FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Author's note: Yes, I know I said in the comments that I would make this installment a Christmas special. Well, here's something you should probably know; I'm massively unreliable. So if your looking for Christmas cuteness, well, I'll try to have another up by tomorrow.

Don't get your hopes up, though.

My alarm went off, and I backhanded it from its precarious perch. Showing once again that it and its' kind are the spawn of the devil, the accursed alarm clock continued to ring. Muttering vile imprecations, I blearily got up and snatched it up. Mashing the 'off' button with a savage glee, I placed it back on its stand a bit harder than was necessary. I sat back on the bed, trying to focus my eyes. Robot-like, I staggered to my mirror, and got my daily dose of DBTCS. Stuttering manically from the electric charge, I threw my clothes on. I had to go to work today. After getting into my outfit, I leaned over the bed, and ruffled the head of one of its' two occupants.

Sally, my darling Lupine, slowly blinked deep green eyes open. I smiled. "Morning, puppy."

She smiled too, and rolled on her back, revealing her abdomen. "Good morning, Master."

I scratched the fluffy fur on her belly. "Sally, I've got to go to work today. I'll be back around six. I'm leaving Falin here to take care of you, so when he wakes up, ask if you need something."

With surprising speed, she curled around my arm, and held me fast. Mournful eyes looked up at me. "Master, do you have to go?"

I sighed. "Sally, I don't like it any more than you do, but someone's got to bring home the bacon, and," I hastily added, "you probably think that means killing a pig, so that leaves the job to me. Besides, I'm not going to be gone that long."

She said nothing, and just whined instead.

I smiled. "Aww... Is puppy sad? I can fix that."

I started to tickle her. She squirmed and yelped in delight as my hands dug into her sides. She rolled over and over, and I followed, until she played too rough and bit my arm.

"Ow!"

Suddenly, Sally was sad again. She whined loudly, and licked my arm where she'd bitten me. She hadn't broken the skin, thank goodness. She looked up like she expected me to hit her. Instead, I just took her head in both hands, and shook it gently. "It's alright, Sally, I'm fine. Now, I've got leave, or..."

A grumpy, Irish voice from the foot of the bed interrupted me. "Oh, for Pete's sake, will you just go? Let us sleep, at least."

That voice came from the other occupant of the bed, Falin. He was a Feline, and the newest resident of my house. I stroked Sally's ears a few more times, and said "Do I detect a hint of jealousy?"

Falin rolled over, and said "No, you detect a hint of be-quiet-and-let-a-poor-Feline-get-his-rest."

I let go of Sally, and ruffled his ears. "Alright, have it your way. I'm leaving Sally with you, so don't burn the house down or anything while I'm gone."

He snored in response. I kissed Sally on top of her muzzle, and left, taking only the time to turn on some lights before I left.

That day was the greatest day I'd had at work in over 15 years. Gone was the consuming self-loathing, gone was the hate that I stored up for myself. Adopting two Wildlians felt like it had cleaned some gunk out of my soul that had been there far too long. I even whistled as I worked, singing a little song to myself. "A, c, g, a, c, a, c... G, t, t, c, a, c, t..." While this at first looks like gibberish, what I was actually doing is splicing up a genome. I was working with the building blocks of DNA; Adenine, guanine, cytosine, and thymine. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed my work. The day passed quickly, and I hopped with glee (considering I'm chief technician at Wildtech, this raised some eyebrows) into my 2030 Honda Jest. I sped off for home, whistling.

What happened then was, I suppose, inevitable. Some of my friends who have children told me about it, but I always thought it was exaggeration. I started to get paranoid about Sally.

Falin, I didn't worry about; he seemed world-wise enough to handle himself. But Sally... Even though she was a mathematical savant, she was only seven years old, actual time. Wildlians were bred to reach adolescence quickly, so she looked much older than she was. She hadn't had time to learn the ins and outs of human interaction, much less the ways of the world. I started to sweat. What if she'd gotten out, and gone looking for me? What if she panicked and hurt herself? What if someone broke in? Falin would mess them up, I knew that for sure, but if they got to Sally first... I added another 15 miles per hour of gas as I thought. When I parked my gar in my attached garage, I flew with agility belying my 38 years, and pelted through the manor, looking for Sally.

All of a sudden, I tripped. The floor was wet, and I plowed a path with my face halfway across my kitchen before coming to rest at Falin's feet. He leaned against the mop he had, and smirked down at me. "Boss, I know I clean good enough to eat off of, but don't you think this is a mite far?" I grimaced at the bitter taste of floor polish.

