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Things have always been difficult for me, I admit. But Terry made everything feel like a breeze... Since our talk, the two of us grew closer than we were and at first, it still went kinda wobbly but the more time we spend together, the easier it became as the weeks passed by. It didn't take long before the two of us picked up where we left off... I still felt nervous about certain things, I can tell you that... But you know, with every little bit of affection that Terry gave me, I felt more and more special... And it were the simple things that always did it for me... Terry was hanging out more with me than with his own friends, much to their annoyance sometimes... I guess that was my fault because I didn't like being around his friends... But Terry wanted to spend time with me instead of his friends and that made me feel special... He wasn't ashamed of it but I was at first... Terry would stand behind me and clenched his arm around my stomach while he whispered sweet little things in my ear which made me giggle and blush... People who know me would also know that i dont giggle or blush often... Most of the time, a simple "I love you" was enough... And at first, him displaying such affectionate gestures in public made me feel a little uneasy... Because I've always been in love with girls and to let people see that you are was something I was afraid of... Afraid of their reactions... But Terry's a guy and I realized I was witnessing it every day and no one ever said anything about it... Terry was anything but ashamed of me and he willingly let everybody know about it... Either by hugging or kissing me in public in front of everyone... In front of his friends, in front of girls he used to date... And of course, some girls gave me a dirty look but I just didn't care... I had other things to think of... It wasn't a secret anymore that Terry and I were madly in love with each other... For the first time in my life, I was able to come out... For the first time in my life, I was able to finally tell everyone about the love I shared... For the first time in my life, I was truly happy... And for the first time in my life, I finally found someone who truly shared the same feelings that I felt... And because of all this, my confidence grew rapidly because I no longer had to keep things a secret anymore... I can't tell you how relieved I felt in that period of my life... Terry wasn't aware that I'm bi-sexual back then but I figured I would tell him when the time was right... All was going very well and I didn't want to think too much about the future... And so, the days turned into weeks... With each and every day that passed by, Terry couldn't make me any happier than I was... But in fact, he did by giving me what I've always wanted the most...

When the time came for Terry to "officially" introduce him to Simon and Catherine, I was rather nervous. Terry already met Catherine the evening he came to my house to talk but it wasn't a proper introduction... It wasn't Catherine I was worried about. See, it was Simon. Simon has always been a bit of a joker, always messing with people and to pull pranks on them. It's just the way he is... Normally, I'm very cool with that because if I compared Simon to a dad of my friends, most of them weren't as awesome as Simon... But I was so afraid that Simon would do something to scare Terry away or do something embarrassing in front of me... Catherine on the other hand, did and grabbed a photo album and showed Terry pictures of me while she kept saying how cute I was when I was a little cub... Catherine and Simon were so caught up with him that I just sat there on the couch feeling so embarrassed... It was the first time I brought a lover over to meet the parents and it was worse than I could ever imagine... And at some point, I had enough and said we had to leave if we wanted to be on time for the movie but Terry kept flipping through the pages of that photo album while Catherine and Simon shared stories. Even though it was embarrassing, they didn't scare Terry away, much to my relieve. But somehow, I just knew that it wasn't the end of it and that something was coming... Simon did get along pretty well with Terry, making jokes and everything but the biggest one was when Terry and I were about to leave to go to the movies on that Friday evening. I was in the hallway and I overheard their conversation and just knew what would happen... So I stayed in the hallway... 'Terry, before you go, I'd like you to know something.' 'Yes?' 'See, Ceylan experienced a lot of things in her life. She lost a lot more than you could ever imagine so you'll have to understand that Ceylan means the world to me and Catherine. She needs people to be around with, someone she can trust the most. I can see that you mean a lot to her and that she loves you very much.' 'Heh... I know...' 'You know, I was young once. I know how I was thinking when I was your age and when I was around with girls... And I know it can be difficult to meet the parents of your girl and that they give you a lecture on how to treat their little angel and everything. I've been there, really. So I'm not giving you one. But you seem like a nice guy and I like you.' 'Hehehe... Thanks.' 'But Terry?' 'Yes sir?' 'If you pull anything on my little girl, I swear, I will bust you up.' 'U-Uh... Okay... Duly noted... Uh, sir...' 'Naah, I'm just messing with ya.' 'Oh! Oh, okay... Hehe...' 'See, I just want Ceylan to be happy. It's also the first time she ever took a boyfriend home for us to meet and it means a lot for the both of us to see Ceylan so happy.' 'Heh... I understand.' 'Alright then... Have fun.' 'Sure thing.' 'No, really...' 'Hm?' 'I WILL bust you up...'

