FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Copyright 2005, Cole Rhead [email protected] Distribute freely, so long as the text, including this header, is unaltered and never sold. I request that I be contacted just to let me know whenever this is posted somewhere new for distribution. I welcome and invite all comments, criticism, questions, and suggestions. Hate it? Love it? Think I can make it better? Email me and let me know! I don't bite. ;) This is the first story I've written that I consider worth posting. So, the more feedback I get, the more I'll want to write more.

• * * I blinked my eyes, turning my head away as sunlight poured into darkness as the back of the truck was opened. After having a few seconds to adjust to the bright light, I turned my head back to see outside. My handler, an aging black dog with a soft round face smiled softly and offered his hand. "C'mon. We're here. Time for you meet your family, boy." My body was trembling with anticipation. I felt like I'd been waiting for this day my entire life. That was true, in a way. I stood up on my four legs and hesitantly stepped forward, taking his hand. He helped me down onto the pavement and closed up the truck behind me. Relief swept through me with my first look around. We were standing on the end of a cul-de-sac of what looked like a nice suburban neighborhood. The sun was just setting and the light was beautiful. The air smelled good, a mix of freshly cut grass, people, and distant barbeques. It was early summer and this place had a happy, relaxed feel to it. Up the street, I could see a man washing his car and a group of children playing with a ball. The children stopped their game to look over at me, clearly surprised and excited by the sight of a feline. I smiled a little. Maybe things won't be so bad after all. I am a pet, property of the BlackPaw Pet Corporation. The earliest thing I can remember was six weeks ago exactly, just when my training began. I don't know what I was before, but that doesn't matter anymore. My life as of six weeks ago is irrevocably that of a docile, intelligent animal, because attached to the base of my brain is the most sophisticated leash ever conceived. The last six weeks have taught me that I have but one choice in life; I can make the best of it, or I can fight it and accomplish nothing but making my own life miserable. I looked up at my handler when I felt his hand touching my neck. He had been responsible for supervising my training and handling over the past six weeks. He was the one that helped me understand and accept my new life. The old dog was good to me. He truly cared for the pets under his supervision. And now his final responsibility for me is to deliver me to my new home. He smiled to me. "You lucky cat. I wish I lived in a place like this. Follow me." I stepped along after him, keeping at his heel as he walked across the path through the yard and to the house's front door. I sat down and watched as he rang the doorbell. My trembling had stopped, but my heart was still racing with anxiety while I waited to see who would answer the door. A wolf, in his early fifties by the look of it. He smiled and opened the door wide after catching sight of the BlackPaw uniform on my handler. "Hello! I've been waiting for you. Please, please come in," he said, showing us in and closing the door behind us. "I'm so glad you could reschedule on such short notice. My daughter is coming home in just a few hours, and I want his arrival to be a surprise." He looked down at me and smiled broadly. "So here he is after all this time. He looks gorgeous." My handler smiled and nodded. "Yes, he certainly is." He reached down, gently scratching behind one of my ears. "He's the finest I've had. Just as you ordered: Male leopard, twenty-two years old, four and a half feet long, three feet tall at the shoulder, and one hundred seventy pounds after adaptation. He is highly intelligent, ah.." He paused and flipped through a few pages on his clipboard, whistling with surprise when he found what he was looking for. "IQ 165. That's the best I've ever seen." The wolf crouched in front of me to inspect me while my handler talked. He gently pulled open my eyes and carefully looked at them both, then lifted up my lips and inspected my teeth and gums. My handler continued, "as you requested, we withheld the standard neutering and registration tattoo." The wolf lifted one of my forepaws and inspected it carefully, replying, "I wish you didn't have to take his claws." "I'm sorry, sir, but declawing and the four-legged adaptation is required by law. As is the inhibitory implant," he continued. "You ordered a standard implant with no remote features. We can perform almost any alterations you like for the life of your pet, but I'm afraid the inhibitory implant can never be changed." He glanced down at his clipboard a moment. "I also see you ordered the extended warranty, so we will be guaranteeing the health of your pet for up to ten years. Any injury or other health problems will be treated free of charge during--" The wolf waved his hand dismissively and interrupted. "Yes, yes... I know about the laws and I know what I ordered. We don't have long before my daughter gets home, so can we skip to the important part?" He stood up again, apparently satisfied with my health. My handler paused a moment, glanced down at his clipboard, and nodded. "Ah.. yes, as you wish. Based on our interview eight weeks ago, we recommend giving him these commands to begin with." He pulled a sheet of paper from his clipboard and handed it to the wolf. Then he crouched down in front of me and gently took my chin in his hand, holding my face toward him. "Listen," he said, wanting to be very clear on this part. "This man is David Conner. From this moment on, he is your owner. Understand?" I nodded. I knew all about how the command and ownership structure worked. I was owned now by David Conner, but I remained property of the BlackPaw Pet corporation. Command authority fell into three categories. Commands given by an authorized BlackPaw employee took the highest priority, and not even David Conner could tell me to do anything contrary to them. His commands fell into the second category, and must also be obeyed. Commands from anyone else fell into the third category. I would be strongly inclined to obey, but I still had the freedom to refuse. My handler continued while David went over the list of commands. He explained the command structure, then went on with, "The strength of your voice indicates to him the strength of your command. Anything you tell him in a normal speaking voice may be taken as a request, and he is in no way forced to obey you. A stronger voice will take effect in his inhibitory implant, and he must do as he's told. If you give him a command with a very strong voice, he will be completely incapable of doing anything else. "For example, he is trained with an emergency command, 'paralyze.'" He looked at me and demonstrated. "Paralyze." I suddenly felt the energy drain out of my muscles. I folded my ears back. This was not my favorite command. I just managed to lay down, my head hanging heavily. "And paralyze!," my handler repeated, in a very strong voice this time. He gently caught my head in his hand and laid me down on the floor as my body went completely limp. He stroked me reassuringly. "As you see, the first time he simply became extremely lethargic, but he was still able to move if he wanted. Now, he is completely paralyzed. He is completely unable to move, regardless of circumstances, even to avoid something that might hurt him, and even if it conflicts with other commands. As you might imagine, it is not a pleasant experience." "Relax," he commanded, and I was instantly free to move again. I rolled upright, stretched out my body, and sat up again, listening while he continued. "The word 'relax' is used to release him from his last command and let him know that he's free to do as he pleases." He glanced down at his clipboard, then looked back up at David. "Would you like to begin the initial training now?" David nodded. He had already crossed out a few items on the list he was given, and even wrote in a few of his own. He glanced down at the page and quickly re-read the first few lines of the instructions before crouching in front of me again. He gently took my chin in his hand, just as my handler had. "Listen." Beyond my control, my eyes and ears focused on his face. "My daughter is named Samantha Conner. You'll meet her soon. Your primary responsibility is to be her companion and to make her happy. She may give you any command not interfering with my own. Your second responsibility is to keep yourself in excellent health and fitness, and to keep yourself clean and very well-groomed. You have no other responsibilities; you will not be expected to do any work around the house or to earn money. You are forbidden from leaving the property without permission without myself or Sam with you, unless there is a life-threatening emergency. However, you are allowed to go anywhere in the house and on the property you like. You may speak, but only to answer a question." He paused and looked up at my handler as a thought occurred to him. "I just know my daughter is going to want him to sleep in her room. Are you sure that's safe?" "Absolutely, sir. Every one of our pets comes with our safety guarantee and insurance policy. If you can prove that one of our pets has injured you in any way through deliberate action, we will gladly cover all expenses and award you one hundred million dollars for your trouble." He smiled. "Nobody have ever collected on that policy throughout the company's twenty-six year history." He gestured at the page in David's hands. "Don't forget the back of the page, sir. That's the section on rewards and punishments." David turned the page over and quickly read it, frowning slightly at the section on punishments. "Is this really necessary? Why not just tell him to behave how I want, instead of all this pleasure and pain business?" My handler nodded and explained, "We feel so, sir. Many owners have a tendency to give their pets too many constraints that they have to live inside. If you give him too many, he's prone to forgetting one or two at times, experiencing conflicting commands, or simply being left with no free will of his own. Don't forget that these pets are about as intelligent as your or I. Allow him to make decisions for himself, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. We recommend simply laying down some ground rules, and then giving him these reward and punishment commands if you want to influence his behavior." David nodded his agreement, but crossed out several items from the list on the back of the page. He continued reading after double-checking it. "Rewards: Mild pleasure for being touched and looked at. I want you to be somewhat affectionate and proud of your body. Mild pleasure for being around us when we're home. I don't want you spending too much time alone. Moderate pleasure when you believe you have made either myself or Sam happy in some way." He looked at the page once more. "I won't give you any punishment commands, as long as they're not needed." He looked back down into my face. "Do you understand everything I've told you?" I nodded my reply. I wasn't quite comfortable talking yet. He smiled and stroked his hands over my head. "Good boy." I smiled, a pleasant tingle running down my spine with the touch and praise. My handler smiled and shook David's hand after standing up again. "I hope you and your daughter enjoy your new pet. We'll give you a call when it's time for his annual checkup. If you have any problems, our contact information is on the paperwork. Your pet also knows how to reach us. ..oh, and one more thing. Do you have a name for him that I can put on the registration paperwork?" David nodded, turning to look at me when he replied. "Yes. His name is Aiden." David showed me around the house, starting with the upstairs floor. "This is Samantha's room," he said, opening the door to let me get a glimpse inside. He closed the door again after just a few seconds. "I expect she'll welcome you into her room, but you must respect her privacy. It's up to her to give you that permission." He continued, showing me briefly inside the guest bedroom. "Again, if a guest is staying here, he must invite you in before you can come in here." The last room on this floor was David's exercise room, equipped with a treadmill, a variety of free weights, and a couple of machines I could not identify. He showed me in and let me let me take a look around. "I want you to start using this room, but only after I've taught you to use everything properly." He continued on, keeping the pace fairly quick, hoping to be ready for his daughter. He led me downstairs and showed me his master bedroom, letting me go inside and look around. "You're welcome to come in here anytime you like. You may sleep on my bed and use my bathroom when I'm not using them." Outside his bedroom and just off of the entrance into the house was the living room. Two couches and a few comfortable-looking armchairs sat around a coffee table and a television hanging on the wall. "You may use the couches if you like, but I don't want you watching television unless someone else has turned it on." He gestured across the room to a wall lined with bookcases. "You're welcome to read any of my books." He paused a moment, looking down at me. "Can you read?" I nodded. "Good. I got a couple of books I'd like you to get started on." He led me across into the kitchen. The scent of cooking meat and potatoes in the oven was beginning to fill the house. My stomach growled with hunger. David laughed softly at the sound. "We'll have dinner after you've met Sam. Be patient. We'll feed you twice a day. You're not allowed to take any food for yourself unless Sam or I miss one of your meals. I'll show you what you can take later." He spoke in a voice that indicated requests only, but I was careful to pay attention and remember everything he wanted. He led me down into the basement. He let me browse the storage room for a few moments, then showed me out into a large space that Sam used to keep her toys and games. Sam's space had a small television, some games, an assortment of pillows and cushions and blankets, and a scattering of toys. It looked like it was a place where she wouldn't be expected to keep her things tidy, so long as it was reasonably clean. Finally, he showed me into a small room in the corner of the basement. "This room is yours. You can keep your things in here and come when you want some privacy." There was a soft mat with a blanket in the corner, a set of low shelves already stocked with a few books on health and fitness, fur