FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

'So yeah, things are official between David and me since a month...' 'How'd he respond...?' 'Startled, haha... But it was just so sweet to see his reaction when I first kissed him...' 'Hehehe... Hm... I'm happy for you, Sam... I really am...' 'Thanks... I'll just plan to take it slow with him...' 'And you should. David knows about it, doesn't he?' 'Knows what...?' 'About your, uhm... tendencies...?' 'Oh...! Uh... Yeah, he does, which... makes him kinda nervous...' 'Is he okay with it? I mean... You, having it off with another girl...?' 'Hm-mm... Yeah, he is...' 'Then just do whatever feels right... No one is stopping you from doing it...' 'Well, that's the thing... I don't just want to sleep with any girl... I mean... You know...? It's still a bit of a touchy subject for me...' 'I know...' 'Terry still doesn't know about you...? That you're bi...?' 'No, he doesn't...' 'I just don't understand why you're not telling him, Ceylan... I mean, don't you miss it?' 'To be honest, no... Not really... I'm actually starting to think if I'm really bi-sexual... I mean, I used to look at girls from a total different perspective but ever since I've been with Terry, those feelings became lesser...' 'What about sex...?' 'Hm... Once Terry and I became intimate with each other, it just stopped... I don't feel as if I need to be intimate with girls anymore... And well... Perhaps it really was just a stage I was going through... I got so confused about my sexuality over the years but all of that seemed to have vanished in thin air, just like that... Being intimate with Terry was difficult because having sex with girls was the only thing I knew... And everything just changed so all of a sudden...'

I came home that evening at around eleven o'clock where I called Samantha to talk to her. It's been a week since I've talked to her so we had a lot to catch up. And that night, Sam told me that David, a guy she fancied and her had a relationship going on for a month now. She mentioned it before but never "confirmed" the two of them were together. But unlike me, Sam still had these funny feelings about girls... Samantha always had the feeling her bi-curious tendencies was just a phase she was going through but I didn't felt the same anymore. To me, I always thought that I was bi. But it had me doubting ever since Terry and I have been intimate together. The longer I thought about it, the more I started to think that it really was just a phase... Samantha and I talked about it sometimes, whenever we felt the need to. And it felt good to have shared it with someone who is experiencing the same. It's because the two of us had the feeling that we could be open and honest about what we were feeling... It's because I was the only one Samantha could talk to about it... 'Heh...' 'I don't want to drive myself crazy and think about it too much... That happened a lot in the past... Right now, everything is going so great between Terry and me and I get the feeling that I don't have to bring it up because I don't have those feelings anymore... And to be honest, it only makes things more easier for me... It's a lot less confusing...' 'Yeah... But I mean... Doesn't it feel weird for you...? Because I had that with David when we first... Well, you know...' 'Sex? Well yeah, of course it felt weird for me. But you know, you were right. It wasn't really that any different... And so far it's been very enjoyable with him...' 'Hehehehe...' 'Whoa, whoa, back up a little... You what??' 'What? What is it?' 'Your first time??' 'Yeah...?' 'Oh my God, you're no longer a virgin...!' 'Technically, I still am...' '... How's that even possible?' 'Uhm... I'm not telling.' 'Haha, why not?!' 'Because it's fucking embarrassing, that's why!' 'Come on, you know me, Sam...' 'There are other ways, you know...' '... He's butt-fucking you??' 'Uhm...'

I nervously heard Sam giggling and started to laugh out loud for a moment... She scraped her throat several times and I could hear that she was really embarrassed... 'Is he...?!' 'Yes...' 'Whahaha, oh my god...! Wow... uhm... Isn't an "exit" supposed to stay an exit...? I mean... Doesn't that hurt?' 'Lube... Lots and lots of lube...' 'Wow... uh... There isn't any poop sticking to your fingers or his schlong whenever you do, right...?' 'What, no! Of course not, geez! For fucks sakes, Ceylan, that's disgusting...!!' 'Hehehehe... No but... Seriously, how?' 'An anal shower helps, you know...' 'And it actually works...?' 'Yes... Also, David's wearing an extra strong condom whenever we do so...' 'Aaah... So he likes it but... do you...?' 'To say the least... I actually came the first time we did...' 'Wow... That good, huh?' 'Hm-mm...' 'That's great to hear though... I mean, I'm not judging you... I do get the feeling that Terry is getting a little bored with me, though...' 'Why? What gives you that idea?' 'I don't know, it's always the same... It's great fun and all but... Just getting a little repetitive...' 'Yeah but why?' 'I don't know...! I mean, foreplay is good but then he just climbs on top of me when I'm on my back and well... I'm not complaining about his performance but he's just really gentle and careful and I get the feeling he's always holding back.' 'Hm... The only logical thing to do is to talk to him about it, you know.' 'I know, I know... I just don't really know how to bring it up...' 'Watch a porn flick and copy their actions?' 'Hehehehehe... No...!' 'It works, you know... Just to break the ice...' 'And where exactly did you get this porn DVD?' 'That's irrelevant for you to know... The point is, it can spark some ideas, if you catch my drift... Perhaps you'll find certain fantasies you didn't know of...' 'Maybe...'

