The Angel of Yiff Chapter 12
The Angel of Yiff Chapter 12 --
Guardian Angel -- Part 3 of 4 How To Please
A big part of me always loved Kevin, ever since we were little...and not just like any little brother looks up to and loves his big brother, either. He took care of me, he showed me that someone was there for me, and he treated me like I was his best friend. Whenever I felt alone and scared, his arms, his soft furred chest, and even his bed were right there within reach. And it was that way my whole life. I can't remember a time for the first 14 years of my life that he wasn't right there by my side.
And he was my FIRST too: the first paw touching me in all those perfect secret places, the first lips I felt on mine, and the first taste -- most literally -- of an intimate relationship with another living being. Unless prompted by someone else, the thought never even dawned on me, come to think of it, that he was a guy and that I was a guy. It just felt natural. I loved him, and he was everything to me. What could be more right?
For a year and a half -- or something like that -- we had been lovers to some extent, but we were really only friends that shared those secret touches, and numerous untold hours with one another, naked and alone. We lost our virginity to one another, and even participated in a four-way with two of Kevin's best friends, but something was missing. Something about the situation wasn't whole.
For a good few months after the foursome, something seemed wrong...and it stayed that way all through the spring semester, and most of the summer after it. Kevin and I were still playing whenever we had the chance, and we were still close, but he seemed just a little distant. For the first times in a long, long time, he was leaving even me alone at the house -- albeit on rare occasion -- to go hang out with his friends, without me. I thought he needed time away from me, but knowing what I do now...he was probably just going to Diego to have someone to talk to.
That September was my fourteenth birthday. School had just barely started, and during those few weeks leading up to the big day, Kevin had become even less available. On my birthday, though, things turned around completely. He greeted me with the same happy smiles and love I'd always come to expect. That's not to say it had been GONE during the months prior, but like I said, he'd been distant. That day, he wasn't.
Sometime into the evening, before dusk, he pushed open the door of my room and announced he was taking me out on the town. He didn't explain himself, and I didn't ask; I was just happy to be able to hang out with him again, especially on my birthday.
Neither of us had eaten supper yet, so he dragged me off to some little restaurant. I was always a little uncomfortable in places that fancy, but I'd gotten used to them thanks to Mike & Cheyenne...and at least the food was good.
We just sat and talked until we were done, and the next thing I knew, we were sitting together in a movie theater, his paw holding mine and making me feel warm all over, as the previews played in front of us.
The movie was Scott Pilgrim. We'd wanted to see it for a while, and were worried we'd gotten there too late, but luckily, it was still playing. When it was over, laughing and talking like the best of friends, he and I wound our way through the theater's lobby and out into the parking lot, in our own good time, toward, his car. He was already sixteen, and Mike & Cheyenne had gotten him one right away.
"That movie was awesome, Kevin! Too bad Fray and Diego didn't get to come with us, huh?" I was the first into the car, "Why'd you say they couldn't come, again?"
"No real reason. I just thought you might like it to be just me and you for your birthday, Kitten." Kevin looked worried, "Was I wrong?"
"Not at all!"
"Good."
"Regardless," I got back to the point at paw, "they really missed out!"
"I think they already saw it."
"So, do we have anything else planned for tonight?" I was turned almost sideways in my seat as Kevin pulled out of the parking lot, "Or are we just headed home?"
I remember he didn't really answer me, "Anything you'd LIKE to do, Kitten?"
But I didn't notice that then, "Not really. We ate before the movie. I say we just head home. Plenty we could do there."
Kevin nodded but he didn't say anything back. That didn't worry me or anything, though; I just figured he didn't have a response. He kept driving on down the road for a few minutes, and then he seemed to pause for a moment, before he put on his blinker. Still without a word, he turned down a small dirt road that took us to an open lot well away from the actual street.
I didn't say a thing as we made our way down the little road, but I couldn't help but smile sheepishly once we were parked. It's not my fault that sex was the only thing on my mind. I'd just turned 14, after all! "Why didn't you say you wanted to break in the new car?"
Kevin stayed silent for a very long moment. I don't know how long it was, but it's still one of the two longest 'awkward silences' I've ever sat through...even today. I had no clue why he was being quiet, but it knotted my stomach almost immediately. I was so worried that I had done something wrong; I don't know why, though, I knew I hadn't.
Finally he looked over at me, and I saw this look in his eyes that I'd never seen before. He was scared.
"Kev...are you okay?"
He placed a paw over mine, "Riddick...I wanna' talk to you about something."
"What's wrong, Kevin?"
He paused for a second and leaned forward, kissing me softly on the lips...and it wasn't in a sexual way. It was just a kiss, and nothing more. I closed my eyes and kissed back, making no attempt to open my lips. Not counting little ones on the cheeks, I couldn't remember the last time we'd just shared a kiss like that: a kiss with no tongue, with no carnal ulterior motives.
I took a breath as it broke, "What was that for?"
He rested his paw lightly on my cheek, and the next words that came out of his mouth had a new and definite weight to them I wasn't expecting. It was like a confession: like he had to muster every bit of his courage to say it, "I'm in love with you, Riddick."
I tried to take a breath but it caught in my throat, making me cough before I could respond, "...in...?"
He didn't answer. He just kept his face set and serious and leaned forward, pulling me into a hug without saying a word.
I hugged him back, but it was as unsure and unsteady as I ever had. This was all happening so suddenly, or at least, it felt like it was back then, "Kevin? What are you saying?"
"That I love you." His voice was soft, inches from my ear, "I love you more than a friend...more than a brother...more than anything."
I pulled away from him and looked him in the eyes, needing to see them, "I...I thought...I mean, I just..." I paused, not having expected anything like this that night, or even when he turned down the road and said he needed to talk, "You love me?"
He kept my paw in his, and didn't avert his eyes. He was serious, and he wasn't backing down, "I do."
"For...for how long?"
"I'm not sure. I've known for a while...but only lately really understood it, or got the nerve to say anything."