care supplies, bottles of supplements, and pretty much everything else I would need to keep myself groomed and healthy. "We'll leave you alone when you're in here, but I don't want you spending too much time alone. Sleep on the couches or in the bedrooms, and stay nearby when someone is home." He stroked a hand over my head. "Do you have any questions?" I nodded, hesitated a moment, and spoke to him for the first time. "The only strong people scents I noticed in the house were yours and, I assume, your daughter's. Are you two the only people who live here?" David sighed softly and nodded, a touch of pain showing in his face. "Yes. My wife died three months ago, and Samantha is our only child." He knelt in front of me, running his fingers through the fur on my neck. "That's why I got you." He looked over into my face. "Be a good companion for Samantha and I promise you your life will be comfortable and happy." He turned his head away and took a deep breath. He reached over and picked up a couple things from a nearby shelf and handed them to me, changing the subject. "This is a cash card, good for one hundred dollars per month. Buy everything you need to take care of yourself. The rest you can use as you please. This catalog accepts orders from pets. You also have a phone in here. You may only use it to make whatever calls you need to BlackPaw, to order from the catalog, or in an emergency." He glanced at his watch. "Samantha will be home any minute. Come upstairs. I want to surprise her." I put the catalog aside and went upstairs along with David. He walked into the living room and sat down on one of the armchairs, bent over, and reached into a paper bag left there earlier. He took out an enormous red ribbon tied into an intricate gift bow, set it on the back of my neck, and carefully tied the ribbon. "It's Samantha's birthday today." He smiled. "And you're her gift. She's been waiting eight weeks to see you. She's asked almost every day, 'how much longer', 'how much longer'." He finished tying the loose slipknot around my neck. "Is that okay? Not too tight?" I nodded. "Good. She'll be here any moment. Sit down and wait right here. I'm going to turn off the lights. Just stay and look your best." He smiled. "Good boy. I think you're going to be just perfect." His smile widened as I shivered with pleasure at the words of praise. He stood again, stepping out of the room and turning off the lights on the way out, leaving me in darkness to wait. My heart was pounding again. This little girl was, for now, the purpose of my existence. I had no other desires, no aspirations for life, except to serve my part and make this man's daughter happy. Would that be a difficult task? Would she turn her back on this attempt to take her mind off her dead mother? Or would she love me? The other children seemed to be pleased by my very presence.. it seems my kind is a rare and wonderful thing to children here. I snapped to attention at the sound of the front door opening. After half an hour passed, I laid down on the carpet and set my head on my paws. According to a digital clock glowing in the darkness across the room, nearly an hour had passed since David left me in the dark room. I quickly sat up again and straightened out the bow around my neck, leaning over a little to get a glimpse of the arrival. "Hello, Samantha! How was the party?" I could hear a smaller voice, but the words were indistinct from that spot. "Good. We can pick up the presents from their house tomorrow, okay?" I could almost hear him grinning now. "But I've got something that I think you're going to like a lot more than all those presents. Go see what I've got you in the living room." I watched as a little wolf girl stepped down the hall in front of the entrance into the living room. I guessed she was maybe a little more than ten years old. Eyes wide with curiosity, she peered into the darkness, wondering what wonderful surprise awaited her. David came up behind her and flipped the switch for the lights. I smiled, watching the girl freeze for just an instant, her face an expression of stunned joy. "Spotty!" She grinned and ran full sprint right for me, throwing her arms around my neck and knocking me over with her hug. I laughed, gently catching her body with my forepaws as she fell on top of me. She giggled with joy, hugging me tightly. "Thank you, Daddy!" I smiled and hugged her back, softly rubbing my cheek to hers. Every one of the pleasure triggers that David had given me was kicking in at the same time, but it wasn't just those that were making me feel good. I had a wonderful sense of optimism. I could have hardly hoped for a better family to end up with. "His name is Aiden," David said as he crouched beside us. He explained the rules he'd given me to live by, explained the power their words held over me, and reminded her that my care was her responsibility. That care, of course, only consisted of feeding me and taking me out from time to time, since I was allowed to do everything else by myself. Meanwhile, Sam climbed off of me and looked over every inch of my body, filled with curiosity. She moved each of my joints, put her hands on me and felt the way my muscles moved when I moved my body, marveled at the way my fingers naturally folded in to form the pads of my forepaws, looked at my eyes, and asked me questions just to hear me speak, fascinated by every part of me. "How old are you?," she would ask. "Twenty-two." "Do you like our house?" "Very much," I replied with a smile. "How many spots do you have?" I couldn't help but laugh. "I don't know. I've never counted." She smiled and ruffled the fur on top of my head. "Come see my room!" Her father spoke up before she even had a chance to stand. "Don't forget you have school tomorrow, kiddo. I want you in bed in half an hour, okay? And don't forget to brush your teeth." Sam stood up and looked up at her father with a pleading face. "But Daaaadddyyyy... I want to play with Aiden!" "He can stay in your room tonight if you want, but you still have to get your sleep," David replied, voice indicating he would not be convinced otherwise. Sam sighed, but seemed willing to accept as long as I got to sleep in her room. She gently pulled on my neck. "Come upstairs," she said, leading the way. She opened her door for me upstairs, showing me inside. "Daddy said I have to give you permission to come into my room." She smiled as if that were a terribly silly rule. "You can come in here whenever you want." I stepped in slowly, looking around. The room was filled with a mix of several sweet but vaguely pleasant scents, the walls covered in posters and decorations, the floor was a scattering of dirty clothes and toys, and her desk covered in magazines, papers, and her computer. I had no memory to compare against, but it struck me as a fairly typical little girl's room. "Up here, Aiden," Sam said to me, patting the top of her bed with her hand. I jumped up onto the bed and laid down on my side. After sleeping on a thin, slightly foul-smelling mat in a dorm with twenty others like me for as long as I can remember, the soft bed and sweet air felt like heaven. I watched as Sam retrieved a large book and brought it with her as she climbed up onto the bed. She sat down between my fore legs and hind legs, resting her back against my chest. I smiled, gently holding a paw around her. She opened the book, a photo album, and told me the story of her life, one picture at a time. She told me all about her school and her friends, told me about the vacations she had gone on with her family, showed me the awards she received from school, and told me all about her immediate and more distant relatives. I listened with genuine interest. I had already found that I really liked this little girl, and I was excited to take on my job of companion and friend for her. She seemed to appreciate my attention and constantly rewarded me with soft stroking over my head. She mentioned her mother several times while we were flipping through the pages together, but never brought up her death. I didn't ask, though partly because I was still bound by David's command to only speak to answer questions. The way she spoke about her friends caught my attention, too. It seemed like she had a number of casual friends at school, but she didn't seem to be really close to any of them. I didn't see a single picture of one of her friends in this house. Also, the way she described her father suggested to me that while he was a good father, and he was good about being available for his daughter, he sometimes worked very long hours. I understood why he bought me. "Bed time, Samantha," David said, appearing in the doorway. He frowned slightly at the sight of me cuddled in around his daughter. He looked me in the eyes, and said only, "off the bed, Aiden." I nodded, immediately getting up and jumping down off the bed. I could understand a father having some fear for seeing his daughter laying in bed with what he must see as part young man and part wild animal, no matter how harmless I really was. David gestured for me to come with him. "Aiden will come back up in a little while, Samantha. I don't think he's had anything to eat today, and he's probably pretty hungry." He was quite right, but the fact that he didn't ask me suggested he had other reasons for taking me downstairs with him. "Now go brush your teeth and get in bed, kiddo." I followed him downstairs and into the kitchen. I took in a deep breath through my nose, letting the scent of cooking meat and potatoes fill my lungs. I had no memory of ever eating anything besides the dry food and water I was given during my training, but my craving for the meat was growing intense. Imagine my disappointment when David set down the two bowls on the kitchen floor for me, one filled with water, and the other with the same dry food I'd been eating for six weeks. I let out a sigh and sat down in front of the bowls, taking handfuls of the food to eat. He never asked me what I wanted, so I could not say, and I certainly wasn't going to beg for his food. David spoke while he took his dinner out of the oven, a single serving only, and served himself. "Aiden, something occurred to me when I saw you laying with my daughter. BlackPaw normally castrates all the pets that they sell.. I spent quite a bit extra to get you as naturally as I could. I don't believe in all the body modification they do to you cats." He paused a moment, steering himself back on topic. "I'm sure she meant nothing by what she was doing.. but things like that will happen from time. That, and, I suspect she will ask you to sleep on her bed with her." I only looked up at him and tilted my head with confusion as he sat down and took the first bite of his meal. He glanced back at me, blinking with some surprise at the look on my face. "Aiden, surely you know what I'm talking about. It must have been driving you nuts." I shook my head, my expression denying it. He smiled a bit, reaching over and rubbing my head. "Aiden, her tail was rubbing between your legs. How could a male your age possibly not even notice?" "One of the first commands I was given during my training," I explained, "locked away my sexuality. I'm incapable of even becoming aroused. Touch between my legs is no different to me than anywhere else on my body." "Oh," he said. He was clearly relieved that there was truly zero risk of me sleeping with his daughter, but he didn't seem happy about it. "That not very nice for you," he said, his words oddly unsure. "I mean, that's terribly frustrating, isn't it?" I shrugged slightly. "Since you kept me.. intact, I still have male hormones the others don't. I can't get aroused, but I still feel a slight urge. I'm told it will go away with time. And, since I'm unlikely to ever have sex, it's actually saving me from a great deal of frustration." David sighed and frowned. "If I wanted an emotionless robot, I'd have saved myself the money and just bought one." Mild pleasure seemed to radiate from his hands as he stroked over my head and neck. I purred softly. "I'm sorry they did that to you, Aiden. Seems there was little point in keeping them from neutering you, if they were just going to do this instead." He tilted his head slightly at my expression. "Yes?" "You can unlock it," I replied once he allowed me to speak. "They told me my owner may remove that command." I had no eagerness at that moment for him to do so, though. I had no idea what the experience would be like, and I didn't much like the idea of it possibly being so beyond my control that David should fear me being near his daughter. David smiled again, but thought a moment before speaking. "Alright. Tell you what.. consider it unlocked only when you're in your room with the door closed. Just be discreet about anything you do with it, though.. alright?" I just nodded obediently.. this would require investigation later. David smiled and scratched my neck a little. "You're a good cat. Finish your dinner so you can join brush your teeth and join Samantha." I did as I was told, finishing the bowl of food while David ate his dinner and watched me. It satisfied my hunger, but was not much more pleasant than any of the other meals I can remember. David got up and left just as I stepped out and padded downstairs to retrieve the toothbrush from my room. Just a few minutes later and I was back to Sam's room. I cracked open the door and peeked inside, a vertical band of light shining into the room. I saw Sam laying curled up naked on top of her covers, this summer night not requiring anything more than fur to sleep under. I slipped inside and closed the door behind me, the room again almost completely dark. I quietly stepped over and made a clear spot beside her bed to lay down. "Hello, spotty," Sam's voice spoke softly from the bed. "I can't sleep." I smiled softly and leaned my head over the edge of the bed to give her a soft nuzzle. She smiled and gave my head a hug, but didn't seem satisfied. She scooted back to the edge of the bed and patted the spot in front of her. "Come up here." I remembered something that was discussed in one of my training sessions, explaining to us the social norms of the part of the world we were being sold into. As I remembered, this culture considered it rude to be naked in public, but it is generally well-accepted among families or groups of friends in a private place, and didn't have any sexual associations with it in such cases. With that, and the discussion I had with David, I considered it safe to do as she asked. I climbed up onto the bed and laid down in front of her, stretching out my body and relaxing. I smiled as she scooted closer and cuddled in against me. I put a paw around her, giving her a very soft purr to fall asleep by. It did the trick. She was out in less