Light and Darkness
#4 of The Prisoner
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WARNING - This chapter contains mild references to homosexuality and
love between a sentient, intelligent wolf-man and a human. Any who
would be insulted by this, or any children under 18 years of age (or 21
in certain areas) should NOT read this story, and by reading past this
point, you afirm that you are legally mature and able to handle the
subjects mentioned above. Also, the writer is not responsible for any
problems which arise by not complying with this warning. Thank you for
your patience, and I hope you enjoy.
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Chapter 4 - Light and Darkness
Crvesh and I finish our meal in silence, not a word spoken as
he takes large bites out of some kind of meat. It tastes a bit like
chicken, but I remember from when we were escaping to his home that
it's probably deer meat. As he finishes his, he watches me eat for a
while. I'm a little unnerved by how closely he seems to be watching
me. It's almost as if he's sizing me up. I finish mine shortly after
him, staring at the ground, unsure of what to say. He solves the
problem for me, speaking up after a short while of silence.
"There are many unexplainable occurances in this world. For
certain, this is one of the more complicated puzzles I have had to look
at in my time. Yet, I have a theory.
"There is a legend, set long ago, about two of my kind who are
twins, yet separated at birth. They go through life never knowing who
the other is, but each of them feels the pull of the other's existance,
deep in his heart. They eventually learn of their pasts, of each
other, and are destined to come together, when tragedy strikes. One
night, one of the twins is travelling through a horrible storm. He was
unfortunate to be standing under a tree as it was struck by lightning.
Never having a chance to dodge out of the way, he was knocked
unconscious by the trunk, and died beneath it's heavy weight.
"His brother, whom had been journeying long and hard, suddenly
became overcome with grief. He knew, without any doubt, that his twin
had left the world. His last act upon this world was to cast a spell
so he and his brother could, in time, meet again, even if they could
not do so in person. He made it so that his soul and that of his
brother could once again be reunited, by two people who's fates are
closely tied."
He pauses here, I'm sure in deep thought once again. I finally
have a chance to catch up on his story. A tale of twins? What does
this have to do with me? As the questions run through my head, I
wonder what had happened with my magic. Crvesh had said that there
were certain characteristics of magic, and it's users. How had I
defied all that?
He sighs, and begins again, "I tell you this story because I
believe that it may have come true. I can not decide if I really
believe this old tale myself, but..." He reaches forward, and takes my
hand, then holds up his own. I watch in amazement, as he produces four
separate spheres, each of a different element, all at the same time.
What power he must have! "...there is no denying that you and I have
an affect on the powers that we each possess. I do not think it would
be wise for others in the village to know that you have these powers.
If they realize that the humans can also use magic... it may bring
about chaos."
I nod to him, holding up my hand and producing a soft, yet
convincing light. I still hold onto his paw with my hand, wondering if
the connection has anything to do with my control as well. I look up
at his face to see him concentrating hard on the sphere of water
floating above his paw. He stops, and lets the water dissipate.
"Interesting. Xavier, I want you to try to create a fire like that in
my fireplace, over there in the corner. Do not be afraid, I can
counter-act most anything you can do, if something goes wrong."
I look to the corner, and focus, in my mind, on a raging
inferno blazing in that specific place. All I get is a little flame no
larger than that on a torch. I try to my greatest, but I simply can't
do it. The flame disappears, and I turn back to him. "That's all I
can get. Why?"
Crvesh looks puzzled. "We are still greatly limited in our use
of elements that do not belong to us." He looks to me, seeming very
serious. "Xavier, there is something I must tell you. You must
refrain from thinking of myself any further when focusing on spells."
My jaw falls open as he utters the words. Thinking of him? He
knows?
He quickly places a paw on my mouth. "Before you ask anything,
let me clarify things. I know that you were thinking of me because
magic will only act on the object in a person's mind. When I was flung
against the tree, I knew you had been thinking of me. And the cave, I
knew then also. For I could not move for the life of me as the
entrance began to open. To hold me to one spot is quite a powerful
skill..."
