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R-Evolution

2: Realization

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Authors Notes:

I'm trying to improve my writing technique and style. Hopefully this second chapter in the story reflects the progress I think I'm making. I spent nearly twice the amount of time on this chapter than I did on chapter one, and I have to admit I'm also much more pleased with the results. I hope you enjoy it! And all feedback will be greatly appreciated.

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Jack pushed open the door and paused, his ears twitching. Allen assumed he must have been checking for any suspicious noises. Curious, Allen stepped into the doorway next to Jack, placing a paw on his shoulder as he commanded his ears to pick up even the faintest of noises. He really hoped Jack wouldn't mind the contact. He realized that with their heightened senses of hearing and smell Jack must have known he was infatuated with him....though he could not understand why.

In his previous life Allen had had a girlfriend. In fact she was almost his fiancée. But a short struggle with breast cancer abruptly ended their promising relationship. He was sure he would never love again, and slowly he shut down until nothing but a shell remained of the elegant man he once was. Feeling he had nothing more to lose he decided to devote his life to science, hoping he would somehow help contribute to the greater good.

When he signed the waver the clinic had presented to him with, he never even bothered to read it. When they interviewed him, he answered all the questions honestly. Most were general health related questions, though there was also a deal of psychological questions. He didn't care what they knew about him, as far as he was concerned, he died the day his love had. Noting in the world could bring her back, so there was nothing in the world he actually cared about. He wondered if perhaps his observed outlook had something to do with his unexplainable attraction to the dark-pelted male wolf. And if that was the case, he wasn't going to let artificial emotions cloud his frame of mind.

Jack slowly averted his gaze to Allen's hand when it came to rest on his shoulder. A somewhat flirtatious expression crossed his face as his eyes traced their way up Allen's arm and to his face. Obviously Jack had no problem with the situation, and Allen flashed him a playful lupine smile in gratitude. However pleased this made him feel inside though, there was still a nagging voice, or perhaps presence, that put a sinking sensation in his stomach. Am I going crazy, he wondered?

"I'm glad you're finally being true to yourself." Jack said quickly, just before planting a fleeting lick on Allen's face.

Allen sighed with a slight chuckle. He wanted to say that he was actually appalled by the situation and get as far away from Jack as he could. But then, that warm feeling of affection was hard to pass bye. "I thought you may have caught on." He said, forcing himself to smile.

Jack tapped the side of his head with a finger. "Years of practice." He said, in a point of fact tone. His face never lost that pleasant gaze he was directing at Allen.

Allen wondered what he meant by "years of practice." Was he a psychiatrist in his other life? Jack certainly seemed to have an understanding about things, whatever the case. He was just getting ready to toss the question Jacks way when Jack stepped into the next room.

He shook the questions from his mind and hurried after Jack.

The doorway opened up into a hallway. It was just more of the same thing. Everything was white like the rest of the place, and there were about a dozen doors scatter down the hall's length. "Is there nobody here?" Allen wondered, not even realizing he said it out loud.

Jack was making faces and fidgeting again. Allen easily read the expressions and could tell he was analyzing the situation. Allen was content to watch him think for a while before having an thought himself.

"Jack?"

"Hm?" Jack still distracted by his thoughts.

"If this place is really automated now....shouldn't there be a server room of sorts?"

Jack's gaze finally focused on Allen as his words sank in. A second later his ears perked up and his eyes lit up. "Yes!"

Allen grinned, feeling helpful again. He knew a bit about hacking. He spend nearly 2 years employed at a shady tech support company and became very skilled at getting information other people wanted kept secret. Allen eyed the hallway and all its doors thoughtfully. "I doubt a server or control room would be located along a stretch like this."

For a moment it looked like Jack was seriously considering saying something. His look soon changed though and his eyes wondered up to Allen's. "So, I've been in the company of a geek!" He chuckled. "I would have never guessed."

