Tales of Ishim 1: Home at last
Ishim leaves his crappy life behind... will he find that which he seeks?
Snow. Well... that would figure, since everything else had gone wrong for him today.
The young jackal pulled the stolen blanket tighter around his shoulders as he plodded on. Here he was walking away from a world he didn't want to be kicked around by any longer, walking towards an unknown future. Well... walking might be a bit of an overstatement. When he had started out, he didn't pay any heed to the looming dark clouds shading the horizon, and when the rain started drippy-dropping a bit he looked through the back yards and found someone hadn't taken in their washing yet, so he "borrowed" a blanket from the clothesline to keep himself dry. Now both the blanket and his lioncloth was soaked from the rain that had just turned to a cold wet snow as the jackal trudged on his way away from the bright lights of the big city, however the wet cloth was rapidly making him colder by the minute as the wind started picking up to blow the wet cold snowblobs into his face even more.
All hope seemed to be lost as he trod the dark paved road that led away from his tormentors. Not even a vehicle seemed to pass along that stretch of pavement during his travels, so he had no hope of asking for assistance even if any could be had. He started feeling like nothing would help, but that's when he noticed a light a good ways off the road down a somewhat narrow lane, probably a farm drive. A farm might mean somewhere to sleep that would be at least dry, and maybe something to eat, so he turned off the paved highway down this well-used path. He winced now and again as he walked down the drive, it hurt his pawpads now and again as some of the small sharp quarry stones dug into his pawpads. Wandering along the narrow roadway he eventually came to where he saw the light, he noticed that it wasn't a house as he had thought, but a rather large barn - larger than he figured would be for any regular farm. As he neared, he saw a worn sign in the dim light "FoxPaw Ridge Riding Stables", and underneath a small hand-lettered sign "Horses bought and sold - Stud services available". Well, that would explain just why the barn is so big. He passed the sign, then a small statuette underneath a large tree - visible merely as a lump in the dim light - as he came up to the large door, rolled back slightly forming a vertical slit displaying light from within piercing through the darkness of the night.
Peering through the crack of the door, he saw a nice fireplace, lit and burning brightly, shedding its heat into the large room of the main barn, which was also lit by a few wagon-wheel chandeliers. Not a soul was in sight inside as he rolled the door back enough for him to slip through, then returned it to its former position lest someone notice its change. Quickly and quietly he padded across the floor of well-worn mill-cut boards towards the hearth, kneeling down and soaking in its warmth as the flames crackled and threw their flickering luminescence across the stone hearth and across the large room. He undid the blanket from around himself and let it flop to the floor, his black fur absorbing the radiant warmth as he extended his hands towards the heat, warming and drying them.
"Bet that feels better than outside, huh, pup?" a deep voice boomed through the silent chamber. He whriled around, trying to discern where the voice came from. In the shadows a tall figure rose from one of the seats, the sight of which made the pup almost wet himself as the ten-foot-tall well-muscled stallion strode towards him. The look of terror on the pup's face brought a chuckle and a broad smile from the huge horse. "Silly pup, I'm not about to hurt you... You're welcome here just like anyone else..." the tall figure then noticed the blanket lumped near the hearth. "... Or perhaps even more so." The huge stallion sat down on the nearest couch, just in front of the fireplace. "What's your name, pup?" the large equine inquired.
"...I.... Ishim," the young pup stammered, still standing but trembling.
"How old are you, Ishim?" the equine asked casually, tilting his head a bit.
"I... I'm.... I'm ten. T..t...today's my birthday." the pup managed to voice the words his mind formed but his tongue seemed unwilling to spit out.
The large stallion looked surprised. "Well, happy birthday, Ishim." He tilted his head to the right. "Now for the big question... what brings you out here to my stables, pup?"
"I.... I...." the young jackal swallowed hard. "I need a place to sleep, sir."
The large stallion chuckled softly. "Well, don't you have a home you should go back to?" His smile was soft and tender, comforting and disarming.
The pup's eyes changed and he looked down. "Not really. I.... I ran away. Three days ago."
