FSE

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I asked myself what I wanted to post after finishing my last series, and I think this is long overdue. Chronologically, a close friend, LittleVixen712 and I, started this series between 'The Show' and 'Eternal Corruption of the Spotless Mind'. For reasons I don't have the inner strength to go into, I never posted it. For those who really know me, all I can offer is that this series, for certain reasons, is more personal to me than 'By the Moonlight of the Buckeye Tree'. This is an incomplete series, and I honestly do not know if I will be able to ever finish it to my satisfaction.

Where I cant Follow

2005 by LittleVixen712

Edited by Eldyran

The sun rose in the eastern sky, shedding light over the many trees and paths that surrounded the area where a lone wolf traveler had made his bed. When the bright rays curled underneath Rin's eyes, it took all the wolf's effort not to bury his head into the dew touched grass underneath him. Rin hated the light. He hated the mornings. Mornings meant it was was time to get up and start another day; the start of another fight.

Rin yawned and got up, stretching out his long, lean lupine body. His pale gray fur with distinctive streaks of black and white glistened in the weak sunlight shinning through the thin strands of trees. Rin was rather attract as wolves go; his vibrant green eyes set off the silver in his coat perfectly. He stood over fix feet tall, and while he wasn't overly muscular, the wolf certainly had enough power in his lean build, needing all the stamina he could get these days.

Rin washed his muzzle in the dingy gray river that ran alongside the path through these woods. According to others, this path was arduous, long, and Rin couldn't justify letting himself sleep in when he had so much ground to cover. The traveler pushed his hind feet into a set of knee high, worn leather boots and shook out his gray tail, leaving the trail dust that had acclimated in it behind. He packed his meager things together in a matter of minutes and started down the path he had set out on so many months ago.

This was how it was for Rin, spending his countless days walking through this nameless forest, his nights spent sleeping alone in its rugged wilderness, forever following a river that would hold the answer he longed to have.

But only if he followed it far enough.

Yes, Rin followed a river. That was his sole task. If he followed it long enough, he would find the bridge to cross it, and then would find the answer. The simplicity, totality of his task cycled endlessly through the wolfs mind, without end. Sometimes Rin couldn't remember why he wanted to go on this journey in the first place. There were nights so cold, that all he wanted to do was curl up and die. But there were also days that were so hot, all he wanted to do was jump into that dull river, and forget finding that damned bridge.

As he traveled, the forest around him seemed to get even more dark and gray. The sunlight turned into a dull white, instead of the vibrant yellow he was used to. The sparse grass was pale, and the trees were now bare. There were no chirping birds here, nor chorus of insects. Rin had not even seen another fur in months, not since starting down this endless path. It was like this forest decided to die, and all the life that it supported died with it. That was how this world worked; when a life looses it's center, its soul, the rest of the life falls away, much like it had here.

In some ways, Rin felt like this forest, wishing for peace in death, but clinging to the small amount of life he had left.

He continued to walk through the depressing land, his eyes watching the river that was churned not ten feet from the path. It too, had turned a dark, dingy gray. Every now and then he saw a strip of dark green or even blue in its depths, but not as often as he would have liked. He couldn't see the other side of the river's bank, an eerie, line of thick fog hanging over half the river's width. Sometimes Rin wondered if he had missed the bridge already because of it.

Rin walked for hours before stopping to eat some wild, sour berries and some dried, tasteless jerky, obtained from his last attempts at foraging in this sickly forest. His dull green eyes watched the nearby shore, the churning water not even making the slightest sound. The only thing his sensitive ears picked up was his own breathing and chewing. The sudden snap of branch behind startled the daydreaming lupine, and he whipped around to his attacker, drawing his sword in preparation for the battle he knew would surely come.

But his assailant never leapt at him. Instead the clocked figure, shorter than the Rin, stepped even closer to the wolf.

"Back off!!!" Rin growled, baring his fangs. He brought his sword up at the ready, the silver blade catching the hint of pale sunlight. The dark figure halted for a moment, before small laughter came from underneath the dark hood. Rin was confused, frightened even. though he would never let it show. If his attacker could laugh at the sight of a blade, then he very well be a magik user.

"I'm not here to fight you." A light tenor voice spoke, the stranger reaching up with black furred paws, and pulling down his hood to reveal the bright red fur of a fox's coat. Aside from a hint of white chest fur, and small tips of black on the vulpine's ears, a bright shock of red covered the rest of his muzzle and face. The folds of the cloak almost hid the slight, slender form underneath. There was no denying it ... this Fox was attractive.

"Then why are you here then?" Rin ventured the question, his sword tip still pointed to the coy vulpine. His family had warned him of their traitorous ways, and he was not about to fall prey to one of their infamous tricks.

