The Angel of Yiff Chapter 4
Jasyn took a deep breath and stepped into the kitchen where his mother and father were going about their usual morning tasks, "...Mom...Dad?"
His father looked over from the sink, "Hey Jasyn." He eyed his son curiously, "What's up?"
Tanya finished pouring her cup of coffee and smiled at her boy, "My, but aren't we up early today? And on a Saturday, no less!"
"Heh...yeah..." Jasyn gulped and took a few more steps in, determined that there was no going back, "Mom...Dad...I have something I need to tell you."
Tanya sipped her coffee a bit and tilted her muzzle down, "Something happen at school?"
Jasyn shook his head slowly, "No...nothing at school."
Mr. Fuller put a plate aside and finished drying his paws, cocking an eyebrow as he turned around, "Okay then. Go for it."
Jasyn gulped again, flicking his tail slightly as he tapped his toe on the ground, having trouble mustering his courage.
Tanya sipped her coffee again and sat down at the table. He stared up at her son inquisitively for a moment, and then seemed to remember something as a smirk flashed across her muzzle, "This wouldn't have anything to do with Alex and your two new friends, the uhm...cat and the raccoon, would it?"
Her son rubbed his neck, "Sorta'."
"Mm-hmm." She patted the table with her paw, "Take a seat Jasyn. I'm pretty sure I already know what this is about."
Her husband looked from Tanya, to their son, and then back again, "You do? I'm glad someone does..."
Jasyn chuckled weakly and sat down, putting his paws together in front of himself and looking at his crossed thumbs.
Tanya lowered her head to look at her son, "Take a deep breath and just say it, sweetheart. It's not like we'll be mad. I mean," She leaned back and took another sip of her coffee, "When was the last time we were mad at you for anything? Last New Year's Eve?"
Jasyn blinked and looked at his mother, his ears flattened and his eyes wide, "Do you...?"
Tanya sipped her coffee again, "I have a good idea."
Jasyn smiled weakly at how calm his mother was being, and then took a deep breath.
Yesterday, he'd had no plans to do this so soon...but a long talk with a good friend over hamburgers, late into the previous evening, had convinced him otherwise. Duncan knew Jasyn's parents, and if the wolf was ready, really ready to embrace his new life, the shepherd was certain they would be nothing but supportive.
"Alright. I'll start from the beginning." Jasyn smiled hesitantly, "You know Alex and I have been friends for a long time, right...?"
The Angel of Yiff Chapter 4-- It Will Consume You
Alex padded up Matt's walkway, idly taking note that Chris's car wasn't in the driveway before he reached the door, where he knocked a few times and stood back to rock on his heels.
After a moment or two, Matt opened up the front door in his maroon robe and black lounge pants, "Oh! Hey, Alex! I wasn't expecting anyone, today."
The fox smiled and scratched his neck, "Yeah...I was in the area so I thought I'd stop by."
"That's a nice surprise! I haven't seen you since Riddick's birthday last month...Jasyn either." Matt stepped aside so the teenager could come on in, "Only about three weeks until Thanksgiving break. Gotta' be nice, right?"
"I guess?" Alex padded in and shrugged, "It's only three days off."
"Yeah. That's what I hear from Chris." The ottercoon put a paw on his young friend's back as they walked toward the kitchen, "Might make me sound old, but I've gotta' say: I feel sorry for you kids. They gave us an entire week off."
Alex smiled, more at the paw on his back than the conversation, "That would be nice."
"But, hey! After Thanksgiving, it's not too long of a wait before Christmas break." Matt removed his paw as they entered the kitchen, "I know Luke & Riddick are looking forward to that."
The fox chuckled, "Well, yeah. I guess they'd be more excited than I would be. The older I get, the more it seems to take the fun out of it."
"How's that?"
"I dunno...it just sorta' does." Alex motioned at the older fur, "I mean, you don't look forward to this time of year as much as you did when you were little, right?"
"Well yeah, I guess not..." The ottercoon opened up the refrigerator and pulled out a drink, "But no matter how old I got, I never stopped being excited about a break from school."
"Heh...yeah, I suppose."
"Besides," Matt continued, "I'm more than ten years older than the four of you. And as of last month, you and Riddick are the same age."
"Not...not for long..." The fox blushed, realizing how silly he must have sounded, acting like he was so much older than Riddick & Luke, "I'll be seventeen next weekend."
"Oh?" Matt stood straighter and smiled with a polite nod, "Well happy early birthday! Any plans, yet?"
"Not other than the normal family stuff: no." Alex shook his head, "But...I expect that Jasyn has something or another planned to surprise me."
