Lust Fucking Itself Over Part 2
#4 of Contemporary
Summary: Ellis has to deal with unexpected consequences of his questionable decisions.
I'm meandering through the campus courtyard on my way to my first class of the day. It's one I share with Mathias so I'm looking forward to it, but I've learned he never gets there early. The first snowfall of the season happened yesterday. It's a light sprinkling and with the sun it looks like the grass, trees, and the building are sparkling. It's not snowing now and I'm looking up to search for any clouds that could.
My eyes find none, but my ears are assaulted by shouting, "ELLIS!" I snap to the direction of it and see a white wolf stomping towards me. My instincts tell me to run. "DID YOU DO THIS?!"
I'm more aware than ever that Mathias is bigger than me. We're the same height, but he is bulkier; to the point that he could grab me and break me over his knee like a stick that looked at him wrong. I raise my paws in surrender and attempt to get words out. "D-do wha-what?"
The wolf looks around before reaching into his bag over his shoulder. He pulls out a paper and I know what it is from the window on it that I can see. But he only stops when our cocks are visible then puts it back in. "My mom brought this to me this morning. She said it was on the floor near the entrance."
"I don't..." I begin.
"Now she thinks I'm gay and broke up with Sienna for this fox boy who is very clearly you. The same fox she caught alone with me." The wolf takes a few steadying breaths that fail their purpose. "What the fuck, Ellis?!"
"I didn't..." I think of a way to phrase it so I'm not lying. "I didn't put that there."
"Really? Is there some yaoi club I'm unaware of?!"
That would be convenient wouldn't it? "Um, no, but everyone thinks you're hot and they see us together all the time so maybe it's just someone crushing on you."
"Seems most likely that someone is the one who just called me hot."
My first thought is denial, but again I can't tell a straight lie. "If I was crushing on you, why would I make that and just leave it at your house?"
"I don't know! You tell me."
"I don't know, either." I need to redirect blame somehow and this tactic isn't working. "What if it was somebody who was trying to prank you or something?"
"You saw the picture, if someone wanted to do a prank they wouldn't make something so," he stops speaking then looks away, "elaborate."
"Maybe they had a lot of money." I've never confided in him how well-off my parents are.
"Then why would they go here?" The question is rhetorical, but I have to stop myself from answering, "Because I want to get away from my parents." He continues without letting me respond, "Maybe it's one of the art students here."
"That's quite a few." And it doesn't include me.
"Not too many, though." His stiff posture becomes looser and his ears perk up. "All I gotta do is compare the picture to their portfolio."
"I can help; I know someone." The wolf smiles at that answer and, without saying anything, walks away.
I stop myself from watching Mathias' rear, distracting myself with my phone. I text Arya to meet up, and she says her class ends in thirty minutes, then she's got an hour window. If I went to class, I would get out with only twenty minutes to talk to her and I'm too drained anyway. So I find a lounging area in a quiet part of campus to wait for the bear. I sit at a small table with a window overlooking the courtyard.
Why would Arya slip a copy of the painting under Mathias' door? How does she even know where he lives? The second question is easier: she got the address from Sienna. The "why" I can't discern. Arya wanted me to ask Mathias out, which I was going to do, but she thought that I wouldn't. So she did it to communicate my feelings to the wolf? There's better ways to do that. Arya is the dramatic type, but not to that extreme.
"What'd you need?" The words startle me; I thought Arya would go through the courtyard, but she must have gone the other way. The bear comes around and sits across from me.
"Did you..." It feels wrong to accuse Arya when I can't picture her doing it. "Somebody put a copy of the first painting under Mathias' door."
The bear is unphased. "I didn't do it."
"It has to be you," I argue. "It wasn't me and you haven't posted it online."
She drums her paws on the table before responding, "I did give out a copy."
"To who?"
"Sienna." I point my paws at her in a WTF gesture. "It's my work, I can do what I want with it."
"Out of all the people you could have given it to, you give it to his ex."
"Well, she offered to help fill in the blanks and I thought you'd appreciate the accuracy." Now I know, I do appreciate it, just not the method. I explain Mathias' plan to her. "If he looks at my portfolio, he'll know instantly it's me. Photorealistic is, like, a good third of it."
"So I just gotta make him not look at it."
"He's not stupid. If you try to keep him away from me, he'll know instantly."
"What do you suggest then?"