"I'm here to help you with your decision." the fox replied, seemingly nonchalant.

"I don't need help! Certainly not from a fox! And who said I was making a decision?" Rin demanded, "who are you?" The fox looked up at him with deep brown eyes; eyes brimming with sadness when Rin looked closer.

"You don't remember me, do you?" the foxed asked, but seemed to brush it off after a moment, not giving Rin time to respond. "My name is Adrian, and to answer your first question, no one comes to this forest unless they have a decision to make."

Rin couldn't argue with that. This fox, Adrian, was right. He did come into this land to make a choice. Anyone choosing to travel this desolate forest for any other reason simply wasn't heard of. The wolf pawed the ground with a hind foot and shrugged lightly.

"Why do I need help?" He asked softly, the wolf letting a gentle smile pull at the corners of his muzzle lips.

"Because you do not know the full impact of your decision." Adrian replied, his profound words rang like the prophecy of a seer.

"I want to die! What other impact is there?!" Rin howled out in frustration, his sword tip dripping even as he confessed his deep, hidden desire to the fox.

"Much more than you could ever begin to imagine ..." the fox replied and stepped closer, his black furred paw moving out to push Rin's blade down further to the ground. "Do you really want to leave this land Rin? Are you that lost?

Something tugged at Rin's mind, something he knew he should remember, but the more he tried, the more his head hurt. The more it hurt, the more that lights started to flash behind his eyes. He could hear Adrian yelling at him about something as he felt himself slipping to the ground. He felt faint ... but instead of the world growing darker ... his world grew brighter ... so bright it was almost blinding ...

* * * * *

Flashes of light and sound danced over Rin's vision. He knew from the start he wasn't in the forest anymore; it didn't smell like it. Instead of smelling the dying grass and murky river, he smelled ... alcohol ... and something he couldn't quite place. Whatever it was, it filled the air, and made Rin's fur bristle.

Rin lifted his paws to try and pull himself up, but something ... much stronger than him ... or at least stronger than him right now, forced him back down. Slowly he became aware of the many constraints on his body, and of the small tube like things piercing into the veins of his restrained arms. A small, clear mask lay over his face, molded to fit his muzzle. He managed to pry his heavy eye lids open once or twice, glancing about the stark white room.

The only color that met his hazed, green eyes was a small streak of red right next to him. The color seemed so vibrant, it felt like the force holding his arms down to his side. The wolf flicked his ears. If he did it right, he could almost pick out the soft , gentle voice of ... someone; the ringing in his ears made it impossible to identify the voice.

"Just ... on Rin." The wolf heard through what seemed a endless void, the soft tenor voice somehow familiar. He tried to focus on it, and felt himself slipping away for his effort. "Please - I ... don't go!"

Rin didn't understand, where the hell would he be going if he was being held down? He felt a blanket of darkness sweeping over his his vision again, but he welcomed it. It was far easier to stay there, than to piece together the flashing mosaic of color and sound.

* * * * *

Rin awoke again to the gray, dismal forest, his sharp green eyes welcoming the darker surroundings in comparison to the blinding lights he had just seen. He turned his head and looked up at Adrian.

"You're still here ..." the fox said, almost grieving.

"Why would I leave?" Rin replied, pulling himself up and knitting his eyebrows at the sight that greeted him. The fog began to dissipate from the other side of the river, and from out of its turbid depths, the bridge Rin had been searching for all this time appeared before him. He shot up instantly and started to walk toward it.

"Stop!" Adrian called out and grabbed the larger canid's arm before he could step on its crumbling stonework.

"Let .. me go," Rin said darkly, glowering down at the fox. Adrian glared right back, never letting go.

"No, you dont know what you're doing." Adrian reasoned and moved himself to stand between Rin and the bridge. "Look over at the other side Rin ... Look! Is that the answer you seek?"

Rin blinked at the fox's unwavering instance, and looked over to the other side. He let himself soak up the darkness that lay over there, the wavering, almost immaterial desolation. Looking over there made the ailing forest he now stood in look like a flowering garden of paradise by comparison. When the wolf, hesitated, Adrian took his chance.

"You want to cross Rin?" He asked, stepping closer again, this time laying a paw on the wolf's furry cheek, "You want to forget? Why? Why do you want to go where I cant follow ... ?"

Rin flinched and darted his eyes down to Adrian. Suddenly that streak of red from before wasn't so foreign. Memories of a life start to trickle back to him; a life that was not always happy ... but one that had been looking up, at least before he had set off on this journey of self destruction. He blinked down at Adrian, remembering all the times his heart had been broken and stepped on.