than a minute. I, however, was not so lucky. I laid awake all night, a thousand thoughts turning over in my head, denying me rest. I wondered what I was like before my memory was wiped and I began this life. Did I like children then, too? It's possible my personality was entirely different before. Would I like the man I used to be? I doubted that whatever kind of life I had, I would have submitted to exchanging it for this one willingly, but BlackPaw never attempted to deny that. There was no hope of ever getting it back, as long as I had this implant attached to my brain, and there was no hope of having it removed, so long as me surviving the process was a requirement. Still, at that moment, I really liked my new life. It promised to be simple, easy and happy, with a family that would love me and take care of me. I held Sam in my arms, enjoying the feeling of her body cuddled in against mine, slowly moving as she breathed. I listened to the soft sounds she made as she dreamt, paws twitching slightly against my fur. I was glad there was no clock I could see from that position. If there were, I'd have probably spent the entire night staring at it, watching the minutes tick by. Some time after the sun rose and illuminated Sam's room through her curtains, I watched as the door opened and David peeked in. He opened the door the rest of the way and stepped inside. He was still naked, but his fur had the subtle lines of a recent brushing. He looked me right in the eyes, just as he had the other night before telling me to get off the bed. I folded my ears back, carefully moving back away from Sam to get down. "No, no," he spoke very softly. "Stay there. You're right. You can sleep with her if she wants you to." He stepped closer, putting a hand on her shoulder and waking her with a gentle shake. "Time to get up, Samantha." She just groaned softly and buried her face in my chest fur. "Got to get ready for school, kiddo." I smiled and helped out by leaning in and softly licking over her face and eyes. Sam smiled and wrapped her arms around my neck to give me a tight hug. "Good morning, Aiden." She got up and followed her father out of the room to get ready. I stretched out on my back and relaxed for a few more minutes before getting up to groom myself as well. When I came back upstairs, Sam served me a small bowl of the dry food and a fresh bowl of water to have while she ate her breakfast. After she ate, I accompanied her out to the edge of the property across the front lawn as she started her walk to school. She was as disappointed to leave me as I was to not be able to go with her, but she promised she would be back in the afternoon. I'd have loved to see what her school was like, but I also needed the time away from her to take a nap and better familiarize myself with my new home. I took a few minutes to explore the front and back yards. It looked typical for this neighborhood; a wood fence dividing the properties, well cared-for grass and a small deck at the back of the house. I smiled as I found a large cushion left on the back deck, obviously for me to sunbathe on. Today was too hot for that, though, so I went back inside for my nap. I found David inside sitting on one of the armchairs in the living room. He was still undressed, looking quite comfortable as he worked on a computer on his lap and leisurely ate his breakfast from a plate on the end table beside him. I climbed up onto the couch nearest him and laid down. Sunlight from one of the high windows shone on my body and warmed my fur under the air-conditioned air. It felt wonderful. "Didn't sleep very well last night, Aiden?" I lifted my head to look over at him, replying, "No, not at all." "Was Samantha keeping you up? You don't have to spend the night with her if you can't sleep." I smiled and shook my head. "No, that wasn't it. Even if it were, though, I'd have stayed with her still. She couldn't sleep until I joined her." David smiled. "Good boy." He went back to his work, leaving me alone so I could rest. I lay huddled in the corner of my dim cell, squeezing my eyes shut and trying not to panic, an effort that was growing more difficult by the minute. My wrists, back and ear still hurt and I had a splitting headache, but that was nothing different from the past two days. What was new, however, was my awareness of the sensation of my blood flowing through my body, burning as if it were close to boiling inside me. I hugged my legs against my body, squeezing them closer as hard I could, as if it would keep my blood from boiling over. I took in a deep breath, making the mistake of breathing through my nose and taking in the sickening odor around me. I couldn't help it any more. I threw back my head and let out a scream of agony. I dug my claws into the cold concrete floor, my scream abruptly cut short when I realized two of my claws had broken free. With horror, I watched as I was able to wiggle free and pull out the claws like babies' teeth. I checked the others, and every one of my claws was becoming loose. My joints hurt and my muscles were weak. My own hands were becoming less familiar by the hour. My body was changing, and it was the most terrifying and painful experience I could imagine. I stared at the claws on the floor before me, a bit of bloody flesh still clinging to the bottoms. I picked it up, carefully examining the two inch length of claw. It was well cared for and very sharp. I put the base between two fingers and made a tight fist to grip it, then thrust it at my throat, determined to take my life. Before I could do it, though, I was tackled by two canines in body armor. I struggled and fought them, but they were much too strong for me in my current state. "Aiden! Wake up!" I threw the wolf to the floor and got up onto my paws, snarling fiercely. He hit his head on the corner of the table, leaving behind some blood and sending it and the lamp on top crashing to the floor. I froze, suddenly realizing the wolf was David and I was back inside his home. I folded my ears back in terror and backed away from him, ready to turn and run away. I couldn't believe I had hurt him. "Stop!," he commanded. My muscles froze and I was unable to take another step. I let my body drop to the carpet, still trembling with the horror of the dream and the sight of blood staining David's fur. He got up, ignoring his wound, and came over to me. He put both hands on my body and stroked my head and back, trying to calm me down. "Aiden, just relax. You screamed, and I came to wake you up. This isn't your fault." He continued stroking my fur and giving me soothing words for several minutes before I was able to relax again. "Go into my room, Aiden, and lay down on my bed. Try to relax." I did as I was told, but I was still scared. I never wanted to hurt him. I thought it was impossible for me, anyway. My body still trembled slightly. Oh, god.. what is he going to do? If he calls BlackPaw, they're not even going to bother with a pet that has a potential for violence. They would just put me down and give the Conners a replacement. Maybe he'd even be tempted to collect on BlackPaw's safety guarantee. I looked at my fingers, feeling where my claws had once been. For the first time in my life, it really felt like something was missing. My claws were removed before my memory wipe, so not having them felt perfectly natural. Until now. David came into the room twenty minutes later, his fur cleaned and a fresh bandage on his head. He came over and got on the bed, sitting down beside me. He stroked his hands over my head and neck. "Relax, Aiden. I'm not going to do anything. Don't worry." He sighed, looking down at me. "What could have been so terrible that it would shake you up this badly? Tell me about your dream, Aiden." I told him everything I could remember about it. We discussed it for a while afterwards, but neither of us came to any conclusions. He doubted it could have been a real memory. He thought it was just my mind trying to fill in the memory gap. I wasn't so sure. As it turned out, my nap was only an hour long, but I had no more desire to sleep that day. I could make it to Sam's bedtime, I decided, but just barely. I spent the rest of the day relaxing and better familiarizing myself with my new home. I explored the house thoroughly, peeking into every room, cabinet, box, drawer, nook and cranny I could find. I spent some time locked away in my room, discovering why David thought it so important to grant me some access to my sexuality. Suffice it to say I have always been very grateful that he did. Then, following David's suggestion, I filled his bathtub with the hottest water I could stand and spent the next couple of hours in there, flipping through the catalog and getting a start on the books he gave me. And finally, after I got out and dried myself off, David had me lay beside him on one of the living room couches while he brushed my fur. Aside from the dream, it had been the most relaxing, comfortable day of my life, and David promised me they would only get better. I believed him. I heard the front door open just as David was finishing up with brushing my tail. I was feeling incredibly relaxed, and about ready to let myself fall asleep again when David nudged me. I blinked, opening my eyes and looking up at him. "That's Samantha, Aiden. Go welcome her home!" I yawned, getting up off the couch and shaking out my fur. I had heard the door, but the thought that it might be Sam simply didn't register in my relaxed state. I grinned and silently took the long way around to the front door. I grinned as I spotted Samantha from behind, taking off her bag and dropping it beside the door. I stalked closer. "Dad! I'm home!" I kept behind her as she turned and padded over to the living room. "Aiden? Come here, boy!" Once she was in a clear spot on the carpet in the living room, I let out a chuff to get her attention. After she turned around, I ran straight for her and gave her a playful pounce, carefully knocking her to the ground, and enthusiastically greeted her with licks to her face. Sam let out a small scream as she was pounced, but immediately burst out laughing with my licks. "Hey! No fair!" She grinned and playfully let out the cutest little growl as she tried to wrestle me off from on top of her. I laughed and let her push me off, then climb on top of me and pin me down, but I still made it a challenge for her. Once she had me down, though, she located a few ticklish spots on my body with remarkable efficiency. I previously didn't even know I was ticklish, but in moments she had me squirming on the floor and laughing uncontrollably. After a minute or so, she stopped tickling and gently scratched her claw tips through the fur on my chest and belly. I was still panting for air and giggling a little, but the feel of her clawtips on my skin was just incredible. I was amazed that this little girl could do this. She smiled and gave me a kiss on my cheek. "Hello, Aiden. Did you have a good day?" I smiled and nodded, wrapping my arms around her to give her a warm hug. "Yes.. a very good day." I returned the kiss on her cheek before releasing her. David laughed softly as he walked over to join us. He smiled, ruffling the fur on both of our heads with his hands. "Would you do me a favor, Samantha? I was going to grill us some steaks this evening.." He touched the bandage on his head. "But I fell and hit my head this morning, and I hadn't gone to the store." He gave Samantha a reassuring smile. "I'm just fine.. but could you go to the store and buy a couple of steaks for tonight? You can take Aiden along.. I bet he'd like to go outside with you." Sam got back up to her paws along with me, holding an arm around my neck. "Okay." She watched as he counted out some money to give to her. "Can I have some more to buy some candy?" She smiled sweetly. David just smiled and counted out a little extra before handing her the bills. I walked outside along with Sam and followed her down the sidewalk. She smiled and walked proudly beside me, happy to be seen with such a rare and wonderful thing as me. It was clear by this point that's what I was, as every time I saw someone looking at us, I caught their attention and often provoked a smile. These people knew what I was, but had probably never seen anyone like me. I leaned over, giving Sam a soft nuzzle. She put her arm around my neck and led me out of the neighborhood and up the road. The neighborhood wasn't very large, a community I guessed had maybe three hundred houses not unlike David's home. My home. From outside the neighborhood, it looked like we were at the edge of a small town, surrounded by trees and situated at the foot of a beautiful mountain range. The roads and sidewalk were wide and lightly used, the air clean and fresh. It was a beautiful place. The store wasn't far, and the first large building along our path. Even as we approached the front door, I sniffed at the air as I picked up the complex mix of pleasant scents coming from the building. I licked my lips. I'd have loved to go inside and see all the different kinds of food, but I'm actually glad I couldn't. It would have been an almost painful tease to go in and see all the different foods knowing I couldn't touch anything and that the only thing waiting for me at home was another bowl of the dry food. "Sit here and wait," Sam told me. "The sign on the door says that animals aren't allowed in. Even nice ones like you." And so I did, sitting on the very spot she indicated, right outside the front entrance of the store. I attracted the attention of almost every single person that went in and out of there. Some people paused and looked at me, making comments to others. Many softly patted or stroked my head as they passed. I enjoyed the attention. One old man even stopped to talk to me for a moment. "Why hello, there. Aren't you handsome. What's your name?" I looked up to him. "Aiden." "Pleasure to meet you, Aiden. I haven't had the pleasure of seeing a feline before. May I pet you?" The man looked sweet and gentle, a glint of hidden intelligence in his eyes. The sort of man I would expect would make an especially good grandfather. I smiled. "Yes, please." He chuckled softly, stroking his hand slowly over my head. "What a well mannered creature you are." "Hello, Mr. Gregory!" Samantha, returned from inside the store, skipped around the old man and beside me, purring an arm over my shoulders. The old man smiled. "Well hello, miss Conner." He wrinkled his brow. "Don't tell me this handsome beast is yours." "He is!," Sam beamed proudly. "His name is Aiden and he's really nice and daddy says he's really smart, too. He's a leopard, and we just got him yesterday." She put her arms around my neck and hugged, kissing my head. I laughed softly, returning it with a lick over her cheek. He laughed softly. "He certainly is polite." He leaned in and lowered his voice, as if to share a secret. "Why don't you bring him to class with you sometime? Next Wednesday would good, I think." Sam smiled widely. "Really? Okay!" He smiled. