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Everyone, including the football players, were waiting in the conference room, sitting in the seats with the other slutty cheerleaders, whom each had a mutation of HIV. You know what I'm sayin'? The cough...the conference room was filled with furs: murderers, parents, presidents, avatars, Leonardo di Caprio, Mario Lopez, the elites from Halo 3 or whatever that stupid head shit 3 is...they even had the old-fashioned version of the Backstreet Boys before everyone found out Lance was gay. And then they would shout...and then they were shot by the soccer team for being too ugly "Alright," said a voice behind the curtains, "the moment you have all been waiting for. The talent show!" said the principal as he walked onto the stage. No one clapped as he paused and waited for their clapping. The principal then said, "Well, fuck all of you! First up: a poet."

A short, yet husky skunk then got up from his seat and walked up onto the stage. His name was Edgar, and no one clapped for him since they knew he was an ass. Only one fur clapped for him, but that fur was a pedophile, so no one really cared about Edgar, which would show that I'm a little hubba hubba looua. Anyway, Edgar then took a bow, and then walked up to the microphone. He smiled at all the furries in the audience, then he looked over at the principal, giving him a wink and smile. The principal then flipped Edgar the bird, since he knew Edgar was up to something. Edgar then looked back at the audience and recited his poem...

_ _

"There was once a principal who was an ugly son of a bitch.

Everyone hated him. He was ugly. And a bitch.

This ugly motherfucker was such an ugly bitch

That he could make a witch

Look as cute as the alien Stitch.

Holy fucking testicles was this man an ugly son of a bitch.

Just looking at him would make any fur's eyes twitch.

He could make a girl scream at an unreal pitch

With his looks that make him an ugly little bitch.

I hated this man, not because he was a snitch,

But because he was really an ugly son of a bitch!

Sometimes I would hide away in an underground ditch

Just to hide from the face of that ugly son of a bitch.

Son of a bitch was he an ugly son of a bitch!

His face is ugly. That ugly son of a bitch,

He could make so many furs switch

The direction they walk just to walk away from the ugly bitch.

He once made my eye have a bad itch

Because it couldn't make sense of why he was an ugly bitch..."

_ _

"Thank you." said the skunk as he jumped down from the stage onto the ground, running away while stripping off his clothes. The pedophile then got up and ran after him. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBnd_U2IxpQ&t=0m7s) Everyone in the crowd was laughing. Some were in tears, other were just dead from lizard dick poisoning. PINGAS. (http://www.infinitelooper.com/?v=e2gpuwRl4ZU#/2;4)

"Give me a moment, please. I'll be right back, I'm going to take a piss," said Marvin, and he started pissing his pants again, dripping urine onto the colored carpet. The police below had just finished apprehending the bum that had run off with the infant crocodile's body, which was covered with sweat. The police then entered the school, trying to find Marvin. "Alright, I'm back. We continue your dictation right...here." He continued his story.

Everyone in the crowd was shocked at such a heartfelt speech, though they quickly began laughing. The principal was the one who was most in shock since, honestly, it was about him, but no one was expecting that...because, I mean, they were, but they weren't. They were all crazy, but they didn't know the other fur was crazy.

"It's a fucky town, alright? Give me a break. BUUUUUUUUURRRP!" burped Marvin. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_Wgs3w7kpk)

Alright, back on the story. The principal then made his way onto the stage, and just...stood there for a couple of moments, trying to...trying to accept that stupid, long-ass speech. "Okay," said the principal, "next up, Jonathan the monkey, with his ability to juggle." Everyone applauded as Jonathon began to walk onto the stage. They all hoped it would have been better than the last hilarious act. So he started walking onto the stage, holding a unicycle in one paw and a banana in the other. He then threw the banana onto the stage. He then gave a bow to everyone in the crowd, trying to show that he was a respectful monkey. Bitch.

