FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Tik Tik flops onto the table, crashing and making the plates clatter. She slithers on her back, her tail whipping to and fro. "Grefina sign up to interview Tik Tik, and you must know what Tik Tik is famous for.

Grefina takes a deep breath. "You're well known for your collection of magical knowledge and your invention of new teleportation technology, making the world much smaller than ever."

"That's not all!" Tik Tik says, rolling on her stomach. She kicks her feet and rests her cheeks upon her palms. "You know all about Tik Tik's sexy adventures, yes?"

Grefina's cheeks flutter. It takes her only a moment more to finally respond. "Yes, I've read some of your adventures, gero. They are most enlightening, gero."

Tik Tik pushes herself up, her hips against the table, her hands on the edge, scootching ever-so-closer to the mage. "And Tik Tik need know that any who join in adventure is good for sexy things. You need show Tik Tik what you can do. Make sexy items? Brew sexy potions? Make sexy love?"

Adaeze clamps her hand over the kobold's head, lifting her off the table. "Calm down, girl," she says. "You're going to scare candidates away."

Tik Tik growls and thrashes about, grabbing her shirt and squirming as she buries her hands underneath it.

"The hell's wrong with her?" Adaeze says.

"I was afraid of this," Grefina sighs, clasping her hands together upon her lap. "I tried to warn her, but the energy potion can make someone ten times more energized for endeavors they wish to take."

Adaeze holds the kobold out far, but that's not enough to keep Tik Tik from wrapping her tail around the gnoll's strong limb, wrapping her arms and legs around her, and rocking her hips against her.

"Gah!" Adaeze shakes her arm, but the kobold won't let go. "She's the horniest bastard alive, and you made her even hornier!"

"I didn't know, gero!" Grefina says, slapping her cheeks. "But, look on the bright side, she's quite happy, isn't she!"

"She's always happy!"

"Well, I know that feeling, gero!"

Adaeze growls, shoving her arm toward the frog conjurer's face. "Look, there's a private room in the back. Find a way to keep her from making too much of a mess until the potion wears off."

"Huh? W-what do you mean 'wears off?' H-hey!"

Grefina finds herself lifted from the back of her dress, with Adaeze hoisting the frog over her shoulder and stomping toward the back room. She tosses her in and pulls out her billy club, brandishing it at the kobold attached to her arm.

Tik Tik hisses and lets go, dropping down to all fours and growling with the might of a mighty dragon before the gnoll presses the heel of her boot to her snout and scoots her into the back room.

Placing a chair against the doorknob, Adaeze finally has peace, save for the frantic scratching from the other end.

The gnoll nods, claps her hands, and turns back toward the table.

As the gnoll relaxes back into her seat, the confectionary confection chef and proprietor of the business arrives, carrying a tray of sweets. "My, my," Baker says in his calm and sultry voice. "It seems Tik Tik is quite a handful today, isn't she?"

Adaeze shrugs, taking a muffin from the tray. "Guess so."

"And she is paying for any damages that will happen in my establishment, is she not?"

Adaeze shrugs. "I'd take that up with Tik Tik."

"Well, as long as the damages are just the scritches of a love-drunk kobold, we're good. Oh, and speaking of 'drunk,' darling, I thought I'd excite the senses of adventuring types with a new chocolate drink."

"Drunk on chocolate?" Adaeze barks, picking up some of Tik Tik's papers. "Hm..., seems the next interviewee is coming up. Why don't you whip one up for me and," she squints, running her finger down the page, "Panini."

"Coming right up!" he says, twirling on his toe and sashaying away.

Adaeze reads the resume of the next to arrive. "These are some accomplishments. High level in the Adventurer's guild, and most active in the Southern Jungles."

The door's bell rings, and Adaeze waves her hand over. "If yer Panini, come over here. I'm your interviewer."

"Oh, thank you very much," the meek voice says, low enough that Adaeze has to lower the paper to ensure someone is standing before her.

A meek girl is dressed in a maid's outfit. She bows, her form shuddering. "Ah, yes, so there's been a mistake. I'm not interested in adventuring work, so I don't know how my resume made it into the pool. I'm afraid I am just a simple maid. I don't want any trouble, and if you have employment in a nonaggressive field, I can do the servant work around the camp or at your headquarters. I am so sorry for the confusion."

Baker approaches the two, placing a drink in front of them. "Oh, but darling, aren't you precious? If you are looking for work, we're always hiring cuties at the Bakery."

Adaeze scratches her chin. "Hrm, I wonder if Tik has anything. Nothing I can think of, but-

"Griiibbit!"

CRASH

Adaeze sighs, pushing herself up. "Looks like I have to take care of something in the back. You just sit here and enjoy your drink in the meantime."

Adaeze had unceremoniously tossed the uninitiated Grefina into the kobold's den with the unabashedly horny Tik Tik, slamming the door behind them, making it lock with a loud "click."

Tik Tik yelps and growls as she flies through the air, landing on the soft, luxurious couch opposite the room. This leaves Grefina to stand by the door, tense and with her eyes wide, her cheeks bulging in a loud, nervous croak.