Angel Wore Blue: Chapter 3
#3 of Angel wore blue
Raze recounts his days with Angel, a singer he meets in a small town in the middle of nowhere. The two kindle flames of love, but their inner demons cause friction. The situation is only made worse when their own vices threaten to tear them apart.
Angel was a bitch.
You heard me.
She was a god damn fuckin' bitch.
...Bitches were always my kryptonite.
My weekend stay turned into a small vacation, thanks to that bitch. After two days of hanging around that town that time forgot, Angel had somehow convinced me to extend my stay and blow half my funds on a longer deposit. I coulda kicked her to the moon for that. But of course, it wasn't all that bad. Makes me sick, thinking about it.
If I had a dime for every time I met a stuck up, nasty, vicious woman with something to prove and an attitude to match, I'd have never stayed in that place. You know what though? Those bitches, they're all right. Us men can be fuckin' dickheads sometimes, and we need to be called out on our shit. Honest bitches are the best bitches. Angel was honest. Sorta. More in the way of not having fucks to give for someone else's bullshit. The first couple days we had spent lazing around the bedroom at the inn. Jaw jacking, fucking, eating, more fucking, more eating. Watching corny ass movies on the television. It was half bad. By the third day she told me to get my lazy ass outta bed before I could get drunk and shower. We were gonna go outside for a change, if I wanted her to stick around. Well, with nothing else better to do, I came around to her idea and scrubbed myself up to look somewhat presentable and decent. We rode my bike down to the beach. Angel wore my jacket, it was too big for her, but she didn't care much. Besides, she wore it better than I did. Her arms hugged around my waist from behind, the wind pushing through the hairs on our faces as we sped along through empty roads. Her jaw rest on my shoulder, her eyes staring off into the horizon, a lingering stare of wonder in them. I did my best to keep my eyes on the road, but it was hard not to look back at her every now and then. I'm not one for lingering on conversations held the day before, but her words had fucked me up pretty good. I half hated her for that. For one thing, bitch had eaten all my fuckin' breakfast bacon.
...But no one ever thanked me for being me. Urggh.
I remember walking the beach with her. The sky was dark, and as usual fuckin' raining again. A light sprinkle, but enough to still make my fur damp and piss me off. I stared up at the clouds, a little grunt escaping my muzzle. "Does it ever fuckin' stop?"
Angel grinned, shaking her head, looking up from her toes in the sand to the rocks off in the distance. Her arm was around mine, tightly leaning into my side. "Nope. Been here most of my life, most of the time, always raining. Feels like the sun only shines when someone dies around here. Ironic." She looked to me, tipping her head a little, "What's it like? Where you come from?"
"The hell do you care?" I answered her a question with a question, looking at the water to my left. A few footsteps later, I huffed quietly, "...Never really had one place. Seems like every time I stay somewhere too long, it all goes to ass up. Spent most of my early days working for a contract corp. Picked up a few tricks and trades. But they were always shuffling us around planet to planet. Different jobs and stuff. Few years of that, got thrown out, started drinking, after that I just stopped caring where I was."
"Parents? Family?" she asked, lifting a thin brow. Her damn eyes on me. I snorted a laugh, shaking my head with my snarky smile, "Don't know much about parents, never met 'em. I ain't had no family in years. Closest thing I got is a group of assholes always getting us into trouble." I kicked a small stone out of my way, sparing her a quick glance, "You?"
She took a breath, looking every other way but at me. "My mother left my father when I was a pup. Didn't bother to come back and get me. Maybe it's because I looked like him too much. I never really figured it out. He kept food on the table, gave me money to buy clothes once in a while. He didn't really know what to do with me. I don't think he was ready to be a dad. We just kinda did our own thing. He worked during the week, drank and slept on weekends. Didn't really notice if I was there or not most times."
I stared over and up at the hills above the beach, "So, you pretty much did what you wanted, whenever then?"
Angel nodded, flashing me a coy smile, "Probably the same as you did. Takes one to know one."