"Where," I said, "is Sally? Is she alright?"

He looked over my prone body, and said "Well, speak of an angel."

I looked over my shoulder just in time to catch a blur of grey fur and green eyes just before Sally bowled me over. "Master!" she cried, as she draped herself over my frame and started licking my face. I embraced her back with a sigh of relief, and tickled her ears. She purred mightily, and started rubbing her muzzle along my face. Falin tsked, and started re-mopping the area that we'd messed up. He prodded us with the handle and said "Get a room, would ye? I've got to get under you."

I stood up, holding Sally in my arms. She refused to support her own weight or stop licking me. I carried her into the family room, and let her wear herself out. When she was done, she curled up in my lap, and smiled up at me, squeezing her eyes shut. I scratched slowly behind her ears, and said "I'd ask if you missed me, but I think you answered that sufficiently." She didn't answer, and just snuggled further against me. Falin came in with a feather duster, and began dusting some shelves. I watched him in curiosity. "Whatcha doin', Falin? Shouldn't you be resting?"

He snorted, although whether at my comment or the dust, I do not know. "I got bored, Boss. I tried watching television, but I turned it off. Those announcers are bigger twits than my former owners, and those are big shoes to fill. Besides, this place could do with a good cleaning. Dust everywhere, floors haven't been cleaned in God knows how long, clutter, clutter, everywhere... I have my work cut out for me."

I shrugged. "Well, if you insist, far be it from me to stop you."

Falin blew a bit of dust off of a collection of old Asimov books. "So, what's for dinner?"

I went cold inside. I would have jumped up, but Sally was still rolling around in ecstasy in my lap.

"Telomeres! I forgot dinner!"

Falin laughed, a light, airy sound. "Telomeres? That's your go-to? Once a scientist, I suppose... Anyway, Boss, calm yourself. Supper has been taken care of. I was rooting through your freezer, and connected a few dots. Simple."

I blinked in surprise. "You know how to cook?"

Falin flashed me a toothy smile. "Can I cook? Good sir, you insult me. Whenever you and the lovely Ms. Sally care to partake of it, I can show off my mastery of the art."

I had no idea if this was his normal speech pattern, or if he was making fun of me, but I rolled with it. I looked down at Sally. "Hungry, puppy?"

She opened her eyes and nodded. I helped her to her feet, and we let Falin lead the way to the kitchen. I sat down at the table, and Sally sat next to me, scooching her chair closer to mine than was perhaps necessary. I looked around for Falin, but was instead rewarded with a view of a sterling silver serving dish, which was one of three Falin set on the table. At some point, he must have gotten into my silverware. He smiled mischievously as he placed his paw on the top of it. I gulped; any Wildlian smiling is likely to give you the jitters, as their teeth are numerous, sharp, and I must say, rather intimidating. Thankfully, instead of ripping my head off like a jungle predator, Falin simply removed the top dish of the platter. Resting within was something straight out of a domestic magazine; filet of tilapia, with a lemon-lime glaze, with a side of wild rice and diced tomatoes.

I instantly began to salivate. I'm not a big fan of fish myself, but the scent coming from it was driving me insane. I managed to restrain myself until Falin uncovered both his and Sally's dishes, and sat down. Then I snatched up my silverware, and was about to simply jab the fish and suck it down in one bite. However, I looked up at Falin, who was doing something a little creepy. His right eye was looking at his meal, but his left was staring straight at me, almost 45 degrees away. He was smiling, and the sight made me shiver. Remembering his manners from the previous night, I reined in my appetite, and slowly cut a piece from the succulent filet, and put it in my mouth.

I closed my eyes, and sighed. It was delicious. I'd had meals at restaurants less appetizing than this. The lemon teased my tongue, the lime tantalized it, and the fish satiated it. I paused for a second, and frowned to myself. Lord... My inner monologue sounds like erotic fiction.

Falin narrowed his eyes in concern. "Something the matter?"

I waved my hand dismissively. "No, no, just thinking something. This is fantastic, by the way; how on Earth did you learn to cook like this?"

Falin grinned widely, and scratched the back of his head. "Eh, well... I said I turned off the telly, right? To be correct, I should have said I also turned it back on. I found a cooking show, and, well... Here we are."

I speared another bit of fish. Gesturing with the fork, I said "Here's to one of the few decent shows on television. Anything that helped make this can't be all bad."