I looked at Kevin's paw in mine and squeezed it, watching how our fingers intertwined, "...oh?" I wonder how I looked to him there: my eyes locked, staring at his paw. Lost? Scared? Confused? But I was just trying to make sense of it all. I kept doing my best to say something but I couldn't seem to find the words, and I could only hope that Kevin didn't take it the wrong way.
His gentle smile didn't break, but he did look away, "It's okay if you don't know how you feel, Kitten...or even if you don't feel the same way."
I shook my head like mad, jumping to defend that immediately, "Nono! It's not that. I-I just..."
"You just?
"I don't know? It's just...I mean, what will p..." I cut myself off; I felt like I was getting ahead of myself, "Wait. Are you asking me to...to be your boyfriend?"
He rubbed my paw: a gentle caress. Just like always, his first concern was me. He was trying to make sure I was comfortable, "I am."
"What...what if it gets out, though? I mean, if we're a couple...and people find out, what will they think of us? Being b-brothers and everything..."
There was a confidence in his eyes that, at the time, I thought I could never have, "They wouldn't find out anything." He smiled at me, and I believed him completely, "As for me, though, Kitten: I don't care what they would think. Not one person or their opinion of me is as important as you. But I'm not about to do anything that could hurt you. I promise you that no one will find out if you don't want them to."
"So you mean...you really want..." I paused again, "You mean, it'll just me and you, like...for good? No more fooling around with other guys, no more foursomes like with Fray and Diego? We'd really be dating one another..." I really wasn't sure I was ready for something like that, even with Kevin, "Real boyfriends?"
He answered first by nuzzling my paw, "If it's what you wanted. Yes. Just me and you."
"Would...I mean, you would be okay with that? You'd do that for me? No more fooling around?" Back then, I really thought that Kevin played with lots of other guys; I thought it was what he was doing every time he was with Diego and Fray without me. I guess I was a little short sighted, though. Looking back, now, it's obvious that I was all he wanted.
He laughed at me, "Kitten? It wouldn't exactly be hard. The last time I so much as touched another guy was the foursome."
"It was?" I was legitimately shocked by that, "What about before then?"
He looked down and then back up, and his voice took on the tone of a confession again, "I haven't done anything without you being involved in...a year and a half?"
"Since...since the night I climbed into bed with you and we...?"
"Exactly." He smiled, "Not even so much as pawing off with someone else...let alone actually fooling around."
I blushed at that. I don't think I really understood what that meant to me yet, but I liked to hear it anyway, "What about...? I mean, we're brothers. Isn't that wrong?"
Kevin laughed at me again, but I never felt like he was making fun of me when he did, "STEPbrothers, Kitten. We're not technically blood related." He kissed me on the forehead, and paused there. I felt his breath on my face, "So...it's only half wrong I guess. And a little bit of wrong can be exciting...right?" He leaned back, but his paw stayed on my cheek, "Besides...I'd love you even if you were someone off the street. I love you because of you, Riddick. You may be my brother, but you're more than that. You're my best friend. You're the sweetest, cutest guy I know. You're funny, you're sexy, and you're smart. You're too self-conscious to see ANY of that for yourself, which is just adorable. You're great in bed...and you're...you're my Kitten."
I was reeling from all of that. Kevin always had a way of making me feel amazing about myself, but I didn't even know HE felt like that about me, "You've really already thought all this out, haven't you?"
He smiled, "I have."
"You've always been so good to me Kevin. You take care of me when Mom and Mike treat me bad, you...you've never treated me like your annoying little brother, like some of the guy's older brother's do. You always know just how to make me smile when I'm sad. But..." I took a long deep breath.
"B-but?" Right as the repeated word left his lips, I watched his white bordered ears flatten.
I jerked myself to sit up straight, the second they dropped. I shook my head frantically and my eyes were as wide as they could be. I'm not sure what I thought I was going to say. I didn't even know what I wanted, but I certainly wasn't about to let him think I was saying no, "No! Nono! What I meant, what I was gonna' say was," I took a deep breath again, "...but I never realized you had feelings for me."
I took yet another deep breath, I don't know why I kept doing that, but it was keeping me steady. I was feeling so many things that I didn't understand, not all of them were new, but they were all hitting me at once. I felt a warmth in my chest. I wanted to smile even though I wasn't really happy. I felt like I was fighting to keep my breathing under control. But most of all I felt this strong need -- it was like I was tingling, like my body trying to force me -- a need to just lean over, to hug Kevin, and to hold onto him as tight as I could. For some reason though, I couldn't do it, and I just sat there wide eyed, shaking, and silent.
Kevin squeezed my paw once more and turned away, "C'mon...let's just go home, Riddick."
I looked back up, my eyes were still wide, my face was hot, and I felt...I could only call it terrified. I didn't know what I was afraid of, but before I knew it, I was shaking uncontrollably, "No! Kevin, I...I don't mean to...I didn't." I breathed in shakily, clasping my paws together and just not knowing what to say.
He started the engine, smiling an obviously forced and half hearted smile over me, "It's okay, Kit..." I'll always remember that split second, when he stopped himself and made the concious decision to NOT call me 'Kitten,' "...it's okay, kiddo. I shouldn't have expected this to go great."
I can't even explain what I was feeling then. I think I felt heartbroken. I wanted him to call me Kitten, again. I wanted everything to be okay. I wanted to tell him yes, or for us to rewind before any of this had happened. Whatever it took, I just wanted anything other than that moment: anything that wasn't me hurting him like that. And, despite how confused I was about everything else, THAT suddenly clicked with me. I wasn't upset because of me: because I was scared or worried. I was upset because I didn't want Kevin to be hurt. I wanted him to be happy again.
Before I could say a word, though, he remembered something, "Oh! Before I forget..." He leaned back and reached around the seat, picking up a small box and pawing it to me, "Here: I wanted to get you a little something. I know it's not really the same great ending to this conversation that I was HOPING it would be...but I still want you to have it." He smiled a little wider. To this day, I still think it actually made him a little happier just to be able to give it to me, even though nothing else was going right for him that night.
