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Chapter 13: Of Dogs and Rabbits

Jason looked at Ellie in disbelief, "What do you mean the suspect is dead? How?"

"Tom said they found him this morning. He had hanged himself in his cell overnight."

Jason shook his head, stunned, "How could they let something like that happen? Did

Fitzie say anything else?"

"No, he didn't want to talk long in case someone overheard him talking to me. He agreed

to come to the Indian restaurant this evening. We're meeting him at six thirty."

Jason nodded dumbly and sat at his desk. After he had recovered from the shock, he

went and filled his mug with coffee at Mole's Mugs and grabbed the daily Maplesburg Gazette at

a shop on the way back. He spent the rest of the morning reading.

Around noon, a female dachshund in a pinstripe black jacket--a Mrs. Olivia Clark--

came to the office to hire them to find out whether her husband was cheating on her. Jason

didn't much enjoy this kind of marital strife case, but they paid the bills. Her husband was a

Scottish terrier named Reginald. In the picture she provided, he was wearing a grayish green

tweed jacket, and she was wearing a long, flowing white dress. He worked at Garmann Brothers

Bank downtown and had been working late hours recently. They accepted the case.

The rest of the day was uneventful. At six, they left to meet Fitzie at the Indian

restaurant. The restaurant was located on the first floor of an old five-story warehouse that had

been renovated for apartments. The sign above the door said India Palace and featured a

painting of Ganesha. Inside, there were several rectangular, wooden tables with two to six

wooden seats a piece; around half of them were occupied with a wide assortment of species.

The walls were painted and orangey gold whilst the floor was varnished wood. Broad cone-

shaped lamps hung from the unfinished ceiling and lit the restaurant with a soft, warm glow. The

rich scent of spices including turmeric, fenugreek, and cardamom filled the restaurant. Jason

scanned the room for Fitzie, but it appeared the ferret was yet to arrive.

They were greeted by a tufted titmouse in a red bowtie, "Good evening, folks. How

many?" she peeped.

"Three, our friend should be joining us shortly," Jason answered.

She bobbed her head and led them to a table with four seats. Jason and Ellie sat next to

each other, leaving the other side for Fitzie. Jason scanned the menu while he waited for Fitzie

to arrive, deciding on the chicken tikka masala as his entrée. Fitzie arrived several minutes later.

Jason saw the hob, who was wearing a heather gray dress shirt, enter the restaurant and

waved him over.

"Hi, Fitzie, glad you could make it. Things must be a mess over there right now,

considering what happened."

"You could say that," Fitzie replied. He pulled out the chair and sat across from Jason.

"How are the two of you though? It's good to see you looking well again, Brown."

Jason flicked his ears embarrassedly, "I'm fine."

"I took good care of him," Ellie quipped. "And I'm fine too." She paused. "I'm, uh, really

sorry I got you in trouble Monday," she murmured.

Fitzie blinked, "So that was you? A little heads-up next time, Ellie, and I'll bring my

earplugs."

"Lily let you have it then, huh?" Jason asked.

"She certainly let my ears have it, but there's not really a whole lot else she can do. She

doesn't have the authority to fire me, and I made it clear a long time ago that I wasn't interested

in sparring with her or whatever it is she does with people at the gym when they piss her off."

"That's something she does regularly, is it?" Ellie asked uncomfortably.

Fitzie shrugged, "Maybe. I don't know how many people take her up on it. Apparently,

some poor sap did this morning because she couldn't stop gloating about it, even after she

found out what happened to the skunk."

Ellie's ears went red, and she looked down at her hands on the table, "That was me,"

she muttered.

Fitzie started and then looked embarrassed. "Yikes! I'm sorry, Ellie. I didn't mean, er, are

you okay?"

"Nothing serious, but you were right. I was a sap to take that jerk up on her challenge,"

she said miserably.

Jason put his right arm across her back and stroked her a few times. Ellie reached down

with her right hand to give his hand a squeeze.

Their waiter, a gray squirrel in a black vest, stepped up to their table, "I see you're all

here now. Are you ready to order yet?"

"I haven't looked yet," Fitzie answered.

The squirrel gave him an annoyed look, "I'll come back in a minute." He stalked away.

"I guess I'd better decide." Fitzie scanned the menu. "What are you getting, Jason?"

"Chicken tikka masala."

"I'll get something a bit different then, so we can try both, maybe the pork vindaloo." He

glanced at Ellie. "Uh, sorry, Ellie, I guess I'm excluding you again."

Ellie put on a tone of mock exasperation, "The things I put up with being friends with

obligate carnivores!" She smirked, "As long as there's something I can order on the menu, that's

all I ask for."

Jason waved to the waiter, and he stalked back over. Jason ordered the chicken tikka

masala whilst Fitzie ordered the vindaloo and Ellie the chana saag; they also ordered some roti

to share. Once the waiter had left, Jason turned the conversation back to the matter at hand.

"So you're sure the suspect committed suicide, right? How'd he manage to hang

himself?"

Fitzie nodded, "It was definitely suicide. He tore his uniform into strips, used it to make a

rope, and hanged himself from the bunk."

"And where were the guards while all of this was going on?" Ellie inquired.

Fitzie shrugged, "Schulz said there would be an internal investigation, but that's it. I don't

know who was on duty."

"What's she doing about the case? It'll be even harder to identify the skunk's accomplice

now that he's dead."

Fitzie gave her a confused look, "What accomplice?"

"Jason and I think he had to have an accomplice. He was seen at a nearby gas station a

short time after he was supposed to have confronted Danny. Officer Schulz seemed to agree."

Ellie frowned. "Unless that was another thing she was leading me on about."

"Well, she didn't say anything about it to me."

"There's not much more we can do on the case either way," Jason added. "Mrs. Planter

asked us to stop investigating and leave it to the police."

Fitzie blinked, "Why was that?"

"Lily," Jason replied perfunctorily.

Fitzie gave Ellie an understanding look, "I see why you were upset enough to want to

have it out with her."

"That was part of it anyway," Ellie grumbled.

"There was another reason?" Jason asked, confused.

"She also said some nasty things about you, Jason," Ellie replied indignantly.

Jason felt his ears get hot, "You were trying to defend me? Ellie, please don't put

yourself at risk like that on my behalf! Lily can say what she wants. If you'd been seriously

injured, I'd never have forgiven myself!"

"I'm not going to let some jerk just talk shit about my partner!" Ellie protested. "But I

promise not to do something that stupid again."

"What was it that happened if you don't mind saying?" Fitzie put in. "Schulz always

leaves it vague."

Ellie sighed resignedly, "Okay, it's going to sound pretty stupid, but it was just a glorified

game of tag. There was an obstacle course, and I was supposed to touch a few posts while she

tried to catch me. I didn't realize catching was going to involve slamming into the floor, but the

object wasn't even to fight. If I could have stayed away from her, I would have been fine."

Jason exchanged an awkward glance with Fitzie before responding, "That's actually

pretty disturbing, Ellie. She was simulating hunting you. She could have easily gotten carried

away and really hurt you. That's something they teach predators from preschool; your instincts

can kick in and cause you to lose control."

Ellie shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "Oh."

Jason leaned over to hug her with his right arm and nuzzle her between the ears, "I'm so

glad you weren't seriously injured."

"I'm glad too," Fitzie added. "It sounds scary; I wouldn't want Schulz trying to jump on

me."

Ellie pushed Jason away, "I'm not a scared little bunny! I can take care of myself, even

with nasty bobcats!"

"Sorry," Fitzie added quickly. "That's not what I meant."

"You know I know better than to think you can't take care of yourself, Ellie," Jason

insisted. "That doesn't mean I wouldn't be upset if you were injured, just like you would be if I

were."

"I know, Jason. I guess I'm still embarrassed about the whole thing. It was humiliating."

"Let's talk about something else then," Jason suggested.

"Right," Ellie said, brightening up. "I didn't tell you this yet, Tom, but I actually convinced

Jason to go speed dating with me tonight."

Fitzie blinked, "Oh? Where is it?"

"It's at the new brewery in West downtown," Ellie answered. "Maybe you should come

with us, Tom."

Fitzie frowned, "I don't know about-"

"Come on, Tom," Ellie drawled. "It'll be fun! Like I told Jason, even if you don't meet

anyone nice, you might at least meet a weirdo we can laugh about after."

Fitzie didn't look convinced. Jason gave him a pleading look. Anything that divided Ellie's

attention from trying to find him a date would be welcome.

"Okay," Fitzie sighed.

"Yes!" Ellie exclaimed triumphantly. "When you meet your future wives, you can tell them

it was all thanks to me." She grinned.

Fitzie gave Jason a look as if to say, "You'd better be grateful for this."

They were spared from Ellie's self-aggrandizing speculations about her role in finding

them partners by the return of the waiter. The squirrel set their entrées, rice, and roti on the

table and left without a word.

"He's kind of rude," Fitzie noted.

"It's not the most pleasant job in the world," Ellie responded. "People can be really nasty,

and sometimes that's preferable to the people who are really inappropriate. Maybe he's having

a bad time today."

Jason enjoyed both the chicken tikka masala and the vindaloo, and the others appeared

to enjoy their food as well.

"This was a good choice of restaurant, Ellie," Fitzie commented when they had finished

eating. "Now I feel even worse about Miniati's."

"Don't worry about it," she replied.

The waiter returned to the table. "How many checks will that be?" he inquired.

"One; I'll handle it," Ellie replied.

The waiter scanned her left hand, "Have a good night, folks," he said and left.

"Thanks, Ellie," said Fitzie.

"No problem. You paid last time, and I picked the restaurant. Jason, however, is turning

into a real moocher," she teased. "This isn't the first time I've paid for his meals in a week. At

least he paid to get me drunk on Monday, so that's something."

"I could hardly buy my own food when you were ready to tackle me if I tried to leave,"

Jason reminded.

"Wait, what?" Fitzie interjected.

"I'll have to tell you the whole story sometime," Jason explained. "But Ellie is adamant

that her patients submit to her ministrations."

"You know you enjoyed it," Ellie teased. "But we should get going so that we aren't late

for the speed dating."

The sun was dipping below the tops of the high-rises as they walked to the brewery. The

bustle of traffic and pedestrians had slowed down, and they had the sun-warmed sidewalk

mostly to themselves, allowing them to walk three abreast with Ellie in the middle. When they

arrived at the brewery, Ellie hopped forward to get the door, and Fitzie stepped up behind her.

"It smells like we're about to walk into a burrow of rabbits," Fitzie commented as she was

opening the door.

"Gee, thanks, Tom," Ellie replied sarcastically. "I just took a bath this morning."

They stepped inside, and Jason noticed that Fitzie was right: the smell of rabbits was

very strong. He glanced around: nearly everyone present was either a rabbit or a hare. Ellie

didn't seem to notice and proceeded to a small table where a white hare in a black sports jacket

was handing out name tags with numbers.

"We're here for the speed dating," she stated, indicating herself, Jason, and Fitzie.

The hare gave Jason and Fitzie a funny look before sliding forward three name tags.

"Alright, you can write your name, and then the number tells you where to start in the rotation.

Yours is the even one," he told Ellie.

Fitzie had been scanning the room since they arrived. He nudged Jason, "I think I'm

going to pass on the speed dating after all. Want to come get a drink at the bar and check in

with Ellie when she's done?"

Fitzie walked away, and Jason started to follow him, but Ellie seized him by the arm.