The stallion's eyes softened, then he couldn't help but chuckle some as the pup's stomach rumbled in askance. "I see. Seems you're hungry, too." He rose to his hooves. First he knelt near the standing pup and touched the blanket, noticing it was more than just damp. He then grabbed the pup's loincloth and squeezed some water from it. "You best get out of that wet thing before you catch cold... here..." he rose again and reached behind the sofa, dragging forth a huge horse blanket. "Wrap yourself up in this and stay before the fire to warm yourself and dry out. Sit on the sofa if you like and I'll be right back with something for you to eat."
The pup stopped shaking for the first time since he saw the stallion, and as the big horse turned to go, he quickly undid the lashing for his loincloth and snuggled himself up in the warm blanket, leaving both his loincloth and the other blanket to dry near the hearth. The large stallion had disappeared and a clanking and noise was heard from behind the high bar towards the back of the room as Ishim scrambled to get up on top of the somewhat-large couch made of hay bales the stallion had been sitting on. The horse blanket was far too large for the pup but he wrapped himself up into it, now looking like a colored lumpy pile of dough on the sofa before the fire. Multi-colored dough with a black muzzle and little black eyes peeking forth from an opening. He inwardly wondered if he should stay or go, but the fire was so warm and inviting he figured it worth his while to stay at least until he was warm.
He turned to see the big stallion coming back with a tray. Two tall glasses of something visible and a platter with... could it be?
"Figured you'd want something to eat so... fixed some bacon cheeseburgers and some fries for us. How does that sound?" The large stallion smiled broadly as he sat down next to the jackal-blanket-blob.
Ishim threw the blanket wide open and nodded energetically. "That sounds very good, mister." He reached out to grab one then quickly drew his hand back. The horse looked at hime confusedly. "Something wrong?" he inquired.
"But... but I don't have any way to pay you, sir. It's not right to take something without paying for it, even though... I've had to." The lad's voice trailed off as he looked to the sodden blanket darkening the wooden floor with its moisture.
The stallion followed the pup's gaze and then smiled at him. "Don't worry about that, pup. The food and drink is freely given." He folds the blanket over the pup's lap and sets one of the platters in front of the youngster.
"Are you sure, mister?" He looks up to the stallion, a french fry in his hand.
"I'm sure, Ishim. Go ahead, eat... food is one thing we have plenty of." He smiles tenderly at the pup as he pours a glop of ketchup onto his plate.
The pup looks up to him, making sure, then digs in to his burger. "Ken I...?" he murphles with his mouth full of his bite of burger, then realizes and swallows his food first. "Can I have some ketchup, too?" He asks.
The big horse nods and passes the bottle over to the pup, smiling as the youngster opens his burger and puts a couple blorts of the red sauce onto the burger, then a couple more onto his plate for the fries. The stallion took a couple bites of his own burger as he watched the young one arranging his plate. "You like it?"
The pup looked up to him and nodnods vigorously. "Yes, sir. Thank you very much."
The stallion chuckled as both munched their meal, the pup scooting over to the stallion's side as he stuffed bite after bite into his small mouth. The big horse himself munched on his burger, interspersed with one or two fries at a time. He set a glass of soda near the pup, and smiled as no sooner had his hand moved away then the youngster guzzled some amidst bites of food.
Soon enough the meal was finished and the big stallion put the plates and glasses back onto the tray on a nearby haybale. The jackal looked toward the door, and the stallion noticed. "Thinking of leaving in this weather?"
The pup turned his head back around to look at the stallion. "I don't really know... I... " his expression sank and he looked towards where his feet were under the blanket.
The big horse smiled tenderly and patted his lap, his bare fur glistening in the firelight. "Comfy seating, no waiting. Snuggle for one?" he smiled at the pup, who looked to the stallion's lap, then face, then lap. He tentatively climbed up onto the big gent's lap. The stallion wrapped the blanket back around the pup and himself as both sat lazily before the fire. "Don't know whether you want to spend the night, now that I know you're here?" the stallion asked. The pup merely nodded as he lay himself against the broad chest, wrapping his arms around the big horse some.
The big horse drew a deep breath, moving the lad as he lays on the broad chest. "Why'd you run away, pup? I'm sure there's someone that would miss you, especially at school."
"I don't go to school," came the muffled response. "All the kids said they didn't want me in their class because I'm not like them. I'm not like anybody."