I opened it up, and found a thin chain inside with a little pendant hanging off of it. It was a simple round medallion with some weird tribal looking symbol on the front. I turned it around in my palm, and found a small engraving on the back. I think it was showing what the symbol meant. In an engraved bit of cursive on the back, it said 'Guardian Angel.'
Kevin put his paw on my thigh as I read it, "It's just so you'll always remember that I'm there for you...no matter what, Riddick."
I felt my lower jaw and lip quivering. It was just all too much for me, and with a few stuttered half-sobbing attempts at words, I just started to cry. I just stared at Kevin's face, looking into his eyes, and I broke down. I sobbed and squeezed the pendant in my paw so hard that it hurt. I knew what I wanted before we ever drove down that road, I was just being stupid and scared.
Kevin frowned and flattens his ears. I'm sure he just thought I was hurt, and, like always, I was his first concern, "Riddick, no! Please don't cry, Kitten! Not over me!"
Kitten.
I didn't know what else to do, so I just reached over, turned off the car, pulled the keys out, and dropped them in his lap. We weren't going anywhere. I looked back at him and sniffled, barely forcing out a few words between sobs, "Thank you..." And I dived forward, all the way into my brother's seat to wrap my arms around him.
My eyes were closed, so I don't know how he reacted. All I remember was feeling his arms softly wrap back around me as he pulled me farther into his seat. He didn't say a word.
"Kevin? Who...who in the hell else would I want to be with??" I clung tight to him and forced myself to stop sobbing for him, "No one else takes care of me like you do. No one does so much for me. No one else...no one else is you."
He just rubbed my back and still didn't say a word, just letting me talk.
"I didn't mean to make you think I was saying no. I didn't mean to make you think I didn't...I mean..." I took in another shaky breath to calm myself, "I love you too, Kevin. I love you."
He hugged me tighter, pulling me against him as close as we could be before he finally spoke up, shakily, "You do?" He was crying too.
I just nodded and leaned in closer. I didn't know what else it could be, to be feeling like this: the warmth in my chest, the jump inside when I saw the gift, and feeling so at home and safe there in Kevin's arms. It had to be love, what else could possibly make me feel so whole, and so at home?
We stayed like that for...I want to say it felt like hours, but I'd rather avoid hyperbole. We were there, just hugging each other long after the crying stopped. If I had to give an honest guess, I'd say we didn't move or say a word for fifteen or twenty minutes.
Finally, though, he kissed me on the forehead and smiled, as both of us made it back to our proper seats, "Are you ready to head home, sweetheart?"
"Wait." I shook my head, and looked at him both seriously and shyly.
"Something wrong?"
"No, it's just..." I shook my head again and smiled, "Not sweetheart. I like Kitten. It's special...it's mine."
He laughed, "Are you ready to head home, then, Kitten?"
"I think so..." I put the necklace on while he started the car again, and I turned the pendant over in my paw, looking at the inscription again, "Thanks...Angel."
He smiled at that like I'd never seen from him. It was the kind of smile that sinks in your cheeks even if you don't have dimples...the kind that you can't fight off with every muscle in your face...and the kind that I felt stretching out across my own face as I ran a finger over the pendant in my paw.
I still smile just like that every time I think about that night. And I still keep the pendant too. I only keep it nearby though: like in my pocket or hanging on something in my room. I'd love to wear it again; I really would. It means a lot to me that he gave it to me -- so does what it represented -- but every time I try to put it on, now...it just hurts. All it does is remind me: remind me of what I don't have, and of a lot of bad memories I'd rather not think about.
After that night, he wasn't Kevin anymore, he was Angel. He was MY Angel. I think, after that, I actually called him Angel more than I called him Kevin. It always seemed to put a smile on his face. I think it was less about what it meant after a while, and more just because it was a pet name. And I kept it up, too; I would have done anything to make him happy.
We were boyfriends then, really boyfriends. Not that we hadn't already been as close as possible since I was 12 -- and even before -- but over the course of that next school year, it was like we were a part of each other. We could almost feel what the other was feeling at times, and everything only felt 'right' when we were together. Diego and Fray told us how cute we were so often, that it got annoying. It was so sweet and cliché. I should have expected, right? I mean, it was almost too perfect, wouldn't you say?
It was an average night: the Sunday right before the last week of the school year. We had spent a big chunk of the day 'hanging out with friends,' which really meant that had one of our secret dates. Then we came home, finding every moment we could alone to kiss, or cuddle, or hug, and just waited for Mike and my mom to go to sleep, so, at the end of the day, I could hop out of my bed and slip into his.
It had been harder and harder for the last few months to find time to play. So it got to the point where, just about every night, we didn't waste any time at all after I got into his room before we were naked and getting down to business. He would meet me with a deep, passionate kiss as one of us closed the door with a footpaw, and we'd clumsily strip one another as we made our way to, and fell on the bed.
After that, our paws and mouths were all over one another, and this particular night wouldn't prove to be any different. We had been fooling around for a while, but mainly it was me having my fun with him that night, while he just laid back and got pampered. I knew how to please.
After a while of just playing with him -- sucking him, pawing him, rimming him, and lavishing him all over -- I found my head back between his legs. After nuzzling firmly under and then lapping at his nuts, I raised my head up and rested my chin on his cock, just smiling at him.
Kevin let out a breathy laugh and rubbed my ear, "Getting better every day, Riddick."
"What?? You mean I'm STILL not doing it PERFECTLY?" I acted offended, "Damn-it Angel, we've been at this for over two years, now! What more is there for me to learn?"
He just pulled me up and kissed me, "Plenty! And I plan to teach you everything you need to know."
"Well, you sure are taking long enough." I kissed him back, "You've been slacking off! You're a bad teacher!" I winked.
"Is that so...? Maybe I should be punished then..."
