Soul Shattered Chap. 3: My Mate and Memories
I walked into the brilliant moonlight and let my skin soak up its energy. I looked up at the round full moon, nestling itself into the center of the sky. With a quiet sigh I kept walking among the darkness of the tall trees.
Tonight was going to be an excellent hunt; I could feel it.
I felt a tingle in my spin, a brittle tingle, the Change was beginning. I looked down at my watch and yelled, "Crap!" It was 11:00; so hastily took off of my clothes--I so didn't want my clothes to rip.
The Change took full control over me when I finally got my clothes off. The crisp heat spread from my spine to my whole body. First from my head to my neck, then it crawled its way to chest. From my chest, it moved to my arms; then it flowed from my fingers to the lower part of my body. It traveled down to my legs, then to my feet. When it fully engulfed my body with power, the pain (but no quiet pain) sparked within me.
My skin turned a deep gray, and fur started to sprout from its place. My bones started to stretch--molding me into my new form. My eyes started to shift from their usual emerald to yellow. Soon the forest was lit with brilliant colors. Everything was clearer, lighter. Soon after that, I felt my ears pop and the night sounds came to me like in those high-definition TV commercials. You know--"so clear you can here I nail drop in the other room". I felt my nose tingle and soon I was swamped by all sorts of scents. Like I know were a raccoon ate his catch of the day; or were a dog had urinated. I could also tell were a female mouse had stunk with fear and scurried to her hiding place. After I was over-come by my senses, my legs gave under me and soon I was on all-fours. My mouth started to stretch into a muzzle; teeth formed into fangs and claw. I could feel my tail grow to its full fluffy length.
When I was finished with my shape-shift, I sped off into the cool, sweet night. My paws barely touched the cold, moist forest floor as I rocketed through shadows and the forest underbrush. My body was like a speeding bullet, racing toward its target.
I was invincible.
It was funny being a werewolf. I've read millions of werewolf books and most of them have it were there's the wolf mind and then the human mind in one body. But this isn't the case with me. There aren't two different minds, there's one: Mine. The wolf--I guess you could call it that--was me and I was am the wolf, we are one.
I stopped near a fallen tree; I dropped my nose to the dirt and sniffed deeply. All sorts of scents flooded to my nose: human, raccoon, mouse, dog, and squirrel. But none of these scents appealed to me.
I was about to walk away when I certain smell caught me. Deer--buck. A young one too and he was all alone. My body carried me to that scent.
I sprang into a clearing; the moonlight trickled down onto my fur and started dancing off my fur. A twig snapped, directed my attention to the buck staring at me, frozen in fear. My gaze lingered at his. A fierce snarl ripped its way through my bared teeth.
The buck--out of its weird hypnoses--tried to book it, backing up and making a straight shot of the pale trees behind it, but I was too quick for it. My body leaped forward with a strikingly fast speed that it made an Olympic sprinter seem like a young child.
I landed on the young male with a loud thunk; I clenched my fangs around its throat. It panicked and started shaking my off; which was a bad choice, 'cause it helped me tear its throat out.
I landed lightly on my paws, the slab of meat still in my muzzle. I stood and watched the young buck stager--gasping for air. It pained me to see it choking on its own blood, but his pain was almost over. His body finally fell to the ground, and I watch his eyes glaze over in the haze of sweet death.
I walked over the deer's carcass and sank my fangs into the now-raw meat of the dead animal I stood over. My head and tail held high, showing my dominance. My fangs sliced through the tough meat, as I tore at its fur and tissue. I chewed off large chunks of meat and then swallowed them whole.
The delicious taste of raw meat baffled me as much as the great taste of blood. Just thinking of them both made my muzzle water.
There was nothing left but the few scraps and the skin and fur.
I lay down, feeling food coma sick with all meat I feverishly consumed. I started gnawing on the various bones that lay before me, chewing on the morrow and grilse. My fangs sharpening to a razor point on bloody bone in my maw.
When I was satisfied with my . . . meal, I got up, drunkly, and trotted off in the direction of my Den--a Den where, hopefully, my Pack was, waiting for me.
By the time I was half way there, the moon was drifting toward he west and by my nocturnal biological clock, it was one at night. I shifted from my wolf form to my anthro form, seeing as I'd need hand-paws to open the door as soon as I reach it.
My Pack was already inside our Den--an old a banded house, which the House of Dens was able to fix up without any humans noticing--doing their own things. Lights were already on, music was playing and the TV was on.