The bear shrugs. "I gotta get to my next class now."
It hasn't been an hour, but I let her use the excuse to exit the conversation. If she's not going to help me, I'll help myself
*
Arya is right: Mathias isn't stupid, but he might trust me despite knowing he shouldn't. I need to keep him away from Arya. She won't help me conceal anything, however, she isn't going to seek him out either. If she was going to do that, she would have done it already.
It's only a matter of time before Mathias investigates Arya. He might know of her and if not somebody he knows definitely does. Arya's not a loner after all. Again, with that trust I should be able to convince him that I checked and she isn't the one.
So I'm waiting on the opposite side of campus from where I would go through. This part of campus doesn't have any trees-they died in a storm last year-so there's only a bench along a stone pathway that leads to the building, and snow-covered grass. It's not snowing now so I can see the white wolf approaching.
"Hi," I say right before he walks past me.
The wolf stops and, after a moment, faces me. "Hey." He looks around despite there's nothing and no one.
I can't come right out with it and his body language gives me the perfect thing to talk about. "Are you okay? I've noticed you aren't as," there's a lot of words I could say here, but most aren't something I should say, "perky, I guess."
Mathias perks his ears up, which makes him look bizarre with a tail coiled around one leg and ever-seeking eyes. "I'm fine."
"Is it about me?"
"It's not that." The wolf uncurls his tail from his leg and sways it behind him. "It's not anything, I mean."
"You already slipped, Mathias."
"If you want to know so bad, fine." His eyes settle on my chest. "My mom is convinced that the picture is a photograph because she's fucking stupid. And with the lighting, it's hard to tell if it's my room or not. Point is she's kicking me out because she thinks I did gay stuff in her house. Just like...nevermind."
I forgot homophobes exist, I thought his mom was only making fun of him. "Shit, is there a way I can help? My dorm's small, but I got..." I almost offer him money, which would make my part in the painting obvious.
"I don't think so. If I find whoever," he glares at me, "made it, maybe I could convince her. Otherwise, my only option is to whip it out and show her I'm not that big."
The image invoked by his words and the disappointment of him not being that big distract me. When the seconds pass suspiciously, I don't have time to think of something intelligent to say. "Why not do that?"
The wolf smiles like he caught his prey with his claws. "You think I can get a stiffy in front of my mother? Little guy'll hide as far inside as he can go and then even farther."
I fell into his trap. Of course a guilty person would latch onto something that would draw attention away from their guilt. "Um, I've already started asking around. I've confirmed it's not Arya or, um," I realize how obvious it is to only say one name so I pull out a name I've only heard from Arya in passing, "Joey."
"Thanks." The word is sincere, but the shoulder pat he gives me is not and neither are his next words. "I haven't even started yet so it means a lot that you're so motivated."
It isn't until he's gone that I realize that all I did was give him the name of the person I need him not to talk to. I can accept it if Mathias finds out that I'm a creep. After what Dad said, I know I shouldn't deny it. It's him finding out that Sienna is so bitter that I want to prevent. She must have known that his mom would kick him out, they've known each other forever after all. The level of malice to cause that is something no one should receive from someone they care about. The wolf may not have romantic feelings for her anymore, but he still likes her, and thinks that there are no hard feelings between them. I want him to keep thinking that and the only way I can think of is to take the blame for planting the picture. If I could make him believe it, he'd hate me, but it would hurt him less. Although, I justdemonstrated how bad at lying I am.
Arya could lie on my behalf. Say that I was pissed off, figured out his mother is homophobic, and wanted to get back at Mathias. It doesn't sound much like me, and I don't know what I would that angry about, but what else is he supposed to believe? I text Arya to pin everything on me. My reasoning comes out rambly, in the same way she's always understood. Still, it concerns me when she leaves me on read.
Antsy and not wanting to go to class, I sit down on the bench and call Dad since I would have to explain less with him, but he doesn't answer. So I call Mom instead and she picks up immediately.
"This going to be a habit, dear?" There's no sizzling accompanying Mom's voice. "Because I could get used to this even if it's infrequent."
"Maybe, has Dad, um, told you what I told him?" Turns out he hasn't and I recount everything, including the porn. She doesn't tell me off for it, like she knows it's unnecessary.
