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Arnek the blue bat describes a normal day of his life in Viletopia, ranging from pissing matches to eating at local restaurants serving animal waste for dinner.

Today, we learn about his friends, get to see how he deals with a constipated rhino, and how he becomes attracted to a burly walrus just by hearing his loud ass blasts. This is a Viletopia story, which means LOTS OF SCAT situation.

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Diary of a Vile Chiroptera

12:35 p.m. Thursday

Work was always good in this city. Nothing better than guarding a museum full of disgusting artifacts that would make a corpse get on all fours and reveal its bile to the world. It was child's play really. No one was actually stupid enough to try and rob this place. ...Well, I take that back; a small band of criminals DID try to rob this place. All of them left here with a new foul odor in their fur. I could still remember that coon I farted on until he blacked out. What was his name again? Caleb? Ah, like it mattered; those dumbasses were in prison, hopefully for a lifetime. I gotta admit they were brave to try and steal a toilet made out of 28 karat gold out of a city full of stinky furries. Hell, the fact they even made it into this city without vomiting was amazing. Hmph! Goddamn tourists. They can't handle their own stink. Though, I suppose I wouldn't blame them. This IS Viletopia after all. And a stinky blue bat such as me wouldn't exactly "fit in" with any other town. Well, there's Coproville, but I'll stick with Viletopia for now. Anyway, I was doing nothing but resting on the ceiling, my wings closed together as I snored softly. There wasn't anyone else in the building but a few other workers and the manager. After eating breakfast this morning I inspected the hallways of the museum and, knowing damn well no one is stupid to try and rip this place off again, I went to sleep. I hadn't gotten very much sleep since last night after spending time with Greizzer and my friend Iltach. That orange bull Greizzer was like me but more muscular...and definitely a helluva lot more aggressive in bed. But he is a bull after all. A large, sexy stinky bull with hands that made wonderful fists...fists that felt so soothing when they're shoved up my ass.

...But uh, I'm just babbling now. My other friend Iltach is this bulky gorilla who went around wearing brown cargo pants and this t-shirt with a banana on the back. It wasn't because he loved the taste of bananas, a stereotype everyone thought of primates, but it was because his flatulence had a foul after-odor of rotten bananas and his scat had an after-taste of it too. Yes, yes I am speaking from experience. Like many others in this city he had a strong fetish for scat, and was very fond of soiling himself. But it was alright, as soiling was natural in animal nature. To me, anyway. When I was about twelve or so, I went exploring inside of a forest in the middle of the night, flapping my wings through the air, until I heard something growling in the distance and went down to investigate. As I was walking, I heard the growling intensify, followed by loud bursting bubbles, like they were making a comical noises when they were pushed out of something by force. I knew it was flatulence back then, and someone was having a massive bowel movement. Despite the odor, I kept following the strange growling noises until I heard something squish and felt something gooey in-between my toes. I could tell by the smell what it was but, I didn't feel even remotely disgusted. Not one single bit. I just stared at my foot until I noticed a large bulge in my pants, a "boner" as my friends called it. The growling grew deeper and before I knew it, I was deafened by a fart so loud it scared all the avians in the trees away. More curious than ever, I investigated and ran down the path of poop to find a giant creature who just took a titanic shit. Seriously, there was shit everywhere! And the creature who just finished pumping out excrement was some weird beast; I couldn't tell. It wasn't a macro, but with all the shit it let out, I thought it was. Maybe it was a gnoll or hyena, or some taur creature. To this day, I don't know. But I do know that no normal animal can poop out enough excrement to fill five city buses and have more leftover to bury a taxi cab in it. I wanted to say something to the creature, but before I could it was beginning to walk away; whatever it was, it was repulsed by the bowel movement it just had, enough to scare itself away. So there I was, surrounded by gnoll or hyena or taur shit, enough to suffocate me if it came crashing down over my body. I stared at it with a sly grin before I walked forward and stepped into the small boulders that were resting beside it. I let out a soft sigh, an ecstatic sigh, as I wiggled my toes and felt the shit on my toes. I didn't play with it or eat any of it or gave myself a Dirty Sanchez; I wasn't into scat much...back then anyway; now is a different story. But ever since that night out in the forest, I just find myself turned on by shit. Gross, I know, but everyone who has a fetish starts somewhere.

"Arnek!" shouted someone from a distance.

I didn't reply as I continued to snore away.

"ARNEK!!"