Allen rolled his eyes. He knew what this was..... Jack was..... was flirting with him! He felt that sinking sensation of repulse filled his stomach again, a feeling he was getting tired of experiencing. And why was it that if you had more than the basic knowledge of computers people assumed you were a geek....or nerd. "I'm not a geek." He said flatly. True, he did enjoy working on them, gaming with them, and occasionally hacking into the most expensive porn sites, but he also had an amazing personal life. Well he did before she..... He didn't allow himself to finish that thought.

What's happened to me, he thought. What would she say if she could see what I've become... or the reasons behind it all? He stared at his hands... no... paws, and then at his feet. The sinking feeling slowly being replaced by a stinging sensation, one of guilt mixed with sadness. He couldn't let himself be infatuated with Jack, it was wrong on so many levels! Allen didn't realize it, but his face was betraying his emotional status.

Jack began looking very worried by the way Allen seemed to be having a mental argument with himself. His face dropped when he realized he may have offended ore even hurt his friend by his careless words. "I didn't mean it as an insult!" He blurted out, seeming unsure as to weather that was the appropriate thing to apologize for. The look Allen shot back at him, one of disapproval and scorn, said more than the words that followed.... His body twitched, and then slumped, the change wasn't that noticeable to Allen, but Jack knew what was coming next, and he was crushed.

The white wolf rolled his eyes again, the gesture inadvertently softening his scornful stare. "Look Jack, I consider us friends, but I would very much appreciate it if you would stop trying to flirt with me! I don't like you that way, and frankly, it's making me uncomfortable." Jack's eyes seemed to glaze over. Allen worried that he had raised his voice too much. "Now please help me look for the computer room."

The words had hurt him even as they passed his lips, and they clearly devastated Jack. He had been so worried about his own feelings he had completely set aside the feelings he had helped cultivate in his friend. But what he said needed to be said, and hoped Jack would understand the reasons on his own terms.

Jack turned around without a word, and headed to the second nearest door. "And I didn't mean to sound so mean...." Allen added trying to sound friendly, "I just really don't feel like myself...... and..... we have only known each other for the better part of 2 hours." It looked like Jack nodded in reply to his words.

Perking his ears and swishing his tail, Allen headed over to the nearest door. Though it wasn't likely they might as well check all the rooms just be sure. Hopefully they'd find a blueprint or schematic as they searched.

The door greeted him with a metallic creak as he opened it. Within there was noting but another empty, all white room. There was some discoloration of the floor tiles where it looked like office cubicles once sat. The plain walls held nothing. He sniffed at the room hoping his nose might pick up on something his eyes were missing. What he noticed though wasn't at all related to the room, but it did bring that all too familiar sinking sensation back into his gut.

What Allen had noticed was that the dark wolf's scent had begun to fade. And for reasons unknown, this troubled him.... Deeply. And it bothered him that he was troubled. He knew there was no logical reason for it; he had never once desired to be with another male, especially one whom he really knew nothing about. Yet in his mind he knew Jack as a friend, and as something else, though he couldn't quite put a word to what it was. He figured it must be a result of the feral wolf instincts fused with his human mind.

Regardless of the cause, and feeling fickle beyond belief, Allen decided to set his emotional agitation aside for a while. She would understand, wouldn't she? She would want him to try to be happy instead of mourning her death for the rest of his life wouldn't she? And Allen really wanted to feel happy. Wolves, he knew, were pack animals, so maybe he just desired to be part of Jack's clan. It was a starting point right? All the questions, he knew, were just a way to justify his feelings, but even so, it was helping.

And what if things between them happened to go beyond "pack-mates?" Who would it upset? Jack seemed to be exhibiting similar feelings towards him, and even if it was freakish, he really didn't want to be alone again. Maybe that's what this was really about....until the moment he saw Jack lying in that pool of slimy liquid, he had felt very much the same as he did before the procedure. That look of pure happiness he received from Jack as he looked up at him for the first time had filled his heart with pure warmth. Yes warmth, a feeling he had not felt in so long. A feeling, he decided, he wasn't willing to surrender just yet, not again.

