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A Goodbye letter

By Patrick D. Lambert

Commissioned by Noku Croc

My name is Hiroaki. As far as I remember, I've been a nerd my entire life. But that's ok. I liked learning about the world. I read book after book. I watched more documentaries than cartoons during my entire childhood. I wasn't popular, and never had many friends, but that was a void I filled with the knowledge that I treasured so much--and that no longer has any use to me. And I have no one else to thank for that but Ulysses.

_I met him a Saturday afternoon while looking for a new roommate. I had a spare room in my apartment since a friend left to live with his girlfriend. I spent most of my time between the campus and my bedroom, with almost no space for parties or the like, so I was open to pretty much anyone who wanted to move in--as long as they paid the rent. I think I was working on an essay about the cultural influence Eastern has over the West when I got his message, saying he was passing by and thought it was a good idea to check the place. Nothing really out of the ordinary, other people did the same previously. _

I didn't have time to dress up properly--he was already walking upstairs when I replied. I'm glad I didn't, and that's one of the things I still remember perfectly. I was sweaty from that summer afternoon and wearing a large tank top and short pants. I didn't have time to take a shower that morning since I had no plans for the day and really wanted to focus on that project. Fuck, I matched his energy perfectly.

_I've seen many wolves in my life. I've never felt attracted to one. But Ulysses was different from the rest. Something in his aspect started a fire in my soul that began to consume me from the very first moment I laid eyes on him. He was taller than me by some inches, an already impressive trait. And he was the type of guy that liked to use tank tops on a daily basis as an excuse to show off his muscular body--which I had to admit was breathtaking. His fur was short and black as the night, and he looked down at me with his big, beautiful dark brown eyes. I perceived a kind of disbelief in his expression, but it quickly faded into a cheerful, easy-going smile. _

"Hey, are you the guy renting a room?" He asked in a deep voice that sent shivers down my spine. The wolf took a look at his cell phone. "Hiroaki, right?"

"Yeah. It's me."

_I still can't believe I managed to stay calm. Inside I was a mess. My nose perceived the strong musk coming from his body, and while the short fur didn't make it notorious, I knew he was soaking wet from head to toe. He probably was coming back from the gym and was carrying his dirty clothes on the yellow backpack hanging from his left shoulder. I still remember perfectly that first urge to hold him and lick the sweat from his fur, to bathe myself in that masculine scent that was tingling in my nose, and worship each one of his huge muscles. _

"Good! I was afraid I knocked at the wrong door. That would've been awkward. Name's Ulysses, by the way," he spoke quickly, like the type of person that never had time to waste. He left that clear by the disrespectful way in which he inspected the apartment, almost walking in without even asking if it was ok.

Of course, I didn't mind, my attention focused on more important things than that.

"Nice place you have here," he told me before walking in. I believe he took my lack of response as an invitation. "And it's so close to the campus I'm surprised the rent is so cheap!"

_"You study at X University?" I asked with sincere surprise. _

"Yeah. Finances. But it's really not my thing. I wanna play football. I even got a sports scholarship and everything. I picked that career because Dad wanted me in the family business if I don't succeed. I'm gonna prove him wrong, tho."

He went through a lot of personal details without me asking as he inspected the living room's furniture. It was the type of response from someone who used to be the center of attention, and for some reason, it didn't bother me. The reason is obvious now, but at that moment I was baffled by the sudden attraction that led me to ignore a lot of details I probably wouldn't have accepted in any other person.

_"I can show you the room if you prefer," I shyly suggested. I'm not sure if he noticed how nervous I was. If he did, he was kind enough not to mention it. _

"That would be excellent."

_The room was nothing special, but he still reacted with amazement at the size. _

"Man, this is great! I can bring all my stuff and still gonna have a lot of spare space."

"I assume you live at the dorms."

