The Cetra and the Lion, chapter 1
#1 of The Cetra and the Lion
This was written with five weeks and change until the FF7 remake came out. To celebrate, I decided to revisit a certain idea from early on in the original game. Professor Hojo has captured Aerith and Red XIII and wants to breed them together. But this time, he succeeds.
This is part 1 of a fully-written 5-part series. It's porny, but also with more of a focus on plot and character than usual. I hope you enjoy ^^
The world is cold and grey around me, a sterile world of tubes and syringes and disinfectant.
I try to will myself to be unafraid. To tell myself that I can get through this. I am not a meek, frightened girl. I am Aerith Gainsborough. I've spent my years in the slums of Sector 7 seeing the worst of all humanity on display. I am not afraid.
My litany only gets me so far.
The man leveling his gaze at me from the other side of the glass reeks of more danger than any of the criminals or lowlifes I was used to guarding myself against back home. He's a bony, almost emaciated man with cruel cheekbones who would be tall if he ever straightened his back. His slight smile feels empty, as if he is just wearing it because he knows it's what people expect to see.
"The last Cetra," he says. His voice, muffled a bit by the glass, is barely inflected, almost boring. It feels bland. Unassuming. Like the castor bean--or the death cap. Neither seems overtly dangerous.
I suppress a shiver, but he's not looking at me. He's staring down at his clipboard. His labcoat is plain white and devoid of the emblem for the organization he works for: Shinra Corporation, the energy conglomerate that rules the world in all but name. "You know, we found another who's the last of his kind," he says. When he glances up, I don't enjoy the look in his eye. "I've stumbled upon a truly marvelous idea. A way to prevent the extinction of two endangered species in one swift stroke."
My mind turns over his words for a few seconds before I realize what he's hinting at.
My revulsion couldn't be stronger.
"You--you freak!" I scream, jumping to my feet. "You--no! I won't!"
His laugh is as bland as his voice. He stands to look me in the eye; from here I can see how greasy his hair is. "My dear Cetra, I'm surprised you care so little about the viability of your species," he says. His eyes sweep up and down my body and I step back, crossing my arms over myself. It only seems to amuse him.
"When--if--I have children, it will be my decision. I'm not breeding for you," I spit.
He laughs again. "Why girl," he says, "what makes you think you have a choice?"
He nudges a button on a console nearby and one of the doors slides open with a pneumatic hiss. On the other side is a coterie of merciless Shinra goons and--
I start. Some kind of creature?
The creature is lithe--mostly leonine, but with wolfish traits as well. Its fur is a fiery carnelian red, the belly a softer orange-yellow like the sun at dawn. Someone has tattooed geometric designs on its left legs; above one of them is the symbol for thirteen. Its mane, trimmed almost like a human's hair, is a rich and pleasing umber; one eye is golden, the other sliced through with a scar.
There's a thin hum in the room, so slight as to almost be unnoticeable, and I realize it's coming from the electric collar they have around the creature's neck. No fewer than three of the Shinra goons have poles attached to the collar, which they use to keep it at bay.
The red-furred creature does not seem happy to be here. It snaps uselessly at one of the suits, and as it does so, it twists in a way that lets me get a glimpse at its underbelly. I see a sheath--lightly-furred balls--so the creature is a he, then, not an it.
I start. A 'he'?
And it suddenly all clicks.
"No," I whisper. This isn't happening. "No, no, no!" I back away until I thump uselessly against the transparent walls of my holding cell. "You can't!"
I can feel the researcher smiling at my back. "Can't?" he asks, a tiny mocking lilt to his voice.
"I won't mate with that--that thing! I won't do it!"
The commotion interrupts the creature's scuffle with his guards. All attention is on me.
The creature looks at me, and then past me at the doctor. His eyes... they're a summery golden color, but more than that, they show a soulful, quiet kind of thought to them. They're not the eyes I would have expected to see in a monster or a beast.
And then he opens his mouth and--well. What would your reaction be, were you to learn that humanoids aren't the only things in this world that can talk? That maned, four-legged creatures can speak--and not only speak but do so with a voice that is low, smooth, exotic, almost lyrical. What would you do?
I was left speechless.
"Hojo," the creature growls, his voice astonishing me. "'Mate'? What is this?"