"Nope, no punishment tonight, Angel." I nuzzled his cheek lightly, "I just want a nice, slow, sweet night, tonight...if that's okay?"
He never argued; whatever I wanted was always okay, "Of course it is."
"Now where was I?" I kissed Kevin's neck and trailed down, planting this long line of kisses all the way down his chest and stomach.
He just laughed softly leaned back, putting his arms behind his head and giving me free reign, "You go for it, Riddick..."
"Yes, Mr. Terrance..." I took hold of Kevin's cock with my paw very softly -- basically just letting it rest in my cupped palm -- and I licked the his balls again, rolling them with my tongue.
He moaned and squirmed, "Nice..."
I looked up at the reddish pink member in front of my eyes, still wet from the treatment I was giving it just a few minutes earlier, and then scooted myself father up just a few inches, "Back to my studies." I tilted it up and opened my mouth, letting it slip back in and slide to the back of my muzzle.
He murred, pushing up slightly, "That's it Riddick. You're doing great..." He was always so encouraging.
I took it all the way in, then sucked firmly as I pulled back up twice. The second time I paused at the head and to run my tongue around it and teasingly flick the tip. He gasped and squirmed under me, as he tried his damnedest to push up into my muzzle and get more than just the tip in his mouth.
I put my paw on his stomach, though, and pushed him back down, not about to let up off of my teasing. I loved to make him squirm and whimper, and Kevin should have known by then that it would take more than that to stop me.
Kevin gasped and tensed. I could tell he was trying to hold himself back, "C-come on, Kitten. Stop teasing..." I just suckled harder, though, and even nipped at the tip with my teeth, feeling him shiver under me, "Sh-shit."
I swirled my tongue all around it, moving down just enough to rake my teeth over the head. I stopped there, flicking my tongue at the tip again and suckling in a pulsating pattern.
He whimpered, and I could the sheets being tugged at as he gripped them, "R-Riddick...?"
I licked up off of the cock finally; I was just waiting for that cute little whimper of his, "Yes sir?"
His whimpering continued for a moment even though I had stopped; maybe it was that final lick or my breath on him as he tried to relax, "Please stop teasing..."
"Sorry...but you know I can't help it. You're just so cute whimpering and squirming like that."
He glared at me jokingly, "Shut up, you..."
I slid up the length of his body, "Okay. We've been at this for God knows how long already...ready to move on?" We had to get to sleep eventually.
"You bet."
I rubbed his chest as I lied on top of him; I always loved how soft his fur was, "I love you, Angel..."
"I love you too." As he wrapped my arms around me, I noticed my pendant hanging down and lying in his chest fur.
"So," I got back to business, "who's on top tonight?"
"Well, I was a BAD teacher..." Kevin was always so incorrigible,
"Yes you were: a VERY bad teacher."
"Mm-hmm. I think you know what that means..." He wriggled underneath me, repositioning himself until he wrapped his legs around my waist.
"Fine, fine. I guess he'll never learn his lesson if I don't punish him a bit..." I winked, but then leaned in close to nuzzle him by the ear and whisper, "You still want me to go slow right?"
Kevin licked my cheek, "Yeah..." He could say a lot of things, but I knew he liked it slow and gentle; he always had.
I shook my growing mane off to one side, and then kissed him again. Lips locked with his, I pushed my hips forward. First, my tip pressed under Kevin's balls. I was usually a bit off-aim at first in this position, but with a little bit of shifting, I lowered it enough to find the hole and push again.
He shivered and gasped as I pushed in, and he kissing me back, forcefully. I held on to him tightly, making sure to push in nice and slow as I enjoyed the feeling of his hole stretching and inching down my shaft...father and father until I couldn't push anymore.
Tense and still shaking, he broke the kiss and leaned back with a smile, "Go ahead."
I put my paws in Kevin's chest fur, gripping it as I pulled back and pushed in. The covers had been thrown off to the floor and both of us were bare to the world, as I pushed in and out of his hole at the same torturously slow pace he always wanted.
He smiled, rocking back and forth with my thrusts, and clenching his tailhole around me, "I...ngh...I love my little kitten...so much."
I leaned down, my breaths involuntarily timed with my thrusts, "And I love...my fluffy...colorful...guardian angel."
At least, I can still look back at the fact that those were our parting words.
I heard the door knob jiggle behind us and I froze as the door swung open. It was well lubed and it didn't make a sound, but the new light flooding into the room was unmistakable, and so was Mike's voice behind us.
"Kevin? Have you seen Rid-" I don't know what any of the three of us were thinking. I couldn't imagine what would go through a father's head -- any father: even Chris, let alone Mike -- at seeing his sons having sex with one another. As for us, we just froze: some automatic reaction, like we thought he wouldn't see us if we didn't move. But, of course, he had, "Oh...my...God..."
I jumped and pulled out of Kevin quickly enough for it to hurt him, but I don't know how badly, and then fell backward and tumbled off the bed. Wide eyed and staring at Mike in the doorway, I scurried around to the side of the bed, barely making it to my feet as I grabbed a pillow to cover myself.
As I fumbled about, Kevin sat up, flipping around as he pulled the blankets from the floor over himself, "Dad!"
Mike finally snapped, "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?"
It had been so long since I'd even worried about being caught. I just stood there shaking, and though I wasn't even thinking about it, I'd lost my erection almost before I'd even made it to my feet, "M-Mike! I-it's not, I mean, I...w-we were just..."
Mike padded over quickly, jerking me up by the arm as hard as he could, "What the fucking hell do you think you were doing!?" He turned his head and glared over at Kevin too, "BOTH of you?!"
"Dad! Don't be angry at him! It was m-"
"Shut the hell up!" He looked away from his son and glared down at me again.
I pulled against Mike's grip...but he was holding on so tight, "Let me go!! You're hurting me!"
