FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The moments after their initial formal introduction, Tik Tik and Niv sit relatively quietly. Only the clopping of protoplasmic pseudo hooves, the creaking of the wagon, and the ambiance of nature filled in the awkward silence produced by the pair of kobolds.

Niv remains bound by the magical ropes, intricately tied by the magic of the wizard kobold, but there is a calmness to him as he takes a deep breath and breaks the silence. "So, ya caught me. What are you going to do to me?"

Tik Tik shakes her head, playing with the gooey reigns of her slimy steed. "Oh, don't worry," she says, "Tik Tik won't do anything bad with you. Just needed make big show so not involve guards. You would be in big trouble, stealing from a wizard. Must be desperate, yes?"

"You looked like an easy mark," he admits. "Distracted, boozy, not too smart."

"And that is kobold great strength, yes, Niv."

"I wouldn't know much about that," Niv admits. "But I wonder, are kobolds good escape artists?"

"They good trap makers. Make hard escape."

Niv grunts his agreement and slumps against the back of his seat. "So, what do you want with me? You got yourself a captive audience."

"Righty, right!" says Tik Tik, producing her book from its pouch. She places it upon his lap, turning one page and then the other until it lands upon a detailed sketch of a spherical object with many notes scribbled in some foreign script. He points her claw to it, leaning in, placing her chin upon his shoulder.

"This is special artifact," Tik Tik says, "and powerful sorceress wants capture artifact too. Tik Tik want get it and add it to Tik Tik's collection, yes?"

He quirks his eyebrow, "But what does this have to do with me?"

"You the first who accept Tik Tik's invitation."

"But I didn't accept-"

Niv's words end just as the fat pouch of coins lands upon the book, adding considerable weight to his lap.

"That what Tik Tik offers for ally to help steal thing. Ancient traps there. Need thief help out. You in?"

The only response that comes from Niv is the growling of his stomach.

"Tik Tik take that as 'yes,' and we go from there, okie dokie? Maybe get some snack before go!"

"N-Now wait," he snaps as she gathers her book, letting the pouch plop onto him.

"Hm...?"

"I-I don't even know who you are or what this artifact does or is."

"Does it matter?" she asks, tilting her head.

"I mean," he says, glancing down at the pouch, licking his lips. "Shouldn't it? Like, if this were to do something bad for other people. Shouldn't I care about that?"

"Why?"

"Huh?"

Tik Tik crosses one leg over the other, resting her chin on the back of her hand. "All is good if Tik Tik and friends do well, yes? Others get hurt not Tik Tik's fault. If Tik Tik need money, Tik Tik make money. But don't worry, Tik Tik not in business of hurt. Tik Tik in business feel good."

"Feel good?"

"Mmm hmmm."

He blilnks, shifting slightly, seeking comfort in this awkward situation. "So, are you, like, a hooker or something?"

Tik Tik giggles, ruffling up his hair. "Niv, Niv, Niv, no, Tik Tik no trade sex for money. Tik Tik use sex for knowledge!"

"What?"

"No need worry, handsome head over it," the kobold says, and the cart stops.

She hops off the cart, her spectral hands reappear and grab Niv by the side. They lift him up, dangling him over the slimy steed and dangling him in front of Tik Tik before dropping him to his bound-up feet. "Now, we here. What Niv need to do good thiefy job?"

Niv scoots on his toes, looking around the clearing, utterly empty of any evidence of civilization. Even the road ends where this place begins. He shakes his head and says, "I guess adventurer equipment?"

Tik Tik claps her hands, and the horse dissolves into the oozy form, slinking back into the wagon. After a few moments of rummaging, a more humanoid form steps out of the back, carrying a pack, a belt of tools, weapons, and leathers.

"Here you go, Miss Tik," says the figure, slurping in front of Niv.

Niv shuffles back but loses his balance, falling backward.

"Yiiiiiee op"

A large pseudopod catches Niv like a mattress, but he soon begins to slip into the form that holds him.

"Uhh, you're not going to eat me, a-are you?"

The slime smiles. "Not at all, and I primarily subsist on bodily fluids."

"Eshere will eat the bindings on you now, Niv. You have equipment you can wear, so know Tik Tik will trust you."

"Does that mean this is made from like blood or something?"

"Oh no, it magic all the way, but made to be like living things, so Eshere can dissolve. It's Tik Tik slime food."

"Not my favorite treat, but it'll do," says the slime as her form engulfs the kobold. His yelps are stifled as he's encased in the translucent embrace of the slime girl, her form tingling against his body. The sensation is like millions of little kisses all over him, making him thrash about as the slime penetrates through nooks and crannies, hitting sensitive areas that make him jerk and tickle. When tears form in his eyes from the involuntary laughs, she slurps them up, but he also finds himself soon freed as the bands dissolve.

Once free from his bounds, Niv swims swiftly up through the slime, escaping with a large, gasping gulp.

"Ah, finally done?" Tik Tik says. "Let's get ready go!"