"Where do you think you're going?" she scolded.

"I was going to the bar with Fitzie."

"Tom can be a stick in the mud if he wants, but we're still doing the speed dating."

"Ellie," he intoned under his breath. "Almost everyone here is a rabbit. I don't think

there's another cat in the whole place."

Ellie glanced around as if just noticing, "That's odd, but maybe another kitty will come in

later. Besides you said you'd do this with me." She picked up his name tag, which she had

already written his name on, and led him by the arm over to the tables with numbered stools.

She stopped at the stool marked 27, "This is your spot." She left him and went to find her

own spot.

Jason glanced at the men seated to either side of his spot: the one to the left was a

brown and white rabbit wearing a black fedora, and the other was a gray and white rabbit

wearing a light green vest. No one was seated across from him yet, and he hoped that there

would be too few women for him to have a date for the first round. However, after a few

minutes, a grey and white rabbit in a sleeveless pink dress sat across from him. He smiled

awkwardly at her, and her green eyes went wide, her expression becoming very nervous if not

fearful. Off to a great start. The white hare at the front stood up and addressed those in

attendance.

"Thank you, everyone, for coming. How this is going to work is simple: each rotation will

be for five minutes, and at the end, guys will move to the next odd number unless you're at the

end, in which case you go back to one. There are pieces of paper and pencils on the tables for

you to share your information. Is everyone clear?"

No one responded.

"Alright then, the first five-minute rotation starts now."

Jason looked back to the rabbit across from him, "I'm Jason."

"B-betsy."

"Nice to meet you."

She just looked at him nervously.

"Ahem, this is probably a dumb question, but do you know why almost everyone here is

a rabbit or hare?"

She looked confused, "Didn't you see the flyers? It's being sponsored by the

Lagomorphic Society."

Jason sighed. Well, that explains it, a club for lagomorphs. "My friend looked at the flyer.

She didn't say who it was sponsored by."

"Who's your friend?"

Jason scanned the room until he spotted Ellie. He pointed, "White rabbit with brown

splotches in a yellow tank top."

Betsy turned to look then looked back at him, "So you aren't trying to catch a rabbit?"

Catch? "Uh, no, I assume you didn't come here wanting to date a cat either."

She shook her head vigorously.

Well, at least she's certain about that. "So, uh, do you want to talk about anything else?

Have you, uh, read any good books I should check out?"

"I'd prefer not to," she murmured.

They sat in awkward silence for the next couple minutes until the white hare told them to

move. Jason walked a few paces to the next seat and sat across from a white rabbit in a sky

blue t-shirt.

She gave him an annoyed look, "Great, a cat with a thing for rabbits. I'm not interested,

sorry," she announced bluntly.

Jason sighed and rolled his eyes, "I'm not interested in rabbits either. I didn't know it was

going to be all lagomorphs. My friend asked me to come, and she didn't say that."

She sniffed and looked at him skeptically. Jason didn't feel like engaging her further, so

he just waited until it was time to move again.

This time he sat across from a black rabbit with a white spot covering her nose. She was

wearing a black denim jacket and had small circular silver earrings all the way up her ears

except at the very bottom where each ear had an earring that appeared to be shaped like a

rabbit's skull. Her hazel eyes went wide as he sat down. Great, another scared one.

"I'm Jason," he introduced himself.

"Rachel, it's nice to meet you!" her voice quavered slightly but she sounded more excited

than afraid.

Jason smiled amiably, "It's nice to meet you too."

She leaned forward, "Could you open your mouth?"

Confused, "What?"

She demonstrated, opening her mouth wide to show from her large incisors to her back

molars. "Like that."

"Uh, okay." He opened his mouth.

She scrambled up onto the table and reached for his mouth. He jerked his head back

and snapped his mouth shut.

"What are you doing?!" he asked incredulously.

"I want to touch your teeth."

"No!"

She frowned and got off of the table and back into her chair. Her eyes drifted down to his

hands on the table. "How about your claws? Can I touch those?"

Jason sighed, exasperated. I hope you think this is funny, Ellie. "Alright." He extended

the claws on his right hand and held it out across the table.

She ran her finger over his curved claws, giving a little shudder. She lifted up one of his

fingers to feel the claw's tip.

"Ouch!" she pulled her hand away and sucked her finger. "They're so sharp!"

"Yeah, they are," he muttered, deadpan.

She removed her finger from her mouth and stared at him intently, hazel eyes boring into

him. He began to feel more than a little uncomfortable. She grabbed a slip of paper and pencil

off of the table and jotted down her number. She slid it over to him.

"Call me," she requested earnestly.

Jason accepted the piece of paper even though he had no intention of calling her.

Finally, the white hare told them to move, and he gratefully moved to the next stool. During the

next few rounds, he was paired with two more rabbits and a hare. The hare was friendly, but

they were all clearly uninterested, which was probably better than the alternative if the black

rabbit was anything to go by. Subsequently, he found himself seated across from Ellie.

"So are you having fun?" she inquired cheerfully.

"No, everyone is wondering what I'm doing here, especially me; it's incredibly awkward."

Ellie seemed unfazed. "I take it you haven't exchanged any numbers then," she teased.

"Actually, I did get one." He showed her the slip of paper.

Ellie grinned wide with amused titillation, "Really? Who from?"

Jason motioned with his head, "The black rabbit in the denim jacket. She seemed very

interested; although, I'm not sure whether she wanted to date me or jump in my mouth."

Ellie's expression shifted to one of bewilderment, "Jump in your mouth? What do you

mean?"

"She asked me to open my mouth, climbed up on the table, and tried to stick her hand

in."

"Did you let her?"

"Of course not!" He paused awkwardly. "I did let her feel my claws though."

"How did she react to that?"

"Excited."

Ellie smirked, "See, I told you you'd at least meet some weirdos. Maybe you should give

her a call just to see what it's like."

Sarcastic, "Right." He sighed. "So have you met anyone interesting?"

Ellie nodded, "A couple guys."

"I'm glad it's going well for you at least."

The white hare announced it was time to move.

He got up. "See you later."

The next seat was at another table. When he found it, he was surprised to find himself

across from a light brown chihuahua in a red blouse, who he hadn't spotted before.

She grinned, "I'm Rosa. Did you come here not knowing it was going to be all rabbits

too?"

"I'm Jason, and yes, I didn't know."

"It's nice to meet another carnivore. What do you do?"

"I'm a private investigator. How about you?"

"I work in marketing, but private investigator sounds interesting! What do you

investigate?"

"Missing people, missing things, what people are up to."

"Have you had any interesting cases lately?"

"You could say that, but I can't give you the specifics. We have to keep our clients'

information confidential."

"I understand." She gave him an appraising look over. "I like the stripes by the way."

Jason smiled at the compliment, "Thanks, it was my friend who told me I should show

them off."

The chihuahua looked around, "Are they here?"

"Yeah, she's over there in the yellow tank top," he gestured with a wave of his hand.

"Oh! A rabbit, I guess that explains how you ended up here."

"I still have to ask her about that. I assume she just didn't notice who was sponsoring the

event on the flyer."

"So it's just a coincidence then?" She smirked. "Imagine if it had been the other way

around, a bunch of cats. She probably would have been out of here in a flash."

"Ellie would have been fine," Jason objected.

The chihuahua blinked, "If you say so. Half of the rabbits I've talked to this evening have

been nervous enough across from one dog."

"Some of them have been nervous across from me too, but Ellie isn't like that. She

doesn't let people intimidate her. This morning, she took on a bobcat."

"Who won?"

Jason frowned, "Well, the bobcat, I guess, but that wasn't my point."

The chihuahua frowned back, "Look, I don't want to insult your friend. I don't know why

we're even talking about her."

Jason felt his ears getting warm. "Sorry," he murmured.

"Right, so, uh, outside of work, what do you do?"

"I usually just listen to music or read. How about you?"

"I like to go for walks and bike rides, and sometimes I paint."

The white hare announced that it was time to move spots.

"Were you going to give me your number?" she asked.

"Do you want it?"

"Yes."

"Okay." He grabbed a slip of paper and pencil and wrote it down.

"Thanks," she said as he slid the paper to her. She smiled, "See you around, I hope."

"Yeah, it was nice to meet you. See you." The grey rabbit in the green vest was waiting

impatiently for Jason to move. "Sorry," Jason muttered as he hurried to the next spot.

After talking to several more uninterested rabbits and hares, Jason met Ellie and Fitzie

at the bar.

"So how did that go?" Fitzie asked as he approached.

"It was a bunch of rabbits and hares at an event sponsored by the Lagomorphic Society,

no less. They weren't interested."

"The Lagomorphic Society, huh? I wondered why the turnout was like it was," Ellie

commented. "But it's not totally true that no one was interested. Tell Tom about your admirer."

Jason sighed, "There was one rabbit who was interested, especially in my teeth and

claws. She tried to stick her hand in my mouth, and then after I refused to allow that, I had to let

her touch my claws. She gave me her number."

Ellie snickered, and Fitzie gave him a sympathetic look.

"Were you literally the only person who wasn't a lagomorph?" he asked.

"Well, there was a chihuahua also, but as far as I know, she was the only other."

"How was she," Ellie inquired. "Too smelly for you?"

"I didn't notice any smell. She seemed nice enough. She asked for my number, and I

gave it to her."

"Really?! Ha! So I was doubly right! You found a date and met a weirdo," Ellie

congratulated herself.

Jason rolled his eyes. "So how did it go for you?"

"Like I said, I met a couple of interesting guys, one rabbit and one hare. I got a bunch of

numbers, but those are the only two I'll consider calling."

"Did you meet your own weirdo?" Fitzie asked.

Ellie smirked, "None as weird as Jason's admirer maybe, but there were a few. There

was the guy who wouldn't shut up about some cartoon he watches. Then there was the guy who

seemed to think I was going to come back to his house and fuck him after talking for five

minutes, and finally, there was the guy in the fedora who wanted to warn me about the imminent

return of Cthulhu."

"Well, I'm glad you had a good time. Since we're here, do you want to get a drink, Ellie?

Would you like another Fitzie? I'll pay."

Fitzie nodded, "If you're paying, then sure. I'll have another IPA."

Ellie studied the list of beers on tap, "I'll try the saison. Make sure you tell them who it's

for this time."

Jason waved over the bartender, a black rat. "Hi, can we get the saison for her, another

IPA for him, and the chocolate stout for me?"

Jason noticed that the rat did indeed bring Ellie and Fitzie smaller glasses than him.

After the rat had scanned his hand, they moved to a table, which was empty now that most of

the speed daters had left. Ellie sat to Jason's right, and Fitzie sat across from her; they all

enjoyed their beer in silent camaraderie for a couple minutes.

"So how are you liking yours, Ellie?" Jason asked.

"It's interesting, fruity and a bit sour."

"I noticed you avoided the high alcohol content ones this time."

"Yes, I didn't want to make you drive me home again."

"Even so, I'd watch your tail around this one on the way back, Fitzie."

Fitzie gave him a puzzled look, "Why?"

"In case she decides it's her new toy."

"I wouldn't do that to Tom!" Ellie responded indignantly.

"You wouldn't?" Jason replied dubiously.

Ellie leaned over and snatched his tail, pulling the end up above the table. "No! I save

that kind of torment for you!" She waved his tail at Fitzie. "Caught by his tail again! I bet

chopping it off is sounding better and better."

