy, but he was rubbing on me, petting my back and arms, and eventaully would pick me up and set me in his lap, his legs crossed and his arms scooping around me and squeezing me. I leaned back against his chest and closed my eyes, happy. Last night had been rough, but things seemed like they were maybe going to work out alright. I was glad I hadn't acted impulsively.

"Tomorrow, you will be my husband. Isn't that exciting?"

"It is! I...never thought this day would come, admittedly. I never thought anyone would ever want to marry me."

"I feel the same. I felt I was going to be alone forever, childless."

"Guess it's lucky I'm a pervert after all, eh? Otherwise I might not have gone for your skull."

"Yes, I suppose it's good you're such a depraved creature, despite my apprehensions."

His crossed arms left his hands resting on my opposite arm, his left hand rubbing my right bicep, his right on my left. He had a grip on me that was pulling me close to him, and I almost felt like some sort of little toy in his arms, safe, loved. We sat, watching the fire in the quiet, the crackling amidst the nighttime noises of the woods, his breathing audible to me. He had a low, heavy rasp when he breathed, it was something I noticed when he was asleep as well.

"We should get to bed early tonight, so we're well rested" I said, my head looking up to find him looking down at me.

"Perhaps we should. Tomorrow is a big day. I have things I would like you to teach me tonight, before bed, though."

"Like what?" I asked. King would look off, past the fire, at nothing in particular in the distance. His grip on my arm would tighten just a bit, as if he was nervously wringing me as he remarked "i...do not know how to breed. I have never done it before you."

What a charming thing to say, I thought. I couldn't help but smile as I asked "so you wanna practice tonight?"

"No, not exactly. But I need to...understand how your anatomy works. You have always taken the reigns when we have had sex, but tomorrow I am to do so. I need to understand it, first."

Our conversation trailed on a bit, and slowly it would result in us adding a bit more kindling to the fire and deciding to practice outside, by the firelight, rather than cluelessly fondling around in the dark like we usually did. I was bent over a log, my tail lifted, my backside on display for him as he sat on his knees behind me, and I explained the necessities of things like lubricant, and starting slowly.

"Your shape makes good for easy penetration, but it's still not something you can just ram yourself into, that's gonna hurt me."

"Females self-lubricate, do they not?" he asked.

"...Yea. Yeah they do, but we don't, not really. You gotta put a little bit of work into it with guys." I said, he nodded. He would lean down, close to my backside, sniffing at it some before remarking "...i don't know if I want to lick it, like you do."

"That's okay," I said, though I was admittedly a little disappointed. I proceeded to suggest he get himself wet while he watched me prepare myself, using my own spit-slicked fingers as I prodded around back there. He was indeed watching intently, tilting his head. I took notice of his animalistic curiosity as I looked over my shoulders, and I couldn't help but grin at him. He looked so simple, and as I prepared myself he'd ask "can I put my finger inside?"

"Yeah, just...watch the claws." I said. King, thankfully, had canine-like claws that were dull on the edge, used more for shredding through blunt force than slicing. I imagined it wouldn't actually be all that bad. He would salivate on his hand, specificially his index finger. I hadn't even considered how his saliva would produce a numbing effect, but as he pressed his finger to my backside I felt it take effect rather quickly. The pressure of penetration was there, just the same, and I could tell the bump of his index pawpad indeed went in a bit fast, though I couldn't feel the pain one would expect to feel from such a thing. He pushed it down to the final knuckle inside me, and I could feel my body responding with arousal even though I couldn't exactly feel the penetration itself.

"It's very warm. I can feel your body reacting, squeezing me."

"Y-yeah" I said as I felt his finger awkwardly prodding around inside like he was looking for something. The nail was definitely doing a bit of scraping, I couldn't feel it but I knew it was happening, and he'd occasionally hit a spot in me that would prompt me to fidget a bit, my tail to bob in response.

"And now I pull it out and we mate?" He'd ask.

"Still...wanna take it slowly, but yeah. If you wanted to mate, I'd say I'm good to start."

He pulled his finger from my backside uncomfortably quick, bringing it to his nose and sniffing at it, giving an instictive, audibly repulsed "oh" as he recoiled from his own digit, adding "I don't like how you smell at all."

