Sir Auric and the Spider Queen
The second in the 'ridiculously obscene and totally gay' Adventures of Sir Auric.
1) Sir Auric and the Dragon
2) Sir Auric and the Spider Queen
3) Sir Auric and the Giant
4) Sir Auric and the Quest for Mawgawet
5) Sir Auric and the Sea Monster
. . . and more to come!
The saddle was gone, replaced by a harness. Two straps hung from the shoulders of the horse, through which Sir Auric put his arms. Two straps hung from the haunches of the horse, through which Sir Auric rested his legs when the horse was not hard, which was not often, which was not now.
His hole hung at the crook of the cock. With the slow trot of the horse, Sir Auric jiggled, causing mild pleasure. If the horse wanted more, he would have to gallop, faster and faster, tossing Sir Auric to and fro, forcibly impaled.
His cavity quite clear, Sir Auric clenched his rectum with all his might to keep tight; the now powerful muscle had a strong grip, which he had tested, having snapped a branch in two. Sir Auric felt the hum of friction on his rectum, an occasional jolt of pleasure, and the indescribable oneness with the cock, which was, well, indescribable.
The horse felt a tight ring stroking the base of its cock, a warm wetness on the shaft, and the occasional jolt of battering the head, which happened more and more the faster he galloped, jolt, jolt, jolt . . . wait for it . . . the horse whinnied, rearing to a stop, haunches tensed.
"I do say, quite impressive!"
Sir Auric looked left and right but could not find the stranger. He released himself from the harness, slowly standing on wobbly legs, stretching his stiff back.
"Allow me to introduce myself," the stranger said, extending a hand, "Tyrian the Purple." A wizened man, but not yet gray in his long brown beard, he wore a purple cone hat, tip bent, and a purple long coat, draping to his feet, in pointed purple shoes.
"Sir Auric," Sir Auric said as they shook. "Forgive me, but what you witnessed just now . . ."
"What I witnessed was quite a feat," Tyrian exclaimed. "May I try?"
With no reason to protest, Sir Auric nodded.
Tyrian hiked up his coat, exposing a surprisingly smooth, taut behind. With a tap of his wand, the horse grew long and firm. He positioned himself under the horse and, with the tap of his wand, received the 'big as his arm' cock comfortably.
"Oh yes, quite pleasant," Tyrian said with a sigh, rocking back and forth.
Sir Auric, his eyes wide, pointed. "How are you able to be impaled so?"
"A simple mutability spell," Tyrian said, pulling off. With a tap of his wand, his behind snapped back to its original shape. "To take a stallion, I have never seen the act done before, never even knew the notion conceived."
"Well, this dragon hypnotized me . . ."
"The dragon of the North Mountains?" Tyrian asked; Sir Auric nodded. "Yes, quite a trickster that one, using his ability to exploit the crux of his victims, the strongest and most courageous men turned scared, impotent, or infantile." He scoffed. "And what was your crux if you do not mind my asking?"
"I wanted to take it up the butt, but not be thought less of by doing so."
"Yes, no one would think you weak, fearful, or unable to protect yourself after witnessing that." He sighed. "I do not think you are aware of exactly what type of ordeal you overcame. You are the only one to escape the dragon so relatively unscathed, and that is why I am here!"
Brow furrowed, Sir Auric asked, "You are here for a reason?"
Tyrian crossed his arms, stroking his beard. "I am here because you are strong and courageous, were able to overcome the trickster dragon, and because you have a taste for the exotic." The horse, still hard, whinnied. "I need you to subdue the Spider Queen."
A quest! Sir Auric grew aroused at the thought, a chance to prove himself in battle as strong and brave, manly, the epitome of manliness, to be adored and admired . . . but that did not matter anymore; he slumped with a sigh.
"What is wrong?" Tyrian asked.
"Is this quest dangerous," he asked, Tyrian nodded, "with little chance that I will survive?" Tyrian nodded again. "Then why would I want to do it?"
"What would you want to do it?" Tyrian asked.
Sir Auric snapped his fingers. "That simple mutability spell, could I have it?"
"Yes, yes you can. I can make you an amulet." He chuckled, quite pleased with himself. "Subdue the Spider Queen, and it will be done."
The horse, still hard, whinnied.
*****
Deep into the forest, the trees became dense, diminishing daylight. Sir Auric, under the horse, strained his eyes to peer into the darkness. They stepped over leafy brush, which tickled his belly and dangling loins, but the next time might not be as pleasant, it might be a thorny bush. He stopped the horse by jerking the harness shoulder straps. With the straps gripped tight, he squirmed out of the rear harness, while being hosed with warm urine.
"You could not wait one second?"
The horse whinnied.
Sir Auric stepped to the rear of the horse. He gathered and pulled back the tail of the horse and returned the favor, his angled stream splashing the dark horse rectum.