Yes, that look on Jack's face, that same look he could barely remember now. It went beyond just being happy to see someone, it was one of knowing. He hadn't really noticed it up until now, but Jack did act more like a life-long friend than the stranger he thought he was. Could there be something he was missing?

Allen turned around, and yelped in surprised as he came muzzle to muzzle with Jack who had his lips drawn back in a threatening snarl, his eyes burning with anger. Allen would have fallen back if his back hadn't been so close to a wall. He pressed himself against it, trying to pull himself as far away as he could. He had seen a rabid dog before, but this.... This made him feel like he was already dead.

Jack suddenly froze, a look of terror sweeping over him. Allen tried to play down the shock as Jack's uncomfortably close face became less menacing, but his heart continued to race in his chest. Allen tried to think of something to say, but the terror he still felt would not allow speech. And why didn't he realize Jack was right there? He had just smelled him getting further away!

Jack continued to stare, now looking completely petrified of his friend, as if expecting capital punishment to be delivered to him.

Finally Allen got his tongue to work. "How long were you standing behind me?" He demanded. His voice brewing with fear mixed with anger.

Jack's eyes went wide.

"Just a couple seconds, I......I didn't mean to scare you!" He pleaded, his apologetic voice laced with sadness.

Despite his anger, and still in shock from the fear, the dark colored wolf's response, or the broken voice he said it in, stung like pins and needles down Allen's spine and into his tail.

Allen's face slowly unraveled after being so tightly twisted in a surprised scowl.

Jack stared down at his feet. "I checked all the rooms.....and you were still standing there..... I wasn't going to do anything....." His voice was getting quieter until it was nothing more than a whisper. "...I ...don't ...think... I... Oh, god!"

Jack turned around and slumped against the wall, sliding down until he was sitting uncomfortably on his tail. "I'm sorry." His empty voice wavered, never looking back up at Allen. "I realize how.....how......" His voice wavered. "I'm not meaning to be..... clingy....." Jacks body twitched a couple times and Allen realized he was fighting back tears.

A disturbing sensation of guilt, fear, and sadness washed over him. He had no idea Jack had been in such emotional turmoil too. How could he have thought the guilt, fear, shame, and disgust mixed with feelings of love and happiness belonged to only him?

Allen slumped down next to Jack and hesitantly put an arm around his shoulders. Jack tried to pull away, so Allen wrapped his other arm around his now sobbing friend and hugged him tightly. The pain from knowing his friend was in pain added to his own until tears were also running down his face and soaking into his fur.

The minutes ticked by until Allen spoke. "It's alright." He caressed the fur on Jack's head hoping his friend would find comfort in the gesture. Jack didn't say anything but his sobbing seemed to let up a little.

"No." Jack chocked. "It's not alright. I was going to.....I had the urge to.... to.... hurt you..."

Allen grimaced at the dark wolf's words. That certainly explained the angry, horrifying face. He didn't know why, but even knowing that Jack had wanted to hurt him didn't change the way he felt about him. And actually, he probably deserved to have been slapped around after absentmindedly toying with Jack's emotions like he did. At least he hadn't been bounding back and forth from one extreme to the other all day.

"But you didn't." Allen reassured him in the most caring way he could muster.

"I think I was gong to though!"

"Why?" Allen stopped rubbing his friend's head. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

Jack tensed up. "I think....."

Allan broke the intimate embrace only leaving his arm rapped around Jacks shoulders. He squeezed Jack towards him slightly and gently rocked side to side a few times. There was a part of him that was appalled at what he was doing, but Allen knew that part of him just didn't understand.

"You can tell me." He whispered into Jack's ear. Desperately attempting to re-gain the trust he felt he had violated so thoughtlessly. Though he wondered just how much trust they could have built up in only a couple hours.

"I don't really understand it all," Jack explained, his voice still not clear. "But I think it was because..... I knew you were annoyed with me, that you have been since.....for awhile. I think I was afraid you were going to..... banish me from you, and suddenly..... the feelings..... started to rise up."