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a bit of shopping to do. I'll see you tomorrow, Samantha." He dipped his head to her, then me. "And you next week, Aiden." He turned and walked inside. "That's my teacher," Sam explained. "He's really nice." She was carrying a paper bag with both arms now. I thought it looked a bit heavy for her, so I reached over and carefully took it from her, holding it in my mouth by the neatly rolled up top. Even through my fingers naturally rested folded in half and had heavily padded backs to form the pads of my forepaws, my hands were just as functional as any of the canines' much less paw-like hands. Still, holding the bag by hand would have meant walking three-legged and holding it near my shoulder level. I was even still able to walk two-legged, as I understand I always had until just a couple of weeks before my memory wipe. For a feline with an adapted body, though, walking on two legs is as awkward as walking on four legs would be for anyone else. So, my mouth was the only option left. Felines produce little saliva, though, so I doubted anyone would mind. "Oh.. thanks." She smiled and walked along with me back down the street, through the neighborhood, and back home. We found David in the kitchen, making preparations for dinner. "Ah, thank you, Samantha." He took the bag from my mouth. "And thank you, Aiden." He started taking out the packages from the bag. "Didn't you buy anything for yourself with the extra money?" He glanced over at Sam, then blinked with surprise as he took a third package from the bag. Sam shook her head. "Nothing for me." She smiled. "But I thought Aiden would like a steak, like us." My jaw dropped slightly. David blinked with surprise, too, looking down at Sam. "Samantha.. we've got that food we bought from BlackPaw for him. It's healthier for him than our food." Sam frowned. "But it doesn't taste very good!" "Samantha, how do you--" He just smirked and shook his head, deciding not to bother with that question. "It's made for cats.. It probably tastes different for him than it does for you." Sam looked up at him with determination. "How do you know? Did you even ask him what he wants?" David opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated. He couldn't fight her argument. He turned his head to me. "Aiden, what do you think?" I smiled widely. "Sam's right. The dry food doesn't taste very good. I would love to eat what you make." David took a deep breath as he thought a moment, then nodded. "Very well. You'll have whatever we're eating from now on. It's your responsibility to make sure you get proper nutrition and to find out what we might have that you can't eat, though. But I don't suppose there's anything wrong with a steak in the meantime. You are a fellow carnivore, after all." I could almost cry. I really, really loved this little girl. She picked up on the only thing I'd really desired since I came into this home and found a way to get it for me. I gave Sam a big hug and a lick over her face, the best nonverbal 'thank you' I could manage. I tortured myself by sitting behind David, watching as he grilled the three steaks on the barbeque on the back deck. I took in breaths through my nose, letting the scent fill my lungs. I waited with all the patience I could manage as he served the three pieces of meat onto plates, carried them to the dining room table, and even waited for Sam to join him before he set my plate down on the floor. David had already cut my steak into manageable bites for me, but it still took effort to maintain some level of manners while I ate. Dinner was bliss. Every one of the eighty-six meals I'd had in this life were the same dry, bland food, scooped into my bowl from fifty pound bags. To have this juicy bit of meat in my mouth, perfectly cooked and so delicious, was the best thing I'd experienced yet. David and Sam, of course, got quite a lot of amusement from the sounds and facial expressions of pleasure I made while I savored each piece. They both laughed and cut off extra pieces from their own steaks after I finished mine, feeding me each bit by hand. After dinner, David told Sam to go up to her room and do her homework, then he went back to working on his computer, sitting on the end of the couch in the living room. Free to do as I pleased, I retrieved one of my books and brought it up to Sam's room, to curl up on her bed and read while she did her homework. I noticed something about the things around her room. Although it looked like they had been in frequent use before I arrived, I hadn't seen her use any or her toys and games at all yet. She only wanted to spend time with me. Fortunately, I was very happy to oblige. Her homework only took her an hour or so. She seemed to be working on writing some kind of short report on her computer, and it looked like she was working pretty quickly. I knew she was a smart girl. Finished, she invited me back downstairs with her. She led me down into the living room and climbed up on the same couch as her father. She cuddled in beside him and turned on the television, but didn't disturb his work any more than that. I got up onto the couch beside her, laying down in the remaining space and setting my head in her lap. I must have fallen asleep within moments, because I have no memory at all of watching the television with her, or anything that evening after setting my head down. Rather than wake me or leave without me at her bedtime, though, it seems Sam insisted her father lay a light blanket over us and let us sleep there for the night. In the morning, I found her cuddled in against my chest, facing me, with her head nestled in under my chin. Three years passed so quickly I could hardly believe it. Almost every day passed in simple, comfortable routine, with just enough going on to keep me always looking forward to something. I went to sleep and woke up almost every day with Sam held gently in my arms. As always, she had a few friends from school, but nobody she was especially close to. She spent the vast majority of her free time with me. I was glad for that, because I loved spending time with her. I loved watching her grow up. I used David' gym every day that Sam was away for at least a few hours. Over time, and with David's guidance, I got myself into excellent shape. I felt stronger and healthier than I ever had, and I became very proud of my body. David started a business with Stephen Brecker, a black wolf and a good friend of David's. Steve was single and didn't have any family nearby, so he visited our home regularly. He was a good man, and I enjoyed his company. Getting the business on it's feet, though, proved to be a very difficult task. For two years, the hours David worked seemed to grow longer and longer. He often went away on two-day business trips, always coming home looking tired and frustrated. He always made time for Sam, though, and did his best to make sure I was happy. I never asked for much, and I was happy to give Sam all the time in the world. He was very glad to have me around. Toward the end of the second year, David started looking stressed out and tired more and more often. I overheard conversations with Steve, in hushed and worried voices, planning for failure. One weekend, though, David and Steve left with bleak looks on their faces and returned two days later happier than I've ever seen them. Their business had finally become a success. After that weekend, David was able to afford the time and money to do a lot more things with his daughter and me. David and Sam took two vacations. The first, a year after I came into the family, David planned on one day's notice. His uncle died and he had to fly out for the funeral, so he decided to take along Sam and make a week-long trip out of it. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to make any arrangements that would allow me to accompany them on such short notice, so I was left in charge of keeping the house for them. The most important thing about that to me was that David made the decision to release me from most of my restrictions, trusting me to respect his wishes but giving me the freedom to do what I thought best. The second vacation, as if to make up to me for the last one, was planned specifically to include me on everything. During the summers, Sam got three months off school. And since David's work was all electronic, he could work almost anywhere just as easily as at home. So, David rented a 30 foot RV and took along Sam, myself and Steve for a two-month road trip ranging over two thousand miles. Those were some of the best days of my life. This was the beginning of my fourth summer in the Conner's home, about three years since I arrived for the first time. That night was the hottest I'd experienced. I was sleeping with Sam on her bed, as always, but it was too hot for us to lay close together as we usually did. I lied curled up at the foot of her bed, only my cheek touching her, softly resting against hers. I napped a bit too long that day, and found myself having trouble sleeping. Still, I was content to rest beside Sam and let my thoughts wander while I listened to her sleep. Infinite patience was one of my favorite side benefits of having virtually nothing to worry about. My ears perked as I caught a sound from downstairs. I yawned and lifted my head, looking toward the door. David sometimes got up late at night and prepared himself a snack when he had trouble sleeping. I was a tad hungry myself, so I decided to go investigate. I slowly stood, hopped off the bed, and stepped outside the room, careful not to disturb Sam. I glanced back just before I closed the door behind me, smiling as I saw her still asleep. I slowly stepped down the stairs, surprised to see all the lights still off. I went around to David's room and peeked inside. He was still asleep. I frowned slightly and turned around. What made the noise, then? I silently moved across the living room and into the kitchen, carefully looking around. Nothing. I sighed and shook my head, deciding my ears had simply been playing tricks on me. I started back to Sam's room. I only made it halfway across the living room. My heart skipped when I heard the wooden back door in the kitchen crunch and splinter as it was forced open. I spun around to look toward the kitchen, my heart racing. For just an instant, I saw an unfamiliar man through the opening to the kitchen as he came in through the broken door. He had a gun. I frowned, turning over my options in my head, then turned and ran into David's room, quietly closing the door behind me. I quickly moved to his side and woke him with a shake. "Shh, quiet." I glanced back at the door. "Someone has broken into the house," I whispered. "He's in the kitchen." I'd been allowed to speak whenever I liked for two years now, but I still very rarely said anything without being asked to. When I spoke to him first, David knew with the first word that it was important. He frowned, but didn't hesitate. "Go, Aiden. Quietly go upstairs and protect Samantha. Don't let him see you." He grabbed his phone and called for help, meanwhile getting up and searching his room for a makeshift weapon. I did as I was told. I slowly opened the door just a crack and peeked out. I didn't see anyone, so I opened it just wide enough and slipped though, closing it behind me. I moved with perfect silence over the carpeted floor, alert for any sign of the intruder. I was tempted to go the kitchen and try to see him, but I couldn't risk him seeing me. My heart jumped. I had been too careful watching for him behind me that I almost walked right into him at the top of the stairs. I backed off and crouched into a shadow, watching as he peeked inside the exercise room. He closed the door again, turning and making his way down the hall. He was headed for Sam's room next. I had to do something. I couldn't let him get to that room. The problem was that every pet with an inhibition implant like myself are completely incapable of deliberately injuring someone. That came above all else, all commands, even to defend someone or to protect myself. The best I could do was restrain the man until someone came and helped me. I bared my teeth, letting out a deep growl as I ran forward and tackled him. He cried out in shock and immediately began to fight me as he was knocked to the ground. He twisted his back and threw his elbow back, landing a solid blow across my face. I let out a yelp of pain, but immediately went back to trying to grab his hands and pin him down. "Goddamn cat!" He growled and struggled to roll over, but I pressed my knee into his back and held him down. I managed to grab one of his wrists and twist it around his back until he cried out in pain. It is an intensely unpleasant experience to deliberately hurt someone, but I could force myself to do it as long as I didn't think I was injuring him. Time seemed to slow down the moment I caught sight of the gun. He reached across his chest and around his neck to point it blindly upwards at me. I was looking down the barrel when I saw the muzzle flash. The blast hurt my ears. My last memory is my head painfully jerking back and the sound of another blast. I laid stretched out on my back on a cold metal table, my ankles and wrists bound by thick leather cuffs attached to the corners. A thick rubber bit had been forced in between my teeth, each end of it fastened to rings on the table on each side of my head with metal clips. My fur had been shaven in several spots, and a monitor probe fastened to my bare skin on each one. "As you can see, the animals are brought in completely unmedicated and must be restrained for the procedure. Sedatives and anesthetics have a tendency to interfere with the bonding process. The process is therefore extremely traumatizing, but of course that's not an issue after the memory wipe." I turned my head as much as the bit would allow me, just managing to catch a glimpse of an older canine in a white lab coat talking to a small group of younger ones, similarly dressed. He stepped closer to me, picking up a tool from a nearby cart. He carefully reached into my mouth and got hold my tongue with it, pulling it out underneath the bit, and then clipping the handle to a ring on the table. "We keep the animal intubated during the procedure, since there is some danger of him choking during the early part of the implantation." I choked and gagged as he began sliding the respirator tube down my throat, but there was nothing I could do to stop him. He reached inside my mouth and pushed the