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Ocean Depths chapter 21

By Roofles

"Your right Carlson shouldn't have done that. It was between me and you, but if he wasn't there I would have bashed your face in on the side rail." Lucas tone was even and calm as he sipped the iced water not even looking at his ex.

Andrew shifted uncomfortable in his seat. He had called this dinner to work the issues that had arisen between them in hopes to form a mutual understanding and from there work things out for the better. He had formulated a perfect plan, taking him out on their first date again recreating everything. But the second Lucas opened his door things had fallen apart. All that sadness and sorrow Lucas had felt after walking in on them came back as a boiling rage. And this outing was beginning to get under his nerves more and more as the day dragged on, dashing any hopes Andrew had of patching things up.

Andrew had given him time after trying to contact him...after the first several attempts. When he finally managed to get him on the line he was lucky he had done it over the phone rather in person. Andrew had known him for a long time now and knew when he was covering something up. He had yelled and cursed slamming the phone on the charger. He was furious beyond anything Andrew had ever seen him and yet... Andrew knew otherwise. He hurt him more than he had ever intended. He was covering all that pain he felt with anger. A stupid mistake ended up crushing the man he had proposed to and it wasn't something he could ever sweep under the rug.

And now here he was with another man himself and a fur no less.

But when he saw him come out of the door the other day, he could see that anguish and pain come into those eyes, across his face. But that second before Andrew could see him smiling and laughing with that otter. From what he heard he never even cracked a smile after what happened...until now.

"No, it's fine. I just wasn't expecting...that." Andrew kept up the friendly smile trying to ease the tension between them. "I know things haven't gone as planned. But I mean we were going to get hitch. We were engaged. I figured there was more between us than, well, this!"

Lucas looked across at him. Glad that he simple put everything out there rather than dragging on this night any more than it already had. Carlson was busy with his own plans and Lucas hadn't told him about this. Or wanted to. He wanted to simple nip this in the butt while he still could before it turned into a raging inferno. And most of all he didn't want Carlson dragged into this anymore than he already was.

Looking across the table at him, he wasn't sure why he had even bothered dating this man. Maybe it was the fact that the only real friends he had had introduced them, pushed them together rather forcible. Or it was the fact he was worried he wouldn't be good enough for anyone else, or he couldn't get anyone better... He wanted to make excuses though, to find some reason other than the 'obvious' to hate him. But in the end, looking across the table he knew why it was he had spent countless nights with him and had said yes when he proposed. In the end he still loved him; the heart was such an unforgiving thing.

"It hurt, Andrew. Finding you two together. It hurt. And anything you say or do can't change that fact."

"Luke, sweetie." Andrew leaned forward placing a hand on his. Lucas pulled it back folding his arms and staring down at the table. "I made a mistake."

"Where did you plan to put it?" Lucas joked coldly.

Andrew leaned back fiddling with his silverware. "I know it was something I'll regret 'til the day I die. It was just...one last time, before I would spend the rest of our lives being just us. We were so happy and everything was perfect! For a change..."

"So you went and 'willingly' slept with your coworker?"

"I know, it was stupid! Idiotic... But everything was just there and it just happened. It was the biggest mistake in my life."

"So I hear." Lucas replied as coldly as ever to him.

"Didn't we have good times? Remember when we used to hit that old tacky style Hawaiian bar. And that one waitress, with the hair!" He laughed and Lucas smiled as he recalled those days.

Lucas sighed shaking his head. "Those were some...interesting times."

"We didn't know where we would wake up the next morning. Just out living the dream, as if every day was our last. We'd party until the sun came up, go to work, get some coffee and then go back out." He went on as he reflected on the moments. "Those were some damn good times....weren't they?"

