FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

We walked up to the house in silence, my Master walking with his head hung. Dealing with me was really taking a toll on him. The kids were in their room by the time we got to the house. We went up to my Masters room and my Master walked listlessly over to the shower and turned the water on. I slipped out of my clothes and put them in the hamper and followed him into the shower. He was still silent and I felt guilty for the problems I was causing him. He got under the hot water and stood there, seemingly at the point of despair. I got behind him and wrapped my arms around him in a big hug.

"Master, that was really impressive. I've never seen anything like the dunk you did. I should have said something earlier, but I was speechless when you did it."

"Thanks." He said without enthusiasm. He really seemed down, it obviously hurt him badly that the pups were upset with him. I was screwing everything up for everybody. The pups hated me, now they were angry with their father. My Master's wife was getting impatient with him and was disappointed with me. Everybody was mad at me and mad at my Master for for bringing me here . I felt bad that I had come between my Master and his family, my Master deserved better than me. I was a disappointment to them and to myself. I moved around in front of my Master and dropped to my knees, smiling up at him. He tried to smile and failed miserably. I cupped my Master's heavy balls in my left hand and used my right hand to bring his sheathed member to my lips. I peeled his sheath back until the head was peaking out and I took it gently and lovingly into my mouth. I ran my tongue around it lightly. I took more into my mouth and started sucking on it, but nothing was happening. My Master was still completely flaccid, I was getting no response at all. I looked up at my Master and I could tell he was almost in tears. He reached down and pulled me to my feet.

"I'm sorry Beau, I'm just not in the mood right now." He finished showering and got out without another word. He got in the high speed dryer, and I started drying with a towel. I finished before my Master and waited for him. He got out of the dryer, crawled into bed and lay on his back staring at the ceiling. I got into bed and rested my head over his heart and held him tight. He acted like I wasn't even there. It was everything I could do to keep from crying. I was destroying my Master's whole life. When I fell asleep my Master was still awake staring silently at the ceiling.

When I woke in the morning my Master was already gone. I got up, got dressed and walked down to the dining room for breakfast. Sigyn and the pups were already there eating hotcakes and sausage with maple syrup. Sigyn put some food on my plate but didn't speak to me. The pups were talking excitedly among themselves.

"It's going to be fun playing war games today. This is the day I'm gonna get Arnold." Fenrir said to the other pups.

"Come on Fenrir, no one ever beats Arnold at war games. In fact no one ever beats Arnold at anything!" Odo chided back at him.

"Well I plan on beating him today."

They went on and on about the war games. Why didn't they let me play that instead of fucking basketball. That was something I had a lot of skills at, even though when the Sheps came all of us panicked and just ran instead of using our outdoor skills. Well all except fucking David I guess. Although I do have to grudgingly admit that he was such a natural at them that he still was probably the only one that would have completely evaded them. They continued discussing strategies and how they were going to beat Woden's pups, but I was trapped in my own head. No one was talking to me, my Master had left before I got up. I didn't know if he was mad at me or not. I didn't know what to do.

After they finished breakfast the pups got on their bikes and rode off to where ever they were playing "war games", and I went up to my room to play video games. I played for about an hour when I heard the front door open and someone come in. I thought it was my Master so I tried to sneak down stairs to surprise him. But it wasn't my Master, it was the beautiful female Shep I had seen on the television the other day. I didn't remember her name, but I remembered she was Woden's wife. Sigyn gave her a friendly hug when she came in the door.

"Come on in Freyja. I'll have Butler bring in some coffee and danish. Chef made a really good batch of cherry cheese danish."

"Your Chef makes such good baked goods, I hope they are anywhere near as good as the pecan bear claws he made last week."

They walked into the sitting room, Freyja sat in the wing chair and Sigyn sat in the rocking chair. Butler brought in a tray with coffee cups, cream, sugar cubes, a pot of coffee and a half dozen cherry cheese danish. He asked what they wanted in their coffee, prepared it and served it to them with a danish. He put the tray on the coffee table and took the coffee back into the kitchen, put it on the warmer, returned to the sitting room and stood quietly and attentively in the corner waiting to freshen their coffee or get them another danish.

"So how are your pups doing?" Sigyn asked after taking sip of her coffee.

"They start second grade after lunch today. I have a surprise for them."

"What's the surprise?"

"David is going to start taking lessons with them."

"You mean your feral?" Sigyn looked at her incredulously.

"Yeah. Why the look."

"Aren't they going to have a fit?"

"Why?" Freyja looked at her with a perplexed look on her face.

"I know my pups would probably run away from home if they had to have lessons with our stupid FT."

"The pups love David, especially the boys. It's so cute, they call him their brother. Right now he is out playing war games with them while Woden's at work. And to be truthful I think of him like another son. He is so sweet. You know how boys are when they get our pups ages, they are trying to act grown up so they don't want their mom hugging on them."

