Pink and Ruger: Introducing the Outlook Rangers
#1 of P&R: The New Orleans Incident
Introductory part of a story series about Pink and Ruger, a pair of anthropomorphic FEMA secret soldiers, who are authorized to use force to save Furmerica from anthropomorphized natural disasters! In this part the two soldiers are introduced to their superior at a performance review, and are asked to explain why they (apparently) were responsible for Hurricane Katrina ending up in New Orleans.
A comedy/bureaucracy action modern-day romance!
Pink and Ruger: Introducing the Outlook Rangers-Performance Report 0
I flicked closed the dossier, stretching back at my desk.
12:03.
I had a few minutes before my meeting with my visiting subordinates. After an 'incident' was officially resolved, it was typical department policy to require return of the Rangers involved for discussion and debriefing.
That was my job.
Generally at these events praise and censure was ladled out in equal measure, but in this case I was mainly interested in hearing what actually happened. Although there was little question of the unprofessional relationship between the two, I was still surprised to find from what I could gather from my predecessors' personnel files that the little porcine sidekick of the bulky Siberian Husky was in fact the driving force which united the pair and resulted in such a unique and successful pair of Outlook Rangers. I wasn't interested in correcting their misbehavior, however.
The Rangers were a secret paramilitary organization under direct control of the Federal Emergency Management Agency which answered only to FEMA. The old joke that we always showed up late and under-resourced had its basis in fact, but the new FEMA was trying to change this for the better. The Ranger program was one of the recent changes made under the auspices of the National Security Act's umbrella doctrine allowing us more freedom of action in our internal business.
There was a tap at the door.
I snapped out of my reverie with the violence of a sprung trap.
"Come in," I huffed curtly.
My mewlingly submissive human assistant swung the door open slightly.
"Sir, the Outlook officers are here to see you," he hesitantly said, blinking at me with eyes like plates.
"Have them in, then," I bleated, taking a handful of dried clover from the small cup on my desk and chewing it to freshen up my breath.
A moment later the door banged open and a heavy-set dark figure was momentarilty sillouhetted in the light from the reception area.
Howard "Ruger" Piecemeal had to duck a bit to fit through the door, the stocky black Siberian Husky taking a couple steps into my office and looking around at my shelves of management and training awards with thinly veiled suspicion.
"Hey!" I objected as he reached for one of the heavy lucite cubes, but my objection was unnecessary, as the big dog stopped in his movement quite suddenly, and turned his head slightly.
"Do excuse Ruger, good chap," a melodious voice intoned, and I paused as well. I'd heard that Henry "Pink" Purcell had a silver tongue, but hearing it in person was a different matter entirely.
"Uh... Hello," I said after a moment. "Why don't you two have a seat and make yourselves comfortable."
I adjusted my own chair, sitting back down and glancing over the two quite different officers sitting opposite me.
Even sitting down Howard was a good several feet taller, and wider, than his partner Henry. The black Husky looked at home wearing a business suit, though it was also clear this wasn't his usual dress as his attitude was somewhat stiff, as if he was uncomfortable with the restrictive clothes.
Henry, on the other hand, looked like he was perfectly at home in the dark suit hpwhich he wore like a second skin. While not thin by any means, Henry wasn't particularly large for a pig, having apparently swelled both in height and girth about equally. His suit seemed well cut, and the porcine gave a little snort as I glanced up, catching the tail end of a smirk, then the pig oinked to himself and began to speak.
"I presume, Sir, that this is all about what happened with that Katrina thing," he started apologetically, "In New Orleans?"
Henry coughed a couple times, and Howard joined in, looking embarassed.
"Yes." I gave both of them a severe stare; Howard let out a whine; Henry appeared nonplussed. "How on Earth is it that I hear you purposefully sent Katrina to Old Town Louisiana?"
Pink jumped right in.
"We had to choose a place with a good party scene. It really makes a lot of sense, Sir."
Even hearing Pink speak patronizingly was pleasant. I had to take a breath so I wouldn't accidentally sigh or bleat, or something else equally embarrassing.
"Go on..." I said after collecting myself.
And Pink began...
Hey everyone! Long time away. I've been working on a few new stories, and I hope you enjoyed this, the first chapter of my new serial. It's about a pair of partners who work to save the United States of Soviet Furmerica from various natural disasters which are represented anthropomorphically. Here's the first part of the story, where the pair are about to have to explain themselves to their supervisor back at the Federal Emergency Management Agency!
I'm trying something a little different with this story, where I'm preparing all-ages versions of the chapters which have romantic scenes. This introductory chapter doesn't contain any steamy romance, but there will be alternate versions of further segments!
As always, I'd love to hear from you about comments! Best wishes to everyone, and I hope you had fun with the read!
_ SAMI _