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Author's Note: The following is a work of furry fiction. It may contain acts of yiffery, including but not limited to sexual acts between two males who are related. If you're too young to read things like this, or it squicks you in any way, feel free to walk now. If not, read and enjoy...

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Nostalgia By Proxy ©MMIV Whyte Yoté

It was funny, really. There was always the smoke: thick, black and billowing up through the dark staircases. People's voices in the high register of near-panic. His cell phone never worked, of course. And at the end, as he fell face first, calmly watching the plaza rush to meet him at 125 miles per hour, he always thought the same thing...

I should have chosen the Denver omelette.

Sebastian Blackbridge's head twitched and knocked his heavy Swingline stapler to the floor. It landed with a hollow crash against the Berber carpeting and silence stole the room once again. Regardless; he was awake, and he would be until well after sunset.

He peeled his face from the large planning calendar on his desk, looking amusedly at the sweat-stain left on the paper. After all this time, he thought, he would have learned not to fall asleep at his desk. Every time he did he had the dream of that day, just more than three years ago, that nearly left his son parentless.

Sebastian glanced over the scattered picture frames on his desk, his dark brown hyena's eyes resting on one particular photograph. In it, he and his friend, Raol, were standing next to a sculpture in the middle of a bustling plaza. The background was filled with parallel columns of steel and glass, rising and converging until it seemed they would reach out of the frame forever. On the silver picture frame were two towers.

Raol Marlin had just been promoted to District Manager for his company. Consequently, he had been transferred to the larger offices, which held most of the company's records and its major base of operations. Sebastian just happened to be in New York City on the morning of September 11, 2001, and he had been delighted to help the bobcat move into his corner office on the 104th floor of 1 World Trade Center.

All the familiar images flicked like an obscene slideshow through his mind, one after another, like always. The office blurred around him...

Meeting Raol at Windows on the World at 8:30. Being torn between a ham and cheese omelette and the Denver omelette, and choosing the former. A glint of metal, heliographed in the rising sun, and the fireball blossoming from below them. How the building swayed with agonising sluggishness. The panic of the dining room, and cell phones ringing everywhere.

The hyena had told Raol to wait while he checked the lower floors for a way down, since they had discovered the elevator inoperable.

"Don't do this. They'll come from the roof to get us. You don't know what's down there," the bobcat said.

Sebastian had been adamant to the point of frustration with his friend. "We have it a lot bloody better than most of those people. I have to look. I'll call you if I find anything, okay?"

The bobcat's eyes had told him things were definitely not okay, that things were absolutely fucking shit, if you wanted to know the truth. He had left Raol in charge of 104 while he went down looking for answers.

More smoke, more bleary memories...finding a woman with two broken legs, deciding to lead the people on the burning 99th floor down in search of an exit. Calling Raol and telling him to stay put if he wanted to, but to use his head. The bobcat's last words were, "I've watched The Poseidon Adventure. They always come with helicopters." It was typical of him to joke.

But that hadn't been the case. It had taken an hour to get down to the lobby through smoke, heat and masses of people. After dropping the injured woman, Sebastian had tried calling his friend, only to be told that the phone lines were busy. No shit, Sherlock.

He never saw tower two struck, or collapse; it had just been a smouldering mass by the time he got outside his building. Fifteen minutes later he found himself running from an advancing cloud of gray matter and flying papers, jumping into a donut shop and holding the doors closed, his tears of anguish and helplessness mixing with debris and making his eyes sting and itch.

Now, the slides jumped quicker and more forward in time...the searches, the vigils, the funerals, comforting Raol's widow as best he could.

The office walls solidified again, but Sebastian still had to wipe his eyes. Time wasn't doing a good job of healing this wound. The hyena looked at his watch and decided he had spent enough time being weak and reminiscent for one day. After all, he had a well-paying job to do and a boy to raise on his own, although Kylo had been doing a pretty good job of raising himself since he had started puberty.

Although it was still early on, the sounds of the city wafted up four stories to the Blackbridge penthouse. Traffic was always white noise to Sebastian; he never had trouble falling asleep. Kylo, his fourteen-year-old son, still had a habit of complaining. The older hyena had a sneaking suspicion that the youth was only doing it for show.

Sebastian stood from his desk and looked out the plate glass that covered one wall of his office. Downtown Johannesburg, South Africa sprawled out before him. Through the haze of pollution were glints of sunlight off bits of steel and glass. Shadows rose, covering the texture of the surfaces they touched.

Time for some coffee, the best and only way: Africa style. Sebastian padded down the hallway, still dressed in his semi-casual work clothes, and descended a flight of stairs, down a half-floor to the kitchen. The penthouse occupied two floors of the building, and its half-step open design provided for three separate tiers of living space.

The kitchen was an exercise in modern cooking: stainless steel, mahogany, marble countertops, contact-heat burners. The hyena made it a point to cook most of his and Kylo's meals, and his son often joined in for a little bonding time. And, of course, to eat up any leftovers.

On came the coffee pot, and into it went a very rich, very expensive blend, custom mixed just for Sebastian from deep within the Congo. Soon the brew was dripping, and the hyena sat down to read the latest news. When the coffee was done, he poured himself a cup in his favorite mug (WORLD'S BEST POP! was printed across it in big, red letters) and finished the newspaper.

"Kylo!" he yelled up to the third landing, where the bedrooms were located. "Boy! Are you awake, son?"

There was no reply to his booming voice, and Sebastian was just about to go upstairs and get him when a thought struck: there was a reason that he had slept in the office last night. It had been a Friday night, and he usually tried to work late to avoid doing much through the weekend. Today was Saturday morning, neither the time nor the place for work or school.

After waiting a while longer for any sign of stirring from Kylo, Sebastian folded up the newspaper and trotted back up to his bedroom. The morning was just too perfect to pass up a jog through town.

* * *

It was well past nine o'clock when the hyena mounted the steps to the front door of his building.

"Have fun, sir?" asked the elderly but regal lion who manned the door.

"Don't I always?" Sebastian replied, but he was trying hard to catch his breath. Every day he was reminded of his age. He was remarkably fit for his forty-two years, but middle-age had somehow crept into his life. The only times he felt young, or anything approaching young, were when he was with Kylo.

He had thought about Celeste again during his jog. She had been a true British beauty, her deep emerald eyes captivating his soul over and again as they had courted. Breast cancer had taken her three years ago, but the loss was minimized by Celeste's own words to her friends and family. She had battled hard and long, and when she finally lost the strength to stand she took to comforting everyone but herself. Kylo was upset, of course, but his mother's brave face taught him there is nothing to fear in death.

When she died, it was Sebastian who had taken it the hardest. Putting on a tough, compassionate face for others, and then crying himself to sleep at night; it was difficult trying to raise Kylo to be a man when his father was emotionally unstable. The older hyena sometimes wondered if it wouldn't have been so bad to cry with his son sometimes.

Celeste was gone, and he would mourn her still, but at last the memories of her were turning into nostalgia, that awesome mix of reminiscence and sadness. And he had no regrets, at least not about her.

The lion opened the door and Sebastian slipped him a fiver for his trouble.

"Much obliged, sir," the lion tipped his hat.

"A pleasure as always, Jonnie." The hyena placed his codecard in its slot, and the lift rose to the fourth floor (he wondered, while he rode, what harm it would have done to take the stairs) and exited into the hall which separated the bedrooms.

Music blared from behind Kylo's closed door, something noisy he recognized as the White Stripes. The young canine was certainly world-wise. He had basically been raised from a pup in the States, as both Sebastian and Celeste's jobs caused them to be in the air quite a bit. Since Celeste hadn't wanted to give up her career, she just took Kylo along on her business trips to New York City. It wasn't particularly rough on the boy, but the kid had lost any British accent he might have developed otherwise.

Sebastian's fur was soaked through with perspiration, and he wanted to get out of his wet clothes more than anything. They quickly went into the hamper and he stood, nude, in front of a full-length mirror.

"I really should get rid of that," he muttered. He ran his hands over the dark beige of his chest, checking for signs of slippage. Of course there was nothing. He had caught himself gaining weight early on in his marriage, and vowed to never let his body go. It was, in some ways, a promise he kept for Celeste.

He was still a handsome man. Like most of his species, he was top-heavy, with broad shoulders and a chest that was not overly muscular but still defined. At just under two metres and 104 kilograms, he had a thick build that was easily hidden behind clothes. His back and shoulders were spotted with black among tawny fur, and the top of his head, ears and tail were black. Sebastian was blessed with particularly good markings.