Fitzie smiled awkwardly.

Jason tried to yank his tail away, but Ellie wouldn't let go.

"It's mine now, Jason. If you ask nicely, I'll let you take it home with you tonight." She

took a gulp of her beer, still holding his tail tightly in her other hand.

Fitzie was giving the two of them an amused look, and Jason was becoming increasingly

embarrassed.

"Ellie," he muttered under his breath. "This is embarrassing. We're in a brewpub full of

people!"

"You shouldn't have brought it up then," she replied placidly.

Fitzie snickered.

Jason frowned, "Don't encourage her." He glanced around the brewpub and saw a few

people staring. He looked down at the table, his ears hot. "People are staring," he whispered.

"I don't care. Do you care, Tom?"

Fitzie shook his head, grinning wide, "You should lead him out by it."

Ellie winked, "I can see we think alike, Tom."

"Gee, thanks, Fitzie," Jason grumbled.

Jason tried to ignore the stares whilst they finished their beer. When they were done,

Ellie hopped down from her stool, still keeping a firm hold on his tail. She gave it a gentle yank.

"Come on now, kitty! It's time to go home," she announced for more than his and Fitzie's

benefit.

Using his tail like a leash, she walked in front and led him to the door. Jason could feel

the other patrons' eyes boring into him as they walked out, and he kept his gaze on the floor.

Fitzie walked behind, shaking with silent mirth.

After they stepped outside, Fitzie burst into a raucous chortle, "Bwahahaha! Oh, Zeus!

You should have looked at the expressions, Jason. You might have sprouted a second head!"

Ellie nodded and giggled, "Heeheehee, I thought some of their eyes would pop out of

their heads."

Jason tried to yank his tail away again and winced as he pulled it against Ellie's tight

grip.

"Now don't hurt yourself, silly kitty!" Ellie scolded. She moved in next to his left side so

that she could wrap his tail around in front of her and reached her right arm around his back.

"That's better. Now, let's get going."

Jason had a hard time staying upset with Ellie, especially with her affectionately stroking

his back as they walked. After a few minutes he reached his own left arm around her shoulders.

Fitzie walked a few paces behind as they strolled through the darkening twilight. The yellow light

of tall street lamps illuminated the sidewalk, and the temperature was beginning to drop though

Jason could still feel heat radiating from the blacktop when they crossed the street. When they

had neared the office, Fitzie stepped up in front of them.

"Goodnight, Brown, Ellie. See you around."

"Goodnight, Tom."

"Bye, Fitzie."

The ferret waved and hurried off across the street to the left. Jason and Ellie continued

onward, shortly arriving back at their office building.

"Goodnight, Ellie," Jason said and started for his car.

Ellie didn't let go.

"Uh, can I have my tail back now?"

Ellie crossed her arms, still holding his tail, "Are you going to ask nicely?"

"Please?"

"Please may I," Ellie enunciated.

Jason sighed exasperatedly. "Please may I have my tail back?"

Ellie brushed the end of his tail against her chin with a thoughtful expression, "Hmm, no."

Jason frowned, "Then what-"

"You can borrow my kitty tail for the night though."

Jason rolled his eyes, "Okay, may I borrow your cat tail?"

Ellie smiled, "Yes." She let go, and he pulled it back. "Take good care of it!" she quipped.

She turned and headed to the elevator to collect her things.

Jason watched her go before turning back to his dark blue sedan. He climbed into the

car, turned on the Classical music radio station, and began his drive home. Ellie certainly did

her best to aggravate him at times: forcing him to go speed dating even after it was clear he was

the only cat present, embarrassing him in public, restraining him when he wanted to go home.

But on the other hand, she brought him to her home when he made himself ill. On the other

hand, she trusted him even knowing why he dropped out of the police academy. On the other

hand, she turned to him for comfort when other friends upset her and adversaries hurt her.

Jason sighed; it was a complicated relationship, but he couldn't deny the affection he felt for his

partner. He couldn't deny the contentment he'd felt walking with arms around each other even if

she had still been messing with his tail.

Jason arrived home and proceeded up to his bedroom to groom himself. After he had

finished licking his fur, he went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. The bottle of rosemary-

scented shampoo he had given Ellie was still on the side of the tub. He picked it up to return it to

the cabinet under the sink, but on impulse, he opened the top to smell the fragrant liquid. He

drew on his memory of how the shampoo had smelled when mixed with Ellie's warm rabbit

scent. He caught himself and blushed, ears getting warm: imagining Ellie's smell was a bit

weird. But she complimented my smell the other day. Maybe it was okay to like the way his

partner smelled; it certainly seemed better than the opposite. Jason used his catnip flavored

toothpaste and went back to the bedroom.

While the downstairs was floored with wood, the upstairs, excluding the white tile floored

bathroom, was carpeted with thick royal blue carpet. The walls of Jason's bedroom were

painted white, and his bed covers were charcoal gray. He climbed into bed and clicked on the

stainless-steel reading lamp that was clipped to the maple headboard. He propped up one of his

gray pillows and lifted the book he was reading off of the maple nightstand. The book was a

paperback copy of Aldous Huxley's The Devils of Loudun. Jason enjoyed the thorough manner

in which Huxley expounded on his ideas even if he found some of them to be quite dubious.

After he had finished a chapter, Jason replaced the book and turned out the light. He

pushed the top blanket to the end of his bed and slid under the two lighter sheets. He turned

onto his right side, facing the middle of the large bed, and pulled the extra pillow to his chest. As

he drifted into restful sleep, he sleepily imagined that he was holding Ellie and nuzzled the top of

the pillow. He could almost imagine he smelled her warm rabbit scent mixed with the rosemary

shampoo.

* * *

The next day, they began work on the case brought to them by the dachshund. There

was a café a little ways down on the opposite side of the street from Garmann Brothers Bank,

and Jason and Ellie took turns pretending to write, Ellie with a keyboard accessory for her tablet

and Jason with his old laptop that he brought from home, while keeping an eye on the entrance

of the bank. Jason took the first watch, and Ellie received an email from him informing her that

the Scottish terrier had entered the bank a little before nine. Ellie's shift started at one in the

afternoon. She had slept in in case she had to watch late and had donned a simple black t-shirt

to make her less conspicuous. When she arrived at the café, Jason wasn't there. She checked

her email and saw that Jason had informed her that the terrier had exited the bank, and he was

following him. About half an hour later, she received another email stating that the terrier had

gone to a sub shop for lunch and was headed back toward the bank. A short while later, Ellie

saw the terrier, who was wearing a light gray jacket and green tie, enter the bank and sent an

email back to Jason to confirm.

Promptly, at five in the afternoon, the terrier exited the bank. Not exactly working late.

Ellie shoved her tablet into her satchel, left the café, and followed him at a discrete distance.

The bustle of people leaving work made it easy for Ellie to hide the fact she was following the

dog but also made it so she had to be careful not to lose him. She almost lost him once when he

dashed across the street in the last few seconds of the crosswalk and Ellie had to wait for the

signal to change. Fortunately, he maintained his course, and Ellie was able to catch back up.

After walking several blocks, the terrier entered a bar. The sign above the window read Goat's

Blood Pub and depicted a glass of red liquid next to a goat's severed head. Charming.

Ellie entered the bar and scanned the room. Inside, the bar was dimly lit with red lights.

High, black painted round tables surrounded by tall black chairs were strewn about the room.

The place smelled strongly of cheap liquor and faintly of stale vomit, and the floor was sticky.

She spotted the Scottish terrier alone at a table near the back. She ordered a margarita at the

bar and went to sit at a small table in the middle of the room, facing just to the left of the terrier

so that she could see him in her peripheral vision when she looked forward. Ellie sipped her

drink slowly. She noticed that the terrier had already downed one ale and started another.

Maybe he's not cheating. Maybe he's an alcoholic. However, she assumed the dachshund

would have been able to tell if her husband came home plastered every night.

She had been watching about five minutes, when a gray squirrel in a blue flat cap sat

across from her.

"What's a beautiful lady like you doing in a dive like this?" he asked in a gravelly, high-

pitched voice.

Ellie smiled politely, "I don't know; it has a sort of ambiance to it, don't you think?"

The squirrel cackled at her remark, "Heheheh, 'ambiance' that's good. Want me to get

you another of those?" he asked, indicating her margarita.

"No thanks; I've just started this one." She glanced over his head to check that the terrier

was still there and alone.

The squirrel looked around behind him and turned back, "Something interesting going on

back there?"

"I'm, uh, just seeing if my boyfriend is on his way back."

The squirrel turned around again then turned back with a grin, "I don't see him." He got

up and moved to the chair just to her right, scooting it as close as possible before sitting down.

He put his left arm around her shoulders. "What do you say we get out of this dump, and go

back to my place for some, heh, calisthenics."

Ellie didn't want to get thrown out or draw attention to herself, so she turned to him

calmly. "Look," she murmured. "I'm not trying to find a date right now, so why don't you go find

someone else to bother?"

He reached his left forearm up to stroke her face, and she leaned her head away from

his hand.

"Come on, baby; I promise you'll have a great time. I know how to please a woman."

Ellie noticed movement out of the corner of her eye and darted her eyes over to see his

free hand moving quickly away from her drink. Fucking rapist piece of shit!

Ellie forced a smile to hide her rage, and tried to speak cheerfully, "If you're as

experienced as you say, then maybe I should take you up on the offer. Just let me finish my

drink." She lifted the glass and dumped it in his lap.

He jumped as the liquid splashed over him and snarled, "What the fuck?! You bitch!"

Ellie gave him a death stare. "If I weren't too busy, I'd break your neck and stuff you in a

garbage can," she whispered. "Now fuck off, and don't let me see you ever again. Or you'll wish

I hadn't."

He gave her a fearful look, jumped out of his seat, and scurried out of the bar. Ellie

shook her head in disgust. She glanced back toward the terrier: he was still by himself. She took

out her tablet and emailed Jason, updating him and requesting that he join her to prevent more

unwanted attention. After ten minutes, Jason arrived and sat across from her. He was wearing a

dark gray dress shirt, apparently having a similar idea as Ellie on inconspicuous attire.

"I see he's still by himself," he murmured.

"And on his third beer," she noted. "Do you think it's possible his wife forgot to mention

he comes home shit-faced?"

"I doubt it. Maybe he has a high tolerance."

Finally, after a few more minutes, the terrier was joined by a black cat in a close-fitting,

short black dress. Ellie took out her tablet and pretended to be showing Jason something as she

snapped a few pictures.

"Well, he is at least meeting someone," she murmured.

The terrier slammed back his last beer, and he and the cat left the bar. Jason and Ellie

followed them. The sidewalks were still fairly busy, again making it easy for them to follow

unnoticed. After just a few blocks, the cat and dog entered the front of a run-down hotel. Ellie

pulled out her tablet and quickly snapped a couple pictures of them at the front desk through the

glass front door before slipping back to the side of the door with Jason.

"I'd say that's pretty unambiguous," she concluded.

"We should try to get more evidence if we can. Let's get a room and see if we can get a

recording of them, uh, you know."

He opened the door, and they walked inside. The terrier and black cat were headed into

the elevator. The doors closed behind them, and Ellie kept her eyes on the lights above the

doors to see which floor they went to: they stopped on 4. Jason approached the front desk,

which a male opossum in a white dress shirt and black bow tie was standing behind.

"We'd like a room," Jason told him.