And at that moment, I peeked around the corner and asked Terry if he was ready. And Terry just looked at me with big eyes as if he was trying to say "get me the hell out of here!". While Terry was looking at me, Simon gave me his familiar lol-face and two thumbs up and the moment Terry looked at Simon again, Simon had a really serious expression and looked as if he had to take a dump... Terry of course, thought that he was serious about everything Simon said to him... I rolled my eyes at Simon and started to snicker quietly while Terry was looking very uneasy. So I got him out of there. I poked Simon in the waist and told him not to scare him while Simon was snickering quietly as well, asking me if I saw his face... Yeah, it was funny to see Terry's face but really mean... And with that, Terry and I left to go to the movies. But while we were driving in his car, Terry was unusually quiet... So I broke the silence... 'So what do you think of him?' 'Uh, yeah... Yeah, he seems nice...' 'He is. He was just joking about busting you up though. Don't worry!' 'Oh, good... Hehehe...' 'He doesn't need to bust you up when you pull something on me. I will.' 'Red belt Tae Kwon Do, right?' 'Yup.' '... Duly noted.'

Terry and I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest that night... Personally, I've always loved the first one and the second was even better in my honest opinion. I left the movies that evening with a huge smile on my face and Terry and I went for a bite to eat and a drink at a humble little café afterwards. I had such a blast that evening... Terry took me home that night but I always missed him whenever I wasn't around him. As the weeks passed by, the two of us wanted more and more to be together and at some point, Terry and I stayed over at each other's house sometimes during the weekend. Of course, I thought it was a little scary at first but it didn't happened... I was afraid that something might happen again but Terry stayed patient... Most of the time whenever we were spending the nights together, Terry and I were making out and of course, whenever he was on top of me, I felt "something" growing between my legs... And whenever that happened, Terry just looked at me and smiled nervously... I always thought that a guy could get a boner on command but Terry said that it's actually something a guy can't control and that it can cause pretty embarrassing situations whenever it happens... So you can imagine how naïve I was on a guy's ehm... ahem, anatomy... That was still pretty much the only sexual thing happening between us, me seeing his boner sometimes in his boxer shorts... And that made me a little curious sometimes... Nevertheless, I didn't make the first move... Yet...

Despite being curious every once in a while about Terry's, ehm, anatomy, I wasn't thinking about sex at the time. Terry stayed patient and didn't try anything but for some reason, it always got me thinking... Even though I knew I had to take it real slow and that I still had a long way to go, I figured it was time to at least consider the first step... And it happened the night I stayed over at his place when Terry had the house for himself once more... His parents weren't on vacation or anything but Terry's dad Peter had a company outing and since his dad owned the entire company, he came along. They stayed over at a fancy five star hotel for the night, celebrating the closing of a huge project that gave them a lot of profit and potential clients so all the more reason to celebrate. Terry and I have been on the move all day, shopping in Rayvale, approximately fifty kilometres west from Ravello. The city itself was fairly big and it's a paradise for those who like to shop. Sadly, it's also very expensive... Clothes shops like Louis Vuitton, Armani and Prada are there for people to spend their hard earned money... Luxurious sports-car dealers like Ferrari and Lamborghini are settled there as well and of course, Terry drooled in front of the windows, gawping at the cars like I was drooling at the leather purses from Louis Vuitton and stiletto's from Prada... I saw people in the Ferrari dealer discussing the colour of the hand stitched leather dashboard of their potential new car and I saw a girl of my age holding a NINE HUNDRED dinar purse to see if it matched with her outfit. I wouldn't be surprised if it was a gift from her mother. People just don't know what to do with their money once they're loaded with it... And it made me think that my grandmother was right... That from the money we don't own, we buy things we don't need to impress people we don't know... I know I'll never be able to afford such lifestyle... But when I looked at Terry and saw how he smiled at me, I realized that what I had was something that no one could ever afford... Was I jealous...? I might've been a little bit... Those Prada stiletto's would look way better on me than on that snobbish little cunt who bought them... But then I realized that they probably don't sell them in my size...