I hear the scientist--Hojo--shuffling behind me. "Red," he replies. "I think it should be simple. You've snarled at me for long enough about how lonely you are. Well, now you have a companion." A tinny knock sounds through my cell as he raps on the glass right over my head. "One who, given about nine months, will do even more to ease your loneliness."
The frankness of what Hojo is saying--me? Knocked up, bred by this mysterious creature, this Red? It's obscene--no, more than that, it's impossible!
"Y-you can't," I say shakily. My voice is tremulous; I'm fighting to keep my composure and only partially succeeding. "You c-can't think h-he... and I..." I turn, half-rising, to shoot as desperate a look I can manage at Hojo. "We're so different! It's--it can't be biologically possible!"
Whatever I was expecting, it wasn't for Hojo to shake his head like a teacher about to correct a child. "You are so ignorant of your own history," he said. "Cetra ruins show that your race can breed with almost anything--not just humans, but other creatures as well. Chocobos, monsters, even dogs and wolves. Perhaps the etchings in the ruins were fanciful imaginings or allegories or fables." His smile, impossible as it seems, tightens even more. "But I do not think so. Of course, there is only one way to know for sure." He looks past me. "Red. Come now. She may not be the shape you were expecting, but you have a female."
What is he saying? He's really going to go through with this? This beastlike Red, he's going to fuck me? To impregnate me?
I begin shaking again. No, no, no. I try to protest but my words come out inarticulate, shaky behind my cries. I huddle uselessly against the wall. AVALANCHE will rescue me, I think desperately. My new friends. They'll find me. They have to.
A snort of derision from behind. Hojo is unimpressed. "Come now, Red," he says. "Rip those close off her easily enough and you can finally bid farewell to your loneliness."
Red stares at me, and my heart pounds in fear that he'll make his move--but then he doesn't do anything and I manage to knuckle through my fear enough to see clearly. This is no slavering, hungry, lustful beast. The tip of his tail is thrashing in distress; his eyes look concerned, disgusted, even angry. I wonder how I look to him--crying, fearful, huddled against the wall.
He lowers himself onto his belly and refuses to get up.
"I'm not some piece of livestock for you to mate, Hojo," he says. Says, not growls--I wonder at how his mouth, all fangs and tongue, can make human speech. "I'm not forcing myself onto that poor girl."
I can barely register my astonishment, my surprise, my relief, before Hojo's voice cuts in. "Stupid beast. Make him want it."
One of the goons hits a button on his pole and lightning surges down it, sinking its fangs right into Red.
The result is instant. Red tenses, digs his claws into the ground, grits his teeth. The lightning is playing about him and he's trembling.
It lasts about half a minute and when it's over, he can barely stand.
"We can keep doing this, Red," Hojo says. It's like he's forgotten I'm here.
"I... won't..." he forces out. I hear Hojo sigh, hear him rap the glass once, and then--
Two of the goons hit their buttons. Red's reaction is not nearly so subdued this time. He arches his back as best he can with the collar and poles on him. A scream rips out of his mouth. The sound... it was like a wolf screaming and a young man wailing, layered on top of one another. It was a hideous, haunting, terrible sound.
I'm up before I know it. "Stop it!" My voice cuts across the air. "Stop it, please!" I rush forward, to do what, I can't say--swat at the goons (but I don't have my staff), cast a healing spell (but they stole my materia). Instead, a Shinra thug catches me, and when I try to fight back, he grapples me to the floor like it's second nature.
I can only watch as they torment him.
They keep the double current on him for almost a minute and when they let up, Red collapses against the floor, shuddering. His beautiful autumn fur looks singed in places, and I hear him whimpering softly, like a dog that's been kicked and is afraid it's going to be kicked again.
"All you have to do is fuck the girl," Hojo says. There's a slight trace, barely imperceptible, to his voice--an undertow of annoyance. "Really now, Red. The solution is that simple."
"She doesn't... want it..."
An aggrieved sigh from Hojo. "That's her problem, not yours."
The noble creature rolls his head to glare at Hojo through his good eye. I think to the scar on the other one. How did he get it?
Will he get more today? Because of me?
"I'd rather... die..." Red says.
"You'd throw your species' legacy aside just to protect some weeping girl?" Hojo sneers.
Red doesn't respond. Instead, he curls in on himself, waiting the end.
"Fine." Hojo nods at the three goons with the poles. "If he wants death so bad, give it to him."