"Yeah. It's nice to live on campus, but I need my privacy, you know? A boy has his needs," right after saying that, he winked at me. "I saw other apartments in the area, but they all have rules worse than the dorms. Is the rent really that low? Fuck, that's gonna be a blessing."

"Well, I haven't mentioned the rules--not that I have a lot. Mostly respect each other's space and stuff. Keep the noise down during the night. Nothing too strict, I think."

_"Nothing about bringing... you know, company?" _

_He elbowed me as if the implications weren't already obvious. That did nothing but encourage my lustful mind, and his naked image came to life over the bed, humping an invisible body with all his might. I was lucky to have enough self-control to keep my manhood from getting hard. _

"N-no. Just be responsible about it."

"That's all I wanted to hear."

_I went on and explained the formal requirements to proceed, and Ulysses was kind enough to stay quiet until the end. My mind was kind too, keeping those lustful thoughts aside while my most serious personality took control of the situation. _

_But as soon as he left, I became an absolute mess. It didn't help his musk lingered over the apartment, and I had to jerk off a couple of times to settle down. At that moment I had no words to explain my brutal attraction toward him. Were his muscles? His voice? His easy-going personality? Or maybe everything? He wasn't unique in any way, as I'd met males similar to him in the past. But maybe all those little traits that looked so generic separately had been arranged in a way that made him "unique". _

I went to bed with that thought in mind, only for my dreams to be tormented by his image in the most arousing way possible.

He moved in some days later. Some of his friends helped him with his stuff, and while they were built similarly, none of them had on me the same effect Ulysses had. I tried to convince myself that it was probably my libido due to the lack of sex and that everything would settle down eventually. It is common to feel a momentary attraction even for people you look at on the street, right?

_Sadly, I was wrong. _

_On the first days, I was lucky enough to spend a lot of my time on campus, so I barely interacted with him. I arrived too exhausted to even pay attention to the lingering scent he left in the hallway. I only heard his music through the walls and nothing else. And he was respectful of my privacy and schedule, leaving notes whenever he needed to say something instead of knocking at my door in the middle of the night. It kept things calmed, and my interest began to fade. _

_But two weeks later, he finally dared to wait until I arrived. _

"This is probably gonna sound super weird but... do you have time to help me study? I have a test next week and I have no idea what to do."

_It was the first time I heard him worry. All those muscles and attitude were nothing when it came to his grades, and he was humble enough to admit he needed help. I guess that's what made me feel sympathy for him. I shouldn't have accepted, but something inside told me I had to. I don't regret my choice, I just wonder how things could have gone if I'd said no. After all, my entire life changed since that moment. _

_Because he was... well, dumb, I dedicated more time than I originally expected. He was learning, yeah, at a slow rate. But he decided to learn and pass that test. He made it clear nothing would come between him and football. I've met jocks during my life. I can say without a doubt all of them were hollow guys with no personality beyond being hot and cool and good at some sport. _

Ulysses was different. With each study session, I discovered his soul was as deep as an iceberg. He talked about how he was always picked last at recess, how they mocked him for being slow and weak, and what little faith his own father had in his dreams. I realized he was more than just another generic jock. I believe the trust he put in me helped him on getting a better understanding of the same lessons he failed to learn from his teachers. I became a friend to him. And I was too afraid to admit that I'd fallen in love with him.

_I was too weak to resist the temptation after he suggested to join him at the gym. "You're not that bad. You just need some muscles, bro", he said, and I accepted without thinking. The next day he became the teacher and taught me a basic routine. I just did as he say, trying to stay calm while his huge hands moved over my body to show me the proper way to stand on each exercise. I stopped my cock from getting hard, but my mind imagined those hands exploring more intimate, sensitive spots. My love, after all, was not free of that lustful desire that led me to accept him in my house at first. _