He then pulled out a random newspaper from his pocket, dropped his pants, and started taking a dump on the ground. Everyone was disgusted, except his mom, who was taking pictures of the whole fucking thing. "He makes me so proud," said his mom. "SHUTUP YOU UGLY BITCH!" said one of the football players. (http://trollosphere.legtux.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Troll-Face-4efef98405000.png) Some of the furries started yakking, but they didn't throw up. They wanted to...but it just wasn't...it wasn't time, yet. Alright. Jonathan then picked up his steaming pile of dung, sat up on his unicycle, and started riding around. He broke his shit into three pieces and stared juggling his shit. He was actually pretty good.

"Give me a moment while I take my medicine," said Marvin. He reached around in his pockets for his flask, but he had already run out of juice and had tossed it at the adorable kitten earlier, so then he yelled out some cuss words and continued the story.

Like I was sayin', he was juggling his shit. HE WAS JUGGLING HIS SHIT while riding around in a unicycle. He was actually pretty good. He had the crowed entertained for a moment, although they were sort of disgraced by the sense of coprophilia that was associated with his talent. But then, his unicycle wheel went over the banana which he happened to place...which was just randomly happened to placed on the stage...beforehand, although that was planned by him. He tripped on the banana with his unicycle, he fell to the ground. You know what he did? As he fell towards the ground, he threw the pieces of shit towards the crowd: one hit his mother, whom quickly put the shit into a ziplock back for keeping a beloved memory, the second one hit one of the cheerleaders who sooned rubbed the shit around in her because she liked the earthy scent, and the last piece landed a few inches from Lyle. He quickly rubbed his face in relief since he wasn't hit by the shit. One of the football players then got up to pick up the shit and rub Lyle's face with it, but then the tripped on Lyle's tail and fell face-first into the shit. He then wiped his face, looked around, and then ran off, crying like a little bitch.

Jonathan then stood up on the stage, after the fall, and picked up his unicycle. He then placed the seat in front of his face and started licking it, tasting the warm shit that had seeped from his butthole. There were lots of traces of shit all over the unicycle seat left. He then started walking away. No one applauded for him out of confusion and shock of what had just happened. They were appalled.

The principal then came up on the stage...and then he said, "Okay...for our next part of the talent show, here comes...her name is Arthurette. Arthurette Itis." Only half of the crowd clapped because the other half were still worried about the shit that fell on their faces. One kid was laughing because it sounded like her name was arthritis.

"And then...sorry, Balto was responding...okay, where was I? Alright..." muttered Marvin. The police were now on the same floor as this man was in the building, so he was running out of time. He continued his story.

So, next was Arthurette, the magician. She happily ran up onto the stage, noticeably excited. She then held out both of her arms and began her magic trick.

This was her trick: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8kOQ2zvBfU)

After the trick, she just walked away. Everyone was appalled and confused at the lack of creativity in the act. They didn't know what to say...or even to think. Everyone then got up onto their feet and gave her a standing ovation. Wow, that was amazing to them. Those dumbasses. They were all crazy, anyway. Bitches. The principal the walked up onto the stage, "Alright, everyone," he said, "next up...we have Kasey the kitten." Everybody loved Kasey. He was such a funny guy. He was...he wasn't really popular, but because of his furry, kind-heartedness, he was a spiritual in the Wiccan religion...everybody liked this nigga'. He was still crazy. Everyone was crazy, except Lyle. He was the only normal one there.

So then Kasey walks out onto the stage, pushing a television that was sitting on top of a stand with wheels. He then pops in a DVD and starts playing a video of Paula Deen show. You know, Paula Deen, that lady...old lady with the white hair? You know what I'm talking about. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zs5aViUsNfY) So then Kasey drops his pants, grabs his dick, and starts wanking. The crowd is appalled. You know what his talent was? Kasey then shouted out, "In case you haven't figured out...my talent is that despite what an ugly bitch Paula Deen is, I'm still going to be able to whack off and cum to this nigga'." That was his talent. That his talent...his talent was to somehow manage to get turned on by Paula Deen. And he did. He wanked off so hard that he managed to cum all over the television screen...and he did. Most of the furs were puking, some of the furs were laughing, and others were just wanking off to his wanking. It was a wankfest, nigga'. WANK. FEST. NIGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! Cum was flying all over the conference room. It was going tothe window, to the wall, 'till the sweat drops off their balls. Just like the song. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dl8X7fqOUQo)

"And so they...I, eh...I just said what happened to the audience..." uttered Marvin. The police were walking towards his classroom. They then got a call by the chief to get over to a bank that was being robbed. They got into an argument with the chief, an argument that would give Marvin enough time to get a few more moments of story out. So he continued.

