FSE

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formerly SoFurry search engine

I'm a little ashamed of myself for writing clopfic when there's so much legitimately good MLP fanfic out there (see: Paradise or Fallout: Equestria), but I've tried to keep this playful and clever, if not exactly clean. This is the first half -- more to come.

contains:

• Rainbow Dash x Applejack

• Big Mac x Twilight

• Big Mac x Fluttershy

---

"...and I'm pretty sure we've got the place all to ourselves."

Rainbow Dash trotted easily alongside the orange mare, enjoying the caress of the cool evening air as it rustled through her feathers. "Really? That's a first."

"Heh, you're tellin' me." Applejack glanced over at the pegasus, smiling. "Granny clings to this place tighter than the lid on a pickle jar, but Aunt and Uncle Orange convinced her to come visit for the week. I'm sure I'll get an earful when she gets back, but in the meanwhile we're on our own."

It had been a slow, peaceful afternoon at Sweet Apple Acres -- just the kind of respite needed before the apple-bucking season started in earnest the next day. The trees of the orchard stood flush with fruit, the boughs weighed down with apples so large they seemed poised to fall even without a strong kick to help them along. By all indications, this would be the best harvest in a decade...but that wasn't what held Applejack's attention at the moment. The sun was just finishing its lazy descent below the horizon as the two ponies stepped out of the evening air and into the dim, cozy lighting of the barn.

Rainbow Dash shifted her shoulders, her muscles pleasantly achy from flight training earlier in the day, and let her saddlebags slip to the floor. "What about Apple Bloom?"

AJ slipped in behind her, nudging the door closed with a rear hoof. "Sleep-over at Scootaloo's."

"Big Mac?"

"Darned if I know -- I haven't seen him since lunchtime." She tossed her hat aside, a hint of a smile crossing her lips. "Probably out 'plowing' as usual."

Dash glanced back towards the orchard, confused. "He's still out in the fields?"

Applejack gave a half-embarrassed chuckle. "That ain't what I meant."

"Oh." The pegasus paused for a moment before it dawned on her. "Oh."

"Not that that matters to us, o' course." The earth pony moved forward, wrapping her neck around Rainbow's. "Important thing is, we're alone."

"Heh -- works for me." Dash leaned in, returning the nuzzle. "I've been looking forward to some quality time with my favorite mare."

The words sent a pleasant shiver down Applejack's spine. "Me too, partner." A second shiver, this time from the warm breath on her neck. Had it really only been a week since the last time they'd done this? It felt like an entire summer.

"And speaking of 'plowing'..."

Applejack's ears perked up, a blush developing on her cheeks as the pegasus took a step back. "Oh?"

"Just wait until you see..." -- Rainbow ducked, bending to retrieve something from her bag -- "...wuh I braght!"

As AJ looked to see what the pegasus had grabbed, her eyes immediately went wide in recognition. The rubber monstrosity that hung from her lover's mouth was...well, large, for lack of a better word. Long. Thick. Double-ended. She'd found it one evening tucked away in the back of Dash's closet, after the pair had already been fooling around for a few weeks, and had been staggered by the sheer size of the thing. Even Dash had sheepishly mumbled an excuse about the toy being a "gift from Rarity," though Applejack could only imagine what had inspired the unicorn to give such a...generous present.

And what a present it was. The earth mare had quite a vivid memory of her last encounter with the double-ended dildo: her hips pressed flush against Rainbow's, the satisfying slap of flank against flank, the ragged groans and moans that cut through the darkness of the bedroom. The two had bucked until their legs began to buckle, haunches burning with the effort. Not to mention the terrible, wonderful ache between her hind legs that had persisted well into the following day...

...The ache. Despite the hot shiver that ran through her at the recollection, Applejack let out a tired sigh. "I'm not sure if I'm up to that tonight, Dash. I've got a full day of apple-bucking tomorrow, and I, uh...I need to be able to walk straight."

The pegasus's ears drooped. "Awww...cuh muhn, Ay-jhey!"

Applejack couldn't resist a chuckle at the sight -- Dash's pout made the toy in her mouth look less like a weapon of mare destruction and more like a giant rubber frown. "Sorry, sugarcube. Tomorrow night, I promise." The earth mare stepped forward, grabbing the thick black length in her own mouth and gently tugging it away. "Now lehme stow thish in muh room fuhr latur."