_I thought it was a phase. I told myself it would end sooner or later. But once again, I underestimate the reach of my emotions. Because, at the end of the day, Ulysses was still a jock--one so dumb to realize his meaningless actions were teasing me day after day. He had a bad habit of leaving his dirty clothes on the ground before taking a bath, only to pick them up hours later--sometimes after coming back from a party or a reunion. His dirty uniform, a sweaty tank top, his musky jockstraps, that and more laid around like the Forbidden Fruit, tempting me to give up on my attraction. _

I'm no longer ashamed to admit that I did. One night he went out after practice, I took off my clothes and put on his uniform. It was still sweaty, and it felt cold and heavy. The smell was strong too. My thoughts went immediately to him, to that same field where he trained that afternoon. I saw him run and tackle his friends. I felt the fresh grass under my paws. I trembled at the intense effort put into every one of his muscles as he worked hard to make his dream come true. And the sheer excitement of that was enough to get me rock hard. But my lust was not satisfied with just that. I knelt to pick up his dirty jockstrap and pressed it against my face. My nose tickled, and my lungs filled with the intense musk of his manhood that earlier was covered by that yellowish piece of cloth. It sent shivers down my spine. It made me feel so weak and powerful at the same time. I had the most intense orgasm of my life.

_It became a recurrent thing after that day. Ulysses probably thought I didn't care that much about rules and took it as an open invitation to act more relaxed at home. If that's the case, I'm glad he thought that way. It was a paradise for me, snatching his clothes as soon as he left or with the excuse that I'd take care of the laundry that day. I reached climax multiple times by the sole musk coming from his clothes, an intoxicating scent that pushed my mind into its most savage state. _

I knew it was a lie when I told myself that was enough to satiate my lust. I knew I wanted more. Days went by and his musky clothes no longer provided me with the same pleasure. Neither did his presence at the gym, when even the image of his sweaty body began to look boring to my eyes. But there wasn't a lot I could do. With him being straight, the idea of making a move was ridiculous and dangerous. No matter how kind and charming he was, a dumb jock was still a dumb jock, and I knew how proud they were of his masculinity--enough to find it offensive being the target of another's male attraction.

_What follows now might sound impossible--even absurd. I myself had a hard time believing it worked, for it goes against everything I had studied for years. It was a desperate choice, forced upon me by the intense lust and love I feel for him and my impossibility to do something to fulfill it. I willingly abandoned my logic in search of a more supernatural solution that could help me, one offered by a friend that I knew was deeply involved with the occult. _

_"A love potion?" I still remember the incredulity on his face. _

_I know Jacob from high school. He was an outcast, just like me. I think that's what made our friendship blossom, even when we had very little in common. I mocked him for believing in magic stuff that came straight out of a fantasy novel. He laughed at how naïve I was for thinking numbers and equations ruled the universe. It's the most sincere friendship I have. _

_"Yes. You made those, right?" _

_"A love potion..." he repeated, and his incredulity turned into a loud laugh. "I'm sorry but from what stupid show you got that name?" _

_"What about it? Don't you name your potions?" _

"I would, if my job was to scam people. But this is a serious establishment, pal. I don't put stupid names on my potions."

Of course he had it. But what he handed me was not the potion I asked for. "You must be desperate if you want my help. Love isn't desperate. So I'm gonna give you something that should help you satiate that thirst and move on. It's on the house."

_A Hypnosis Spell, he called it. It had no label, and the purple liquid inside swirled even when I wasn't moving the small bottle. I didn't dare to smell it. I have to admit that I still doubted if that thing was legit, although a part of me felt strange whenever I looked at the liquid for too long. Of course, it worked, much to my surprise. I swallowed my pride and accepted there were things science couldn't explain. _

I tried it that same night. While Ulysses was asleep, I went to the bathroom and took one of his jockstraps from the hamper to smear the liquid all over it. Its color vanished as the cloth absorbed it, leaving no trace of it. I caught a faint sweet scent for a brief instant, enough to relax me. That was the first sign something was off with that substance, proof that got rid of the doubts that almost stopped me from doing it.