Being out all day and walking around wore me out to say the least. They had all sorts of fancy restaurants on the boulevard where we could have our dinner but looking at the menu's and to see their specialties made me lose my appetite. Things like snails and duck pate and caviar were things I'm not very fond of... I think people inside those restaurants didn't know what died on their plate and it looked disgusting to say the least... Also, I bet if you ate there, you'd still be hungry after a ridiculously expensive five-course menu because there was barely any food on the plate... So Terry and I went to a hamburger joint and had a large burger and fries... The hamburger itself was so big that I wasn't able to finish it and I'm a pretty hearty eater... After we left, we basically rolled ourselves back to his car because the two of us were so stuffed... And once we finally got to Terry's place at around ten o'clock, I took my high heels off and washed my feet in the bathroom. When I came back, Terry was already in his room on his bed in his underwear with his eyes closed and once I flopped down on his bed, he looked at me... 'Why do you always do that?' 'What do you mean?' 'You always wash your feet...' 'Yeah, so...? It's a habit of mine... And besides, you and I both don't appreciate stinky feet...' 'They're not stinky...' 'Trust me, they were after today... Gaah, my feet are killing me...'

Terry looked at me and smiled once more and sat upright while looking at my feet... He moved to the end of the bed and got hold of my right foot... His thumbs were gently caressing my paw-pad while I just watched him... And then he firmly started to massage my foot... 'Oh, that's nice...' 'You ticklish?' 'No, not really...' 'Haha, liar...' 'Okay, maybe a little bit. Oooh, that feels great... Hihi...' 'Hehehe...' 'But yeah, it's a habit from when I was little...' 'Washing feet?' 'Oh yes... Back in Salahadihn, it's very normal for people to wash their feet before they enter a house. Every house had a bowl of water in front of its door for people to wash their feet in before they entered. It's a sign of respect...' 'Really now?' 'Yes.' 'Wow... So, uh... Where exactly is Salahadihn...?' 'It's an island, seventy kilometres off the coast of Dawlat Al-Qatar and Salahadihn used to be a province of Dawlat Al-Qatar until it reached independence in the nineteen thirties. But after the civil war in nineteen ninety-four, it became a province once more when the government collapsed and the country had a huge debt to pay.' 'So... You've been there when it happened or...?' 'Yes... It was a large scale genocide of my people and I saw it happening.' 'Heh... Do you ever think of going back?' 'No, I don't... There's nothing there for me anymore. My entire family didn't survive the war and I don't wanna go back, afraid that I might remember things I'd rather not want to. And yes, I still have nightmares sometimes but it's not nearly as bad as it once to be. I learned to deal with it but it takes a lot of time, like pretty much with everything for me.'

It stayed silent for a moment when I closed my eyes and felt how Terry was firmly massaging my foot which was very nice... No one ever paid attention to my feet before and I loved it... When I opened my eyes, I noticed Terry still kept staring at my foot while he kept massaging it... Several moments later, he looked up to me while I saw in his face that he wanted me to answer a lot of questions for him... 'Go on, ask...' 'Hm?' 'I know you've got a lot of questions about me...' 'Well, yeah but...' 'It's okay, you can ask me.' 'I don't know where to start.' 'Just pick one.'

Terry looked down for a moment and hesitated at first and something about him made me think that he was really embarrassed for the question he was about to ask. It was a question I didn't expect... 'So, uh... How did you get those stripes?' 'What?' 'Those black stripes...? On your body...? Are those tattoo's or...?' 'Haha, you serious? That's the only question you can think of?' 'For now, yes.' 'Sweetheart, I'm a tigress, I was born with these stripes...' 'Ooooh...' 'And there's a reason why we have those stripes...' 'Care to share?'