"I know what you mean, my boys squirm every time I put my arms around them these days." Sigyn said rolling her eyes.

"Well David was an orphan, his mom and dad were killed protecting him from a grizzly bear when he was only 5 and he was raised by the tribe not by a family. He is just starved for affection. Not that he doesn't get plenty from Woden, those two won't leave each other alone. You know what a horn dog Woden is, at first I felt sorry for David. But now I'm starting to feel sorry for Woden, the kid just can't seem to get enough. But sometimes he just needs a mother's kind of attention."

"You haven't had ANY problems with him?"

"Heaven's NO! I can't imagine what life would be like without him around now. He's thoughtful, obedient, good with the pups and he and Woden are completely inseparable. He couldn't worship Woden any more than he does now if Woden was God. You can see it in his eyes every time he looks at him."

"They don't ever fight or argue?"

"Of course not! What would make you think that?"

"Well Loki and our feral FT get into it all the time. He just doesn't know his place. Any Shep other than Woden would treat Loki with more respect and adoration than FT does. His men will willingly follow him through anything, but not our useless FT. I think Loki needs to show him his place like he would do any Shep subordinate, any of them would beg for Loki to do them. FT on the other hand thinks submitting some how makes him less of a man. I thought getting feral for Loki would be good for him and for the family. You know what it's like being married to a high powered dog. Both of our husbands have testosterone squirting out of their ears and because of their positions they really can't have a regular subordinate to take care of their needs. I thought a pet would be able to take care of those needs and be a welcome addition to the family."

"Well David has been all that and more."

"Well our family can't survive this much longer, if FT can't get his act together, I'm gonna have to tell Loki that either he has to go or I'm going and taking the pups with me."

I couldn't listen any more. I blundered back into my room, I could barely see through the tears that were steadily flowing. Here I was fucking up Loki's family and David was bringing Woden's family such joy. I got on my bed and cried myself to sleep.

At lunchtime my Master came up and woke me up. "Get up Beau, it's time for lunch."

I tried to hide my face so my Master wouldn't see that I had been crying, but I wasn't successful. He looked like he was having a rough time too. We went down to the informal dining room and sat down.

"The pups will be done with their showers soon, they always come home such a mess from playing war games." Sigyn informed us as we sat down. Butler came out with some iced tea for the 3 of us as we waited. Soon the pups came running in, hooting and carrying on.

"Did you guys win today?" My Master asked.

"No, we got beat again." Odo complained.

"I know exactly how you feel, beating Arnold is tough, I had to deal with his father when I was your age." My Master replied.

"It wasn't Arnold, I nailed him today!" Fenrir said.

"Well there's no shame in losing to any of Woden's pups they are all pretty tough."

"It wasn't any of them. The 4 of us and Ansulm's and Dagmar's pups, challenged Arnold and his 'brothers'."

"That doesn't sound very fair, 8 against 3." My Master countered

"That's what I thought too, but it was 8 against 4." Fenrir contined.

"You pups didn't let Brunhild play did you."

"No, of course we wouldn't play against her. It was their new 'brother', David."

"Oh!" My Master said with a chuckle. "And you underestimated him?"

"Big Time! I thought he was just a useless fucking feral and he creamed us." Fenrir replied with a shit eating grin on his face. "He is really cool daddy."

"Yeah, he got over half of us all by himself." Baldwin enthused.

"I guess I never told you pups that no one ever caught him on the hunt. He evaded us for 3 days and finally when we were ready to leave he gave himself up to Woden because he had fallen in love with him."

"Well I can see how, we never saw him the whole game as he was picking us off one by one." Adelwolf chimed in.

"Woden's pups treat him just like he is their brother, I wish we had a cool feral like David. We're all friends now!" Fenrir added.

That was all I could take, tears were starting to well up in my eyes. My Master realized what was happening a little to late. I couldn't face him or the pups like this so I just ran to my room. I went in my room and closed the door. I lay on the bed for a while and recognized the first slight pangs of withdrawal. I hadn't been with my Master for about 24 hours, but it wasn't real bad, I could deal with it at least until I regained my composure. I needed something to keep my mind off of things so I turned on Super Mario and began playing. I was getting pretty good at it and soon was engrossed in the game. Well at least until I got the rhythm going, then my mind started to wander. I kept thinking about what Sigyn said about leaving Loki, and how wonderful Freyja thought David was. And how wonderful Loki's pups thought David was. They should have been my pups and now they were David's friends. I thought about how heartbroken my Master was last night. And interspersed with all of it was my increasing longing for what ever was in my Master's seed. To my surprise I finished the first world for the first time. But I was mentally exhausted and I stopped and lay my head down on the pillow and cried myself to sleep again.

My Master came up to wake me at dinner time. "Beau are you OK?" He asked after he saw my eyes were puffy and bloodshot.

"Yes Master." I lied, "Although I think I'm starting to go through withdrawals a little."