"He had to smell it. Make him take a good whiff of it."

_So I went into his room and found him laying half-naked on his bed, snoring loudly. He looked so vulnerable. So inviting. I knew his musk and uniform were no longer enough to please me. I wanted to touch and feel that body I was attracted to, even for a moment. Again, I justified my actions by thinking it was a one-time thing. But that was a lie. I have no self-control when it comes to him. _

I remember standing next to his bed for several minutes. Despite having seen him shirtless multiple times, I never had the opportunity to admire him. My eyes followed the shape of his well-toned muscles from head to toe, amazed by the dedication put into them. I can't imagine the hours dedicated day after day to acquire that body. All the workouts. All the miles ran. It was pure perfection. Not a single muscle looked smaller. He knew how to work every muscle group, proof of the path taken by his intellect. He's dumb because he failed the expectations others had put on him, but he's a genius at what he loves. And I believe I am the first one to notice that.

_After I gathered enough courage, I carefully placed the jock over his nose. Nothing happened at first, and I tried not to feel like an idiot for believing in Jacob's crap. Then Ulysses sat up without a warning. I almost shat my pants, pardon my language, terrified for not having a good excuse to be in his room. But when the jockstrap fell from his face, he showed a dumb and tired expression. He didn't move a single muscle after that, and I remained there, silently waiting for something to happen. _

_He started drooling, and that told me the potion worked. I couldn't believe it. I waved my hand and snapped my fingers but Ulysses didn't react. Real magic happened before my eyes and I couldn't believe it. I didn't even try to find a logical explanation. I just accepted what I saw! Because that meant I could do anything to Ulysses and he wouldn't remember. _

_Oh, I know how creepy that sounds. But I don't care. I have done so many good deeds during my life that I believe that little whim was totally deserved. The jock I love was at my mercy, but that doesn't mean I mistreat him. All the contrary, I worshipped him as he deserved. _

_I didn't kiss him, for I was not worthy of his lips. Instead, I let my hands show him my love by dancing slowly and carefully over his body. I dared not to touch him too hard, only rubbing his shoulders and pecs with the tip of my fingers. The closeness at first was enough. I had my chance to feel him in a way he would've never allowed me. Of course, I prolonged each second as much as I could, savoring the perfect body I had in my hands. _

But there's a limit to how much enjoyment I can get from something. I wanted more. I didn't realize my hands had acted on their own until I squeezed his pecs. Ulysses grunted without getting out of trance, so I did it again, now conscious of it. The muscles were too firm and juicy, and the more I squeezed, the more his grunts turned into moans--without his expression changing. That's when my lust pushed my feelings aside and took control of the situation. I pushed my wolf back to bed and sat on top of him. My hands moved up and down his chest, following the outlines of his muscles and searching for his most sensitive spots. His fur was soft, and his skin warm. I approached his neck and took a long, deep breath to fill my body with the intense and masculine scent of his musk. I was in heaven.

_And the more I touched, the more I wanted. Only now I see that I had put my supposed worshipping aside to make way for my raw lust. I let myself a moment of selfishness and gave myself a carnal pleasure I'd never experienced before. My cock was painfully hard and even then I couldn't move my hands away from his body, the sole source of my pleasure. _

_And when I couldn't resist anymore, it was his manhood the one I decided to enjoy. I slowly slid down his boxers, savoring the reveal of his bulge. His red knot was the first thing to appear, and I drooled in awe as more and more of his thick cock appeared before me, until the cloth could no longer hold it and it jumped out, throwing some pre at me. Its size surpassed my expectations, and the musk hit my nose like an uppercut, leaving me stunned for a moment. _

When I came back to my senses, I saw my hands trembling as I tried to hold Ulysses's cock. I couldn't but feel like a sick creep, taking advantage of someone that put his trust in me. Was I despicable for going so far to fulfill a fantasy? Of course I was. But rather than feeling disgusted by that thought, it only encouraged me to continue. It pumped a strange dose of adrenaline into my blood that shut down any moral compass that could've stopped me in any other circumstance. I felt powerful, a weak being like me having total control over a strong, tall jock. So I closed my hands around his cock and embraced the depravation that had pushed me so far.