I calm myself a bit, but just the thought that he knows I had
been thinking about him begins to make me nervous all over again. "I'm
sorry, I..."
He halts my speech again. "No, do not apologize. There are
others like you, in our pack, who prefer those of the same sex..."
My eyes open wide at this. He's telling me that he knows about
my... desires? And that he's ok with it... "Um... are... you?"
I look at him, at his eyes, and he seems to stare directly past
my own, and into my soul. I'm almost ready to melt when he speaks. "I
am sorry, I cannot answer that." He turns and walks away, toward the
entrance. "You must find some other calming thought. The more you
think of me, the more you put me in danger."
I have to admit, I'm just about ready to cry as he speaks. I
don't remember ever being so saddened in my life. Almost all at once,
my one most powerful wish, above all else, was completely anihilated.
I turn toward his bed of animal skins, sitting there and willing myself
not to cry. I know if I do, I'll never be able to stop.
Still, I have little control over my tears. They begin to flow
freely, and as I flop down on my side, catching his scent left on the
skins, I realize more and more that there will never be anything more
than just that.
Even as I lay there in self-pity, I can tell Crvesh never left.
I can sense him still here, if sense is even the right word. It's not
really a sense, as much as I just know. Strangely, I can hear him
walking toward me, despite that I've never heard him walk before. I
find it strange that all of a sudden I feel this connection between he
and I, even as I know it's never to be anything more. Rather ironic.
I feel a shifting in the skins, realizing he's sitting down in
front of me. I turn onto my other side, not really ready to face him
yet. The crying has slowed down, but tears still refuse to stop
coming. The feel of a soft paw on my shoulder calms me for a moment,
but I soon tense up and shrug it away, avoiding the Mazuku's sentiments
for the time being. The paw just returns, and I decide to let it stay
there for now. Even in this situation, it's a comfort.
"You must understand my situation. I am the prince of my
people. As such, I cannot love whomever I wish." Crvesh stops here,
probably in deep thought, I think to myself. I begin to process his
words, realizing that he really does love me, but his life can't allow
it. I sit up, startling him, and look into his eyes. They seem to
have the same tears in them that mine have.
"I know you're an important person, but that doesn't mean you
don't have any choices. Your being with me could help your people to
see mine in a different light." I divert my eyes from his, feeling as
though I've said too much. "I'm sorry. We haven't known each other a
week, and I already assume you are mine alone. Maybe it would be
better if I left..." I stand and begin toward the exit, walking slowly
in my despair.
I hear shuffling behind me, probably Crvesh standing from the
skins. "You need not go. I was hasteful in my judgement, but even
were most of my people to accept you, there would be some who could
not. I must think of ways to unite my people, not to separate them
further."
I turn around and look at him, my face contorted with a tinge
of anger. "Your people are not the only ones on this planet. While
you would be unifying your race to forget about me, the rest of the
world would continue to grow in contest of you. You would be pushing
away a much larger faction than you would be unifying." I turn my back
to him again, still angry, just not having the will. "If you don't
want me around, all you need to do is tell me. I wouldn't want to be a
burden upon you and your people."
I'm surprised by a sudden movement, being forcefully turned
around by his strong arms. I gasp, startled, as I see his tears still
flowing. "Why do you make it so hard for me?" He slows down,
breathing out unsteadily and closing his eyes. "I do not want you to
leave, but I can not decide right now what would be best for me and my
people. I must have time to think."
It's sad how easily he seems to calm me, no matter what mood
I'm in. "Fine. I can wait a little while." I sigh a bit, heading
back over to his skins, and sitting down, having completely forgotten
about the pain in my backside until I hit the skins and yelp in pain.