I snorted and shook my head, unfolding my wings and stretching them out as I looked down at my manager.

"What?"

"Sleeping on the job again?"

"C'mon boss, no one's gonna rob this museum. And if they do they'll get a face-full of bat footpaws."

I never really liked my manager. He doesn't shower. He doesn't change his clothes. He farts in public VERY loudly. Even better, was the time my partner caught him masturbating in public. However, he wasn't in Viletopia; he was in Pennsylvania, a state that I'm sure says fapping in public is a lewd act that could result in prison time. The thing is he doesn't like scat. The furries around him adore it; in fact the very museum I work at is dedicated to that. So sure, he likes being a slob and passing gas so foul a restaurant (not in Viletopia, obviously) could be cleared within minutes, second if he has diarrhea and sharts himself. But he loathes scat, like many others in the world. It's funny though, cause he's perfectly fine chatting about watersports and being pumped with air until he cums and his belly bursts and he lets out a giant fart. Ah well, to each and his own.

"That's not the point Arnek! If someone tries to pull a heist on this store again-"

"Besides that toilet made of gold, why the hell would anyone want to steal anything from here?"

"Why would you get an erection from walking around in your own poo?"

See that's what I'm talking about. I flew down from the ceiling and walked over to the manager.

"I get it Dave, I get it. You want me to be alert 24/7 in case someone robs this place yet again."

"Good."

"It's not like you're gonna fire me if I don't though-" I murmured.

"What was that?!"

"You wanna get in a pissing match later today?" I changed the subject.

"Meh, sure why not?"

Lucky me, it's very easy to divert a topic away from what the grey German Shepard's discussing.

"While we're on the subject, where's your partner Casey?"

I shrugged. "He told me he was sick, suffering from...constipation?"

"Lemme get this straight: your partner hasn't been in for the past four days because he's constipated?"

"It's serious. He told me he's tried three different brands of laxatives-liquid and solid-and he's been eating lots of fiber and he still can't defecate."

"Whether or not you're lying to me is irrelevant; what is relevant is that you need to bring him in now."

"Whatever you say boss. If we're lucky he'll lose his bowels all over the floor and we'll have another display of the city's biggest lump of poo!" I said, smiling.

"Yes, as if this city doesn't have enough shit in it."

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I was riding around in my car, gliding along the dirty concrete street inside of my Lexus LS. Nothing classy; I think it's one of the earlier model sedans. It's tan with luxury leather seats and enough room to house six furries. The only problem is that it smells and looks like it was made in the 50s. The paint on the outside of the car was beginning to peel, courtesy of some of the dragons I've run into who literally peeled the paint away with their malodorous fire breath. The inside always smelled like the occupants who were inside the car, so it just so happened that when I was riding around that day it smelled like stinky, scat-ridden feet. Actually, the car smells like feet in general; Casey, after I bought my fresh-smelling car a few months back, removed his shoes so he could give his footpaws some air. In the process, the stench in my car is riddled with that rhinoceros's feet. It also smells like urine, mostly because of all the canines who love to use my car as a bathroom. Not that I mind, since now if anyone asks I can say I say my car finally got washed. There's also the fact that my friends and I intentionally wet ourselves if the mood strikes. It's amazing though, because my car doesn't smell like flatulence or scat at all unless someone soils themselves or passes gas.

Anyway, I continued to drive down the avenue, watching some of the furries eat their chocolate-dropping salads and cum-flavored hot dogs and suck on Popsicles shaped like a dildo. I sighed heavily before a mighty blast from my ass disturbed the tranquility of the car. I didn't fart intentionally, for once, but I ate a burrito for breakfast, one that had jalapeño peppers and pickles dumped in Limburger cheese inside. Peppers themselves give me gas, and I figured the combination would unsettle anyone's stomach. It was odd though, because I felt embarrassed after breaking wind. Usually I smile or sniff the flatus and sigh triumphantly, but after the one I let out in the car, I looked left and right, hoping no one heard the disturbance or smelled the eggy odor. Perhaps it was because the fart snuck up to my anus out of nowhere like a cheetah ready to pounce; I couldn't do anything to stop it or let it out on my own terms. The windows were already rolled down but the stench of the city mixed with the smell, so even I couldn't tell what the gas smelled like. I sighed again after my worries were lifted, and looked down to see I had a boner. Old habits die hard I suppose. I continued to drive, taking a left down the road until the skyscrapers diminished and I arrived to a cul-de-sac. I parked my tan Lexus in the driveway of Casey's house, got out my car, and walked over to the front door. I knocked a couple of times and shouted my name before someone huffed a few times and opened up the door. It was Casey. He wasn't naked, but wearing a pair of dark blue polka-dot boxers that had a few stains on them. The yellow rhinoceros didn't even greet me properly because he was too busy holding his stomach and groaning. After the door opened he just backed away and let me inside, where I closed the door. His house looked like any other in Viletopia: couch, TV, table with few decorations, kitchen, stains on the carpet and other pieces of furniture, and of course a rank odor.