"It was a lot of fun, Andrew. With you. But that's all it was. Fun! The best thing that happened for my future..." Lucas looked up at him, his eyes watery. "Was you cheating on me. After that I could reflect on it all, my life and where I was going. I didn't want that. To be thirty, forty! And still going to clubs and just 'having fun'. I wanted something more...I've always wanted more... And then I met Carlson. And we have moved forward; we live life. Not trying to be anyone we're not. And...it's fun! I haven't been this happy sense I've come here. With you I was... content with what I had." He stressed the word. "Content with life. Content with just getting up every day and going through it. But with him...Andrew, with him I'm happy. It's not just 'fun' I can have a life and a future...a family. Something you could never offer me."

"Luke, please. I can change. We can work this out. I have a good stable job now. I don't work as a waiter anymore, I'm even thinking of going back to college. We can have the good old days back." Andrew stood as Lucas was about to leave.

"I don't want the old days. I want a future. Grow up already, Andrew. We're not kids anymore." Lucas voice was emotionless and cold.

"Lucas, I-,"

"This isn't up for discussion, Andrew. I care for you. I do, as much as I want to say otherwise. But the fact of the matter is you hurt me... Carlson hasn't." Lucas blushed a bit recalling their first actual love making. "Emotionally, like you have." He corrected clearing his throat a bit. "Goodbye, Andrew."

Andrew tried again but Lucas shook his head. "It was fun, Andrew, really. I had a blast. But we all have to go our own ways sometimes. Goodbye, Andrew."

Lucas left the sappy bar and grill that had been their first date, a blind date that had led to months of fun and partying. He wasn't getting any younger though and after each night he never felt the gratification he did when he fell asleep and woke up next to that otter. Before it was all just a way to numb the dull emptiness he had inside, with Carlson there wasn't any of that despondency he had felt when he ended up alone or even with someone he had before. He fell asleep happy with the life he had an actually woke up looking forward to the next day. He had never really felt that before in his life. And he could thank that one otter for that.

He flipped his phone open to check his messages, expecting to see Carlson number but it was from Mikey. He sent a reply that he was done. Before he even got to his car he got another text from the ferret.

'Wnt 2 hang out?' The message read.

Lucas looked at the time. He had expected this to drag on throughout the full night and now that it hadn't he had some unplanned free time before he was going to meet Carlson. So he sent back a quick text that he didn't have much time.

He was about to pull out of the parking lot when he got another text, saying that if he had some time it'd be fine. Lucas looked at the time again thinking about it. He didn't want to just head back home and crash for the rest of the night until Carlson got back. Meeting up with Andrew reminded him of the fun times they used to have. Mikey was a friendly enough guy, it had only been a week now sense they had started their texting conversation. He had dropped by once for coffee and the ferret was actually a rather fun guy and it had been a while. The thought lingered long enough for him to send a text to say he'd meet him in a few.

The ferret was outside waving over at him as he pulled into the parking lot. It was a place he never been to, not much of a western styled fan. The cowboy hat had neon lights around it as the badger wearing it grinned widely. He didn't expect Mikey to be a fan but he wasn't about to decline, he always tried to be open about new things. This would defiantly be a new thing.

"What is this place?" Lucas asked as the ferret ran over to join him.

The ferret greeted him warmly with a quick hug. "It's Big Badgers. You've never been here before?" The ferret tilted his head to the side, wiggling his ears in a similar fashion as Carlson did making Lucas smile. He shook his head which only seemed to make the ferret happier. "Good, you want to give it a shot then?"

Lucas shrugged really not sure what to expect as he followed the ferret to the door. Lucas blushed trying to hide it the best he could as the two were greeted by a rather large bull in chaps, boots, a cowboy hat and vest. All over the top and way too Hollywood, but Lucas didn't have the nerve to tell the bull that. The bull regarded him just as much. Lucas tried to look away; the bull was shirtless and built like a bulldozer. A few weeks ago he wouldn't even have taken notice. And now he was aroused by this bull.

"He needs a hat." The bull said gruffly nudging to the coat rack. Lucas could see several different sized and different shaped hats with vests and boots underneath.

"One sec," Mikey said slapping the bull on the back as he went to pick him out a hat.

Lucas didn't want to offend but he had been staring trying to figure out the one question he couldn't keep to himself. "Is that real leather?"