Satisfied that he wasn't going to pot, the hyena turned away from the mirror and flopped on the bed. He yelped and flipped over at once, clutching the half-erection he didn't know he had. The pain was momentary, and to his surprise it had brought his entire length into the open.

"Huh...how odd."

The hyena gave his member a couple of squeezes and chuckled. It had been a while since he had masturbated. Come to think of it, he probably had quite the nut built up between his legs.

Not now, he thought. You'll end up all sticky, and have to shower, and Kylo might have something planned. "Bloody hell," he said, still smiling, and stood up to don a pair of boxers. The erection was already fading, and Sebastian was grateful.

The din from inside Kylo's room was substantial. Sebastian knocked on the door and called, "Son! You're going to go deaf, boy!"

Not surprisingly, there was no answer. The hyena knocked a little louder. "Kylo! Do you want to take a shower first?" His voice was louder now. He made a mental note to get Kylo's shower fixed first thing Monday morning.

He was going to have to open the door, as much as he respected his son's privacy. The knob turned and the music became almost unbearable seeping through the crack. It opened until there was just enough room for his head, and he peered in.

Kylo was certainly present and accounted for. But that was as much as his mind would allow. Amid the blaring music and in the middle of scattered clothes, Kylo lay on his bed. The room suddenly became darker, smaller, paneled in wood. Clothes disappeared into closets, Kylo's computer was replaced by and old Royal typewriter. And Kylo...the young hyena wasn't himself anymore. In fact, he had gone too. And in his place was...was...

Sebastian forced himself to close the door without slamming it. His chest had become trapped in vice, his breathing labored. For the second time that day, tears were in his eyes, but from what emotion he could not tell. He literally didn't know what to feel, but his cock was as hard as it could get.

He closed his eyes, trying to reconstruct what he had seen. Kylo's young, lithe body had been stretched out on the bed. His fur, in the same pattern but a shade lighter than Sebastian's, shone in sunlight. Propped on a pillow, he strained his neck forward and back. His hands propped his buttocks up, and his legs were splayed open. One-the left, Sebastian recalled-was straight up in the air, the right one arched acutely down and backwards, making his toes touch the bed above his head. His tail swished in a flaccid arc, alternately showing and hiding his tailhole.

And his muzzle...

That muzzle had been laboriously working over his own cock, its thin length remaining motionless as it was devoured. Kylo's tongue, only flashes of pink from his view, lapped at the head, and his whole body vibrated as if charged by some electric shock. Drips of white flowed from the corners of his mouth, which was drawn up into a smile. And the magazine...

And then everything had started to change. Sebastian had had the dream this morning, and now this. He pushed the thought away and returned to his room on feet that felt as heavy as lead.

"Oh, Lord. Oh, wow." He couldn't speak. For the first time, in a long time, Sebastian couldn't make sense of what he'd seen. It would have been fine, except...except for that damn magazine!

The hyena stood still. Why was he overreacting so? This was not the day and age to be making such a big deal out of something as silly as a magazine, was it? No, he thought. Of course not.

Sebastian's breathing calmed; his heart sank from within his throat. Breathe, man. This was no way for an adult male to act, especially a father. There...there would be a discussion, of course. There had to be. Sebastian would have to ask the Big Question...because, in the centrefold of that magazine, there had been a male.

There. That wasn't so hard. After all, the hyena had a...well, a history of sorts. There would be a time and a place for that, but for now he knew what he had to do.

But the picture of his son, bent double and nursing his own cock, remained in the foreground of his mind. Looking downward, in dismay, his erection was achingly hard again, his seeping tip wetting the boxers through.

It's not Kylo, you know that. It's...it's got to be...

It probably was, but he cleared his head brusquely. The thought was morbid, but they had had such fun together, so long ago...

Whatever the cause, Sebastian had a need to address. The boxers were replaced by a cotton bath towel and the hyena stepped quickly to the shower. Kylo's stereo still blared, and that was a good sign. He cringed a bit as he passed the door.

The towel came off as soon as the bathroom door was locked, and the water was turned on as hot as it would go. The hyena stepped into a wall of steam, and as the spray soaked him to the skin he adjusted the temperature to a more comfortable level. The heat only served to arouse him further.

Now on to other, more important, things. The eight-inch length of his cock begged for stimulation, and jumped each time a drop of water left the flesh. He gripped his shaft, sliding along it slowly, relishing the reaction from his body. His muzzle turned upward to the cascading water.

As much as he tried to concentrate on just the feelings coming from his loins, he couldn't help turning his thoughts to fantasy. It was a simple boyhood tendency that he couldn't avoid, nothing more, except...there was Kylo.

"Bloody!-" he exclaimed, surprised and appalled by how far and fast that one image had gotten him. He hunched into the billowing steam, precariously on the verge of climax. Sebastian watched a drop of red appear near the drain and swirl away clockwise into oblivion. The blood had come from his lower lip, which he was still biting, trying not to think of his son.

The hyena started over, this time with a picture of his wife. His shaft responded; he pulled on his sheath with his free hand, and Celeste began giving him a blowjob in the car on the way to some opera or another...a common fantasy of his.

"Mmmmmm." Sebastian growled, the sound reverberating off the tile walls. Celeste used her tongue and used it well, keeping constant contact with his sweet spot, right around the tip of his urethra.

The fantasy head bobbed quicker, harder, until he was about to warn his wife of his impending climax when Kylo's head popped up from his groin.

"How'm I doing, pop?" he asked, head cocked to one side, just as if he were learning a new swimming stroke. Sebastian yelped and frantically tried to change channels, but Kylo stayed.

The hyena forced the female to the main part of the action again, unaware that he had almost bitten a hole straight through his lip. But Kylo still remained, that young fresh face mingling with another face, also familiar. Sebastian's hips thrust into his hand, but he forced his grip to lessen. He stood, shaking despite the warm water, leaking copious amounts of precum. His body and his mind betrayed him; all of his thoughts were Kylo, Kylo, Kylo. The familiar tingle welled up below his balls, brought on not by any contact but by just the thought of his son and how strongly his past had come back to him.

A strained cry came from his muzzle, the cry of a helpless cub, a non-consensual sound. Against his will, Sebastian gave up resisting; anything had to be better than being held on the edge. He sank to his knees and his hand returned with renewed vigor.

It took only two strokes before his cock became too sensitive to touch, so he made a ring with his thumb and forefinger and squeezed around the base of his shaft. A howl built up in him but he caught himself, just barely, nearly tearing his lip to shreds.

Thick hyena cum poured forth from between his legs in an uninterrupted stream instead of the usual spurts. White oozed from his slit, punctuated by several shots that splattered against the wall of the tub and dripped down to the drain. Sebastian humped forward, his head on the tile, gasping for air and control of his mind.

Water poured off his shaking form. Slowly he brought himself to stand, quickly soaped up and stepped out onto the bath mat. He drew the towel around, looking like a man that has just escaped a frozen lake. Sebastian dried off weak legs, heaving chest, slack face, droopy tail. When he looked in the mirror the hyena looking back wore an expression of blank, ancient horror. His ears were folded flat against his skull, his normally bright brown eyes sunken and haunted.

Unlike most times after he pawed off, he felt charged, almost electrified, totally the opposite of his appearance. He was sheathed again, thank goodness-and he took a brush to himself, ridding his body of remaining water and tangles. The tear in his lip had stopped bleeding, but had begun to throb dully and showed signs of swelling.

After making sure he looked presentable, Sebastian drew in a deep breath, straightened up and let it out again, flashing the same smile he had used to woo countless clients over the years. He turned and opened the bathroom door.

Kylo's face was less than a foot from his, their muzzles almost touching. Sebastian uttered a choked bark and tripped over his own feet, stumbling to the far wall and freezing. His eyes were wide, scanning his son. In the second their muzzles had almost come into contact, the smell of semen had been almost overpowering.

"Hey, pop!" The youth chirped the way only children can do early in the morning. His face turned to dubious concern. "You didn't take all the hot water, did you?" His frown was temporary, and he giggled as he turned to the bathroom, the hall growing dark again as the door was closed and locked.

His father, feeling very much ashamed and every bit his age, slid down the wall to the floor, where he waited for his heart to stop speeding within him. Any shred of dignity or aplomb had disappeared when he looked into his son's innocent, smiling face. Sebastian stood. His head spun, and the towel tented up once again.

On his way back to the bedroom, the hyena could only hope the shower had washed his musk down the drain with his seed.

* * *

What might have been even funnier than having the 9/11 dream every time he slept at his desk was the disappearance of the dreams altogether after his encounter with Kylo.