"You gotta help me Arnek."

"Damn, you really are constipated."

What I told my manager earlier was a lie to explain his absence. I didn't think it was true. Casey collapsed to the floor on his back, huffing loudly and moaning everytime his stomach grumbled. I saw empty boxes of laxatives and all sorts of foods that had teeth marks in them, ranging from eggplant to prunes to apples, and even cans of beans. Whatever had fiber in it, Casey had eaten. And they weren't working. Now, Casey is fat-obese even-but his stomach was so rotund that if I had flicked it with my finger it would've exploded and covered me with his entrails and digested foods.

"I haven't...I haven't been able to use the bathroom in nearly two months now! If I don't defecate I'm gonna explode with shit!!"

"Well, what do you want me to do?"

The yellow rhino groaned again, letting out a small fart.

"You-you gotta find a way to get all the scat out. Find more laxatives; shove your hands up my ass-anything!! I just want to use the bathroom!"

I scratched my chin. "Flip over."

The flabby rhinoceros obeyed and rolled over, letting out more gas in my face as he pressed his stomach against the rug. He pulled down his underpants and showed me his bare yellow ass cheeks. Dirty, stinky, and full of crumbly scat, Casey's ass was like mine, only yellow and not blue. If you can handle the crumbs his ass is very nice for rimming.

"So, let me ask you, what haven't you tried yet?"

"Besides having someone dig the shit out with their claws, nothing, I've taken laxatives-orally and anally-eaten tons of fiber and bran, I've eaten had two enemas!"

"...But no one's dug their claws in your ass yet?"

"Nope."

I smiled leeringly and began to take off my pants. "Anyone uh, have sex with you yet?"

"How would that help me?"

As my pants dropped to the rug, I stared at Casey for a while and the idea suddenly went away from my mind. Ah well, I already had my pants down so I left 'em down so my balls could breathe. I kneeled down to the rhino's anus and sniffed it a few times before licking the sides of his inner ass cheeks, murring softly as my tongue started to scrape off the dried crumbs of rhino dung.

"Arnek, what are you doing?"

I didn't answer, preferably because I was enjoying myself too much and because I knew this would calm his bowels eventually. My saliva and tongue were acting like lube, smoothing out his rectum walls so they could expand and provide a safe passage for the scat to come out of. As I wiggled my tongue deeper into the anus I couldn't help but notice it felt lumpy and swollen. I took my tongue out and moved backwards, rubbing my chin.

"Huh. I think I see the problem Casey. Your rectum walls feel swollen. It must be why you scat is having trouble coming out."

"What are you gonna-AAH!!"

I jammed my hand into the rhino's asshole instantly and started rifting through his rectum, sticking my arm and wing far into his anus. It was very hard to do though; his rectum was more swollen then I thought, meaning that I couldn't get up to the lumps of scat in time. I lied on the floor with my arm up his ass for nearly three minutes until I felt something hard and squishy. Casey was still groaning and acting like his bowels were lit ablaze, but soon enough, I felt more lumpy shit around my wing and arm. It was starting to come out. I quickly moved my arm out, shaking some of the poop off.

"All right, now sit back and let your bowels do the work."

Casey grunted very loudly and tried to force out the scat, but he sighed heavily and began to pant once more.

"I still feel clogged. Are you sure this is working?"

"I could take a look."

"What does that mean?"