He just shook me and screamed, "Shut up!" then glared over at Kevin, "And you get dressed! I'll talk to you next..." I had never seen him so angry, such utter contempt in his eyes, as he turned his attention back on me, "YOU are coming with me!"
"I'm not going anywhere!" I pulled harder and harder and thrashed about, trying to get away from him however I could, "Let me go!"
He screamed louder and almost lifted me up, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!"
Kevin scrambled across the bed, about to intervene, "Let go of him! What are you doing!?"
Mike only glanced over, but Kevin stopped dead in his tracks, "DON'T you move. You stay right where you are. I'll be back for you, soon enough."
One of my footpaws not quite on the floor anymore, I just whimpered. I didn't want to, but I didn't have any choice but to submit to Mike. He didn't say anything else; he just pulled me, dragging me out of the room. Kevin wasn't left the chance to say even one more word as I watched him on the bed, just beginning to cry as I was taken away.
I was completely naked and felt demeaned and exposed as he slammed Kevin's door and pushed me against the hallway wall.
"So, what the fuck were you doing, Riddick? OH!" He squeezed my arm hard enough that there would be a bruise there for a week, "That's right! You were fucking my son!!"
I winced at the yelling and looked down, "He...he w-wanted me to. It wasn't like h-he couldn't have stopped me...I just..."
Mike scowled and turned, clenching his fists. I was so afraid I was about to get hit, but he didn't do it. As bad as he and mom had been, they never beat me...at least no more than the occasional overzealous spanking when I was a cub, "Go put some damned clothes on..." He dropped me, "From YOUR room. We'll continue this with your mother."
I just nodded and slinked away, pressed against the wall until I could step away from it and away from Mike, "C-can I at least..." I looked up at him and over at the door to Kevin's room, "...t-tell him goodnight?"
"The HELL you will!! You had better hope whatever what you last said was good enough! Because it's the LAST time you'll get to say anything to him."
I winced again and backed up, not about to cry in front of Mike, and turned, half running back to my own room.
He was right, or he might as well have been: that was as good as the last time I'd ever see Kevin. But, at least I was lucky enough that we got to part on the words we did. They kept echoing in my head as I lied -- curled up and naked -- on my bed that night.
It was almost like we knew they'd be out last.
"I love my little kitten, so much..."
"And I love my fluffy, colorful, guardian angel..."
I never dressed that night; I just couldn't seem to make myself. And they never came to my room, anyway. After all, what did they care to even spend the time yelling at me? No, Kevin got the brunt that time. I was so worried that they were going to send me away, but I should have known better. That would have split me and Kevin up, sure, but it would NOT have left me under their thumbs. They would never allow that. I wasn't going anywhere...at least, not yet.
When I woke up the next day, Diego was at the house to pick me up. He said Kevin had called him, but that Kevin didn't tell him what happened. He was just crying and told Diego that he needed to get me to school...because Cheyenne & Mike wouldn't bother.
I told him everything, right there in his car, and we just skipped school. He took me to the mall and we sat and talked for most of the day, the coyote letting me cry on his shoulder even out in public like that. He was there for me all day. He was Kevin's best friend after all; it was the least he could do.
When he finally took me home, I only found Mike and Cheyenne waiting for me, with the same contempt in their eyes they'd always had. They had already taken Kevin up north somewhere. As rich as they were, it wasn't hard for them to do; they just made a few calls, pawed him over to one of his uncles, and he was gone. They told me that he was too far away from me, now, for me to 'influence' him, anymore...and that I'd never see him again. He was already getting enrolled in a private school for the fall, they said, and I might as well give up on ever having him back.
I still wouldn't cry in front of them, though. I told myself that I wouldn't let them break me...but they already had. So, I guess it was more that I just couldn't let them see that they'd won. I ran up the stairs to Kevin's room, a part of me still hoping he would be there, waiting for me, with open arms and that same passionate kiss. But, of course, he wasn't. I fell onto his bed and gripped his sheets -- I could still smell him on them -- and I just curled up there. I barely moved all night, unless you count when I jerked with my sobs, and I just cried into his sheets and pillows until I fell asleep.
For weeks after that night, they told me every day that it was all my fault that 'their son turned fag,' though with inventive new words every time. They told me that I was worthless, and they told me that they would have gotten rid of me -- 'gotten me out of their sight for good' -- but that none of Cheyenne or Mike's relatives, 'in their right mind,' would have taken me.
I guess that's how it finally happened. At some point, with no one to tell me otherwise at the end of the night, like Kevin had for all those years BEFORE when they told me I was worthless, I just started believing them. You get told something enough, and it starts to feel true, you know?
I mean...I had initiated it almost two years earlier, and then I made him fall for me; it must have been my fault. And if my own mother couldn't even love me, what proof was there that I was anything OTHER than worthless? How could anyone REALLY love me, how could I really be worth anything, if my own family hated me so much?
Before long, I was a different person. I lost every bit of respect I'd had for myself, I was waking up to a home full of people that hated me, and, for me for the first time in my life, I was spending my nights alone, without anyone there to love me. I couldn't take it. I needed love -- I needed to FEEL loved -- and I couldn't live without it.
To their credit, Diego and Fray tried their best to help me. And it wasn't easy for them to do, either. They couldn't visit the house except to take me to school, since Cheyenne & Mike turned them away, otherwise. We still talked at school, though, and we talked whenever I would leave the house, which for some reason, my 'parents' never tried to stop.
The two of them tried so hard to comfort me and to be there for me...but they could NEVER be what Kevin was. The bigger problem, though, was that I was anything but willing to LET them help. Regardless of what they said, their words fell on deaf ears, completely lost on me. I even lashed out at them a few times in the state I was in, and eventually, they just stopped trying. I was a lost cause.
I hear on TV, sometimes, that people who overeat are using the food as a substitute for love. It's something about how the food never hurts them; it's always there for them, and it's a comfort. Well, I was getting to a point where I needed that, too. I had to have it; I needed that false, hollow 'love' just to get myself through each day. The thing is: with me, it wasn't food.