Sebastian had gone through a transformation of sorts in the past few days. Kylo hadn't seemed overly concerned with his father's almost abject fear of him last weekend, but it was a rare show of emotion and the boy didn't question it. The older hyena tended still to give his son more room than usual. Although he told himself it was because he didn't want to think of Kylo like that, Sebastian knew it was just a way of preparing for the talk this afternoon. Except it was he who needed the preparation.

If one good thing had to come of all this business, it was the disappearance of his dreams: of 9/11, of Raol, of Celeste and even of Kylo. Sebastian couldn't recall the last time he'd had a full-night's rest, but he'd had four in a row and he felt like a new man. Somehow seeing his son and being reminded of his formative years had brought closure; how, exactly, he didn't know.

Today, a run-of-the-mill Thursday, a school day, was going to change one or both of their lives. Sebastian looked forward to it the way cows look to the door of a slaughterhouse with upbeat stupidity. It wasn't dread, no, but it was impossible to judge where the conversation would go once the magazine came out.

Sebastian sat on his bed, clad in only his boxers, brushing an arm and watching with mute curiosity as a deep sheen developed in the tawny fur. He hadn't seen any kind of sheen since he had left high school in 1980. It was something that, he realized, he had always envied in his son. The full-length mirror was up again, this time reflecting a much fresher muzzle, eyes that were bright and burden-free, and a tail that even wagged like a truncated pendulum. He was experiencing a kind of euphoria akin to buying the car of his dreams, or winning the lottery.

If this is my version of a mid-life crisis, he thought, I'm going to save a lot of money and therapy. He'd already captured some youth back in body...maybe, if he worked hard on it, he could set his mind to rest as well.

Kylo was due home from school at three o'clock. As soon as he'd left the house this morning, Sebastian had (after praying for his son to forgive him) gone thoroughly and methodically through the young hyena's room, looking for the magazine. It had taken a full two hours, but at last he came across it-and many other items of paraphernalia.

Kylo had built up quite the porn collection. There were a few magazines, two CDs which probably contained various images, two DVDs and three VHS cassettes with the standard cheesy titles. Also included were assorted condoms, lube, a rather large dildo, cock rings and various books. The magazines and media were lying on the floor behind Kylo's dresser under the bottom drawer, and the rest was in a shoebox. Sebastian had to admit that his son had probably found the best possible hiding place in his room.

The hyena made his way down to the main floor and the kitchen to pour himself some iced tea that had been sunning itself all yesterday afternoon. He added some sugar (he was dead-set against artificial sweetener of any kind) and walked to the living room, plopping down on the leather sofa.

On the coffee table in front of him were the two objects he would show Kylo when he got home. He figured the rest was overkill and didn't need to be brought out. The first object was, of course, the copy of Male Tails, a publication with an unfortunate title but adequate writing and superb photography. While flipping through it earlier, Sebastian couldn't help but admire the young men of all species, and he could see why Kylo had been looking at the centrefold: the collie pictured was servicing himself as well, although Sebastian knew his son could do a better job. He had laughed, and then chastised himself for such a wanton thought.

The second object was more of a concern than the magazine...a fatherly obligation, even. It was a photograph, a little faded, with rough edges and dog-eared corners. In the photo was a wolf who looked to be a bit older than Kylo, and an African wild dog. Both were kneeling before a boulder, with the setting sun casting silhouettes of a few desert trees in the distance. It was easy to see that both were aroused. This photograph was taken specifically for Kylo, and the only thing left to ask was who the wolf was. It was clear the feral dog was a pet.

Sebastian turned the photo in his fingers slowly, eyes on the clock as the hands slowly moved toward three. He tried sentence after sentence in his mind, but nothing seemed to fit. Whatever he did, the result would be the same. There was no best possible situation; it was the least of all evils. The hyena sighed and put the photo back down, just in time to hear the lift start humming up to his floor. His heart leapt, but he steeled himself just the same.

Soft twangs and metallic sounds indicated the lift's progress, and it stopped with a mechanical thunk just outside the kitchen hallway. Sebastian swept the magazine and photo off the table and under a pillow just as the lift opened. Kylo practically fell out onto the floor. He was in a hurry.

"Hi, pop!" he yelled across the room. Sebastian turned to see his son rummaging through the refrigerator for a snack.

"How was your day?" he asked. Thank God, it came out normal!

"Great. Aced my Algebra quiz, lunch sucked, and I'm going on a field trip so you need to sign a form. Hey, do we have any chips?"

"Good for you on the quiz; you sure studied hard enough. Sorry about lunch, leave the form on the counter, and they're in the cupboard over the sink, like always." This was the typical after-school discussion in the Blackbridge household: three or four unrelated remarks, and three or four replies, in the same order. "Hey, Kylo?"

"Wow, I didn't think we had Cheetos! Thanks, pop!" The kid grabbed the orange bag, ferreted a Coke from the fridge, and bolted up the stairs to his room without answering.

Sebastian sighed, feeling as if he had failed. Yes, he would have rather liked to take care of things down here, but that was not to be. Already his master plan had been foiled, so to speak. But he would not procrastinate, not on this. Whatever Kylo was doing could wait.

Up to the third floor he went, his concentration so precise he actually counted the stairs on his way up. There were twenty-seven...twenty-nine including the landings. This afternoon no music blared from his son's room, so at least he would be able to knock. The hallway loomed before him, the door at least a mile away.

He rapped on the door.

"Yeah?" came from the other side, sounding a little annoyed.

"Son, can I come in?" Smooth, you wanker. Now he knows something's wrong.

"Just a minute!" Kylo called, in his normal voice. Sebastian put his ear to the door. There was rustling, a cacophony of computer keys clicking, and the sound of a drawer being slid into place. The hyena chucked to himself, the tenuous situation lightening for a moment.

Boys will be boys.

He lingered on that thought, and it was just what he needed to get through this afternoon without screwing up his son. It had been the same way with him, too.

The door opened a crack and the end of Kylo's short muzzle poked through. "What's up, pop?"

"How am I supposed to tell you what's up if I can't come in?"

"Cuz it's messy, and I don't want you to see it."

"If I can wipe your arse for the first three years of your life, I can bloody well handle a messy room," Sebastian said, conveniently leaving out the part where he had already rifled through the room earlier.

Sebastian could practically hear his son blushing and rolling his eyes on the opposite side. "Aw, come on," he muttered, and opened up. He stood in jogging shorts and a plain white T-shirt, his usual comfort wear. The older hyena stepped into the room, and Kylo went back over to his computer, where he was currently talking to someone online. He commenced typing, ignoring his father for the time being.

The magazine was held behind his back, the photo tucked into the pocket of his pants. Its weight felt just right for some reason, like it was meant to be in his possession. That seemed totally implausible, but he smiled as he sat down on Kylo's bed, right next to the computer desk. His son now faced him almost directly, but his eyes were directed elsewhere.

"Oh, no way!" Kylo exclaimed at the screen. His eyes were dancing reflections; his fingers deftly worked the keys.

"What is it?" Sebastian inquired.

"Nothing." Absently.

"You can tell me. I want to know." Kylo kept typing, now so caught up in his conversation that it seemed to Sebastian as if he no longer existed in the room. He watched his son work, oblivious, and he could no longer stand to wait for the right moment. There was no right moment for this, so he made his move.

Sebastian took the rolled magazine from behind his back and whapped Kylo across the muzzle with it. The pages made a dry thwack, and the young hyena was snapped out of his electronic daze.

"Ow, hey! What didja do th..." Sebastian held the magazine by its spine and let it open; the centrefold revealed itself as if on cue. He couldn't have asked for a more perfect scene.

Kylo's frown melted from his face as his muzzle slackened. He grew rigid, his hands clamping on the armrests of his chair, the claws extending and retracting. His mouth hung gaping open in a rough O. The green eyes that he had inherited from his mother were dull and small, trapped. Sebastian didn't like the look of his son, and he took the magazine away.

A thin squeak came from Kylo, but he caught it and turned back to his computer screen. He stared at the keyboard, chest rising and falling visibly. His black ears lay flat on his head.

This was not what Sebastian had expected at all. Never in his life was he prepared for the fear and naked shame that was on his son's face. There was no fervent denial, no anger, not even a hint of self-righteousness. There was only horror in Kylo's expression. He realized that by showing Kylo he knew, he had taken the boy's whole world and crumbled it to pieces like so many autumn leaves.

Oh, what he must be going through his head right now, he thought. He must think I'm going to disown him, or beat him. That's not what I want at all!

