FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Breathe Written by Leo_Todrius Commissioned by Donkey-zebra

Quick, regular beats filled the air like a heartbeat of the gathered masses, interspersed with the mechanized hypnotic lyrics that captured and ensnared souls. The music alone was enough to alter one's mentality, but the rave was all about altering mentality on all levels... Everything had been brought together to create an experience profound and exhilarating. Some lights pulsed in time with the percussion of the music, sending strobes of light over the moshing masses while other ravers used glow sticks and electronic poi to add to the atmosphere. A few of the more skilled poi artists stood in the corners, showing off their moves. Many watched a young man in his early twenties, dermal piercings covering his cheek bones and labret, an electric purple Mohawk rising up from his head as he spun the orbs, creating heart shapes and spider webs and complex geometric changes in various colors. It was mesmerizing, and given the location, a bit spooky.

There had been many raves in the valley in recent years, but for months word had been building about the rave to beat all raves, a gathering intense in stimuli and camaraderie. Anticipation had been high, and at long last the event had arrived, though the locale had caught many by surprise. For thirty years no one had gone near Mercy Hill Hospital. It had been closed in the seventies due to gross violations of human rights and had been left to decay and rot since then. Ghost stories had emerged a few years later of restless spirits looking for vengeance of their mistreatment, but it had mostly lived on as a spooky tale for children to tell around camp fires, at least until the Rave.

After three decades of being empty, the foyer, the halls, classrooms and operating theaters were full of ravers from all walks of life. True to the atmosphere of the location, a few ravers pushed around carts with little plastic Dixie cups full of pills, though they were far from the kind of pills hospitals offered. There were psychedelics, aphrodisiacs, drugs to speed perception up and to slow it down. There were also drinks, chemical concoctions to affect largely the same change. It seemed the sea of people were eager to make the rave memorable and the cups went quickly, disappearing into the sea of mesh shirts and leather pants and neon hair.

Of all the sub cultures that made up the fabric of society, few were quite as broad as Ravers, at least in the valley. There were kids with spiked hair, dreadlocks, Mohawks, shaved heads, afros, braids, corn rows and head gear of all sorts. Some were tall and lithe, others built like football players. It was a cross section of culture and few places were more accepting. Straight, gay, it all mixed together and people meshed from one to another. Even couples mingled and writhed against strangers. The heat was most palpable as groins and shoulders rubbed, mouths brushing one another... and from the doorway, three friends looked in at the sight with an impressed awe.

Chaz, Mike and Joe looked like the poster boys for the rave, having been in the culture for a few years. Chaz was five foot ten with dyed, spiked crimson red hair. Wide rectangular black frame glasses rested on his nose and his wardrobe was the brightest of the three. His shirt was tie dyed with a rainbow of colors and his pants were as bright of his hair. His lanky body was contrasted by Mike's solid build. His hair was an electric blue and the spikes were longer, though a short black goatee covered his chin. Thick gold rings hung from his ears. His muscles torso was full visible, not hidden at all by the black fishnet shirt. Rings hung from his nipples as well, complimenting the leather pants.

Towering over the other two was Joe. He was six foot three inches tall and his skin was like a fine dark chocolate. His hair was tied back into a ponytail of dreads, though plastic ribbed tubing had been worked into it as well, giving him a partial artificial look. A long black goatee hung down from his chin and splatters of black light paint covered his neck and shoulders, glowing as they passed various light sources. He had on a sleeveless shirt, his thick muscles exposed for all to see. Even his pants were tight, showing off his bulge.

"This is the biggest one I've ever seen!" Mike said over the music, glancing to Chaz who was head bobbing and then Joe who was scoping out potential sexual conquests already.

"Plenty to pick from." Joe said with a grin.

"When are we going to get our dance on?" Chaz asked, his hips starting to move with the music in addition to his head. Mike smirked.

"Let's just get the lay of the land before we dive into our night of debauchery." Mike said. The other two nodded a bit before they advanced forward, moving through the thick crowds. Punks, ravers, thugs... they were all rubbing up against the three as they moved. Chaz bounced between them like a pinball but Joe held on, grinding a bit more, humping the round bubble ass of a twink before grinding his groin against another man's, keeping an eye on Mike. The three had been friends for years and tended to party in a group despite being a bit different, but it really had turned out to be a safety measures. They knew each other's limits and tolerances and could protect each other from dangerous situations when needed.... And when the three were together, they had the most complete knowledge of party history out of anyone. They knew the stories of the hospital, they knew some of the equipment, they knew the drugs... and when Mike saw a figure standing in a doorway, he slowed to a stop, waiting for the other two to notice.