"Ugh, fine." The pegasus huffed, blowing a tuft of mane away from her eyes. "You're not getting away that easy, though."

AJ smiled and cast the pegasus a smoky look.

Dash grinned. "Now that's more like it. Come find me in the apple cellar?"

She nodded before turning and trotting up the stairs. The earth pony felt almost lightheaded as she clopped down the hallway towards her bedroom, her mind a jumble of thoughts about what the pegasus might be planning. After all, there was usually a reason when Rainbow wanted to head down to the basement, and that reason usually involved being loud. AJ quickly stowed the toy beneath her mattress -- not that it really mattered; who was around to discover it? -- before winding her way downstairs again, her heart already pounding in anticipation of what was to come.

What she found was not exactly what she had expected. As she descended into the cellar, she could see Dash standing to one side of the stairs, looking intently toward something in a back corner of the room. The look on her face was something between surprise, concern, and curiousity -- an unexpected contrast to her usual cocky confidence.

"Uh, Rainbow? Whatcha lookin' at?"

The mare looked up with a start, her eyes widening as she noticed Applejack enter. "AJ! Hey! Um...wanna head back upstairs?"

"But I thought you--...um." She stopped mid-sentence as she reached the bottom of the stairs, finally able to see just what -- or rather, who -- the blue pegasus was staring at. There, asleep in a bed of hay, was Big Macintosh, sprawled on his side. For a moment she smiled at the sight of her older brother, his eyes closed, his chest peacefully rising and falling...but then she too noticed what had caught Rainbow's attention.

Given its sheer size and its insistent twitch, it was hard to look away.

Her earlier blush returned, ten times stronger. "Oh for pete's sake."

Several hours earlier...

"Ahh...t-there! Mmph...!" The purple unicorn was panting heavily, head thrown back into her pillow, hips rocking needfully upwards against her partner. "Oh Celestia!"

Big Macintosh wondered for a moment what the princess might do if she saw them here right now: her faithful student, writhing on the very edge of ecstasy; himself, muzzle buried between said student's hind legs. But then those hind legs wrapped around his neck, pulling him deeper into the mare's wet folds, and the stallion decided he didn't care.

These weekly "research sessions" had been going on for months now: ever since winter had been wrapped up and spring had swept in to take its place. A year spent in Ponyville had done wonders for Twilight's social skills, and as her second year began, she had resolved to work just as hard on her sex life. The bookworm had studied on her own at first, which had been enough to make her evenings alone much more enjoyable, but there was only so much an inexperienced mare could learn on her own. She wanted -- and increasingly, needed -- a teacher.

Which was where Big Macintosh came in. He had arrived that first night expecting to help Twilight with some "physical labor"; what he had not expected was to spend the night tangled up in her bedsheets. Gentlecolt that he was, the stallion found it impossible to turn down a mare in need -- especially one who just wanted a simple, drama-free buck-buddy.

Not that the fling was all easy-going fun. Twilight, ever the methodical one, had insisted they work their way through the Pony Sutra act by act, starting from A and ending at Z. Mac had tried to convince her that the book's alphabetical ordering might not be the best introduction to sex, especially for a first time, but the girl could be as stubborn as AJ when she wanted to be, and so Mac had reluctantly obliged. To her credit, she was as good at anal as any other mare he'd been with, and she seemed to enjoy the experience, even if she did walk a bit funny the next morning.

Things had continued from there, week by week, sex act by sex act. Today they were finishing the letter "C", and Big Mac was quite happy to return the favor from the letter "B" a few weeks prior.

"M-Mac," gasped the unicorn, her breath shallow and labored. Her body tensed as his tongue explored her sex, her thighs tightening further around his head. Another gentle lick at that spot made her head spin. "Oh goddesses, Mac, I'm--!"

Any further words were lost in a pleasured cry, the mare arching her back as something exploded inside of her. She clutched at the bed with one hoof as she climaxed, pressing against her partner, body begging for more. Macintosh did his best to prolong the moment, tracing along her quivering folds, his nostrils flaring at her scent as she twisted and twitched...

...but eventually, the moment passed. Twilight panted heavily as she came down from her peak, her coat covered in a sheen of sweat, the bedsheets damp beneath her. Big Macintosh gave a final lick (earning a moan and a shiver) before resting his muzzle on the unicorn's lower stomach, content to ignore his own hardness for the moment while the mare regained her senses.