When I walked in, I was taken back when I saw him--standing there with his arms open for me. I raced into those arms and curled myself into him, feeling the strong but gentle embrace he could give.
"Hey, it's ok. I'm back," my Mate said soothingly. And it was true. He was back, and he was holding me in his arms. Tears started to drift slowly down my cheeks, staining my fur. It was a month since I've seen him, a long, lonely month that felt like years to me without him.
My loving and venerated Mate was here, holding me--he's what you'd consider my boyfriend.
"I know it's ok." my voice went all weak and sore. Through watery eyes, I looked into those deep set eyes of his. "You are back. God, did I miss you. I love you so much."
He hugged me closer to his body, warming my heart. He pulled back and I clung to him tighter. He tried it again and lifted my face to his and gave me a kiss. His lips were soft and gentle. His eyes staring into mine, and it felt like I was swimming his aqua blue eyes.
He started nuzzling my neck and I gave a very cat purr (Opps!).
How embarrassing! Ugh!
I turned away from him to hide the blush that threatened to appear. Over to my right Kora started laughing.
"What the hell was that?" he asked, his voice a light giggle.
I felt Kari growl behind me. A growl of my own lipped through my teeth. Kari walked over to his brother and smacked him up-side the head. Kora still laughed his deep, husky laugh.
"What? Did someone miss someone? Chris, he wouldn't shut up about you when he got here," Kora paused to look at me, and then continued. "Come on, you missed him as much as he missed you. I don't know why, I'm way better looking than him. You know you love me more."
I held up my middle finger to him, but grinned. He did have a way of cheering you up with his humor. Kari chuckled as well.
He grabbed my paw and led me to couch and laid me down, resting my head against the pillow. He then went behind me and wedged himself between me and the back of the couch, and then he wrapped his arms around me, and held me tightly. I wonder what he's thinking about?
So I started probing his thoughts with my head.
God, did I miss her. She lookssto beautiful nestled against my body, her head resting on my chest. It sure was along month without her. My nights were so cold--well actually; I wasn't cold because I have fur. But I'd still feel cold without her warm body to heat mine. Hmm, there got to be something I can do to make up for my absence.
I felt a him pause in thought, then continue.
Oh, I know! I can take her to go see a movie and then treat her to dinner. Wait! I can't do that! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid me! I can't take her to a movie--so dumb of me. I'm nota werewolf. I'm just a regular wolf. Hm, well, this sucks. I know that I can do though. I 'm a really good cook, so I could make us some dinner and put on a movie she hasn't seen yet, like...like what? You know what? Did doesn't really matter; all that matter is that I'm here with her.
Aww! Isn't he just the sweetest? He was going to take me out for dinner and a movie. But he was right. That didn't matter, we were together.
I felt him shift behind me. What was he doing? Kari released me, and scooted closer up and got more comfortable. He was so adorable when he mentally argued with himself. I couldn't wait to talk with him about what happened with the other Alpha's. I know it was an important meeting; it does kinda suck that I couldn't make it. My only excuse was school.
Kora and some of the Pack started to move closer to me and settle down in the other couches that surrounded the TV. Kora and his Mate, Crystal, sat on my left; Crystal snuggling up to her Mate. Mori sat in his own chair near the fireplace. Rena, Allen, and Luc sat at my right, on the bigger couch, Rena's arms were around her brother's heads, wresting around with them.
When everybody was settled, I let my eyes wonder to the TV screen. Tonight FX was playing Twilight. I snorted, I hated the Twilight shit. I mean, come on! A vamp falling in love with a human? Please! No way can I see that happening. But I guess I can't say that won't happen. I mean, just thinking of Bella and Edward's relationship made me think of my own relationship with my loving Mate.
Kari pulled my head back and planted a kiss on my lips. I got a strong taste of sugar, earth, warmth, love, life, and protection. My heart started to speed up and my head reeled. I pressed my body closer to him; I just couldn't get enough of him. He kissed me with a little bit more force and passion. Good! He wasn't holding back and nether was I.
All this pent-up desire was making me hot and flustered. I wanted more of him--needed more of him. I stopped clenching to him and took a deep, calm breath. I mentally took a step back and slapped myself.
Come on, Chris! Get a grip on yourself!I yelled to myself. I managed to pull reigns on my control and let all the lust wash away. God! If it's this bad, it's gonna be worse when I'm in heat. I hated it when I didn't have control over myself. My mind skittered to the memories when I was feeding form Darren; it was like it was slapping me in the face, practically screaming at me, Yeah! Look at what could have happened! This is what's gonna happen if you lose control. Are you listening to me, Chris?
