When the Rapture Comes...
Roger was sitting in his living room sucking down a Slushy on May 21st, the day that yet another extreme fundamentalist whack job had predicted the end of the world. What a joke!, thought Roger, the same whack job had predicted the end of the world in 1994! Guess he'll just keep trying until he gets it right! _ Besides, Roger mused, everyone knew that the _real end of the world was coming on December 21st, 2012. Those Mayans knew a thing or two about calendars, not to mention freelance open heart surgery.
As he slurped away on his Slushy, a knock came to Roger's door which he reluctantly trudged to answer. Perhaps on this auspicious occasion, it would be another earnest young man here to tell Roger about his personal savior. Yep, if you're gonna have a savior, it might as well be a personal one; no generalized saviors need apply here, no-sir-ee! As he opened his door, Roger's world-weary expression changed a tad when he beheld Kahless standing on the other side, the Klingon Empire's greatest warrior.
"Can I help you?," asked Roger.
"I am here to unify the people!," declared Kahless resolutely.
"How very nice for you!," replied Roger. "I'm not Klingon, however," he added. Not wishing to appear ungracious, Roger decided to invite Kahless in for a little blood wine, something Roger tried to keep on hand for such occasions. The Klingon accepted Roger's invitation, and was soon gracing Roger's couch, looking perhaps a bit uncomfortable as he watched Ancient Aliens playing on Roger's plasma tv.
As Roger went to top off Kahless' blood wine, another knock came to his door. "What fresh hell is this?," muttered Roger quietly as he again opened the door to his wretched apartment. There stood the Trix rabbit, looking like a heroine addict in withdrawal.
"Raspberry red!- -Lemon yellow!--Orange orange!," rhapsodized the rabbit redundantly. "Might you have any Trix cereal that you could share?," he asked in eager anticipation.
"Sorry, fresh out!," Roger said despondently, shaking his head in the negative. He couldn't muster the heart to tell the poor little guy that he never touched the stuff. "But if you come in, I'll see what I can scare up," offered Roger. "I may have some General Mills, if that floats your boat!" Roger had always found the Trix rabbit strangely alluring, and being a closet furry didn't just want him to run off.
Kahless had by now started singing Klingon opera, which scared the Trix rabbit no small amount, and Roger had to reassure the trembling bunny that things were under control. Perhaps Kahless couldn't handle his blood wine after all. The rabbit assumed a position as far away on the couch from Kahless as he could, and was shooting anxious glances at the Klingon as the legendary warrior sang discordantly at the top of his lungs while the theories of Erich von Daniken continued to be expounded on the tube.
Roger rolled his eyes as a third knock came to his door. "Perhaps this time it's the Rapture to put me out of my blessed misery!," he said to no one in particular. Roger opened the door to behold Josh, the werewolf character from the series Being Human. This time, Roger's surprise and pleasure were unmistakable.
"Josh!," greeted Roger, "I'm thrilled to see you! To what do I owe this pleasure?," he asked, pumping the werewolf's arm.
Josh looked askance at the strange duo sitting at a distance from one another on the couch, and looked about as if to make certain that they couldn't hear his conversation. His darting eyes then came to rest on Roger. "It's the Rapture, all right," he said in solemn tones of all seriousness. "The furry Rapture, that is...we're all going to transform. The revolution begins tonight!," Josh said with emphasis.
Roger couldn't have been more thrilled. "Hot damn!," he cried, slapping the werewolf on the shoulder. "Now that's something that I can sink my teeth into, so to speak!"
"I've always wanted to fight a Klingon warrior," intoned Josh as Roger began his werefox tranformation and eyed the Trix rabbit with lustful intent...
...and it was a great Rapture after all!