I didn't answer again and simply pushed my muzzle inside the rhino's anus. My eyes were closed and I was murring, sticking my tongue in and out as I began to rim my partner, moistening the rectum walls even more in order to oil the walls and help the scat come out. Casey didn't hear me shout out "Push" but I knew he started once I felt something thick fall on my snout. I jerked my head out of his anus, shaking my head and almost sneezing. There was shit on my nose and face, but instead of trying to wipe it off, I simply licked off what I could, and then used my fingers to gather the rest of it. Casey grunted very loudly with fists made and began to push. Some furries would compare it to childbirth, but at least in childbirth, life is brought into the world. When you take a dump, all you're doing is giving the plants rancid fertilizer. Sure, they're both gross after a furry finishes, but hey. My ears perked as I heard the scat breaking through the asshole, ready to be exposed to the world. It's hard to describe what it sounds like once excrement begins to break through the anus but you can definitely tell what the sound is, something like a soft object breaking. Casey lifted his tail and I saw dark brown, mud colored rhino shit squeeze through the asshole very slowly. He farted twice and soon enough, the log was starting to fall out his ass and onto the rug. His butthole widened a few inches in diameter and more brown dung started to fall out. It came very slowly at first, easily plopping its way onto the floor before more followed. Then Casey grunted even louder than before and a large quantity was beginning to come out. It wasn't all just one piece but it sure did look like it. Everytime it came out, the rhino would fart a little; the excrement itself looked like brown toothpaste being squeezed out of the bottle. One long curvy log came out, followed by another immediately afterwards when the previous piece fell. I could identify the food that the chubby rhino was eating-lettuce, crushed pepper flakes, corn-it was all there. The smell of it was like stale burning meat, but the more scat that came out, the stronger the odor became, and the more humid the living room was.

From that point on, I just watched him go. It was perspicuous that I was enjoying the show with the massive erection I had. I didn't paw off or grope my balls; I merely stared as my dick occasionally throbbed and let out a little precum. There's nothing better than being surrounded by the wastes that we animals expel from our anus and bladder. Strange and difficult to understand, but hey, that's just how we Viletopians are. I moved a little closer to the rhino from behind so I could stare directly at his fat ass and all the shit he was shooting out of it. He was still in pain, grunting and moaning and trying to relive himself. Me? I was too busy trying not to indulge my fetish. I could've taken a walk inside the scat or played around with it or ate some of it but I felt the need to give my friend some space. Of course, I had my pants off and a boner...

"GODDAMN!! I never knew I had so much...URGH!!!...buildup inside of me."

Well over ten pounds of the shit was resting on the rug, and more of it was quickly coming out, enough to baffle me even. But then, something amazing happened: Casey stopped pooping. It looked like he was done defecating until his stomach growled dangerously loud and he let out a fart so gruff some of the poop was blown away. Smelled pretty rank too, like the time I used the floor at the museum when I had the trots. I put on a good show though. The museum was open at the time and the furries thought I was one of the exhibits, so they all watched me take a watery dump on the floor. Some of them even threw me money because of how well I pooped. Anyway, Casey grunted again once his belly rebelled against him and I noticed his asshole expanded even wider than before. I stared inside, compelled to touch or examine whatever was going to come out. Something huge began to break its way into the living room, a gargantuan mass of rhino shit. It was creeping out the anus, slowly but surely. From what I could tell it was almost a foot or two in diameter. I didn't know what indigestible food Casey ate, but if it was possible for someone like him to let that out, well... The log came out even slower than before, stopping before it was out in the air and over the pile of poop. Eventually, after intense squeezing and grunting and pushing, it was exposed. It looked like a cracked brown cylinder with various food particles on it. I stepped out the way so I wouldn't be in the line of fire, and so I could look at Casey's face. He still looked like he was in pain, but also like he was enjoying himself. Somewhere in that tightening face was a grin. I could tell. The long log of shit plopped on top of the other chunks with a loud squish and began to grow larger and larger as it shot out of his asshole, and I grew harder.

The poop stopped again and I heard the rhino's stomach growl very loudly. Casey moaned and farted some more before he got on all fours and looked down at the rug. His arms and legs were shaking and his belly looked like it deflated or grew smaller. I heard more waste gurgling through his bowels and got even harder as it was about to come out. Watching with anticipation, I waited for the rhinoceros to let it all out. He inhaled sharply before his stomach gurgled one last time and the giant log of shit shot out of his body like a racecar. Immediately after it came out, he started sharting all over the places, staining the rug and walls and front door with little watery chunks of scat. A few other hefty boulders of shit came out as well, but it looked like Casey was finished, and his bowels were purging the rest of the waste. With one final shart, he sighed loudly with relief and began to pant. I couldn't help but stare at the giant log that came out though. I'm not good at measuring, but it looked to be about seven to nine feet long, a few feet in diameter, and two or three feet tall. And on top of all that, he had the rest of the toothpaste shit lying underneath it all, plus the excess watery scat lying on the walls and windows.