Before he could speak, his son turned to look him in the eyes. He blinked, and twin tears fell gleaming into his lap. He blinked again, and two more joined them. Kylo was beyond crying, and had settled deeply into shock.

"Daddy..." the word came out meek and pleading. Kylo hadn't called Sebastian "Daddy" since he had turned eight, and on that eighth birthday he had promised never to say it again. He was a big boy now, he had said. But presently, Sebastian saw, he was helpless and needed a direction in which to turn. More tears stained his shorts; his claws dug into the plastic armrests.

Sebastian dropped to his knees in front of his son. "Kylo...oh, son, don't," he murmured as he laid his head in the wet lap, bringing his hands up around the kid's back and holding him. He didn't know what else he could do, and figured that this was one of those times where words don't work very well.

Kylo sat upright for a minute or so, but little by little he relaxed, never saying a word or uttering a sound. His body told a different story with its incessant shaking, and the countless tears that fell onto his head and into his father's ears. Sebastian remained in his son's lap, telling Kylo that it was okay, nothing would change, and that he still loved him. He surprised himself when he began to cry, adding to the growing stain on Kylo's shorts. The memories were in full effect, his words meant just as much for himself as the youth above him.

Finally, Sebastian lifted his head and sat back on his haunches, wiped his eyes and looked at his son. Seeing Kylo's matted muzzle and weary, bloodshot eyes was all he needed to see to know what he looked like at that moment, plus twenty-eight years for good measure. He managed a crooked, goofy smile through the last of his tears and chuckle-sobbed.

"I...*sniff*...I think we need to talk," he said. Kylo smiled back, showing his father that he realized all was not, in fact, lost, and that he realized Sebastian was not angry. A box of tissues was shared and emptied between them. The older hyena raised himself and sat on Kylo's bed, crossing his legs and patting the space next to him on the unmade sheets.

Kylo climbed beside him and pulled his knees to his chest, looking straight ahead. Despite the fact that the ice had been broken, they still needed to talk...about everything.

Sebastian decided to begin by being brutally honest. "I saw you on Saturday."

"I know, you were in the...oh. Oh, man." This, Kylo was not prepared to hear. Not only did his father know about him, but he had found out by stumbling in on him. He remembered the day, which seemed settled so innocently in the past. Now it was tinged with guilt. "How did you see me?"

"I was going to ask you if you wanted to take a shower first. Your music was up so loud that I had to open the door. I wouldn't have had to talk to you, but I saw the magazine on the floor. I'm glad I found it when I did. You know we would have had to talk about it sometime, right?"

Kylo kept staring ahead. He was thinking, temporarily lost in the little-boy world of mulling-things-over. He finally said, "Yes." It sounded painfully guilty.

The older hyena bent to pick up the magazine, rolled it up and patted Kylo's muzzle, trying to be playful this time, trying to soften the blow to come.

"Are you?"

That same horrified, vacant look crossed the boy's muzzle again, but this time it was a more diluted version. Kylo looked at the floor, up to the ceiling, over to his computer...anywhere but at his father. He wasn't thinking; he was trying to figure out how to say the one word that Sebastian already knew to be true.

"Yes," he mumbled, and his face quickly began working toward tears again. Sebastian took the young hyena's face and turned it to face his, then lifted his chin up. Kylo was sniffling and starting to sob, but he clamped the kid's mouth shut with fatherly sternness. His son's head bobbed and vibrated with trapped cries, which subsided into pathetic little whines.

"Kylo," said Sebastian, and when he received no response he shook the stubby muzzle for emphasis. "Kylo."

Finally he made eye contact. "I don't care. Do you hear me? I didn't come up here to be mad at you, or hit you, or say you're going to hell. You know I wouldn't do that, don't you?"

There was a long pause, then, when Sebastian released his mouth: "I didn't. I didn't know. You'd never said anything, and I wanted to keep it secret until I was older, you know? Just one more thing for you to deal with."

Sebastian scoffed. "Son, don't you ever worry about burdening me with your life. It's my job. It's what I signed on for when you were born. Come on, you mean much more to me than that." He pondered, and asked, "I've never told you what your name means, have I?"

"No," Kylo said, relieved for the change of subject.

"It comes from a long-lost African aborigine tongue. It's a contraction of 'Kyrulu Lo'ohnti', which means 'Gift from God'," the older hyena explained. "Since you were born in South Africa, and both your mother and I trace our parents back to this continent, we thought it fitting to give you a truly original and meaningful name."

"Wow. That's so cool."

"It also means that I wouldn't give you up for anything or for any reason. Nothing you could ever do would make me stop loving you. But you already knew that, didn't you?"

Kylo didn't answer. Instead, he looked into Sebastian's eyes as hard as he could. "I'm sorry, Dad. I should have told you."

"No, you shouldn't have," corrected his father. "You would have told me eventually; it's my fault I saw you and we had to have this whole discussion. But now we can put that unfortunate mess behind us, because it's already happened, and move on to other things."

The youth was dubious and wary now, not knowing what was next. How much, exactly, did his father know? "Like what?"

"Well, for example, are you gay or bi?" The hyena pulled the photo from his pocket and set it down between them. Kylo's shoulders slumped, and he shrugged helplessly. "And who's this?"

Kylo was surprised by Sebastian's candid use of words that were usually taboo, and because it was the first time he'd ever heard anything of the sort uttered by his father. Nevertheless, it made him comfortable around his old man, and he liked it. "That's Ian. I met him at school, and we just kind of hooked up on the sly. His parents are cool with us. He'll be glad that I told you...er, that you found out." The youth felt better, having his boyfriend out in the open. The dormant guilt had gone. "And I'm pretty sure I'm just gay," he continued. "I've never been with a girl, but I just don't want to, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." It was out before he could catch himself. Sebastian had let the conversation grow familiar, and he'd forgotten to keep his guard up regarding his past. Now there was no taking the comment back, and he flinched when Kylo spoke.

"What...what do you mean?"

Sebastian swung his body around, crossed legs and all, to face the boy. He took the smaller hands into his and kept his gaze on his bare feet. "Son, there's something you should know about me. Since we're sharing so openly this afternoon, I think I owe it to you to let you know that I'm bi."

"You? Bi?" Kylo asked incredulously. At this point there wasn't much shock; both of them had been washed emotionally clean already. All that remained was curiosity. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Now the tables were turned. Sebastian treaded lightly. "That was a long time ago. It ended when I married your mother, and I never saw reason to tell anyone. I couldn't even tell Mom, but-"he looked up-"I suppose she knows everything now."

"Everything about what?" asked Kylo, excited about this new side of his father. He and Sebastian didn't have much in common, but this...this was such a big deal!

The older hyena sighed. Okay, here it comes. "Waaaaay back when I was a student at Oxford in the UK, I was a freshman without direction. I was failing some of my classes, and I was deathly afraid to tell my father that my marks weren't up to snuff. Then, one day, I went to tutoring for Calculus I." He paused to look at Kylo's disbelief that he could fail at anything.

"Anyway, I was in tutoring and this junior walks in, and begins to teach me. Half the time I was taking notes, and the other half I was taking him in. I'd had experiences before, with females, but this was new to me. I realized that I was attracted to a man. Eventually he caught on, and told me he had taken an interest in me as well. He started tutoring me in my dormitory, and it led to a relationship."

Kylo's eyes shined, begging the obligatory question. Sebastian continued. "Yes, son, we became lovers. It was...incredible, to say the least. Not like that, mind you, it was the way he devoted himself to me, and the lengths to which he would go to impress me. He taught me not to be ashamed of myself or my attractions. I needed his guidance. He was truly the love of my life, until I met Celeste."

"Who was he?" asked the young hyena next to him.

Sebastian's eyes became misty at once; he knew this would happen, but it didn't make the recollection any less difficult. "Raol Marlin."

There was a gasp from beside him. Of course Kylo knew Raol, for most of his life. He had been "Uncle" Raol, until...

The tears fell freely, but when Sebastian spoke his voice was calm and steady. "Now you know the ultimate secret of my life, Kylo. Raol and I were lovers, and almost mates. We were together through school, and after. We shared a flat for a few years until I met Celeste. We had an open relationship so we could experience the world outside of each other. The reason we didn't stay together was that I was bisexual, and wanted a family. Raol wasn't ready to settle down, but eventually he did, much later.

"We talked it over. The night I proposed to your mother, I moved out of Raol's apartment and into her house. He was so happy for me; you could see it in his eyes. He understood, and he was happy."