I just let myself fall to my side on the skins, still seeing stars as I
try to block out that horrible pain at the base of my spine. Before I
open my eyes, I know Crvesh is right there next to me, probably worried
sick after that loud, painful sound I made.
He leans over as soon as my eyes open, his nose near my cheek.
As I look to him, I feel his breath, and find it increasingly
difficult to hold back my lips, which seem drawn to his. I manage just
barely, as he whispers out, "Just relax, and rest for a while. I will
be back in two hours to prepare us a meal." And with that, the warmth
leaves my side, and I hear him walk out of the den.
I lay there for a while, thinking to myself, wondering just why
it had to happen this way. Why did he have to be a prince? Anyone
else and it wouldn't be a problem. I just had to fall in love with the
prince.
I realize after a couple minutes how futile that line of
thinking is. It's happened, and it's not going to change now. I've
already decided to let him think about his choice on the matter. To
help ease my thoughts, I settle onto the skins, letting myself relax
until I feel sleep tugging at my eyelids. I slip into slumber after
about half an hour.
When I awake, I can just feel that something's not right. For
some reason, I can tell someone else is in the room, but that it isn't
Crvesh. I lift my head and look around, quickly focusing my tired eyes
on a form standing in the corner. The male Mazuku moves away from the
wall and shows himself to me. Completely white in color... yet his
eyes are jet black. It's one of the oddest contrasts I've ever seen,
but as I look, I wonder why he's here. I've never seen any of the
other Mazuku up close like this before. And it's a little unnerving
that he has, in a way, broken into another's residence, though I'm sure
the rules here are less stringent than they are with my society.
He speaks first, somehow speaking perfect English. It amazes
me how much more of it he's mastered than Crvesh. "Hmmm, so you're the
human Crvesh brought back with him. I'd wondered why he'd bring a
filthy man here, but you do look rather appealing."
I'm confused for a moment. The malice in this Mazuku's voice
is frightening, but he also seems to be affirming Crvesh's tastes in a
mate... I'm partially happy, and totally freaked out. "What... do you
want?"
He brings out a small dagger from behind his back, shimmering
in the fire light. How had I missed that? "Nothing more than to rend
your flesh. Crvesh should never have brought a man here."
He charges me, and faster than I can react, he's on top of me,
the knife at my throat. I lay back flat against the skins, afraid that
a simple move might end my life. Of course, it doesn't help much.
"Now you'll die for all of us that had to suffer at your people's
whims!" He lifts the dagger, and I take a chance. I close my eyes and
imagine a large, rather bright light shining right in front of him.
Two seconds later I hear what I wanted to hear.
A shrill scream from the Mazuku, as he drops the dagger at my
side, and covers his eyes. I crawl out from under him, and back away,
moving quickly as he takes the dagger back in his paw. "I'll kill you
slow and painful for that, filthy human!" For a moment, I back away,
then, I see nothing! It's as though darkest night has fallen over my
eyes. I try to create some amount of light in front of me, but nothing
seems to help. That's when I realize that this is the Mazuku's doing.
I thought Crvesh had said that his kind only controlled the four
elements! Now I could use light, and this Mazuku seemed to control
darkness! "Don't try to run, I'll hear your steps and deliver your
fate."
Somehow, that wasn't comforting. Even if I remain still, he'll
find me soon, and with this darkness in front of my eyes, there's no
way I can fight back. A thought comes to me, and I try to imagine a
light shining out of my eyes, an illumination originating from my eyes
themselves. Somehow, the thought is made a reality. I can see again!
But the comfort is short lived. I see him opening his eyes and
rubbing them, preparing to charge at me.
A sudden, sharp growl to my right startles me, and I jump away
from it, looking that way. Standing there is the Mazuku I've come to
adore... the one I can't have... and he seems far beyond angry.
Several loud, gutteral growls and sounds are made from his mouth, none
of which I recognize as any kind of intelligable speach, but I assume
the other Mazuku understands him perfectly. I assume the message to
be: 'Leave here, or die.' There's little choice in that matter.