While half of the audience was wanking and skeeting, the other half started throwing vegetables at him. Cabbages, tomatoes...one of them even...managed...they threw a Nokia phone...hit him square on the head and knocked his ass out. He then had to be pulled out by the principal since he was knocked unconscious. "Alright, next up: a pair of characters. Ariel and Veronica!" Characters, indeed. One of them was a male wolf dressed up as a dick, the other was a vixen dressed up as a vagina. They walked up onto the stage and began their routine...

DICK: Don't make such an ass of yourself, you're already a few inches away from one.

VAGINA: I only act like an ass because you treat me like one. Hell, I bet you sometimes like to fuck with asses too.

DICK: Do you ever do anything useful besides marketing for fish perfume?

VAGINA: If only your head had a brain.

DICK: At least I don't have to sit down for everything, you lazy bitch.

VAGINA: Why do you have to be so hard headed?

DICK: For being such a pussy, you seem to tighten up when my feet are knocking at your door.

VAGINA: The only time you toughen up is when you're blowing off steam.

DICK: Why don't you just shut up and eat me alive?

VAGINA: Why don't you just wrap yourself in a couple of fingers and suffocate yourself?

DICK: Don't you call me a Richard Cranium!

VAGINA: Don't you call me a fish!

They then started a violent fight. The boy and girl were furious. They were fighting, they were FURIOUS, they were mad...even though it was a joke, but they somehow got upset. The fight was broken up by various teachers in the audience, although it was hard to break up the fight with all of the cum on the stage from the last...inspiring...performance. The principal then walked up onto the stage and said, "Well, I'm glad I don't make an ass of myself for fun...anyways, next up...we have Elijah Boston." His name was Elijah Boston. Boston. Elijah Boston. Nigga'. He was one of the popular kids, you know what I'm sayin'?

"Give me a second while I respond to this nigga'..." he then turned to his imaginary secretary and yelled, "IT'S CALLED A VAGINA! VAGINA!" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcQCcYkLMzU) He then continued his story.

Alright...so this name...I don't remember the name I said...he started singing the song Grenade, by Bruno Mars. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jOn5CAsq2A) He captivated the whole audience with his voice. They even started to give him a standing ovation. He then pulls out a live grenade while singing and then pulls the pin, clutching the grenade to his heart. After about three seconds, then damn thing explodes and kills him, nearly setting the curtains behind him on fire. The fire was quickly put out by the furries who were still wanking. They put out the fire with their cum. How heroic. :D

Everyone was still appalled by what he did...and with the explosion. He killed himself for a fricken' talent show. What an idiot! Then the principal walked out onto the stage, stepping on some of Elijah's bloody remains...

"Give me a minute..." said Marvin, as he pissed his pants again. Two of the three children then ran off, not able to stand the odor of the urine any longer. A small female raccoon was the only child left in the room, though one could say Marvin was acting a bit childish, haha. The two kids saw the police outside the classroom, arguing among one another, and then they sneaked around to avoid them. Marvin continued his drunken story.

Alright, so everyone was appalled by the explosion. The principal came out...and then said, "Alright, we're only gonna have one more talent because we can't afford to have another mishap. I mean, really, those curtains are expense. Last up, Lyle the lion." Lyle then took a deep breath and walked up onto the stage. He then started jump roping with this tail. Everyone just started watching him for a moment, as if amazed and bewildered by such an act. They were idiots. Everyone was crazy, except Lyle. He didn't know what to expect. Everyone was amazed. They quickly started clapping for unknown reasons. They...he won the competition, pretty much, because everyone liked it. You know, it was one of those kind of competitions where everyone gets into a row, except the guy who sung the Grenade song, and then the principal holds up a handkerchief, well, he used his mother's old wooden dildo since he couldn't find his handkerchief, over each fur's head, and the winner was determined by the one who received the most applause. Lyle was the one with the most applause, so then he won the trophy. The trophy was the torso of a lizard that was used for making cheesy lizard dick for lunch. Lyle was excited, despite the odd trophy. He was really happy; you know what I'm saying, cuz'? Everyone was happy. Everyone was happy. SO THEN...he just walked away from the stage. He felt proud of himself as he heard the applause.