Allen took a moment to really think about what his friend had just told him. It all seemed consistent with his own feelings, or at least in part. So Jack's mind was indeed also having issues dealing with the instincts of the wolf.

"I wasn't even supposed to be like this!" Jack held out his paws so he could stare at them in contempt.

Allen didn't know what to do, or what to say to the feelings his dark friend just expressed. He hadn't seen any clues that would have suggested Jack hated his new form so. From what he had seen, he had just carried on without giving it even a second glance after his first uncomfortable stare down. So, unable to say anything helpful he just sat there, mouth open, but saying nothing.

It looked like Jack understood the speechlessness of his friend, and continued with an explanation.

"You may not have realized it....." Jack continued. "But before I heard you're voice.... I was going to kill myself." Allen stayed quiet, but listened intently. "You see, I used to work here......" From the look on his face he was obviously torn between saying what he wanted to say, and just saying enough. He let out a long sigh and slowly determination crept over him. "I not only worked here, but I was the senior engineer. We were to the point in the project where we were already signing up the first batch of test subjects. You were one of those.

"It was the morning of our first commercial testing and by some strange coincidence a random string of code on the screen caught my eye...... It turned out that this was the code that would end my life as I knew it. I'll spare you the details, but what this meant was that the perfect blending of the species we thought we had accomplished was not as.... permanent..... as we had believed the last 5 years. Nature is a powerful force, and any sane person should know better than to toy with it, especially on a genetic level.

Allen nodded.

"So after further investigation and several hundred hours worth of simulations, I had proof that while the body may be able to mesh, the minds of both species would exist together, turning each and every human-wolf hybrid into a schizophrenic.... only the voices wouldn't be imaginary. You can feel it can't you?" He gestured toward Allen.

Allen glanced around nervously then nodded again.

"I can too..... But that's not the end of it. Before I demanded that the plug be pulled and all the money to our clients be refunded, one of the others suggested a flawed but possible fix. He suggested we use a form of imprinting to help the minds feel more unified. This wasn't the type of imprinting a baby makes with its mother.... I don't remember the specifics, but it has something to do with the wolves' pack behavior and meshing it with the human perception of love and family.

"From a logical standpoint it was brilliant, but from a human standpoint, the theory was far from acceptable. Anyone who didn't have their heads up their own ass realized it would never work.

"The next day, all of us who were opposed to the new direction of the project were 'fired.' I was knocked out by security on my way out the door. I imagine the same happened to the others. I came too some time later, but I was heavily sedated and only remember the bright lights and ghostly figures above me. Aside from a few scrambled memories from within the glass womb, that was the last thing I can remember.... up until you found me."

"So I made you change your mind about....." Allen stammered, not knowing how to properly ask the question. Jack cut him off.

"I knew that alone there was no hope for me, the mental modifications, if left unsatisfied, would quickly lead to the two minds battling with each other for dominance until one killed the other.... and even if the human side won.... it would be so shattered at that point.....

"I wasn't going to live like that!"

Allen nodded again. "I think I understand."

"The moment I heard your voice I felt something click within me, and I think I now know what happened.... That moment an invisible bond was made, and our feral minds bound us together as a pack of sorts. Our human minds reacting to the binding in a slightly different way, but one that would not upset the feral mind..... This is my theory anyway, but it would definitely explain a thing or two if it is true."

Allen couldn't believe what he'd just been told. It wasn't so much that he thought Jack's words were false, it's just that everything he said -his theories- seemed dead on. Suddenly everything made sense. The reasons for the internal quibbling explained. And just knowing he really wasn't crazy after all put him at ease. Yes, he finally felt comfortable he could finally ask: "So..... the reason I'm uncontrollably attracted to you is because my animal mind believes you to be my pack-mate and this translates into.....what? Love to my human mind?"

"In a nutshell, yes." Jack sounded pleasantly surprised.

Jack fidgeted with his paws as he pondered the situation a bit further. "I think that's also why I wanted to attack you. When I thought you were going to expel me from the pack, the anger and instinct fused.... I was still in control, but just barely...... I....." He sighed. "I would understand if you want to have nothing to do with me though."