"I'm...sorry?" I said with a perplexed tone, uncertain of how else I was supposed to smell for him. "that's how it's gonna be, having sex with other men, King."

"Do females smell like that?" he'd ask. I squinted a bit.

"Well, I mean, their backsides smell the same, but the front doesn't smell like roses either. I'd probably smell better if I'd had a bath at all in the past few months, but that's how it's gonna be living out in the woods."

King sat there, clearly in thought, for a while before he'd nod, rising to his feet and pulling me up as well, lifting me into his arms and over his shoulder as I asked "are we not gonna finish?"

"No. We will save it for consummating tomorrow, after the wedding. I am eager for release, but that will make tomorrow all the more important."

We found ourselves in bed, King on his side while I was on my back, his chest to my side as he squeezed me close. I was trying to fall asleep, but my head was full of feelings, full of uncertainties, and it lead me to breaking the silence by asking "King?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think i'm attractive?"

He'd give an immediate "hmmm", which was not at all how I wanted his answer to start. His grip tightened a bit on me, bear hugging me in a way that left me certain it was going to be an unpleasant answer as he said "I do not find males attractive, but I have grown to enjoy sex with you."

"So, no? The answer's no?"

"I suppose. I don't enjoy the smell of your backside at all, but I don't suppose I need to if i'm only penetrating you, and I enjoy all the other things we do together."

"I guess." I spoke quietly.

"I am very eager to consummate tomorrow, regardless, and I will happily mate you until we make a child."

"What about after that?" I asked, now sinking into a bit of a paranoid insecurity.

"We will raise our child, and we will mate for more."

"So, you'll stay with me, and we'll keep being intimate, even if you don't find me attractive?"

"Yes, of course. It is what our marriage dictates. Though," he began. What a terrible thing to hear "though" proceeding, I thought.

"Though admittedly I rather wonder what the female sex is like. It must be so intoxicating."

"It's probably not that much different than a male." I remarked defensively.

Our conversation continued in the same direction, my insecurities leading me to ask for strange, reassuring questions that King was only half-reassuring in answering, and King asking what I thought women felt like, what they smelled like, if I'd ever wanted to try it. Thankfully, we both fell asleep shortly into the conversation, and as uncomfortable as the night ended, it brought me just enough security to let me get some rest.

The next day came, though, like a blink of the eye. It was daylight, Monday morning, my Wedding Day. King woke me, in bed, telling me "good morning, Nico. Today is the day."

I sleepily smiled at him and rubbed my eyes, and he'd give me a hug before rising out of bed himself, informing me to get up and get myself ready. He supposedly had plans, so I stretched out the morning stiffness and followed him to the yard, where he hoisted me up onto his back and brought me down to his old cave, near the Heart. We would have breakfast there, the usual fish along with something new, a strange vegetal juice he said he'd made himself in celebration of the day. I'd never seen anything like it before, mashed plants steeping in water, resulting in a strange, bitter concoction I forced down with a smile so he wouldn't know I hated it. After breakfast, he brought me to the Heart itself, into the warmth of that strange otherworldly place. It always felt like summer in the Forest's Heart, and as he carried me through the lush greenery, we found our way to a pond, where he set me in the grass.

"We are going to bathe together. I brought you here because the water is warm, and I thought last night about something useful. Go ahead into the water, I will join you."

I did so, stepping into the water up to my neck, the pond clear as crystal. I looked down and could see my body, the bottom of the water the only murky part, only from the dirt I'd kicked up by walking. It was beautiful, and incredibly warm, and there were no serpents in these waters. King came back a bit later, carrying fistfuls of a white plant, and as he joined me in the water he'd answer the question I was about to ask by showing them to me, informing me it was called "soapwort". He crushed it up in his hands, dipping his palms in the water for a moment before beginning to slather it around, causing it to foam up slightly as he asked me to turn away from him. I expected where the hand was going, but I jumped just the same as his hand went under my tail, scrubbing his palm against my backside, between my legs. It felt strange, having part of me actually scrubbed clean and not just soaked in water. I wasn't sure if I liked the sensation, but I knew it was important to him.