I know this story because I've heard it a thousand times... It's a story my real grandmother always told me when I was little and it really took me a while to remember every word... It's a tale of which I'll hopefully be able to tell like my real grandmother did... 'Well...' 'Yeah...?' 'It is written in the Kahnaru that we, tigers, didn't always have stripes. The goddess of love Asheryn lost her heart to Teriss, the god of light. Despite that Teriss lost his heart for her as well, the Ancient Gods did not approve of their love because Asheryn was a goddess of emotion and Teriss was a god of the elements. It was not meant to be...' 'Go on...' 'Even though the Ancient God's did not approve of the love they shared, Asheryn and Teriss always met each other at night on top of mount Tohandahkar. Asheryn made passionately love to Teriss whenever they were together, not knowing that Skaerslid, god of the wind was watching them from a distance one night. He went back to the Ancient Gods and told them what he saw... The Ancient Gods were furious of this blatant disrespect and disgrace the two lovers brought over them...' 'Then what happened...?' 'On the order of the Ancient Gods, a powerful tornado, commanded by Skaerslid, lifted Teriss up high in the air, banishing him in the cold outer hell for all eternity...' 'Question.' 'Yes?' 'Isn't hell supposed to be hot?' 'We have a different definition of hell.' 'I see, go on.' 'Where was I? Oh yeah... Teriss was banished from earth, far away from his beloved Asheryn... But the Ancient Gods came to a decision that Asheryn should not go unpunished as well for her "misbehaviour"... The Ancient Gods mercilessly beat her with a whip which caused her to have bloody welts on her entire body... The Ancient Gods made her welts permanent by turning it black so that she was always reminded of her sin. Asheryn was banished to earth and became mortal... She gave birth to a son, a demigod called Arioses who became a hero, much like Hercules. But despite those horrible things Asheryn has been through, she never gave up her love for Teriss, who was out there somewhere, giving the moon, the sun and the stars their light and Asheryn always waited for the day she could join her loved one again... Some say their love can still be seen in the stars at night, when all is dark...'

It stayed silent for a long time when Terry stopped massaging me and looked at me surprised while I just smiled at him... He wasn't able to place the link between the story I just told him and our stripes... 'Our stripes are the reminder of her sin that wasn't a sin and our stripes define us who we are. Our stripes remind us that we should never give up our love for someone, no matter how difficult it gets...' 'Wow... You'd make an excellent storyteller.' 'Thank you... Hehe...' 'No seriously...' 'So now you know.' 'And uh...' 'Yes?' 'Are you wearing eyeshadow twenty four seven?' 'What, you mean the beige patches around my eyes?' 'Yeah?' 'Haha, sweetheart, I don't wear make-up, I was born with it as well. Most tigers have black stripes on their muzzle as well but I don't. I got these little black spots on the side instead.' 'Aaaah... So no make-up?' 'No, I never wear it. Maybe a little lip-gloss every once in a while but that's pretty much it.' 'Hehehe...' 'How about variety?' 'Variety?' 'Yeah, like... Colour your stripes red, your orange fur green, your white patches yellow and your beige patches blue?' '... I'm a tigress, not a rainbow!' 'People dye their fur all the time, it's normal!' 'Hehehe...' 'So, fur dye, yes or no?' 'Massage my feet again and I'll answer every question you have for me.' 'Oh! Sure thing...'

He sure did, he had a lot of questions... How to say specific things in Salahadihnes to things about the war. I didn't went too much into detail about it like the time I stayed over at Samantha's place... And I think Terry knew I didn't like to talk about it... So after a few questions, he changed the subject... I wouldn't mind answering them, as long as he kept massaging my feet... But his hands must've felt sore by now... 'Don't you ever get tired of it?' 'Of what?' 'Massaging my feet, you've been doing it for like, an hour or something...' 'Want me to stop?' 'Well, I didn't say that... I really like it... Is there a connection between you and feet?' 'You can say that, yeah... Haha...' 'Hehehehe...' 'It's one of the things I really like about girls.' 'Feet? You like feet?' 'Well, yeah...' 'Most guys check out girls' boobs or ass or legs but you check out feet...?' 'Hm-mm...' 'Wow... What's so special about it?' 'I don't know, I just really like it.' 'You think I have sexy feet...?' 'Definitely...' 'Well, that certainly is new... But that does explain a lot.'