Yeah, she was right on that. Always hitting the nail on the head with her points. Both of us were riff raff, from different worlds. She probably had a rap sheet, I wondered what could be on it. Kinda excited me a little, thinking about it. Maybe she was thinking the same thing.
We stopped walking a little ways up the beach to a spot that gave us a good, solid vantage point. The wind was gusty as all hell that day. I remember her hair a hot mess, trying to keep it out of her face when we looked at each other. We held each other, chest to chest, my arms around her waistline, her hands resting on my neck, playing with my tribal necklace made from the metal teeth of a pissed off machination I had the fortune of tangling with some time ago. She stared at one tooth, turning the jagged alloy over front to back. I figured she was gonna ask about it, but she didn't. My curiosity led to me ask a question instead to break the silence.
"What are you looking to get out of this?"
"Hmm?"
"I dunno, like...this place. This world, this life. Real big picture shit. I think that's what people talk about. I don't fuckin' know." I half laughed, feeling uneasy. Why the fuck did I need to know? This, whatever it was between us, was just a temporary thing. It didn't fuckin' matter. Angel smiled, biting her lower lip, murring, "Nothing." I blinked, looked down at her, squinting a little, "Nothing? The fuck you mean, nothi-"
She put her finger to my lips, looked up at me, eyes to eyes. I realized that today was the first day she wasn't fucked up on that shit in her purse. She was actually sober as me. This was Angel at her most clearest. "Nothing. N-o-t-h-i-n-g." She whispered, touching her nose to mine. "This life...we don't get to keep anything. It all gets left behind. There is nothing awaiting us on the other side. It's all a game, we do our best to live as we want day to day, going through the same motions, wasting away until the curtain draws to a close. Then, it's over. Nothing. In the same way that nothing mattered when I was growing up, it'll be the same way when I go. So, I don't want anything."
THE FUCK KINDA BULLSHIT IS THAT??
I had no idea what to make of her. Maybe she was soft upstairs or something. Nah...that couldn't be it. As usual, my sympathetic manners shined at their very best. "Who the fuck hurt you?" I asked, very rhetorically, half laughing, half shaking my head. Angel shrugged her shoulders, sharing my smile, but there was something wrong inside her eyes, even if she pretended there was not. "Someone, who was something, once. Maybe twice. Maybe more times than I care to think back on. I've been there and done that. I'm over it."
We stared at each other a little longer, not saying anything, but feeling as if there was something that could be said. I fucked it up, as usual. "You're gonna miss me, when I'm gone." I said, flashing her my most candid smile.
She nodded, brushing her fingers across my black outlines marking my eyes. "I think so. Too bad I can't say the same for you."
I bit her. Right on the cheek. And neck. She liked it.
We rode back later that day. We rode around her town, taking in the sights. Wasn't much there but street after street of mom and pop shops. Antiques, groceries, post service, library, gun shop. Typical outback place. A little park for living units, commonly housed by low income folks. When we arrived back at the inn, there was a couple of guys standing out on the front porch. One was a pitbull, his white fur spotted with a few brown round patches. The other was a doberman. He stared at me an awful lot as we got off my bike. Angel took notice of the two, and handed me back my jacket. "I'll catch up, okay?" she said, making her way over to the pair. I took my jacket in hand, nodding slowly after her, "Yeah...see ya." I passed by them as I made my way up the steps. The doberman was still staring, the but the pitbull was caught up in conversation with Angel. Out of the corner of my eye I caught him passing her over a small bag, her handing some bills to him in turn. My sensitive hearing overhead their chatter. They wanted to know about me. Something in their tone said they didn't like anyone who wasn't local. Angel was dismissive, assuring them I was only around for a few days. They asked if they'd be seeing her later.
She said maybe.
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I took my dinner to the back of the diner, by the window. I didn't see Angel for a good part of an hour. That was plenty of time for me to start drinking the heavy stuff. Good, cause I was getting itchy anyway. By the time she arrived, I already had a strong buzz going. She sat down, a smile on her face. Her eyes were fucked up, like the first night I'd met her. Just like they had been yesterday over breakfast. They didn't look anything like they had on the beach. That clarity was half gone, I could tell. I spared her a quick look, but turned my eyes to the window again. Angel smiled, picking up a fork and starting to pry at some of the roast beef on her own plate, "How is it?" she asked, forking a piece into her mouth.