When I was sure I had a grip over myself, I stepped back into my body. My conscience was right, something bad will happen if I lose control. But luckily, being a lycan gives me excellent control. But still . . . even a werewolf can lose control.
I looked around the room and stared at every face of my Pack. It's been a year since I was joined with my Pack, since I was bitten and turned and a year since I got my Tattoos. I would have to thank my Goddess, Luna, later. But it was a memory I was never going to forget.
All of a sudden my mind started to replay that horrible memory.
"Hey, Trina, I'll have to call you back. I'm like a little bit into the woods and I'll have to concentrate on were I'm going," I said as I walked through the dark woods to my house.
"Ok, Chris, but please be careful," she said as she hung-up. So with nothing else to do, I clicked the "End" button on my cell and placed it in my purse. Tonight was awesome! I got to hang out with my friends and I got to see a really cool movie.
I kept walking through the live woods of the night, which was kind of scary if you think about it: a lone girl, in the woods, at night. Yep! Defiantly something you'd see from a horror/slasher movie; but that didn't worry me, I was a tuff chick.
The moon was square in the center of the sky, casting ghostly shadows against the trees, threatening to expose their secrets.
I kept walking; I rested my hands on the branches of the shadowy trees. Hm, it did feel good to be in the night. The moon got higher when I was half-way into the Scary Woods. Hehe, scary woods. P-L-E-A-S-E!
Like I'm really scared! Ha!
As I was walking, I could feel a presence lurching, watching me. I quickly spun around when I heard a twig snap behind me; damn! I can't see a damn thing! My ringing cell phone distracted me from whatever was watching me.
I pulled it out and said, "Hello?"
Darren's worried voice came through the receiver. "Chris! Where are you?"
"Where do you think, Numbnuts? I'm walking home," I said. Why was he so worried where I was? He sure as hell is not my Mother. Ugh.
"Are you in the woods?" he asked.
"No, I'm not. I'm on a bridge, ready to jump and plunge to my inevitable death," I said sarcastically.
"Shut up! I'm serious. I just got off the phone with my dad, he said that there were some wolf sightings and there has been some disappearance shortly after. You got to get home, now!" Darren shouted.
I heard him pacing through me phone. I stood there, staring at my cell in disbelief. What was with Darren?
Wolves? Seriously?
I was too distracted to hear that same crunching of dead branches. I turned around to find a pair of yellow eyes and the ragged breathing of the creature that was staring at me. He blinked and I blinked. Then it growled. I heard Darren's voice softly drift to my ears. "Chris? Chris, are you there?"
With a shaky hand, I lifted the phone to my ear and spoke, "Um . . . Darren. I got to call you back." My voice was all shaky and frightened. Darren picked up on that and yelled, "Run, damn it, run!" And I ran!
The creature howled, like the one wovles do to signal the hunt has begun, and then he chased after me. I was running as fast as I can, screaming, "HELP ME!" But the creature was closing the gap between us with swift speed. I saw his fangs glistening in the illuminating moonlight, and with that I could see other wolves rapidly approaching me.
I ran into the blocked part of the woods; I was totally trapped! Shit! I turned around to see the wolves slowly approaching me, teeth bared, raised haunches, fur bristled. The front wolf--whom I assumed was the Alpha--stiff-legged walked over to me and looked into my frightened green eyes.
When I looked into those eyes of his, it felt like I was paralyzed. I tried to back away from him, but my legs won't corroborate, like my mind was holding up a BACK IN 5 MINUTES sign. I just couldn't move.
Frozen in fear, I stood there as the creature walked toward me. Come on! Run! I yelled to myself, but I was stuck. The creature bowed his body to the ground ready to bounce. I tried to run again, but my body still wouldn't move, even when the wolf sprang at me, knocking me to the cool, damp earth under me. I crawled into a fetal position. A scream ripped its way up my throat when I felt his powerful jaws and razor sharp fang clamp and slice through my soft flesh as if it were butter. I looked up to see his chin stained with scarlet.
He looked down at me and grinned--grinned! He motioned the rest of his pack to join into the frenzy. With an eager twinkle in their eyes, they leapt forward at me, tearing me apart. Why couldn't I move? I mean, sure, I was in excruciating pain; but that didn't explain my paralyzetion.