"No problem, one bed or two?"

"One."

The opossum smirked, "Cats ain't too picky, huh? Couple in before you was a cat and

dog, but cat and rabbit might take the cake."

Jason smiled embarrassedly, "Heh, well, uh-"

Ellie stepped up and put her left arm around him, "It's his first time with a rabbit. He's a

little nervous he won't be able to keep up," she joked.

The opossum's eyes bulged, and he burst into a raucous laugh, "Ahahahahahaha!" After

he had settled down, he wiped his eyes and took out the scanner. He scanned Jason's left

hand. "Okay, your room is five oh seven."

"Thank you," Ellie replied.

They headed for the elevators.

"Good luck, man!" the opossum yelled.

Ellie noticed Jason's ears twitch. She pushed the button for the elevator. Inside the

elevator, Ellie hit the 4 and 5 buttons.

"Their room is on level four," she explained.

Jason nodded perfunctorily, avoiding her eyes.

Ellie smirked. "You know, if you want, we can spend the night in the room you paid for,

jump on the bed and make some noises in case the guy at the desk gets curious."

"The room probably has bedbugs or fleas," he muttered.

Ellie gave a snort of amusement. The elevator doors opened on the fourth floor, and

they got out. The dirty green carpet and tan walls of the hallway stretched both to the left and

right. The entire place had the odor of mould and old cigarette smoke.

"I'll try this way," Ellie told him, starting down the hall to the right.

Jason went the other way, and Ellie went from room to room listening at the door for

occupants: most of the rooms seemed to be empty. In one room, she thought she heard the

high-pitched voices of some type of small rodent, and in another, she heard the clamorous

voices of multiple canines but no cat. She reached the end of the hall without luck and turned

back to go find Jason. As she was walking back the way she'd come, he peeked around a

corner up the hall and waved for her to come. Ellie hastened up the hall and found Jason

standing by room 403. He nodded to the door, and Ellie listened: she heard the yappy voice of a

small dog and the smooth trill of a cat in conversation. They were talking softly, but Ellie's keen

ears allowed her to hear their conversation.

"So Reggie, I hear you've been a bad dog lately, hmm?" the cat purred.

"Yes, Lucy, I've been a very bad dog!" the dog yapped excitedly.

"As you know, bad dogs have to be punished."

Ellie smirked. She leaned away from the door and whispered to Jason, "Sounds like our

terrier is about to get punished."

Jason blinked, looking confused, "I didn't think it sounded like they were arguing," he

whispered back.

Suddenly, there was the sharp smacking sound followed by a high-pitched yip. Jason

started and jerked his head toward the door. The first smack was followed by a series of smacks

and snaps, each punctuated with another yip.

Ellie grinned amusedly at Jason, "Punished," she whispered.

She took out her tablet, positioned its microphone at the crack under the door, and then

crouched beside it while it recorded. They stayed still to allow it to capture the noises from the

room as the beating continued. At length, the smacking and yipping stopped, and the couple

began talking again. This time their voices were louder, more excited, and Ellie was able to hear

them even without her ear to the door.

"How do you like my claws, Reggie?" the cat purred.

"They're lovely, Lucy!" the dog whined.

"Good, I've been sharpening them just in case I met a bad dog like you."

This was followed by a loud yipe, which was then repeated several more times as the

cat presumably scratched or sunk her claws into the dog.

Ellie paused the tablet's recording and stood up. Jason was staring at the door,

flabbergasted. She poked him, and he started and turned his head to look at her.

"Sounds like some pretty hard stuff," she whispered.

Jason nodded, looking disturbed, "Do you think that's what that black rabbit wanted me

to do to her?"

Ellie shrugged. "I think we have enough," she stated.

She spun around and accidentally whacked her right elbow into the door. The room on

the other side went silent. Ellie froze, and made eye contact with Jason, mortified. The door flew

open to reveal the black cat, green eyes wide and face twisted into a scowl.

"What are you two doing out here?!" she hissed. Her eyes went to Ellie's tablet, still open

to the recording program, and her ears lay back. She lunged for Ellie, "You're a dead rabbit!"

Ellie dodged away, and Jason jumped between them.

"Hold on! I know what it looks like, but we were collecting evidence for Reginald's wife."

The cat stared at him, "His wife?" she hissed.

Ellie pulled the photo Mrs. Clark had given them out of her satchel and held it out for the

cat to see. The cat examined the picture briefly. Her ears lay back again, and Ellie prepared to

dodge away. However, the cat spun around and slammed the door behind her as she stalked

angrily back into the room.

"You're married?!" her ferocious yowl blasted through the closed door.

"Kitten, I can explain!" the dog whined. "I-I'm going to, to leave my wife! I love you!"

There was a loud hiss followed by the dog yelping and howling in pain and terror.

Jason stared at the door in horror, "Fangs of Cerberus!" he gasped. "Should we call the

police?"

Ellie shrugged. "He was a bad dog, and now he's being punished. That's what he

wanted, isn't it?"

Jason looked at her in disbelief.

"We can let the guy at the front desk handle it," she amended.

They went back downstairs, and Ellie stepped up to the front desk.

"Wore him out already?!" the opossum gasped.

"Not quite," she replied nonchalantly. "But I think you should check on the couple in four

oh three. I think one of them might be ripping the other's pelt off."

The opossum frowned worriedly and hastened to the elevator.

Ellie turned to Jason, "See, he'll take care of it," she assured him calmly. "Let's go."

They headed back to the office to call Mrs. Clark and give her the bad news.

* * *

Jack tromped angrily down the dark sidewalk. He was angry that he had wasted his

rohypnol on that cunt rabbit, but he was even more angry at himself for being frightened by her

idle threats. He should have known there was no way she'd actually have the guts to attack him.

However, she was easily twice his size, and her threats had scared him enough that he had

spent the next couple hours hiding down an alley in case she changed her mind and decided to

come after him. He kicked an empty beer can out into the street. He'd get more drugs and find a

less attentive victim. Maybe he'd try another rabbit, a stupider looking one. He grinned viciously

as he imagined leading the stupefied bunny back to his apartment where she wouldn't be able

to resist, where he could do anything he wanted to her. He was so lost in reverie that he didn't

even see the wolverine until he bumped into him.

"Watch it, you stupid fuck!" Jack growled.

His head exploded with pain as a heavy fist slammed into it, knocking him senseless.

When he regained his consciousness in the brightly lit room of stone and concrete that smelled

of antiseptic, he soon wished he hadn't.

* * *

Jason stepped through his front door into his living room and proceeded to the stairs to

put his laptop back in his room. He had let Ellie make the call to Mrs. Clark, but he had still been

able to hear her howling from across the room. He felt horrible for the dog having her life turned

upside-down by her husband's infidelity, all because he wanted to be tortured by a feline

mistress. Jason didn't really get the desire to be tortured by someone, but if anything, he

understood the desire to do the torturing even less. Why would it please you to see someone

you cared about in pain? He found the idea that the black rabbit from the speed dating might

have wanted him to similarly hurt her highly disturbing. He almost wanted to call her in hopes of

finding out that wasn't the case, but he decided he should just leave it. If that's what she

wanted, it seemed there were cats out there willing to provide it; although, maybe the problem

was finding a cat willing to date a rabbit to start with.

Jason slipped his laptop case under his bed and went back downstairs to the kitchen to

fix dinner. He sliced up a couple chicken filets and sautéed them in Roman dressing. When the

meat was finished cooking, he dumped it onto a white plate, grabbed a fork from the silverware

drawer, and took it over to his rectangular, oak dining table, which had four matching oak chairs.

He sat at the end facing away from the kitchen while he quickly ate his food. When he was

done, he drank a glass of water and then washed all of the dishes and utensils he had just used

and put them in the drying rack. While he was drying his hands on the red and white striped

kitchen towel, his phone rang. He hurried out to the living room to answer it.

"Hello? This is Jason Brown."

"Hi, Jason! This is Rosa, the chihuahua you met yesterday."

"Hi, Rosa. How are you?"

"I'm great, Jason. Anyway, I'm calling because I'd like to meet you again sometime soon.

Maybe for dinner tomorrow?"

"Sure, that works for me. Did you have someplace in mind?"

"Yeah, there's a romantic Roman restaurant in downtown called Miniati's. Have you

been there?"

"I have; it's good." As long as you aren't a herbivore.

"Cool. Why don't we meet there around, say, six o'clock?"

"That works for me. Should I make reservations?"

"If you want, thanks."

"Alright, then I'll see you then, Rosa. Have a good night."

"You too, Jason. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better. Bye for now." The

other end hung up and Jason set down the phone.

Ellie certainly would be excited to hear that he had a date, and he was at least cautiously

optimistic himself. Rosa had seemed friendly enough yesterday, and she was pretty, as far as

dogs went anyway. He didn't think Ellie was right about him pining over Lily: particularly after

what she had done to Ellie, Jason felt like he barely knew the bobcat anymore. However, it

would still be good to be in a relationship again. It would be good to have someone to confide in

and to go out with, someone besides Ellie anyway. As much as he cared for his friend and

partner, she wasn't someone he could have a romantic relationship with: she was a rabbit after

all.

Jason went to his bedroom to groom himself and then to the bathroom to brush his

teeth. After reading another chapter of The Devils of Loudun, he lay down and hugged his extra

pillow. The idea of his date tomorrow filled him with nervous anticipation, and it was sometime

before he was able to settle his mind and fall asleep.

* * *

Jason's alarm woke him at 6:00. He jumped out of bed and stepped over to his closet to

get dressed. Remembering Ellie's recommendation about showing off his stripes, he donned a

white shirt collar and maroon and gold striped tie. Then he went downstairs for a leisurely

breakfast of coffee, turkey link sausage, and whole wheat toast. After going back upstairs to

brush his teeth, he snagged his phone off of the tv stand and headed to work, arriving before

eight. He checked the answering machine: there were no messages. He took the mug he kept

at work to grab another cup of coffee and the daily Maplesburg Gazette, returning to work by

8:30. Ellie had yet to arrive. He sat reading until, a little after nine, she came in wearing one of

her button up short-sleeved blouses, this one light blue.

"Good morning, Ellie," he greeted her as she stepped through the door.

"Good morning, Jason. No disasters yet this morning, I hope."

"No anything so far, but I do have some news for you. The chihuahua I talked to the

other day called me last night. She and I are going to dinner this evening."

Ellie grinned. "That's fantastic, Jason! And just think, I had to practically drag you to the

speed dating. How are you ever going to repay me?"

Jason rolled his eyes. "I don't know. Clean your apartment like you didn't want me to do

before?"

"That'd be a start," she quipped. She went to sit at her desk. "You know, if I called one of

the guys I met, we could go together, make it a double date."

Jason frowned. "I don't know about that, Ellie. They wouldn't know each other, so they'd

each be meeting three new people while we'd only be meeting two. I think that would make it

pretty awkward. Besides, she wanted to go to Miniati's, so we'd have to change the venue."

"I guess you're right, but you have to introduce me to her soon."

"That's assuming the date goes well," Jason reminded.

"How could it not go well? She clearly knows a handsome kitty when she sees one, and

if you gave her your number, then I assume you thought she seemed nice."

"I just hope I don't bore her," Jason admitted.

"Just tell her all about the carnivore cults; that should lead to a lively discussion."

"Or she'll think I'm a nutter like the guy who tried to warn you about Cthulhu."