A nearby table cut mid-sentence to look over at him. The bull bent down a bit to get on eye level, he snorted. "Making fun of me, kid?"

"No." Lucas said feeling like a complete jackass but still hoping for an answer before he was pummeled into the ground.

The bull straightened up, adjusting his vest looking down at him. He opened his vest a bit after a second or two, "it's actually a polyfiber that looks and feel like leather." The bull was obviously very impressed with his vest.

"It had me completely fooled!" Lucas laughed as the bull smiled.

"Here have a feel," so Lucas did. "It's top notch. Comes straight from Cali, cost a pretty penny too! Hand embroidered and everything."

"It really is something else," Lucas said letting go. He was sure the bull looked even more proud of it as he straightened it out.

Mikey came back over with a black cowboy hat, with a tiger striped scarf around the brim of it. He also had a vest in his other paw. "Here...did I miss something?" He asked looking between the two.

"Nothing much, see ya' later." Lucas said to the bull as he put on the hat and took of his jacket, which Mikey hung up on the wall where he had grabbed the vest and hat. The ferret even had a spare pair of boots for him to wear.

"Once we're done we'll take them back." Mikey said watching him pull the boots on and kick his shoes to the sides. The second he gained his footing the ferret pulled him into the crowd.

The place was larger than it looked from the outside. The center was made of wood with sandy gravel flooring all around it. Chairs and table were set up around the wooden floor. At the far corner was a wooden stage where several different furs were playing instruments. The place was packed head to toe with furs in similar outfits and designs as what he saw at the door. Some even had leather straps under their shirtless vest. Lucas wasn't exactly sure what he got himself into as the music began to play. He was sure he heard a fiddle somewhere which only sent up warning lights.

The ferret grabbed his side, taking his hand. "Ready?" He asked energetically.

"For what?" Lucas didn't have time to hear the answer as he was swooped around, the ferret led them in a robust western styled dance. Lucas wasn't exactly sure what he was doing but the ferret did and he did his best to keep up with him, being led the whole time. This whole charade was something else, but by half way into the song he was laughing with the ferret who swung him around, pulled him back and quickened his pace.

The boots hurt his feet and he was surrounded by a rather unfamiliar populace and he was having a blast. He laughed as the ferret dipped himself before continuing. Lucas wondered if Carlson would care for a place like this. Or if he could dance for that matter. It hadn't ever come up in conversation. Even if he couldn't this place did have quite an atmosphere to it. Plus he would love to see the otter fumble about trying to keep up with the quick pace. That tail of his could really slow him down at times.

Lucas came back to his senses as the ferret offered him up to another guy. "Mikey," Lucas called as he was basically dragged away by the Doberman.

Mikey had been taken his inexperience into account and had gone easy, the Doberman did not. Lucas kept stepping on his toes and bumping into him, blushing and mumbling apologies. He moved back a bit in order to give the Doberman some room but the strong hand on his side gripped a bit firmer.

"Step back then side, then forward." The dog said with a smile as they switched places. Lucas hadn't even moved as he was hoisted into the air and spun around to be set down again.

"Thanks," Lucas mumbled a bit with blush. The Doberman smiled widely as they got back into it. Lucas easily caught on the repetitive routine. Every time a new step would come up the Doberman would quickly take the lead, spinning him around or taking a few steps back or dip him. Lucas laughed embarrassed about it but amused all the same.

He ended up going through another switch and by the end of it he was worn out. He wasn't exactly a lazy person; he worked out a few times a week even if it was just cardio. But these furs knew what they were doing and hadn't gone easy on him, inexperienced or not. He was sweating a bit by the end of it, although the ram didn't seem to notice or mind. When a more 'couples' song came on, a nice slow beat Lucas backed off and was able to take a much needed break in an empty table.

Mikey joined in a few seconds later, dipping his hat to him. "Partner," he tried to be serious about it but failed half way in and broke into a smile and laughed. "See what did I tell you, it's a hoot and a holler huh?"

"It was...something," Lucas panted. A waitress came up to him tipping her hat. The mare was friendly but spoke with such a thick accent Lucas wasn't able to comprehend the words that were coming out of her mouth.