"Wait, what's he doing?" He moved my foot he was holding closer to his muzzle and rubbed his wet nose against it... I couldn't believe what I was seeing but he really did... He gently pressed his lips against my heel and slowly started to kiss upwards while I bit my upper lip to keep my laughter in... It was so strange to see but I would be lying if I said I didn't like it... So I let him be and I saw he enjoyed it very much as well... "Wow..." No one ever did this before... And even though I knew it was sexual in nature, it sure didn't felt like that... It felt good... The way he kissed my pads and my toes felt as if he was making love with my foot... I didn't mind... I loved it... Every once in a while, Terry looked at me to see how I was doing and I heard him chuckling quietly whenever he did, probably because of my reaction... It started out quite humorously but the situation turned more serious the moment he started to suck on my toes... And I'll have to be honest, it's quite sexy whenever someone does that... I never knew toes could be so sensitive... Terry seemed to have the time of his life with my foot though... So I let him be... Terry's boner was once more growing in his boxer-shorts and something just told me that he wanted to go further than just sucking on my toes... But he didn't... He kissed my toes first, all four of them, shortly followed by licking... When I whispered quietly to him to suck on them again, he gladly obeyed... It was quite the turn-on to say the least... I already felt a wet damp in my panties because of it... And yes, I really wanted to play with myself a little while he was doing it but you know... That wouldn't feel right do that in front of him yet... I could've given Terry a little more than that... His eyes were just begging to touch him between his legs... Either with my hands or with my feet... I wasn't realizing it that night... I was too focused on my own... But the most important thing was that Terry was enjoying it as well... I know that Terry could go on all night... But at some point, he stopped and looked at me... His expression on his face was very embarrassed and looked at me as if he made a mistake again... Maybe he expected me to yell at him or rip his arms off or something like that while he looked a little uneasy... So I reassured him by smiling at him and by holding my other foot in front of his muzzle... 'Now for the other...'

Oh yes, Terry certainly knew what he liked... And I wished I was able to say the same... But that little damp spot in my panties became bigger once he worked his magic on my other foot... It's strange how something so innocent and insignificant can be so arousing... And even though I didn't considered it anything sexual in nature, I fucking loved it... And yet I couldn't sleep at night... The aroused feelings I felt in my stomach didn't left when Terry was asleep... And I was on my side, looking at Terry while he was snoring quietly... While I was looking at him, those aroused feelings I felt only felt more intense the longer I was watching him and I remember thinking "what the hell is going on...?" And yet, it all felt right... I felt how my hands were slowly slipping away inside my panties... Gently rubbing that wet pink slit of mine while I kept staring at Terry... Terry's a solid sleeper... He wouldn't even wake up if a wrecking crew would bring down the house... I gently nudged my muzzle against his and smelled his strong scent... "Maybe that's the reason why I'm so turned on..." I wasn't intending to ask myself any questions... So I closed my eyes and was slowing fingering myself, knowing that he was in my presence and yet wouldn't see or hear me doing it... Thinking of him, seeing him, smelling him... Remembering what he did to my feet... It all paid off, feeling something so intense, so desirable that I haven't felt in quite a long time... I tried to stay as quiet as possible but those little squeaks and mews of pleasure couldn't be oppressed... I stopped the moment I started to squirt and it took me a while to recover as I caressed his cheek and just stared at Terry who was still peacefully asleep... With a gentle kiss on his lips, I closed my eyes, knowing that every step begins small, but can open a whole new world to you if you dare to take risks... And that night, I felt one step closer as another burden fell off my shoulders...

What Terry did that night seemed to be so innocent but had huge consequences for me. Terry might've thought that it wasn't such a big deal but it was for me. That night, I finally managed to feel comfortable in something we both liked and I felt as if Terry finally opened the doorway to new possibilities for me to explore. It's a start, yes, and I still really had a long way to go but for the first time ever, I knew that things would be alright if I gave it enough time. It sparked my curiosity to say the least... And well, before you are going to do something you've never done before, you ought to do a lot of research, which I did. By complete coincidence of course, I landed on a sex-site with free amateur movies which had a lot of genres... Old, young, bi, gay, lesbian, fetish, BDSM, feet, you name it... They had everything... And one night, I decided to just watch a movie to see how I would feel about it... A simple video, about twenty minutes long where a guy made love to his girlfriend... And it was actually very sweet to see... It seemed passionate... They both enjoyed it and I think the girl enjoyed it the most... The guy paid a lot of attention to his girl and the two of them were cuddling and giggling after they finished... I know Terry's quite the cuddler... And I figured that if I made love to Terry, it would be something similar like that... I got my hunches from the night he paid attention to my feet... And so, one thing led to another and I started to watch movies to see how people were doing it, giving me an impression of what to expect... And yes, watching those movies turned me on... Mainly because some girls had these sweet little moans of pleasure and others were moaning their lungs out for getting nailed so hard... But I also couldn't keep my eyes off a guy's penis each time it showed... I guess it's one of the benefits for being bi-sexual. There's always someone or something to suit your needs... Being curious of how it all worked, I started to do my "research" by checking websites with tips for having sex and everything... And I figured I had to experiment with it to see if I could really like it... So by complete coincidence once more, I ended up on a web-shop that sold sex-toys... You'd be surprised of the things they sell... But of course, curiosity got the better of me and I browsed that website to see what they had to sell... But what really caught me was when I looked at the dildo section... They had various dildo's in all shapes, sizes and materials... And well, after I thought it through, I figured I had to get one myself to feel what it's like and if I could enjoy it... Prices ranged from fifteen dinar to a two hundred and twenty dinar dildo... But there was one that caught my attention... A rather cheap one, made out of soft silicone flesh material which was about twenty centimetres long and three centimetres wide, shaped like a real penis and had a convenient suction cup... And I swear, the moment the thought came to mind, it kinda startled me at first but the thought just didn't go away... "It's only eighteen dinar..." At first, I didn't want to buy it. And yet the thought always came back to me at night... Thinking of Terry whenever I wasn't around him and fingering myself at night just didn't do it anymore even though it still felt great... But I just wanted to explore more and try to take it to the next level... For several days, I stared at the product, wondering if I should get it or not... Of course, I took all the precautions necessary to make everything as discrete as possible... The delivery terms said it would be very discrete and that no one would be able to trace the origin of the package, seeing as a different firm name is used for the billing and the package if you choose that option. You also had the possibility not to get it delivered to your house but get it delivered instead to a postal distribution point... I had all the answers I needed and took all the precautions necessary to make it as discrete as possible... All I had to do now was to click the "buy" button...