I grabbed my cock, and before I could even start doing what I do best, I cummed all over Casey's face, hitting him on the cheek and part of his right eye. The rhino shouted out loud and cocked his head over to me, looking at the grin spread across my face and the penis resting in my left hand.

"Little warning next time?"

"I'm sorry! It's-it's just I've never seen so much all at once! So much dung...so long; it's taller than I am if I lay down on the floor next to it."

Casey got off his knees and stood up, turning around so he could look at the work of art he just made. It was amazing though, because he didn't even look like he lost more than four pounds, and he just shat out well over fifty pounds on the floor.

"Holy shit. That is a lot; I can't believe THAT was in my colon all this time!"

"We gotta do something with this. We can't just let this lie in the dark; we gotta show it to someone."

I snapped my fingers. "The museum! We could put it as a display for the city's largest log of scat from a rhino!"

"Don't we have that?"

"No, that was from a macro anyway; you're a normal sized furry. Plus, this is a log of shit, not a hunk of it. Big difference."

"Really?"

"No, but the public's not gonna give a damn. Can't have too much shit now, can we?"

As we began to grab the log of shit, Casey's stomach began to growl.

"You still aren't done?"

"Uh, actually I'm hungry. Can we get something to eat first?"

I looked over at the mess Casey made, before turning my head back at the rhino and raising an eyebrow. For as long as I've know him, he always seemed to be hungry 24/7, even after taking huge dumps and letting out tons of vomit. I remember the time he puked his guts out after eating too many spoiled mushrooms, and when he finished he started eating moldy bagels. I'm starting to wonder if he has a tapeworm, but if he did, he wouldn't be so fat. Guess it's just in his nature.

"Are you serious?"

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3:47 p.m.

We didn't go straight to the café, which made Casey antsy and agitated. I couldn't risk something happening to the log of scat so we took it to the museum immediately, which made the manager almost faint from the size and smell of it. But after we told him how much money we'd rake in, he soon recovered and had other maintenance workers put it on display. Afterwards we went out to lunch and picked up a few friends, then headed to the café. Casey was wearing his boxers now, and a pair of red camouflage shorts. He didn't have his shoes on so he propped his smelly footpaws on the dash so he could stink up the car some more. While we were on our way to the café, Casey leaned to the side and let out a giant fart, waving his hand next to his rear in a way to spread the gas all around the car. All of us either giggled or sniffed the gas deeply before murring. I countered his attack by letting out a rancid fart myself, flapping my wings so everyone could smell it. The two of us spent the entire car ride passing gas while Greizzer and Rattek sat in the back. I'm still debating whether Rattek is a rat or a mouse, but I know she's some kind of rodent. She was a little pudgy, not noticeably, and she had the appearance of a rat, and dark gray fur. However her fur isn't shagging or shedding or messy and I know she doesn't groom herself. She's not attractive, according to a popular high school glossy girl, but I'm sure even she could score a boyfriend in Furtopia, if they ignored her body odor. She usually wears a red hoody and blue baggy pants and no shoes. I'm not sure what she's into, but she seems to tolerate the food in this city, and she has no problem pissing her pants or breaking wind. Rather amazing, actually, as she can fart louder than Casey at times, and the smell is terrible. I heard from a few friends that she's into reptiles with multiple cocks, preferably those with piercings or barbs. She also supposedly likes to pleasure herself while watching CBT porn vids, but these are all just rumors.

We arrived to the café in the middle of the city, a place called "Greasy Shits." Despite the name the restaurant didn't sell many meals involving fecal matter, but a lot of the food was greasy or runny. The place ranged from hamburgers to chili-scat-fries to garden salads to chicken fried in rabbit cum, so there was food for everyone. As anyone could've guessed the place was notorious for fat furs (like Casey) but furries like me didn't have to worry about having a heart attack. The place wasn't clean though. You'd be better off eating outside and risk a bird pooping on your face than eating inside and risk having a furry walk over and rub their balls on your food, which has happened before to Greizzer.

"Oh yes! I love eating at Greasy Shits!" said Casey, smiling widely.

"Let's eat outside though."

"Outside? I hear there are a lot of gryphons with the trots flying in the air today." said Rattek.

"So?"

"I've tasted gryphon poop guys; it is NOT satisfying."

"Yeah, but out of the four of us, you're the only one here who'd avoid consuming feces." I said.

