FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

This is the first part of the origins story for my alter ego Vega and is intended as the flagship story of mine, it is set at the time of the years following the Apostles Requiem disaster that is mentioned in my standalone story Pursuit of Eden and is written as a sort of journal.

Foreword

This story is written neither as an act of vanity nor as a cautionary tale. It is simply and plainly an account of a path that a persons life can take when they choose to take one fork in the road over the other.

Human beings are capable of incredible things, they merely need to see what the world could be and strive to change it. I was a human once, one of the few survivors of the Apostles Requiem disaster that claimed so many lives.

I have seen and done things that I once would have deemed impossible, I have fought those that I deemed evil and championed those that could see no way to help themselves.

I have walked the razors edge between sanity and insanity only to witness myself hurting those I care for while trapped inside my own mind.

My name is Vega and as I write this I am on the verge of turning one hundred and eight years old and this is how I came to be....

Pursuit of Purgatory

Part 1 - Phantasms

Prologue

My eyes watered as they focused on the second tiny pearl of opaque liquid that was forming on the end of the dripper above me as it quivered for a moment before falling onto the surface of my left eye.

Blinking repeatedly to force the liquid all around my eyeball I lean back in my chair and repeat the same thing for the right eye.

Rubbing my face as I stand and walk over to a little oval mirror above the washbasin in my room.

With a strained sigh I push the dripper back into the top of its little vial where more of the liquid waited to be used in the future, a tiny white label with small black writing listing the contents ingredients fills most of it but on the other side of the vial the word "Refrain" is scrawled on a piece of masking tape.

It would take a little while for the solution to start working so I begin to tidy up my room, in the back corner stands a thick oaken desk with piles of paper and other stationery dotted about its surface. Built into the far side of the desk is the bulky form of an electron microscope.

Upon the wall above it are tacked many other sheets, the rest of the room wasn't much better, the carpet was littered with yet more paper, this time screwed up rather than stacked in piles.

Stretching and taking a step in the direction of the bin I catch my reflection out the corner of my eye as I turn towards the sink and gaze at myself in the mirror above it.

"I look like a wreck" I mumble while turning on the cold tap and splashing my face a few times before picking up a towel and scrubbing hard at the dampness.

Looking deeper into the mirror I sigh as the worn looking face of a thirty something man looks back at me, long shoulder length brown hair falls uncombed and forgotten framed my face.

In an impatient gesture I shake out my hair before reaching into a chipped mug at the side of the basin for the band that I had discarded the evening before as I drag my hair backwards against my skull and fasten it into a ponytail.

Id been awake for the last thirty two hours and that much time without rest had taken a hefty toll on me, there were deep bags under my eyes and my cheeks looked sunken, thick bristles covered my lower jaw where I had forgotten to shave the day before.

The only thing that didn't look worse for wear were my eyes, id always loved the human eye, they were capable of having so many variations in colours that I couldn't help but enjoy studying other peoples when talking to them, and mine were a deep green with flecks of blue branching out from the centre.

As always when in front of a mirror my eyes flicked up to trace the edges of a light scar that was just visible under my hair line now that id tied it back.

I had allowed myself be distracted by my own disgust for far to long, it was time to make a change, the project was so close to completion that I could almost taste it.

Standing up and taking a couple of long deep breaths I pulled off my normal everyday clothes and change into the more official attire that Central Security provided its staff before walking over to my bedroom door and lifting off a pristine white laboratory coat and pulling it on over my shoulders.

Catching my breath I clench my hands as what I had been waiting for finally started, a soft tingling sensation began to build behind my eyes and my heart rate jumped sharply as I stumbled over to the large wide back chair at my desk where so often I had awoken after spending the night pouring over documents.

Letting myself fall into the chair I don't bother trying to prevent some of the cluttered papers from being blown onto the floor by my movement.

Closing my eyes tightly I try to force myself to relax while stubbornly keeping my hands on the arms of the chair to keep from rubbing at my eyes.

The first few moments were always uncomfortable as the effects of the solution travelled along the optic nerve to my brain but this time was worse than the others and it was taking far longer for my heart rate to return to settle in its steady rhythm.

The blood was pounding in my ears as my body struggled to adapt to what was happening inside it.

When I begin to fear that perhaps id used too much this time my heart rate started to slow, the tingling tapered off and I let out a long sigh as my body went slack and the familiar and welcome sense of the coming unconsciousness started to claim me as I focused upon the memories of a day that was long past.

___________________________________________________________________

"Where was I?"....that was always the question that people asked themselves when reliving a past memory, there was always that first moment when the mind was unable to figure out why it had shifted form one place to another so suddenly.

But that sensation of displacement never last long as even now I feel myself drawn fully into the event that had happened to me all those years ago as if I were really there.

School had finished early for the summer holidays and I was looking forward to spending time at home with my mom, she had promised that we could go to Alton Towers for my eleventh birthday that was in a few days so I was really excited.

As the thoughts of rushing about and spending the whole day riding the rollercoaster's and playing till I couldn't stand anymore filled my mind I didn't notice until it was too late that the air was getting cooler and the sun was being blocked out by heavy clouds..