Which I didn't yet... Thinking it over and over again for several days really had me doubting... What if I didn't like it? You can't get a refund once its used... Then again, it was only eighteen dinar... Maybe I was able to learn to like it... And I finally tied the knot one night, while I was in my room fingering myself again while thinking of Terry... It just didn't do it anymore... I still wanted more... And I could at least try it to see if it was any good... So I finally did it... After hesitating for several days, I finally clicked the "buy" button... And I also ordered a large bottle of lubrication and toy-cleaner spray at a discount price to go with my order. It would take about two days for my parcel to arrive and I prayed that nothing would go wrong with the shipment... After all, my name was on the parcel... After two days of waiting impatiently and anxiety, I finally got word by e-mail that my parcel arrived and that I could pick it up if I came along with my delivery note... So immediately after class was over, I got home and asked Simon if I could borrow his car to make my way to the distribution point where it got delivered. When I got there, I thought that they somehow managed to look inside the parcel and that the guy behind the counter would make a remark or something... "Oh? Parcel WST971432-N, the large transparent white dildo, coming up." And then he would grab the microphone and announced that I was about to pick it up. "Could someone please deliver parcel WST971432-N to the counter for Ceylan Jaisyaram? Thank you." And then another guy would yell from the back "Is it the large dildo?!" And then he would announce on the microphone again "Yes! That's the one! Hurry up so that she can have a jolly good time with herself." But as you might know, I have a very vivid imagination and thank god it wasn't anything like that... I just gave my delivery note and the guy behind the counter handed my parcel over, that's it, no questions asked... I held the parcel in my hands for a moment, looking at the guy as if something else had to happen before I could go. I waited until he said that I could take my parcel and be off... So I nervously smiled, thanked him and got out as quickly as I could...

Despite being so cautious with everything, there was just one thing I didn't thought through... What to do once I get home...? I figured I would go straight to my room and hide it but I wasn't expecting Catherine to be busy upstairs... The moment I was upstairs, she saw me in the hallway, holding my parcel... And I swear I almost had a heart attack the moment I saw her because I wasn't expecting that... 'What's that you're holding?' 'U-Uh, a parcel...' 'Haha, I can see that... What'd you ordered?' 'Uh, underwear... I ordered it online...' 'You ordered underwear online? How would you know that it'll fit you?'

"With lots of lubrication I hope..."

'I can always get a refund and send it back. So uh, yeah. I'm off to do some homework now!' 'Alright, dear, dinner will be ready in half an hour.' 'Okay!' "Phewh..." And with that, I quickly got in my room and closed the door behind me... I carefully opened the parcel and saw its contents... Everything was there, everything I needed... But the size of that thing kinda startled me... "How the hell is this ever going to fit...?" I took another good look inside the box... "What, no manual...?" I decided to wait for the weekend to try it out so that I could stay up all night to play with myself and to discover it... And so I did... In the mean time, I watched movies of girls enjoying their dildo's in the evening, figuring I would learn a thing or two by watching them...