Sir Auric stared deep into the black bud, tight, and now wet. It had been some time since he had received pleasure this way, the last being the grateful noblewoman after he rescued her kitten from a tree, which seemed only fair, pussy for pussy. Hands on haunches, his thumb stroked the hole, warm, and surprisingly soft. Sir Auric tucked his thumb inside; the horse hit the ground with a solid thud, a knee-jerk reaction.
"Almighty, are you okay?" Sir Auric examined the horse, which appeared okay, simply sitting. He coaxed the horse up off the ground. "Well then, back to work."
Sir Auric found a chunk of tree at the right height, which he hauled over. He stepped on the chunk of tree, gathering and pulling the tail of the horse aside. Up on his toes, pushing, the soft head splayed about the firm stalk, tucking into the hole; the horse hit the ground.
Sir Auric wound up on top, his erection bent at an awkward angle, which he remedied by scrambling up on all fours. Again, the horse seemed fine. "Almighty, if I was to be under you when this happened, I would have been squashed like a bug!" Well, not really, he thought, probably only quite broken, but still, he made a mental note not to put anything into the butt of the horse whilst under, which would be quite an acrobatic act anyway, and he was not that bendy.
Speaking of bendy, his cock recovered, still throbbing with the need for release. He slid down the haunches of the horse, gathering and pulling the tail of the horse aside. Kneeling and then pushing, the soft head splaying about the firm stalk, tucking into the hole, and the horse . . . whinnied.
Sir Auric, eyes closed, sighed. "I know you probably do not enjoy this -" the horse whinnied "- okay, you do not enjoy this, but I doubt this bothers you not in the least compared to the pleasure I am experiencing." The hole was quite thick and pliable, like a loose fist covered in fur. "Bunny fur," Sir Auric groaned, enjoying the warm tingle passing through his loins. The horse between his clenched thighs, as if riding, he could sleep like this, as he used to, and did . . .
*****
"Almighty!" Sir Auric cried, kicking at the spider on his foot and brushing one off the rear of the horse. Already both bites throbbed, red and sore.
"Do not mind that; it is only a little love bite."
Sir Auric, peering over the horse, righted himself.
"My, my, well are not you a handsome man."
Sir Auric squinted into the darkness, making out the form of, approaching, a . . .
"That is right, one-hundred and ten percent woman . . ." Hair in dreadlocks, her lanky frame was covered in a shimmering black gown, which she tauntingly raised. ". . . if you count the ten between my legs that is," she said, chuckling. She gave a peek of a thick brown cock before she dropped her gown. "But you must not like girls, apparently."
Sir Auric clasped his hands over his crotch in modesty. "Forgive me, you caught me off guard."
"I understand. I am too much woman for you." She held her hands to her temples. "Still, a hole is a hole, warm, wet, and tight . . ."
Sir Auric vividly recalled last night; swooning, his erection poked through his clasped hands.
"That was too easy," she said, chuckling, and again raised her hands to her temples. "Your bladder is so full, about to burst; you have been holding it for so long, and finally, release . . ."
Sir Auric clenched but too late; he passed a stream of urine, which quickly diminished into dribbles.
"Not bad," she said, nodding, "but let us try something more difficult." Her brow lightly creased. "In the heat of battle you get punched in the chest."
Sir Auric heard the battle cries and clanks of metal against metal. After a wide-arced swing of his sword, his guard down, a steel-covered fist pounded him, denting his armor. As he exhausted his last breath, he drew flush. He swooned, beginning to teeter, falling back on his heels . . .
"You recover!"
Sir Auric staggered, taking deep breaths.
"Ponder what I could have done," she said through clenched teeth. "I think you are ready."
"Ready for what?" he asked.
Behind her, glistening in the moonlight, a web was spun by dozens of fist-sized spiders. Unable to take his eyes off the shiny, he did not see her lips move, if they even did. It was as if she was in his head, weaving words into images.
"You have been on the road for days, a desolate landscape, barren, dry. Your lips are parched, your breath raspy, and your stomach grumbles."
Sir Auric hunched over, rubbing his grumbling belly.
"Your horse is weak, stumbling, and gluey in the mouth."
Sir Auric looked to his horse, its thick tongue pressed between sticky white lips.
"Mercy for the horse, and nourishment for you, this is your only salvation."
Sir Auric stumbled to the horse with tears in his eyes, patting its haunches lovingly. The other hand reached into his bundle, drawing his sword. He raised the sword, leveling the tip at the base of the skull of the horse. His hand shook, and then he dropped the sword.
"I cannot," he cried, in a grunt as he fell to the ground, clutching his belly.
"You would rather die than kill this animal?" She cackled. "Do not tell me you have feelings for this creature, that he is your friend."
"No, not my friend," Sir Auric groaned, "he is my lover."