For the rest of the evening, Sam and I were talking and the topic quickly changed to something else. Before I knew, we were talking on the phone for about two hours and it got kind of late... Not to mention the phone-bill I'd receive by the end of the month... Of course, we still had MSN and Skype and stuff but without a webcam and a microphone, the conversations weren't really that personal, especially during our serious talks about love and... Well, you know... I still haven't bought a webcam and even though she told me many times to buy one, I still didn't... Our talks about sex has proven to be useful to me in the past... But once we ended our call and I turned the lights off when I got to bed, I started to think about it... And even though Sam was joking about it, I thought that it might even work... Besides... how bad could it be...? The only question was, where to get a porn dvd...?

The answer was simple. The internet. And no, it wasn't exactly acquired In a legal way... Going to a sex-shop and browse some DVD's while several people see you entering the shop wasn't exactly my kind of thing... Buying it from a web-shop didn't do the trick because I needed it that night, considering it was one of many impulsive actions I would undertake... Because, you know... I've always been rather impatient... So the next morning, I booted my PC, opened up several ports on my router for the BitTorrent client and searched the web for any torrents. Bam! Two hundred and seventy three thousand, four hundred and sixty five hits, hehehehe... Scrolling through those pages was kind of humorous though... Seeing these titles made me laugh... Things like Butt Bashing Beauties, Battlestar Orgasmica, Lord of the Strings, Weapons of Ass Destruction, Dickman and Throbin, Edward Penishands, Shaving Ryan's Privates, Inspect her gadget, Forrest Hump and The Whore of the Worlds were just a few of them... Don't know if any of the movies were good but I figured that they were mostly comical parodies on real movies... So I just looked at the one which had the most seed... And no, not that kind of seed... Seeding refers to leaving a peer's connection available for other BitTorrent clients so that your download goes faster... Anyway! I chose Dickman and Throbin because the boxart looked funny as fuck. Also, it had the most seeders so it must've been popular. Clickity-click... And my download was underway...

It only took two hours for the movie to finish and it was a nice .iso file, which can be mounted by a virtual disc emulator. Mounting the .iso file basically fools your computer by thinking your ramming a DVD in your DVD-rom player. So once I mounted it, the DVD auto-played itself, like I expected. A nice intro logo and the main menu was shown... All I had to do was to burn it on a DVD to have a jolly good time at Terry's house...

'Hey Terry, you still haven't seen Batman, right?' 'Batman begins?' 'Uh, yeah, that's the one.' 'No, I still haven't seen that one.' 'Good! I got it with me so if you feel like watching it together...' 'You do?! Awesome, let's put it up!' Once we arrived at Terry's place that evening, I told him about the DVD. Under the impression that we were about to watch "Batman begins", Terry raided the pantry closet for popcorn and crisps and flopped down on the couch in the living-room... That wasn't exactly what I expected... Not that his parents would notice, they weren't there that evening. But I wanted to watch it in his room for obvious reasons... When I showed him the DVD with "Batman begins" written on it, Terry started to munch on some popcorn and looked at the DVD as if he was watching the movie already... 'That doesn't look like a genuine DVD to me.' 'I know, I downloaded it.' 'Isn't that illegal?' 'Not if they find out.' 'Hm, cheeky. I agree though, new releases are always expansive. The last one I bought was "Wanted", with Angelina Jolie.' 'What?' 'Uhm, did I say bought? I obviously meant downloaded.' 'No, no, you bought Wanted? I haven't seen that one yet!' 'Okay, so, Batman begins first, then Wanted.' 'Awesome... But uh... Shouldn't we watch in your room instead?' 'Smaller screen in my room.' 'Yes, but a lovely bed to lie down on...'

Those words was all it took for him to take him upstairs. What better way was there to spend the evening by watching a movie in bed? Terry still was under the impression that we'd watch Batman begins together... But you and I know better... Hehehe...

Once we got to his room, we took a shower together, like we always did whenever we were spending the evenings alone together and once we finished, the two of us flopped on his bed in our underwear. Terry was about to put the DVD in his DVD-player but that would ruin the "surprise" if he saw the menu... I asked him to get us popcorn and crisps downstairs and once he was out of his room, I placed the DVD in the tray and it played. Once it got to the menu, I waited until I heard Terry coming up the stairs again and I quickly pressed play. It caused him to see a black screen when he got back in his room... So we flopped down once more and I saw Terry frowning at the unknown companies who produced this film. Normally, you'd see the familiar logo's of Universal Studio's, Paramount Pictures or 20th Century Fox but these were quick, simple logo's of companies we never even heard of... And that's when Terry became suspicious... 'Uh, you sure it's the right movie?' 'I think so, yeah...'