Friday night... I had it all worked out. I waited for Catherine and Simon to go to bed and already took a shower before they used the bathroom. Still waited for half an hour and I checked up on them to see if they really were asleep. And they were... So I sneaked back to my room and got hold of the box and removed the packaging of the dildo... It's very soft and fleshy like... I stood in front of the mirror looking at myself holding the dildo... "I can't believe I'm doing this..." And yes, I did felt silly when I saw myself rubbing the dildo between my breasts... I rubbed the tip of it over my nipples but the fabric of my bra didn't make it feel as sensitive... There was this aroused tingle going through my stomach the moment I took my bra off, knowing what I was about to do... To see myself rubbing a fake penis over my nipples was silly to say the least and I felt kind of embarrassed but I figured its just part of the learning process... It felt awkward, wonderful, strange, great and scary at the same time... Realizing that I was alone and that I could take all the time I needed kept me going... Seeing those sex movies paid off... I was about to do things I never imagined I would... Licking the tip of the dildo for example... It wasn't much of a turn-on at first but once I gently started rubbing between my legs, it was... It's like making love to yourself... And at that point, I slowly lowered my dildo and gently rubbed it between my legs... Seeing a little damp spot in my panties turned me on and felt so great to do this... At some point, I pulled my panties down and saw these thick juicy pussy lips of mine, only seeing a tiny pink little slit in between... At times like these whenever I was alone, at the height of my arousal, I always wished that Samantha was with me... To provide a helping hand, so to speak... Or a helping tongue for all that matters...