Kylo stayed quiet, awed by his father's emotional story. "He came to the wedding, and we...got together off and on for the first couple of years of our marriage. When you were born, I had to call it quits with Raol, because I had you to keep me busy. Shortly thereafter, he got transferred to the States. I got to visit him on business trips, but we never did anything. I think it was kind of an unspoken rule, now that I had a child. Then...well, he called me on September 4th, 2001, so excited about his new job in the World Trade Center."

Sebastian fell silent, because Kylo knew the rest of the story. He'd been home from school only an hour, and was watching television when the news report came on. He remembered trying to call his father, but not being able to get through. Sebastian had returned home two days later, but he'd had to fly back in mid-October after Raol's body had been found and identified. It was something he tried hard never to think about. He was so lost in thought that he barely noticed that his father was crying all over again.

"I have dreams all the time, Kylo," the big hyena sobbed. "I don't know why, but I can't stop having these nightmares." He leaned on his son's shoulder and let go completely for a moment. Any other time he would have been embarrassed, but it was relieving this time. In typical grown-man fashion, he abruptly sat up, brushed his face off, sniffed hard, and composed himself. Kylo was too stunned by this soul-baring to say a thing.

And then, just as sudden as a gust of wind, Sebastian began to smile and stare at nothing in particular. Kylo thought his old man may be going crazy.

"Dad," he said, "what's going on? Are you okay?"

"Actually, I'm more than okay. I think I may finally be on top of this. I know it sounds crazy, but since I saw you last weekend I haven't had a dream since. I've slept so well."

"I noticed," Kylo allowed. "You were all shiny when you came in here. I thought you were having a mid-life crisis or something."

Sebastian had to laugh a little at this. "I think this is my mid-life crisis. It's not much of a crisis anymore, is it?"

Kylo agreed, and after the two had laughed at their combined fortune and misfortune, Sebastian returned to that vacant look of nostalgia again. He was gazing into space, and then his eyes closed. He sat there, in front of his son, rocking gently back and forth on the bed, and smiling mischievously. He poked his father's shoulder, which was incredibly warm to the touch, and asked, "What are you thinking about now, Dad?"

The older hyena came back to earth and blushed deeply, his fur seeming to glow amber. The feeling was unbelievable, like a scrim had been removed from his inner eye. He was supposed to be sad, but the tears would no longer come. The picture was perfect for the first time: a young bobcat, stretched elegantly on their shared bed back at Oxford. His smile was comforting; his eyes beckoned the hyena closer. Could he have ever imagined hate in those eyes? Or had it been his own guilty imagination?

His son faded almost entirely away, and Sebastian could just barely hear Raol whispering. The words were indistinguishable, but it was the voice of his former lover. And suddenly he was next to Raol on the bed, floating in the way only dreams can provide. That gentle, spotted hand reached out slowly...its heat was fleeting but so close, settling between his legs and he was free...

"Dad?"

Sebastian blinked twice and the vision faded. Traces of heat remained in his groin, but when he looked down at himself he realized it was from his own body and not Raol's skilled hand. His denim shorts were uncomfortably tight; the rigid form of his cock throbbed along his thigh. He settled back against the wall, blushing terribly and giggled.

"I was just remembering," he said in a voice tinged with odd pride, marveling at the ease with which he spoke. "I used to be able to do what you were doing...fellating yourself. Raol taught me yoga to help, and I was so happy the day it finally happened. This old body, though...I'm not much for stretching anymore." He pawed at himself without realizing it.

Kylo stared with thinly-veiled wonder at the person who used to be his father. What he saw was nostalgia incarnate; the power of the past to change the man was astounding. He finally realized the utter importance of his father's life, and how he was able to provide for his son by being the person he'd become. It was all significant, and Raol had played a major part in creating that life. All of this he could see, just by observing Sebastian's posture and expression. That, and the unmistakable excitation of them both now. Kylo adjusted himself.

There seemed nothing could dampen the older hyena's newfound spirit. Blood flushed his entire body; his head swam trying to cope with the onrush. He seemed to swell visibly, and at last he knew what was happening: it had been so long, but it was unmistakable. Sebastian was feeling what he had felt the first time Raol had crossed the invisible line from tutor to something much more...that stirring, heart-racing unfamiliar touch.

He shuddered violently at the recollection of such a powerful image, like recoiling from the shock of testing a live circuit. He was too hot, too uncomfortable to deal with so much recall at once. The hyena fumbled with the button and zipper of his shorts and ripped them down and to the floor, carrying his boxers as well. His shirt joined them not a second later, and suddenly he sat in front of his son: nude, sweating and as erect as he could be.

Kylo was slack-jawed. Never before had he seen such an example of unbridled lust. It was impossible to take his eyes away from the panting canine before him. This couldn't be his father; how had he failed to notice just how good he looked for his age? How...how hot?

He remembered the night he had taken the photo of Ian and his dog, Togo, by the boulders. Just minutes after the shutter snapped, Ian had mounted him in the post-dusk glow. Togo had joined in too, mounting Ian and setting off a chain reaction. That night he had lost his virginity.

"I'm...I'm sorry, son," Sebastian managed to say in between ragged breaths. "I'm afraid my past just caught up to me, with a vengeance." An odd smile crossed his muzzle, one of slight embarrassment but also of total and utter relief. He felt like a kid again, and his cock showed it. The hyena made no move to hide it, though; such a reaction would have been purely superfluous.

"It's not a problem, Dad. Really." Now conscious of staring at his father, Kylo forced his eyes away. Suddenly the blanket in front of him was the most important thing in the world. That, and the ample bulge in his shorts.

Sebastian couldn't erase the images from his mind. Kylo took the least of his attention; now, Raol and Oxford were playing. All their midnight trysts, the hours spent fondling each other in dark movie theatres, stolen kisses and love letters. The night Raol had claimed him for the first time, and how he had forever associated Blondie's "Call Me" with howling himself hoarse as his cock soaked the sheets below without the aid of his hand.

He looked between his legs. The pink shaft of flesh stood out from his groin, pointing proudly at the ceiling. For the first time he realized that it looked the same as it always had. Age had not seemed to touch it like it had the rest of his body, albeit in small doses. It was the strongest link to his past, and it had shown that many times this last week. Kylo had been the catalyst, was all.

There was something he had to try, for old times' sake. Sebastian already felt full to bursting with sexual tension. Raol urged him on from within his memory, or beyond the grave, or both. It didn't look that far away. But would his stomach take it?

Kylo still averted his eyes, satisfied to stare at his hidden erection. It quickly became mesmeric to him, but his ears caught a strained grunt from nearby, and he had to break his concentration. He gawked in silence, not as shocked as he should have been. After all, it was just another in a series of fortunate events seeing his father, the big and practical business-minded man he looked up to, dipping his muzzle toward his crotch and flicking the tip of his tongue across his own cockhead.

The older hyena strained against his unwilling chest, using muscles he didn't know he had. Legs spread wide, he bobbed and breathed, and bobbed again. He tried to thrust upward, freeing as much as possible from his sheath. It was so close, but only a few centimetres or so was reachable, and then only barely by his tongue. He held his breath for one last push, almost closed his lips around the leaking tip, but sprung back like a stiff mattress.

"That was awesome!" exclaimed the youth beside him, and Sebastian remembered that he was in full view of his son. He turned to face a smiling hyena, his expression so impressed that he looked much like an innocent cub again. "I never knew you could do that."

"I...*pant*...can't. Used to, but I need help if I'm ever going to be that flexible again."

Kylo snickered. "Well, you're doing it wrong, for one thing."

Sebastian gave his son a skeptical look, but his face softened when he realized that Kylo was right. There was no disagreement on that. He smiled at the thought, his eyes met those deep emerald orbs, and he glimpsed the need reflected back to him in the fading afternoon light. It felt inappropriate but also necessary: Sebastian was pleading with his son, and he realized that some force, whether it was Raol or anything else, held him both helpless and willful.

The ensuing silence was claustrophobic. Kylo knew that at this point, anything was possible, so he threw caution to the wind and took advantage of his dad's compromising position. "I can show you how to do it right, so you don't screw your back up," he said in a voice so laced with saccharin it made his heartbeat grow to a seismic tremor in his head.

Reality smacked into Sebastian with gut-wrenching force. Suddenly he was supposed to be the parent, to draw the line between family and something more. Until today, that line had been visible and unapproachable. Until today, father and son had known almost nothing about each other. Kylo had opened a long-avoided door in his soul, and set him free from the guilt of so much loss. The line didn't seem important anymore, and he could see that Kylo was offering to cross from one side. The line just...wasn't there, and the older hyena had no regrets. All he had to do was meet his son halfway, and from there anything could happen.