He lathered the remaining amount and rubbed my shoulders, my neck and back, eventually losing the suds but still groping around my chest and stomach, the entirety of my body with his strong hands, remarking "I want you to be fresh as you can be for today. I too will attempt to clean myself. It is part of our culture." Indeed he did, scrubbing me and attempting to detangle much of my hair in the water before doing the same to himself, though without the aid of soap. As I stood there in the water with him, watching him wash himself, I found my stomach was in knots. I felt queasy, presumably from the nervousness of this being my wedding day. I'd heard the stories a thousand times before, the anxiety and stress on the day of the marriage, I was sure I was no different. Still, as he bathed, I felt it setting in worse and worse, and my face felt a bit pale, leading me to inform King that I wasn't feeling well and was going to step out of the water.

I barely made it past the treeline before I vomited up breakfast, thankfully behind the privacy of trees and bushes so my soon-to-be husband wasn't bearing witness. My stomach felt like the waves of the ocean, like the acid in my body was sloshing around wildly, a turbulent storm in my abdomen that lead me to vomiting twice more, my face flushed, my arms trembling as I leaned against the tree. After the third time, I began to wonder if it was food poisoning of some sort, some sort of bacteria in the fish, or some sort of allergen to the juice. King had, by now, found me, and had a hand on my back as I stood there trembling, not wanting to really move my body for fear that my mouth would cease to be the only part of me emptying my stomach.

"Wh-what was in that juice?" I asked.

"Just a simple herbal concoction my kind prepares for holidays. Why?"

"I'm sick..." I said, stating the obvious.

"That's probably because you're not familiar with it" he said, rubbing my back, a hand holding my hair back as I dry heaved, nothing left to purge anymore. We stood there for about ten, fifteen minutes before the cramps and groaning of my stomach subsided. I felt dazed by the vomiting, my vision blurry, patchy with spots of color like I was getting some sort of migraine aura. My head did hurt, and I was sure that was what was happening. I'd gotten aura migraines before, where I'd go partially blind and become dizzy, disoriented. Stress normally brought them on, and I assumed the stress of the wedding day mixed with the juice sickness had caused it. After I was certain my stomach had relaxed, I leaned my weight back onto King and he would wrap his arms around me.

"Come, I will carry you. Rest on my shoulders, you will feel better when you awaken" he said as he picked me up, slinging me over his shoulder, draped across him like a sack of potatoes. I did indeed rest, entering a half-nap as I listened to the sounds of his footsteps, the life and breathing of the forest around me. I dared not open my eyes, the light was too bright.

Eventually, he would stop, speaking quietly to me, "we are here. It is time to prepare the ceremony. How are you feeling?"

"Not bad..." I began to say, when King spoke over me, informing me "everyone is very excited to see you."

"Everyone?" I asked. He lifted me off his shoulders and stood me in front of him as my blurry vision adjusted to the light hitting my sensitive eyes. The greenery of the Forest's Heart was swirling, breathing, like I'd seen before, but it seemed so much more intense this time. The colors, they were saturated in strange ways, the sky more purple than I'd recalled, the forest sometimes autumnally colored, sometimes green. We were in a large clearing, and before me were countless animals, alive, looking at me. None of them seemed to be entirely still, though, nor natural. Their deer's antlers moved around like electricity, the raccoons' stripes rippling like someone had dropped a stone across the surface of their water, the birds' wings seeming to always be growing and reducing in numbers, sometimes appearing as archanagels. Everything was in a constant state of motion, a dreamlike fluidity to it all, and as I looked at each one individually, I felt as if their facial features moved around wildly, like I could never make eye contact before the eye would shift on the face. I was sure it was the migraine.

The beasts all stood in rows, a clearing in the middle of them, the aisle through which we were to walk, for our ceremony. There was an archway at the end, lattice wood wrapped in roses, like tendons through it, blooming blood red, the only color that seemed to remain constant. Past the archway as a small pond, almost too small to even be called a pond, but too big to be a puddle. I could hear the birds chirping, the shuffling of feet as the forest waited excitedly for us.