Alex's eyes dropped at that. He more than expected it. He was sure of it, and he dreaded it. Without a doubt, Jasyn would have something big and romantic planned, or would have at least found him some perfect present. Even when they were just friends, the wolf always knew just how to pick out the perfect gift. He imagined Jasyn in his mind, all smiles and hope, expectant that his gift or his special day would finally be what he needed to get Alex back...
...and it made the fox shudder. How could he look at that face again, in a situation like that, and turn him down, again? How could he break Jasyn's heart again? And, though he felt horrible for the thought...in that moment, he was almost angry with the wolf. He actually felt upset that Jasyn would do something nice for him, and put him in that situation.
And he hated himself for it.
Matt watched on in the encroaching silence. He didn't know exactly what was going through the fox's mind, but he could at least guess the subject. Jasyn. It was now four days until November, over five months since the boys had broken up, and that was still the same look Alex got on his face when the subject turned to him and Jasyn.
For a long time, Matt had been on the fox's side. He'd understood the fear, the anger, and the worries. He'd sympathized with Alex's issues with Peter and the trial, and what had happened. But he'd seen Jasyn fight for Alex all summer, and devote himself to everything the fox wanted.
He'd seen the fox given the chance to have something he, himself, had dreamed of since he was Alex's age. And now...he was angry at the fox for taking something like that for granted. And more than that, he was envious of the boy.
And he hated himself for it.
"Uhm..." Alex was the first to break the silence, "I'm doing pretty good in school recently." He paused waiting for some response from Matt, and then smiled softly before he continued, "Don't even have a C, so far, this semester."
The ottercoon didn't quite seem to be listening, though. His head just wasn't in it. He lifted his paw up and rubbed the top of his muzzle, closing his eyes and letting out a short sigh.
"Matt?" Alex blinked and flattened one of his ears, "Are you okay? You're being really quiet."
"Hmm?" Matt blinked and looked up, "D'what? Oh...uhm...I just have a lot on my mind Alex. Nothing for you to worry about, though. Sorry if I wasn't paying attention."
The fox shook his head, "No, It's okay. Anything I could do to help?"
"No...it's okay. You wouldn't able to do much. Only one person really could." Matt shook his head, to get his headfur out of his face; he needed a cut, "Really. Don't worry about it."
"Well..." Alex nodded and ringed his paws, "In that case...could I talk to you about something? Something important?"
"Heh..." The ottercoon smiled as best he could manage. He should have expected Alex was here for a reason. He should have expected someone else would need HIS help. They always did, "Sure. Could we go have a seat in the living room, though?"
Alex nodded and turned around, padding ahead of Matt and into the living room, where they both took a seat on the big leather couch.
Matt sat his drink down and crossed his legs, ankle over his knee, "What's up, kid?"
The fox turned to face Matt, looking down and sitting Indian style on the couch, "I..." He paused and looked up at the ottercoon, "I need to talk to you about Jasyn."
"Figured that much." Matt nodded, "Has something else happened?"
"No." Alex sighed and looked down, running a claw along the leather, "I just...I love him, Matt. I really do..."
"Yeah, you loved him a long time before he ever loved you back." The ottercoon smirked, "I was there, remember?"
"I do."
"So what do you need?"
"I need help." Alex looked up again, his eyes pleading, "He hasn't been...pushy about it, or anything, but I know that he...every time he looks at me he's just waiting for me to tell him I'll take him back. And I just don't know what to do."
"I really don't know what you want from me kid. I mean, it seems pretty clear cut to me." Matt counted out the only two points on his fingers, "He loves you, and you love him. Don't you wanna' be with him?"
"I..." The fox ran a paw up his arm and onto his shoulder, "...yeah."
"Then why not just take him back? Let all this stuff go?" Matt pointed at himself, "Why are you here with me, instead of with him?"
Alex stayed silent for a moment and looked up, "You...you know what happened, Matt. He hurt Luke...and he..." He looked away, "...it's because I don't know if I can trust him, anymore. Not after what he did."
"And no one is defending what he did. I know he hurt Luke. It was wrong, and I would have been pissed too." The ottercoon leaned in, "But it happened, and it's over. He's apologized...and, most importantly: he's changed. You're gonna' have to let this go eventually."
"But...but how can I KNOW?" Alex repeated, "How can I really trust him?"
"Well, Luke trusts him. He doesn't seem upset, even though I kind of think he should be." Matt shook his head, "Err, that's not the point. Look, Alex: he's going out of his way to get your trust back. He fucked up, he fucked up pretty bad, but he's doing A LOT better now. He's grown up a lot already and..." He paused, stroking his muzzle, "When you need him, he's there for, isn't he?"