I scream in protest, and it's worth as much as a dandelion against a firestorm. All three of them press the buttons.
The electricity almost makes the room glow. I can hear Red screaming in pure, inarticulate agony. His voice, low and melodic and noble, is now high with pain. It's messy. Drawn-out. Shattering. This is no way to die.
Die. He's dying. They're killing him. And all because of me. Someone he barely knows. A fellow captive he refused to hurt.
It's because of me that the electricity is dancing across his fur, is making his voice shake with agony. He's the last of his kind. There will be no more of whatever nameless, wonderful creatures he is--dancing across the glades and the fields (for surely he doesn't belong in such a grimy place as Midgar) with their fur swept by the cool, life-giving breeze.
An entire race will die tonight.
AVALANCHE, I think desperately. They'll save us. They have to. But the seconds tick on and Red's screams grow more broken and I have to face facts: AVALANCHE isn't coming. Cloud isn't coming. None of them are. They can't save me or Red tonight.
Only I have the power to do that.
"I'll do it!" I scream, bellowing as loud as I can to be heard above Red's pained yells. Hojo knocks his hand against the glass and the men shut off the power instantly. What's left is a silence so pure that you could hear a leaf fall to the earth. The only sound is Red's soft, intermittent sobs.
"Say it again," Hojo says.
"I--I'll--"
I swallow. The words die in my mouth. Red is--he's not a monster. He's a good person. (Person? I ponder, before deciding that yes, fur or no, he's certainly a better person than the men who collared him.)
But good or not, the thought of me bent over, hissing from the fur rubbing against my back as I am taken from behind by a quadruped, makes me queasy.
I don't want this.
But I don't want Red to die even more.
"I'll d-do it," I say, my voice faltering. "I'll sl--" The words tumble over each other and I swallow. I force myself to say it. "I'll sleep with him."
"And bear his children?"
Oh gods. Oh gods. I'd almost forgotten that part. Could Cetra really breed with this creature? Would I--would my belly swell with Red's young? Would they be people? Animals? Something in-between?
The seconds grow and I can feel Hojo's impatience growing with them. He's going to order them to finish Red off.
I can't say it, but I nod as clearly as I can while still pinned by the goon.
"You get that, Red?" The whiff of annoyance in Hojo's voice has been replaced by smugness. "You're in the clear."
Red struggles to raise his head and looks at me. "You don't--have to do this for--m-my sake," he forces out. "Miss..."
"It's Aerith," I reply, my voice soft as the dawn.
"Aerith," he repeats. "Please. Forget about me."
Forget about him? If he died here for me, that would haunt me forever. I shake my head.
Red locks eyes with me and a wordless understanding passes between us. Neither of us wants this, but neither is to blame. We'll do what we have to in order to protect each other. I can see the emotions marshaling behind his eyes: gratitude, despondency, weariness.
"Well then!" Hojo says. "We can move ahead, but Red doesn't seem to be in the state for strenuous activity at the moment." He adjusts his glasses. "Thankfully, we have all the time in the world. A few days from now."
They drag Red away, and Hojo follows after, leaving me alone in my tiny cell with the see-through walls.
Only a few days until they breed me like the specimen I am.
The area they take me to is jaw-dropping. I expected them to bring Red tack to my cell, but instead I am corralled a few floors up to an incredible place. It's almost an entire floor unto itself, which, in a place as big as Shinra HQ, means it's just about the size of half a dozen city blocks. It's a facsimile of an outdoor space: rolling grassy hills with wildflowers, a smattering of leafy trees, a few hollows and caves at the edge, even a running, bubbling brook. If it wasn't for the transparent glass ringing the enclosure (and the sterile light-grey walls beyond them) I'd almost think I had wandered into some storybook land.
Red tells me that this is his enclosure. "They built it for me," he says, his voice low, "because they figured an animal needed the outdoors." He is no longer collared. He tries not to look at me; I try not to look at him.
I'm naked.
They stripped me of my dress before dragging me up here, Hojo noting clinically that clothes would have just gotten in the way. There's a perverse sort of sense to these words, yet I find myself shivering nonetheless--not from the air of the enclosure, which is actually temperate and quite pleasant, clothes or no, but because everyone here can see anything they wish. It's not Red I'm worried about so much as Hojo and his fellow scientists. They prowl at the edge of the enclosure, monitoring me through video cameras, and a few have wandered into the transparent tubes that snake their way across the ground, giving observers a direct view if they wish. Hojo and a few others have taken the opportunity.