"It is time, Nico, for your attire. Please close your eyes as I dress you." King would say, and I followed his command. I could feel him tying something to my head, strung under my jaw like a party hat. He tied it tight, so it wouldn't move much, and I could feel the weight of whatever it was on the top of my head. He then proceeded to wrap something around my neck and tie it as well. It felt like a cape, and it hung from my neck down to my calves. He tied several small things around my wrists and ankles that rattled like maracas when I moved, informing me he was dressing himself as well, before finally telling me to open my eyes and walk with him. There were quiet gasps from the dynamic beasts around us as we walked down the aisle, King's hand holding mine in his massive palm. I stared off in the distance, at the way the water in that glorified puddle changed colors. There were moments where the sky's purple would melt down like hot wax, over the treeline and dip down into the water, dyeing it rich and strange hues I'd never seen before, only to dissolve into nothing, the water returning to it's reflective, still state.

We were in front of the arch now, and King would turn to face the audience of fluid fauna, their eyes all about their bodies, their antlers zapping about wildly, uncontrolled as the wild should be. I could see every species of the wild, though I could not discern any stillness to them, and King would raise his hand that held mine to the air, causing my arm to raise as well, our wrists rattling with woody noise.

"Brothers and sisters," he began, "thank you for coming to join us on this blessed day. It is a joyous occasion, not only for myself and my partner, but for the wild, for Athair, for all of us. The wedding brings with it the promise of a future, of the expansion of the wild, of our brilliance pouring out from treelines into civilization once more, freeing itself from the confines man has imposed on all of us. Nico is here, in faith, to join us in this brilliance, to become one with the wild, to become part of the wild's expansion, to bear it's children, to teach it's ways. I could not be happier to be here before you as the receiver of someone so devoted as him."

It was strange. I heard clapping and cheers, but I saw neither hoof nor muzzle move in any way unlike the strange dynamic nature in which these creatures seemed to simply exist.

"On this most glorious of days, Athair is with us, and we will now begin our ceremony." King said, turning once more to me, causing me to follow. In his hand was a piece of glass, about the size of my palm, and he would explain to me that "we are to cut our palms and hold them together, to share blood with one another". As he talked, his face was melting, sometimes shrinking, sometimes expanding. His fur changed hues, his size rose and fall. The Forest's Heart truly was something to behold, I thought. That said, I felt no fear. I simply felt acceptance, like this was the death of my old self, and that I was about to start the rest of my life as something entirely new. I held out my palm, and he held out his, first slicing open mine before handing me the glass, which I used to slice his. It was the first time I'd seen him bleed. Crimson, the same color as mine, immediately surfaced in his palm, puddling up before we would turn our hands and clasp them together, sharing blood, his genetics running through my body as mine did his. I felt incredibly aroused, at the sensation, the thought that we were, in that moment, one. We were united, connected by open wounds.

After the clasping of hands, King would set aside the glass, turning to the audience once more as he proclaimed "with this sharing of blood, we are bonded, and thus now begins the vows. Who would like to speak for us?"

There was clamoring in the audience, the still audience of active animals. A fox would speak up, in a voice that sounded like poorly kept antique film. It was garbled, and I swore I could hardly make sense of what he said, as he came to join us, standing before us and reciting the lines.

"King, do you sacrifice yourself to Nico, to love forever, to love wholly, to love indiscrininately? Do you swear to uphold faithfulness and responsibility, in sickness and in health, and to protect and serve until the end of days?"

King spoke without hesitation, "I do."

"And, Nico, do you sacrifice yourself to King, to love forever, to love wholly, to love indiscrininately? Do you swear to uphold faithfulness and responsibility, in sickness and in health, and to protect and serve until the end of days?"

"I do", I said with the same lack of hesitation, with the same certainty. The sky was pink, like tulips.

"Then, in the name of Athair, in the name of the Wild, I pronounce you husbands, I pronounce you forever bonded, married to one another, married to the Wild. You may now kiss."