I went with what I knew best. Sex.
Kevin had trained me well after all, and I was good at what I did. Who wouldn't give me some small part of their lives -- a night, an hour, or even thirty minutes -- for the open, hungry mouth or raised tail of a needy, neglected, and vulnerable kid? I knew that, even if I wouldn't have used those words at the time, but I didn't care if they didn't love me. In those moments, I could let myself believe they did. At the very least, someone wanted me: someone needed me, no matter how superficially. They needed to get off, and I took full advantage of what I had to offer them.
It wasn't hard to find the bars and the clubs, and it wasn't hard -- even at 14 and 15-years-old -- to get in, either. I have yet to meet the bouncer that can't be 'swayed' with a paw or a muzzle. The worst part of it all, though...was that I was really becoming just as worthless as Cheynne & Mike always told me I was. I made it to these clubs night after night, ready with a raised tail and open throat for any male fur -- regardless of age, appearance, or species -- that wanted me.
I was their toy -- theirs to use and abuse however they saw fit -- and I loved it. It made me feel, even if only for the shortest periods of time, loved. It made me feel loved and needed, to be filled and used like that...just so long as I wasn't alone. I had no respect for myself, and they had no reason to have any respect for me. Most of the time, we each left the bar or the club not even knowing the other's name.
There's this one particular night that I still remember very well. It was that following fall, just a little after my fifteenth birthday. Most nights just blur together: a bear here, a horse there, a dragon, even an orgy or two if you can call 5 or 6 guys all taking turns fucking me an orgy. But this night was different, and I still remember it, even though it DID start out just like all the others.
I wasn't in this particular club for the first time, and it wouldn't be my first time to get laid there either. I was always sure it would work out, and I hadn't been wrong yet. After a while of searching for just the right person, I found my mark, as usual, and took a seat next to a big, muscular brown horse at the bar.
"Hey there."
He blinked, halting in his idle swirling of his glass, and looked over at me, "Uhm...can I help you, kid?"
I just smiled as I turned to face him, "I'm not a kid..."
"Sure you aren't." He sat his drink aside and laughed at me. It was a mocking laugh, but I didn't mind, "So, what do you want?"
I was actually a little upset, if I remember right, that I didn't have an excuse to use the line 'I can prove to you I'm not a kid!' but I figured there were plenty of ways to go about this, "I don't know." I moved a footpaw forward, running it up the back of the horse's leg, "You just looked a little lonely. I thought maybe I could...keep you company?"
His voice lowered, "Damn kid..."
I just tilted my head as I slipped my footpaw into the leg of his pants, "What?"
He shook his head and moved his leg back, "Kid, you're like...thirteen..."
I leaned forward and put a paw on his thigh, "I'm fifteen. And besides, I can make you forget how old I am, real quick!" I smiled, moving my paw up his thigh, barely touching his crotch.
The horse gasped and jerked back. He narrowed his eyes at me and looked around, speaking extra quietly now, "How the hell do I know this isn't some sort of trick...?"
"Like a sting?" I laughed at him, "You really think the police would put me in danger like this to just to catch someone at the bar? And it's not like you could really get in trouble AFTER the fact, either. It's pretty dark in here, and uhm...I have no intention of asking your name."
He gulped and hesitated for a moment, and then leaned forward, but still kept an eye on the people around us, "Where?"
I grabbed his hand with a smirk, "This club doesn't have rooms for that kind of thing, but there are lots of boxes in the alley and no security cameras." I stood up and winked, "I'll lead the way..."
He took a deep breath and stood up, following me along. If there were any lingering questions in his mind about this, I'm sure all it took was a quick glance at my ass, swaying as we walked, to get him over it. I pushed open a door way in the back of the club, causing a beam of light -- just from the moon but still bright in the club -- to shine in before we quickly exited into the alleyway.
He stepped out behind me, crossing his arms as he leaned against the wall, "Alright then kid, you've got me interested and out here. What do you want to do?"
I took a few steps up toward the horse, answering with my paws as he gripped his thick sheath through his pants.
He chuckled and raised his eyebrows, "You move quick..."
I pressed my smaller feline body up against the horse's as I stroked him through his pants, feeling him steadily growing in my paw already, "This is just what I do, big guy."
The horse nickered softly -- it took me forever to figure out what to call that noise -- and ran a hand through my headfur, "Well then get to it, little lion."
I unbuttoned the horse's pants and dropped down to my knees. My newest playmate's dick was already unfolding up out of the sheath as I licked it and took the emerging head into my muzzle. Even as I did, I knew I wouldn't be able to do so for long -- not as big as horses get -- but I wanted at least a little taste before I raised my tail for him.
The horse half-neighed and grinned, "Nice, kid." He bucked his hips lightly, forcing an inch or two of his growing cock farther into my mouth. It was hard to take even that much, but I was used to it. I've never met a horse who really understood how big he was.
I put an arm around the horse's back and gripped his pants, not letting them fall down just in case someone WERE to come back there. I had that all down to a science. I slid my paw up his stomach and up to his chest, rubbing and tweaking one of his nipples gently while I made sure to suck as hard on his cock as I could manage.
"Oah...keep that up..." He put both his hands on the back of my head and pushed me down more.
I let the horse's cock father in without any struggle; I had to be a good toy. I did make sure to watch how much it was swelling, though, so I'd be able to get off in time before it got too big. I tweaked his nipple a little harder and then moved my paw back down, squeezing and pulling on his nuts. You know...funny thing was: I didn't even have an erection from everything that night. I wasn't really into it; I was basically just 'doing my job.'
He groaned, gripping one of my ears, "Kid, I haven't blown my load in three days, and it's gonna come one of two ways, up your ass, or in your mouth...your choice."
I felt the horse getting too swollen and I pulled off. I always hated how quick that happened with equines; I never got to have enough fun. I licked at the head of it hungrily as it continued to grow, then looked up at him, "I made that choice before I even sat down beside you. I mean, I wouldn't want to choke to death, right?"