"He was given...he said, uh...he was a given a trophy by THE WHOLE SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!! I'm sorry for that. He was given a trophy by the school. Yeah. He was given a trophy by the school..." muttered Marvin. The police overheard the yell and were now on their way to his classroom. The little raccoon girl then started opening her mouth in awe. She had listened to the whole story and took it to heart. Marvin continued his story.

From then on, he was respected by EVERY FUCKING FURRY in the school. Everybody loved him for it. Even the nerds, the black panthers, the football players...because they couldn't win. The talent show also consisted of a secret prize of three hundred dollars, so Lyle bought some ne...he bought a lot of clothes, wore them all the time, never showered because of them couldn't smell, anyway...he felt like he was ALL THAT. One day, as Kyle...not Kyle, as Lyle was walking through his school, someone asked him, "Hey, aren't you the guy who was in the talent show? You were pretty good." Lyle then responded, "Yeah, I was so good, yo' mama slept with me last night." And then the other student responded, "Hey, my mother is dead." Lyle retorted, "Well, I guess that explains why she didn't complain too much, BITCH!" And then Lyle walked away. The student was actually joking around about his mother--his mother was still well alive, but the thing was that Lyle didn't give a damn. He was finally a part of the school, he was finally something, he was finally cool; you know what I'm sayin' cuz'? So yeah, that's the story.

Lyle then learned from then out that you shouldn't worry about what other people think. You should only worry about what other people think, because what you think is what's gonna depend...what's gonna determine the rest of your life, nigga'. What you think about is gonna determine the rest of your life. Whatchu' do is gonna determine the rest of you life. This was a city full of crazy people. He knew that he needed to move away...he knew that, but his only option was to turn...to attend this school because he had no other choice. So yeah, that's it. Thank you.

Lyle then started jacking off in front of everyone else. Everyone loved it. He then went to lunch, stole someone's lizard dick and started shoving it into a cheerleader's mouth, making her give the lizard dick a blow job. Everyone loved it and started jacking off, cumming all over the cafeteria. Everyone loved it except the janitor because he was a little bitch, nigga'. He then took a shit right in front of everyone in the...in the locker room for football practice. Everyone was disguised...then they fought over it to see who could eat it, because they were crazy like that.

"Alright, I'm gonna add a few more things...because I'm drunk."

He...he wasn't a...eh...he was the worst football player who ever lived. He sucked. He tried to be linebacker--I don't even know what a linebacker is--but he just sucked at it. He sucked at it! He did...he didn't even know what he was doing, but they forgave him because he won the talent show and he won respect for doing his tail jump rope shit. Bitch. Now, the moral of the story is...no matter where you're from...no matter whatchu' do, it doesn't matter who you are...the only thing that matter is that what you tell yourself. The bow...the bound...the limits you set for yourself. Always try to be the limit you set for yourself, because the sky is the limit, and if you can beat the sky, you're high, and not with drugs.

"Thank you, everyone. Goodnight." Marvin Felder finally passed out, and then police walked in and started inspecting the room. It stank of urine and alcohol. The little raccoon girl then got angry as the police began to try and pick Marvin up. She was inspired by his story and then started doing this kung-fu shit, beating up all the police. She then left the police in a pile on the floor, and walked up to Marvin, giving him a kiss on the lips. She then pulled down his pants and gave him a wedgie. "Loser!" she yelled at him. She then jumped out the window, landing on her feet and she scampered off into the night, ready to wreak havoc. She would later in the years get a sex change, buy a blue sweater, a blue hat, and enter a life of crime.

That's how Sly Cooper came to be.

The end.....?