A deep, fierce howl broke through me screaming. That got their attention and stopped them immediately. I let out a grim laugh that pissed off the Alpha and made him bite me harder. I squelched an ear-curdling shriek. I mentally cured the wolves to the deepest pits of hell.
There was a rumble of paws against the ground, signaling that other wolves were close, and the Alpha new it.
Frantic, the wolves tried to finish me off. They tore and tore, and kept tearing me to pieces. Like a speeding arrow, a wolf sprang from some tall grass, knocking the other wolf to the ground. I heard them struggle and then saw the new wolf rip the other wolfs throat--and for some reason I felt safe with him.
I looked down at my arms; they were blanched form all my blood lose.
Growls, snarls and big, furry bodies hurling, distracted me from thinking of my grim death that was sure to come take me in its cold embrace soon.
When the wolves' war was over, a wolf-like human thing walked up to me and started to check my wounds to see if they were fatal. His hand-paws were surprisingly gentle--which was kinda funny when you realize how big and strong he looked.
My vision started to tunnel over. The wolf-human sensed this; he took my face in his paws and said, "Come on, Chris! You can make it," he yelled. But I knew he was lying.
I felt a gentle bite near my neck that replaced my pain with pleasure. How is that possible? When that pleasure was gone, I clung to the werewolf--I suppose you could call it that since it was a full moon tonight--holding me. That's when I felt this brilliant heat sprout from the seams of my heart. Soon that heat started to build up till it was an almost unbearable fire--a fire that was engulfing me. This fire was burning me inside. I tried--unsuccessfully--to hold back me screams, but they came unyielding. This fire was bringing back that pain I felt before, only worse.
"Chris--Chris, listen to me. You're gonna be alright. Ju-just trust in Luna, trust in your Goddess," the voice said. I didn't know who Luna was, but I did trust her and I trusted this beautiful wolf that was holding me--even though I can't see him. If I was going to die, I was going to die in his arms.
After the fire cooled down, it intently turned to below freezing. What a weird way to die.
Soon my vision completely faded, and I lost conscience and everything black-out. Finally the sweet embrace of death came. . . .
Abruptly, I ripped myself from that horrifying memory, coming back to the present day--back to the safe place of my Mate's comforting arms, holding me tightly to his warm body.
I looked around the room and saw my pack was enjoying the movie. I'll have to thank my Goddess for such a wonderful pack. And for Kari; he's everything a bitch like me could have (hehe! Bitch--wolf, I crack myself up). A giggle slipped through my teeth. Kari looked down at me and whispered, "What's so funny?"
I looked at those beautiful icy-blue eyes of his. "Me. You. Us."
"Well, yeah, we're all hysterical." He bent down and kissed me lightly on the lips.
"Oh, you dirty mutt," I said, grinning.
He grinned back.
It was hard to be sitting here right next him. I wanted to pull him closer to me--no, I wanted him to be part of me. I wanted to be bonded with him. To have him with me everywhere, all the time.
He pulled himself off the couch, and me, and then planted a kiss on my forehead. "I have some things to take care of, love. I will meet you in the bedroom when I'm finished." He bent down, gave me another kiss, and then trotted off to the study.
I felt sudden ping of loneliness prick in my heart, monetarily paralyzing me.
I peeled myself from the couch and headed into the kitchen. I walked over to the refrigerator and opened the freezer. I pulled out some cuts of raw meat and then opened the refrigerator and pulled out a water bottle of O positive. I closed them both before I left.
When I walked back into the family room, the movie had finally ended at the prom scene. I walked back to the couch and plopped down.
"Thank god that's over," I muttered. "Now, let's watch something actually good." I started flipping through channels, searching for anything descent. I came across Comedy Central playing all the Scary Movies in a row.
I burst in abrupt laughter at the part in Scary Movie 1 were the chick at the beginning of the movie finds the guy in a dress, strapped into a chair scream very girly. God, do I love spoof movies. They are so freaking funny.
After a little into the fourth movie, I bid my Pack a goodnight and headed to my and Kari's room. When I got inside, I was a little disappointed to find Kari missing. With nothing other to do, I crawled into bed and closed my eyes.
A bright light disrupted me from trying to fall asleep. I heard the door quietly open and close behind Kari as he entered. He stealthily walked across the room and maneuvered onto the bed, trying not to make much movement.
I scooted closer and wrapped his arms around me.
He sighed. "I thought you were asleep."
I shrugged in his arms. "How can I sleep when you're in the room a few doors down?"
He nodded his head. "True."