While most of the ravers had taken on typical conventional cyber punk looks, there was one figure in the doorway that didn't belong to the modern era. He was dressed in vintage clothing that was so perfect it was as if he stepped out of another time. His black pants were skin tight and showed every contour. He had a faint sea foam green button up shirt beneath an apron with pockets and a long doctor's coat. To add to the visual appeal, he even had long vintage surgical gloves that moved well up his arms. What captivated the boys most, however, was the vintage gas mask hanging around his collar bone. Tall, vertical oval lenses rested like black eyes, leading to a vaguely muzzle-like extension with two air filter packs on either side. Tubes ran around the man's collar, keeping the gas mask where it was, running to a pack on the man's back, but even the man was captivating.

His black hair was short and slick, his jaw was square and the stubble running along his jaw bone was perfectly groomed. He had an otherworldly, other timely look about him... but more than that, Joe and Mike recognized the gas mask at once. It was true vintage, dating back to the late sixties and only used for a few years after that. The man met eyes with the trio before he cast them a grin. Chaz smiled back, blushing a bit while Joe puffed out his chest, trying to look a bit more masculine. They started to advance and Mike followed after.

"Where are you guys going?" Mike asked in surprise.

"To see if he got that mask online or if there's a place around here I could get myself one for my collection." Joe said.

"You have a gas mask collection? That's so kinky." Chaz grinned.

"I can show you some time." Joe grinned to Chaz. Mike squeezed back in between them, the three coming up to the doorway as a slower song played, giving half the ravers a chance to rest while others came together to slow dance, bumping and grinding slower.

"Nice mask, classic." Joe said as they approached, breaking the ice. The man smiled, his teeth abnormally white. He appeared to be in his early thirties, possibly his late twenties.

"You have good taste, but then again I could tell that since you arrived." The man said.

"So you've been watching us for a while?" Chaz smiled.

"Oh yes, it's hard to ignore such a confident trio... And the fact that you like masks is an added bonus." The man said.

"I was wondering, did you get that online, or..." Joe trailed off. The man grinned wider.

"Oh, I got it here. There's a treasure trove of abandoned things... I was actually wondering if I could recruit a few people for a more private party downstairs; take advantage of the abandoned ward." The man said. Joe grinned at the premise.

"I'm in." Joe said eagerly. The man nodded, looking at the other two before looking at Mike.

"How about you?" he asked. Mike shifted a bit on his feet.

"I don't know, I kind of haven't seen all of the party up here yet." Mike said. A groan came from Chaz.

"Please! It sounds like an exciting adventure. Come on... We never split up." Chaz said, reaching to rub his hand up and down over Mike's ass, giving it a grope. Mike sighed slowly. It was true. They all took risks from time to time, but they took them together.

"Alright, for a little while maybe. I'm Mike, this is Chaz and Joe." Mike introduced. The rustic man grinned.

"I am Lance... and I've got a lot to show you." He said, turning, heading down the stairs. Joe followed right after, descending down the narrow white brick stairwell. Without lights, it was a pitch black stairwell and Joe had to follow by feel on the rails. Mike hesitated again but Chaz all but pushed him down, following after the others. Before long they all descended, leaving the rest of the rave behind. Because of the dark it felt to Mike like they were descending forever, but at last they emerged onto a lower floor. There were narrow windows near the ceiling, revealing that most of the floor was underground, but there was enough moonlight to cast grid squares of lights across the green and white tiled floor.

The trio looked around in awe at the hospital ward, looking like some horror movie set from the seventies. Gurneys were left out; there were jars of things on tables, splatters of dried fluids on things and trays of metal instruments. Lance led them along the hallway and the three followed after, looking at everything. In many respects Hospitals were hospitals and things stayed the same, but it was amazing to see how fixtures evolved over the years. Tables, lamps, electrical covers, paint schemes... it was all just a bit wrong, just a bit more ancient. Joe loved the atmosphere, but it creeped Mike out all the more and he stuck closer to Joe as a result, inadvertently leaving Chaz to trail along behind.