tube into a slot in the bit, to hold it in place. I began to panic when he started the next part. I already knew all about what was going to happen to me, but it was still worse to actually see it. The older man lifted a glass jar from the cart and held it up for the others to see. "The biological inhibition implant. This is one of the most sophisticated genetically engineered intelligent life forms in the world. The implantation used to be a surgical procedure until just a few years ago, but this is much easier, safer, and cheaper." Inside the jar was what looked like some kind of large, frighteningly aggressive bug. He opened the jar and placed the open end against my head, around my right ear. I really panicked now. I chewed on the bit and struggled against my restraints until my muscles hurt. I extended my claws as far as I could, but couldn't reach anything with them. I heard one the monitors frantically beep out an alarm. "Panic attacks at this point are common. We do not stop the procedure unless he is in danger of having a heart attack, since any injuries will be repaired during the adaptation process." He muted the alarm on the monitor. Turning his attention back to me, he pulled out a divider from a slot in the side of the jar, leaving nothing between my ear and the bug. I tried to scream, but couldn't with the tube down my throat. Terror coarsed through me as I felt it climb deep inside my ear, tear through my eardrum, and begin burrowing through my flesh. I struggled so hard that I broke my wrists and tore muscles in my back. Suddenly everything was different. "Shit! He's up! He's panicking!" I opened my eyes, struggling hard against the hands trying to pin my shoulders down against the bed. I still managed to overpower them and get my hands up to the tube running down my throat. I pulled, but I felt a strap pulling around the back of my head. I tried to get my claws around it-- wait, what happened to them? "Aiden!" The word stuck me to the core so hard I instantly froze in shock. It was Sam's voice. Still breathing heavily, I frantically looked around. I was still laying on my back, a respirator tube running down my throat, monitor probes fastened to bare skin, and surrounded by canines in white lab coats. But everything was different. I was laying on a soft hospital bed in a different place, and I was completely unrestrained. As soon as I stopped struggling, the two canines released my shoulders. I tried to pull off the strap around my head, but one of the men in lab coats stopped me, gently pushing my hands away. "Just relax, boy. You're okay." He glanced over across me. "Here's your family.. take a look." He gently pushed my head over to look on my other side. My brain was still feeling drugged and sluggish. I saw David bend over and pick up Sam, setting her down on the bed beside me. She smiled weakly, but looked like she was close to crying. The sight of me, covered in tubes and wires and bandages, couldn't have been pleasant for her. "Aiden.. you're okay." She laid across my chest and held her arms around me, careful not to touch my bandages. I hugged her back, tears rolling down my face. My last instants of consciousness were filled with fear for David and Sam's safety. Not even for a moment did I consider my own. I didn't even care now. I was overjoyed to see them both safe and healthy. David stroked his hand over my cheek. "You're a hero, Aiden. You took three bullets to protect us. The first one grazed your ear and gave you a small notch. The second one you took across the top of your head. It was a miracle it bounced off your skull. The third one you took in the throat. You just came out of surgery a couple hours ago to fix the last two. "That man was connected with three murders from another robbery a week ago in a nearby town. You held him long enough to keep him away from Samantha, and to give me a chance to knock him out." He smiled to me, softly stroking his hand over the parts of my head not bandaged. "Now go back to sleep, Aiden. One more night of rest and we'll go home tomorrow. Pleasant dreams." Pleasant dreams. I don't think I'd had any of those yet. Thankfully, though, it would be some time until I had any more dreams. Before I went to sleep, I noticed a printout of a scan of my head hanging on a nearby wall along with my other charts and documents. I shuddered as I saw the flat white lump attached to the base of my brain, its fine tendrils spread inside my skull like roots. Could the dream possibly have been real? Did that thing climb inside me on it's own while I lay strapped down to a steel table? I left the BlackPaw building with David and Sam the next day. In the morning, the respirator tube and monitors and everything else attached to me were removed, and I was allowed to rest until we were ready to go in the afternoon. Even after getting home, I slept through almost two entire days. I slept on the drive home. I slept stretched out on the couch, nestled among the blankets of Sam's bed, and curled up in my room. For the two days, I hardly moved except to find a new place to sleep or to eat and drink when I was brought something. David grilled me two big steaks and Sam brought me little bowls of ice cream in hopes of soothing my sore throat. For the next couple weeks, Sam insisted on sleeping with her father, still feeling some fear after her experience. She further insisted that I join them, of course. David didn't seem to mind me sharing his bed with them. I suspected he was even glad, not having to sleep alone for a while. I was happy, as always, to do whatever pleased Sam. Sam thought for a few moments, then smiled and glanced back at me again. "Do you ever think about sex?" This was a game we sometimes played with each other. She would ask me a question, and I had to answer truthfully. Then I had the option of stopping, or continuing the game with a question for her, knowing I might then be obligated to answer another. I had the clear advantage since I had virtually no secrets, but every once in a while she came up with a question that would make me stop and think. I smirked. "Yes.. sometimes." The game helped me understand her life better, too. It led us to discuss things neither of us would normally ever bring up. She always smiled as she confided her secrets in me during the game, glad to have someone she could trust absolutely to talk with. She even asked me for advice occasionally, as the least biased person she knew. "Really? Then how come you never.. you know, show it?" She glanced back at me again, eyes flicking over my body for just an instant. I smiled and explained the current situation with that particular inhibition. It had been unchanged since my first day in this home. She grinned and laughed at my reply. "Oh, so that's why you close yourself up in your room for an hour every day." I felt no shame in this discussion, or any other. I had no way of knowing that it should be any different than any of the other many things I spend my day doing. My life was completely open to Sam and her father, and I was quite comfortable with that. Sam was sitting at her desk, doing homework for one of her classes. She must have been having trouble with whatever she was working on. The more frustrated she was with her work, the more she tended to talk with me while working on it. Sam was brilliant when it came to reading and writing. She would devour books in a day or two. Writing for class came effortlessly to her. She'd even won a few awards for her fictional writing. She planned on writing fiction for a living after college. However, she still struggled a bit with the sciences. She always got her work done, and even tended to do rather well, but had to put more effort into it. She was in her last year of school before college, and that would be over in just a few weeks. Her nineteenth birthday was coming up tomorrow. Eight years had passed since I came into the family. I wouldn't trade a single day for anything. While I thought about my question for Sam, I rolled onto my back on her bed and stretched out my body. I smiled as Sam looked back again and watched me. I kept myself healthy and exercised every day, just as David wanted, and I was quite proud of my body. I was even wearing the handsome leather collar she had bought me a year ago. It was the only thing I'd ever worn on my body, and I never took it off. I turned my head back to her after deciding on my question. "Now you know what I do in my room each day... do you do the same?" Sam laughed softly. She got up and stepped over to the edge of the bed to softly rub her hand over my chest. "Of course I do," she replied. The game does not require elaboration, only honestly. In order to get details, you just have to ask more questions. "I'm going to go make myself a snack. Do you want something?" I smiled and purred with pleasure at the touch. "Just a little extra of whatever you have, please." Sam nodded and went downstairs to the kitchen. I looked over at Sam's desk. Suddenly struck with curiosity, I got up, jumped off the bed, and climbed into Sam's chair to see what she was working on. The closest paper was labeled as physics homework. I leaned over the desk and looked at the page of the textbook book she left open. I read a few paragraphs, describing some of the math behind magnetic flux calculations. I looked back at the paper, picked up Sam's pencil, and began to write on a piece of scrap paper. I gasped in shock just a few moments later. I dropped the pencil and leaned back, staring at the paper in front of me. The first clue I'd ever had about my previous life stared right back at me from the paper. I had solved the problem, and shown all the work to prove it. Even as I stared in disbelief, I found myself double-checking my work I picked up the pencil again, my fingers naturally moving around it and holding it in a writing position, although I had no memory of ever holding a pencil or pen before. I looked at the next problem and solved it effortlessly, not even referring to the book for help. I was halfway though the last problem when I startled at the feeling of a hand resting on my shoulder. "Hey there, Aiden. What are you doing?" David leaned over my shoulder so that he could read the paper without his glasses. I could feel his shock at what he was seeing though his hand. "My god. My god." He stood up straight again and looked down at me. "Aiden, did you do this? This isn't Samantha's handwriting." I frowned, folding my ears back against my head as I looked back up at David. Feeling shame was a rare experience for me. The only thing that ever caused it was thinking I had made some terrible failure in my duties. I was experiencing it quite acutely now. All I'd ever really wanted was to be the best pet I could for my family, and now suddenly I was faced with the fact that I was something entirely different. "Yes. I did this. I don't know how." I couldn't have lied even if I wanted to. "What's wrong? This is amazing." David smiled to me. "Maybe we can figure out a little bit about who you used to be." "No." I frowned and shook my head. "I don't ever want to find out who I used to be." I looked up at him. "I can never have that life back, so there's no point in trying. I'm so happy here.. if I knew what I lost to come into your lives, I don't think I could ever be happy with what I have again." I sighed, crumpling up the paper I'd written on and throwing it in the trash. I hung my head low, holding it in my hands. "I'm scared. First the dreams, and now this." David sighed and stroked his hand over my head. "Aiden, we've been over all of this, remember? Those dreams can't possibly be true. We even took a tour of the BlackPaw facility after your last one. I understand they must have been really disturbing to you, but those dreams weren't real." He softly scratched behind my ears. "You must admit this life is better than just managing to survive on the other side of the world. Many of your kind even go though this willingly." I sighed, looking down. "What if I do begin to remember? Then what? If we tell BlackPaw about it, they'll have no choice but to have my memory wiped again. And if we don't, then I have to live knowing why I wasn't one of the ones that volunteered for this. A little over eight years ago, I didn't want this life. I was forced into it." David looked down into my eyes. "They told us to expect some skills to have made it though the memory wipe, but nobody has ever regained any memories. The tendency for your mind to make up stories to explain your past is perfectly normal. You have nothing to worry about, Aiden." He smiled to me. "Bringing you into our lives was one of the best decisions I've ever made. You're not just a pet. You're a part of this family." I already knew everything he was telling me, but it helped to hear it again. David gently lifted my chin with his hand. "I have a new book I'd like to show you. I think you should read it." With his hand lightly touching my neck, he led me downstairs into the living room and told me to lay down on the couch. He left, but I could hear the sound of him talking with Sam in the kitchen for a few minutes. After he returned, he sat down beside me and gave me a small plate of Sam's favorite snack. She cooked small bits of meat in a sweet sauce that forms a crispy shell. After a few minutes to cool, the shell turns solid enough to eat with your fingers, but keeps the meat quite hot. She prepared a large amount of the sauce in advance, so it doesn't take long to prepare a plate of the snack. I smiled and popped a piece into my mouth, settling in close beside David. He took a book from the table and opened it up on his lap. It was a very large book, filled with large pictures among the text. He began to explain, in detail, how our species were set the way they are. Our races shared a very long history. Canines and felines coexisted on this world throughout recorded history, but rarely too close to each other. There were places in the world where neighboring towns and cities were occupied by each race, but it was very rare that they really mixed on any large scale. Throughout the past couple thousand years of recorded history, we mostly tolerated each other fairly well. Those couple thousand years, though, were spotted with dozens of conflicts and wars. Sometimes we fought over territories, sometimes over resources, sometimes politics, and sometimes for no reason historians have been able to determine. These conflicts were usually between cities or neighboring territories, having the end effect of gradually driving our races farther and farther apart to opposite ends of the planet. The more separated our races became from each other, the more unified they became with themselves. Throughout history, thousands of cities and small provincial governments