A wall of sound and wind assaulted my body forcing me to the ground as I cry out in terror and wonder as I cover my ears while all about me the grass and trees shook and began to turn black and crumble Looking back i peer through the dust and debris that had been dragged up into the air as it was pulled in toward a point above the commercial area of the city .

A bright light was emerging from that point, rings of colour spun about it changing and merging and twisted into hundreds of different shapes, yells and frightened screams filled the air about me, people were running away, their cars forgotten and abandoned in the streets as their panic and instinct took control of them.

I could understand their fear for I almost became part of the frenzied crowds moving past me but I couldn't leave this spot, she had told me to stay here and wait for her to come pick me up.

Gazing about and wishing that she would come soon I was startled as everything went suddenly quiet and still.

I worried that I had gone deaf from the roaring of the wind.

Everyone had stopped running and the wind had fallen off, there were bits of pale grey stuff drifting down from the sky and making me cough with each breath I took.

It started to matt my hair and sting my eyes, As a layer fo the stuff settles upon my clothes I brush it off before seeing that my palms had been covered in grey smudges.

For a long moment I wondered if this strange storm was making it snow, for that was what it looked like to me.

I notice someone was nearby...an older man who, like me has refused to give into our instincts, his brown hair was turning rapidly greyby the stuff as he scooped up a little of what had settled on the ground in an inch thick carpet.

He let it tumble through his fingers before lifting them to his face and sniffing softly and coughing, he turned to look at me and uttered the word "ash?".

Our eyes had met for a moment before the wind and noise returned and he was lost from my sight by the clouds of the stuff, I never saw him again.

The wind was roaring far greater than it had been, so much so that my head began to hurt and every sound became dulled, a loud deep ringing was filling my ears.

Shaking my head to try to clear the ringing I looked back up towards the light that had continued to shine above the city, it seemed like it was only a couple miles away but my instincts told me that it far further than that.

My teacher had once said that really big things like mountains often seemed to be closer than they were because of their size.

I pulled my eyes away from the light to look at the sky and saw through the dark clouds above it a ring of pure and calm blue sky directly over it.

It was that calm contrast in colour that allowed me to appreciate the odd beauty of what was in front of me.

The light was pulsing, brilliant ribbons of colour spread out from the surface, greens and red, blues, soft pinks and violets, so many colours that it made my eyes hurt as he centre of the light began to swell.

I was reminded of when a balloon was inflated, when the rubber of it would become more and more transparent as the happy bright coloured rubber was spread out as the material thinned.

That thought seemed more accurate for in the next second the orb of light burst.

The ground shook beneath my feet as lengths of sickly purple lightning speared from it and impacted the earth a few miles from where I was standing, a column of shimmering superheated air rose up from the hit and spread out around it.

Thick smoke drifted upwards and outwards from buildings that had been in the way of the lightning before it reached the earth, they didn't last long under the onslaught and collapsed in a few moments, there structures melted into slag along with everything inside.

I didn't have time to think about how many lives had been snuffed out in an instant as i looked back at the light and saw the world bathed in the glow coming from its core.

I felt my legs become warm as urine trickled down my legs, I should have felt ashamed for losing control like that but I didn't care because the orb was pulsing once again but stronger and swelling faster than it had before.

I flinched as more lightning arced its way overhead and I turned to see it strike the ground and incinerate whatever was in its way before it dug a deep furrow into the topsoil

Everything before it was destroyed, even the minerals in the dirt, brick and tarmac around it glowed white hot before cooling to a shiny glass like layer around the furrow, exposed gas lines exploded before being sealed as the melted metal cooled over the breaks.

Thick clouds of steam rose up from sewer and water lines as the water was flash boiled in an instant.

As with the first strike, a column of heat spread out from the area and I patted at my hair as a disgusting acrid scent assaulted my nose while my hair began to curl and smoulder a little as the heat washed over me.

Another strike, this time further away, and again, near the first, everywhere more and more lightning fell and more parts of the city vanished, the earth felt like it was in pain as the ground rose and shook under me.

Looking back to the sky I gasped as another change began to overtake the orb, within the core I could see something taking shape, a long and sleep object was pushing out from inside the light, its tip shone as it seemed to absorb the light from the orb.

The pulsing stopped and the lightning was drawn back towards the object before it hit the surface and seemed to dissipate along it length.

I had little idea what was going on but when I saw that I was deeply glad that the thing had appeared because it looked like it was wresting control of the energy being released and taking it into itself.

My hope that this might be over was sadly misplaced.

The thing that ahd emerged didn't seem able to control all that energy it shook and writhe in the air, its surface was twisting and tearing, I could see cracks forming along it before it began to bubble as part of the front section caved in and exploded outwards.

The ship, for that was what it must have been was thrown out of the lights core and started to fall, great trails of smoke and pieces of fractured hull streamed out from its descent as it hurtled towards the ground.

For just a moment I thought that I has seen something fly out from behind the ship and enter the centre fo the light but I couldn't tell what it was as my gaze shifted to the crippled vessel.