Masturbation never really seemed to help... Whenever I was spending the night with Samantha, I was distracted... And even when I was alone, trying to explore myself, the thoughts were always running through my mind... Thinking about it way too much... Focusing on reaching my climax... Maybe that's the reason why I rarely have orgasms, even when I go solo... It takes a lot of time, I know... But that night, I had all the time in the world in my journey of self-discovery... I managed to clear my mind and started to relax once I was rubbing myself between my fat pussy lips again, gently inserting a finger in that tight little hole of mine... And I was sure that Terry would love to feel his cock inside of me... "Terry..." I had to lie down to be comfortable for what I was intending to do next... Something I haven't done in quite some time... And you know, I don't really know why I never kept up with it, seeing as it's pretty much the only thing I really liked doing to myself... Being focused on other things made me forget what masturbation really is about... Just having a good time with yourself, whether or not you're reaching your climax... So I did... I got down on my back on the soft mattress and lifted my legs up in the air. It took several tries but then I finally managed to place my feet in my neck... And when I looked up, I had a good view on my pussy... I tried to get my face as close as possible to my pussy by holding my arms around my legs and tried to force it down... I have a fairly long and wide tongue but I couldn't reach it just yet... So I placed two pillows underneath my lower-back and threw my legs in the air once more, locking it by placing my feet in my neck and using my arms to force my ass down... My nose poked my vagina and I used my fingers to spread my those lips... I managed to insert a finger and felt how wet I was... I haven't tasted myself in quite a long time but I always liked it... I didn't know why I didn't do this more often... And then suddenly, I remembered... "Ow! Cramp! Cramp!!" Guess I wasn't that flexible anymore like I used to be... I tried to relax the leg I was getting a cramp in by placing it more sideways so that the muscle that was aching could relax... And with that, I continued where I left off... My own juices were sticking to my fingers and I could see that my pussy was dripping wet... "Mmm... Finger licking good..." It only took a slight nudge of my head to be able to reach my own pussy and I did it my way... Long, gentle strokes with my tongue while rubbing my clitoris... It wasn't the most comfortable position to lick my own pussy, I admit, but it certainly was the most rewarding... I could lick every inch between my legs without a problem... Tasting my own sweet juices... Sucking on my own clitoris... If only I wasn't alone... "What would Terry do if he saw me like this...?" I know... He'd play with my feet again... My feet were right next to my head..."Oh, what the hell..." Slightly embarrassed at first, I kissed my own feet as well as I was rubbing my pussy... Sucking on my toes the way Terry did... I closed my eyes and imagined that Terry was watching me from a distance... I know he wants to fuck me so badly... And than I got hold of my dildo... Rubbing it gently between my lips while I was still licking and sucking my toes... Every once in a while, I squirted a bit and my quiet breathing turned into little mews of pleasure... If only I could see myself... I fingered myself for a while to make that hole a little wider and used my other hand to rub the dildo over my chest... And when I finally felt ready to insert it, I gently placed the tip against that tight little hole of mine and slowly, very slowly, started to penetrate myself... And even though I was so wet and my pussy felt so slick, it still hurt... "Don't force it... You're still just a little too tight, that's all..." Gently going in and out with just the tip of the dildo seemed to do the trick... Every now and then I pulled out and rubbed it over my clitoris... I tried to go a little deeper each time I inserted it and once I got used to it, I tried to go deeper but at some point, that kept hurting and I noticed the dildo was inserted in me for about a quarter of its length... Slowly, I pulled out and used some of that lubrication on the dildo and rubbed a lot of that stuff on my pussy... It did the trick... The lube made it so much easier... The tip went in, just like that and I slowly started to penetrate myself once more, trying to go a little deeper each time... And the feeling...? I don't know how to describe it... But it felt so great... Playing with myself really paid off that night... The longer I was penetrating myself, the deeper I wanted it inside of me but I thought to myself not to haste things... At some point, the cramp started to come back and wouldn't go away, no matter what I tried... So I changed position, much like a missionary position with my legs up... I closed my eyes and I could easily imagine that it was Terry who was inserting his little friend in me while hearing his sweet whisperings in my ear, followed by a naughty one every once in a while... Whispering how he loved to feel that tight little hole of mine around his cock... I tried to be as quiet as possible but at some point, it wasn't possible for me to stay quiet... Little squeaks and quiet moans escaped my throat as the feelings only stacked up in my stomach... Going in and out slowly with the dildo and rubbing my clitoris at the same time felt so great... it felt as if I had to pee very badly... I've had this feeling before... But it was still different... A feeling so intense I never felt before and only got more intense from that point on... My moans became louder and louder and it was a good thing I had the door closed... At that point, I knew I was going to reach my climax... It felt so good that I just didn't want to stop... I firmly had my eyes shut and repeatedly whispered to myself that I was about to cum... "Oh god, I'm cumming...! I'm cumming...! Oh my god...!" And if you believe that long enough, you will... That intense feeling in my stomach I felt all along exploded into thousands of little pieces and scattered through out my body while I was gasping for air... I felt myself squirting and dripping and when I slowly pulled out, it felt as if there was some kind of a suction and once I pulled it out, I was gently fondling my clitoris again... My bed sheets had a fairly large damp spot and my whole body was still trembling from that amazing experience and I slowly tried to catch my breath again... Placing a towel underneath me would've been a smart thing to do... I'll keep that in mind next time... My mind was blank as I was staring at the white ceiling once more in an attempt to fall asleep... That night, I fell asleep exhausted with a huge smile on my face...

I can honestly say that it was one of the most intense orgasms I've ever had... It took me about an hour to reach it but it was so worth it... I've never felt this before... And it made me wonder if the "orgasms" I felt before actually were orgasms... Maybe the orgasm I reached that night was the only one I truly experienced... Just because you squirt doesn't make you reach your climax... My first attempt in using a penis and trying to like it wasn't unlike the previous experiences I've had... It always hurt and I was never able to enjoy it... I never liked the idea of having sex with a male, let alone being penetrated by him... And maybe the reason I didn't like it and why I always was so afraid of it was because all of the negative experiences were in my head... I had to let go in order to move on... To accept things once more the way they were... But the reason why I bought the dildo wasn't because I was looking for a jolly good time with myself... It was more of a test to see if I was able to enjoy being penetrated in a safe environment, doing it my way and my way alone... It's all between my head, I know... But I was glad that I did this... For not being afraid anymore and to let it all go... To learn that sex doesn't have to be a negative experience... That it's not the key to love and affection... It's just a mere tool to bring two people more closer than they already are... I wasn't intending to jump on Terry's pole after that very pleasant experience if that's you're thinking right now... I knew I still had a long way to go and I would do it my way, taking as much time as I needed. But you know, I realized that sex is also a relative understanding... It doesn't have to be vaginal intercourse... There are lots of other things to enjoy with your partner... And once I realized that, I knew what I had to do to make the first step to make it enjoyable for the both of us and still take it very slowly for myself... I figured the journey to discover myself has only just begun...