Allen looked at him with sad eyes, ashamed that Jack would even propose the idea that he was cruel enough to do that! "It wasn't your fault." He squeezed Jack's shoulder reassuringly.

Jack was soon fighting off tears again, engulfed in his conflicting emotions. "How can you say that...." He whispered.

The answer Allen responded with, took his breath away. Allen shut his eyes and while wrapping his arms around Jack again, he very slowly pressed his muzzle against Jack's. The sensation sent chills down his spine, and Allen felt Jack's fur ruffle under his embrace.

Within seconds Jack parted his lips and Allen wasted no time in exploring the warm, moist insides of the dark wolf's mouth. He probed with his long tongue savoring the sensation of his friend's dancing with his own. The sharp edges of Jack's teeth along with the otherwise soft interior just aroused him all the more. Jack eventually slipped his tongue into Allen's mouth and Allen moaned with pleasure. This is what he had been longing for, and now that he knew why, he was finally able to surrender to the desire.

Allen caressed Jacks face, as he tried to probe deeper into his friend. Part of his mind was still appalled at what he was doing, but it wasn't enough to convince the rest of his mind that it was wrong. He wondered if Jack was feeling the same thing, and hoped he was getting as much pleasure out of this warm sticky moment as he was.

Finally the two broke their kiss as they ran out of air. They sighed as filled their lungs again. Jack leaned in for another kiss, but Allen stopped him by gently placing his finger over his lips. Allen didn't want him to worry about ending the experience, so he wasted no time in dropping his head down and licking the now fully exposed, and very erect lupine member between Jack's legs. This, he figured as he quickly glanced at his own hard animal cock, answered the human or wolf genitalia question.

Jack moaned with lust and appreciation, as Allen continued to tease him. Licking the sensitive tip then engulfing its full 7 inches and knot until Allen knew he was on edge. He withdrew his lips from his friend's penis for a few seconds, and then when he heard Jack whimper for more, he wrapped his tongue around Jack's pulsing cock and swallowed. The sensation of the Allen's contracting oral muscles sent spasms through Jack's body, and with a deep and feral howl, released wave after wave of lupine seed into Allen throat. Allen hastily devoured the strange tasting fluids, glad that he had been brave enough to do something so bold, despite his better judgment. He continued to caress Jack's knotted member with his tongue as Jack slowly came back from afterglow.

"Allen," Jack moaned, practically glowing. "That was......the most..... amazing thing I think I've ever felt." Allen allowed Jack to pull him into another embrace and kissed him tenderly. Slowly the dark wolf's paws felt their way over the light one's body. Savoring every shape of every finely toned muscle. The paws made their way down his back, across his sides, down his stomach, and finally to his eager lupine shaft. Allen, whose eyes had been shut during the kiss, suddenly opened them with an expression of surprise.

"You really didn't think I would forget about you?" Jack whispered temptingly into the light wolf's ear. "Lay down, I'll take care of the rest."

With no desire to resist, Allen lay on his back and watched with anticipation as Jack's muzzle approached his throbbing member. Jack let his tongue loll out and slowly licked from the base of Allen's knot, up the shaft, and swirled it around his tip. The pent up forces controlling his nether region was too great to contain. Just a few succulent laps from Jack's tongue and he was there. A deep resonating whimper, almost like a hum echoed from the lightly colored wolf just as his seed exploded across Jack's muzzle and pelt. Allen melted as he bathed his senses in the satisfying feeling.

Jack quickly lapped up the precious fluids his long tongue could reach and then lay down on top of Allen. Allen nuzzled his friend's neck and helped lick off the remaining semen on his pelt. The light wolf just lay there, enjoying the embrace of his friend....no..... the embrace of his lover. He had never imagined he'd experience the bond of love again, but here it was staring him in the face. Now, despite the lingering muffled voice of protest, he wished that this moment.... and this feeling would never be able to leave him again.