He just chuckled, "No, you wouldn't want to choke."
I slowly stood up, my paws on top of his shirt, on his chest, "You wanna' take me?"
The horse wrapped his hands around the my hips and grinned, "Hell yeah, I do!" He pushed his hard member against my stomach forcefully, "How do you want it, slut?"
"How about I put my paws on that wall behind you, and stick out my hips?" I licked up onto the horse's neck, "You can jerk my pants down and have your way with my ass. That's how everyone else likes it..."
He grinned and licked my forehead, "Sounds great, kitty..."
I grinned back and let go of him, walking around behind and doing just like I said I would: paws on the wall and ass back, with my tail curled up onto my back, "Have fun, Mister..."
He turned around and jerked my pants down with one brutal pull. Luckily for me, I'd gotten into the habit of wearing them under my tail for easier access. He huffed out a breath and pressed his wet, dribbling tip against my waiting hole, "You ready?"
I pretended that it wasn't going to hurt, "Don't you worry about me. I'm always ready..."
The horse leaned over, pressing his chest against the middle of my back, "Alright then..." He jerked his hips forward, burying no telling how much of his shaft into me
I imagine he was moaning in my ear, but I couldn't hear it. I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth, as my hole was pushed open and my insides were filled. I was on fire and I knew I'd been torn open. No matter how many other furs I took -- and no matter how many horses, in fact -- the horses always managed to hurt me. My head was swimming, my whole body immediately got weak, and I just held on as best I could. I faked a comfort with the situation I didn't have, though, "That's it, horsey! As h-hard as you want. Give me...all you've got..."
He groaned and pushed in more, nickering loudly, "You love this...don't you kid?"
I moaned aloud and threw my head up, intentionally not answering the question, "Ngh! N-no one fills me up qu-quite like a horse..." My breaths were labored and heavy, "Use me. Make me yours!"
He jammed in one more time. His entire shaft -- I try not to think about how long it must have been -- was buried to the hilt inside of me, and he panted and gripped my shoulders, "Mmm...shit...nice and tight, kid..."
I ground back against him, rolling my hips a bit and moving the huge member around inside of me. It made it hurt even more for me, but I knew how to please, "What...what wouldn't be tight around something your size?"
The horse nipped at my neck, "You know how to get a guy excited." He pulled back and jammed in quickly, quickly getting into a rhythm, "Great...ngh! Fucking great..."
I pressed my fingers into the stone wall like I was trying to dig them in but couldn't, and let out more high-pitched moans. It hurt; it always hurt with horses. Maybe it was better that way, though, because it took my mind off of things...like why I was even in the ally with my pants down and tail raised to begin with.
By then, he was pulling out all the way to the tip before shoving back in, and he was gripping my shoulders so tight it hurt, "I'm gonna cum in your ass kid!"
"Do it! M-make me your mare! Use me!" I hung my head down and dug against the wall harder: my fingers pressed so hard that the felt like they were about to bleed.
He fucked frantically -- thrust after powerful, quick, erratic thrust -- moaning and yelling louder, "Here it comes kid!"
I clenched my teeth...not that the cum would hurt me that much more, but it was always so damned hot. He slammed in one last time, yelling out as he shook and sprayed what felt like waves of searing hot cum into my ass.
He jerked himself out of me quickly after he came, and my knees buckled. My paws left the wall in front of me and I fell to the ground. I just laid there on the cold concrete. My pants were around my ankles, and my head was spinning. I was still in pain, but I did my best not to act like it, playing off my breaths like I was just tired ones, like anyone would have been after sex.
I was in pain, and I felt worthless, used, and like a slut laying there half naked on the ground, but that's how I felt every time. For some reason, to me that feeling was still worth feeling full and whole for at least a few moments beforehand, while I was being driven into by whoever my playmate was for the night.
I didn't move much, just looked up with my eyes to see if he was even still there...and he was. He was standing there, grinning down at me, telling me how I was 'the best fuck' he'd had in a long time. I wasn't making out everything he was saying -- a bunch of half-insulting compliments I'm sure -- up until the end, anyway.
The horse laughed, "I'll have to tell all of my friends about you..." before just walking off back into the club.
That's just what he did...and that's why that night still sticks in my mind, so well. I can't count the number of times after that, that I was propositioned by others thanks to word of mouth from that horse. It was like I was all that was on anyone's lips: 'The black furred, white maned lion-boy.'
"My friend, the horse who fucked you, told me about you..." or "I heard a rumor about a black furred lion boy...is it true?" or even as simple as, "I've heard about you...care to meet me out back?"
Lions, tigers, bears, other horses, dragons, couples, groups, and nearly every other species under the sun had their way with me after that horse got the word out. I was the talk of the town: the star attraction for anyone who needed a warm place to shove their dick. It made it a lot easier for me to find friends for a night, and it changed me even more.
After a while, it was almost a habit. It stopped being something I wanted to do or felt that I needed to do. Soon enough, it was just who I was: everyone's favorite subby little slut! I guess a part of me still hasn't gotten away from that.
I still thought about Kevin every night, though.
Hell, who am I kidding? I thought about him every morning, all day at school -- when I actually went -- every time I was with one of my nightly playmates, AND every night in bed. He was always on my mind. All I wanted was to see him, to hold him in my arms, and have him be mine, again. So imagine how I must have felt when I woke up one morning, and went down stairs to find him and his uncle standing in our living room.
I ran up to him and he turned to look at me with the biggest smile I'd seen in years, from him or anyone else. Apparently he didn't know why he was back either. We hadn't seen each other in an entire year, and we just sat there, clinging to one another, ignoring his uncle's disapproving grunts behind him. Luckily, Mike and Cheyenne weren't in the room at the moment to stop us, and I guess his uncle just didn't care enough to try.