While not as much of an aficionado as Joe, Chaz was still interested in everything. He poked lamps, eased doors open and generally poked around everywhere, but when one of the doors he opened revealed a surgical suite rather than one of countless hospital rooms, Chaz hesitated. His eyes darted over to the large steel canisters in the corner, including one sitting on a rolling cart hooked up to a breathing mask. This was one thing Chaz was an expert in, anesthesia.

Being the son of a dental hygienist, Chaz had learned the ins and outs of breathable gasses fairly young. Then he'd learned how to abuse them. He glanced over to the group moving up ahead before he snuck into the room, intent on getting a dose before meeting up with the others. Up ahead, Lance caught a glimpse of Chaz breaking away from the others in a reflection of a glass case but said nothing about it, choosing instead to draw Joe and Mike's attention to the glass case and the pictures of how the hospital had been in the day.

Back in the other room, Chaz had moved over to the machine, pulling up the primitive rubber breathing mask. He pulled it over his face, sliding the straps over and under his ears. He checked the valves on the tubing running to the container, running his hands over the tank. It was so retro, so classic... The only label was a white diamond sticker labeled sixty nine in black block numbers. Those were some of Chaz's favorite numbers.

He turned the valve and felt the pressure in the mask change before the familiar hissing of pressure began pushing at his nostrils and mouth, but it was far from what Chaz expected. It wasn't nitrous oxide, pure oxygen or anything he was familiar with. It was something new entirely. It was warm and moist, musty and dank, spicy and earthy and savory all at the same time... It almost smelled like underwear after sex... For a moment Chaz wondered if the chemicals had broken down and he was breathing in some poison from back in the day, but those fears melted away as a pleasant warm tingling spread through his body... and grew very intense before long.

Chaz moaned into the old rubber mask as his nipples grew painfully tight. A moment later blood started rushing into his groin, his hardening cock throbbing in time with his heart. He licked his lips gently, beads of the chemical gas condensating on his lips. His pants tented more and more until his cock pushed out tighter than ever. He was so hard that it almost hurt... and then it did hurt, but the pain felt oddly good. Chaz winced but he didn't turn the gas off. It felt so amazing, he had to explore it.

The button and fly of his pants were dealt with before they were drawn down, his eight inch shaft sticking out, almost as red as his pants. It was the most erect he had ever been in his life and Chaz looked at his rod with awe before he wrapped his hand around it, giving it a squeeze and a stroke. The sensation was so intense that Chaz fell to his knees, shivering and moaning, his cock pulsing in his hands. Chaz took a deep breath of the gas before he slid his hand up and down just once, and then nearly collapsed again.

More pleasure than Chaz had felt in his life ripped through his brain, burning synapses. He kept panting, breathing the gas in and out before he brought his other hand to his shaft, trying to squeeze it on before he stroked again, and again, and again. Soon he was pumping up and down, biting his lip, kneeling and wanking with growing intensity, the pain and pleasure mixed to totally ensnare him. Chaz wanked himself harder and faster, taking no pause or break even as his cock got redder and redder... but something else seemed to be happening. It was almost like the blood pumping into his cock was inflating it further.

"Oh yeah, that's the stuff..." Chaz panted, his voice muffled by the mask. It actually felt as if his cock was starting to stretch in his hands again, growing longer and fattening with every thrust. He assumed he was hallucinating, that it was a drug reaction... but it was very real. Chaz tugged and stretched his cock, the rod pushing out more of his pants, widening in his fly, taking up a wider base on his groin... and making him hornier all the while. Chaz thrust like a wild man, feeling his heart and cock pounding in his head... and the gas filling him more and more.

With each thrust of his hands, Chaz felt better about himself, but he also started to feel a bit emptier. The pleasure was overriding his brain, wiping out memories. Childhood memories disappeared, then names of streets, pieces of him just fading away. Chaz could feel it somewhere in him, but he couldn't stop... it just felt too good. His eyes widened more and more as he felt himself approaching his orgasm. His hands moved wildly, tugging and pulling at his cock, feeling it push past ten inches, then eleven, then twelve...