A broad hand came to rest on the pup's back. "Oh... how do you mean you're different?" the stallion inquired.
"Well, I'm not a dog. I'm not a wolf. I don't look like any of the other kids. I don't even feel like any of the other kids," came the response.
"Well, what about your mom and dad?" The big stallion bent his head to look tenderly at the pup laying close against him.
The pup snorted. "Mom's a wolf, and she says I take after my dad who I guess looked like me. I never knew him 'cuz my mom said he left before I was born. She doesn't like me much because I look like him." The big stallion could hear a bit of sorrow in the pup's voice. The pup sighed.
"There's more to it than that, I'd wager," the big stallion smiled. "Things shouldn't be all that bad."
The pup whined. "Worse. Mom's been drinking again and she threw a bottle at me the other afternoon saying I drove away my latest daddy because he didn't like me."
The stallion frowned deeply. "That's not fair." His expression became more sullen. "So what are you planning to do?"
"I don't know, sir." The answer came muffled against the stallion's broad chest as the pup buried his head in the muscled fur, trying to hide the tears. "Find somewhere I can live and stay and be happy, maybe... or just... not be anywhere near all those people."
"Hm... that's a pretty tall order. Any idea where that might be?" the big stallion asked as his hand pet down the pup's back. He noticed the tail thump a little at the petting.
Against his chest, the pup shook his head. "No, I don't... know...." A thought seemed to dawn on him. He leaned back and looked up at the big stallion. "Can I stay here, mister?"
The stallion smiled. "Oh, now I don't know.... it's not like I should really be taking in runaways..." The stallion's expression tried not to reveal his true intent. "I mean... what if every wanderer wanted to live here for free. I couldn't really afford to feed just everybody that's out there, now could I?"
The pup looked down then looked at the stallion with sad eyes. "I understand. I'll go. Thank you for the food and letting me get warm by the fire." Ishim shifted about to leave, turning a bit on the stallions lap.
Two large hands moved and gripped the pup's hips. "Now wait a moment, I didn't say YOU had to go, now did I?" The face showed a broad smile and the pup looked back, confused.
"But you said...." the pup began to ask before he was cut off.
"I said I didn't know if you could stay, and that I couldn't afford to feed just everybody, and that's true, but... there's no harm in you spending the night here... or.... " the smile broadened on the stallion's face "... or maybe a bit longer than just the night." One big eye winked at the pup, and understanding spread across Ishim's face.... He beamed broadly and hugged the big stallion lovingly.
"Can I....?" The pup started to ask as he again lay against the stallion, but then snapped his jaw shut.
"Can you what, pup?" the big stallion asked, curious.
"I was... I mean..." the pup sighed. "I never knew my dad, and none of the men that mom dates really like me, not enough to... be like you. Can I call you daddy?" The pup leaned back and the look on his face spoke volumes of hope.
The large stallion's face smiled tenderly. "Sure, pup. You can call me daddy if you like."
"Thanks... Daddy," the pup snuggled up against the big stallion's chest and fell into a contented sleep, the stallion's large right hand on his back and tail wagging some as the sandman overtook the sandpup's consciousness.
* * * * * *
"No! No! I'm NOT! I'm NOT! NO!" the pup writhed and thumped his fists against the stallion's chest. "NO! NO!"
"ISHIM! Wake up!" came the deep voice, cutting through the pup's mind to bring him closer to consciousness. The young jackal's eyes flickered behind closed eyelids then his eyes snapped open and they revealed the long face of the huge equine in front of him.
The pup shuddered noticeably. "I.... I...." He looked down in shame, having realized what he must have been doing.
"It's alright, pup. You just had a bad dream." The strong arms cradled the pup to his broad chest once more.
"But I... I hurt you...." The pup said, his face buried in the equine's fur and the wavering of his voice belied the fact he was about to cry.
"No, pup. You didn't hurt me. It takes a lot more to actually hurt me, kiddo. But... what were you fighting against?" the soft, deep voice fell upon the pup's ears.
"It was... one of the other kids back at school before I left. He said I wasn't a dog so I must be a bitch." He snuggled against his new papa. "And he... kind of was right."
The big hand pet down the pup's back, "Well, Ishim, you know... other children can be a bit cruel in their remarks. Though how do you mean he was right."