"That's not true! I haven't seen Greizzer eat it before!"

"I make my own fudge Popsicles."

There was no need to emphasize the word "fudge" or imply what he meant. In Viletopia, the word "fudge" usually means the latter definition.

"Oh, right. Guess that explains why your breath stinks so much."

"And yours doesn't?"

"Last time I checked chicken or fish breath smells better than shit breath."

"Well, if you wanna eat inside you can Rattek, but don't blame me if someone seasons your food with cum."

The rodent sighed. "Okay. Guess it wouldn't hurt."

And with that, we sat outside next to a couple of bushes. We waited a couple of minutes before ordering our meals. Greizzer disappeared into the building to gather the food while we stayed outside. Casey and Rattek started chatting with each other while I simply looked at the furries in the area. There was a nude tiger flirting with a naked yellow mouse from behind, and the mouse looked like he was masturbating pretty hard. To my right was a cetacean who was stuffing his face with chili-scat-fries. In front of me I saw a grayish-brown walrus with his back turned. He was wearing bright red shorts with floral design, kinda like beach shorts. I wasn't sure who he was talking to, but he stopped in the middle of the conversation so he could lean over and rip a gigantic one. He didn't sigh or waft the smell away or even sniff it; he just broke wind and continued talking. I couldn't help but smile and Rattek and Casey looked at the walrus and laughed, along with the surrounding furries. Trust me when I tell you it was loud enough to crack a mirror. And at that moment I spent my time fixating on the furry.

"Fantasizing again?"

"Whuh? Oh uh, no, no."

"I see you staring at the walrus back there." Rattek teased.

"I can't admire a guy with strident flatus?"

"What about me?! You just saw me crap out a log of poop over seven feet long!"

"Yeah, and I was digging my muzzle up your butt, wasn't I?"

"...You said you were trying to help my constipation."

"I multi-task; you should know this by now. Besides...that walrus does have a sexy ass from what I can tell..."

I started staring at the walrus again until he rose from his chair and began to walk into the café. He promptly let out another giant fart as he got near the door, not showing any indication that it was even him. Everyone outside heard him and turned around to look at the walrus as he walked inside, still showing no pride or embarrassment. He was just carrying on his day like any normal Viletopian, as though his lower bodily functions didn't impact his life at all. The furries who heard him either smiled widely or tried to get a strong whiff of the gas. Almost simultaneously, Greizzer came out of the café with the tray of food. He put it down on the table and we instantly started to gobble down the food. Greizzer had four hot dogs with cum on them-horse semen, once again, Rattek was busy eating a seemingly healthy but smelly dish, a salad with spoiled Brussels spouts and chopped pieces of chicken that smelled like someone rubbed their smelly toes on them. Casey was eating way too many Deer Dung Burgers, four if I remember, and he had those chili-cheese-scat-fries on the side. I personally had the gyro with Halloumi cheese and lamb meat, a dish I picked up from the Iron Chef tournament a while ago. However I made sure that Greizzer told the workers to replace the Halloumi with Limburger, and being Greasy Shits, they fried the lamb meat in batter as opposed to grilling it. I didn't mind, as lamb meat is lamb meat and it'll taste good either way. We all had lemonade to drink, with the addition of husky urine added to it. All of us were noisily slurping down the dishes and chatting or talking with our mouths full occasionally, but I was rather quiet. I couldn't help but stare at that damn walrus again. All that bulk and that thick moustache and those shorts with floral patters...and that goddamn ass of his.

"Still daydreaming about that walrus?" asked Greizzer.

"Shut up!"

"If you think he's sexy, go ask him out or something. What's the worst that could happen?" asked Casey.

"I'm uh..."

Rattek chuckled. "The little rodent with wings is shy?"

"No, not that. It's just...do you guys think I'm a whore?"

I've always been self-conscious about that. Despite how friendly I am, I always seem to be eager to get into a furry's pants. I mean, I am friends with Greizzer, and Iltach and Casey and other furries, but at the same time, I've fucked 'em all. Hell, I was busy trying to rim Casey when he was constipated. And then there's that walrus...that sexy walrus whose name I didn't even know whose face I've barely caught a glimpse at. I just wanted to be in his flatulent ass until my heart gave out.

"Definitely."

"Kinda."

"Not really."

"You guys noticed that I've been having sex with a lot of stinky furries lately, and making friends with them? Even you guys-I've had sex with everyone at this table!"