His hands were wild, dangerous, ragged. His body thrashed and moved as his balls swelled a bit too. Chaz moaned as he lost elementary school, then middle school. The only memories that seemed to stick were his days of masturbation, his fantasies, his sexual encounters... and the rave, seeing Lance, that gas mask. As Chaz thought of Lance, everything pushed him over the edge. He screamed into his mask, his back arched and he came, spraying thick jets of cum out across the room floor, but as he came, the last of his mind seemed to leak out of him. His eyes glazed over slowly and his mind clicked into a new, more primal level. The orgasm came to a stop and the cum ran down his cock. Chaz slowly raised to his feet, his cock oddly staying hard and continuing to drip with no end in sight. Chaz reached over to grab the cart with the gas on it before he pushed it out into the hall, intent to find his master and assist in what was to come next.

****

While Chaz had gotten sidetracked, Lance had led Mike and Joe deeper and deeper into the abandoned ward, passing through double doors emblazoned with many different symbols. One looked like the triforce from Legend of Zelda but turned out to be an alternative to the radioactive symbol. But the biohazard logo still was recognizable with its curves and ring. Lance pushed through them with confidence, taking his first right. Joe was just as confident as ever, but Mike was more hesitant than ever.

"Wait, where's Chaz?" Mike asked, looking around with concern.

"I'm sure he'll be along shortly." Lance said, stopping in the middle of a room. Joe followed Lance in and looked around in awe. They seemed to be in the preparation room leading off into an operating theater. The shelves were lined with old vintage hospital equipment. Reusable gloves, aprons, smocks, gas masks, shoe covers. There were scalpels and steel syringes as well; everything from back in the day... and more than anything, there was a pungent smell like old sex. It was musky, moist, and tangy, though some of the spice had faded over time.

"Dude, what is that smell?" Joe shuddered. Lance chuckled.

"That smell was once the cutting edge of science... This hospital pioneered the use of aphrodisiacs in anesthesia and other treatment gasses. The theory was that it would make patients more receptive to treatment and healing, though a few doctors took advantage of the state their patients were left in." Lance said, gazing into Joe's dark eyes. Joe's lips slowly curved into a grin, but Mike shook his head.

"Sounds like the dark ages to me... I'm going to try and find Chaz and meet you guys back here." Mike said, moving back into the hall and through the double doors. Joe hesitated, snapped out of his reverie, wondering if he should go too. Lance could tell he was losing his audience and reached over, lifting a mask off of the shelf.

"Well, in the darkest times can come the brightest innovations. Did you know this mask is one of the few that can maintain a seal even when pressed against hair?" Lance asked.

"What do you mean?" Joe asked, looking back. Lance unscrewed a valve cover on the bottom of the mask near the chin... the same spot Joe had his long goatee. The man's slight grin returned before flashing into a full one.

"Want to try it on? Play doctor?" Lance asked.

"You think it'd be okay?" Joe asked. Lance chuckled.

"It isn't as if this is a hospital anymore. Understaffed, no patients." Lance smirked. Joe hesitated before he nodded.

"Alright, how do I put it on?" Joe asked, moving forward.

"Let me help..." Lance replied with a smile. He pushed the straps out of the way and brought the mask up, but before sticking it to Joe's face; he stroked the tall man's goatee, drawing it out and toward the valve. He pushed it through the black rubber to stick out of the bottom just a bit before he lifted the mask up to Joe's face properly. As the rubber gasket pressed against his cheek bones and throat, Lance slid the straps around Joe's tube and dread filled ponytail, creating a perfect lattice that kept the ponytail high and tight... but the straps had more features than one might have expected.

While most of the straps were rubber, each one had a small gold colored slider. Lance slid them together where they locked against one another, creating two gold chevron shapes, one above the ponytail and one below. With the sliders locked, the mask was impossible to pull off. Lance circled Joe and reached back up, pulling his goatee down through the lower gasket before grinning, looking into the dark black oval eyes.

"You are quite the beast, aren't you?" Lance chuckled.

"I try." Joe replied, his voice oddly unmuffled. Joe looked down at the blunt muzzle-like extension of his mask before he realized why. One of the air filters was missing. He groaned, "It's incomplete..." he sighed.

"Oh, no, it's just waiting... They kept one of the filters in a solution so it would have high potency when activated." Lance said, turning to a jar on the counter. He lifted the top of the jar, revealing it to be a filter rather than a lid. The soup of yellowish white slime inside clung to the filter elements, dripping. Lance turned to apply it to Joe's mask with a strange, wild grin on his face but Joe backed up.