On that note, King took me in his arms, one hand supporting my back as the other abruptly lifted me my butt, holding me up to his head's height as he leaned in. We both rattled about, with our decorations, and he kissed me, as best he could. His bare teeth touched my lips and I returned the kiss, closing my eyes, melting into it, quite literally. I felt as if I fell from his hands, like putty through his fingers, and found myself standing once more before him as his hands were lowered. I could not discern what he was wearing, but I assumed it to be the same things in which he'd dressed me. He had similar horn shapes to the deer, the shapes arcing off his head, and he'd take me by the hand and walk me through the archway as the crowd cheered once more. I looked back to them and saw their stillness, as before. The cheering seemed like it came from inside me, like it was bursting outward from my body, rather than resounding off my exterior.

"Now, we dance!" King would announce with vigor, taking me by the hand and proceeding to pull me into the ritual. We did dance, indeed, and somehow I knew the steps to take. I had never danced like that before, the folksy jig in which he'd engaged me, but I somehow knew in my legs the exact ways to move, and we floated like ghosts breezily through the yard, animals around us partnering up and dancing as well, a beautiful ballroom carved out in the wilderness of the Forest's Heart. King danced immaculately, hopping about and twirling me, picking me up, spinning me, putting me down, and I kept the pace somehow as the sky fluctuated through warm colors, bright orange, like fresh clementines on a summer day, dripping on the treetops like poolside popsicles on the weekend, saturating the world beneath the sky in ways I'd never seen before. This was the best day of my life.

We danced for what felt like hours, and afterwards we socialized with the beasts as I had conversations with them that made perfect sense, and no sense at all. King mingled as well, and after a while the guests began to depart. Rather than leaving into the trees, they seemed to fade, disappearing before my vision. I was absolutely exhausted after all the dancing and revelry, the conversation, the chartreuse sky being the only cooling feature, dripping like cold key lime pie on our heads, running down my head and shoulders, making my sticky. I complained about it, and King walked me into the pond to rinse me off. I saw myself in the reflection, finally a bit more clear, and saw on my head were horns, six-point antlers. On my back was a pelt, a black bear's pelt. I looked like some sort of druid, and the sight aroused me once more, the feral state of my appearance. King would take water in his palms and pour it over my head, over my shoulders, wetting not only my fur but the pelt as well, as he told me he was rinsing the sticky sky off my body.

The water ran down my shoulders and hung off my arms like marionette strings connecting me to the surface of the pond. I would reach to pull myself free and find I could not grasp them, no matter how hard I tried. They pulled me down, as if the pond wanted me to join it, to merge with it, and I would whimper to King that the weight of the water was pulling me under.

"It's trying to take me from you" I whimpered, feeling heavy, feeling weighed down by the water King continued to drizzle onto me, feeling as if it was binding me to the water's depth. I fell to my knees, and found that I was below the surface of the water, my ears still above it. I tilted my head upward, my muzzle emerging from the surface as I asked King to save me. I was drowning.

"It will be okay, Nico. It is your amnion, you are simply being gestated by the wild. This is your second birth, the final part of the ceremony."

"I can't--I can't do it" I whimpered. He had always saved me from water before, he had always pulled me from trouble at the last second. Why was he not saving me now?

"You can. You must. There is no other option." he said. I felt as the sandy bottom of the pond was shifting and pulling me deeper. I found, as I sat there on my knees, that I was sinking, and that the surface began to cover my snout even with my head tilted upward. My nose was the only part of me above the water, then suddenly it wasn't. I was submerged, wrapped in the womb of the wild, and I felt so unusually heavy. I groped around under the surface for something to grasp, but every contact I seemed to make with solid object slipped through my fingers, the world still endlessly swirling and evading my hands. King moved past me, and I could feel his body exit the water in front of me, a destination toward which I could crawl. How ironic it was, how often I ended up submerged like this. I could hear murmuring above the surface of the water, his faraway voice, and I tried to crawl towards it in the dark of the womb.