I was sure that after the damage it had already taken that it would never be able to survive the impact with the ground, but I could see that its nose had started to level out.

I knew that even if whoever was onboard was able to make a viable landing that the force of the impact would likely kill anyone left alive on board.

The thought, as it turned out was moot because just before the ships underbelly would have skimmed the surface of the planet the orb of light turned dazzling white as another change rippled across its surface causing it to expand rapidly.

It grew to twice its size them doubled again before in a flash it collapsed in on itself with a mighty crack of thunder.

As it happened I felt like time had slowed around me, I could see the buildings around me slowly crumbling and even the shockwave that radiated out from the orbs collapse seemed to hang above the earth before it hit the crippled ship throwing it through the air like a piece of flotsam.

Its left edge met the ground first, it survived the impact for barely a second before it crumpled and was crushed under the weight above it as the rest of the ships belly bore down and slammed hard into the earth.

I didn't get to see it come to a stop as the shockwave passed over the ship and hit me throwing me back through the air like just another piece of debris.

My body tumbled through the air like a rag doll as I slipped into unconsciousness.

That day was when my childhood ended.

_______________________________________________________________

When I came too i didn't know how long I'd been lying there, but I knew that what happened was devastating; I should not be alive.

I was lying beneath a broken wall where I must have been thrown by the force that had sprung out from the light.

Closing my eyes tightly I could see the after image of the lighting as red blobs of light drifting across the surface of my eyeballs.

I opened my eyes but quickly closed them again as they stung and watered.

After a few seconds I slowly opened them again, little by little this time so that they would get used to the sun, the sun! It was there again, no longer covered by the ash in the air that had hung in the sky during the storm.

But it was still dulled, vast shadows crept across the ground as smoke rose from burning buildings obscuring it from time to time, but at least it was still there, the world hadn't ended, something that I thought was a sure possibility.

The wall behind me and rubble which had piled up about had partially shielded me from the worst of what has happened but I was far from unscathed.

I couldn't breathe, my chest hurt horribly and every time I took air into my lungs it felt like it was burning me, my tongue and throat felt raw as my body struggled to get enough oxygen into its bloodstream to keep me conscious.

I could taste something metallic and spat out some blood that had run into my mouth.

It was trickling slowly from above my hairline, I knew that it couldn't be too bad otherwise more blood would have been flowing from it but all the same I shifted my weight onto my right arm so that I could roll onto my side

I had to know the extent of the damage I had suffered.

I tried to lift my left hand up to my head to inspect the wound that the blood was coming from but it refused to move, closing my eyes a moment to calm myself I turned my head to peer at my left arm and sighed in relief.

There didn't appear to be any damage to it that I could see.

I grasp a piece of the broken wall with my right hand to pull myself into a sitting position and felt my other arm flop against my side, leaning back I yelled as pain lanced across my back, but my mind was diverted from that when the fingers of my damaged appendage curled in on themselves before going slack again.

Although the arm itself looked fine something was obviously very wrong.

There was a piece of sharp twisted metal near my foot so I shuffled round and gripped it tightly before pushing it into the flesh of my unmoving arm.

The tip pieced the skin at the crook of my elbow easily and lightly before I pulled it back to watch a small bead of blood well up and run down to the fingers.

It proved what I had already accepted, the arm was still getting blood but I felt nothing what so ever from the injury that I had made, the nerves must had taken damage but they were not severed, the curling of my finger a minute before proved that..

Steeling myself I curled my other arm up and over my left shoulder and ran it along my back because I knew that if there was anyplace where my nerves would be damaged that would be it.

My suspicion was justified as I bit my lower lip in pain.

My finger tips had brushed something jagged sticking out from my left shoulder blade, sighing in resignation I knew that it was a fair bet that this was what had caused the damage to my arm.

Resting my head against the wall behind me I closed my eyes and refused to think about anything more till I was ready to handle it.

Something told me that I should have been terrified but I found myself not really caring overly much, with all that had happened id take it as a blessing that I was still alive.

For the next little while my whole world became that little alcove where I was sitting as I waited for my breathing to become less strained, for my body to get sued to the thin air around me.

When I felt ready to move again I start to look over the rest of my body

My upper body seemed relatively unscathed and although I was still bleeding from a dozen small places I knew I couldn't stay here much longer so I start to drag myself over the rubble back in the direction where I thought I'd been when this had started.

My legs seemed to be something else that had suffered, the right one was defiantly strained but the left one was in a far worse state.

A piece of metal similar to that lodged in my back was buried under the skin, I didn't dare try to remove it as the wound had already sealed itself with dried blood about the metal and I didn't want to risk making it bleed anymore.

When ready to test them out to see if they would support me I nearly fell but managed to catch myself by grabbing a metal pipe, when I got my footing back I gave the pipe a yank and pulled it free from the broken bricks at my feet.

The end was bent but that was perfect for what I wanted as I slipped it in under my armpit to steady my weakened legs.

I continued forwards for a couple more minutes dodging damaged benches and warped heaps of burning metal that i thought may have once been cars and forced myself to look away as every so often my gaze would settle upon the twisted broken form of some poor soul that had not been as lucky as I.