"You haven't banged me yet." Rattek snorted.

"You don't have a penis. If I was intoxicated I'd probably be okay with fucking a hermaphrodite or a shemale. But as it is I'll stick with guys."

"Now that you mention it that does seem kinda true. I mean, you noticed me after you saw me eating a bunch of Shit-bars, and a week later we banged each other. Now we're friends."

"I don't think you're a whore. I just think you have a lot of fuck buddies." Casey pointed out.

"What's the difference?" I asked.

"Whores sell themselves to any furry they can find for the sole purpose of fucking them, even if they have to bribe the furry with money. Fuck buddies are furries who make friends with a furry who wants to fuck them, and they stay friends. See if you ditched all of us the second after you banged us you'd be a major douchebag whore."

"Oh. So I just have a lot of fuck buddies?"

"A LOT, of fuck buddies." Rattek pointed out.

"I don't see why you can't make that guy over there another one." said Greizzer.

I exhaled. "Yeah, yeah you're right."

"You might wanna gargle before you talk to him though."

"I wanna talk to the guy, not make him pass out. Gargling with raw sewage might do just that."

"You're the one with the nickname 'Bat Breath.' How else will you live to that title?"

"True. There's no way anyone in this city can clean themselves so I know he has no problem with halitosis or body odor."

I took another big bite of the gyro while Casey finished his last burger and gulped loudly. He burped out loud and smelled the stench he expelled, the belch having the stale odor of morning breath and deer feces. Rattek was also finished with her meal, and she let out a strong accumulation of gas from her ass. Like the walrus she didn't seem to give any indication that she even broke wind. Her face was nonchalant and the only thing I saw was her tail wag. I looked back at the walrus and saw him rise from his chair so he could walk over to the wall and take a piss. It was a common thing really. After eating a large meal, we walk over to a spot near the restaurant and use the bathroom, or in some cases the trash can. The walrus went over to the wall and sighed heavily before he unzipped his shorts and began to empty his bladder.

"So you gonna fuck him now or what?"

"Shut up Greizzer."

Nevertheless I got off the chair and walked over to the aquatic creature. He was urinating all over the wall, over a long trail of shit that other furries had used a few hours ago. I exhaled and slowly approached the walrus, ready to engage in conversation.

"Sup?"

The walrus didn't reply or open his mouth. All he did was blink and resume pissing. I was going to greet him again but another cacophonous gas bubble exploded from his rectum, sounding like a bomb or grenade going off. If I was standing behind him, it surely would've felt like the impact of a grenade exploding in front of me. I didn't say hi again or greeted him; I simply leaned backwards and sniffed the fart deeply, almost pressing my nose against the seat of his shorts. The walrus shifted his eyes over to me to see what I was doing, but then he shrugged and continued to whiz. I was about to pee on the wall next to him, but my pants suddenly became warm and as I looked down, I realized my bladder had suddenly began to empty itself. It was like the time I farted in the car on my way over to Casey's house. The urine snuck up on me outta nowhere and I didn't even have time to stop myself from pissing before my pants started to become wet. Soon enough the urine was dripping down on my footpaws, washing away some of the dried dung that had been resting there for a few days. The walrus turned his head to look at me and I laughed nervously. I'm certain he has no trouble with peeing himself in public, but the way I presented myself to him made me look like the timid boyfriend who finally got the courage to ask someone out, only to throw up all over the furry before he can get a single word out. The walrus raised an eyebrow and stared at my pants; I was still pissing myself! By now I thought I would've stopped but it just kept going!

"Ah...Coors Light...it uh, goes right through me." I said awkwardly.

The walrus blinked again and turned back to his urinating while I stood there feeling even more discomfit, and still wetting my trousers, creating a small, stinky yellow puddle underneath me. Eventually, both of us stopped peeing and he turned back around to look at me.

"You need to gargle with raw sewage." he said in a gruff voice, before retreating to his seat.

In Viletopia, that's like a human telling another human being he has bad breath and is in need of a serious bottle of mouthwash. I frowned and walked back over to my table, where Rattek was busy chuckling to herself.

"Your breath not stinky enough for him?"

"SHUT UP!!"

_____________________________________________________________________________________

8:29 p.m.