"What is that goop? Is that some sort of solvent?" Joe asked.

"No, of course not, it's your treatment." Lance said before he lunged. Joe grabbed at the doctor, trying to stop him but the man was shockingly strong for his size. Joe grunted as he tried to keep the arm back, but inch by inch it slid closer until Lance got it into the slot and turned it. Joe could feel it lock into place before his nose filled with the smell of sex a thousand times over. Joe grunted sharply, letting go of Lance, trying to tug the mask off, but it was as if it was stuck to his skin. The black rubber and his brown skin complimented each other well, but the goatee hanging through the mask and the artificial tubes in his ponytail made him look all the more blended, a fusion of man and machine.

"Oh yes... Just breathe, breathe it in, embrace it..." Lance whispered. Joe still struggled, but he could feel the gas having its effect. The tingling spread through his chest, then his limbs... and finally his groin. Despite being afraid and concerned, Joe was getting very horny. His balls were churning and his cock hardened. Joe kept trying to pull at his mask, turning one way and then the other, though he stopped when he saw his reflection in the mirror. He looked bad ass. He looked like some sort of gas masked rave god, and that fuelled his erection all the more.

Joe panted harder, bringing in more and more of the gas into his body. His erection raged harder, pushing out against his pants tightly to the point of pain. Joe wasn't sure why, but his first instinct was to relieve that pressure the only way he knew how. He fumbled with the button and then his fly, his dark, long uncut cock jutting outward. It was so hard that veins were pulsing on it. Joe wrapped his hand around the shaft to give it a good squeeze and then a thrust of his hips. The jolt it gave him was stronger than anything he'd ever felt before.

Lance watched with great glee as Joe continued to slip and started to change before his very eyes. Joe's breathing fell into a regular rhythm, matching his hand thrusts. His shaft only seemed to swell and grow with the attention, pushing out longer and wider, his balls slowly expanding and pushing out of his pants as well, but the changes weren't limited to his groin. His fingernails slowly started turning from white to gray and then a pure black and his muscles were expanding all over.

Joe's sleeveless shirt hid none of the changes on his arms as his biceps and triceps pushed out wider at an impossible pace, making it appear as if he had years of gym going behind him. Joe's abs firmed, his pecs rounded... but it was almost as if the changes weren't designed to make him stronger, but instead were to make him fit the mask better. He seemed more filled out, almost like an orderly in a hospital that had to deal with difficult patients. The black oval lenses were darker than ever, hiding Joe's face completely. All that was left were the sounds of his breathing. The changes had affected Joe so much that his shaft had stretched and bloated to new lengths, and with it room for a second hand. He slapped his left hand on and joined in, double fisting himself, stroking off like a madman. Each wank was stripping him of his humanity and he didn't care. The double doors outside sounded as Mike passed through them, turning into the room with a sigh.

"I tried to find Chaz but I..." Mike trailed off, looking at Joe, "Oh sure, I try to find our friend and you go have a meat party. I'll leave you two alone." Mike said, turning.

"Orderly, restrain our patient." Lance whispered. Joe rose back up to full height... which was surprisingly taller than he'd ever been before. It only took Joe three steps to catch up to Mike, putting a hand on his shoulder. Mike jumped a bit at that.

"Joe, I'm not joining in. I don't feel like an orgy tonight." Mike said. Joe said nothing but looped his arm around Mike, dragging him back. Mike growled, "Joe, I'm serious, let me go!" he shouted, trying to break free of the surprisingly strong grasp. He struggled and pushed, trying to pry at Joe's fingers, noticing the black nails. He hadn't remembered Joe painting them before. Still, that was the least of his concerns. Joe dragged Mike back to the middle of the room, holding the thrashing man in place as best he could, though as it looked like Mike was likely to break free, Lance moved to help secure him. Mike shouted out more in concern before he heard the double doors again. It had to be Chaz, or at least someone else from the party.

"Help! Help me please!" Mike shouted out. A shadow fell across the doorway before Chaz walked into the room, pulling an anesthesia cart. Like Joe, Chaz now had a full gas mask on, the filters turning away... and he also had a fourteen inch long, veined drooling shaft. He left a trail of cum along the floor, only adding to the smell that infused the ward. Mike swallowed in nervousness, "Chaz, please, let me go... help me. Chester? Please?" Mike begged.