"Well, I'm sure you'll be able to think of a topic, or you can let her pick one. Either way,

I'm sure she'll be thrilled to have made such a catch."

Jason felt his ears getting warm and resisted the urge to flick them, which would give

away his embarrassment. He let his tail flip behind his desk instead. Being a dog's catch had

some implications he didn't care to think about.

"We'll see how it goes," he concluded noncommittally.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful. No one called or came to the office with a case.

After lunch Ellie informed Jason that she had gone ahead and called the hare she'd met to set

up her own date.

"We're going to an Ethiopian restaurant. Then there was a movie in theaters that he

thought I'd like to see, so we are also going to that," she told him.

"Sounds like fun. How did you decide who to call first?"

"I flipped a coin."

Jason smirked, "Well, I hope you like the lucky hare. If he doesn't like you, there's

something wrong with him. You're brilliant."

Ellie smiled, "I'm glad you think so, Jason. Sometimes I think I'm an idiot. Most rabbits

would have the good sense to stay away from an angry bobcat for example."

"What Lily did was inexcusable," Jason countered. "Being smaller than someone doesn't

make it wrong to stand up for yourself or your convictions."

"Being in the right might be a small consolation if I were bleeding out on the floor, but I'm

glad I have your support, Jason."

"Always, Ellie. You'll always have my support," he averred.

Ellie smirked, "That turned into an awfully serious conversation, but you'll always have

my support too, Jason. That's what friends and partners are for."

At half past five, they headed out of the office to their respective dates.

"Good luck!" Ellie called as they went their separate ways.

"Good luck to you too!" Jason called back.

When Jason arrived at Miniati's he was greeted by the same whippet as the previous

week.

"I have a reservation for two under the name Brown," Jason told him.

The whippet nodded, "Your table is ready. Your rabbit friend won't be joining you tonight,

I assume."

"No, she won't. I'm expecting a chihuahua. Is she here?"

"Not yet, sir."

The whippet directed him to his table, and Jason sat to wait for Rosa. He guessed that

she was right about the restaurant being a romantic setting with its soft lighting and candles at

the mahogany tables. After a short while, Jason saw the whippet leading Rosa back to the table.

She was wearing a short, sleeveless red dress with a ruffled bottom and carrying a brown tote

purse. He waved, and she waved back. The whippet left, and she sat down across from him.

"Hey, it's great to see you again!" she greeted happily.

"It's nice to see you too. How have you been today?"

"Anxious. I half expected that you wouldn't show up."

Jason couldn't think what he might have said to make her think he wouldn't come, so he

assumed it was just general nerves. "Well, we're both here now, so we don't have to worry

about that anymore."

"Yeah, so how about you? How was your day?"

"Work was slow, no new cases today."

"Were you nervous about our date?"

"A little, but I never thought you wouldn't come."

"Well, that's obvious. A dog wouldn't run away from a cat; that'd be absurd."

Jason blinked. "I guess so." He decided not to bring up any examples of when that might

very well happen; though, he found the statement particularly silly coming from a dog who was

smaller than he was. "So, uh, have you come here many times?"

"Quite a few times. It's a little pricey, but the food is delicious. And I love the atmosphere.

You?"

"I've been here several times with my friend Fitzie. It's one of his favorites. Although, the

last time we made the mistake of inviting Ellie. She's a rabbit, and it turns out there isn't a single

suitable item on the menu. The craziest part was that, when she asked if they could make her

anything, they just brought her a plate of raw carrots!"

"Rabbits eat carrots, don't they?"

"Well, yes, but you don't go to a Roman restaurant to get raw vegetables you can buy at

the store. I thought it was pretty unreasonable for them not to try to make her something."

"If you ask me, it's unreasonable to show up at a restaurant and expect them to make

you something that's not on the menu."

Jason frowned, "Well, maybe, but it was Fitzie who wanted to come here, and we didn't

realize they wouldn't have anything. It wasn't Ellie's fault."

"It must be tough having a herbivore for a friend, always having to check whether you

can go someplace and tiptoeing around the fact that they'd be on the table if it weren't for the

scientific miracle of lab-grown meat."

Jason felt a bit sick to his stomach. He'd never once viewed Ellie as a potential meal,

and the suggestion that it was something you had to actively avoid was very disturbing. "We've

had it for nearly three centuries though!" he protested. "Don't you think we've gotten to the point

where that's not how most people think?"

Rosa shrugged, "Instinct is instinct. I'm sure you had plenty of instruction when you were

young on how to control those instincts. I know I did, but that doesn't mean they went away.

Maybe you're better at burying them than most people, but if you were starving, do you really

think they wouldn't take over?"

"If it were Ellie, I wouldn't let them! I'd rather die."

"Well, I'm not going to tell you that you shouldn't be willing to die for your friend. That's

up to you, but I wouldn't be ready to sacrifice my life for a rabbit."

Jason didn't know how to respond further. He thought it was time to get off of this

disturbing topic, and he definitely wasn't going to include this conversation in the details when

Ellie wanted to know how his date had gone. Fortunately, he was rescued by the waiter, a stoat

in a long mauve vest.

"Are you ready to order?" she asked.

"Sorry, I'm going to need a few more minutes," Jason answered.

"Can I get you anything to drink besides water?"

"I'll have your cabernet sauvignon," Rosa replied.

"I'll have a glass of that as well, thanks," Jason added.

He spent the next few minutes looking at the menu. He finally decided on the lasagna.

When the stoat returned, he ordered that while Rosa ordered the chicken parmesan.

"So why don't you tell me something fun about yourself?" Rosa suggested. "Like, what

was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?"

I'm definitely not ready to tell her about why I dropped out of the police academy yet. It's

far from a 'fun' story anyway. He tried to think of something else. "Okay, uh, this was back when

I was in grade school. We were studying river ecosystems in science class, and we took a trip

down to the river to see it firsthand. Anyway, I got too close to the edge, and the bank gave way.

When I fell in the water, I thought I was going to drown. I was yowling and thrashing around, and

Mr. Greenwald, our teacher who was a red squirrel, had to jump in and pull me out. The thing

was that the water was hardly moving and only as high as my knees, which became obvious

when he jumped in, so everyone laughed."

"I take it you're not fond of water."

"I hate getting wet," he confirmed.

"I suppose you wash yourself with your tongue then."

"Uh, yeah, that's right," he admitted a bit nervously.

"I think that's pretty typical for cats. I like a nice soak in the tub myself."

Jason smiled in relief. "I'm glad that doesn't bother you. When Ellie found out, she was

so horrified that she made me take a shower immediately. It was terrible."

Rosa gave him a confused look, "How did she do that?"

"Well, I was staying in her apartment at the time. She only had to drag me from the

bedroom to the bathroom."

Rosa's eyes widened, "Oh?"

"Ah, okay, I see how that sounds. Uh, it's a bit of an embarrassing story as well actually.

See, last week I was working on a case, and I worked myself to exhaustion. Fitzie and Ellie had

to drag me to her place to recover."

"So then she took advantage of your incapacitated state to give you a shower? That

seems kind of mean."

"Er, no, I was pretty well by the time she made me take a shower. I could have resisted,

but I didn't want to fight about it."

Rosa shook her head, "I see why you went with the story about falling in the river. If I'd

let a rabbit less than half my size put me through something I hated, I wouldn't want to tell

anyone about it either."

Jason felt his ears getting hot and flicked them. He hadn't intended that to be the

embarrassing part of the story. The waiter returned with their wine, so he let it end there, taking

a sip of his. Rosa sipped hers too.

"It's only fair that I tell you at least one embarrassing story after you told both of those.

Let's see. Uh, okay, when I was in grade school, I liked to eat my pencils. Then I'd get in trouble

for not having any, so I started stealing other students' pencils during recess. Our teacher, Mrs.

Blaker, got suspicious about all of the pencils going missing and set up a camera to record the

room. Then she played the tape for the whole class. I was mortified."

"I can imagine. That sounds like an awful experience. She could have reviewed the tape

herself and talked to you in private instead of resorting to public shaming."

"It taught me a lesson though. I didn't eat anyone's pencils after that. Anyway, I don't

think it even comes close to your story, so I guess you win."

Jason wasn't sure it was a contest he'd wanted to win. "You said you work in marketing,

right? What for?"

"Buukomart, you know, the supermarket. I don't expect you to be interested, so you don't

need to pretend to be. It'd be weird if you were, honestly."

"Erhem, right." With that topic exhausted, Jason wasn't sure what to bring up next.

Maybe he should take Ellie's advice and bring up the carnivore cults, but after her comments on

instincts and tiptoeing around herbivores, he didn't think Rosa would be very receptive. She'd

probably consider it prey hysteria.

The waiter brought their dinners, so Jason pretended to be very intent on his in hopes

that she'd bring up a new topic. However, Rosa seemed content to eat in silence.

"Are you enjoying yours?" he asked after they'd been eating a few minutes.

Rosa swallowed a bite, "It's delicious as always. How about yours?"

"It's excellent." Another topic exhausted.

They ate quietly a few more minutes before Jason tried again.

"Have you, uh, dated a cat before?"

"No, I dated a fox once, but otherwise I've always dated canines. Have you dated a dog

before?"

Jason shook his head, "No, my last girlfriend was a bobcat, and before that there were

just a couple of cats I dated briefly in high school."

"I'm a huge change for you then, huh?" She grinned. "We'll be figuring out how this cat

and dog thing works together. It's kind of exciting."

Jason smiled too, "Yeah, I guess it is."

Jason decided that if she was comfortable eating in silence, he wouldn't try to force

conversation again. He focused on his food but occasionally looked up to see how his date was

faring. He noticed that she cut her food into dainty bites and seemed to enjoy each thoroughly. It

was very different from his admittedly limited experiences with other dogs, who he had observed

tended to wolf down their food.

When they had finished eating, the stoat returned to collect their plates. "Would you like

any dessert?" she inquired.

"I'll have the vanilla cake," Rosa answered.

The stoat looked at Jason.

"Uh, none for me, thanks."

The stoat left, and Rosa frowned at him.

"Now I'm going to feel like a pig eating cake in front of you."

"Sorry, I never eat dessert," Jason explained. "Don't worry about it. I'm used to Ellie

eating sweet stuff in front of me all the time."

The stoat returned with Rosa's cake, and left again.

"Are you sure you don't want some?" Rosa asked.

"No thanks. Cats can't really taste sweetness, so I wouldn't really enjoy it."

"I didn't know that! It's awful that you miss out on so many foods!"

Jason shrugged, "It's not really good for us anyway, so I guess it just removes the

temptation to eat what we shouldn't."

"I guess," Rosa answered skeptically. She ate a bite of her cake.

While Rosa was still enjoying her cake, the stoat returned with the bill. Jason tried not to

grimace at the price. I should have skipped the wine.

He looked at Rosa. "Did you want to split the bill?"

"You can take care of it."

Jason frowned, "I think it would be more fair if we split it," he amended.

"Okay."

"We'd like to split the bill," Jason told the stoat when she returned.

She punched a few buttons then scanned each of their left hands. "Have a good night.

Hope to see you back again soon," she stated before taking Rosa's empty cake plate and

leaving.

I guess the date is over. Jason scooted out his chair, and looked at Rosa, "Well, uh, it's

been-"

"Why don't you come back to my house for a little while?" Rosa suggested.