merged into larger regional governments, which merged into continental governments and so on, until the world was largely controlled by just a few superpowers. We managed one hundred years of peace that way, although tensions were clearly growing. The races became divided and isolated from each other, and that isolation led to changes in popular thought. As it became more and more common for people to never even see a member of the other race with their own eyes, each race's images of the other became increasingly distorted. Isolationism only grew stronger as racism thrived. Terrorism started in the disputed border regions. A car bomb in a canine city, then an assassination in a feline capitol city in retaliation. A feline building destroyed in one city, and then a canine transportation tunnel collapsed with explosives, killing everyone inside. And so it escalated, each side's governments demanding from the other that they bring the attacks to a stop, but both just as powerless to do anything about them. On what is now known as the Last Day, two terrible acts of terrorism changed the world forever. The water supply of a canine city was poisoned, killing just over eight thousand people. On the same day, canisters of nerve gas were released into the air from several spots inside a feline city, killing six thousand people in just one hour. The next morning, both sides declared war. That war raged on for seventeen long years, claiming hundreds of millions of lives. Both sides raced to develop more efficient weapons and more sophisticated defenses, developing truly frightening technologies for the war effort. Among those technologies was the first generation of the implant I carry with me now, although it was not known to be used in the war beyond a few isolated cases. The war was ended with a single attack. The canines organized the largest bombing fleet in history, with every plane loaded with bombs designed just for that day. That fleet covered nearly half the surface of the planet, dropping their bombs at regular intervals whether there was anything below or not. Each bomb exploded well above the ground in a puff of white dust that slowly drifted down to the surface. The dust blanketed the feline's half of the planet, infecting virtually every feline in the world with a virus that killed them in just under a week. Of course, the virus was engineered to have no effect on canines. Virtually the entire feline race had been wiped out with a single blow. Due to the near total isolation between the two races and the length and brutality of the war, few even considered the other race to be much more than monsters. The canine world celebrated the end of the war, and now having a truly unified world, disbanded their militaries in full, collectively swearing to a peaceful future. Millions of felines, it turned out, were immune to the virus. The collapse of infrastructure and the wide scattering of the survivors, however, let to the death of their vast majority. The remainder was able to form a number of small cities in the previously unpopulated parts of their hemisphere, but their lives were extremely difficult, just managing to cling to existence. This all happened eighty-seven years ago. As the generation passed, the hatred of the feline race went with it. Still, the two races lived on in almost total isolation from each other. Three feline cities were even beginning to do rather well, but the entire race still numbered under a million. It was twenty-six years ago that BlackPaw announced their business of selling felines as pets. It took five years and a long series of government regulation before people began to accept the idea. At first, we were items of extreme luxury, so incredibly expensive that only the very richest people could consider getting one. We proved to ideal pets; simple, intelligent, and above all controllable. Prices dropped and demand increased steadily. We are now just within the overextended reach of the upper-middle class, such as David, but still a rarity outside of the more wealthy parts of the world. David closed the book and took a slow breath, letting the silence fill the air. He reached over and took the last bit of the meat from my plate and popped it in his mouth, then stroked his hand over my head. I suddenly realized how dark it had gotten. David offered the book to me, and I sat up to take it. I took a deep breath and stared at the cover for long moments. It was a collage of just two pictures. The first was an old, grainy image of tiger in military uniform holding a gun to the head of a dog, the sky above clouded with bombers. The second might have been an advertising picture for BlackPaw, a very beautiful but adapted lioness, wearing only a blue collar and sitting at the heel of a very happy looking black lab child. I looked back up at David. "How can we figure out what skills I still have?" David gathered up all of Sam's school books and his own old textbooks. They covered the living room table in short stacks, covering many more topics than I imagined even existed. I laid down beside him while he took each book, one by one, and flipped though it, asking me questions. It was a frustrating exercise, and only served to establish the breadth of my ignorance. My training didn't cover anything that wouldn't serve to make me a better pet, and in life I never had any interest to seek out other kinds of knowledge. I was deeply fascinated by every facet of David and Sam's lives and I loved to learn skills I thought would please them, but never before David showed me his history book had I had the slightest interest in learning about anything else. It forced me to question who I was, and frankly, I preferred not to think about that. Do I genuinely love my family? Am I truly content to dedicate my life to them with no interest in anything else? Or was I simply made to be that way, to be a more ideal pet? As much as I wanted to believe in the honesty of my feelings, it seemed more likely the latter was the truth. I stretched out on my back on the couch beside David, resting my head in his warm lap. My eyes began to droop as the questions, all meaningless to me, drifted past my ears. I'd long since given up saying "I don't know," letting my silence take its place. "Aiden, wake up." I opened my eyes again, looking up at David. I thought I only closed them for a moment. He smiled, stroking his hand over my chin and throat. "You've been asleep for fifteen minutes." He sighed softly. "I suppose it's pointless to try to test you out of books this way. I'll need to figure out some way to test you more on skills than knowledge. I'm going to head to bed.. goodnight, Aiden." I sat up and he stood, padding off to his bedroom. I yawned and stretched out my body again before getting up and heading up to Sam's bedroom. She had gone to bed over an hour ago. A pair of eyes shined in the darkness as I opened the door to step into Sam's room. She was naked, laying stretched out on her bed, watching me as I came in. She smiled softly. "Couldn't sleep without you, Aiden." It struck me, as it often did lately, just how beautiful she had become over the years. She had transformed over the time I knew her from a little girl into a gorgeous woman. A slim body wrapped in perfect gray fur, blending into a soft white in her face, down her throat, chest, and inside her thighs. Long, elegant muscles defined the shape of her body, the result of just under five years of dedicated study in martial arts. I climbed up onto her bed and she wrapped her arms around me, gently drawing me closer. She gave me a soft kiss on my forehead. "You're my best friend, Aiden.. you know that? You've never been anything short of perfect." She sighed, looking down. "Brandon dumped me today." Brandon was her boyfriend, for almost a year now. I saw him when he came to the house from time to time, but he never spoke to me. He seemed nice, but I honestly hoped the relationship would fail. He wasn't thoughtful enough, he wasn't generous enough, he wasn't loving enough.. he just wasn't what I thought Sam deserved. I tried to tell myself it wasn't jealousy. "I saw it coming, though," she continued. "We just weren't interested in the same things." Sam enjoyed travel, individual sports, studying martial arts, getting outdoors and camping, climbing, hiking, even volunteering at an animal rescue center outside of town. She loved to challenge herself physically and mentally and to experience the natural world. Brandon was a more social person, played on several of the school sports teams, and often talked Sam into going to parties or out dancing. I smiled softly, leaning in and kissing her on the forehead, just as she had done to me. "He didn't deserve you, Sam. Nobody that could ever consider leaving you does." I'd mentioned before that I loved Sam. I meant it, in every sense of the word. I really was in love with her. It was sad to know she would probably never love me the same way, but I was content knowing that she would never let me go. I cared more about her happiness than anything, even if she found happiness with someone else, just as long as I got to be there with her. Sam smiled softly, looking across into my eyes, gazing into them as if peering into my soul. She took a slow, deep breath and softly pressed her lips to mine, giving me a soft kiss. "I'd like you to do me a favor, Aiden," she spoke softly when it broke after just a moment. I tilted my head slightly, still surprised by the intimacy of the gesture. "Anything." "Can we sleep in your room tonight?," she asked. I nodded. "Of course, but it's certainly not as comfortable as here." She smiled. "The basement is a bit cooler. These hot nights have been killing me." Sam ducked through the low door into my room. I usually spent little time in there, but I decorated it with the few personal things I owned. Sam once helped me track down most of my 'brothers' and 'sisters', the other pets from my training, and exchange pictures of them in their new homes. Most of them were pets for wealthy families and individuals, one became a model for a catalog company, and three more worked, one with a search and rescue team, and the other two were not allowed to say. I put those pictures up on the wall. I also put up pictures from every time I'd traveled with David or Sam, all the cross country drives, camping trips and vacations we'd done together. My top shelf was nearly filled with books I had read, and the remaining two shelves nearly filled with the many small items I'd collected through my life. Sam took a few minutes to browse through my things, smiling as many of them evoked pleasant memories. She sat down on my bed, just soft mat, looking down at it and running her hand over the sheets. "Your bed is smaller than I remember. But I haven't been in here since I was little, just before you came." David and Sam respected the privacy of my room, and never once since the day I arrived even stepped inside. Sam laid down and stretched out her body, smiling warmly to me. "Well, aren't you going to join me?" I hesitated. I hadn't even noticed earlier, but it hit me the moment Sam closed the door behind me. The light fragrance hinted in the air, filling my lungs with each breath and mixing into my blood with each beat of my heart. Sam was going into heat. I felt arousal fill my mind and body, and was soon overcome by an intense craving for more of that scent. I folded my ears back, forcing my paws to stay put. I never before understood how one's sexuality could ever overwhelm reason with its intensity, but now I knew. "I.. can't." I took a step back to open the door and seek out relief from these feelings. "Aiden, come here and lay down with me," she instructed me in a firm voice. It was the first command I'd been given in years. Part of me was terrified, but part of me was thrilled. Of course, I had to obey. I slowly stepped closer and laid down, letting her arms embrace me and draw me in against her body. I shivered as her warm breath blew over my muzzle, lips, and nose. It was as if every hair of my body cried out with excitement with the slightest contact from Samantha. She leaned in, softly sliding the tip of her tongue over my lips. I whimpered softly. "Aiden, what's wrong?" My heart raced as she caressed her fingertips over my chest, admiring the shape of my chest and shoulders, a blend of person and animal. "I can't. I can't sleep with you in here tonight, Sam." The muscles in my belly leapt as her fingertips tickled the fur around my navel, as if to try and escape her touch. "Why not?" I held my breath as she softly raked her claws up my side, scratching softly over each rib and tickling in between, sending intense shivers down my spine. "I'm scared.. that I might do something to you," I replied honestly. She smiled, gazing across into my eyes. "Aiden, I want you to do something to me." I folded my ears back. It was becoming almost impossible to continue resisting. "I can't. David would--" "Shush," she interrupted. "Don't even think about him tonight." She kissed my nose. "You're so scared.. so tense. I thought I'd be the one to be scared." She stroked her hands over my head. Her strong, slender fingers sought out each of the pleasant pressure points on my head that she discovered through the years. "I want you to say 'stop', but only if you ever don't like what I'm doing. The moment you aren't enjoying this, stop me. But don't let your worries stop you if deep down, you want this." She slid her arms around my body, gently holding me. She looked up into my face, giving me a chance to stop her. She smiled when I didn't. "Paralyze from the neck down, Aiden. That's to help you not have to worry about what you're doing. Remember what I said about saying 'stop', though." She gently rolled me onto my back, sliding my body over to the center of the bed. I wasn't completely paralyzed due to the weakness of her command- I could still move my body below my neck, but it was difficult. I could do nothing to stop her, because I truly wanted to spend this night with her. I had no idea what she had planned, but I laid my full trust in her. She swung her leg over my body, straddling my waist. She held her hands on my chest, her belly softly rubbing down against mine. She looked down into my eyes, smiling warmly. "Do you want this, Aiden? Tell me truthfully." My mind raced. I was terrified, but at the same time overcome with desire. Long ago, David told me I may only have access to my own sexuality in this room, so that he could consider me safe to sleep with his daughter. Would I be betraying David by circumventing that? I would not be able to bear the thought that I had done that to him. Then again, David gave me that command when Sam was just a little girl and he didn't know me, didn't know if I was