It was a few more seconds before she let out a long exhale, her body melting even further into the bed. When she finally spoke, there was a hint of a giggle in her voice. "Mmmmmm...that was wonderful. We...we should really do one that again sometime." Slowly she craned her neck, looking down at her partner. "Everything alright down there? "

The stallion smiled back. "Eyup."

This time, Twilight did giggle. The purple unicorn rolled onto her side, patting a hoof on the pillow next to her. "Get up here, you."

Macintosh did as he was told, hopping up to join her on the bed. He stretched for a moment -- his neck, in particular, was a bit sore -- before turning to face Twilight. She was wrinkling her muzzle with a curious look, and it wasn't until she sniffed at the air that the stallion realized how strong the scent of mare on his breath must be.

Twilight seemed to figure it out at the same moment: a soft blush lit her cheeks, and then she leaned closer, meeting his lips in a quick kiss. Mac watched with quiet amusement as she licked her lips, trying the taste for herself.Always with the research, he thought to himself.

"So." Mac looked over at his sweat-soaked companion. "Any more plans for the afternoon?"

"Well..." Twilight smiled, her eyes half-lidded. "We could just fall asleep here..."

The stallion started to mumble his agreement, but his breath caught in his throat as the purple mare shifted, her leg rubbing up against a very sensitive part of his anatomy as her hoof began to drift down his chest.

"...then again, it'd be a shame to let a gift like this go to waste."

Macintosh couldn't help but groan as Twilight's hoof reached its destination, his length giving an eager twitch at the long overdue attention. Gently the unicorn rolled to sit on top of him, her wet sex pressing up against the base of his hard shaft. It lay thick and throbbing between the two of them, a foot of maleness, pulsing slightly with his heartbeat.

"Now let's see what's under 'D'."

Her horn lit up with a soft glow, a book levitating over from the bedstand to sit in the air in front of her. Macintosh let his head drop back with a quiet chuckle. Always the student.

"Aha! Here we are." Twilight peered down at the tome, ignoring the color illustrations in favor of the even more graphic text. "This looks interesting -- 'double-penetration'."

Mac's eyes widened in surprise. "Uh...Twi? I don't think you can do that with just one--"

"Oh wait, I missed a couple pages." Her horn glowed more brightly for a moment as she flipped back, eyes scanning the entries. "That's better. 'Deep-throating'."

Big Macintosh watched Twilight's eyes move as she read to the end of the paragraph, her grin growing wider and more devious with each sentence. The sultry look she gave him when she set the book down sent a thrill of arousal up his spine -- arousal that only grew as she pushed him back on to the bed, sliding smoothly down his chest to nuzzle at her prize.

"Time for round two..."

Her breath was warm. Her tongue was wet. Macintosh let out a low, blissful moan, eyes sliding shut, his heart racing as the mare wrapped her muzzle around the first few inches of his length...

"...What do you suppose he's thinking about?"

Applejack was pointedly averting her eyes, looking down at her own hooves. "How should I know? He could be fantasizing about anypony -- the town's full of pretty mares."

"Stallions, too."

A pause. "Stallions?"

"Hey, how do you know his barn door doesn't swing both ways?"

She blinked. "...Sure. Either way, it ain't none of my business. Or yours, for that matter."

Rainbow opened her mouth to respond, but was surprised to be interrupted by Big Macintosh himself. AJ's ears burned hotly as her brother gave a long, loud, and lustful moan, squirming in his sleep. The earth pony stared down at her hooves with a renewed intensity.

"Damn." Dash watched in wide-eyed wonder as his member visibly throbbed, a spot of wetness appearing at the tip of the thick length. "Poor guy. You think he's alright?"

"He's just horny." Was this conversation actually happening? "Besides, he was at Twi's for some kind of checkup earlier -- she woulda told us if he was sick."

"Still." The pegasus cocked her head. "I mean, he almost sounds like he's in pain."

AJ snorted. "If you're that worried, go get Fluttershy."

The pegasus clapped a hoof over her mouth, stifling a giggle. "Oh geez, can you imagine?"