Jason's eyes went wide, and his ears felt warm. "Uh, well uh, I don't know if-"

"Relax, kitty cat. I'm not going to bite you, and I wasn't suggesting we have sex yet

either. I thought it would be nice to chat more in a more private setting."

Jason felt a wave of relief, "Okay, that would be nice."

She pulled a pen and scrap of paper out her tote and wrote down her address. "In case,

we get separated during the drive," she stated as she slid it to him.

He took the paper, and they both stood up. He followed her out to the door.

"My car is right over there," she told him, nodding down the street to the right.

"My office is close, so I walked over. You can go ahead, and I'll be behind you in a few

minutes."

"Okay, see you when you get there then." She turned and trotted to her car.

Jason started the other way back to the office building. The sun was partially obscured

by clouds as it dipped below the rooftops, and there were dark clouds moving in from the North.

Jason frowned at the clouds worriedly. The forecast this morning had said there was a chance

of severe thunderstorms tonight. The loud thunder always stressed him out. He returned to the

parking garage, put the address into his GPS, and drove to Rosa's house.

Rosa's house was constructed of red bricks and had a forest green front door and roof,

which appeared to be painted metal. When Jason pulled into the driveway, he thought the

house looked rather large. At the door he soon realized that the house was indeed not

constructed for a person of his size: he had to jump to reach the doorbell. Is this the right place?

Rosa answered the door, still wearing the red dress.

"Your house is so big!" Jason commented.

"Yeah, it's suitable for a much larger dog. It's good for when my other dog friends visit.

They don't have to worry about hitting their heads on the doorways."

She led him into the entryway. Wood stairs extended upward to the right, and the floor

was also made of varnished wood.

"There's a bathroom to the left if you need it," she told him.

He shook his head.

"The living room is back this way then." She led him through a short hall straight back

from the entryway.

At the end there were three doorways. The doorway to the left led to the black tile

floored kitchen while the one straight ahead held a long dining table with eight chairs, and the

doorway to the right led to the red-violet carpeted living room. Rosa led him into the living room

and sat on the large dark brown sofa. There were a few other mismatched pieces of furniture of

various sizes spread around the room including a small light blue armchair, a large purple

recliner, and a dark walnut rocking chair. The walls were painted dark gray with windows along

the left and back sides, and the room was lit primarily by a dome-shaped light fixture in the

middle of the white ceiling; though, there were also tall stainless-steel lamps with gray shades

standing by the armchair and recliner. Rosa patted the cushion next to her, and Jason followed

her over to jump up onto the couch.

"You must like to entertain," he remarked.

Rosa nodded, "I like to hang out with my friends on the weekends. We take turns

hosting. I'll have to introduce you to them before too long." She smirked, "They're going to be

pretty surprised when they find out I'm dating a cat."

Being in a room with a bunch of surprised dogs, some of whom would undoubtedly be

much larger than him if the size of the furniture was anything to go by, was not something Jason

was looking forward to.

"Ellie told me I'd have to introduce you to her soon too."

"Fair enough," Rosa replied. "What about your other friends? I know you mentioned at

least one other. What are they?"

"Fitzie is a ferret, and he's about it actually. I've never had a big group of friends that I

hung out with."

"At least, of two friends, one of them is another carnivore," Rosa commented.

Jason blinked, "Why does that matter?"

"It would just be weird if you spent all your time with a bunch of herbivores."

Jason frowned, "Why?"

"It would be like, like you were ashamed to be a carnivore and were overcompensating

for it."

Jason didn't see how that would be the case. It wasn't like he went out trying to make

friends of particular species. He made friends with the people around him who he found he

connected with. It's definitely a good thing I didn't bring up the carnivore cults. Rosa might have

taken his assertion that they existed as some kind of self-loathing.

"If all or most of your friends are dogs, what does that mean? That you're really proud to

be a dog?"

"I am. Aren't you proud to be a cat?"

"I'm comfortable with it. But then if you date a cat, does that mean you're less proud to

be a dog?"

Rosa frowned, "No, but that's just one cat among many friends. It would be different if

every one of my friends were a cat."

"Then it would suggest you were ashamed to be a dog and would rather be a cat?"

"Yeah."

Jason shook his head, "I guess we just fundamentally disagree on what your friends say

about you."

"So then you think that a cat with a dozen rabbit friends and no others isn't ashamed to

be a cat and doesn't wish they were a rabbit?"

"I wouldn't make that assumption, no."

Rosa grinned, "I knew that dating a cat would mean getting to know someone with

different perspectives, but I didn't think we'd have such different perspectives when it came to

prey. It's really interesting!"

Jason was less happy that they disagreed on what he viewed as basic principles of

interspecies friendships, but he guessed that it was good that Rosa viewed it more as a point of

interest than a reason for animosity.

"So what else did you want to talk about?" Jason asked.

"How about your past relationships? Were any of them serious?"

"The one with the bobcat was very serious. I thought it was going to last the rest of my

life until it didn't. She ended it, but it was my fault too."

"Ouch, it must have been hard breaking up with someone who you were that committed

to," she replied sympathetically.

Jason nodded.

"Have you ever thought about trying to get back together with her?"

"I used to wish I could, but that was a long time ago. I still see her occasionally, but I feel

like I hardly know her anymore."

"How long ago was it that you broke up with her?"

"Uh, it must be over five years now."

Surprised, "Five years! Didn't you say that was your last relationship?"

"Uh, yeah, it was," he admitted.

"So all this time you've been doing what? Just keeping busy with work? Moping about

your breakup?"

"Focusing on work. If you ask Ellie, she'll probably tell you it's the moping."

"Maybe 'Ellie' is right. I've had some bad breakups, but none kept me from looking for a

new partner for more than a few months."

"It's a little hypocritical coming from Ellie. I can't remember her having more than a

couple of brief relationships the entire time I've known her."

"How long has that been?"

"Five years, almost exactly."

"Also five years? Before or after you broke up with the bobcat?"

"A little while after."

"And Ellie is, uh, just your friend?"

"She's also my business partner. She's the reason I decided to become a private

investigator actually."

"Which means you're with her several hours, what, five days a week?"

He nodded. Then he remembered his and Ellie's plans and amended it. "I guess it might

actually be six days a week going forward. Ellie and I decided it might be nice to meet up on

Saturdays to do some non-work related stuff."

Rosa looked at him silently for a few seconds. "So the rabbit who you'd be willing to die

for, who you bring up at every turn, who you'll let torment you, who you spend more waking

hours with than most married couples probably spend together, is just your friend and business

partner." She punctuated her summary with a dubious look.

Jason shifted uncomfortably under her prying gaze. "I, uh, don't know what you want me

to say. We're close friends."

"So the two of you have never had sex, huh?" she asked bluntly.

"No! I'm not attracted to rabbits!"

She nodded, seeming satisfied. "It sounds like she's lucky to have you as a friend. If you

ever care about me that much, I'll know we have something special."

Jason almost protested that he was the lucky one to have Ellie as a friend, but he

realized that wouldn't exactly reassure Rosa that he wasn't in love with Ellie. Which he wasn't.

Right? He suddenly felt the need to reassure himself. He looked at Rosa: she was an attractive

dog, someone he could easily see himself in a romantic relationship with. He leaned toward her

and rubbed his cheek against hers.

"Oh, so that's the cheeking thing cats do when they like you!" she said, sounding

pleased. She leaned toward him, nuzzled his left ear, and then gave it a lick.

The lick sent tingles down his left side, and her tongue left a wet, slimy feeling. Jason

resisted the urge to wipe it off.

She ran a hand down his chest. "You're so sleek, and your fur is so soft," she

complimented. She wrapped her right arm around his back and laid her head on his shoulder.

"You smell nice too."

Jason breathed her scent and immediately wished he hadn't. Though it was masked by

some floral fragrance, he could still smell her underlying dog smell, a sickly musk that reminded

him of damp dirty laundry. He held back a gag: it wasn't her fault she smelled like a dog. At least

she hasn't smeared anything gross on herself. He put his left arm around her and tried to enjoy

her closeness and warmth. It was easier when it was someone he was more comfortable

around, like Ellie.

Rosa sat up and slid off the couch. "Let me just take this awkward thing off." She turned

her back toward him. "Can you get the zipper?"

He unzipped the back, and she pulled the dress down and stepped out of it before

climbing back onto the couch.

She narrowed her eyes and grinned, "Now where were we, kitty cat?"

She grabbed his tie and pulled him down onto his back before lying beside him, facing

him on her side. Still holding his tie, she scooted forward until her mouth was level with his ear.

She reached her arms up to hold his head between her hands and began to gently gnaw and

lick his left ear. He grimaced as his ear was soaked with her drool. He tried to sit up to pull his

head away, but she held it firmly.

"Don't be scared, kitty cat. I won't bite you," she crooned.

Jason was afraid to use force to get away with her teeth around his ear, so he endured

the unpleasant experience. After what seemed like several minutes, she rolled herself so that

she was partly on top of him with her chest against his left shoulder. She licked him from his

nose up between his eyes then smiled down at him while rubbing his cheeks with her hands.

"I like you, kitty cat. Will you be my kitty cat?" she murmured.

"Well, uh, I, um-"

"Shh, just say, 'Yes,'."

"I, uh, have to use the bathroom," he lied.

She let him go and sat up. "Don't be long. I'll be waiting for your answer."

Jason hurried out into the entryway and headed for the front door. He'd made a mistake

trying to date a dog: they were too smelly and far too drooly. He stood on his tiptoes to reach

the handle and pulled open the door.

CRACK-BOOM! Lightning turned the darkness into blinding light and thunder shook the

sky, immediately followed by a deluge of rain. Jason jumped, slammed the door, and dashed

back to the living room, looking for a place to hide.

"Oh no! Did the thunder scare you?" Rosa asked, concerned. She slid off the couch and

ran up to wrap her arms around him. "Poor kitty cat. Come back to the couch. I'll protect you."

She led him back up onto the couch, where she lay him on his back and lay beside him,

holding his head against her chest. She stroked his head with her left hand while holding it with

her right arm. There was another close explosion of thunder, and he started.

"Shh, you're okay. I've got you." She nuzzled him between the ears.

The rain pounded against the metal roof, and the booming and rumbling continued.

There didn't seem to be much sign of the storm letting up. Jason didn't want to go outside in the

storm, but he also didn't want to stay.

Rosa seemed to sense his distress and tried to comfort him, "Don't worry, kitty cat. I

won't make you go out in the storm. You can sleep on my couch if you need to."

At length, her stroking and the sound of her gentle breathing did begin to soothe Jason's

nerves. He even realized that he didn't notice her smell as much as he had at first. Maybe he

had been too hasty to dismiss her. She was obviously quite attracted to him, and he could ask

her not to put his ear in her mouth again. He turned his head to nuzzle her chest then leaned his

head back to look up at her. She was smiling at him affectionately, her brown eyes half closed.

"Are you feeling better now?" she asked.

"Yes, thank you."

She sat up, and he sat up too.

"So have you decided on your answer?" she inquired.

"To what?"

"Whether you'll be my kitty cat."

"For a while at least, to see where our relationship leads."

"Good, then I'd like you to hold me now." She nodded toward the end of the couch.

"Lean against the arm."