And that's when the narrator started to talk when the black screen fades into a bird's eye view of a city... 'In the beautiful, peaceful city of Covestead Falls...' 'What?? Covestead Falls?? it's supposed to be Gotham City...' 'Sssh, let's just watch, okay...?' 'Life is quiet... Yet great injustice terrorizes the suburbs...' 'What the fuck, dude... Haha...' 'It is in every street, in every home, where males are deprived from their primal needs and the females are prudish... A desperate cry is heard in the night... In their hour of need, two heroes form an alliance to answer their cries...' 'This sure as hell isn't Batman begins, I can tell you that...' 'Perhaps it's a cheap budget rip-off or something, I dunno...'

Basically, the story was very corny but so fucking hilarious... In a nutshell: Dickman and Throbin are superheroes, the so called "sexcorsists" and their job is "battling" prudish women. And by battling, I mean fucking their brains out so that they are willing to finally fuck their husbands again. However, Dickman and Throbin are facing a threat never seen before. An organised crime syndicate consisting out of feminists called "A.S.S." or Associates of Secret Stuff are threatening to take over the city and are hypnotising every female to do their bidding by having a satellite launched in the orbit, leaving all the males craving for some pussy to have their revenge on males. Yeah, I know, but it's so fucking hilarious... 'We join our heroes Dickman and Throbin in the Dick-cave where Dickman is making some ginseng tea!' 'Tsing tsui ha ni pow ma. Long coh shen tsu ti mah. Ewoh dah muu.' 'Holy cat nipples on a horse's ass, Dickman! What does that mean?!' 'I'm not certain, Throbin. It's written here on the box of ginseng tea. This either means to infuse the teabag for two minutes or Chlororoot is at it again.' 'That fiendish female! Will she never see the error of her ways?!' 'I'm afraid not, my dear, well hung companion of justice.' 'Holy anal dumplings , Dickman! The Dick-phone is ringing!' 'Dickman speaking.' 'Hello Dickman, this is commissioner Gordon, we have a situation. We need you at once!' 'I'm on my way, commissioner. Quickly Throbin! To the Dick-mobile!'

Oh my god... The acting was so terrible that it started to get hilarious... I guess that was all on purpose but then again, it's a porn movie. Who needs to act in a porn movie? The story is just a simple excuse to let as many people as possible having it off on screen. Terry however, still wasn't aware that it was a porn movie. Nevertheless, we kept watching because of our dry, childish sense of humour... Dickman and Throbin got sent out to investigate a call from a male who's in desperate need to get laid but his wife isn't giving him any pussy. The two of them jumped through the window and struck an action pose as they got up... 'Dickman! Thank goodness you're here! I need your help!' 'Where is she?' 'She's in the kitchen! It's like she's possessed!' 'Worry not, citizen. You'll get some pun tang faster than you can say "Holy monkey tits on a genital ward".' 'Uh, okay...' 'Quickly, Throbin! To the kitchen!'

Dickman and Throbin quickly ran into the kitchen where a skimpy young woman was preparing a meal... She turned around the moment Dickman and Throbin got in the kitchen. A devious little smile appeared on her face as she approached Dickman... Attracted by Dickman's sex appeal, she started to undress herself, just like that... And that's when Terry's eyes got bigger the moment a pair of titties were seen on the screen... And I acted all surprised and shit to have mistaken the movie for Batman begins... Of course, Terry saw through that little act... Not that he would care, though... The movie was still very entertaining... So we just smiled and watched how Dickman and Throbin got laid over and over again...

The movie lasted for an hour and a half... It had some hilarious moments and the sex scenes were really hot to see... I would be lying if I said I didn't felt aroused by it... Terry's fingers might've had a part in that too... His fingers were slipping in my panties every time people on screen got laid... Fondling each other was nice for the duration of that movie... But I forgot the reason why I wanted to watch it with Terry in the first place... I remembered when the movie ended... Terry laid back as I got on top of him and gave tender little kisses... But then I just looked at him while he stared right back in my eyes... 'So what'd ya think of the movie...?' 'You downloaded it on purpose, didn't you...?' 'I guess, hehehe...' 'It was good for several laughs, yeah... Sex scenes weren't too bad either...' 'I need to get something off my chest, Terry...' 'What's bugging you?' 'Do you still like it...?' 'Whadda ya mean, babe...?' 'Having sex with me...?' 'Of course I do, why wouldn't I...?' 'Well... I get the feeling that something is just missing...' 'Like what?' 'I don't know... I get the feeling that your holding yourself back... As if your afraid to let yourself go...' 'Am I...?' 'It's okay, you can tell me...'

