Renamom
First Story, YAY!!!
I'm actually quie proud of the title. I think it's in deliciously poor taste, as if the story itself wasn't bad enough.
Ok, it's short and it sucks, but what I really want is to get a feel for writing before I do anything real (?). If you would be so kind, might you read through this short passage, and critique my work? Critique the hell out of it? I know I can't spell, I am sure my grammer sucks, and in every english class I have ever taken my teachers told me not to write in the passive tense, but what I really want to know is how my writing comes across to other people. So, if you could write up a five page report.....
(alright fine, jk, but please do review my writing style. I know the story sucks..... lol)
Rena was on her back, staring above her. Laying on her chest was her four-year-old son, the only remaining member of her familly. The boy lay atop his mother on his stomatch, his small groin posistioned on his mother's and his lips wrapped around her breast, drawing upon its milk.
As much as for sustinence, the act was to consolidate the already extreamly intimate bond between Rena and her child: Opoch. All four years sense his birth young Opoch would drink his mother's milk. He didn't rely on it soley, and in fact he couldn't, but it was the prefered source of nutrition for both mother and son. As often as he could he would spend his time on his mother's breast. Hours he could spend on top of her with his moth around her nipple, drinking the warm, soft, delicious liquid it produced. Even when the boy had neither hunger nor thirst he would draw forth the milk, taste it, feel it, then let it fall and run down his mother's breast. He grew to love those breast and having his mouth around them gave him such a sense of warmth, security, and love, that it would have been impossible for the child to be more intimate with his mother.
Rena herself could scarcely be more intimate with the boy. When her child put his mouth around her breast and drew forth the rich milk she had made just for him, she would go mad with just a little bit of lust and so much love. To be able to nurish her baby so borugh her untold joy. She would watch him lose himself; he let down his guard completly, he was absolutley vulnerable when he nursed her. To his mother, Opoch was the most beutiful, loveing, inocent thing in the world. And even when he was without hunger he gave himself to her as such. His little mouth around he tip of her breast, he would draw on it and hold the milk against it before he let it slowly leak away between his lips and her breast as he drew in another mouthful. And that warm feeling of her own milk running down that breast, through her fur made her mad! The white fur of her groin was oftern soaking as was her son's sense it usually lay atop her own.
Rena lay in the grass under the tree looking up at the beutiful canopy and the sky above that stretched out above it. Opoch lay, eyes closed, nursing his mother. His groin, pushed against his mother's by the hand resting gentley on his right butock, was now just as wet as her own. Rena's other arm was wrapped around the child, her hand stroking the fur along his back. She allowed herself to become intoxicated with the situation. She took in the beutiful colors, and the scents of the surrounding land as well as her sex. She listened to the breeze blow through the grass and the trees, the bable of the nearby brook, the chirping and sqaubling of the birds around her, the buzz of the insects, the murmers of little Opoch, and her heartbeat which sounded in her ears like a drum. She felt the sun apon her face, the breeze blowing through her fur, the prikle of the grass on her back, her son's mouth around her breast, the wetness of her arousal and warmth of her child's body, pressed up close to her own.
Rena let out a little gasp as she felt her son's lips loseten around her breast and his hips press harder aginst her own as he began to relieve himself. The feelings came simutaniously; the milk that was in Opoch's mouth washed over her breast and the wetness of her crotch was increased with the adition of his urine. Warmth flooded over her loins, and Opoch's too, as he emptied his bladder where he lay, all the while sucking apon his mother's left breast and letting the milk wash over it the way they both so enjoyed. Rena pressed herself harder to her child as she felt his stream weaken, and she let out another gasp, this time not as small. It was Rena who was the source of this new warmth as her loins exploded, and she began to desperatly grind her crotch against Opoch's as she came. She gasped for air in the afterglow of her orgasm. Opoch lay atop her, eyes closed, gently suckling her left breast, their cum and urine soaked crotches pushed tightly together.
"Opoch," Rena spoke her child's name with profound love as she stroked the fur on her child's head, "My baby."