He scooted to the end of the couch and turned to sit with his back against the arm of the

couch. She followed him over, squeezed in between his legs, and sat back with her head

against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, and she sighed contentedly and closed her

eyes. It had been a long time since Jason had held someone so intimately. He watched her

chest rise and fall and took in the comforting warmth of her body pressed against his. Warm

affection for the dog began to rise in his chest, and he hugged her closer. She sighed happily,

and he bent his head down to wash the top of her head, licking between and around her ears

before grooming the ears themselves. As he washed, he began to purr contentedly.

She opened her eyes, "I never thought I'd have a cat purr for me. I'm glad I met you,

Jason."

She closed her eyes again, settled back even more contentedly, and reached her right

hand up and grasped his left hand. After Jason had finished washing the top of her head, he

sniffed her: she smelled more familiar now infused with part of his own scent. Her chest was

rising and falling rhythmically, and he couldn't tell if she was awake or asleep. He watched her a

while longer then closed his own eyes, just focusing on her warmth and closeness.

He wasn't sure whether he fell asleep or not, but he suddenly noticed that the sounds of

the storm had stopped. He nuzzled Rosa's head.

"Rosa, the storm has stopped. I think I should be heading home," he murmured.

She opened her eyes. "What was that?" she asked sleepily.

"The storm's over. I should go home."

She nodded, "Alright."

She put her hands on his legs and pushed herself up to get her feet underneath her. She

stood and stretched. Jason couldn't help but notice the close view it gave him of her butt.

She turned her head to look at him slyly, "Maybe next time, kitty cat," she teased.

She hopped off of the couch, and Jason turned to slide off himself. She led him to the

front door then turned and took him by the arms.

"Thanks so much for coming, Jason. I can't wait to see you again!" She licked him on the

nose.

Jason rubbed his cheek against hers. "I'll be looking forward to our next date too."

She let go of him and turned to open the door, standing on tiptoes to reach the handle.

Jason stepped out into the cool, cloudy night. Only the light from the doorway and a

neighbor's porch light lit the wet driveway.

He turned to wave before heading to his car at the end of the driveway, "Goodnight,

Rosa."

"Goodnight, Jason."

As he backed the car out of the driveway, he could see Rosa still watching, silhouetted

in the doorway. Tomorrow he was hanging out with Ellie, and he was glad that he would be able

to tell her his date had gone well.

* * *

The hare, Harvey, was already waiting when Ellie arrived at the Ethiopian restaurant. He

had the typical brown and white fur and black-tipped ears and was wearing a gray blazer. She

noticed that there were already a pair of salads at the table.

"Hi, have you been here long?" she asked.

He glanced at his wristwatch, "Twelve minutes."

"Sorry, I see you ordered us salads."

He bobbed his head, "I went ahead and ordered our meals as well. We don't want to be

late for the movie."

Ellie blinked. She tried to keep the annoyance out of her voice, "What did you order?"

"The atkilt and the shiro. If you don't like one, I'll eat that one, or we can share because

you eat it with the injera."

"Yes, I'm aware. I've been here before." She sat across from him in the green painted

aluminum chair at the small maple table, placing her satchel in her lap.

The small restaurant was brightly lit by two large bay windows out onto the sidewalk and

by bright lights in blue broad cone-shaped fixtures that hung from the white ceiling. The walls

were also painted white and the floor was worn and sandy colored wood. The dining area

contained a couple other small tables and two larger tables; all but one small table were

occupied. Ellie took a bite of her salad, which was lettuce and carrots with some sweet, citrusy

vinaigrette.

"So remind me, you work for a bank, right?" she asked.

"Garmann Brothers, yes."

"Garmann Brothers! You wouldn't be interested in meeting a cat who'll really sink her

claws into you, would you?"

He looked at her aghast. "Pits of Tartarus, no! Why would you even ask that?!"

Ellie grinned, "Just a bit of a joke, sorry."

He stared at her disapprovingly, "There's nothing funny about getting ripped to shreds by

a cat."

Ellie frowned, "I wasn't suggesting 'ripped to shreds', but whatever." She ate another bite

of salad. "So, what movie are we going to?"

"I want it to be a surprise."

"Surprises are fun, but I don't see what the difference is going to be if you tell me now or

if I hear you say, 'Two for Such-and-such.' at the ticket counter."

"Fine, we're going to A Summertime Fancy."

"What's that?"

"If you've never heard of it, then that can be the surprise."

Ellie hoped it would be a good surprise, but the banal title wasn't promising. "Okay, uh,

do you listen to any podcasts?"

"Podcasts?"

"I'll take that as a no. A podcast is a recorded discussion. It's often audio only. You can

find people who discuss all kinds of interesting things. My favorite is Cat and Mouse Cast."

"Interesting," he said with obvious disinterest.

Ellie frowned. She'd remembered him being more conversable at the speed dating. "Do

you like to read then? Anything I should check out?"

"Peter Pan," he answered emphatically. "I've read it a dozen times, and I find more

wisdom in it every time."

Talk about red flags. Maybe he was nice despite being certifiable. Ellie decided it was

time to take her own advice. Bringing up the carnivore cults has to lead to some interesting

conversation, and if the guy who thinks an incoherent mess is an endless fount of wisdom thinks

I'm nuts, it's no real loss. "Have you ever heard about the carnivore cults who kidnap prey to kill

and eat them?"

He sniffed contemptuously. "Yes, a disgusting fabrication. To think some prey still hate

our predator brethren so much that they'll invent horrific stories to smear them. You know

they're nonsense, I trust."

"Well, I don't want to disagree with your sentiment, but it was my friend, a cat, who told

me that they do exist. He said he studied the evidence, and it's overwhelming."

Harvey scoffed, "His Majesty says they don't exist. Your friend must be mistaken."

"So what happened to all the prey who have gone missing?"

"They may very well have been murdered, but no one eats anyone anymore. That would

be absurd."

"Irrational people exist though. What makes you think something being absurd stops

irrational people from doing it?"

He frowned grumpily. "Very well, it may happen very rarely, but it's not being carried out

by any organized cults. His Majesty says so, and he would know."

"Don't you think it's possible the King could be lying?"

Harvey's eyes went wide.

"I'm not saying he'd do it for nefarious reasons," she added quickly. "But maybe he'd lie

if he thought the truth would cause public panic."

"His Majesty wouldn't lie!" he insisted furiously.

Ellie decided the discussion wasn't going to get any further. "You have a lot of respect

for the King, huh?"

Harvey nodded fervently. "His Majesty is Vulpineva. We'd be lost without his guidance."

"I've always been under the impression that our elected representatives actually decided

policy."

"But His Majesty guides them! They may respond to the whims of the day, but His

Majesty sees the context of history and ensures that Vulpineva doesn't stray from its path."

The waiter, a fox squirrel in a short-sleeve button-up black blouse printed with red roses,

stepped up to their table and set down their dishes. "Enjoy your meal!"

Ellie took a break from conversation with the nutty hare to eat. At least what he ordered

is good. She still would have liked to be able to make her own choice.

After they'd been eating a few minutes, Harvey spoke again, "So one of your friends is a

cat, yes? That's very good; His Majesty encourages that sort of thing, showing by example that

we're a united people."

Ellie thought it was a strange way to look at things, but she guessed it was better than

the opposite. "So do you have predator friends then?"

He nodded, "Several, we're a very diverse group at Garmann Brothers, and we all go out

for drinks once a month. I have great rapport with almost everyone at the bank."

"Sounds nice. Jason (That's his name.) and I are meeting to hang out tomorrow and just

do whatever: go for a walk, play cards, share a meal, cuddle up to watch a movie, whatever we

want."

Harvey was nodding approvingly but froze when she said 'cuddle.' "The two of you

cuddle?!"

Ellie blinked. "It's only friendly; you don't need to be jealous or anything."

He shook his head, "His Majesty says friendships between predators and prey should be

respectful not fetishistic."

Ellie gawked at him, "It's not fetishistic!" she shot back indignantly. "But even if it were,

it's none of the King's business!"

Harvey stared at her in horror, "The moral purity of Vulpineva is nothing but His

Majesty's business."

This guy is a total wacko. Ellie looked away from him and went back to eating grumpily.

She really didn't want to go to the movie with him at this point and hoped he'd get the hint that

the date wasn't going well. However, he apparently didn't get the hint because once they'd

finished eating and he'd insisted on paying the full bill, which Ellie was fine with considering she

hadn't even been allowed to order, he looked at his watch.

"If we leave now, we should arrive in time for the start of the movie," he declared.

"I think I'd rather go home," Ellie told him bluntly.

He looked at her in shock, "W-why?!"

"Well for one, you called my affection for my friend fetishistic. That was pretty gross," she

reprimanded.

His expression shifted from shock to desperate contrition. "I'm sorry! If you say there's

nothing improper, then I believe you! Please come to the movie with me. You'll love it, I promise!

Or let me know how I can make it up to you!"

Ellie grimaced: his pathetic pleading made her feel rather sorry for him. He's such a

fanatic on so many weird issues that he probably never makes it all the way through a date. She

sighed frustratedly, "Okay, I'll go to the movie."

"Thank you!" He took her right hand and kissed it.

Ellie rolled her eyes. The movie had better be good, or she was never calling him again.

Realistically, that was the case even if it were a masterpiece. He led her outside and nodded to

the black sedan just outside of the restaurant.

"Here's my car. Where's yours?"

"My office is in downtown. I just walked over. I can go get mine and meet you at the

theater if it's too far to walk."

He frowned and looked at his watch, "There's no time for that. You'll have to ride with

me."

Ellie frowned, "I'd rather drive myself. I'll make it quick if I need to."

He shook his head, "We have to leave now, or we'll be late."

Ellie sighed exasperatedly, "Fine."

He unlocked the car, and she climbed into the passenger's seat. His car was heavily

scented by pine air fresheners. Ellie wrinkled her nose; she hoped the drive was short.

As with the rest of the date, Ellie was disappointed. They got onto 275 and drove South

for twenty minutes before exiting in what appeared to be farmland. On the desolate two-lane

road through the fields, there was a gas station and, for some reason, a movie theater. The sign

out front read Jewel Cinema.

"Wasn't there a closer theater we could have gone to?" she complained.

"This is the only theater it was showing at in the entire duchy," he explained.

She climbed out of the car, taking her bag, and he led her inside. The theater was run

down and dingy. The red carpet was worn and the movie posters faded. Several of the lights

above the ticket and snack counter were burned out. A weasel in an ill-fitting maroon jacket with

brass buttons was standing boredly behind the counter. No other patrons were present.

"Two for A Summertime Fancy," Harvey enunciated.

The weasel listlessly scanned his hand and handed him their tickets. Ellie followed

Harvey back to the theater, which seemed to be one of only two. The room was already dark,

but the light of the screen showed that there was no one else present. At least we can sit

wherever we want. They sat next to each other in the middle of the empty theater. Ellie noticed

holes in the vinyl covered cushions of the seats. Even the screen looked dirty. There didn't

seem to be much point in turning off her tablet, but she did it anyway.

After a few minutes, an ad for the local chiropractor started playing. Then it played again.

And again. And yet again. Is this the only ad they could get?! Ellie felt like her brain was being

microwaved. How many times do we have to watch this? The answer was six. Ellie almost

cheered with relief as the movie's title flashed on the screen. The film began abruptly: a young

white female rabbit in fancy dress was twirling through a field of red clover whilst a young gray

male rabbit in overalls watched her, chewing on the leaves. They fall in love. Their parents

disapprove and try to stop them. Against all odds, they get together, but then one of them dies,

Ellie silently predicted. The film proved to be incredibly slow, but every minute made Ellie more

confident that the movie was following this hackneyed romance plot. She started to doze off.