Falin held his paws pressed in front of his face, and bowed a little. "I endeavor to excellence."

I frowned through a mouthful of fish. "Are yu mathking fun ub me?" (I never claimed to be coherent, just erudite)

Falin smirked. "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Believe what you will. Ms. Sally, how are you enjoying yours?"

I looked over to Sally. She had her muzzle down over the plate, and had been sniffing the fish for at least thirty seconds. She looked up at my comment, and stared at me with soulful eyes. I was puzzled.

"Uh, Sally? You don't need my permission to eat. You know that, right?"

She looked down at her food, and then gently grasped the filet in her jaws. Jerking her head forward, she swallowed the fish whole. She then shook her head gently, and barked softly once.

Falin raised an eyebrow, and whispered to me. "Eh... Boss, is there something... Off, about her?"

I whispered back. "I'm not sure. Whenever I ask about what happened before she ended up in the adoption center, she just goes quiet and stares at me with big eyes. I'm considering consulting a psychologist."

"Good idea, but I thought we were talking about Sally."

I kicked him under the table. "Har-de-har. I'm serious. Physically, she's just fine..."

Falin winked at Sally from across the table. "Oh, I'd say she's more than fine."

"Focus. I said she's fine physically, but if there's something wrong in her head, then it's my duty to help her fix it. The only problem is, she's so sensitive I don't know if she'll even cooperate."

"Do you even know someone who'd do it?"

"Yeah, I got a coworker who does it for a living. She's on permanent retainer to Wildtech, so she's probably free tomorrow. I could take her in with me tomorrow, and have her checked out while I'm... No, that'd be mean. I should be there with her."

Throughout this exchange, Sally was lapping up the wild rice with her tongue, but near the end, she looked up, and whimpered. She must have thought we were talking about her. (Yes, technically, we were, but you know what I mean). She jumped down, and padded around next to my chair. I rubbed her fuzzy head, and said "Hey, Sally; if I took you to work with me tomorrow, would you answer from questions from a nice lady I know?"

She put her paws up on my lap, and licked my face. "Yes, Master! I get to see where you work?"

I fondled her silky ears, and said "You sure do, puppy." I turned to Falin. "Are you going to be okay here by yourself tomorrow?"

Falin snorted, and leaned back. "Surely you jest. With you clodhoppers out of the way, I can finally get some work done!"

I rolled my eyes. "Lord, preserve me from felicitous Felines."

After dinner, we retired to the family room. I got out an old board game, and we tried that. At first, Sally did abysmally. She kept knocking over figurine, losing the dice, making bad decisions... But when I encouraged her to look at it from a mathematical viewpoint, she turned into a machine. She bought up all the hot properties, threw down plenty of hotels, and dang it all if we weren't out of money in 15 minutes. As I put the game away, Sally stood up on four legs and stretched luxuriously. I had to watch, it was so precious. First, she stuck out her back right leg, and strained for a moment, then did the same with the left. Then, she stretched herself out, and put her rear in the air and her belly to the ground, and reached forward. It was so undeniably cute that I reached over and scratched the base of her tail. She yipped, and rolled over on her back, paws in the air. I put the game down, and we wrestled for a while.

I gotta say, I'm in pretty good shape for a geneticist, but Sally could kick my ass if she tried. First, I tried to pin her arms, but she pummeled me with her legs until I let go. Then, she rolled on top of me, and started hugging me so hard I started gasping. Finally, I was able to get her to let go by yanking her tail. She barked, and I rolled over and grabbed her muzzle. She growled playfully and shook her head, but I held on. Eventually, she broke my grip and rolled back on top. Then, she pinned my arms down, and started licking my face. Since I couldn't do anything to stop it, she licked until she got tired, and then collapsed on me, purring loudly.

I picked her up, and carried her upstairs. After brushing my teeth, I flopped into bed. I almost flopped out when I heard a grunt, and looked up in surprise. Falin was at the foot of the bed again, and was staring at me blearily. "O'right, Boss, turn the light off and give us some peace." Acquiescing, I turned the light off, a second before a big ball of grey fur bounced into the bed and snuggled up next to me. Sally was purring extremely loudly, and was running her index finger up and down my side. I blushed, and lay back, putting my arm around her.

I felt Falin's warm weight at the foot of the bed shift sleepily, and Sally cuddled closer to me under the covers. I squished my head deeper into the pillow, and thought. Wow, is there a luckier guy than me in the world?

Is this what having a family feels like?