Things would change.

Maybe things had needed to change for a long time.

Sebastian scooted closer to his son and leaned forward, taking the smaller hand in his. "Would you, Kylo? I don't want to make you do anything uncom-"

A frown soured the young hyena's face, making him look older for a moment. Suddenly he bent and kissed Sebastian, the lips first brushing and then gently tugging at his own as he pulled away.

"Don't be a baby, Dad. I want to." Sebastian saw the matter-of-factness of his look and knew his son was quite wiser than he suspected. He watched as Kylo removed his clothing, out of curiosity more than attraction. The young boy was toned from an active extracurricular life and a natural love of athletics. He was a bit skinny for his height, but puberty had a way of doing strange things. It was no wonder the wolf in the picture had been attracted to him. A quick glance downward assured him that his son would no doubt inherit a good-sized sheath and its contents; nothing special, but better than average.

Kylo crawled onto the bed again, and Sebastian told himself now was the time to stop with the giddy feelings of his former virgin self and accept his decision and his son's willingness to help him. He sat up and shrugged.

"So, what do I do first?"

"Well, you saw me the other day, right?"

"Yes."

"Get on your back, and lift your tail up to the ceiling, letting your legs fall back." Sebastian did as instructed, using his hands to prop his buttocks up and stretching his legs for gravity to pull down to the bed. They came down about halfway to the sheets and stuck there, the hyena gasping air into his compacted lungs. The stiffness was more from nonuse than age, because no joints creaked and protested the extreme position.

"Now what?" he asked, staring down his muzzle at the cock just a few centimetres away. It was so close, and a drop of clear fluid fell onto his snout.

"Is that as far as you can go?" Kylo asked, as if everyone on the planet but Sebastian could suck themselves off. He knew the answer, and positioned himself so that he squatted on his knees at Sebastian's head, and took hold of his dangling feet. Applying a little weight at a time, he stretched his father's legs down in short bobs, each time gaining precious ground.

The pain was sharp but bearable, and Sebastian was glad for the workout he wouldn't have been able to achieve on his own. His cock came closer to his nose each time, but he stared up at another. Kylo's ten-centimetre erection was directly above his face, and each time his legs came down the boy would grunt and that little member would give a jump. The young hyena shifted forward, so Sebastian took advantage and licked its underside tenderly.

Kylo froze, his eyes closed as he moaned low and automatically. He looked down and saw his father staring cubbishly back at him. Couldn't help it, that look said. Grinning and not complaining at all, he stretched Sebastian's legs once more, slowly and steadily, until the claws on his toes touched the bed. He put his weight down and held his father captive there.

Sebastian struggled to breathe through his nose, because his lips were locked around his doggish cockhead for the first time in almost twenty years. His legs burned but the muscles slowly gave way to the pressure of Kylo's weight. Sucking with abandon, he pulled more of himself into his muzzle, coating his tongue with precum. The scent of it ran down his throat and invaded his nose like cologne.

Amused and aroused by the sight before him, the young hyena held still and watched the thick cock slide in between Sebastian's open lips and in between his teeth. He admired the flexibility of his father's body, and how easily it had been to bend him double. It was incomprehensible that both of them had done this as kids. To him it was just like playtime with Ian, just boys fooling around and enjoying each other's company and bodies. Still, he couldn't deny the fact that he liked this new, freer side of Dad.

Seeing the older hyena occupied, Kylo moved his hands up the taut legs and to his upper thighs, bending over as he did so. Now his muzzle was right up near the V of his groin. The furry sac drooped over Sebastian's sheath and his tail arched in the opposite direction, wagging lazily. The perineum and tailhole were fully exposed, and Kylo saw the pucker twitching as the form under him twitched and flexed.

A second later a tongue flicked out, tentatively tasted the air. Everything smelled of male and maturity. Kylo swiped across Sebastian's scrotum and trailed a wet line up to his tailhole, making him shiver and spit himself out.

"Oh, Lord, son!" gasped the hyena.

Kylo took this as encouragement and started to work the area over with tenacity. He groomed the short fuzz on the sac, noticed the way the fur retreated into the skin the closer he got to the pucker, and the tension with which his father resisted his tongue. Tasting him in such a way gave the youth a kind of strength, as if taken in by osmosis, and urged him to continue. Soon the tailhole was slathered in saliva, and Sebastian worked his cock over feverishly.

The older hyena's back ached so much he could feel his pulse in his spine and in the blood pooled in his head, but neither seemed as important as the view he had at the moment. Down his length and between his legs, which he had now bent so his knees touched the bed on either side of his head, he could see up his son's flat beige chest to the underside of his neck. The short muzzle was obscured by his balls, but he knew by the feelings from his tailhole that he was getting quite the tongue bath. He couldn't resist the urge to crane his neck backwards and inhale Kylo's penis, which was directed almost straight down anyway.

The little member was easy to fit entirely in the warm wetness of his muzzle. He curled his tongue and slid it along the underside of the shaft, shorter and thinner than his own so it almost wrapped all the way around. An alto rumble shook the youth deeply and he began to hump down into his throat.

"Man, you're better than Togo..." Kylo trailed off, and Sebastian wondered who Togo was for just a moment, but he was distracted by the sudden insertion of a claw into his hole. Teeth bit into Kylo's flesh just lightly, but he yipped just the same and did not remove his claw. Instead he shoved his hips down further and sank his first knuckle into the hot passage.

Sebastian let Kylo do all the work for him, content to lay there and enjoy the attention his rear end was getting and taking in the scent of his rutting offspring. But when the finger was hilted inside of him, crooking and brushing his prostate, the intensity was too much. He pushed up on the hips above his head and Kylo complied by pulling his dripping member out and taking over with his free hand. The older hyena rocked back even farther, and three-quarters of his cock were back in his muzzle.

The first finger was soon joined by a second, just as far in, and smoothly buggered the already excited hyena. Kylo pawed with his eyes closed, sensing the smooth slipperiness of his father's saliva on his cock and the fast, strong beat on his fingers inside the hot hole. He added his weight to the rocking motion, observing more and more cock disappear until finally Sebastian's lips touched the fur of his sheath and bunched it up like a sock each time he bottomed out.

Struggling to keep from choking, Sebastian worked his throat muscles loose and allowed the tapered head to ease further into him. He breathed around it, and shuddered when a swallow milked a stream of fluid into his gullet. His sheath fuzz tickled the tip of his snout and was quickly matted down. Kylo kept pressing into him with those expert fingers, touching opposite sides of his tailhole, then rotating around inside it.

His balls retracted, starting the wave of pleasure that built from his loins and radiated to his cock, which swelled larger and larger in his mouth. The older hyena opened his eyes again, and seeing his son masturbating above him was enough for sensory overload. He backed off of his member until just the head was nestled between his teeth. He bit down hard, something he just remembered was a favorite of his and Raol's back at college. The pain melted into his overriding orgasm. A low grunt and a moan were cut short by a flood of cum in his muzzle, most of the initial shots sliding right over his tongue. His legs relaxed and the rest of his load covered his face and neck, soaking right away into the sweaty fur there.

Kylo's hand left his own shaft and went directly to his father's when he saw him climaxing. The flesh was rock-solid, and he loved the feeling of the big hyena's member, felt the jets of canine cum race through its length and coat his hand and Sebastian's head. He removed his fingers and a tremble of relaxation overcame the form beneath him. The youth backed off and fell heavily onto the bed.

Finally free of his son's body weight, Sebastian licked his tip once more before stretching out again. His back felt like it was folding onto itself, the skin and fur stretched taut, but it was so wonderful to have the pressure off most of his body. For a full minute there was no sound at all, save for one hyena's slowing pants and another's shifting movements in the messed-up sheets.

The mattress next to his face plunged downward, and soon Kylo had crawled on top of the larger hyena, hugging him tight around his chest and nuzzling his still-sticky neck. Sebastian embraced his son tightly, pulling the boy up close and licking at his ears, head and muzzle affectionately. There were so many words he wanted to speak, but saying them would feel wrong, somehow. His still-hard member bobbed and brushed Kylo's tailhole, but neither felt the contact.

At last they pulled apart just enough so that their noses were almost touching. This time Sebastian was the one to initiate the kiss by licking his son's exposed teeth and the underside of his upper lip. Kylo responded by inhaling sharply, eyes closed, and letting his father take control. Hands ran through fur, tongues clashed and wrapped around inside muzzles. It was a kiss of the utmost adoration and respect, a silent thank-you for a favor long-desired.