"Their priority is to help our patients now... They won't do anything that isn't in your best interest." Lance said, moving over to the counters. He lifted up a scalpel and returned to Mike, though he used the blade on the man's clothes rather than his flesh. The fish net sliced easily and fell away, though the pants took some more doing.

"Chaz, Joe, don't you remember me? You don't want to do this..." Mike begged, trying to get free. Chaz reached up and began unscrewing one of the valves on his mask, lowering the cap to reveal a thick rubber membrane that filtered out the last of the contaminants, though it seemed to be dripping with something slick and white almost like cum. Mike's back arched in shock. Lance grinned, giving a nod. Both Joe and Chaz moved at once. Mike was released just enough to think he could escape, but as he lunged forward, enough room existed between Joe and Mike that his huge black shaft lifted up, held aloft by the blood. Joe caught Mike and drew him back.

Mike let out a gasp of shock as his ass cheeks were pried wide and his best friend's manhood speared into him. He knew it should have hurt, that it should have been tight and hard without lube, but Joe's shaft was oddly slick. Joe didn't stop until he was fully inside his partner, buried to the hilt, impaling him so deeply that his stomach almost seemed slightly distended. Mike's eyes glazed over with shock at being so intruded, but he didn't have long to focus on that before Chaz lowered his head.

The gas mask began pushing over Mike's shaft, the membrane squeezing it like the tightest ass ever, but as it passed the membrane, it went right into Chaz' lips, his saliva feeling as slick and thick as cum. The rainbow clothed gas mask minion began bobbing his head up and down, covering Mike's member with his juices. Mike's fingers twitched as he tried to come to grips with the exchange, especially when Joe started pulling his thick member forward and back.

As the three went at it, Lance leaned against the counter for a moment, remembering the good old days. He had missed them greatly, but his newest recruits looked promising... save for one minor detail. Lance moved over to the counter and lifted up another air filter drenched in cum before he slid it into another gas mask, letting it click into place. He lifted the mask up and moved toward the threesome, though despite his lust Mike noticed.

"Don't do this to me, please, you can't!" Mike begged.

"Relax and breathe deeply... It will all be over soon. You will feel no pain and you will be with your friends again. Isn't that what you want?" Lance asked, trying to put the mask onto Mike. Mike turned his head the other way, flopping it back and forth, up and down, trying to make it as difficult as possible. Lance shot Joe a look. The dark orderly thrust suddenly, hitting Mike's prostate with his huge rod, sending waves of pleasure through him. When Mike cried out in pleasure and tilted his head back, Joe grabbed it and held it in place.

"No!" Mike cried out, but the end of his word disappeared into the mask as it pressed to his skin. The air tight seal built up the pressure in the mask. Mike could feel it on his eyes and cheeks. Mike tried not to breathe even as he felt the straps pulled over his electric blue hair, keeping the mask tight, but as Joe started thrusting again and Chaz kept sucking, Mike was out of air. He gasped in against his will, and as the musky gas filled his lungs, he exhaled in relaxation. Another breath and another sigh, feeling goodness wash over him. His fear melted away and was replaced with joy.

Lance stepped back again, watching as Mike stopped fighting and started to move his body between Chaz and Joe, grinding against his friends. His naked body tightened and hardened and Chaz soon had more to suck off. The doctor watched every last shred of Mike thrust, sucked and ground out of the human before he was thrashing and writhing just like all of the staff at the hospital once had. Chaz shuddered before thick ropes of cum added to the constant drizzle he sprayed and he was soon rewarded as Mike fed him the last of his human cum and the first of his corrupted seed. Feeling Mike's ass quiver around his rod, Joe soon came as well, letting out an animalistic roar of delight from his mask. Lance sighed with delight, knowing his first phase of recruitment was done.

"Welcome to the team my friends." Lance said slowly as they detangled from one another. The doctor reached up to hold the mask that hung around his neck, "I think it's time for us to treat this outbreak of normalcy upstairs... We have barrels of the reagent for just such an occasion. Let's get to work." Lance grinned before he pulled his mask on, sliding the straps into place. Even with his eyes blacked out and his mouth blocked, somehow the three men knew their master was grinning behind that mask, breathing it all in.