"It's lovely," I say, ignoring them as best I can and returning my attention to Red.
"It's not home," he replies, his voice bitter with longing. He stands up a little bit and my mouth dries. His cock--the very tip of it is poking out of its sheath. The visualization of what I'm about to do hits me again and I swallow.
His attention piqued by the sound, Red glances at me and sees where I'm looking, reads the discomfort on my face. His own face (surprisingly expressive for his leonine form) shifts, his look becoming pensive and withdrawn.
"Are you sure you want this?" he asks. I can't get over how low and clear his voice is. It's truly a lovely sound.
"Please," I say, the anticipation unbearable. "I appreciate the thought, but please, don't--don't ask again."
He nods.
Hojo is watching us from a nearby tube and he pulls up a mic to his mouth. His voice floods in from speakers all around the enclosure: "Well. Whenever you two are ready, let's save your species, shall we?"
A low growl of contempt--the most animalistic sound I've heard from Red yet--rips from the mouth of my soon-to-be-partner. I couldn't agree with the sentiment behind it more.
Red turns to me and I see his cock is almost fully out of his sheath. It's about the length of a human's, but far different in shape: a thick trunk tapering to a tiny tip, with modest spines and ridges scattered intermittently along it. Where it touches his balls, the base thickens.
He takes a step towards me and I immediately blurt out "Wait!" He stops immediately, sitting on his haunches and curling his tail around his forepaws.
I can see the scientists in the tube milling about. "I--I need to get ready," I say. "Humans, we--the female benefits from, um, preparation first. To make it easier."
"You're not human," the voice of one of Hojo's assistants chimes in over the speaker. "You're a Cetra, specimen XIX." Specimen nineteen--that's what Hojo calls me now, just as Red is specimen XIII. I wonder if he'll tattoo or brand the number into me as did for Red.
"Easy," comes Hojo's voice, gently chiding his colleague. "Cetra are humanoid enough that it's believable. And besides. The purpose here is conception--and that will work better if both of them commit. If this is what the female needs, then so be it, so long as it gets done."
The female. I suppose that's all I am to them. 'Aerith Gainsborough' might as well be foreign runes, given how little they say my name.
Hojo's next words are directed at me. "Just don't take all day about it, hmmm?"
I nod and wander over to a small grassy knoll about a dozen paces away. Red pads after me, keeping a respectable distance. Laying down with my back against the knoll, I close my eyes, feeling the grass dance around my bare skin and the enclosure's warm, artificial breeze caressing me.
Zack, I tell myself. Think of Zack. It's been so long--four years, perhaps? Maybe more? It doesn't matter. Memories are what I need right now.
My eyes still shut so that I can pretend that Red and the scientists are not watching, I stroke myself gently. The reaction from my pussy is immediate--bliss shudders through me and my breath hitches. I continue stroking myself, thinking of Zack, imagining that it is his arms caressing me instead of the grass. My thoughts turn lewder and I imagine his cock spearing into me. The image leaves me flushed and my pussy wet.
That's right, I tell myself. It's just Zack. He's the one you're going to sleep with soon. It'll be his cock in you. I think of myself laying with my long-lost lover, my breath growing shallower. I'm panting now, swirling one fingertip gently on my clit, every roll spiking my loins with euphoria that blooms throughout my body like petals unfurling from a bud.
I dip a finger into myself and moan. That's it, Aerith, I think. That's right. Enjoy it. If it's going to happen, you might as well enjoy it. My free hand cups my breast, gently squeezing and kneading it. I thumb over my nipple and feel it growing hard.
I find myself hoping that Red gets some satisfaction out of today as well.
Red? Who's Red? I chastise myself, my fingers dancing over my clit even faster. I'm nice and wet now. My pussy is almost ready. I'm just going to finally have that long lay with Zack I always wanted.
Biting my lower lip, my cheeks burning with arousal, I open my eyes and see Red and the whole fantasy starts to crumble. He's--he's nothing like Zack. He's not even human. But he's watching me and his cock is fully at attention now.
I wonder if he can smell my arousal.
"I'm ready," I say, my voice low, almost slurring with arousal. "Zack..."
Red, who had started padding forward at my invitation, stops. "Zack?" he asks.