Id moved only about fifty feet around piles of rubble and roaring fires when i find the blackened trunk of a tree effectively blocking my path ahead.

I couldn't see over it nor did there seem to be any way around it, I didn't want to go back and search for another route so I ram the end of the pipe between two branches that had grown close together and used it and my less damaged leg to drag myself up onto the top of the trunk.

A part of me wished that I had just stayed at the wall and waited for someone to find me because what I saw destroyed my hope that anyone was alive in the direction I was traveling.

Only a small part of the city even still seemed to be standing but those buildings were far in the distance towards the outshirt.

And not all of them were unscathed some which had once rose up towards the sky were on fire, I could see the towers of smoke rising from one and even as I watched it gave up the fight and fell.

Others seemed to be relatively intact and I hoped that whoever might be in them would send help soon.

Though I wouldn't blame them for believing that such an act would be worthless, when I had woken up I had hoped just a little that because such a small boy like me had survived that others would have as well but on seeing what was before me I soon realized that my survival had been the exception.

Everywhere within what looked like a five mile radius of the orb had been virtually levelled, houses and factories simply didn't exist anymore; even the foundations seemed to have been ripped form the earth.

I bought my fingers to my face and felt dampness there, I had finally started to cry, and the silent tears carved lines through the dirt on my skin where they washed it away.

I cried because as usual on school days I had waited on the grass of the church near Victoria square after class to meet my mother so that we could go home together, after seeing the devastation I knew I would not see her again.

Rubbing my eyes with my grimy sleeve I slapped my cheek hard to clear my head.

I could not give in to despiar, survival was all that mattered now. I couldn't stay on this tree much longer, it was too exposed and wouldn't provide much cover if the that light in the sky reappeared.

But that light had never gone as almost on instinct I look upwards to a point far above me and felt my knee weaken as I saw something hanging high in the sky.

Without the flowing colours that had made it impossible to see its centre before, now the light was so much dimmer as I saw it in the sky.

Almost as if someone had poked a pin into air and made a hole, it hung there while every few seconds it would fade out a little before releasing a small burst of light and returning to its smaller state.

This thing that had destroyed my home was still there.

Tearing my eyes away I force myself to ignore it as I turn my mind to other more important problems, namely how to get down from this tree and continue on to find help.

The trunk wasn't lying flat against the ground; its ripped roots were overhanging the edge of a vast furrow in the earth where one of the energy bolts had probably struck .

I couldn't see over the lip of the furrow but it was right across the path that I needed to take in order to reach the more intact areas of the city so I had no choice but to find a way down and hope that I could find some way to climb up the other side.

First thing was first though, I had to get off this tree without hurting myself further, so with my improvised crutch braced under my arm and balancing my weight upon it.

I start to scramble my way along to the lower end where the root system was on the edge of the furrow.

Looking along the roots I noticed that the tree had only been partially uprooted, most of its thick roots were sticking out in the air but some were still in the soil, "my first bit of luck today" I mumble, it would mean that I wouldn't have to drop when I got to the end of the roots, I'd be able to just climb right down to the ground.

Shaking out my hands to loosen my muscles I lean over a little and carefully allow the pipe to fall to the ground where I could retrieve it later, it would only be a hindrance while climbing down anyway.

Taking a firm hold of the thickest root with my good hand and slithering my way down till my legs touched a tangle of wood below me I slowly let my grip loosen so that I could test my weight on my foothold before sliding down and repeating the movements again.

By the forth time that I did this I knew that I couldn't take too much more of this

With one arm useless and one leg all but screaming for me to stop abusing it I allow myself to slide the last few feet to the soft soil before I drop onto my rear to rest .

Sighing in relief and massaging my legs for a few minutes I looked back up where id started the climb and saw that it had only been a dozen or so feet but the exhaustion had made it feel like far further.

My face suddenly broke into a grin at overcoming this small but important hurdle and with renewed spirit I shuffle over to my pipe and grasped it tightly and pulled.

It didn't move, I try again but the bent end seemed to be struck on something, so in annoyance I pull again but still noting so with much grunting I crawled to the lip of the furrow and found the end had lodged itself in a crevice between some rocks.

Kneeling above it I closed my hand around the length and gave a sharp yank.

Thinking it would be hard to get out because it had refused to move before I used too much strength and when it came free I tumbled back and slipped too close to the edge of the furrow and my legs slipped over the abyss and unable to stop, my torso also slithered after it.

With the pipe still grasped in one hand and fearing going into a free fall I lift it over my head and ram it into the soil to stop me from falling but I might as well have grabbed hold of wet tissue.

The soil was too soft and I found myself yelling as the pipe dragged easily through the loose dirt before I slide completely over the edge.

My feet stuck the ground at an angle and my injured leg crumpled uselessly before the rest of me hit as well as i start to slide and roll down the incline.

Pieces of rock and other stuff started to tumble around me as my body disturbed them from where they rested

I blacked out for a second when I felt my head catch a glancing blow from something blunt that was protruding from the slope on the way down.