Terry bit his upper lip and sighed quietly as his eyes averted... That's when I knew that there actually was something on his mind... 'Why, don't you like it...?' 'I do, Terry, I really do... I just get the feeling that you're not enjoying it the way you're supposed to...' 'What makes you think that...?' 'Because I'm not the only one with fantasies...'

Heh... I understood Terry's situation though... After all the bullshit I've put him through, he placed my feelings and desires above his own and I respect him for that... But I didn't want it to become a drag for him... I wanted to make it feel special to him and that night, I suddenly had the feeling that it never really was... 'Just talk to me...' 'Look... uhm...' 'Do you feel insecure about it...? Or afraid to give in...?' 'I just don't wanna do anything that'll scare you off, Ceylan...' 'All the more reason to talk about it... Tell me what it is that you want with me... Be honest... Don't be afraid to speak up your mind...'

I wanted to see how we could change things... And I think the only way to do that is to talk about it... To be honest about what you want... I've always made it perfectly clear to him about what I wanted... But after everything that happened, Terry never had the chance to express his fantasies... And he stayed quiet about it ever since... Until now... 'My fantasies...?' 'Yeah...' 'I fell in love with your pushy and dominant personality you have. But during sex, there's none of that... And well...' 'Yeah...' 'Heh...' 'Are you afraid that you're gonna put me off if you tell me?' 'Yeah, definitely...' 'Does it bother you to know certain things about me you rather wouldn't have known...? Is that what's troubling you...?'

Terry gave a quiet nod and looked me in the eyes as I sighed quietly... And once more, the things that happened at Mikaela's house proved to be a much more difficult thing to deal with than I ever imagined... Not only for me but for Terry as well, ever since I told him about it... It'll always leave a mark on me... But I didn't want it to become a mark on him as well... Terry once told me that we would share each other's burdens... But this wasn't a burden I wanted him to carry... 'You have to understand that things aren't the way they used to be anymore, Terry... We both changed... It happened and neither you or me can do anything about it... But you are better than them... And I want you to be comfortable to have sex with me... I feel it's the most precious thing I can give to you after everything that happened...' 'Heh...' 'I know it can be embarrassing but nevertheless, I think it's very important to talk about what you want... And how you feel about it... How you feel about me...'

Terry and I have been talking about it for hours... He told me how he felt about it, how insecure he really felt whenever we were having sex... I wasn't that insecure anymore but Terry still was... It wasn't until that very same night, I started to realize what kind of an impact it really had on us... Terry was just afraid of doing something wrong to me... But I told him that as long as he treated me with the respect he always gave me, whispered in my ear that he loved me and as long as long as he stayed with me, I'd do anything I could to make him happy... And for the first time since we started to talk about it, I saw a twinkle in his eyes as a cute smile appeared on his face...

I have to admit, that night was a little emotional... It didn't end the way I thought it was gonna be... Once we both felt relieved to have talked about it, we watched another movie... Wanted, with Angelina Jolie... During the movie, Terry and I were cuddling and fondled each other, while sharing every once in a while a kiss together... Once the movie ended and we turned off the lights, we started to talk again... About Terry's fantasies and what he wanted... And his fantasies were simple... A dominant girl who's "superior" to him in every way imaginable, giving unbearable teases... Rough sex was something he also enjoyed... Terry never liked it whenever I asked him about his previous adventures and what they did... How they did it... Did I had a reason to be jealous...? No, because I was his girlfriend and they weren't anymore... He was loyal to me and all the other girls he ever slept with meant nothing to him... But nevertheless, Terry talked about it... Never went into details but it was everything I had to know... And I started to think I was able to give him exactly what he wanted... The more I thought about it, the easier it was for me to understand...

I was thinking about it in bed that night, many hours after we passionately made love to each other... To me, there always was a difference between "making love" and "sex", if you know what I mean... But then again, sex doesn't always have to be romantic with Terry... It'll be romantic afterwards... I always wanted someone who'd passionately made love to me in the way I wanted to... But by forcing that on him, I forgot about his feelings... I didn't know if I was ever going to like it but I had to try it, for him... Either way, I had to find a way to make things work for the both of us, to keep us happy and content... It wasn't until then I started to realize how important sex really was to me... And it's strange because it also caused me much grieve and sorrow in the past... I was contradicting myself again without even knowing... And the only way to break that cycle is to look at things from a different perspective... I have to admit that I wasn't really that comfortable hearing his fantasies... But I guess I just had to look at them from a different perspective as well... I looked at Terry who was asleep and I realized the only thing I had to do was to be myself...