Shattered Glass Chapter 7: Path
Path
As I continued walking to my private little resort, well what used to be private anyway, I dismissed thought about my mom and Alki. I knew my mom was either too drunk to miss me or plainly didn't care. I used to wonder how she ended up like that, so plain, unlikable, sarcastic... But that was a long time ago. As far as I am concerned she abandoned me! She left me to fend for myself! Why in the hell should I care about her when she has done nothing for me since I was a little cub, when she was with my... father.
I dismissed the subject of my father noting it wasn't relevant and focused more on to where I was going. I was about ¾ of the way there passing 3rd street when I spotted a turtle laying on its back unable to flip over on the road. How it got flipped over on a flat surface was beyond me so someone must have done it intentionally, that is of course if in the last 3 weeks the laws of physics no longer apply.
I padded over to it and knelt on one knee and look at it closely. It of course hid in its shell, which I thought looked funny since half of its body was still exposed. I sat there contemplating whether I should leave it or flip it over and put it on someone's yard. If I left it, I would be no better than my mom, but then again I wasn't this turtle's parent or caretaker. If I picked it up, it would go against my personality, which felt like it was already breaking down. I guess I would have to deal with that later on a more serious note and analyze myself after a day or two.
After about 5 minutes I decided to pick it up and put it on someone's yard. Ironically it didn't seem too happy about someone trying to save it and tried clawing at me. After 5 times of 'Hot Potato' and still not being across the street I gave up on caring it and set it back on its back and gently pushed it into someone's yard with my footpaw. Thankfully I didn't have to walk to it to flip it back over as kinetic energy did that for me.
As I started back to my walk I heard something behind me and perked my ears while still looking in front of me. It didn't speak as it got closer and I didn't walk faster. I didn't care what it was or who, plus if Push came to Shove I could protect myself. Sure I wasn't a great fighter but I had agility that most wolf husky hybrids don't, or that matter any other fur. A paw grabbed my shoulders and I spun around as quickly as I could
"Whoa easy now Hun. Don't need you to hurt yourself more then you have already. After all you have been through recently it would be a horrible idea to do so."
"I didn't hurt myself, this isn't my fault! How can you say 'hurt myself more'? Plus I'm fine and a Big Boy I think I can take care of myself" I yelled out before my mind could filter it. I saw Alki's ear fold against his head and saw him stiffen up a little. I turned around feeling an odd ping of guilt and promptly set it on the overloaded back-burner of my brain. I swear if I shoved anything else in the back of my mind it was all going to tumble down and cause me to go insane.
As I began walking to my resort I could hear Alki following me. For a good 10 minutes there was silence. I knew I had hurt him, I knew that I had just caused him to feel like the worst person on the planet, and it felt weird. I have had plenty of people tell me that I am cute, or they like me, or they want to be my friend. Every single time something like that happened my reply was "ok" with the tone of "I don't care". Most people didn't pick up on the tone part so I had these "Pseudo Friends"
"I saw what you did" he finally spoke again. As much as I wish he would have just kept quiet, I was glad he finally said something. However now I had to drift some of my attention over to him to carry on a conversation.
"What did you see? I'm sure you have seen me do a lot of things considering how good you are at following me" Damn it! Damn Damn Damn that sardonic and mocking habit I acquired all these years. Ahhh! This is going to drive me insane.
"Save that turtle. It was really sweet of you. I was starting to think you would leave it there to struggle, and that would have been sad" Good maybe he didn't pick up the tone on the last line, or ignored it. Now to reply. I've never carried on a conversation like this before. My speech wasn't the best since most of my usual talking was one or two words.
"What would have you done? I'm going to guess save it as well" I finally replied back after a 10 second delay.
"Hmm Maybe, but I'm leaning more towards no."
What??? Did he just tell me he would have left it? That doesn't make any sense; in fact that doesn't match him at all. That seem more like I was originally planning to do. "Why? You seem like the type of person that would save it" (And everything else that was in pain because you would feel sorry for it) I continued inside of my head.