I bite my lip, still flushed. "I--I might call you by that name, please, just let me, it'll help."
Red nods and as I roll over onto my hands and knees--it just seems the easiest position for him--I keep telling myself to think that this is Zack, it's a date with Zack, that's all this is.
The fantasy crumbles a little more as Red mounts me in preparation. My breath hitches as I feel his furry underbelly dragging against my back, I grunt as his paws press on either of my shoulders. I can feel his bestial weight looming above me; his breath is hot on the back of my neck.
He's a wolf a lion an animal I'm about to fuck an animal oh god wait it's Zack this is Zack it's fine you're horny just enjoy it--
My mental voice goes haywire as the tip of Red's cock teases my flushed entrance and my whole body tenses up despite itself. I know that Red can feel it because he tenses in return.
His voice is at my ear: "Miss Aerith--"
"Just Aerith," I pant in return. "Please."
"...Aerith. I'm s--"
"Don't say you're sorry," I say, knowing that I couldn't stand it if he apologized for this. It's not his fault. "You're like me, a victim. It's them. They're the bad ones." He doesn't say anything but I feel him relax in response and I think my words helped ease him. Good. "Now..." I swallow. "Z-Zack. Let's do this. F-fuck me, Zack. Fuck me!"
And at my prompting, he enters me.
My breath hitches high, very high. I'm not exactly the sort of person who has sex a whole lot, so I'm still unused to intrusions. I feel myself clenching involuntarily around him, the sensation making his cock stand out even more. It draws a low, rippling growl of pleasure from him.
He's barely even in me, I realize--only a bit further than the tip. "M-More," I say, and Red--Zack, it's Zack, I'm sleeping with Zack--complies, pushing in slowly. He's not the rough, animalistic lover I expected. He's going gentle, incredibly gentle. It's for me, it has to be--he's trying to make this as painless as possible.
The tapered tip of his cock helps him push in far without too much trouble. My breath picks up, panting, as I take more and more of him. It aches--but behind it is the sweet fire, the kind that a mere finger in your pussy could never hope to simulate.
I feel his paws clutch tighter around me; his haunches are pushing closer and closer to my ass as he continues sliding in. Finally, he's almost fully in--he holds there, panting with arousal and frustration, doubtlessly exercising incredible self-control. I can feel him trembling from it. I clench around him again and my voice hisses through my teeth. I can feel every contour of his cock; the exotic shape, the spines, the ridges. There were women who would kill for a toy like this.
He holds in me for a bit longer and then starts sliding out of me. Unexpectedly, a fervent, unnatural sensation strikes my pussy walls and I wail, my voice hiccupping with sudden distress.
Red stops immediately, and I can feel him tense over me. He leans down again, the fur on his chin brushing my neck, to whisper a question: "What's wrong?"
From my position I can't see Hojo or his scientists, but I can imagine them scribbling away at this new complication.
"The--the spines," I say, forcing myself under control. "They hurt."
A long, long pause. He keeps holding in me. Then he speaks again. "What... should I do?"
I almost want to laugh. He has to pull out of me no matter what, and that means more of the spined sensations. But it's unlikely that Hojo will let us stop here just because of my momentary discomfort. Not until I've been inseminated.
"Keep going," I say, preparing myself. He says nothing, but I can sense his hesitation. "Please," I say. "They'll just make us do it anyway. And I--I just wasn't expecting it. I'll know now."
"...alright," he says, his breath hot on my ear. He slowly slides out, trying to go as gently as he can, and I have to bite my lip to keep from groaning. The slow drag of his barbed cock against my pussy bites at me, but more than that, it overstimulates. It's a veritable crescendo of sensation, one I have no idea how to deal or grapple with. Every barb trailing down my inner walls is like a tiny pinpoint mixing pain and pleasure and before long, I am left quivering underneath him.
Red almost pulls out of me all the way, leaving just his tip in--then he pushes back once more.
"Z-Zack," I mutter, but I don't know who the fuck I am trying to convince anymore. Certainly not myself. I can play all the mental games I want, there's no way I can believe that this bestial lover with a barbed and tapered cock, his paws still clutching my shoulders, his fur tickling my back and arms, his tail thrashing in the warm enclosure air, is anything but what he is: a soul that, however kind and noble and gentle, is certainly far from human.