Though my question was true, it wasn't the real reason I couldn't sleep. Being a werewolf can have its disadvantages. The reason I couldn't sleep was 'cause my body wouldn't let me. My nocturnal instincts say it's still night time. So, there for I have excess amount of energy. But Kari already knew this.
I shimmed out of his arms embrace and walked over to my dresser and pulled out pair underwear and some PJ's. I pulled up the underwear and then slipped into my pajamas.
"I don't know they you bother on wearing those." He was propped up on his elbow and stared at me.
"What? You think I want wake up naked when I revert back to my human form with you?" I asked, an edge of humor in my voice.
He arched one of his brows. "I don't know--yes." he said the last word immediately, obvious to the answer. "I know you do," he said matter-of-factly.
I rolled my eyes.
Kari got off the bed and walked over to me, incasing my body to his as he wrapped his arms around me. I turned around, lightly dangling my arms over his shoulder and kissed his sweet black lips.
"So . . . anything special happened with you?" we asked in union. Our eyes darted away from each other. The air thick is our silence and with untold secrets.
My instincts kicked in. What was he hiding? My eyes shot up; my paw grabbed his muzzle, forcing him to look at me. "What happened at the House of Dens?"
He gained control over his facial expression. "Nothing," he said, making it sound like nothing interesting happened.
I sighed. "How about I tell you first and then you tell me?"
He nodded ok.
"Hm. Ok." I took a deep breath. "I fed from Darren."
His eyes widened a little. "Oh, ok," he said indifferently.
I started at him in utter disbelief. Was he serious? He really didn't care that I fed from my best friend!? I knew this wasn't true. But, it seemed he knew this was going to happen someday.
My eyes narrowed at his. "Ok, your turn. Fess up!"
"Ok," he breathed. "When I was at the house of Dens, I got, um, courted a few times by someone." My eyes ablaze with a burning fire had him speaking more quickly. "I was courted b-b-by C-Cynthia."
"What?" I yelled; my hands gripping his arms tighter. "That BITCH! She knows I'm Mated to you. Oh, I so can't wait till the gathering so I can kick the hell out of that slut's ass!"
She is going to get it, I promised myself. She was going to get it big time for ever touching my Mate again and for messing with me. I'm calling for her blood, and damn it I was going to beat it out of her.
"Chr-Chr-Chris can you please you let me go," Kari said through clutched teeth.
It wasn't till then that I was gripping Kari's arm very, very tightly. I relaxed my arms and let him go. I turned around, ashamed I just took my anger on my adorable Mate. A painful sob threatened to tear me apart.
He gently wrapped his arms around me.
"I'm sorry, Kari," I croaked. Tears stared to flow down my face as I walked away. A sob broke through me clutched teeth. Damn these tears!
A pair of arms embraced me. I turned about and sobbed into the hollow of my Kari's neck. God did I hate it when I cried with my Mate around. But, now, I couldn't help it. I hurt my Mate, something that tore me apart.
When he was sure I was finished, he asked, "Are you going to be okay?"
I took deep breath and looked at him through the shroud of these endless tears. "Yeah . . . I-I think I am," I moaned into his maw as I kissed him. My heart fluttered as his long tongue slipped past his lips and broke the seal of mine. My body shook with pleasure as his tongue explored the cooks and crevices of my maw. I was saddened when we had to break apart to breathe.
I took a quickly took a gulp of air and then plastered my lips back to his.
He gave a low chuckle. "Eager are we?"
He took my paw and led me back onto the bed.
I crawled under the cool blankets and curled myself into his arms. A soft moan broke the silence as Kari gently ran his fingers down the hollow of my arched spine. He held me as I reverted back to my human.
His soft breathing felt good on my neck as he rested his muzzle on it. He started lightly humming my favorite song as I tried to sleep: "River Flows in You" by Yiruma. He hummed slower at my favorite part of the song.
It was one of the things he usually did when I was so worked up or when I cried. It was sort of like what Edward would do when Bella slept. Yeah . . . Kari is my Edward. And I was his Bella. But it wasn't that simple to try to put behind us. Not for a werewolf. But Kari and I did our best.
Thank you, Luna, I prayed silently. Thank you for such a wonderful Mate. Thank you for everything.
You're welcome, Chris, daring; you deserve it,a voice, carried by the wind, whispered as a gentle breeze swarmed my body. And in that instant, I felt in complete, utter peace. My body and mind relaxed in a tired state.
Thank . . . you. . . .