I opened my eyes, seeing before me a hallway, as if my mind had conjured an understandable alternative for my world, something comprehensible in place of the murky depths of the pond. It was a simple hallway, carpeted, wood paneled walls, just like my childhood home. There were photos on the walls, though I couldn't discern what they were. At least the carpet gave me grip, and at the end of the hallway was the bedroom. I scrambled towards it, towards solace, holding my breath the best I could, hoping to see someone who loved me sitting on the edge of the bed , hands outstretched to receive me. All I had was hope. I reached the doorframe and saw him, on the bed. King was there, sitting, waiting for me to reach him, and as I crawled toward him I could feel myself breach the amniotic fluid of the pond. My hand was exposed to warm air, outstretched for him. It fell to the grass, gripping solid earth with confidence, and I dragged myself from the womb of the wild, my head bursting forth from the water's weight, wailing his name. I cried for him, like the newborn I was, laying half-born on the grass, on my belly, bawling my eyes out for him. The Nico that had fallen into the water, sticky and toddling, had died behind me. Everything before today had died. I was born anew, at the feet of my husband, looking up to see him haloed in sunlight. His hands reached down to touch mine, palms on top of my hands as they trembled, new to this world.

"Welcome to your new life, Nico. You are a man now, and a husband. The wild is with you."

---

He carried me home, bridal style this time. I spent most of the time asleep, in and out of twilight states of rest, still in my soaking wet wedding attire though comfortably warm, from the humidity of the Forest's Heart. King was still dressed in his as well, and as the colors and undulations in my vision began to subside, I could make out clearly that were dressed the same, in antlers and pelts, rattling as we walked. I had so many questions, but so little energy to ask them. I was so young to this new world, this world of being a man and a husband, a responsible person. I just wanted to sleep it off, though.

We eventually returned to our world, to the chilling cold of winter, and suddenly my wet fur and clothes gave me quite a bit of discomfort. I began to grumble and shiver, and King would shift how he held me, pressing my chest to his and holding me under my butt. He was holding like a baby, and my arms wrapped around his neck. How embarrassed I was, to make that realization while being too cold and tired to do anything about it. It was evening, the sun was just setting, a little color left in the sky, though none as vibrant as the colors I'd seen throughout the Forest's Heart. I thought about those colors, though tired as I was, and found it strange how they had changed so much today. Every other time I'd been in the Heart, the sky had remained consistently blue.

King brought me to our cabin and sat me on the bed, undressing me of my wedding attire before undressing himself. I sat there, shivering, incredibly weak. I'd had nothing to eat that day after vomiting, and my head was still dazed from the migraine I'd gotten earlier. King came to me, and sat next to me on the bed, scooting back until his back was against the wall, pulling me back with him. His body was warm, at least, and he put his arm around me and held onto me.

"I have looked forward to this for a long time, Nico," he said.

"To what?" I asked.

King's other hand would then reach to mine, grabbing hold of it and guiding it to his sheath, where he pressed my palm to the meat of his crotch. I groped at it some, feeling the girth, giving it a few pumps before I would pull away, asking "can we have dinner first? I don't feel well..."

"We will have dinner afterward. It is time for us to consummate our marriage" King said, grabbing me once more by the hand and returning it to his sheath, holding my hand there. I obliged a bit less, that time, giving it a few gropes before starting to pull away, only to have his hand grab hold of my wrist and yank it back to his sheath. He had a tight grip on my hand, and as I tugged back against it, he would tighten it, holding me there. I said nothing, and the other hand that rested on my shoulder would rub at my arm a bit as I proceeded to stimulate him, groping his sheath and pumping it until his slimy tip began to emerge. I could feel it stiffening in his sheath as it began to rise from the furred flesh, glistening, moist, stinking as it always did. Bathing had done no good for him.

"King..." I spoke quietly as he continued to emerge from his sheath as I masturbated him, eventually rising to full erection, rigid, nearly a foot long in length. His shaft may have been tapered, but it became so thick at the bottom, thicker than my wrist, and as it pulsed in my hands I would remark "I don't want to do this right now..."

"We are going to consummate now, Nico. I have waited so long for this. Continue getting me ready." he insisted. His hand was still holding tightly to my wrist, and I continued to stroke his sheath, eventually moving up to the bare flesh of his erect dick, squeezing it apathetically, nervously. He would exhale as my hand made contact with the bare skin, a satisfied exhale as his head leaned back against the wall, near the window, offering us just a bit of dying light. I wanted anything to get out of this situation, even if just for a moment.

"King, i'm starving. Can we please at least have a little something to eat before we do this? I won't be any good all tired and shaky..." I spoke in an almost whisper. King sighed. He would release my hand and push it away, standing, his erection swinging rigid between his legs.