capable of loosing control of myself and hurting his daughter. He never told me that I am forbidden from having sex with Samantha. And so my thoughts turned in circles over and over. In the end, I could not have lied even if I wanted to. My implant made that impossible. She asked me if I wanted this, and no amount of reasoning through commands and morality would change that answer. I hesitated, then nodded slightly. "Yes," I replied. I wanted it more than anything. My body ached to have her closer, to smell her fur, to taste her lips. To make love to the one I loved so deeply. My worries were far from over, but I could live with what I was about to do. She slowly lowered her lips to mine, her warm breath again blowing over my muzzle. The tip of her tongue softly touched my mouth, slowly slid over my lips, then lightly touched my teeth. She pressed her lips down against mine and kissed me lovingly, her tongue slipping past my teeth and sliding smoothly over my tongue. Samantha slowly broke the kiss after just a moment, following it immediately with another small one. She looked down at me, smiling warmly at the sight of the smile on my face and in my eyes. "You're going to be the first person I've ever do this with, Aiden." She caressed her hands over my head, fingers softly feeling the scar on my head through my fur, the other hand gently rubbing the small notch in my ear. "Nobody could possibly deserve it more than you." She laid her palms on each side of my chest. I could feel her hands trembling slightly. She rested some of her weight on my ribs as she moved her knees back down my body and in close against my waist, her paws slipping under my spread thighs. Her tail began to tickle my thighs as it swished back and forth with excitement. The hyperawareness of my body seemed to draw inwards, concentrating around my groin. I gasped in shock as Sam's thigh brushed against my ready arousal. I swore that I could feel every single individual hair that tickled over my bare flesh, sending intense tingles up my spine. Then suddenly, something wet and invitingly warm touched the tip of my shaft, the soft lips parting for only my very tip, and hesitated there. Beads of moisture gathered around the point of union and tickled my skin as they excruciatingly slowly rolled down my length. The short, soft fur between her legs brushed around me with every one of the slightest movements of her body. Just as I was going to cry out with agony, I felt the pressure of the union slowly build, gradually overcoming the resistance of taking me inside her. The warm, silky texture of her body slowly slid down around me, enveloping me deeper and deeper. I took ragged, gasping breaths as it all finally overwhelmed me. I shivered, my muscles aching to take relief from this slow, pleasant torture as ancient instincts awoke in me for the first time. I wanted to take hold of her body, I wanted to thrust myself up against her, I wanted to take her quickly. I was glad I could not. Now resting her weight on my body, Samantha held still, giving me time to cool down again. She laughed softly, leaning in and licking over my whiskers. "Breathe, Aiden." Her body gripped me gently, tightening and relaxing slowly and rhythmically. Her hands slowly rubbed over my body, her fingertips exploring the shapes of my muscles, gently tracing the edges of my bones. My body trembled slightly. Since I came into her life, she touched me almost constantly when we were together, she loved to stroke my fur and rub my muscles, but this was different. I felt at that moment like I was allowing her to caress my very soul, bearing myself to her in a way I could never imagine repeating for anyone else. Samantha gazed down into my eyes. Her eyes, her beautiful eyes, almond brown with rays of intense green radiating in from the edges, bright and filled with excitement and curiosity. While I lost myself in their depths for but just a moment, she gently pressed her lips to mine. I tilted my muzzle down to meet hers, opening my mouth slightly as I felt the smooth, slick surface of her canine tongue touch my lips. My heart quivered with excitement as I exchanged it with my rough, dry feline tongue. I slowly slid it over her lips, crossing her tongue and tangling with it for a moment. Emboldened by the broad smile on her face, I slipped it past her lips, over her teeth, and into her mouth. Her tongue gently wrestled with mine as I explored her mouth and vice versa. After a short time, we both gasped and panted for breath when she finally broke the kiss and lifted her mouth away. Samantha slipped her arms under my shoulders to rest her weight on the bed, reaching around with her hands to rub and gently scratch her claws over my head. First I felt her weight slowly lifting off my hips, then the incredible rush of sensation again as her body slid smoothly up around me. A wet coolness replaced the feeling of her warm grip. She drew herself back until once again only my tip remained inside her. Then slowly, she pressed her body back down against mine, exhaling a deep breath through the motion. She built a slow rhythm, her breasts rubbing against my chest with each cycle. She nestled her head in under my chin, warm breath blowing through my fur in time with the movement of her body. I could do nothing but try to relax and enjoy the experience. The break earlier had helped relieve me of feeling so overwhelmed, but still emotion and sensation rushed through my body, blinding me of reason and time. I was glad she had paralyzed me. I don't know if I could have had the same level of self control as her. It felt like an eternity of blissful coexistence, our breath, our heartbeats, our bodies synchronized with each other, joined in body and spirit. My loins ached, and Samantha's soft moan was muffled in the fur on my throat. Her pace built for a few moments to a rapid pace until my body was unable to stay in time with hers. I tilted my head back and bared my teeth, stretching my body through the lethargy of my paralysis. I let out a cry of pleasure and with all the little strength left in my body, I thrust my hips up against the beautiful body on top of me as climax shook through me. I panted for breath as Samantha lifted her hands away from my open mouth. "Relax," she said, releasing me from my paralysis. She smiled, leaning in and giving me a soft kiss. "Quiet, Aiden. Don't want to wake the whole town." She lowered her body on top of mine just as she was, blanketing me with her warm fur. She held her arms around me and set her head down on top of my chest. Her breaths blew softly over my fur, slowing as the gentle rise and fall of my chest and the sound of my heart lulled her toward sleep. "Thank you, Aiden," was the last thing she said before she let sleep take her. I held Samantha in my arms, watching her dream. She smiled even as she slept, her body twitching from time to time with latent sparks of pleasure. I never got tired of all the restless nights when I would just hold her and watch her sleep. I just couldn't get enough of her. That night I came to peace with the fact that she would probably never love me the same way I loved her. I decided it didn't matter, because that love meant I cared for her happiness more than even my own life. Tonight was proof that no matter how she lived her life, she would always confide in me her secrets and her desires, she would always share her life with me. I would not always be the center of her life, but I would always be a part of it. After half an hour or so, my thoughts began to wander, reawakening my arousal. Feeling the gentle swell still inside her, Samantha slowly awakened. I felt the air blow through my fur as she took a deep breath. Her hand rested on my chest and she lifted her head, looking down into my face. She smiled, and without a word we repeated our lovemaking. We made love many times that night. Each time, by some unspoken arrangement, I took a little more control as we both grew more confident in ourselves. The night was a blur of brief naps and bodies rubbing against each other, but to this day, many brief instants of the experience remain burned into my mind. I remember especially vividly the moment after the end of our last session. Samantha laid on her back below me just as the orange glow of sunrise began to pour in through the small window high up on my wall. The colored light threw her body into beautiful relief, highlighting every curve, making her fur seem to glow around her. She just smiled and wrapped her arms around me, gently drawing me down on top of her. "Happy birthday, Sam," I said, softly rubbing my cheek to hers. She just smiled and held me close in arms for a few more minutes. After that, we got up and went upstairs, to be sure to be up before David. Sam took a quick shower to clean away the scent clinging to her fur, a dead giveaway of what we had spent the night doing. She came out wearing a heavy bathrobe over her shoulders, made for drying thick wolf fur when one doesn't want to use the air drier. She left it open, not bothering to tie it around her waist. "Your turn, Aiden. I'll make us some breakfast while you're washing up," she said when she found me laying outside the door. I got in the shower just as she started to prepare our meal. After turning on the water and getting in, I just sat and closed my eyes for a few minutes, letting the hot water run through my fur. My muscles ached and I was exhausted, but I'd never felt so content in my life. I grinned broadly as memories of the night played through my head while I rubbed the shampoo into my fur. I rinsed it out, then reached up above my head to turn off the water. Still smiling, my mind wandered places it normally never went outside of my room. It was frustrating, though, to think back on one of the greatest experiences of my life and be unable to evoke even the slightest taste of the feelings I felt. I stepped out of the shower and over to the drier in the opposite wall, just a vertical line of vents from floor to ceiling for blowing hot air and drying fur. I adjusted the bottom few vents before jumping up on my hind legs, resting my forepaws on the wall for balance while I turned on the high switch. Hot air rushed around my body, drying my underside immediately. I turned around, balancing on my hind paws while it dried my back. Fortunately, my fur is much easier to dry than Sam and David's, and it was ready in less than a minute. I gave myself a quick brushing just to pull free all the loose fur, and then made my way back out to the kitchen. "Just in time, Aiden," Sam said, carrying two plates into the living room just as I found her. She sat down on the end of the couch and waited for me to climb up after her before setting down a plate before me and getting started on hers. I smiled and ate hungrily. I loved Sam's cooking. "Good morning, you two." I was still eating when David stepped in to join us, carrying in the plate that Sam had prepared for him. He softly rubbed my neck and gave Sam a kiss before sitting down in his favorite armchair and getting started on his meal. When David had no plans besides staying home and getting some work down on his own, he often didn't even bother to dress. Today was no exception. Odd how nudity always seemed to catch the attention of some part of my brain, while I'd never worn clothes myself and never thought twice about it. "David," I said, "I'd like to ask you for something." He lifted his head and looked over at me. It was rare that I ever asked him for anything, and it certainly caught his attention. He had never refused my requests before, though. He nodded. "Certainly, Aiden. What do you want?" I hesitated. "I'd like you to unlock my sexuality completely." I bit my tongue, immediately wishing I had said nothing. I tried not to look guilty, though. David blinked in surprise. "Why?" I had spent the past fifteen minutes turning over the same thought in my head, over and over, trying to convince myself of its truth. "I.." I could not lie, but I could not tell him the truth. "I just want to live as little under the control of my implant is possible. I'd rather learn to control myself than have it do it for me." Technically that was the truth, it was just to the wrong question. My implant let me say the words, but it still punished me with a wave of nausea for my dishonesty. I still managed to keep a straight face, though. David narrowed his eyes just slightly as he looked over at me. He looked down, thinking for a moment, then nodded. "I've never said no to you before, Aiden. I see no reason to start now. I trust you." He smiled. "Consider it done." And so it was so. My implant is a rather ingenious thing. It may be a living, intelligent parasite inside me, but it doesn't really understand anything for itself. It's much simpler than that. It just punishes me on different levels of consciousness when I know I've done something wrong and rewards me when I know I've done something right. It doesn't know anything about right or wrong, only when I think I've done something right or wrong. The reward and punishment can be on a subliminal level, effectively forcing me to do something as if it were taking control of my muscles. Or it can be on a conscious level, delivering anything between crippling pain and blissful pleasure. That way the implant could be a very small, simple thing, while it could force me to obey anything as simple or complex as I'm able to understand. The command structure, my inability to lie or injure someone, the discomfort I feel from being dishonest were all given to me as part of my training. Because they were given to me by BlackPaw trainers, nobody but someone with BlackPaw could ever remove them. Of course, I held no hope for that ever happening. David blinked, looking over at Sam. He smirked. "Samantha, why are you grinning? You don't.." Sam laughed. "No, Dad!" She smiled, quickly changing the subject. "I just wanted to let you know that I decided what I'm doing with the next year." Sam had decided a while back that she would be taking a year off before moving up to the next level of her education. The question of what to do with that year, however, remained. David looked at me, then her again suspiciously. He frowned slightly, but let it go. "Oh?," he asked. "I'm going to take all the money I saved and use it to travel through Naden." She leaned forward, picking up a stack of papers she had left on the table and turned it face up, spreading the pages out. I spotted dozens of maps, pages of text and pictures for each region, and grids of budget estimates. David just blinked with surprise. "Naden? You've never been traveling alone, and now you want to spend a year by yourself on a different continent?" He scooped up her papers from the table, flipping through them. Sam frowned