The fox sighed and looked away, "Yeah. But after everything...how do I know if he actually loves me? I mean...how do I know he's not just doing all this just to make himself FEEL better, or whatever?"
Matt grew still, his face stoic and cold at that, and his voiced darkened considerably, "You know better than that."
"S-sorry..." Alex shrunk away from the older fur's change in tone, "I'm just...I'm really confused Matt..."
"Look Alex: everyone has troubles like these. I have. I even do, right now. It's hard; I know it is." The ottercoon's voice softened again, though it seemed to take an effort, "But you're lucky enough to have been given the choice, here. He wants you back, and you know it. There's no questioning, no worrying. You know that, if you go to him right now, he's yours. Don't take that luck for granted. A lot of us would give anything for that opportunity." He shook his head and took a breath, realizing he might be being a bit too pushy, thanks to his own current concerns, "I'm not saying you that HAVE to take him back, but you DO need to make a decision. "
"I guess." Alex nervously rubbed his knees, "I mean, don't get me wrong Matt. I love him, and I want him back." He paused, "It's just so hard..."
"Look, Alex: he loves you. You know that just as well as I do." Matt held his paws out and shrugged, "Now...whether you two should REALLY be together, or not...I can't answer that for you. But Alex, sitting here talking to me isn't going to fix anything. You need to be talking to HIM."
"But, Matt..." The fox took a deep breath and clenched his paw on his jeans.
"But...?"
"What do I say?"
The ottercoon held out his paws again, shaking his head in confusion, "What do you mean what do you say?"
"I mean..." Alex paused, trying to figure out how better to explain it, but just repeated himself, "I mean that I don't know what to SAY to him! It's not like I can just say 'I love you!' and expect-"
"But you CAN Alex!" Matt quickly held up a paw to stop the boy as he interrupted him "You can because you KNOW he'll say it back. It's just as easy as it sounds. What comes after that might not be...but you have to start somewhere."
"But Matt, it's just not that simple. I mean..." The fox tensed up in frustration, trying to figure out what he wanted to say, "He doesn't even understand."
"What doesn't he understand, Alex?"
"What it really did to me..."
"How do you know he doesn't? Are you in his head?" Matt's tone grew sharper, obvious annoyance in his voice, though he was trying to hide it, "When was the last time you even talked to him about it?"
"It's...it's been a while." Alex nervously fidgeted his fingers, "But, I mean, he hasn't really made it apparent that..."
"Well, he's made it more than apparent to me." The ottercoon cut him off again, "I HAVE talked to him, Alex. And I can tell you with a good deal of certainty, kid: he gets it. He knows what he did, and he is sincerely trying to make up for it."
Alex hesitantly responded, "How can you be so certain?"
"Because I actually TALKED to him!" Though restrained, Matt snapped at Alex for the first time.
"So you've talked to him?" Alex shot back, "But you weren't there! You didn't see the look in his eyes when he did it."
"You're right." Matt didn't miss a beat, "And I don't have any frame of reference...any idea what that must have been like. Especially after everything with Peter. But I DO know what kind of person Jasyn is, and I HAVE watched him this summer. His every solitary concern is YOU. And let's not forget that we're not talking about just any gay guy here. We're talking about one who was straight seven months ago...and changed for you." He pointed at Alex, accentuation each further point with a shake of his paw, "I know that he loves you. I know that he knows what he did. And I know that he has put real effort into being better. Just for you."
"I guess that's the problem, Matt. I just..." Alex sighed, "...I don't."
The ottercoon looked down and rubbed the top of his muzzle again, "Alex...we're just going around in circles here. I don't know what you expect me to tell you." He took a deep breath, trying not to be angry with the poor kid, but having a lot of trouble controlling his annoyance, "I don't know what else I'm supposed to say, or what you think this is even accomplishing. He loves you, Alex. He loves you and you love him. Why can't it be that simple??"
"Because, Matt: it just can't! Love means that you'd do anything for someone!" Alex looked down at his folded paws, "Love means you put them before yourself. Love means they should always feel safe! Love means...love means not doing what he did..."
Matt winced and tensed his body. Something in that last bit was all he could take, and, slowly, he turned his head to look at the boy, "What did you just say?"
The fox kept looking at his folded paws, "Love means not doing what he did..."
"You..." Matt tried taking breaths to steady himself, but it was quickly failing him. He was envious, he was angry, and he hated himself for it, but he couldn't contain it anymore, "You...self-important, whining, little ass! You are going to sit there and tell ME what love means? Sixteen-years-old, and you know what LOVE means!?"