"I'll have a rattle snake in a jar, with a diet coke please." Mikey said to her. Lucas was thankful that the menu had pictures otherwise he wouldn't have half a clue that Mikey had ordered a chili bowl.

"Um...this one," Lucas said pointing to a basic looking burger and fries.

"Aren't we adventurous," the ferret teased as the mare took their menu's tossing her mane to the side before heading to the next table.

"Sorry, this whole thing isn't my cup of tea." Lucas laughed nervously.

The ferret blinked several times before laughing. "And I thought I spoke silly, that's as funny as a kitten in a wheel barrel."

"You're not western though." Lucas said shooting down the poor ferret's dream of rodeo.

The ferret tipped his hat and leaned on the table lifting an eyebrow. "Come again, par'd'ner."

Lucas rolled his eyes as he popped his phone open. The ferret looked over the table trying to see what he was typing.

"I'm letting Carl know. He might want to join us, if that's alright." Lucas was staring at the screen unable to catch the brief look that came over the ferret's face, his ears folding back and his eyes narrowing. Mikey shrugged leaning back in his seat the next second sipping the diet coke the mare soon gave him. Disgruntledly looking everywhere else but at Lucas.

"You don't mind do you?" Lucas asked shutting his phone. "I doubt he can come, he had plans or something with his brother, I'm not sure." Lucas thought about it. Carlson hadn't exactly been clear with what he was doing which was odd for the otter. But he respected his privacy and knew if it was that big of a concern he'd sooner or later be told about it.

"Oh, well its fine if he does." The ferrets expressed quickly brightened as the hope of the otter not being able to join them arose. Mikey thought it best to continue as they were and deal with any unwanted guests if they showed up.

The two talked away the night. Minutes slipping into hours as they enjoyed their meal. Lucas really did appreciate his company, he reminded him of Carlson in a lot of ways but with several noticeable differences. It was nice for him to be able to make more friends, another fur even. He didn't like cutting himself off from such a large group of individuals. Before he and his friends had always kept their distance not out of distaste or dislike. It just wasn't 'normal' for the two groups to intersect.

Lucas lost his train of thought as the Doberman from before came over and took a seat at their table. "Hey Mikey, who's your friend?" He asked giving Lucas a wink. The dog was one of the particular fellows who had leather straps on, giving his clear well defined muscles little room to breathe as they clung tightly to him. Lucas was intimidated before when it was just the two of them but as the ferret and dog caught up he wasn't sure why he had been. Then again when the Doberman turned to him he could feel that slight tinged of fear come back to him.

"Axel," The Doberman offered a paw which Lucas respectfully took. "Good on you." He rolled in a similar accent that the mare had, though not as thick.

"Nice to meet you too," Lucas said trying to take his hand back as the Doberman kept shaking.

"I haven't seen you 'round these parts," The Doberman leaned in a bit sniffing him a few time. He let go of his hand turning towards the ferret. "Who's the otter?"

Lucas looked down at the table flushing a bit. He didn't realize others could just smell Carlson from him. He would have to make a note of that and try to be a bit more subtle about it. He had taken a shower, worn deodorant and even got some of his spare cloths the otter hadn't been 'kind enough' to musk up for him.

"His boyfriend," the ferret grumbled slumping on the table still not looking at Lucas. Lucas wondered if he had an upset stomach from their meal, he did shovel it down. Another trait the ferret had that reminded him of the otter.

The Doberman turned back to him his ears perking up. "Swingin' in a Mississippi bench with a fur, huh?" His demeanor was friendly enough and Lucas didn't feel any animosity from him as he had from others when they found out.

Lucas shrugged taking a steady breath before continue, the flush draining from his face. "We've been together for about two months now. He's well kind of my best friend and my roomie too." Lucas didn't even realize it before he said it. Carlson really was the best friend he had these days, the thought alone made him a bit giddy.