Unexpectedly, the Mazuku standing in the middle of the room
argues back, something in their language of growls and noises I'd never
comprehend, let alone try to reproduce. His voice is full of anger as
well, gesturing to me frequently and gripping his dagger tight. He
definitely doesn't like my being around.
Their arguing seems to go on for a long time, and I realize
that they must be deliberating on something. What it is, I can't
guess. There are a lot of simple gestures toward me, or glances my
way, so I assume it affects me in some way. Without warning I see the
blade in the white Mazuku's hand being lifted, he's going to throw it
at me! I barely even have time to duck before a bright flash of red
and orange plays over my eyes. Looking over at the Mazuku, I can see
that the white fur of his hand is pretty severely singed, and the
dagger clatters to the ground.
The white Mazuku clutches his arm, a brash roar of pain echoing
around the walls of the room. Crvesh moves away from the entrance, and
seems to almost scream at the other Mazuku, surprisingly, in my
language. "Leave now, " which is followed by the utterance of some
name... I can't even begin to recreate the noises required to say it,
but I know it must be that Mazuku's name. He picks up the dagger with
his good hand and rushes out.
As I look up at Crvesh, his face is contorted in anger. It's
the most frightening sight I've ever seen, his teeth shown white and
menacing in the bright light of the fire. He seems almost unto a Fury.
His eyes close and his face relaxes once the would be assassin has
left, and to my surprise, he takes me into his arms, and lays me back
down on the skins.
I breath deep, still unable to get the sight of those angry jet
eyes out of my mind. Looking over to Crvesh, I notice he's in deep
thought. "Crvesh, who was that?"
The wolvish face looks to me, concerned, and almost frightened.
"You may call him Hret. Not long ago, he was one of my closest
friends, almost like a brother to me."
Now that I think about it, I remember that the same wolf had
been sitting next to Crvesh during the festival around the campfire
last night. I also remember seeing a rather odd look from that face
before Crvesh led me off to his home.
"He has always supported my people's reintroduction into the
world of men. In fact, he often encouraged me when times were not so
good. He seemed so hopeful that your people would accept ours now that
time had passed. I have a feeling that when my settlement was
attacked, and I captured, it drove him to these thoughts."
I just lay on the skins, soaking everything in. This Hret is
definitely not going to let it end at this. He'll come for me again,
probably when I'm asleep. It doesn't seem to matter that Crvesh is
around. Not to mention that these two seem to have had some sort of
companionship in the past. Is it possible that he could convince
Crvesh to...
"Xavier, I have something that I must tell you."
My eyes look up to his face, noticing the look of pain he seems
to be displaying for me. "My people have said... that they do not
trust you being here. They have said that they wish for you to leave."
Shock is my immediate responce. I can't think, can barely
breath. After all we had gone through to get each other this far, he's
telling me that I have to leave? No, wait... he'd only said his people
wish for me to leave. He hasn't abandoned me yet... right? "Crvesh...
what do you say to this?"
He looks into my eyes for a time, seeming to gauge my reaction.
I must have acted just as he'd thought I would. "My people are very
afraid of what the humans can do. They feel that, if we allow you to
stay here, you may find a way to lead others in."
I sit up straight, shocked and insulted, "Crvesh, you know I'd
never do that!"
He places a paw on my chest, and almost immediately that look
on his face calms me down. I lay back, and listen to him further.
"Yes, I know. I know you would not betray us to your people. But you
must understand, none other than myself know of your true motives.
They will never accept you."
I close my eyes, and turn to my side. This conversation is
quickly turning the way I'd wished it wouldn't. "Crvesh, I didn't
expect to find understanding here. But the least you can do is stick
up for me. You're the prince of these people, don't you have any say
in the matter?"
He seems to draw away from me, "I have all the say in this
decision. If I wish for you to stay, then that is the decision.