She gasped. "To take a stallion, I have never seen the act done before, never even knew the notion conceived." With a snap of her fingers, the brilliant web and all the spiders dispersed, leaving them alone. "May I try?"
"Um," Sir Auric said with a grunt, "may I have something to eat first?"
She raised her hands to her temples again. "Having eaten a hearty meal, you are sated but not full."
Sir Auric belched contently then scrambled off the ground. "The horse is not engorged."
With a huff, then a swish of her gown, she approached the horse. "You see a sleek, gray mare, prancing in the meadow . . ."
She lifted up her gown, exposing a surprisingly smooth, taut behind, and bent over. He guided her under the horse and showed her how to grip the shoulder straps. The horse rutted as he would with Sir Auric.
"Wait!" Her hand flailed. "Have him hold still so that I can get adjusted."
Sir Auric stepped to the rear of the horse; one hand soothing its haunches as the other slipped a finger into its ass. The solid thud of a half-ton hitting the ground was accompanied by a wet crunch; black goo splattered straight out on all sides, coating his feet.
And with a growing clatter, the shadows of the forest began to move . . .
*****
The body of Sir Auric was cocooned in webbing so thick his form was barely visible, only the protrusion of his head, his arms joined with his torso, and his legs bound together. His jutting cock left uncovered, the spiders covered it, taking turns, nipping it to drink his blood.
"Skedaddle!"
With a flash of white light, the spiders scrambled away.
Tyrian the Purple knelt by Sir Auric and peeled the webbing from his face. Sir Auric was pale, almost gray, his eyes yellow, and he was still, too still. Tyrian held his hand out to check Sir Auric for breathing . . .
He stood and pointed his wand at Sir Auric. "Revitalizo!"
Sir Auric gasped a full breath, and then coughed in fits. Tyrian knelt at his side again, peeling the webbing from his body. His vitality and color restored, Sir Auric tried to sit up.
"Where is horse?" he asked, looking about frantically; he found a large mound of webbing.
Tyrian went to the horse and tapped it with his pointed shoe; it made a hollow thud. "I am sorry for your loss, but it looks like, by the spiders choosing him first, he saved your life."
"No!" Sir Auric wailed. He scrambled to the horse on his hands and knees, tearing off the webbing in fistfuls. Embracing the horse, he recoiled; it was only a dry, empty shell. "Horse, oh horse, I knew thee well . . ." He looked to Tyrian.
"I am afraid that he is beyond my help . . . unless you would like a zombie horse, which I advise against, they get rather ripe and their flesh falls off -" he shuddered "- and they only eat brains . . ."
"No, let him rest in peace, he deserves at least that." Sir Auric, sobbing, stood. "I must give him a proper funeral."
"That, at least, I can do." Tyrian raised his wand. "El fuego!"
The horse erupted into flame. Already desiccated, the smell was less like burnt flesh and more like burnt wood. Sir Auric watched solemnly, his arms crossed over his chest, one hand holding his brow.
"At least his death was not in vain," Tyrian consoled, "you did vanquish the Spider Queen." He chuckled. "And most effectively I might add."
"There is that," Sir Auric mumbled.
"Speaking of which . . ." Tyrian pulled something from the sleeve of his robe, a ring made of crystal, on a cord, which he handed to Sir Auric.
"Unfortunately, I no longer have need of this," he said with a sigh.
Tyrian scoffed. "Come now, this is strong magic, and you have earned it."
"But I only did this to be with horse, and, in doing this, I lost horse." He raised the back of his hand to his forehead. "Oh, cruel fate!" he wailed.
"Yes, yes, but I suggest you use it anyway." Tyrian peered behind Sir Auric. "Your barn door is open and you are letting in flies."
Sir Auric slipped the ring on his finger. "I want my ass to be high and tight . . ."
Nothing happened.
"No no," Tyrian said with a scoff, "close your eyes and think it, feel it . . ."
Sir Auric closed his eyes and pictured his ass as it was, round and hard, his hole as tight as that of a boy. His thoughts wandered off to how this came to be, the large cock of the horse, as big as his arm, and those huge balls . . . Before he got distracted, his took off the ring.
"I must say, good choice," Tyrian said, nodding.
Draping the ring around his neck, Sir Auric looked down. His cock was as big as his arm, and rested on balls the size of small melons. "Almighty," he exclaimed, "now I am the horse!"
"What a strange twist of fate," Tyrian said. "Well now, I must be off." Tyrian waved his wand, enshrouding himself in light. "Head to the giant in the forest to the West, and you will come across a friend." With a poof, he was gone.
Sir Auric grabbed his provisions, armor, sword, and shield and slung them on his back. He said goodbye to the charred spot on the earth that was once horse, and then headed out. With every step, his thighs bumped his balls, causing his huge cock to bob, which made him smile.