So after my shift ended, I said goodbye to Casey and the other workers and started stalking-observing the walrus in the air. Lucky for me, the walrus was still very flatulent, and I could smell his fishy B.O. and clam-scented flatus from the air. Murring loudly and getting another erection, I swooped down stealthily and began to approach him from behind. He walked over to the porch of his house and took the keys out of his pocket. Before he walked inside, his stomach growled gutturally and he laughed evilly to himself, sticking out his ass a little. I promptly got on my knees so my nose was right near the seat of his shorts.

"Oh yeah, here comes a big one." he said to himself.

He let out silent air first, but then sputtering bubbles-ones sounding like they came from an elephant or some mammal blowing bubbles underwater-started to shoot out, all of which reeked heavily of seafood or clams or chowder. I opened my mouth to taste it and smiled widely as the gas crept into my orifices. He grunted and the fart suddenly became louder and wetter, but still bubbly. Not exactly like he was sharting himself, but all he had to do was let out some more bubbles that reeked of shit in order to do that, sort of like the ones Casey let out in his house. He farted for quite some time before exhaling and sniffing deeply, admiring the odor.

"Ah, lovely. Smells like my colon is clean and healthy tonight!"

He sniffed twice again and groaned a little, waving a hand behind his shorts.

"I probably should lighten up on the Bile flavored chips though. Smelling throw up out of my ass is NOT normal."

"Hi!"

The walrus yelped and jumped backwards, falling on the ground and breathing heavily.

"I was wondering what smelled like a sewer. What the hell are you doing here? Better yet, who are you?"

"My uh, my name's Arnek. You remember that blue bat who wet himself back at Greasy Shits?"

"Oh, that guy. I see you took my advice."

"Yes. So um...can we uh, talk?"

"About what?"

"...Y'know, stuff."

"Hmph. Why do I get the feeling I know where this is going?"

"Where what is going?"

"You want to fuck me even though you barely know me and only are attracted to my stinky buttocks, right?"

"..."

"Unless you wanted something else to tell me?"

"Okay, fine, I'll admit it: I want to have sex with you, mostly because of your burly appearance and your loud, rambunctious farts. And yes, I want to have sex with you because you smell like squid-guts and month old clam chowder. And yes, I want to have sex with you-"

"Get to the 'but' part."

"You do seem friendly and tough at the same time, like a bouncer or bodyguard. Even in Viletopia, some furries laugh at me when I pee myself in public. Although I am very offended at what you said about my breath."

"I was trying to help you out; all the furries I know have breath that smells forty times stronger than yours."

At that point I felt like an amateur, or a "noob" as all those nerds and internet bloggers and trolls say.

"Oh. Well, thank you."

"Because I know which way this is going, I'm just gonna say, no. We're not having sex tonight or going on a date."

"Aww..." I whined.

"But instead, maybe you should catch me at this studio out in Grunge Cineplex in a few days. We make these uh, really dirty porn/fetish movies and it's very easy to do. It ranges from a fivesome where all the furries have barbs, or just having someone film you taking a dump on the floor. Either way you make money, and probably get to have some sex in the process. And all the filming is hosted on a private Viletopian channel, and a website called ShitTube. If you want to, you can also find me at the giant face-sitting competition we're having soon, I think I'm gonna participate in it."

I suddenly perked up and smiled widely. "If you put it that way, then I'll definitely meet you again."

"You should bring your friends along too. I'm sure the bull could use his horns as a crafty dildo."

"Possibly. Thank you for the offer!"

"I'll see you later then."

And with that, I jumped into the air and began to flap my way home.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

12:35 a.m.

I didn't do much when I got home besides eating a can of baked beans and chili. Like always, I would walk inside and take a deep breath of the surroundings, taking in the exuberating odor that filled my nostrils. I sighed calmly and took two steps inside, stepping in two piles of shit I left that morning before leaving to work. Treading around with scat on my soles, I went into the kitchen and made dinner, eating it while sitting on the living room sofa. It was a personal heirloom, as my family called it. A sofa that survived being pissed on for the last three generations of my family tree. The smell was becoming noxious now, but still invigorating and I would always "wash it out" from time to time. Anyway, after eating dinner, I started watching a few comedy channels, passing gas from time-to-time due to the beans. Surprisingly I didn't paw off that night, but I certainly was horny, still unable to put the walrus out of my mind. I went upstairs and into my room, taking off my clothes and breaking some more wind, scratching my plump ass cheeks and cracking my neck. Then I hopped into bed, filling my nostrils with the stink coming from my soggy bed sheets, and went to sleep, thinking about how the next few days would turn out.