"I ..." he began, but never finished, for Adrian had pulled his head down placed a soul searing kiss to the wolf's lips. His chest swelled with a mixture of pain and love for the smaller canid. Adrian pulled away slowly, his dark brown eyes pleading with Rin's vibrant green ones.

"Come back to me ..." the fox whispered.

It was all Rin needed to hear. The stone bridge slowly faded away as the bank of ghostly fog reappeared, descending out of nowhere from the other side of the river. A sudden pain ripped through his chest, yanking him out of that dark world, away from Adrian; his bark of protest cut shot as the pain became too great for his mind to comprehend, and he passed out.

* * * * *

Rin gasped, his sore eyelid yanking open once again. It was almost as dark as night in his small hospital room. Sweat drenched his fur, his breathing, labored. Unsure green eyes darted around the room, frightened where he might be. After taking a moment to assure himself he was safe, the wolf calmed down and took in his surroundings. He wore one of those thin white gowns doctors always insisted their patients wear. A heart rate monitor beeped out his dangerously slow pulse, and a hanging IV bad feed him a red substance.

It took him a moment to realize it was blood.

A thin vertical line of light seeped into the dark room from the slightly cracked door leading to a semi-quiet, but bright hallway outside. The thin line of light fell on his left paw, and what surprised Rin the most was the paw that curled in his. He knew when he looked down that he would see his friend Adrian there, his arms folded over the bed rails. The red fox had fell fast asleep, exhausted from his unbroken vigil. Rin later learned that security let him stay overnight after looking into his pleading brown eyes. The wolf looked down at their intertwined paws and curled his, astonished at how weak his grip was.

In his sleep, Adrian coiled their fingers together.

Moments later a nurse came running in, altered by the change in the heart monitor, just staring at the wolf in disbelief. She started checking his vitals and asking him all manner of odd questions, like what his name was or how old he might be. When asked, she said that was checking for brain damage, but Rin could only snort at the stupidity of her questions.

The morning slowly dawned, and with it came even more nurses, and even a doctor, all wearing the same look of amazement on their faces. Adrian just stood by and let the team of experts examine his best friend, seeming to know that he'd get his chance to stare in awe at the miracle.

"You should be dead ... " was all the doctor could tell Rin. And by rights he should have been, many times over.

* * * * *

Rin walked out of the hospital that very afternoon, side by side with Adrian. The fox got the sluggish lupine into his car and then got in himself, starting the motor. He couldn't ask the questions he wanted to, for the specialists warned Adrian not to stress Rin's system with prying questions.

"I'm ... glad you survived." He said simply, and turned to look at the wolf. Rin looked back, his irises still somewhat dilated and his muzzle slack from the lingering damage to his liver and kidneys.

"I couldn't die ... you were too annoying." Rin stated simply. Adrian just laughed.

"Me? What were you dreaming about, Rin?"

"I heard you. I heard every word. 'Don't go', and 'Why do you want to die?' " the wolf elaborated. Adrian's blush could be seen through his red fur.

"I ... you weren't with it ... I didn't know that you could hear me," he reasoned. Rin gave a small laugh.

"Just remember ... you're the reason I couldn't die in peace." Rin meant it to be playful jest, but the look in Adrian's eyes told a different story.

* * * * *

Several months later Rin walked into his new apartment through the kitchen's backdoor, one he now shared with Adrian. Even though the wolf never obtained a degree from the college he had met the fox at, instead dropping out soon after his stint in the hospital, he had managed to find work bouncing in a night club. After a long night he was exhausted, wanting nothing more than to sleep.

"I'm home!" he called out, waiting for Adrian to call back to him, as was the usual exchange the two furs held.

"Hey! How was your day?" Adrian asked out from up the stairs leading to his sculptors workshop. A moment later he walked through the doorway into the kitchen, and upon seeing the wolf, a coy smile on his muzzle lips. Rin groaned and stretched, popping several stiff joints in the process.

"Long and uneventful, aside from a problem with a coyote ..." Rin replied, "but ... I'm getting better every day ..."

Adrian's ears perked at the unusual tone in the lupine's deep voice. Usually the wolf would never talk about his brush with death by attempted suicide. Tonight he just seemed ... different. Adrian cast a surprised glance up at Rin, who himself, seemed caught off guard by the mention of that fateful night as well.

"Good ... you cant ... imagine how horrible I felt for letting you become so depressed ..." Adrian muttered. He needed to get some things off his chest, and if the wolf was ready to as well, then now was the perfect time. Rin walked over to Adrian and looked him up and down, his lupine eyes never wavering.

"You were there." the wolf said, not sure to how broach the subject.

"I was where?"

"You where there that night. In my dream. You were the only thing that stood between me ... and death." Rin whispered and ducked his head. Adrian felt a small blush rise under the fur of his cheeks.