But... I must think also of my people. None of them feel that your
being here will help any of us... rather that it could bring down
everything we have tried to become. Please understand that I do not
agree with them about this, but if my people are distressed by you,
then it is by no means an easy choice."
I lay there, looking at the patterns created on the ceiling
from the flickering fire light. So this is it, then? After all I've
gone through to save Crvesh, I'm just going to be tossed aside?
"Crvesh, you know I'll be killed if I go back out there. My own people
won't trust me either."
His eyes look sad, as I look to his face. I can't tell what
he's thinking of, but it seems to be something bigger than this whole
problem. "I will try to convince my people of your motives, and to
reinterate your situation." He stands, and makes his way to the cavern
entrance. "I will be gone one hour, no longer. There will be a
protective rune placed by the door, to bar all who would enter here
until I return. You will be safe for the time being."
I look to him as he prepares to leave. "What about your
friend?"
He nods, "Do not worry, he will not be able to get in either.
However, he appeared to be different than I remember him. Something
about his eyes, though I cannot tell. I will think more of this, but
in the mean time, feel free to get yourself a meal, or to sleep. This
must be a trying time for you." With that, he leaves me alone, laying
on the skins.
I take the full hour he gives me to think. About where I am,
what I'm doing, and why I'm doing it here. I come to a decision after
this system of thought. I've found the place I need to be. Somehow,
I'll have to find a way to convince the Mazuku that I want to help
them. But I can't do that here.
I stand up, stretching out my back and feeling a bit of pain at
the base of my spine, but truly, it doesn't hurt much anymore. I look
at my clothing, piled up by the skins, and wonder if I should wear them
when I go out... but I decide against it. They may see me more as one
of them if I can show them that I accept their customs. I walk up the
small path from the den, and out into the forest.
There's little noise around, and I realize that's probably
because everyone has met with Crvesh to decide my fate. I want to find
them and gain their trust, but finding them could be difficult, as I
don't know this place. But I wonder... can magic help here? I close
my eyes and focus on finding Crvesh. Almost a kind of magical compass.
I see him, in my mind, talking to a collective group of about 20 or so
Mazuku. The direction seems to be north from here, and so I start off.
On my way, I see many Mazuku. Some stop and look at me, as
though I'm some odd alien being. I suppose, to them, I am. Others
ignore me, as though I don't even exist. I'm not sure which of those
two responces I'm more reserved about.
It only takes a short while to come upon the common area, where
several of the Mazuku are talking together. I can see Crvesh, standing
there. I don't see Hret. I approach cautiously, as I know none of
them are expecting to see me here. But I just have to try and prove to
them that I'm here to help.
All eyes turn to me, as I approach, and I can feel Crvesh's as
well, I know he's surprised to see me, but he quickly calms, and speaks
to me, "Xavier, is anything the matter? We are not finished here."
I shake my head, "No, I'm doing fine. I wanted to come here
and listen to them. Maybe offer my own views toward my defense."
Crvesh looks to me, and says, "Xavier, these are the eldest of
my people. I have been deliberating with them for some time."
He looks to the assembled crowd. They all start talking at
once, in their own language, and I see Crvesh anger almost immediately.
He speaks slowly, "I know you all speak the human's language. While he
is here, you are to speak to me only in that tongue. It would be
disrespectful to our guest if you did not."
They all appear to be a little upset with that remark, but
there are no arguments against this judgement. One of them begins, a
black Mazuku with brown markings around his eyes. He utters a name
that sounds like 'Crvesh', so I assume that's what he has spoken.
Crvesh told me his name was shortened from it's original pronunciation,
so I suppose these people wouldn't know that I refer to him otherwise.
"There has never been a human allowed in this village. Who knows what
it will cause? The other humans could be lead here by him, how are we
to trust one of them?"
From the corner of my eye, I see Crvesh glance at me. He must
have assumed that I would respond worse to this. However, I'm quite
calm right now. At least these people don't want to kill me.