The stallion glanced around nervously to ensure the coast was clear before quickly making his way down the street. It was only another block or two, now -- but in his current state, even that seemed like eternity. The hefty orbs between his legs felt like cantaloupes, jostling back and forth between his thighs with each step, their heavy swing providing a counterpoint to the persistent slap, slap, slap of his erection against his belly. Even that light stimulation was almost enough to drive Macintosh mad, the stud biting back a moan as he trotted forward.

The conclusion to the afternoon's "research" had been...less than satisfying, unfortunately. Not that Twilight had done a poor job -- no, she had devoted herself to the task at hoof with the same dedication and enthusiasm she always showed. In fact, she had been struggling to swallow the very last inch of his stallionhood (and Mac had been struggling not to buck his hips and explode down her throat) when they'd both heard the front door open, a familiar voice floating up from downstairs:

"Twilight?" called Spike. "I'm back with those books you wanted!"

Mac had never moved so fast. There had been just enough time for the stallion to dash out of the bedroom and hide around the corner before the little dragon made it upstairs. Macintosh stayed long enough to hear the coughing, spluttering Twilight make up an excuse about her "drink of water" going down the wrong pipe -- then he slinked away and let himself out the back door.

Unfortunately, that had left the male wandering the streets of Ponyville with a very large (and very visible) problem. Nervously Macintosh cantered past a few more houses, ignoring the needy throb of his maleness and praying that no one happened to glance outside at that particular moment. It was just a little further to the outskirts of town; once he got there, he could find a secluded spot, out of sight, and finish what that wonderful, wonderful mare had started...

As he passed the last of the bright pastel buildings, Mac let out a breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding. The stallion offered up a silent thanks to the goddesses as he stepped out into the lush, unsettled strip of land between Ponyville and the Everfree. There was plenty of space here, places where a pony could find some solitude away from the hustle and bustle of daily life. Great green bushes dotted the clearing, themselves dotted with bright red berries; above them stood tall, twisting oaks that cast long shadows on the expanse of grass below. Big Mac chose one of the latter and trotted towards it, putting a bit more distance between himself and the townsfolk before plopping down at its base and leaning back against the cool bark of the tree trunk.

The stallion glanced around once more to make sure he was hidden -- the houses were now just little huts in the distance, and the tree blocked him from view anyway -- before finally looking down to apprise the situation. He nudged himself with a hoof and winced at the dull ache in his groin. Really? It had been years since he'd last had blue balls -- not since he was a colt, spending those long hours holed up in the barn with his first serious fillyfriend, kissing and groping and rolling in the hay until his cock was stiffer than a bar of iron. Mac still remembered that summer vividly: the blissful torment of those hot, humid nights; the teasing touch of fur on fur; the slow, sensual buildup that left his body aching for release...

But there had been a solution to the problem then, and the same solution applied now. Macintosh grinned to himself as he slumped backwards against the tree trunk, looking down at his shaft, mind drifting back to thoughts of Twilight. If he tried, he could still picture her muzzle between his legs, his length slick with her saliva as she worked her way down the thick pole. By Luna's horn, the things that girl could do with her tongue--

Mac reached southwards with one hoof to stroke at his pride, the simple action sending a spark of pleasure through his body. With that first touch, the stallion fully relaxed, all the stress and frustration of his ordeal released in one happy groan--

"Oh! Um, hello? Who's there?"

He froze.

There was flicker of yellow through the bushes. "Don't be afraid," said a gentle voice. "I'm a friend, I promise."

The stallion's eyes widened. He knew that voice. Instinctively he scrambled backwards, bumping into the tree behind him, too flustered to do anything but cross his hooves in front of his crotch. It didn't hide much. "W-wait!" Oh Celestia, there was nowhere to hide--

"Macintosh?" Fluttershy poked her head out, emerging from the bushes. "I didn't expect to see you out here..." She saw the frantic look in his eyes, mistaking it for fear, and immediately grew more concerned. "Oh goodness, is everything alright? You're not hurt, are you?"

The dread in Mac's stomach multipled a hundredfold as the pegasus took to the air, darting closer with a quick flap of her wings. The male began to stammer some kind of warning, but he was still scrambling for words as the yellow mare landed in front of him, her wings folding gracefully as she touched down, her eyes sweeping his body for indication of some injury--

--and stopping, with visible shock, on the part of his body that indicated he was doing just fine.

Macintosh felt the blood drain from his face -- though regrettably, not from his groin. "I...um..."