Red hilts in me again, slowly, and then pulls out and I am left quivering as his spines once again make my cunt dance. He goes in--and out--and in--
I realize how slow he's going, how methodical. I realize why. He doesn't want to upset me. He wants to be gentle.
But the point of this is for him to cum in me. Breed me. Knock me up. Once that happens, it'll be over. His gentle pace is touching, but misplaced. It's just prolonging what's happening.
"Go faster," I mutter, my voice trailing as he drags himself out of me. "Hard--oohhhhhh. H-harder." One of his spines had touched a particularly sensitive sweet spot that left me reeling with delight.
"You sure?"
"Just go fast. Cum in me. Get it over with," I say. "That's all I want." I knot grass in my fists, readying myself. "I can take it. Please."
He holds fast for a few moments, chest heaving, and then--
Oh. He takes me.
Red surges forward like a storm front, his cock thundering into me with such passionate force that I can do nothing but squeal. He hesitates and I have to beg him for more and he complies, going harder, faster, until he is ramming in and out of me at pure, breakneck speed.
In and out he goes, hammering my raw and aching pussy, and I'm left reeling from the continued avalanche of stimulation and sensory overload and sweet, sweet fire as pain and pleasure dance together, spreading from my cunt to blossom over my entire being. Above me I can hear him growling, not in anger but in triumph. His cock is pulsing in me, throbbing, and I realize he's enjoying this.
I find myself glad that he's enjoying this. He's a captive too; he was willing to give his life to avoid hurting me. I don't know how lasting the joy he receives from sexual pleasure will be, but in the moment, Red is happy.
Why shouldn't I be happy too?
Forget the captivity. Forget Zack. Forget Hojo, forget AVALANCHE. Right now I'm just here with a friend (because that's what this strange, beautiful wolf-lion is: the closest thing in the world I have to a friend right now) and both of us are enjoying each other's company and each other's bodies. Because now that I'm acclimating to his barbs, the sensation of them dragging down is so, so sweet.
His paws clutch even tighter, so tight I can feel his nails just starting to dig into my skin, and he leans down, putting more of his weight on me. His tail has snaked around one of my legs, gripping it tight, and as he ruts in and out of me I wonder how much of this behavior he's doing on purpose and how much is raw animalistic instinct. His voice is a bubbling growl, constant and low like the surf, and I realize what he's doing: he's claiming his mate.
Red's cock begins to pulse in me and his growl is growing higher pitched and I find myself wondering desperately if it means he's close. "Cum in me," I say, my voice ragged. I have to force out the worse between thrusts. "C-Cum in me. Mate me."
A low whine from his voice and his words trill in my ear: "...Aerith... I..."
I reach back to find his head and caress it. His fur is soft, but there's a tiny singed patch from the other day. "Do it," I say. "Do it."
He hilts in me and my eyes widen, my voice arching high as I realize that the bulge in his base was just the hint to something much bigger. He's got feline barbs, but the canine part of him is swelling up, knotting me, and I'm being filled and spread. He arches his head back and howls as his cock spurts thick ropes of cum right into my waiting womb. I gasp, my voice high, as his hot and viscous seed pours into me. I'm quickly filled up, moaning from the sensation.
Red half-collapses against me and both of us sink against the grassy hillside. He's shifted his weight to avoid putting it on me, but the feeling of his warm, furry body pressing against me is so comforting...
Red's orgasmed, but my body is still on fire. But we're knotted, which means neither of us are going anywhere...
I squeeze around him and he rewards me with a whine. I squeeze again and his cock pulses, spurting one last jet into me. Gasping, I roll my hips--wait. I stop instantly. "Red," I ask, my voice throaty. I tell myself there's no reason to be embarrassed. "Can I?"
His response is a quizzical half-bark and I have to keep from biting my lip. "We're tied for a bit, and--and I haven't yet, and--"
"Ah," he says, getting it. "Yes. Of course."
I whisper my thanks and roll back against him. His cock, his knot, his hot and heavy seed all swirl in my loins like a delicate aftershock, and I reach down with one hand to tease my clit.
It doesn't take long after that.
In the aftermath of my orgasm, both of us are tied together, sleepy from bliss and the aftermath. Red is cuddled up against me, his belly fur warm against my back. One paw is wrapped around my shoulder and there's a small pressure that ebbs and flows with his breath. It's warm. Comforting. And for a moment, I can almost forget why we are lying together like this.
I can pretend that this is something I chose.