"Start a fire, I will catch you a fish. Warm yourself, and I will prepare you something to eat. There is still time left before midnight."

"Yaknow, we don't HAVE to do it tonight...it's not gonna be ruined if we wait until tomorrow."

"I have waited eagerly for this. We will consummate tonight. I will make you comfortable first, though."

With that, King left the cabin, grabbing a pike and heading for the water. I went outside and started the fire, sitting by it, warming myself. It felt uncomfortably cold that night, though perhaps I had simply grown accustomed to the warmth of the Forest's Heart. Still, the fire wasn't entirely unpleasant. My head still hurt, though, and I would talk about that as King returned with a fish, preparing it and beginning to roast it over the fire.

"You didn't have a 'migraine', or whatever you called it. It's an effect of the herbal mixture, part of the ceremony." he informed me. I tilted my head, confused.

"The juice is what made me sick?"

"Not exactly. You probably vomited from being unfamiliar with the herbs in the concotion. The proceeding symptoms you displayed, though, the colors and hallucinations, that's from the herbs." King explained. I took a long pause to digest what he'd said, squinting as it became slowly incredulous for me to hear.

"You drugged me?" I asked.

"Define 'drugging'. What is that?" he asked in return.

"You...had me eat something you knew would have an effect on my brain, but didn't tell me it was going to do that?"

King nodded, as if that was plain as day, saying "I've done that several times, every time before we've gone to the Forest's Heart. It's good for you, soothes the worries of what's otherwise an overwhelming experience. You need it, trust me."

"I..." I began, unable to really find words, "why...didn't you tell me? I would've rather known."

"You wouldn't have cooperated. You barely cooperated getting fed regular raspberries."

"That doesn't mean you sneak it to me, though!"

"I didn't. Every meal I've served you with herbal treatments, you ate happily. It was never hidden."

"You didn't EXPLAIN that's what you were doing, though!"

"Did I need to?" he asked. I stammered out words that never were fully complete, unable to find what I even wanted to say in the piles and piles of empty half-sentences. Ultimately, I just wanted dinner. I was upset, but it was yet another case where he didn't understand what was wrong, and I was too tired to fight it. At least he was only serving me fish, which I proceeded to eat as King explained himself more to me.

"It is for your own good. I always carefully chose herbal mixtures that would not harm you. Today was the first time you vomited from one of them, perhaps because it was such a large amount."

As I ate, I'd ask "so...how do I know what parts of our wedding were even real, and what parts were a hallucination?"

"I have no way of knowing what you saw and didn't see unless you tell me, but more importantly: did you not have a wonderful time?"

I had a mouthful of fish, and I'd look away. I didn't have a proper response to that. The wedding had been a thrilling day, even if it had all been very confusing.

"King...I think I need to rest. I'm sorry. We will consummate tomorrow, but I need to go to bed and sleep this off." I said, having finished dinner. I rose, and he remained seated. He didn't answer me, he just looked at me, then past me. I made my way to bed and curled up under the blankets, basked in his scent. I wanted that day to end as positively as it could, so I tried not to think much about the earlier situation in the bed, or King's admission at the campfire. I fell asleep rather easily, belly full and brain fatigued.

I was woken later in the evening, somewhere before midnight, I assumed. King had gotten in bed behind me. I was on my side, and he spooned up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. I laid there, trying to go back to sleep, and I could feel his snout nosing at the back of my neck, rubbing at me, as if trying to make sure I was awake. He then proceeded to open his mouth, and drag his teeth on the back of my neck. A hand went to my shoulder and twisted my upper half back a bit, allowing him access to the side of my neck, where he began to gnaw. He was not breaking skin, it was as if he was flirting with me, instead of feeding off me. His teeth hurt, though, without that numbing saliva to ease the pain of biting. I squirmed some, a slight tug away, but his hands held me still. He continued to chew, bearing down just hard enough to not break skin, to not allow me the pleasure of his numbing capabilities. His hips would then curl in closer to mine, closing the distance between us and pressing a rigid erection against my back. He proceeded to start slow thrusting, grinding his dick up against my back, against his belly.