His room and his clothes that he let me borrow had stopped smelling like him a long time ago, and I just buried my muzzle against him, breathing him in between repeated sobbing whimpers of "I love you" and "I missed you." I just leaned against him, crying and sobbing, as we held onto one another as tight as we could. He was back, he was in my arms, I could feel his breath and his tears on me, and for those few moments I felt like my life meant something again...like I was worth something again.
I didn't think about how I was going to explain the last few months of my life to him, or why he was here, or what Mike & Cheyenne thought about anything. All I thought about was having him there in my arms again. It was one of the happiest moments of my entire life, even if I WAS crying. Everything just melted away and life was good for just that little bit.
"Good!" I heard from behind me, "I didn't have to wake your worthless ass up! Let go of my son!"
Mike stopped us, of course, my mother walking into the room close behind him. In under five minutes they laid it all out to the both of us, standing side by side now that they were there. They were never ones to drag things out, so they got straight to the point.
Kevin was back for good, but I was leaving.
It was only due to circumstances and his schooling that Kevin was gone for a whole year. He was never supposed to stay gone for that long: just long enough for them to take care of things. He was only supposed to be gone in the meantime, to keep us apart while Cheyenne and Mike looked for my dad. I had ruined THEIR son and turned him gay, and I caused them nothing but trouble, so they were getting rid of me. It had been their plan all along. They didn't want me anymore, and they were sending me off: throwing me away like a piece of trash and letting the father I hadn't seen in twelve years -- the father I didn't even remember -- take me if he wanted me.
Mike stood by Kevin, making sure he didn't go anywhere, and my mother told me to hurry up and pack. I could take one bag and that was it: anything else, my father could get for me. The car was already parked out front, and she already had the plane tickets.
Not having any other choice, I packed one duffel bag with the few things I couldn't live without. It was mainly those things I could remember Kevin by -- like the pendant -- and in only a few minutes, I was standing outside our house staring into Kevin's drooping, lost eyes.
Cheyenne stood by the open door to her car, "Come on, Riddick! It's time to go; we're not going to miss the plane and have to buy another two tickets for this!"
I glared back over my shoulder at my mother and then looked back at Kevin, too overtaken by all of this to even cry. I thought I had him back...I thought things were going to change...but I didn't even get a day, "B...bye Kev..."
"Riddick..." Kevin moved forward a few steps only to be held firm by his father's paw on his shoulder, "P-please! At least let me go with them!" He looked back pleadingly at Mike.
Mike just glared down at him and shook his head, "No, Kevin. This is best for everyone."
"How is it best!?" I jerked my head up at my stepfather, yelling in a burst of anger before I could even think about what I was saying, "WHO the fuck is it best FOR!? He can't even fucking well see me off at the airport?"
He glared down at me and barely held back from yelling back. He did of course, but I assume it was only because we were outside where he could be seen, "YOU need to get your act together! And that's not going to happen here!"
"What about me, dad??" Kevin jerked his shoulder away from Mike's paw, "I was there too!"
"NOT as far as I'm concerned!" Mike looked away from Kevin, fixing his eyes on me, "He's just a bad influence."
"Get my ACT together!? You make it sound like I'll be able to come back!" I looked away and clenched my jaw, "You've wanted me gone since my mother married you, you fucking son of a bitch! You only fucking took me from my father to spite him. This-" I jammed my finger into his chest, knowing he wouldn't lay a hand on me where anyone outside could see, "-is just an excuse!!"
Mike sneered and grabbed a hold of Kevin's shoulder again, not saying anything in response.
I just sighed and looked back at Kevin, "I've wanted to see my father for years...but not like this, Angel...not...not like this..." I started to cry, I didn't want to, not in front of Mike and Cheyenne, but I couldn't help it, "I love you, Kevin."
Cheyenne huffed behind me, intent on not letting us even have our parting words, "Riddick, we're running out of time. And stop saying you love him, this isn't love...it's nothing close." As if she's ever had a clue what love was, "Now get over here so we can leave! You're wasting time."
Kevin sniffed slightly, holding back from crying, and mouthed a silent "I love you too" before closing his eyes and hanging his head.
I looked down and took a step back. What else could I do? I turned around and walked toward my mother, stopping and sighing.
Behind me, despite his father's presence, Kevin spoke up, "I'll find you, Kitten." I heard Mike's voice try to say something, but Kevin just yelled louder to drown him out, "I don't know how, but I'll find you! I promise!"
Before I could look back at him, Cheyenne reached out and pulled at my shoulder, "Enough of this, get into the car!"
I heard Kevin's footsteps as he ran back into the house and I pushed my mother's paw off of me and got into the car. I wasn't even able to look back at the house, and I felt like a part of me was being ripped out, leaving Kevin behind.
My entire life up until then might as well have meant nothing. My love, my best friend, my brother, and everything else was gone. It was over. It was the end.
No matter what I wanted.
~
There we go! The soap opera, Forbidden, continues!!
* Starring: F. R. Borealis as Narrator Riddick Riddick Dumar Eden and Cheyenne Crystal Rivers Eden Terrence Cecil B. North as Kevin Michael Terrence and Michael William Terrence *
Cecil was a writer here as well, back in the Yiffstar days. If you want to check out the stuff he wrote back then, go ahead and look him up. His username on here is: Cecil_88
Well, then... Quite the conclusion to the last chapter, huh? I guess that answers just about any question still lingering about Riddick. It explains completely who Kevin is, why he left home, and the origin of all his slutty clubbing experience. The story is over, but the question is what comes next? Remember: we weren't the only ones hearing this story. Luke & Kevin were too. How will Luke react to everything he's learned? How will Kevin feel about what's happened while he & Riddick were apart? And what will Riddick do now? What's to become of him and Luke? Of him and Kevin? Of his life with his father & Matt? Tune in next time to find out in the conclusion of "Guardian Angel"!
Anyway, thanks for reading!
I welcome any feedback! Comment or PM me here, or email me at frostborealis[at]gmail.com
See you for the next 8 chapters of Forbidden! ^.^