"Ahh, you have been outplayed by the man you love, how cute." Everything about that sentence floors me and I sputter before she continues, "That plan wouldn't've worked, Ellis. That college is small, but not that small, and a lot of the students won't have much of a portfolio to show-just enough to get in-if they do so at a stranger's bidding at all. He was getting you to react and, let me guess, you pointed him right at..." Loud beeping interrupts Mom that I recognize as the oven's preheat completion notification. "Arya was it?"
"That's..." I get up from the bench and pace along the pathway. "Yeah that's right."
"So, are you going to confess or are you going to let him find out?"
"I was thinking of having Arya pin everything on me."
"You think that'll hurt him less?" I make an affirmative noise. "Truth is better even if it's not something he wants to hear." I don't see the logic in that, but before I can say so Mom rushes out, "Gotta check the pies now, Ellis. Love you."
"Love you, too." She hangs up
*
It's unusual to meet Mathias in a coffee shop. He still doesn't want me at his house, and my dorm is small, but the conversation this is going to be should be in private. Not in this small shop with ten or so tables full of keen-eared furs (wolves, coyotes, and different species of bats). Especially considering how angry he got when he thought I was the culprit. If Arya did what I asked, he would believe it now and, if she didn't, he would be a worse version of when we watched that movie. However, to invite me here, the wolf must think he can keep himself under control. No one would care as long as Mathias doesn't make a scene, but knowing they could listen to everything we say over the general chatter makes me uncomfortable.
I'm so focused on the strangers surrounding me that I don't notice Mathias enter until he's almost to the small table I'm sitting at. He must be impatient since he doesn't order anything. He isn't rushing though, weaving between tables and patrons politely. I give a small wave with the paw not holding the latte to my lips, hoping that alleviates some of the awkwardness I'm feeling; it doesn't. Especially when he sits across from me and doesn't say anything. We make eye contact, but as the silence drags on, I find it preferable to examine the swirls of white in my latte. It seems too late for a "hi" and I want him to lead the conversation. What am I supposed to open with? An apology?
"Sooooo?" I drag out the word until he interrupts it.
"Arya told me everything and..." He mimics the fascination in my latte as he trails off.
Of course he says it like that. The only clue I have to what she told him is the soft tone he's using. Not something you would use towards somebody that fucked up your life. I guess I should have been more articulate in my text to Arya, or she decided that lying isn't right. Typically, I'd agree, but here it feels beneficial for everybody. Mathias gets his perception for only one person ruined, Sienna doesn't have to deal with the consequences of her actions, which Arya probably wants too, and I get to see Mathias furious instead of depressed.
"I'm not mad about it or anything. It's just weird." His eyes flick up to mine and, reflexively, mine do the same. "No, I'm not going to downplay it. It's creepy. Especially with how much emphasis Arya put on your repetitive use of it."
Good, he's going to focus on that part of it. "Yeah, it is creepy. I know. I-I don't know what's wrong with me."
"The thing she didn't seem to know is why you didn't just...y'know say something instead of..."
As the fascination of my latte starts to return for both of us, I chug the rest of it. "You were with Sienna and..."
"After that," Mathias interjects.
"Then you were sad about it."
The wolf grips the side of the table. "No, I wasn't."
"The-the movie. You were crying."
"It was a sad movie and I related to it. That's all."
"I wa..." Mathias' gaze grows intense, making it impossible to not stutter. "I wasn't sure."
"So you were just going to keep jerking off to me because you thought I was sad. For, like, ever?"
"I was planning to say something the day your m-mother came."
"Convenient excuse," he spits those two words then recollects himself. "After that?"
"I thought you," I glance away to speak, "h-hated me."
"That's why you were acting that way? Is there an after that?"
"Yes, but then..." I don't want to mention Sienna's betrayal.
"Arya interceded and now we're here."
"Ary..." I stop myself from asking what he means to ask the next question that comes to mind and hope it comes off as another stutter. "Are you mad at me?" "I said I wasn't." He notices the firm grip he has on the table. "Okay, a little because I wished you talked to me instead of...y'know. Mostly at Arya, though. She could have just told me, and all she said in defense is that she was being stupid."
I'm piecing it together, but I don't want to say anything about it in case I'm wrong so I change the subject. "So what happens now?"
"Between us, you mean?" I nod. "I don't know. I gotta figure out stuff with my mom. After that...I don't know. I'll message you or something when I do know."
The wolf looks around, seeming to realize the people around him as his black-tipped ears go down. He mumbles something then leaves me alone at the table.