Something else caught on my maimed leg and I felt searing fire rip though me as the piece of metal that had been impaled in my flesh was wrenched free taking with it a small portion of skin and meat.

When I finally came to a stop I could barely breathe, moving was difficult.

I could barely hold myself back from screaming as the wound that was left behind by the piece of metal hurt horribly, but that pain was enough to keep my awake as I draw on the failing reserves of my willpower and roll onto my side so that I could grasp a handful of my trouser leg before ripping a large chunk of the material away.

My leg felt like it was being ripped apart as every movement made the muscles along it ripple and send bursts of pain though me.

Tearing the grimed cotton of the trouser leg into strips and gritting my teeth to keep from crying out I press a wad of the stuff over the wound, and bound it there as tight as I could stand with the rest of the strips.

The effort cost me as felt my sight start to dim from the pain as I breathe long and hard while trying to ignore it and gain some control over my body

After several minutes pass im finally able to move again as I lift my hand to my forehead and winced as I felt for the damage that had been done to it when I fell, the cut that had been near my hair line before felt like it had been torn open even wider than it had been.

Probing a little more I shivered as a tiny portion of the hair came loose in my fingers and I start to dry heave as I saw thin strands of bloody skin dangling from the end of it.

Grabbing what was left of the tattered rags that were my trouser leg I once again made a wad of some of it and bound it in place with the rest about my head in order to staunch the flow of blood.

It was frankly a wonder that I had any blood left in me as I felt s park of anger flare up inside me

I was suddenly furious at myself for not being more careful, of course the whole area would be unstable, it had been reckless and foolish to get so close to the edge, and now I was paying the price. _____________________________________________________________________

Gingerly I straiten out my worn and tired limbs, they felt heavy than they had before, tiredness and blood loss was beginning to eat away at my strength, but I knew that help wouldn't get to me in time....I had to get to it.

If I stayed here it would be a death sentence and there had been more than enough lives lost today.

It was time to be moving

Picking myself up out of the dirt and looking about I was surprised to see that although I had slid along way down the cliff I was not at the bottom of the furrow yet but instead had come to rest on an outcropping of sort that was a few dozen or so metres above the bottom.

Gripping the pipe that had fallen nearby I began hobbling towards the edge, and sighed as I saw that the sides of the outcropping dropped to the bottom of the furrow in a gentle arch, one that I could easily climb down as long as I was careful.

Learning from my earlier mistake and not wanting to suffer the same fate again I stood still and began pushing the pipe end into the soil in front of me to see if it was stable enough to carry my weight.

But when I pushed down on it I found that the pipe only slipped a little ways into the soil before it stopped abruptly.

I may have just hit a rock I mumbled to myself as I pull the pipe out and tested another area a few feet away only to find that once again the pipe only went in the same distance before it stopped.

Lifting the pipe above my head I slammed the tip down and grunted as the shock from the impact sent a wave of pain up my arm and across my back.

Dropping to my knees I began to scoop away at the loose soil till i got down to the rock but stopped as my fingers uncovered an odd shape below them, it looked similar to the shape of diamond in a deck of cards except it was the size of my hand and parts of it were white and some black.

Dragging my hands furiously though the soil I uncover more of the surface.

I couldn't remember there being any buildings with that kind of decoration but there had been a lot of new development to the city in the last couple of years.

And the shapes were arranged oddly, one end was of them was always overlapped by two others all pointing in one direction almost like they were scales on some massive beast.

Tracing the fingertips of my good hand across the edge of the scales I dew back as i felt them tingle from the contact, the scales were warm to the touch and that warmth travelled up my arm from where I touch it.

A few seconds later the tingling went away only to be replaced by that same heaviness in my body that had been building for the last couple hours.

There was no way that I could allow myself to go to sleep, hadn't I heard somewhere that if your hurt you shouldn't sleep but maybe I should at least rest for a little while, I did feel so very tired.

Sitting up with my hands in my lap I let my head gently fall forward to rest against my chest, my eye lids closed so that they could block out the depressing light and breathing out slowly I take a few steady deep breaths.

Id never been so tired before. Not having the energy or the will to open my eyes again I let a soft slumber claim me.

As I came close to loosing consciousness I felt something brush against my thoughts making me jerk lightly.

"No, you mustn't sleep" a low voice whispered, the words pushed into under the gap in my tired mind but I did not want to listen.

"open your eyes!" Another whisper as if whoever was speaking was far away.

"please open your eyes, you must not sleep" another annoying whisper but now it shook slightly with a sense of urgency and fear.

My tongue slips out between my lips, briefly moistening them before I whisper back "but, of course im not going to sleep, im just resting for a moment.".

"get up! You mustn't sleep!" This voice was still soft but it was becoming more insistent this time and my head starts to hurt, but this time I can detect a female tone to it.

"damit all, I already said im not going to sleep, now go away" gritting my teeth I try to ignore the voice this time but my slumber is already ruined, and I start to think about what id do to the owner of that voice if I met them.