She gave Harvey a sidelong glance: he was watching the movie intently. I guess leaving isn't an

option. Ellie closed her eyes.

The next thing she knew, Harvey was shaking her shoulder.

"Ellie! Are you okay?!"

She opened her eyes: the screen was black, and the lights were on. "Which of them

died?" she asked.

Harvey sniffed, and Ellie noticed that there were tears glistening in his eyes. "They both

did," he answered thickly.

Damn, I got that part wrong. "Well, I guess it's time to head back then. I'll give you the

address of my office."

"How much of it did you see?" he asked peevishly.

"I don't know; maybe half an hour. I couldn't get into it."

He glared at her angrily, "It was beautiful! How could you not enjoy it?!"

"I'm not really into romances to start with. If you'd let me know what it was, I could have

suggested we go see something a little more intense."

He turned and stalked out of the theater. Ellie followed him. He proceeded outside and

climbed into his car. It was raining heavily with the occasional distant flash of lightning and

boom of thunder. Ellie dashed through the downpour and tried to open the passenger door, but

it was locked.

"Hey, you need to unlock the door," she yelled.

He gave her a contemptuous look, started the car, and began to drive away. Ellie had to

jump back to save her feet from the wheels. She watched flabbergasted as he pulled out onto

the street and disappeared into the darkness. Already thoroughly soaked, Ellie stumbled back

into the theater in shock. How was she going to get home now? She slumped onto the floor and

pulled out her tablet to call Jason. She only got his voicemail. Of course since he never has his

phone on him.

"Hi, Jason. This is Ellie. I'm stranded at a movie theater in the middle of nowhere. It's

called Jewel Cinema. It's about twenty minutes South on two seventy-five, maybe longer with

you driving. When you get this, please come pick me up. Thanks." She hung up the call.

The weasel was staring at her boredly. "We're closing in ten minutes," he informed her

lethargically.

"Does that mean I can't stay inside?"

He nodded slowly. Shit. After ten minutes, the weasel shut off the lights above the

counter and sluggishly dragged himself over to look down at Ellie.

"You need to leave now," he muttered.

"It's cold and raining outside!" Ellie protested.

The weasel shrugged, "Sit under the overhang."

Ellie got up and pushed out the door. She guessed she was fortunate that there at least

was an overhang between the door and the parking lot where she could avoid most of the rain,

but the sidewalk underneath was still wet from some rain blowing in. Ellie crouched in the most

protected corner, clutching her satchel. The weasel shut off the rest of the lights and came

outside to lock the door. He glanced at Ellie, shrugged, and proceeded to his car. Ellie watched

as he drove away. She was all alone. The only light aside from the flashes of lightning was from

the gas station at least half a mile away. She was wet, cold, and alone in the dark. She shivered

as a gust of wind sprayed her with rain. Should she try to make it to the gas station? Should she

try to flag someone down on the road? Either could be dangerous. Who knew who she might

meet wandering around in the middle of nowhere at night? Most likely no one. But still she felt

horribly exposed. Anyone might creep up on her in the darkness. Her heart pumped rapidly, and

her eyes darted around the darkness, trying to make out any approaching danger. It's no use

scaring yourself! she silently scolded. She took a deep breath and tried to relax. Jason would

get her message and be here to get her. Ellie waited for what seemed like half an hour. She

pulled out her tablet and dialed Jason again: she still got his voicemail.

"Hi Jason. It's Ellie. Please listen to my first message. I need you to come pick me up.

Thanks." She hung up. Maybe I should call Joe. She dialed his number.

He picked it up, "Ellie? What do you want?"

"Joe! I'm stranded at a theater in the middle of nowhere! Can you come pick me up?"

There was a pause. "I'm sorry, El. You know I don't have a car."

"Can you try to get someone who does to help?"

"Why don't you get the cat to help?" he grumbled.

"I already tried him. Twice!"

"So much for being able to rely on him, eh? Promise you'll take my advice and stop

spending time with that monster outside of work, and I'll find someone to come get you."

"Fuck you, Joe!" She hung up. Who else? Tom? She only had Tom's work number; he

probably wouldn't get her message until Monday. It seemed she'd just have to wait and keep

trying Jason.

Ellie tried Jason thrice more as she waited. She kept checking the time on her tablet. An

hour rolled by. Then two. Then three. Finally, the rain stopped. It might make sense to head for

the gas station now. Ellie decided to wait just a little bit longer before she made the trek. About

ten minutes later the ringtone started playing. She opened it: it was Jason's number.

She answered it, "Jason?!"

"Ellie! I just got your messages! I looked up the address, and I'm on my way! Are you

alright?"

"Cold and wet, but otherwise I'm fine."

"I'll try to be as quick as I can. Just hold tight." The line hung up.

Ellie breathed a sigh of relief; Jason was on his way.

He must have driven faster than usual because it was only fifteen minutes before his car

pulled into the parking lot. He climbed out, and Ellie ran to him to wrap him in a hug. He hugged

her back tightly.

"What happened?" he asked. "I don't see your car. Was it stolen?"

"It's still at the office. My date abandoned me because I didn't like the movie!"

"He what?!" Jason hugged her tighter. "I'd like to give him a few things to think about!

Like whether the claws on my right hand are sharper than the ones on my left!"

"He's not worth it, Jason. He turned out to be a complete wacko."

Ellie broke away and went to retrieve her bag before climbing into the car with Jason.

The glowing blue numbers of the clock on the dashboard read 12:30.

"Should I take you to get your car or just take you straight home?" Jason asked.

"You know, technically it's already Saturday. Why don't you just take me home with you

since it's so late?"

"Uh, okay."

Jason cranked up the heat in the car to help Ellie dry off and began the drive to his

house. The warmth made Ellie sleepy, but she didn't allow herself to fall asleep.

"Thanks so much for coming to get me, Jason. I don't know what I would have done."

"I'm just sorry it took me so long. I ended up staying with Rosa longer than I expected.

Ellie grinned, "Does that mean the date went well?"

"Yes, you could say that."

"I'm so pleased, Jason! Someone as nice as you shouldn't be alone!"

"As long as I have you, I'll never be alone, Ellie."

Ellie felt the warm glow of affection in her chest, "That's sweet, Jason, but you know

what I mean, someone to love. Our relationship is special, but you should have someone to

love, not just your friend and partner."

Jason didn't respond further. Ellie turned to watch him. In the dim light, his expression

was hard to make out, but he seemed to be contemplating something. She reached over to

stroke his back.

"But you're right, even if you don't have someone to love, you'll always have me."

When they arrived at Jason's house, Ellie followed him inside.

"I'll get blankets for the futon. There should be new toothbrushes behind the mirror in the

bathroom. Are you going to take a shower?" he asked.

"It's a little late to shower, but I do want to brush my teeth, thanks."

Ellie headed upstairs to the bathroom, opened a new toothbrush, and brushed her teeth.

The toothpaste tasted weird; she looked at the tube. Catnip flavored? Hopefully, Jason didn't try

to eat it. She removed her light blue blouse and dropped it in the white wicker clothes hamper.

Jason likes doing laundry. He'll take care of it. She headed back downstairs and found that

Jason had laid down the back of the futon and was putting sheets on it.

"What about a pillow?" she asked.

"Sorry, I didn't have an extra one."

"That's okay. You weren't planning for me to spend the night."

After he finished making the bed, Jason turned to her. "It's late. I'm going to turn in. See

you in the morning, Ellie."

Ellie nodded, "Sweet dreams, and thank you again!"

Jason went upstairs. Ellie located the switch, turned out the light, and crawled onto the

futon. It was comfortable enough, but she would have been more comfortable with a pillow. She

listened as Jason brushed his teeth. Then the lights went out upstairs. As Ellie's eyes adjusted,

she was able to see by the blue glowing clock of the DVD player. At length, the sounds from

upstairs ceased, suggesting that Jason had gone to sleep.

Ellie closed her own eyes to try to fall asleep, but she couldn't seem to get comfortable.

A gurgle from her gut reminded her that she hadn't passed her caecotrophs. Shit. Maybe she

should have had Jason take her home, but it was too late to think about that now. She was just

glad Jason's bedroom was upstairs where her movements would be less likely to disturb him.

She slipped off of the futon and crept to the kitchen. There was a plate in the drying rack; she

grabbed it and snuck upstairs to the bathroom. On the way, she stopped to peer into Jason's

bedroom. He seemed to be asleep. Is he holding something? She squinted. He did have a

second pillow! Stingy cat! She continued to the bathroom. After she completed the messy meal,

she washed her hands and the plate thoroughly in the bathroom sink. Then she brushed her

teeth again and gargled with water; Jason didn't seem to have mouthwash. Finally, she took the

plate back to the kitchen and washed it again with dish soap. She still wasn't sure Jason would

ever want to use the plate again. She considered dropping it on the floor to break it, but then

Jason would wonder what she had been doing with it in the first place. She slipped it back into

the drying rack. What Jason didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

That being taken care of, Ellie decided to slip upstairs and try to steal the extra pillow.

She crept up the stairs and into Jason's bedroom. She examined the cat further. He had both

arms wrapped around the pillow with one end tucked under his chin. However, he seemed to be

holding it loosely. On the other hand, he was facing the middle of the large bed; Ellie would

have to climb onto it to reach the pillow. She eased herself up onto the bed. The springs

creaked, and she froze. Jason didn't stir. She slowly crawled across the bed and stopped

beside the sleeping cat. He still didn't move. She grabbed the bottom of the pillow and slowly

pulled it out of his arms. The pillow came free, and Jason's arms collapsed into the space where

it had been. Ellie held the pillow, watching to see if Jason had been awoken: he didn't stir. She

grinned. Now she just needed to slip off of the bed and back downstairs.

She looked at the large bed: there was plenty of room for both of them, and she was

tired. She'd had enough sneaking through the house. She put the pillow at the head of the bed

and crawled up to slide under the blankets. She lay on her back and turned her head to look at

the sleeping cat; he was going to get a bit of a surprise in the morning. She turned her head

back, closed her eyes, and snuggled deeper into the blankets. The pillow smelled strongly of

cat. Even on Jason, the cat smell was usually moderate, but in the pillow, it was strong enough

that Ellie could detect a certain tanginess to the odor. She was unsure whether she should be

disturbed. Probably just from him holding it all the time. The scent itself didn't bother her, so she

settled her mind to allow sleep to take her.

Ellie was awoken by the feeling of a hand running across her chest. She opened her

eyes and saw Jason reaching over her. His eyes were still closed, and he seemed to still be half

asleep. Before she could slip away, his hand found her far side, and he pulled her across the

bed, slipping her over his other arm, and hugged her against him tightly. Now I'm the pillow, I

guess. She could either wake him up or allow it. She decided to see if she could get

comfortable. The main issue was his right forearm under her back. She turned onto her side

with her back to his chest and adjusted his arm so that it was below her ribs. Jason hugged her

closer and sighed contentedly. It was a bit more intimate than Ellie had been with the cat before,

but the warmth of his body pressed against hers and the firm hold of his arms gave Ellie a

serene sense of security. Ellie snuggled her head under his chin and breathed deeply, taking in

his familiar scent. Enveloped in his warm embrace and comforting scent, Ellie allowed the

rhythm of his gentle breathing to lull her to sleep.