"I was there when it flipped over. It fell off the storm drain. It would have learned not to go near them. Now it may not, it may have learned that someone it going to save it if it dares."
"And if it never flipped itself over?" I said in a more calm tone that I expected to come out of my mouth.
"They almost always flip themselves right side up. You got to remember that they do learn, and that it has probably been on his back quite a few times."
"So you would not be concerned at all?" He can't be serious. This is a joke.
"Nope. Such is nature" As he said that I turned around and looked at his face. It was very Formal, very Official. I couldn't help but look at him for a minute. I was a little lost trying to figure him out. I must have done something funny though because starting smiling at me with a big grin on his face.
"What's so funny" I asked slightly irritated in the fact he was eluding me and he knew it... Or was I just pretending he was?
"The way you cocked your head when you were looking at me, it was really cute. By the way how much longer are we going to stand here? People might start looking at us weird. We only got another mile or so then we can look at each other all we want."
"What People?! Ain't no one here! No one important anyways ... and what makes you think I want to look at you" Damn It Filter That Shit Brain
"It's so funny watching you struggle! I know it's not but I can tell and I know you have never bothered to filter your speech before. I promise I won't take anything offensively. Plus I know you are being honest at least so it is really an added bonus... To me anyway"
(I swear to God I'm going to kill you. Freaking dumbass Jock) "Oh and I bet you are getting a kick out of it. Anyhow I'm walkin' so come on since you're so impatient" (Dumbass cat). Well at least I'm getting better at filtering my thoughts. Hmm Maybe I can use that to my... No that would be cruel and unfair, even by my standards. I will not use that to torture him or drive him away. I actually want him near me for some reason.
For the remainder of our walk we didn't speak. I was ok with that, it gave me time to focus on while I was feeling so... off I guess is the only way I can describe it. Plus Alki entertained himself by humming songs which from what I overheard were only partial suggesting he either didn't know the whole song or god board of it. However I was glad he had a ten minute partial repository.
As we approached the "beach" he walked in front of me and turned around to face me. He looked straight into my eyes but I didn't look back. Honestly I was so zoned out I didn't notice until 10 seconds afterwards. After he got my attention he smiled that damn dorky smile and set his stuff on the old tree log. I decided I would just sit down on the sand and since I had nothing to set down I didn't have to be closer to him anymore then I had to be. However he seemed to need to be as close to me as possible.
As Alki walked up to me I turned my gaze down pretending to be interested in the sand... again. Just like last time though it didn't stop him from talking to me, or asking me to do something. I really just wanted some time alone, some time to just think and rest. For some reason though, a part of me enjoyed being bothered by him, and talking with him.
"Shall we?" He asked with an innocent grin on his muzzle.
"Shall we what?" I couldn't help but ask back. I could hear two parts of my brain fighting each other but I ignored both
"Go for a swim? Or are you not suppose to get those casts wet? Wait are you suppose to be even walking as far as you have!?"
"They didn't say, and I'll walk as far as I damn well please." After I said walk I remember the lighter cast I had on my fractured leg and pinged it for pain signals. There wasn't any, a little discomfort though. I wasn't even paying attention my body once again. How normal it is for me not to care, even for myself. Hell I didn't even know if I was limping all the way here.
"Well I suppose then if you wanted to go swimming I couldn't stop you. Also if you Didn't I couldn't make you" He replied back with a more serious grin on his face. "But whatever you decide you don't have to feel obligated to look away, I brought shorts this time. Of course I could just leave them off if..."
Before he could finish I interrupted "No you will more certainly leave them on. I don't want to see a naked panther right now." Why the hell did I say "right now"?
"Or so maybe later then" He stupidly grinned as he apparently caught the "right now" but I didn't bother to reply. "Well unless you want to see me change I would look the other way cause I'm going to do it regardless"
(Ballsy Ass Cat) I thought inside of my head. I really did want to go in with him, and I really wanted to see him nude. I wondered what he looked like, how big he was... but there would never be a time for that. I did however steal a few glances at him while he changed and got into the water. Too bad he kept his back to me. And I knew he did it on purpose