_Oh, the memory brings shivers to my spine! The thickness. The size. How warm and soft his cock is. And the sounds he made as I moved my fingers up and down, smearing his own pre all over it. My big, bad wolf was whining like a cub, prey of a pleasure he couldn't control. I wondered if he was awake or conscious, if he could see me on top of him handling his cock however I wanted. I hoped he was. It turned me on to think he was. Trapped inside his own body. Nothing but a puppet made for my pleasure. _

_I believe that's the moment when my love turned into something else. Those thoughts were sick, but my libido was too strong at that moment to care about them. I left that seed to grow inside my mind, watered with my fantasies and receiving the sun rays of a lust that burned with the ferocity of a sun. _

As for what happened after that, well, I didn't dare to take his cock on the first night. What can I say? His size alone was threatening. And despite knowing the potion worked, I still have some doubts, like the duration. I stopped before his climax, using all of my willpower to leave and not come back during the night. I couldn't sleep, not with my heart racing and my cock throbbing like that. But I didn't jerk off either. No, I edged like crazy for the rest of the night, building up that lust to the point it was almost unbearable.

My soul rested when I saw him the next morning. My wolf walked out of his room wearing only his boxers and still half erect. He stared in confusion at everything around the living room, with deep grunts coming out of his mouth. He probably thought he had the wildest wet dream, and I had to stop myself from giggling until I left the apartment.

As you can imagine I went straight to Jacob for another potion, leaving the money on his desk before he could say the price.

"You're going into a dark path, my friend," he said with a laugh, but still gave me the potion after I asked him for more instructions. "He's not gonna snap out of the effect unless you hurt him reaaaally bad. And he's gonna obey your every command."

I was afraid he would mock me, after my stubbornness in denying his beliefs. But the rat just smiled and gave me another sample of his potion.

"There's so much science can't provide you. And I'll stay here to show you that."

I was partially afraid of the path I had taken. It was new, different, and unknown. But I had a flame inside me guiding me through the way. My love and desire for a male for whom the definition of perfection was simply not enough.

_I repeated the process the next night. But I was ready to do more than just touch him. While I went over the same physical exploration, my mind tried to find the right order to give him. In the end, I came up with a simple answer. _

_"Make me yours." _

_I whispered those words to his ear, and Ulysses reacted immediately. There were no kisses or foreplay. His definition of sex was plain and simple: take control over your lover. Instead of his lips, my mouth met his cock when the strong wolf pushed my head down. I was taken by surprise at that sudden display of dominance, but all it did at the end was turn me on more. With my lips around his cock, I let my wolf fuck my mouth to his heart's content, savoring each inch of manhood he shoved deep into my throat. _

_The taste and smell stunned me completely after some seconds, and I couldn't but feel like a living fleshlight at how he held my head with both hands. It was so dirty and kinky, and I was in love with it. The sheer passion with which he trusted made me doubt for a moment if he was still under the potion's effect. Well, it didn't matter at that moment. All I wanted was for him to continue and for me to keep tasting that juicy cock. _

I did my best to match the skill of the unknown partners I knew he had slept with in the past. I pressed my lips and licked each inch of cock. Ulysses left his cock for moments deep inside my throat, only to continue thrusting before my gag reflexes acted. And I was in paradise, leaking profoundly over his bed and struggling not to touch my cock. I had something else in mind.