"That's as sweet as warm honey on an August mornin'." Axel smiled. "I haven't got my teeth on a bone yet," the dog scratched his neck checking out a few others in the bar. "Ol' Cherry got himself a guy anyways." Axel's eyes was on the mare. The gears turned in his head before Lucas got what he meant, he'd never seen a fur drag before but the 'stallion pulled it off rather well he had to admit. Though he sometimes confused the sexes between some of the species as it was.

Lucas laughed at the expression which only made the dog smile a bit more. He scooted closer and the two found themselves in a rather profound conversation over the relationship he found himself in. The dog was modest but blunt. He didn't sugar coat anything, or "sweetin it with a dip in the molasses jar" as Axel put it. A quality that Lucas found unexpectedly, comforting about him. The dog said things as he thought they were or how he saw them. Lucas didn't need to go through the chore of trying to find out what the dog believed in or liked because he just stated how he felt.

Mikey was left out of most the conversation. He'd try to join in with a witty comment or snide remark but was soon washed away as the otter's name came up more and more. The ferret gave up, his head resting on the table as he watched the world around them. This was the last time he was going to go for someone that was in a happy relationship. It was too much work. No matter how much he nitpick the otter, Lucas just seemed to enjoy him more and more. The ferret wondered what it was like to be in a happy relationship like that.

"Ok, ok. What about you and Mikey then?" Lucas asked. The Doberman turned towards the ferret and the two broke into a fit of laughter. The ferret squeaking laugh was soon deafened under the barrel chested Doberman belly shaking, booming laugh.

The dog slapped his knee making Lucas wince. "That's as funny as a kitten in a wheel barrel." Somehow the expression made a lot more sense coming from the Doberman than it had the ferret.

"What makes you think that the two of us would date?" The ferret asked glad to be able to jump back into the conversation. He had a much more upbeat attitude though he still wanted to get Lucas in the sack. It was nice to have him as a friend if nothing else.

"Sorry, sorry. Was stupid and presumptuous of me to think that two single gay men would date." Lucas shrugged with a hint of amusement.

"Two gay furs have to date, huh?" The ferret glared accusingly but the hints of a smile played across the sides of his muzzle.

"Aren't you a bee in a rose bush?" Axel laughed, giving the paw on his thigh a playful squeeze.

Lucas tried not to blush as paw rubbed his thigh. He took his hand and scoop it off, the Doberman didn't seem to mind or be ashamed of his actions. "It has nothing to do with you guys being furs, don't be so shallow."

Mikey's ears fell back and he looked a bit ashamed as Lucas went on. "Fur's and hume's, who the fuck cares. Carlson and me haven't had any real problems over it, sure a thing or two here and there but nothing life changing. I just made the comment because you're both single. Not 'cause your gay or 'cause your furs. I mean I'm getting fucked by one as it is!" He said the last part a bit louder than planned; he slid down in his seat as he was sure half the tables around him heard what he said.

The Doberman winked at him, "I was just playin'."

Lucas laughed a bit, "Sorry it needed to be said I guess."

The three continued the night. Lucas replied to a few texts Carlson sent him trying to get the otter to tag along but he seemed preoccupied with whatever plans he had. Lucas just shrugged it off as he enjoyed the night. The Doberman had convinced him to do another couple songs before Lucas called it quits, the last one being a little too 'intimate' for his taste. He wasn't sure how people could be in a serious relationship and still grind over other guys. He was glad he came out this night nevertheless, making a few friends and doing this whole cowboy thing was kind of fun. Though as he hung up his hat and was taking off his jacket, he couldn't help but wish he could keep the outfit if only for the night. He sent a text to Carlson telling him he was heading home.

"Was fun we'll have to do it again Mikey." He said as the ferret gave him a hug. "Axel, you got my number? Call or text anytime. We'll do something." He found himself face first in the Doberman's chest as he was crushed against in him a big bear hug. The two walked him over to the door. He got a smile from the bull who tipped his hat as he left.