"That's good, anger is better, so stop imaging such things and come find me" a hint of smugness this time but I didn't care all I could say was "how can you know what im imaging"

"you will have to come to me to find out.....now! open your eyes and get up" I didn't know who she was but she was a blasted pain, just like every other girl id met, they never knew when to shut up either.

"fine! im a pain, now get the hell up"

Lifting my head to look about I expected to see the owner of the voice only to find that im still all alone.

"where are you?" I ask as I continue to search for her.

"im close by but you will have to come to me" she replies.

Digging my feet into the dirt I start to push up but fall forwards as my balance gives out.

"I cannot do it, im just too tired" I say as I take deep breaths.

"yes you can, I know your hurt and so very weary but you must do this, you will is too strong to fail here and when you find me you can rest, I promise, but not before"

Huffing into the soil I once again dig my feet under me and stand up only to find myself sway back and forth dangerously before my legs become steady enough to hold me upright.

"forget about resting, ....i don't know how you can be talking to me when there is no one nearby or if I've actually gone crazy but when I do find you im going to tape your mouth shut" I say with a sarcastic grin on my face,

"Now, since it seems I won't get any peace till we meet and you haven't volunteered your name where do you want me to go my lady puppet master"

" Very well my little toy since your going to act like a child, I'll treat you like a one, Now you need to walk strait forwards and climb down the side of the hill that your on but I wont be able to talk anymore till you get to the bottom, so start moving"

"you really mean it? You'll really be quiet?" I say with a great sigh of relief but I get no reply as I take a few wavering steps towards the upper curve of the bank.

Looking all along the edge of the bank for an easier way down I quickly decide to try my luck where I had originally looked down over the edge sicne the surface of this thing seemed to be completely uniform.

One end stopped in a sharp drop and the other was buried deep in the cliff that I had fallen down before, but not only was there no apparent handholds but the sides of it were a lot steeper than I had thought.

If I lost my grip at any time it would be a case of just having to slide my way down it and hope that the speed didn't shatter my bones when I hit the bottom.

Not seeing any other choice I move to the point where im unable to stand any longer and lay down flat on my belly and inch my way slowly backwards.

Almost as soon as I started to move down the steep slope I had to stop as the disturbed soil gave way and began sliding past me only to reveal a wide stretch of those large white and black scales.

Not knowing what else to do I press the soles of my rubber shoe into the gap where the scales overlapped below me and use them as toeholds

My left arm was practically useless as it dangled at my side but as it rubbed against the scales I could see black smudges lifting from the scales to reveal white beneath it almost like a thick layer of soot covered it.

In that moment, as the realization dawned on me I saw in my memories that terrifying but cruelly beautiful light pulsing in the sky and falling from it the glistening white hull of a ship as thick streams of smoke sped out behind it from a section that had bubbled and blown outwards.

It would have struck the ground far behind me and dug a deep long groove in the earth before it came to a halt, parts of it would likely have been buried in the ground.

The idea that I may be climbing down the hull of that ship was all it took for me to lose my concentration.

Before I could dig my finger tips back into the gap in the scales I was sliding, slowly at first, but as I struggled to press the tips of my shoes into the scales I gained speed which made it more difficult to stop my decent.

As my speed increased and the scales streamed past my eyes I close them tightly and waited for the horrible moment's pain that I would feel before my body would burst open as I hit the ground.

The speed I was moving at right now wasn't a freefall but it didn't really matter because there was no way for me to save myself, that was when a sharp pain speared though my right leg as my shoe caught something as I slid, as if in slow motion I saw the thing that id hit travel past my eyes and winced as it grazed my cheek.

A thin ridge of scales had appeared in the otherwise smooth surface and on instinct I made a grasp at it with my good hand but the scaly lump only stood out about half a centimetre from the rest, but as my hand slipped over it another hit my feet and shot past my face and I leaned my body against the hull.

Curling my fingers again, I felt my grip slide over it again but before I could think my feet hit more ridges and each time I felt my body lurch.

And gradually as more of these odd ridges appeared I felt myself slow just a fraction.

As my speed decreased little by little I felt my fingers grip a ridge more firmly before slipping onto the next one, instead of being half a centimetre high like the first they were steadily getting wider as my speed slowed.

My legs jarred on each ridge and pain made me cry out but i gritted my teeth and pressed my front as close to the hull as I could.

When I felt like I could not take it anymore I tried harder, my fingers and the knee of my one remaining trouser leg were being worn away by the friction of the slide and red smears began to be left behind on the surface of the ship as my skin was worn away.

I didn't dare turn my head to see how much farther I had left to go in fear that the motion would make me lose my tenuous contact with the hull.

My finger tips stung as they were rubbed raw by my decent, but when I felt as if soon the very bones of my fingers would be revealed I let out a gasp of pain as my speed slows enough for me to ram the tips of my shoes into the surface of one of the ridges.

All of a sudden I feel my downwards motion stop and I cry out as it causes me to start to tumble backwards away from the ships hull.

This was it, this was the end I thought as I fell through the air for what seemed like long minutes until with an agonizing thump I feel my entire body hit the ground.