_I'm not sure how long that lasted. 5 or 10 minutes, maybe even more. My jaw was sore by the time he pulled it out, and he gave me no time to recover, for the horny wolf wanted another hole to fuck. _

_Oh, the fear and delight I experimented when he put me on my fours and rubbed his fat cock between my cheeks. What a wonderful contrast! My heart was racing and I couldn't stop shivering. Time went slower as the moment approached, and my head became a mess full of questions and dilemmas that made me wonder if I was doing the right thing. But the pain of his cock going inside my ass pushed those thoughts aside and dragged me back to reality. I clenched the sheets and shoved my face into his pillow, trying to find some comfort in the lingering smell on it. _

_There's no way to be fully prepared for something of that size, physically or mentally. My wolf was big--bigger than any other male with whom I had been before. And my slender body wasn't ready for something of his size. Yet, the pain caused by his thick manhood was one I started to enjoy after he started thrusting. And with each second that passed, that pain turned into pleasure. Despite knowing I was in control--as all I had to do was told him to stop--, I let myself enjoy that sensation of powerlessness as Ulysses got more and more aggressive with his thrust, letting me know he cared for nothing else but his pleasure. _

_Harder and faster, that sexy wolf drooled over my back while he made use of all his strength to fuck my ass with absolute disregard. His mixtures of grunts and moans made him sound like a primitive beast, and each thrust slowly pushed me into that same state. About five minutes into it I came hands-free over his bed, squeezing his cock in the process. I couldn't stop my climax, not with how hard he was pressing my prostate. But he was far from finishing. And I must say, that clima was simply not enough to satiate my lust. _

_No, a climax didn't stop me. The intoxicating musk filling the room got me hard again in a matter of seconds. I began to move my hips to match his pace, pleased by the loud, wet slaps made with each thrust. It was so kinky and intense that I went completely dumb minutes later. I sweated my shame out and embraced the creep I had become, fully aware I wouldn't return to who I was before meeting him. _

I was on my fours, being fucked by a zonked wolf that wasn't conscious of what was going on. And I loved it.

_I don't know how long it took him to cum. But I felt it. And it was like nothing I'd felt before. His knot went in with a loud pop and his seed began to flood my insides in mere seconds. The strength of its throbs. How warm his cum was. I experienced an ecstasy that changed my life. And my sweet wolf, I knew that he felt it even in the middle of his trance. He held tightly to my hips while his body trembled furiously during a climax that squished his weak mind. _

Those seconds it lasted felt like an eternity, and I was so happy from having his cum inside that I despised the idea of leaving. My libido was still strong, and my heart pumped happily after he fell exhausted over me. I wanted to stay there. I wanted to fall asleep with his manhood still inside. I wanted to wake up the next morning, embrace him, and let him know how deep my love for him was. But I knew I couldn't allow myself that luxury. But I left the room with the satisfaction of knowing he was completely mine.

_It became a regular thing after that night. I got addicted to that pleasure, and Jacob was happy to provide not only with the same hypnosis potion. Fridays were our special day. I took my wolf on a ride after and we started to fuck all over the apartment. My bedroom, the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom. I just gave Ulysses an order, and the zonked wolf followed it, wagging his tail in the process. I took his cock in different positions and got bred so many times I lost count. Not a single time he disappointed me, using my body in that selfish way he knew so well, ravaging my hole to seek nothing but his own satisfaction. It felt almost as if he was out of trance while he fucked me. _

_But it wasn't just his cock that I enjoyed. I continued worshipping his body with the same devotion from the first time. Short fur, strong muscles, delicious smell. I've talked about this before, I know, but I can't stop. I am amazed by his perfection that I feel obligated to keep talking about it. I need to make it clear. Because that same perfection is what brought me to this point. _

Maybe it was something I developed over time. Maybe it started from the very moment I laid eyes on him. But as my devotion to his body continued, I noticed a different desire slowly coming up. I remained quiet while he went on with his life, unaware of all the things he had done with me. I heard the females he brought to his room, and how he made them moan--never the same way he made me moan. I was full of a strong confidence from knowing he was under my command. And yet, I wanted more. After all the things I did with him, I wanted more. And no, I didn't want him to be aware; that idea didn't bring me any pleasure. I felt jealous. I felt bored. The doubt afflicted me so badly that I failed to focus on even the simplest task. It took me days to reach an answer that managed to put my soul at ease.