The two were kind enough to follow him out to his car. Kind as in clingy, the ferret chatting up a storm while the Doberman rested a paw on his shoulder. Lucas wasn't surprised to see that the western outfit Axel had on belonged to him. That and the fact he invited him over to his farm for a game of horseshoes kind of gave it away. Lucas said he stop by sometime with Carlson if that wasn't a problem and the Doberman seemed all too happy to host the two. He slapped a big ol' paw on his back nearly making Lucas fall over as he headed off to a rusted old beat up truck. Mikey gave him another quick hug saying they'll have to do it again and Lucas found himself waving them off. He was glad he came out this evening though he wished that otter had tagged along.

Even before he got back to their apartment he knew something was wrong. Carlson hadn't answered his last few texts and as he pulled up into the apartment complex he saw that Carlson's car was there, another odd factor. The otter had always told him when he was home as if begging him to join him. He found that the door was unlocked and all the lights were off. He called down but got no reply. Lucas found the otter sitting on the couch with a beer in paw, he had obviously been crying.

"Hey, bud. Everything alright?" Lucas asked flipping the side light on allowing a dim illumination to the room.

Carlson tone was harsher than he had heard before. "Your late," he grumbled looking at the watch on his wrist for verification.

"I texted you about it," Lucas said as he sat across from the otter in the chair. Carlson was looking down at his paws. He took another sip of the beer without replying. "Is everything alright, Carl?"

The otter tossed his paws into the air and laughed. "Everything's fine! I mean my boyfriend comes home late reeking of a bunch of other guy. What could possibly be the problem?"

"Carl," Lucas tried to keep his tone friendly and even but he was getting defensive about the issue, the otter had previous problems with him seeing others. "I already told you I was hanging out with Mikey. We went to that country place, Big Badger's. It was crazy. It was all old cowboy style and there were dancing and stuff....heh, I wanted you to come along." He laughed a bit but trailed off seeing that the otter was barely listening to him.

The otter grumbled a bit finishing the beer and crushing the can in his paw. He tossed it aside as he got up not even looking at him. "I'm going to bed." Lucas got up to follow but he heard a distinct growl come from him. It was the first time he ever growled at him in such way.

Lucas was going to let it go, to just grab some clothes and leave. Let the otter soak his head before he'd figure out whatever the fuck his problem was. But a nagging feeling inside him made him follow the otter back to the room.

Lucas found Carlson slumped over on the bed face first as he caught up and was in the entryway to the den.

"Carl, what the fuck is your problem today? Is it your time of the month or what!" Lucas tried to keep his voice even. He was hiding something and he was going to pry it out of him but maybe he hadn't used the best way how. You get more flies with honey...that nagging voice told him making him sigh and push back his hair.

"Carl," Lucas began again speaking a lot softer. "What's wrong? You can tell me. This isn't about me going out...is it?" He didn't want to ask but he had to know. He didn't want to be with someone that didn't even let him go out and have his own life. What scared him more was losing the otter though. He'd work this out somehow even if it was about that but he had a nagging suspicion otherwise.

He rested a hand on the otters shoulder. It didn't have the familiar tension to it at his touch. He pushed the otter over a bit to look at him eye to eye. "Carl," Lucas said softly as he saw the tears running down the otters face.

It wasn't long before the otter was crying against his shoulder, squeezing him uncomfortable tight. The lumbering oaf just nuzzled against him harder crying more. Lucas rubbed his back trying to soothe him and get a few audible words out of him. All he could make out was. "Justin. Gone. Jessica.." Lucas held the otter tighter getting the picture.

"I know, love. I know. You'll do something I know you will. I'm here. I'll help in any way that I can, ok?" The otter pulled back and Lucas brushed a hand across his muzzle wiping away a marble sized tear. He cupped the side of his face. "We'll," he stressed the word a bit trying not to be disrespectful by adding himself into it. "We'll get him back."

Carlson nodded a few times before kissing him and nuzzle against him before wrapping his paws around him tightly. "I don't know what I'd do without you Luke." He whined nuzzle him more.

"Me either big guy." Lucas said softly kissing the side of his head. The apartment felt so empty without that otter running about. Lucas just hugged him tighter as he could feel his own tears beginning to run down his face.