Alex could only blink, looking at the older fur, "Wha-"
"You wanna' know what love means Alex!?" The ottercoon stood up and looked down at the fox, his brow lowered and his headfur in his eyes again, "Do you!?"
Alex jerked back, blinking and wide eyed, his mouth moving but no words coming out.
"Love, Alex, means knowing -- KNOWING -- someone is just using you! It means knowing that they don't want YOU, because all they're really after is your MONEY! Love means wanting to stay with that person SO BADLY, that you look past that!" Matt pointed at the younger fur, "It means that you give them all the love and affection you know they will NEVER return, just hoping to GOD that you get one fucking more day with them before they find someone else and leave you! And love means still wishing they'd come back to you LONG after they're gone...when the one bit of living contact that you had to BUY to replace them can't even fill the void!"
The fox shook, his mouth open, "Matt...I..."
"Love, you selfish little prick, means wanting to be with someone so much, that you don't even care whether or not they love you back! You taste them on your lips HOURS after they're not even by your side anymore, and you're GLAD you even have that much!" Matt paused, his tongue flicking his lips, though there was nothing there, at the moment, to taste, "You go to bed with them night after night, knowing that they don't need you...knowing that they don't want you...knowing that they don't feel the same way about you...and knowing that all you'll ever be is FRIENDS, regardless of what happens when the lights go out!" He clenched his jaw as tears formed in the corners of his eyes, "Love...is what turns a best friend into something more: something that's always RIGHT there at your finger-tips, but that you may NEVER truly get to touch!" He looked away and closed his eyes, holding back a sob as the tears arced down the sides of his muzzle.
Alex gulped, holding back a whimper. He looked down, rubbing his paws together barely managing to find anything to say back, "I-I'm sorry, Matt. I didn't mean to-"
"Love is stupidity..." The ottercoon cut him off again, his voice softer, sadder now than it was angry, "...and love is the truest emotion in the world. It is the most complex and simple thing that ANYONE can feel, and it is stronger than you...AND me." He looked right at the fox, his eyes shaking and trickling tears, "It will SHAKE your life! It will change who and what you are. It will indiscriminately ravage through every facet of your being, completely unapologetically, and it will leave you BEGGING for more! It will consume you...whole."
The front door opened and the sound of footsteps tapped into the living room as Matt continued.
"Take what's waiting for you, Alex. I won't sit here and have sympathy for you over this." He clenched his paws and looked up at the ceiling, "You whine and you whine about something that happened half a year ago, but all the while you have...something that the rest of us would KILL for, just...SITTING right there in front of you! It is WAITING to be taken. Take it!"
Behind the couch, Riddick padded into the living room and just stared on at the two furs. He had never heard Matt yell before, and stood in silent shock, not having a clue what's going on.
Alex hung his head, whimpering a little, and knowing full well that Matt was right.
"You're lucky that you love someone who loves you back. DAMN LUCKY!" Matt looked up at Riddick, "Both of you!" He looked back at Alex as the fox timidly looked behind the couch to see who else Matt was talking to, "I'm tired of listening to you whine and complain and badmouth someone who's done nothing but love and devote himself to you! You have someone waiting for you...and if you aren't going to take it, then it's your own damned fault!"
Alex cringed and whined loudly, pulling his legs up close to himself, "I'm sorry!! Okay? Jus-Just stop! I'm sorry!"
"Matt!" Riddick took a step farther into the room, "What the hell is going on? He gets the point; give him a break!"
Matt turned to look at Riddick, again, "Fine! Then you talk to him!" He picked his keys up from the end table and walked off toward the entryway.
"Matt!" Riddick held out a paw to stop the ottercoon, "What's wrong?"
Matt jerked his head to look at the panthion, making the cat take a step back. He clenched his jaw and stormed away, leaving through the front door and slamming it behind him. Outside, Chris and Luke were stepping out of the lion's car, fresh from wherever they and Riddick had been, and Matt made a point to avoid looking in their direction as he got into his own car, and sped out of the drive.
Back inside, Alex just whimpered more and buried his face into his knees, crying softly, "He's right..."
Sitting beside him, now, Riddick lit a paw gently on his friend's shoulder. Matt may have been right, but he wouldn't have blown at the fox up over just that. Riddick reached out and gently pulled him against his chest, "It'll be okay, Alex. I'll talk to Matt when he calms down. Something has to be wrong. He...he doesn't ever act like that. I'm sorry."
The fox sobbed softly, leaning into the panthion and just letting his tears fall, "No. He's right, Riddick. I...I need to talk to Jasyn." He sniffled softly and clutched the cat's shirt, "I've let this go on for too long."