I laid there, motionless, letting him do as he wished, hoping he would ejaculate on my back and go to bed. He then, however, pulled back his hips and shifted angles, and suddenly I would feel the tip of his dick pressing dry under my tail, against my entrance. I clenched up, pulling my hips away, only for the hand that held my shoulder to jolt downward and grab me by my hip bones, his fingers digging into the meat of my skin as he held me still. He found his mark once more, and pressed firmly against it. The pain was hot, he'd not lubricated at all, and I think he sensed this as well as I felt his belly tense, then suddenly relax, and a spritz of warmth would squirt under my tail. He'd urinated a bit against my backside, to lubricate us, and then I felt it. The brute force of his body pushed forward and speared him up into me, breaching my walls as he rammed six or so inches into my backside. The pain was searing, my eyes welled up with tears and I began to whimper, quietly. I knew he could hear it, just as I could hear his labored breathing behind me.

The rest of the inches followed in a thrust so forceful it made him grunt, as if he had to struggle to find where to put it inside me. He'd never been that deep before, and I could only gasp as I felt him entirely too far into my body. The burning feeling was excruciating, I was clenched down hard and he was not nearly lubricated enough. It made no difference. He pulled back and thrust once more, the bed creaking as his hands held me still and he proceeded to dig his shaft up into me. I could feel it in my stomach, and I drew my arms inward, close to my chest, my hands at my mouth to cover the sounds I was involuntarily making. I could feel his breathing on the back of my neck, labored, viciously aroused, constantly distracting me from trying to find a place mentally far away from this bed, from this body behind me.

I had grown erect, against my will, and his curious hand would wander around my hip and reach for it, starting to aggressively masturbate it as if he was trying to force me to climax before him. His hand was as dry as the penetration was, and the friction hurt. I swatted his hand away, and he seemed to require little persuasion in that regard. His hand returned to holding my hips steady as one of my own hands guarded my dick, holding it so he couldn't. The friction inside me had subsided a bit, though the pain had not. Something was making it wetter, but it was far too early for it to have been him. I believed I was bleeding, at that point, and I chose to start attempting to pleasure myself in any attempts to get my mind away from what was happening. I had nowhere to run. Even if I had thrashed suddenly, I would have to free myself not only of his penetration but of his grip. After that, where could I run? I had nothing to do but accept it, and I decided to at least try to bring myself to some sort of conclusion to it all, in hopes that he would follow either shortly before or after.

His thrusting grew far more aggressive over the ensuing minutes, and the loss of friction had not done anything to quell the pain. My intenstines felt like they were on fire, so much so that the climax he finally expelled inside me did nothing to ease my discomfort. I could feel it, though, surging into me, a fertile, heavy load punctuated with that sickening plug, that "sphragis" as he'd called it. It was all lodged inside me now, and I could feel him throbbing hard, his breathing so labored that he was vocalizing, audible "ugh" sounds as he groaned in a sickening pleasure. I brought myself to climax as well, to end it all, and as the rush subsided, I felt only pain, only terrible pain. King pulled out rather quickly, and I could hear it, the wet sounds of his body exiting mine. There was warmth running out of my backside, and I had no idea which fluid it could be, if it was even one solitary fluid at all. I laid there, for a good few minutes, digesting what had happened, trying to cope with the intense cramping in my stomach from the penetration and the proceeding seed deposited inside me.

I finally turned to rise, hoping I could go outside and expel his load from my body, and as I crawled over top of him I'd whisper "i'll be right back", as he started at the ceiling, his mouth open, his body satisfied. I wandered dazed out into the cold air, into the outside world, and barely made it to a nearby tree before I had to squat in pain. No part of me wishes to detail what expelled from my body, but it was a mixture of terrible things. The plug, though, the plug held the worst parts inside me, deep inside me, and no amount of struggling would free it. It was stuck, deep in my body, until it was ready to be released. I returned to the bed, the covers I had pulled back revealing a substantial amount of blood on the sheets, a crimson smudge between our two bodies that was still wet, drying, stinking of both of us. I crawled into bed and laid on top of it, pulling the blankets over my body, King rolling to his side and returning his arm around me, holding me close to him.

Somehow, I fell asleep after that.