I WANTED him.

_Worshipping his body was no longer enough. Maybe it wasn't enough from the beginning and I just fooled myself with a pleasure that now looks... banal. I'm sure Jacob could've found the answer from the start, but I needed to go to places I'd never been before to accept a reality that was against my beliefs; only then I had a chance to grasp my true desire. I wanted to become Ulysses. I wanted that wolf for myself. _

_I no longer recognized my reflection in the mirror. I wasn't disgusted by my body, but I was no longer happy with it. It felt strange, as if it didn't belong to me. That sensation spread to other aspects of my life. Study, work, dreams, everything I enjoyed for years became boring and irrelevant. My soul only found peace whenever I was alone with my zonked wolf. And that's what led me to realize that my only option to reach happiness was to leave my old life and body behind and become the wolf that I'd been adoring for months. How wonderful would it be to wake up in the life of a strong, dumb, musky wolf whose only purpose in life is to play football? I wanted that life for myself, as simple as it might sound. _

But how would you become another person? Well, my rat friend knew the answer and just gave me a black potion after I tried to explain what I wanted. No doubts. No questions. He just put the flask over the table and looked at me.

"This is gonna cost you everything you have, and I'm not talking metaphorically. But you won't be needing those savings anymore. Not after you become the source of your adoration. Just be wary, this is the last time we are gonna see each other."

_"And why is that?" _

"You can't have two lives for yourself. And when you leave one behind, its memory is gonna vanish from this world. Not that you really need to remember it, if you want this so badly."

_I gave up all my savings and kissed my friend goodbye, confident in the power held inside that crystal flask. I went back home euphoric, holding that flask as my most precious treasure, and knowing that my life was about to change that very same night. _

I didn't bother to say goodbye to anyone else. I didn't try to question how that would work. I didn't even think about how wrong it was. No, the point of no return was crossed a long time ago. I can safely say now that my love and devotion were nothing but jealousy of a life much simpler and happier than mine, one that I learned to enjoy through the trust put by that same wolf I was about to betray. I was beyond redemption, but I don't care, for there is no one in this world that would punish a long-gone memory.

Jacob said I couldn't use the hypno-potion that time. So, after some quick preparations, I snuck into his room during the night and carefully smeared the potion over his bare chest. The liquid was thick, and it felt almost like tar. Surprisingly, it was darker than his fur, leaving a distinctive stain on it. Cold and sticky, I poured the entire bottle and moved my hands as slowly as I could. However, I underestimated how sensitive Ulysses was, and fell from the bed in surprise when I saw his brown eyes looking at me.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" He yelled as he jumped out of bed. Fists clenched, fangs gnashing, I met with a facet of his personality that he never showed before. He took a step forward, then immediately stopped after noticing the liquid over his chest. "Fucking faggot, what did you put in me?!"

He grabbed me by the neck and pulled me upwards until I was face to face with him. I could tell he was livid. That growl still lives in my memory.

"I should have known you was up to something. Answer me! What's this thing?!"

_I acted by sheer instinct. I pushed him away, but my hands disappeared momentarily under the sticky liquid covering his chest. My wolf tried to say something, but all he did was stare in awe at what just happened. He took a step back and held a terrified expression. I was left baffled by how that instant felt. With the black liquid covering up my elbows, the closest way to describe it is like submerging in a pool. Cold and dark, I knew that stain in Ulysses' chest was a portal to his body. So I did the only thing I could come up with and tackled him into the bed. _

I recall he told me to stop. I think he begged. Maybe I heard wrong. My focus was entirely on his chest, which I'm sure he tried to stop me from getting into. But the fear had consumed his strength, and all he could do was watch as I went head in into the portal that I had opened. Maybe I dived in. Maybe I simply melted. All I saw was a completely black space where I find myself able to move freely. I couldn't see my body, but I knew it was there. And I felt more and more of myself as I invaded Ulysses' body. My chest, my waist, my legs. Soon enough I was completely in, swimming in an infinite void.