"I must be dead" I mumble to myself..."but if I were then why do I still hurt so much"

Ok so I wasn't dead...but there was no way I could have survived that fall...id fallen for only a few seconds but a person could fall a long way in that time so why was I still alive.

Grunting softly I lay still I start to tense and un-tense my limbs to see if any were further damaged and miraculously find that aside from aching from the fall everything seemed to be the same.

It was when I began to ball my hands into fist to test them that I feel something squelch unpleasantly between my finger and gingerly sitting up I look at my hand to find them covered in some sort of viscous liquid.

In fact. now that I knew I was still alive I could feel my clothes becoming damp as well and looking around I find that the same viscous liquid that was covering my hand was also soaked into the ground around me.

So that was how I was still alive...whatever this stuff was it had softened the ground enough so that the fall had not killed me but where was it coming from I wonder as I look upwards to where I had fallen from and felt my mouth drop open.

"How can that be?" I say out loud as I look along the hull of the ship only too see that large rents crisscross its surface. That is understandable since it must have taken damage from the impact...what left me unable to think for a moment was that from each of these rent a thick liquid was oozing downwards from it to pool upon the ground before sinking into the soil.

As the realization hits me I feel bile rise in my throat as I scramble to my feet and start to wipe the gooey stuff form my hand and arms only to find that my entire body is caked in the stuff.

Feeling a little sick, in my distress I almost miss the tenuous brush of thought against my mind until with a groan and feeling as if id been slapped in the face I hear the same female voice that id hear before inside my mind.

"its alright!...William!...take a breath and try to relax" I could tell that whoever it was that was talking to me wanted to sooth me but I was in no way able to calm myself as I shout back

"relax! how the hell can I relax....the ship...oh god this ship, its alive, its alive and its bleeding, ive covered in its blood"

Feeling suddenly nauseous I pitch forwards and heave the last dregs of the contents of my belly onto the ground before stumble backwards as I feel myself becoming dizzy and my sight begins to dim.

"what....what's happening to me....my eyes...something is wrong with my eyes" I say as I feel my vision becoming more and more blurred.

Unable to keep the panic out of my voice I feel that same touch upon my mind and with what willpower I have I grab a hold of it, I didn't want to be alone.

"please, please don't leave me" I say

"its alright, I wont leave you, im going to help you but you have to trust me....there isn't enough time to explain"

With my eyesight failing and my head begins to pound but I give a weak nod as she start to talk again.

"you have to ignore what's around you and walk forwards, I know its hard but you have to do this"

With shaking steps I allow myself to be guided just as she asked forwards and with each step I feel my feet sinking into the soaked muddy ground as it oozes into my shoes and feel my body shiver as I walk within a foot of the hull of the ship.

I could hardly see anymore...just vague outline of thing as I say "what now?"

"now just wait. don't move" she replies as for the first time I sense something other than her voice along the link, something that makes my head hurt even more

Pain..I could feel pain coming from this other person even as I start to hear a new noise as with my failing sight I start to see the wall ahead of me start to ripple and writhe and the bleeding wounds in its surface merge back into a perfect surface.

Was it healing....looking upward I fee that the rest of wounds as still the same but on this one spot the hull looked fresh and new, for three metres in every direct to hull had repaired itself.

With a little moan of pain from across the link I feel as if this other person was in just as much pain as I was as she simply says the words "touch it"

Already having decided to trust her I tentatively reach out my hand and lay my palm against the warm hull and feel the surface instantly respond to my touch as it begins to part before me.

Within moments I find myself standing before I gaping dark opening into the ship and without any hesitation i begin to stumble forwards inside this living ship.

Hardly able to stand let alone see I let my hands lead me along one wall as I make my way deeper into the interior of this vessel as I sense the entrance that I had used closing up behind me as the heavy thick air of the ship envelops me.

Every so often as I stumble along I could feel my hands pass over something wet upon the walls and had to fight to ignore the knowledge that I was trailing my fingers over the wounds of this ship while at the same time I could feel chucks of something hard like metal shifting around beneath my feet as I moved.

With my body feeling to heavy to move and my eye hardly being able to make out vague shapes I feel my breathing become a little easier as the tunnel opens out into what I can only guess is an intersection that seems to be less damaged.

With a path leading to the right and another to the left I felt the small rays of hope that had blossomed inside me start to fade as I simple ease myself down the wall that I was using to support myself and onto the floor where I lean my back against the cool metal.

"Hmmm..metal"...so this ship has an organic structure with metal fused to it....was that what I could feel on the floor in the damaged section, had I been walking on the wall sections that had been sheered off by the impact.

I didn't really know why that little bit of knowledge matter right now, my body fel too heavy to move and I could hardly keep myself awake, just the promise of that girls voice in my mind kept me from panicking.

"Railya!!"

"Railya, have you gone daft, why did you send me down here all of the crew that are still alive are accounted for?"

I had felt myself on the verge of passing out when that soft but frustrated sounding and female voice echoes along the hallways. I try to cry out but cannot make a sound with my weakened voice, I have to do something to get their attention so I start to drag myself along the ground, damit..I was so weak, id never be able to move fast enough.