Fluttershy stood stock still, eyes like dinner plates. Her mouth opened once or twice before she finally settled on a few words:

"...Oh dear."

That seemed to break the spell, at least for Mac. He leapt up, glancing left and right for an escape route, but when one failed to present itself he settled for the simplest option: falling down to all four hooves. The stallion fought back a groan and blinked back a tear as he hit the ground, landing with a none-too-comfortable thump on the very parts he was trying to hide.

Despite the circumstances, Fluttershy winced. "Macintosh..."

"I'msorryyouhadtaseethat," he said quickly, staring at the dirt, not trusting himself to look up at the mare. If only he had a hole to crawl into... "Just...I'll leave as soon as you, um...turn around..."

"Macintosh--"

"I'm sorry!" The stallion squeezed his eyes shut, cheeks burning. Why in Equestria had he picked this particular spot? "This ain't your fault, it's mine, I shouldn'ta been here and you shouldn'ta had to see--"

"Macintosh!"

Fluttershy's exclamation wasn't loud by any stretch of the word, but it cut right through the fog of his embarrassment. The stallion felt the panic drain from him, leaving only the shame.

"Look at me."

Her voice was quieter now, but just as firm. Macintosh couldn't remember hearing her speak with this tone before -- maybe she was going to give him the Stare? That sent a chill down his spine, but damned if he didn't deserve it. Gingerly the male craned his neck upwards, cracking an eye open--

The pegasus was...blushing? Of course she was, given what had just happened. Had he really expected Fluttershy to be angry? She was surprised, yes, embarrassed, politely shocked -- but, he realized with surprise of his own, she didn't seem upset, per se.

Their eyes locked for a brief moment before Fluttershy broke the gaze, her blush growing. The pegasus scuffed a forehoof against the ground, and when she spoke, the firmness had fled from her voice. "Um...that doesn't look very comfortable."

Macintosh blinked. "Uh...no," he replied honestly, and immediately felt even stupider for saying it. What the hay kind of an answer was that? "B-but I'm fine. I should just...I should leave." He started rising to his hooves--

"No!" The outburst surprised Macintosh enough that he fell back to the ground -- eyes watering a second time at the rough landing. Fluttershy bit her lip. "N-no, don't let me--...I mean..." Tentatively she took a step forward. "Maybe there's...something I could do to help?"

Big Macintosh just stared for a moment, and even when the full meaning struck him, it took several tries to speak. "I..." He fumbled for words. "What?!"

The yellow mare shrunk back a bit. "I mean, unless, you'd rather be alone--"

"N-no! I mean...uh..." The stallion suddenly found his heart pounding for a different reason, his brain clogged with new thoughts. Fluttershy? It wasn't as if he hadn't thought about it before, but...this was a bold introduction for anypony, nevermind the most soft-spoken mare in town. His mouth was dry. "Um."

She looked at him silently for a long moment, contemplating...then stepped forward, bending downwards to slide her neck around his.

Macintosh tensed initially, unprepared for the touch, but soon found himself relaxing into her embrace, even reciprocating the gesture. Her heart was beating as fast as his, he could tell, but the contact was calming, and soon he could feel them both begin to slow, together. Fluttershy shifted, pressing herself even closer. He felt a hint of a smile tug at his muzzle, and took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of her mane. It was...nice.

"Now." Her voice was so quiet the stallion almost thought he imagined it. "Why don't you roll over and let me take a look at you?"

Macintosh blushed again...but it was a good warmth, this time. Slowly and carefully he untwined his neck from hers, looking up at the female -- had her wings been flared like that the whole time? -- and then, with more confidence than he felt, rolled on to his side. His arousal had flagged somewhat, but the stallion found it quickly returning as Fluttershy lay down beside him, joining him on the warm grass.

"So." The pegasus shuffled closer, stroking soothingly along his side. "I'm guessing you're...sore?"

He inhaled in surprise as the female's hoof continued further, slipping down between his hind legs, tracing along the underside of his renewed erection before curling to cup his coltmakers. The stallion gave a surprised cough as she gave the heavy orbs an experimental poke, realizing that yes, he had taken somewhat of a beating. "Uh...yeah, a bit."

Fluttershy smiled over at him, and Macintosh saw a sharp glint in her eye that he'd never seen before.

"Then I'll be gentle."