_I wonder how it was for him, but that's the only memory I can't see. Did he struggle? Did he panic? What were his last memories about? Maybe the fear locked that memory away. What I know is that I perceived when his mind shut down and his body went down. It was similar to that "static sensation" from when you turn on a TV. I looked behind, from when I came in, but I saw nothing. Just darkness. I was stuck in, trapped inside my wolf's body. And I was in peace. No lust. No love. Nothing at all. Just... peace. I extended my arms and sunk into that sensation. _

I don't know how long that lasted, but when I woke up, there was something surrounding me. Like a suit made to size, my entire body felt wrapped around something that fits perfectly. Suddenly, bizarre shapes appeared before me, and color began to fill the void. A white roof. Sun rays coming in. The shapes transformed into familiar furniture, and a soreness afflicted my body after I perceived the cold ground below me. I raised a hand but what I saw was a wolf one. Short, black fur, with muscles bigger than what I remembered. Leaving the soreness behind, I got up and checked myself in the mirror.

There I was, looking at the black wolf reflected on it. In my disbelief, my new hands moved all over a body that I knew very well, but the touch was completely different. Now I felt it. I felt my own body. The disbelief turned into surprise, and the surprise into joy. I laughed and shed tears of happiness as I embraced my new self. My new wolf body. All those feelings that tormented me for months disappeared. I was finally happy.

_It took me a moment to get used to it. I was taller and stronger, which made my walk different. My vision and smell were sharper too, and my own musk hit me stronger than before. But as my exploration continued, I noticed things that weren't there. Names, memories, and knowledge that I soon realized belonged to Ulysses. The spell not only gave me his body, but his mind too, and I was slowly gaining domain over the experiences lived through his 22 years of life. _

_It was confusing, I must admit. I got a headache from reliving memories that didn't match with what I actually experienced. I was overwhelmed by the details of his knowledge of sports and the like. It was so intense that I didn't notice my own memories were fading into oblivion, no longer needed in my life. But I'd be lying if I say I didn't enjoy the process. After all, I was becoming a jock wolf. _

_It's been two weeks since then. I've been doing my best to live my life as Ulysses, and I'm getting better at it each day. I've been going to parties with his friends, and the pain from football practices is turning into something enjoyable. I still have a liking for males over females, and I can't express with words how fantastic sex is in this body. I feel now more comfortable being a wolf. _

_Just like Jacob said, my past life has disappeared from this world. I went to visit him, but he didn't know what I was talking about. I asked around the campus, but no one remembers a student with my past name. I even disappeared from official documents. It's scary to think about it since I'm starting to forget too. I wake up each day with more fragments of my memory missing. I no longer remember my name or even what species I was before. One day everything will disappear and I will be complete. I will be Ulysses. _

_This diary acts as a record of my transformation, and while it might not make any sense in the future, it'll remain as proof that I existed. Goodbye, my old self. _

_As for what happened to the real Ulysses... well, I'm glad that I will forget about him too. _

The black wolf leaned his head to the right as he read the last entry on that old diary he found. It was his handwriting, that's for sure, but he couldn't remember writing any of that. And yet, there was a strange familiarity on those words. As he pondered more on the last words written, his dumb brain felt closer and closer to an answer that had been there the entire time. All he needed was to focus a little more...

HONK

"Hurry up, dickhead!" A friend called him from outside, and Ulysses snapped out of his trance. After a good headshake, the wolf concluded he probably wrote that while being high, and threw the diary into the bin, leaving the apartment that a stranger left to his name a year ago, since the day he moved in looking for a room close to the campus.