"Railya..I don't have time to argue about this, I want you to deactivate life support in the lower sections once im out and use the energy to deploy your tendrils into the ground outside, it not exactly a perfect solution but maybe there are enough nutrients in the soil to heal some of your injuries"

"Also I want you to run a diagnostic on your secondary systems, we owe Viaral a lot for protecting your higher functions but we need to get you back into orbit if we can, im going to the engineering deck, contact me when the absorption tendrils are deployed"

Wait...oh gods -please wait I wanted to shout but my mouth would hardly move.

I could see a silhouette cast by the faint light in the distance but I could tell it was already moving away.

When this womans figure lifts her hand up to her cheek and starts to talk again into what must be a comms device of some kind.

"Jorgal, have you found anyone in your are yet"

"nothing yet sir, but im still searching" a male voice replies

In desperation I reach out towards the figure but feel my hand graze painfully against something and closing my grip about it I feel the rough and twisted edges of a piece of yet another chuck of debris and with my arm trembling to take the weight I lift it upwards as far as I can and let it go

"never mind, im calling the search off, with all this damage we could be down here for days chasing sensor ghosts and I want us to start sending teams out into the damaged city around us....find however many volunteers that you can and equip them with trauma kits, ive already got Railya to access this worlds communications system and load its languages into our own , I want to save as many as we........what was that?"

"Sir"? the mail says.

"I thought I heard something...its probably nothing but ill have a quick look"

As I see the hazy silhouette change shape as she moves I lift the piece of debris again and let it drop to the floor where it makes a solid cracking noise.

"Who's there, this is Commander Rjeargar,"

She was getting closer now, but it was so dark that she cannot see me clearly so I guess she must think that im part of the crew.

It was as I was about to try and wave at her when a bright light appears in this woman hand and bathed me in its glow.

I hear a loud exclamation before the figure kneels down over me and something warm and furry is pushed beneath my neck and back as im turned onto my back and once again I feel my head resting on something warm, soft and furry even as something cold is pressed against my neck and a low hissing sound fills my ears as something passes into my body from that cold point.

Instantly I feel the pain in my body lessen.

"Its alright, your gonna be alright, ill look after you"

"Railya. You have some explaining to do" she says out loud and I wonder who she is talking to

"I don't care about all that, You can tell me why you bought him here later first tell me his name"

Everything was happening so fast, what she was saying made little sense, it was if I was hearing only one side of a conversation

"Will" "William"

At the same moment I heard my name come from two voices and tow sources. One I heard with my ears from the soft reassuring and worried voice of the woman and the other I heard inside my mind from the annoying girl that had lured me here.

"Its alright, you can trust her, she is my friend, she will take care of you and bring you to me, ive told her what's wrong, soon you can sleep.......and I am not annoying"

Letting a little smile play across my face I say "yes you are"

"excuse me" the woman says as she lift me into her arms and stands up before walking quickly through the hallways.

"Sorry, that wasn't meant for you...its her...she wont shut up" I mumble tiredly

With myself being carried almost effortlessly in this womans arms and being so much closer to her face I am just able to make out that she isn't human, ...well of course not but her face reminded me more of an animal that id seen in the books about endangered and extinct species on earth, she looked a little like a wolf.

I thought that my weakness and poor sight were playing tricks on me until her muzzle moved and she started to talk in an amused tone "yeah...she has that problem, she doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut sometimes...but id be lost without......."

Without warning I felt my battered shoulder burn as this wolfess persons tops suddenly rubbed against the wound making my body jar in her arms as she frowns down at me before smiling softly as she starts to walk again before talking.

"You can hear our Railya?.... that's a rare gift, I can see why she likes you, she doesn't make friends easily since so few are "tel-empaths"

Unable to make sense of that word and feeling a little stronger from whatever this person had injected me with I mumble jokingly "Believe me, I wish I couldn't hear her, Ive hardly had a moments peace"

A soft and lovely laughs fills the corridor and in surprise I look at this wolf woman and realise that it was coming from her, i was expecting her laugh to sound more bestial but its soft, delicate and affectionate nature fills me with warmth.

"where are you taking me" I say

Looking down at me she says in a slightly worried tone "to Railya's interface room, Railya told me that you have had direct contact with her hull so you body is being damaged by radiation from the leylines that she normally soaks up and counteracts"

"That's why your eyesight is fading and you got suddenly weak so soon after finding her, its slowly damaging your body but fear not, her interface room is able to heal those that merge with her, that probably why she has gone so quite now...you may not be able to feel it from her so soon after linking minds but she is burning with embarrassment right now"

"you see the interface room is a very...um.. private place for a ship like her"

Realizing finally who and what Railya was I blurt out across the link "you're the ship" before I feel a sharp pain blossoming across my face as everything around me, the walls the ceiling, my body and the wolfess's face begins to waver and fade into nothingness.

Feeling groggy and ill I let out a pained growl as I open my eyes to see the familiar frowning and angry face of a twenty year old young man

"oh hell" I mumble as I look up at the fuming face of Marcus my assistant and protégé as he raises his fist back for a punch before he says,

"Oh hell is right!" .

End of part one