~
Across town...
Jasyn knocked on the door to Duncan's house, rocking on his heels impatiently as he waited for the German shepherd to answer. After a few moments of sitting at the door, though, there was still no response, and the wolf grumbled and pounded on the door a little harder, crossing his arms.
"HOLD ON!!" Duncan yelled from the side of the house before appearing from around the corner, "Oh! Hey, Woof!" The dog walked across his yard, barefoot, shirtless, in a pair of ripped blue-jean shorts, and looking rather tired and damp, "Sorry 'bout that. I was workin' out back. What's up?"
The wolf looked his friend over and raised his eyebrows, tracing the dog's cut muscles with his eyes. He shook his head, though; this wasn't the time. "Duncan!" He walked over and grinned up at the large dog, "I need you to help me with something."
"Already? Didn't I just help you out, last night?" Duncan grimaced playfully and then nudged his friend's shoulder, "Sure thing, Woof! Mind if I finish this up and get showered and dressed at least, though?"
Jasyn chuckled and nodded, glancing down at the dog's tight shorts impulsively, "Err...yeah! Sorry for interrupting." He shook his head, "But, really, you can help me WHILE you work. This is more of a...planning stages sort of thing."
"Follow me around, then!" The shepherd turned and stretched, walking on around the corner of the house, with Jasyn close behind him, still looking the dog up and down. Duncan coughed, "You shouldn't stare y'know. Ain't polite." He looked back with a big, wide grin.
Jasyn stopped in his tracks and blushed, stammering as Duncan got to the back gate, "What are you talking about? I wasn't...I, uhm..." He trailed off, distracted by the half-dressed dog, again.
"Yeah, sure you weren't." Duncan chuckled as he opened up the gate to the back yard.
"Hey! It's not my fault that you're running around shirtless!" The wolf followed him through, "And besides: last night you took it as a compliment."
"And I still do. That don't make it polite." Duncan walked over to a pile of wood, and looked back over his shoulder at Jasyn before he even bothered thinking about picking any of it up, "So what's this about?"
Jasyn padded over and grinned thoughtfully, standing shoulder to shoulder with his friend, "Well, first of all...I told my parents this morning."
"You did??" The German shepherd turned completely to face the wolf, "Good for you! How much did you tell 'em? How'd they take it?"
"They took it really well!" Jasyn's face showed his continued surprise at that, "Dad was a little quiet, but it turned out Mom already knew. And I told them everything...uhm...well, except for the threesome."
"I'm really happy for ya', Woof. Sounds like somethin' worth celebratin'!" Duncan hoisted a large piece of wood up and onto his shoulder, "But first: what're ya' needin' my help with this fine Saturday?"
"Well...after talking with you last night and my parents this morning, I decided that it's about time to put an end to all this waiting around." The wolf looked up at his canine friend with an ever widening smile, "With your help...I'm gonna' get Alex back."
~
There we go! The soap opera, Forbidden, continues!!
* Starring: F. R. Borealis as Eric Matthew Cameron "Tanya" Tatyana Salnikov Fuller Duncan Joshua Porter Riddick Dumar Eden Cecil B. North as Alexander Collin Moen Jasyn Aiden Fuller and Mr. Fuller *
Cecil was a writer here as well, back in the Yiffstar days. If you want to check out the stuff he wrote back then, go ahead and look him up. His username on here is: Cecil_88
Could it be true? Are Alex and Jasyn about to finally put all of this behind them and get back together? Did Matt's tirade make the difference for Alex? And what role does Jasyn expect Duncan to play in this ordeal? But, you know...I find myself more concerned with Matt. It's no secret what's eating at the ottercoon. It was already made clear in The Cameron Hotel chapters 13 & 15 that he's fallen for Chris, and it's no stretch to assume that's the "best friend he can never truly touch" that he was talking about. But that obviously wasn't all that was on his mind. Apparently our ottercoon has had a history of bad relationships and broken hearts, judging from his anger over being "used for his money." So, what's to come next for Alex & Jasyn? Will they finally get one another back? And what of Matt? How will he go about facing his own problems from here? And anything happen to help them, or can we expect them to only get worse? Find out next time, in The Angel of Yiff!
SIDE NOTE: This chapter is a little special. Normally, I played both Matt and Alex, but I couldn't really RP the entire chapter by myself. So, for this chapter, alone, Cecil took over playing Alex.
Anyway, thanks for reading!
I welcome any feedback! Comment or PM me here, or email me at frostborealis[at]gmail.com
See you for the next 17 chapters of Forbidden! ^.^