"I love you, Kylo," Sebastian said, as if the kiss hadn't said it well enough.

The younger hyena ground his hips into his father's stomach, enjoying the soft caress of fur on his cock between them. "Ah, Dad, why'd you have to spoil it?" he complained, rolling his eyes. He saw the look on Sebastian's face and he became serious, first thinking, then smiling. "I love you too. But we don't need to say it."

"You're right. After all of that, I don't think anything needs discussion. I'm certainly not paying my therapist seventy-five dollars an hour anymore." Sebastian chuckled. Who needed therapy when his son could make him come to terms with his past in the course of one afternoon?

Kylo sat up on his father's chest and looked down at him. "That was amazing. I've never seen anybody get into it that much. You really soaked yourself."

"Don't expect that to be an everyday occurrence, boy," chided the older hyena. "That was the result of years upon years of built up emotions and stress, stuff I hope you never have to experience. Thanks to you, all of that is gone." Kylo blushed humbly, but Sebastian continued. "I have no idea how you did it, but...it's been just what I've needed."

"Dad."

"I mean, it's not a turning around point or anything, but-"

"Dad!"

Sebastian stopped when Kylo put a hand over his mouth to hush him.

"Quit it. Stop talking for once, and just feel good, for a change. Okay?"

There was a pause, then: "Okay." The older hyena admired Kylo's simplistic view of life versus his own, complicated and often sullied opinions worn ragged by experience. He felt young, that was true. But he still longed for that mindset, the uncorrupted continuous positive outlook, simple and rose-coloured. He knew that was totally impractical, but it didn't mean he couldn't covet it.

Sebastian gave one last squeeze to his deflated member, and his hand came back covered in an ample amount of seed. Duly impressed, he brought a finger to his mouth and tasted. He then smeared the entire glob in between Kylo's legs, sliding over his cock and watching bemusedly as the young boy stiffened and gasped at the touch. The high-pitched moan escaped again from Kylo, ending in a feral bark-growl so totally unexpected that Sebastian saw a bit of his African heritage in the face of his son. He squeezed the little hyena's cock a few more times and pushed Kylo off to the side.

"Hey-" he started, but didn't resist as Sebastian was suddenly kneeling over him. "Aren't you tired yet?"

A look of lustful menace came into the older hyena's eyes, and his smile was big enough to make Kylo wary of his intentions. A smile that big could come from both a grandmother and a murderer. Sebastian leaned in and muttered into one perked ear.

"I owe you, son. I owe you a lot more than you know, but you told me to quit and so I shall."

His hand went again to Kylo's crotch, and after hearing a satisfied grunt he continued: "Don't think I'm going to let you help turn my life around without a reward. Ever since my relationship with Raol changed, I've wanted to do something again. And ever since I saw you last week, I've been thinking about doing that with you...for you."

Sebastian collected the pillows from the bed and piled them up, flopping down onto them so that his rump was raised. He gripped the sheets and planted his feet, spread his legs and raised his short tail, wagging side to side, its little black tuft swerving like a miniature feather duster. That little pink hole was visible yet again, still a bit stretched from Kylo's fingers.

"Please," he said. "Humour your old man."

At once Kylo was behind him, his hand using the ample cum from Sebastian to lubricate the whole of his member. He stopped to taste the pucker once again, savoring Sebastian's essence and making the older hyena moan into the bed. Drool shined off his fangs, dripped onto his tongue and onto the tailhole. He was entranced by the opportunity before him...was he really going to mount his own father? Wasn't there some rule against that?

How many "rules" had they already broken?

The young, hot canine crawled his way on his knees up to the buttocks spread before him. His cock was on a line equal to the waiting hole, and he wasted no time in applying pressure, coaxing the ring to open around him. Sebastian hissed in air at the unexpected pain, but settled once Kylo's smallish head had penetrated him. Another memory washed up on the shores of his overused mind, of the night he had been deflowered. They hyena hadn't been thinking, hadn't been nervous, and everything happened just as it should have: without awkwardness, or pain, or regret. Now was the second time he had felt that way.

Kylo shifted closer, inching into his father's tight passage, mind ablaze from the heat around his cock., until his short, light pubic fur met the older hyena's backside. He withdrew just slightly and pushed again, widening his passage. Sebastian stayed silent under him, passively enjoying himself.

Without the girth of a fully-grown cock, Kylo could easily thrust his entire length into the tailhole, and it didn't take him long to get up to speed. Unlike when he was with Ian, he didn't have to worry about pulling out too far and having to reinsert himself. With his father, there was more than enough room for comfort. He watched his pink shaft rapidly pistoning into the flesh, marveling at how Sebastian clenched and seemed to suck and squeeze him each time he pulled out.

His head buried in the bed, Sebastian panted hotly and focused on the cock inside him. Kylo moved incredibly fast, humping into a blur and making them both shake on the mattress. Breath whistled through the youth's teeth as he clenched his jaw in concentration, and every so often he would double-thrust, an erratic indicator of impending climax.

The young hyena now stopped long enough to stand and lean over his father, never once losing the tie between them. He bent over the broad back and defined muscles, hands on Sebastian's thighs, and turned his head to one side, closing his eyes. The older hyena's tail swishing over his neck, Kylo felt the first odd surges of the power of being dominant; of taking another and claiming him as his own. The father-son relationship dissolved for the moment as the pleasure from his cock built; he resumed thrusting, even faster now that he had a better angle. Soon he was lost to his fantasies, all of his thoughts focused on one ultimate and basic goal.

The scent of sex in the room grew desperate, cloying. Lazy, diffuse, normal afternoon light streamed shadowlessly through Kylo's bedroom windows and played over the two combined bodies. One growled into the bed, backing and raising his rump, trying for the deepest possible penetration, telling the other he was to be used as he saw fit. The other clawed at heaving flesh, whimpered and whined shrilly as he now pounded away furiously, his whole world reduced to his cock and ecstasy so powerful it bordered on pain. Teeth bared by both of them, one muzzle slack, the other gritted shut, the air thickened measurably toward completion.

Kylo, now only aware of his body and nothing else, tried to form words but succeeded in emitting sounds he thought he was incapable of making. It was as if some secondary voice box had opened in his throat, one reserved only for occasions when speech was not required. He imagined himself on an immense sub-Saharan plain at dusk, a roaring fire and a bedroll. His cries filled the night sky as he claimed his prize, what rightfully belonged to him, as a part of him, and he knew in his heart that there could never be a female. Nothing had ever seemed so right.

And so he came back to his time, his room, and opened his eyes. The young hyena was vaguely aware that tears were streaming down his muzzle, but he didn't know why. His father crouched motionless below him, his head now raised and extended in pleasure. The strong, thick neck jerked and his cock was abruptly trapped in a tight cocoon. Could he have caused Sebastian to come again? But he saw both of his hands clenching the sheets, curling just like his toes did when he pawed off...

The boy's hands went to Sebastian's upraised neck and held it in an almost choking fashion, but he wasn't tall enough to reach that far. He pulled himself farther up, his hips erratically slapping against the older hyena's rear end. Kylo's cock pulsed on an in-thrust, and he wondered how he could be coming without having approached orgasm yet. A moment later he didn't have to worry, because the familiar wave of bliss welled up from his pained testicles and struck him with such force that he had to stop altogether. Sebastian flexed his tailhole hard and reached back under his belly, gripping the twitching member and feeling it shoot into him, milking the boy as he jerked and whined on his back.

Kylo's cock enlarged through the climax; he sensed every contour of his father, and both of their syncopated heartbeats. Finally the spurts seemed to die and it wasn't until then he realized he had been holding his breath. For that moment in time, the young hyena sensed everything: perspiration dripping and soaking the fur of Sebastian's back and the bed, his father's labored breaths and clenching tailhole, his claws digging into the flesh of that thick neck, and both of their tensed and trembling bodies.

He voided his lungs and lay flat, breathing into the spotted fur, matting it with drool and humid breath. Air rushed into him, blood drained from somewhere else, and blue-black dots swam and combined to block his vision. There was a sense of numbness and soft closure as Kylo fainted, grateful and drained, still inside of Sebastian.

* * *

Someone was pounding on his head, but he tried to ignore it anyway. Raol was busily masturbating him in the middle of a crowded subway. In the back of his mind he knew it was a dream, but that didn't mean he wanted it to end. Of course, no one paid him any mind, so he was content to let his pink cock be stroked by his old friend in full view.

Pfunk!

The subway car started to dissolve and became transparent, a hazy sheet of white nothingness struggling to show through.