The pup dug his muzzle even further into the chest muscles of the big horse. "Because.... I was never made a dog. My dad wasn't around to do it and my other dads didn't like me enough..." the pup sobbed into the thick horsehide.
"Now, now... shhhh... it's alright." The stallion pet down the pup's back. "It's not all that bad."
"No...it's worse. They'd also tease me that I smelled like a bitch so I must be one!" Ishim sobbed even more, clinging tight to the tender equine.
"Well, I think I know why they said that... " the papahoss said, petting down the canine's back to comfort the youth.
"Why?" Ishim sobbed.
"I think you're kind of special, pup. Not like the others in more than you being a black jackal." The horse's voice was soft but pleasing.
The pup leaned back and looked hard at the horse, through tear-clouded eyes. "You mean, I'm .... a her... her...."
The stallion nodded. "You might be a hermaphrodite, yes."
The pup fell forward to sob all the more on the big stallion's chest, wetting the hair. "If that's true than even you won't like me now because I'm a....a.... freak."
The stallion couldn't help but whinnylaugh heartily, bouncing the pup about a bit. "Kiddo... do you think I'd reject you for being whatever you are?"
Ishim sniffled and turned his head to speak more clearly. "You mean you... won't hate me if I am?"
The horse's voice was soft and tender. "No, pup. You're clearly a sweet pup needing someplace to be. I wouldn't reject you for being whomever and whatever you are. It would be improper of me to judge you harshly about things over which you have no control."
Ishim sniffled some more. "Really?" he inquired, the incredulous nature of the concept sinking into his young mind.
Aramath nodded. "Really, pup. No kidding." He smiled tenderly as the pup fell forward. "I love you, Daddy."
A large hand once again fell to lay along the pup's back. "Now... what was this about you not being a dog?"
Ishim sniffled again. "We... There's...." The pup seemed at a loss for finding the right words. "No one was there to make me a man like all the bigger boys in the school. All their dads made them men on their 10th birthday, or close to it. Something about.... being... right?"
"You mean a rite of passage, pup?" the big equine asked curiously.
"That's it!" the jackal squeaked out, tail wagging a bit. "That's what it was... right in the passage."
The large equine chuckled heartily as the pup's wording wasn't quite in error. In fact, it was quite correct according to what he knew of some packs' customs, even though the wording wasn't correct for the abstract concept itself. "Did they tell you what all they did, pup?"
Once again, Ishim shook his head as it lay against the big stallion's chest. "No... they just said they went into a special room, or some went to this place downtown, and their dads did something to them that hurt a lot. The bigger boys said they didn't cry and some of the others said they cried a little, then the bigger boys called the other boys wusses. And all of them said I'd cry like a baby or that I'd never survive being... tied up, or something..." Ishim started sniffling and crying a little. "I don't wanna not survive but DO I want to be a dog. More than anything I want to be a grown-up dog like the rest."
The big equine patted the pup's back. "Easy now... don't get yourself all worked up over everything." He sighed, pondering. It wasn't quite right... and some districts had outlawed the practice decades ago, even though it continued on in family groups. Prosecutors rarely made any case about it unless something went horribly wrong, which happened on occasion, especially for Rottweilers, Boxers and Dobermann, because of the tail thing. He sighed as he pondered.
"You.... would you help me?" Ishim leaned back and looked at his new father with a pleading expression. "Please?"
The large equine smiled, "Now's not the time for worrying about those kinds of things, pup. But... we'll see. I don't know if I can, because I'm not a canine like you. But we'll see." His voice spoke volumes in both hesitancy and yet in assuredness that he'd do right by the young jackal. "Come now... rest some more. It's been a long, cold walk from town."
The pup nodded and once again lay down against the chest of his imposing papahoss, yawning. "Thanks Daddy.... I love you," he murmured as once again he closed his eyes to rest.
"I love you too, kiddo. And I'm glad you found my door...... instead of freezing to death in the snow." The voice was soft, tender, loving... and the last thing Ishim really remembered before he fell back asleep, wrapped warmly in the thick horseblanket, laying atop the warmth of his newly-adoptive father, in front of the crackling fire. For the first time in as long as he could remember, this felt like what others described as "home".