"Fine. Same shit you always have here. What were you expecting?"
She paused, chewing on her piece, narrowing her eyes with slight confusion, her smile half there. "I was just asking-"
"Well then, don't ask stupid fuckin' questions! You already know the fuckin' answer." I snapped, plunging the bottle of alcohol into my lips.
Angel stared at me silently, putting her fork down slowly. I glanced over at her, because that stare was starting to get on my nerves. "What?" I asked, raising a hand and the bottle to question. She looked at me in silence, her eyes carefully looking over my features. She raised a finger and waved it back and forth between the door and the table, "Did I miss something? You're a bit more of an ass than usual." I snorted, looking away, "Don't worry about. You won't have to deal with it much longer." She sat back in her chair, gritting her jawline together, a few people in the diner glancing over at us. "What's this about?" she asked, hushed. "Nothin'! Just having my fuckin' drink in peace is all." I answered again, a slight growl in my tone. My hairs even bristled on my arms. Angel tipped her head to the side, and held out her hand after some thought. "Can I have a sip?" I muttered another set of curses, but passed it over anyway.
Bitch hit me over the head with the bottle.
I hit the floor, seeing stars, from drink and the mother fuckin' pounding in my skull. I made it up with the help of a nearby chair, staggering this way and that. "The hell?!" I shouted at her. Angel had already gotten up and slung her purse on her shoulder. Her eyes were full of hot fury, the bottle spilled across the table, "DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING JUDGE ME, RAZE!" she shouted, her fangs showing, fire in her once placid eyes, "You of all fucking people, don't get to stand there and judge me! You don't know my story! You never fucking will!" She turned on her heels, striding fast for the front doors. I almost tumbled over again across another table, stuttering and snarling after her.
"YEAH? WELL FUCK YOU!"
"FUCK YOU!!"
"GOD DAMN JUNKIE!!"
"FUCKING DRUNK!!"
Oh, people were staring. The owner didn't seem impressed. They were kind enough to ask me if I needed to see a doctor. I guess I was bleeding a little. I shrugged them off with a little backhand action and told them I'd be fine, stomping my way up to my room for the night.
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You know, they really gotta do something about the locks in that place. Or the keys. I dunno.
I was still stewing in bed, laying there restlessly when the door opened an hour later. I reached for my weapon and gripped the piece tight in my palm, looking over my shoulder to see Angel standing there in there doorway. Her hair was a mess. Her eyes were moist. Cheeks had tear trails dried all up and down. Her lips were parted, like she was looking for something to say. I got out of bed, put the piece on the stand. I stood up and faced her, thinking for something to say. I'm always a smart mouth, but words failed me this time. I was still pissed, sure. But seeing her like this, didn't feel right.
Because I had done this.
I had made her cry.
So why the fuck did I care?
We didn't say anything. She reached back and slipped the door latch to the lock position. I grabbed her. She grabbed me. We hit the wall, we hit the floor.
I don't remember how many times we kissed. Seriously, I don't. I've never felt that many things all at once. I don't think she had either.
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I don't, for the life of me, remember how we made it back into bed. The moon was overhead in the window, the only source of illumination for us. Angel was still crying. She clung to my fur, fingers curled tight into my red hairs. I was staring at her ears. That weird little piercing in the upright corner had my attention. A little star, I think. Nothing fancy. Just a cute, little fuckin' star. It was stare at that or think about things. I'd rather not think about things right now.
Her voice spoke up, whispering at me jaw, "Don't go...not yet..."
"..."
"...Raze?"
"...I'll stay...just a little longer...I promise."
"..."
"...Fuckin' head hurts."
"Snrk!!"
"Kinda deserved it though..."
"...Yeah, you did."
"Gonna have big fuckin' bump there tomorrow."
"...Probably."
She leaned up and kissed my cheek, murring, "...Thank you."
"...Fuck you." I hissed, softly.
God damn bitch.