Pfunk!

Raol's hand still held his member, but all touch had faded away to that same nothingness. White noise invaded his head, and he realized with growing dismay that it was the sound of his ceiling fan...in the real world.

Pfunk!

The white haze was all that was left. It turned a pastel peach colour, the colour of the insides of his eyelids. He was awake now.

Pfunk!

"Dammit, boy!" Sebastian yelled into the only pillow to be rescued from Kylo's grasp. "I was dreaming! Do you think that happens very often at my age?" He opened his eyes to see his son staring at him, clothed in only his fur, shining brilliantly in the morning's harsh sunshine and holding a very guilty-looking pillow over his head.

"Get a life, Dad. You're only as old as you feel. By now I hope you feel a little younger. You don't have to come today if you're going to complain. I can drive the boat by myself."

Sebastian sat bolt upright at this statement. There was no way he would let Kylo sail his private yacht without his strict supervision. "You go nowhere without me. I'm still your father."

The boy giggled and bent to kiss his cheek. At least he could act his age and not worry about it.

"I'm hungry," Kylo called over his shoulder as he left to get dressed. "Fix me something."

"You're grounded!" Sebastian called back halfheartedly, but he was already up and stretching the night away. Getting used to sharing a bed again had taken a toll on his sleep, but having a warm body next to him was more important. What little sleep he got was deep and dreamless, and he managed to wake rested each morning. He would get used to it eventually, like all things.

When he made it to the kitchen, dressed only in a black silk robe, Kylo was watching TV in the other room. "What time is Ian getting here?" he called out.

"I told him to stop by around eleven, so we could have lunch on the boat," came the distracted reply.

Even though that was a good three hours away, Sebastian still felt a twinge of nervous anticipation. Today he would meet Kylo's boyfriend, the sixteen-year-old wolf who was the subject of the infamous photograph.

The morning after that special night more than a week ago, both hyenas had awakened to a new, more open relationship. Neither one had spoken of his emotions regarding that night, or anything else. They hadn't needed to, because they both knew how they felt, and that whatever line that had been there had been obliterated. It didn't matter anymore, though; Sebastian had always wanted to be close to his son, and now that had happened, filling the voids left by Raol and Celeste quite well. His past wasn't forgotten, but it was healed.

Sebastian had questioned Kylo thoroughly about Ian, but he was careful not to be too authoritative. Kylo had met his wolf two months ago at school, and the friendship had stumbled into a relationship during a night of "experimenting." By the way the young hyena talked about Ian, he could tell they truly were lovers, and he admired such a commitment between two very young people. It killed Sebastian to know that someday that heart might be broken, and prayed it would not be for a long, long time.

Kylo had told Ian about the whole "dad thing," as he called it (the boy had been chatting to the wolf online when Sebastian had batted him with the incriminating magazine), and Ian thought he was the most awesome father in the world. Flattered, Sebastian had invited him for a day out on the Cape of Good Hope in his eleven-metre yacht. The wolf had accepted without hesitation, of course.

Breakfast came and went, father and son eating in front of the television and fighting over the remote control. Kylo retired to his room to clean it before Ian arrived, and Sebastian decided to take a long, water-wasteful shower. For some reason, he wanted to do a full-body exfoliation and conditioning to look good for Ian. It didn't make sense, because as the father, he was the one supposedly sizing up his son's lover...not the other way around.

The older hyena was just finishing putting his best cologne on when the visitor chime sounded from street-level. He heard Kylo run to the lift door and buzz the lock open, followed by a gentle hum as the lift rose to the third tier of the penthouse.

In the lift, Ian adjusted his hair and smoothed his ears, watching his reflection in the mirrored door. The upward motion stopped, and the wolf looking back at him split to reveal a carpeted suspended walkway of stainless steel and glass, an expansive view of the penthouse levels...and a very happy hyena standing right in front of him.

"Ian." And then Kylo was in his arms, hugging him tightly, pulling him into a long-overdue kiss. Ian embraced his love, looked into the deepest green eyes he had ever seen, and sighed. It was a sigh common to them both: it was unbelief, at having found such a special person so early in their lives.

"I think I like you already," said a deep voice from down the hallway, and both boys turned, still embraced, to see Sebastian standing stiffly in full sailing regalia. His white shirt, navy slacks and matching blazer were pressed to within an inch of their lives, cufflinks and buttons shimmering gold, and a red, white and blue ascot puffed up under his cream-coloured chin.

Kylo rolled his eyes and giggled at his father's effort to show off. "Ian, may I introduce my father, the illustrious captain Sebastian Blackbridge of the P.Y. Celeste's Solace." Sarcasm tainted his voice.

The wolf stepped forward and shook the big canine's hand, matching him grip for grip. "It's nice to finally meet you, sir. I've heard such good things from your son," he said, fully aware of the double-entendre of his words. His voice carried a hackneyed accent.

Sebastian was impressed by the strength of Ian's hand, and as the wolf introduced himself he noted the shiny silver fur and pale eyes, and the two odd streaks of black that adorned the sides of his muzzle. "And I you, my boy. Always nice to meet someone under such positive circumstances." He turned to Kylo. "Is everything ready and packed?"

The young hyena nodded.

"Good. Then, I think it's time we got underway. Shall we, gentlemen?" Sebastian asked in a snobbish tone.

The boys agreed, and they headed to the kitchen to gather their things.

* * *

In the rearview mirror, he could see Kylo and Ian holding hands in the back seat. Ever since leaving the house, their eyes had never faltered. Sebastian truly admired his son. So much had he learned in the past two weeks, and seeing his boy so happy taught him that he had something to look forward to after all. Before, his past had haunted him. Now he couldn't wait to see what the future held. Kylo was growing up faster than he wanted, but just seeing him smile was enough to set his soul at rest.

The silver BMW 760i sailed effortlessly through town and arrived at the yacht club just before noon. Sebastian steered the cumbersome vehicle easily into his reserved space and the three got out. The picnic supplies were carried out to the dock, and the older hyena guided the boys to Pier 3, where Celeste's Solace was moored.

"Holy shit," murmured Ian, and clapped a hand over his mouth at the obscenity. Kylo hugged him, having seen the same reaction from many of his other friends. The wolf was unbelievably cute that way.

The yacht gleamed bright white in the Southern Hemisphere sun, which reflected off the teal waters of the harbor and threw wavy patterns on the hull. She was covered with a navy vinyl top, her upper structure clear of sails or masts. She was fully petrol-powered, her sleek shape adorned with laminated teak decks and nothing else more than the required railings.

"Kylo, could you get the top off? I need to store this food before it gets too warm," said Sebastian. Ian helped, and the boat was uncovered and aired out within minutes. The food was stored in the refrigerator, the twin turbo engines and pumps were started, and the boat rumbled in the water.

As soon as Sebastian had changed into a more comfortable silk sailing shirt, he came up onto the main deck. Climbing up into the captain's station, he put a hand on the throttle and prepared to cast off. Kylo and Ian were on the front deck, wrestling and coming perilously close to the bow port over the master suite, having already cast the mooring lines onto the pier.

"Are you two quite done? I would suggest sitting down." He punched the throttle and the boys fell onto the deck, laughing and crawling over each other. They held tight, and within seconds the Solace was underway and speeding out to open water.

The sun shone down between white fluffy clouds onto the undulating waves, parted rudely by the bow of the speeding yacht. The mainland shrank away from the stern, and soon Sebastian could see the curvature of the earth before him. He looked down and smiled to himself. The young hyena and wolf had doffed their clothes and already succumbed to the motion of the sea and midday warmth. Intertwined in each other's arms and wearing only sleek Speedos, they looked like they had been together for years. They looked like he and Raol used to look.

A tear pricked his eye, and he shook it away. It was incongruous with the mood of the day. "I never saw this coming. If you had, dear, I wish you would have told me," he said, thinking of his wife and the spirit of her which still permeated the yacht. "It may not have been any easier, but I'll never know, will I? I hope I'm doing the right thing."

Celeste didn't answer, but he remembered something Raol had said a lifetime ago, one night as they lay side by side in the foggy hillsides of Oxford. "There's no way to know if you will succeed in all you do," he'd said, turning to embrace a certain young, frightened, horny hyena. "You can just do your best and hope the rest of the way."

The two boys slept on the bow. Sebastian pushed the throttle to its stop, feeling the adrenaline rush enhance his newfound satisfaction. The clouds parted, paving the way forward. I'm doing my best, Celeste, he thought. And it may finally be starting to work.

FIN

9/24-10/17/04