"I'm sorry I couldn't last night. I think I can manage after dinner to help you out." Great, he could manage to help me out, not that he wanted to because he loved me and wanted me. We walked downstairs and sat down at the dinner table. The pups had just got out from their lesson, and had started talking among themselves about David again. Sigyn started telling my Master about her meeting with Freyja and how well David was fitting in. I was irritable because I needed a fix from my Master and I was hungry.

"You know Loki, maybe you are babying FT too much, maybe you should use some tough love on him." Sigyn commented. "He needs to show you respect."

"Yeah, I need to be more like fucking David!"

"Beau, just relax I'll handle this."

"Fuck You! I didn't ask to be captured and brought here."

"Beau, calm down."

"Don't tell me to fucking calm down! And my name is Fucking Jeff!"

"You ungrateful little Fuck Toy, I've tried everything I can to help you fit in. David is doing just fine, he hasn't just accepted his place, he revels in it. I want us to be like that, and you know deep down inside that you want it to."

"David, David, David. It's always fucking David. Did you ever think maybe David is so submissive because his master is Woden? Maybe I would accept my place if I had a master half as perfect as Woden." I wished I could take it back as soon as the words left my mouth.

"FT, shut the fuck up!" My Master said with a fury that I had never seen from him before. He snapped my leash on, dragged me to my room and threw me on the bed. "FT, you're right. I DON'T measure up to Woden. I've spent all my life trying to measure up to Woden and I just can't. No one does. If that is what it is going to take to make you submit to me and love me, then we need to quit this charade right now. I've tried to give you my heart, but I guess that's just not enough." He unsnapped my leash. A tear came to his eye, but he turned quickly not wanting me to see him crying. He put my leash on the hook outside the door and closed the door behind him as he left.

I had never felt so low in my life, I had just snapped at my Master, and he didn't deserve it. I lay in my bed feeling as wretched as I ever had in my entire life.

I heard the pups go into their room, dinner must be over. I could hear them talking as they played a video game in their room which was right next to mine. The best place to overhear them was my closet, which was against the wall that divided their room from mine.

"I can't believe how lucky Woden's pups are." Fenrir complained. "Their feral is really cool."

"Yeah, David is awesome!" Added Odo.

"It's like they have another brother. And we get stuck with useless old FT." Fenrir continued.

"Well even Dad is embarrassed by him, that's why he started calling him FT, like a domesticated human." Chimed in Baldwin.

"Dad is right, all he is good for is being a Fuck Toy." Finished Fenrir.

The words cut me to my heart, mainly because they were true. My Master wanted my heart more than my body, but instead I was acting like a prostitute giving him sex in return for whatever was in his seed that I craved so much. Every time I would wonder why I couldn't be more like David and surrender my heart completely to my Master, my pride and jealousy would rear it's ugly head. And now my Master's pups not only hated me they thought David was "Awesome". They were right, I was useless.

"It's bad enough that he's a useless dork, but Dad spends all his time trying to work with him. He never spends any time with us any more." Adelwolf bitched.

"Yeah, I don't think Dad even likes him, but he feels responsible for him since he captured him out of the wild. So he feels obligated to try and make it work." Added Odo.

"Well I'm fucking sick of it, I wish we could just get rid of him. He's ruining our lives. I wish we could have Dad back to his old self, where he played with us everyday, instead of kissing FT's ass. I hate him so much." Fenrir added with venom. "I mean I know they aren't all like David, but we got stuck with a complete fucking loser. What the fuck was Dad thinking?"

That was enough. Everyone hated me and it was all my fault. I couldn't go on like this, I was breaking up this once happy family. So I went to the door and quietly opened it enough to reach out and get my leash off of the hook outside the door. Fortunately the ceilings were tall in this house, it would make what I had to do easier. I went to the closet and started to take the clothes off of the hanging bar. Since it was made for Sheps, it was too high, so I brought the desk chair over to it. I soon had all the clothes laying on the bed. Then I got back up on the chair. I ran the snap end of the leash through the handle and made a slip knot. I put the loop over my head and down around my neck. I pulled the end and the knot tightened smoothly. I threw the snap end over the clothing bar and tied it tight. One last thing to do.

I reached up and removed my beautiful collar, at one time the symbol of the happiest time in my life. A time when I had a Master that loved me more than anything else in the world. I took a last look at it, I ran my finger over the gold plate, then read the inscription: Beau Property of Loki. How had I fucked things up so bad? Well I wasn't going to make my Master's family suffer any longer. Using my hands and mouth I put my wrists together and wrapped the collar twice around my wrists. Then using my teeth to pull the end I buckled it tight.

I said quietly, "I'm sorry Master." then I kicked the chair out from under me and it crashed into the wall at the back of the closet. Instantly the leash cut into my neck cutting off my breathing and the blood supply to my brain... Wow dying isn't as easy as I thought it would be...I'm not sure I want to... I can't even scream... My body is thrashing uncontrollably... Everything is going black...