"Me?" he asked and seemed to take that in a moment, before continuing, "I ... guess I am proud of myself then." Adrian smiled lightly.

"It was then that I realized I loved ..." The wolf couldn't bring himself to say it, not yet anyway. His family's upbring had been too strict, and he was certain they would never let any such union between the fox and himself go unchallenged.

" ... I ... knew long before that ... I was so worried Rin ..." A small whine fell from Adrian's muzzle lips, "I was worried I'd lost ..." Rin brought a paw tip up to Adrian's black lips and hushed him, soon followed with a chaste kiss.

"I promise you that I'll never scare you like that again Adrian ... if ... you ..." he trailed off again, not able to complete his thoughts. Adrian smiled and raised a paw to cup Rin's furry cheek.

"I will."

* * * * *

Rin growled and bit down on Adrian's shoulder like the starving, feral lupine he was deep inside, making Adrian give out soft mewls of delight. The fox's insides clamped down on the wolf's pawtips that currently raged against his prostate, showing no attempt at mercy. Rin removed his muzzle from Adrian's shoulder and pressed a deep, aching kiss to his lover's lips.

"I want you ..." the wolf growled out, his digits stretching the smaller fox. Adrian gasped out and clung to the wolf's body.

"Now Rin ... please ... please now!" the fox moaned out, squirming under his larger, dominate lover.

Rin wasn't a wolf to deny the fox anything. In one fluid motion he removed his fingers and flipped the fox on his paws and knees. pressing the tip of his raging erection into the fox's stretched tail hole. Adrian let out a deep seated whine as Rin sunk his throbbing shaft deeper and deeper within him. The heat from the lupine's length was overwhelming.

Rin could barly stand how tight Adrian was. His green eyes screwed shut with concentration as he shifted himself inside the smaller fox. He knew he heat and pressure of the fox's depths much longer now. Adrian pulled Rin tight against him, turning his neck to give him another kiss, all the while the fox's slender form trying to push Rin's sex deeper inside him. Rin would have nothing of it, and slowly started to slide out of his lover's tight tail hole. Over the months he had learned how to tease Adrian till the fox was a puddle of whimpering pleas.

"R-rin~" Adrian whined, "D-dont you dare!" he cried and yelped out when he felt Rin's length slide back into his heated tail hole. A keen whine fell from his muzzle lips, begging for more. Rin smiled down at Adrian and started up the slow, steady rhythm, as old as time itself. Back and forth he moved, faster and harder with each stroke inside of Adrian.

"I won't ... leave ..." Rin managed to gasp out, increasing the speed of his thrusts. In no time at all he was slamming into the smaller fur again and again, practically driving Adrian into the headboard of their bed. As the passion rose between them, the only sounds either of them could make were moans, whines, and grunts from the pleasure they shared. Sweat drenched both of their coats, giving their fur a darkened shine.

Rin reached around and grabbed Adrian's knot, his primal instincts barely allowing him enough concentration to stroke and pull at the hard, vulpine length, dragging Adrian's climax out of him. Adrian yowled in passion, the night lamp flaring in front of Rin's eyes and sparking as Adrian let out a scream of his lover name, climaxing into Rin's paw and bedsheets underneath.

As utter darkness descended on the room, Rin felt entire worlds crash down around him as Adrian tail hole became impossibly tight. The large wolf gasped from the sudden tightness, seconds before grunting and coming inside Adrian, filling the vulpine with his lupine essence and heart felt love.

Both furs collapsed into an exhausted, sweat matted furpile, each panting hard and moaning out from the small flickers of pleasure that still crossed over them. Rin tried to roll off Adrian, as much as his knot would allow, only to find that the fox curled back against him, his black tipped ears laid back in utter exhaustion and complete satisfaction. Little by little they both regained what little amount of strength they had left and turned in for some nice post-coitus snuggles. Adrian curled his thick, poofy tail around their waists, nuzzling the wolf's shoulder.

"That ... was good," he purred quietly and licked Rin's neck. Rin snickered and stroked the other canid's tail.

"Mmm ... worth staying for ..." he muttered in return. Adrian pulled his head and looked down at Rin, his dark brown eyes glittering in the moonlight that crept over then now.

"Promise me?" Adrian asked, a undeniable, pleading look in his deep brown eyes. Rin succumbed, sighing heavily.

"Fine ... fine ..." Rin said as he wrapped himself around Adrian, nuzzling the fox's black tipped ear. He drew in a long breath; ready to mutter their quiet promise to his one and only love ...

" ... I'll never go where you cant follow ...

~ Fin: Prologue ~

Please don't be offended if I don't respond to comments and or suggestions about this series. They are always appreciated.