Crvesh responds, "This human saved me from that prison I was
taken to. I do not think I need remind any of you of that. He will
not betray us, I am sure of that."
Their argument goes on, for quite some time. Some of the elder
Mazuku seem to have unending doubts about my trustworthiness. The
comments begin to heat up, and I can tell that Crvesh is becoming
frustrated with the comments of his council. I walk in front of him,
and look at all the faces. The conversation stops, and they all look
at me, as though I'm being quite rude. I guess I am, but someone has
to stop this bickering.
I look at all of them, at some point, taking in their faces,
gauging their opinions of me. Some have been convinced that I'm not
really a threat, but most are still adamant about their reasoning. I
stand before them, and say, "What do I need to do to gain your trust?"
None of them answer, they seem unable. It's as though someone
has sewn their mouths shut. A sudden warmth touches my shoulder, and I
realize that Crvesh has placed his paw there. "I have no doubts that
Xavier is true to his word." He rubs my back, in an oddly affectionate
way, and despite the situation, I find myself blushing. "Your
questions are all quite valid, and would be useful, were they able to
be answered. And yet, not even you yourselves could answer to all of
the questions brought up, without it being your word against that of
another. My decision is made. In order to foster hope that our people
can one day return to the outside world, I am ordering that Xavier be
allowed to stay here."
I turn to look at him now, smiling softly as he glances to me,
then to the elders. "He is to be treated as though he is one of us.
Any intolerance or mistrust based on his race will be dealt with by
myself personally." With this, he looks to me, and seems to smile,
then says, "Please go back to your homes. I assure you that if I find
any ill actions being taken by Xavier, I will take the proper measures
to make sure he is stopped." I feel concerned by that last remark, but
judging by his eyes, he only said that to appease the elders. They
slowly head off, talking to one another, or looking at me as they go.
It's a little unsettling, but at the same time, I'm glad that at least
I'm assured safety here.
I look up into Crvesh's eyes and smile happily to him,
"Crvesh... thank you for doing that. I was afraid I wouldn't be able
to stay..."
Crvesh places a paw on my shoulder and leads me away, back
toward his home. "I already know that you have nowhere else to go. I
could not let them win, when I knew you would need our help." As we
reach where I remember his cave to be, I put a hand on his chest to
halt him, and concentrate. When I open my eyes... the entrance still
isn't there. I try again, but instead I get a comforting paw on my
shoulder. "Have you forgotten about the rune I placed at my door?
None can get in but me. I hadn't thought that you'd leave." He steps
forward, and the door opens to him. I follow him quickly inside.
Instead of removing the rune from the door, as I thought he'd
do, he leaves it up. I guess he's still nervous that his people won't
appreciate my presense here. We walk into his den, and he turns to me,
seeming to smile brightly. "I have something I must show you. I think
I have figured out the problem with our magic. It may not work, but I
am willing to try. When you hear about it, I will let you decide what
we shall do. In the mean time, let me prepare something for you to
eat. It has been a long day for you."
With that, he heads into his food storage area. I can hear him
preparing the meal we will soon have, and I wonder what his solution is
to the problem. I'm almost scared that it will be some long, difficult
ritual. I don't want to die just so I can do a few more parlor tricks!
But I'm sure it won't threaten my life. He seems to be unable to let
anything come to harm me. For that, I suppose I should be thankful.
I'll let his people decide for themselves what they think of me. At
least I know Crvesh cares about me. That's all I really need.
copyright 2002 - Neiko Mitaki
Feel free to e-mail me with any comments you might have, I
would love to hear from anyone at all. Send comments to
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Well, that's one more chapter down. They always seem to get
longer and longer. I guess that's just how it is, though I think I'll
try to keep all of the rest of them shorter than this one. In any
case, I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. I didn't leave quite
as big of a cliff-hanger as last time. Figured I'd let everyone sit
easy for a change.