defiantly. "Dad, I won't be alone! I'm taking Aiden. I'll have my phone and I'll call you every day. It's safe, Dad.. lots of people my age do this same trip I'm planning. I got most of the itinerary on the bottom from Colin Michelson after he did it last year." David frowned a little and went to the bottom of the stack of papers, finding the itinerary and a detailed map. "Right through the old border region! Samantha, you can't take Aiden there!" She got up and kneeled beside David's chair. "Dad, there haven't been any attacks on felines in seven years." She pointed out marks on the map. "Caneston's mayor has one herself! See, we're only going through mid-sized cities and small towns. Every one of them has a feline-friendly hostel or a campground for tourists. There's a guide chapter for every place this goes through, and for every one of them it says it's safe to take felines. Sam spent the next hour walking David through all the research she had done and answering every question he could think up. He put in an honest effort to find some good reason she shouldn't travel so far away from home without him, but she was prepared for everything he could come up with. In the end, he let out a deep sigh, throwing his hands up in defeat. "It looks like you're planned this pretty thoroughly, Samantha," he said. "Proof, I suppose, that you're responsible enough to make this decision for yourself." He seemed sad to allow Sam to leave home for so long, but there was also a great deal of pride in his face. Of course, Sam had already discussed her plans at length with me, asking me what I'd like for every step of the way and planning accordingly. Most of the happiest times of my life happened while I was out traveling with David and Sam, and I was thrilled by the idea of spending a year out exploring the world with her. I would miss David, of course, but Samantha's plan even took care of that. Four times during the trip, we would pass through a large city with an intercontinental airport, perfect for David to visit and spend a week with us before we moved on. The following two months was very busy time, but in all a good one for all of us. As the end of her school came and passed, Sam spent a lot of time finishing up projects, staying at her school late to help organize and then perform her class' graduation ceremony, and going to her friends' parties to celebrate their graduation. She invited me everywhere she went, and naturally, I always accepted. By that time I was fairly well known inside the community, and virtually nobody was bothered by me being around. I followed her to school and took naps curled up beside her desks. I went to the store with her and helped choose and carry what she bought. I went with her to every party she went to, and I was always rewarded with something to eat and all the attention I could stand. We made love every night. I learned, with no great surprise, that there is nothing in this world I enjoy more than learning to make my Sam feel good. I bought myself books on how to massage her muscles and practiced, much to her enjoyment, every night when she got in bed. I refined my lovemaking with every session, learning to touch and tease her body until I could make her quiver with excitement like I had that first time. She also taught me to please her with my hands and my mouth, when we couldn't risk exchanging incriminating scents. I loved to please her, and I became very good at it. Those months were a busy time for David, too. His company had a couple of major business deals closing, and he put in long hours to make them work. Stephen came over almost every morning, and he and David often worked late into the night. Sometimes Stephen would sleep on our couch and he and David would get right back to work in the morning. They went on many short business trips, rarely longer than three days, but there was hardly a two week period throughout the two months when they didn't go away at least once. David, as always, made some time for Sam and me even at his busiest. We all frequently went out to get lunch together and we always had dinner together. It was nice having him at home when he worked, because he was always there when Sam needed help with something, he often took short breaks with us, and he always invited me to lay beside him and have my fur stroked while he worked. Unlike last time they worked so hard, David and Stephen never seemed stressed out. I understood that if they failed, things would be no worse off then before, but the rewards for success could be great. Over those months, David also began to work out ways to discover what latent skills I carried over from my previous life. Cooking was obvious and easy to test, but the abysmal failure of my first try clearly established I had no skills to speak of in that area. After that, Sam encouraged me to try my hand at writing, but we found nothing that couldn't be explained away by me just speaking the language. After that, the tests became more difficult. We skipped physical activities, because we decided that even if I carried over some skills for those, they would all be for a bipedal body. We skipped history, because anything I might have been familiar with in my previous life would be from too different a historical perspective to be recognizable. We skipped literature, because I probably didn't even speak the same language before. So, we finally decided to start with the only lead we had, my apparent talent with math and physics. David brought me to his old university, just an hour away from home, several times. I met professors of mechanical engineering, computer science, civil engineering, several disciplines of physics, electrical engineering and more, and every test we were able to devise failed to detect any skills beyond what I had already demonstrated. The breakthrough came after we were ready to give up. We still had an appointment with David's old professor of biology, though, so we kept it. Right from the beginning, he was much more enthusiastic than any of the other professors had been. The others seemed to think it was just a waste of their time to do something as pointless as testing a pet for skills it is not supposed to have, but they generally tolerated us and did what David asked. This man, though, had eyes that lit up when he first saw me. "So this is Aiden," he said, grinning a little as he knelt in front of me and stroked his hands over my head and neck. "He's beautiful." He glanced up at David. "Word has been spreading through the campus over the past week.. it seems you've been working your way through every science and engineering department here with Aiden." He briefly examined the scar on my head, but didn't ask. "Aiden, can you speak?" I smiled and nodded. "Of course I can." "How old are you, Aiden?," he asked. "Thirty years. Eight in this life," I replied. He grinned and laughed out loud. "In this life! Not a bad way of putting it, actually." He got back up and sat down in the chair behind his desk, indicating toward a couple more for David and Sam. "I've heard from the other professors, but you tell me what exactly you're trying to accomplish so I'm sure I've got it right. David explained the situation, as he had many times before. While they discussed the problem, I got up and browsed through the lab so that I wouldn't spoil the tests by listening as they worked them out. The professor must have done some important work, because he had a large and well-equipped lab. I passed rows of workbenches and specialized equipment, peered inside glass-faced refrigerators filled with preserved organs, test tubes filled with liquids of varying colors and stacks of Petri dishes. I froze when I saw it, my eyes locking on the thing on the last workbench. It was a partially completed dissection of a preserved feline brain. I slowly stepped closer, thoughts hanging on the back of my mind like words on the tip of my tongue. My eyes automatically divided the brain before me into familiar structures, picking out interesting details and minute abnormalities. "Ah, yes. That's a little side project I'm working on," the professor said, stepping past me. "BlackPaw is considering giving me a small grant if I can work out some of the minor issues they've been having with their implants. Fascinating things, these are." He pulled on a pair of gloves and carefully lifted the brain, turning it over to reveal the small white lump clinging to the bottom. I felt like something took hold of my heart and squeezed it until I stumbled back away from the brain. I knew this. Suddenly, I could picture the finest details of how the thing interacted with the brain, how its tendrils seek out and attach themselves to the different structures, how it understands the feeling of doing something right or wrong and how it pleases or punishes the brain accordingly. I shook, lowering my head and raking my fingers over the back as it to claw my implant out of my body. A wave of revulsion came over me when I suddenly understood exactly what was inside my skull. I wanted to step forward and reach up to rip the thing away from the brain and crush it in my hand. I touched my head, wishing I could reach in and tear mine away, just to get the hideous thing away from me. Memories of that bug crawling inside my ear and tearing through my eardrum played through my mind. I bound over the nearest trash can and promptly emptied the contents of my stomach into it. Sam sat on the floor beside me and wrapped her arms around me, talking to me and comforting me through the panic and revulsion I experienced. She rubbed and scratched my chest, kissed my cheek and held me close to her until I stopped shaking and finally began to relax. The professor brought me a bottle of water and I downed it in one go. It took me an hour to recover to the point where I could calmly talk about it. The professor canceled his meetings for the rest of the day and spent it talking with us, discussing what we had discovered. I had an intimate familiarity with the thing, I only lacked the vocabulary to describe it. Even so, I was able to explain parts of it to the professor, things he said put his own research ahead by weeks. We spent nearly five hours talking. I explained to the professor how the things attached themselves to the brain, the way that they feed for energy and nutrients from the body, and how their tiny intelligence allows them to adapt to any species. They encouraged me to continue, to try and explain everything I knew, if I could. I described the way that they take over the brain's vital functions, like controlling the heart and temperature regulation, and then cripple the brain from being able to do them itself, effectively making them impossible to remove. I continued with theoretical methods for disabling the control functions of the implants, recovering the vital functions of the brain, and ways of preventing their initial bonding with the brain. "Aiden," the professor said, interrupting me as I paused for a moment, "do you realize what this means? You've figured out what you used to be, right? All the things you know, everything you've told me.. you used to study how to kill these things, how to remove them without killing the patient, even how to prevent them from being put in." I remembered once hearing someone mention 'being struck by the cosmic two by four'. I suddenly understood what feeling that phrase was meant to describe. I shook with the shock of it. I looked down, trying to think of any other explanation, anything that could discredit his suggestion. "No, I.." I frowned. I couldn't think of anything else. Now that it had been said out loud, it seemed so obvious. I had decided long ago that I never wanted to know exactly who I was in my previous life, or why I did not volunteer to become a pet when so many others of my kind had. As I explained to David not long ago, I feared that knowing those things, knowing what I had lost to come into this life, would make it hard to ever enjoy living it again. It was foolish to try and learn what skills I retained from my previous life, but David was so fascinated by it, he convinced me of the importance of learning more about myself. Now I had stumbled across that line of terrible knowledge as a result. I almost felt like I was going to be sick again. Not only had I not wanted to be what I had become, I actively fought against it, finding ways to free others of my kind from the control of the implants. I must have hated pets like myself, content, no- pleased to be simple, obedient and submissive. Maybe I just felt sorry for them, ordinary people torn away from their lives to be the servant of the wealthy members of the canine race, our ancient enemies, our destroyers. Painful thoughts came to me constantly as I worked my way through this new perspective of thinking of my life. I turned inward and kept to myself for the first time in my life. I always loved attention before, loved being looked at and touched by anyone who might enjoy doing so, but now the thought revolted me. I was suddenly acutely aware of my nudity, of the meaning of the collar around my neck. I was deeply insulted by the sight of my own body, once an ordinary man not much unlike the canines I lived amongst, now turned into a lowly animal. Fortunately, David and especially Sam seemed to sense how I was feeling and did their best to respect it. I laid in the back seat of the car on the way home. David and Sam went to bed as soon as we arrived. I went down to my room instead of joining Sam, needing to be alone that night. I laid awake, curled on the mat in the corner of my room. I thought over my life, reevaluating every important moment I could remember. I couldn't help but wonder how much of my life was dictated on a subliminal level by my implant. All the things in my life that I loved and enjoyed seemed to trace back to my initial training with David. So came the natural question from that observation; how would I have done things differently, and would I be happier as a result of those changes? I spent the night curled up on my bed, pacing the basement, and laying outside on the grass staring up at the stars. Each time I grew restless before long and moved to a different place. I thought mostly, but I cried a few times, I growled and tore my pillow to shreds in a fit of frustrated rage, and then I cried some more. I am thankful now I no longer had my claws, because of the way I scratched my head with my fingertips each time I thought about the revolting little white lump clinging to my brain, straining to extend claws I no longer had. By the time the sun came up and flooded my room with light, I managed to come to terms with it. My life here was wonderful. I loved David and Sam, and even as I tried, I could not believe those feelings were forced upon me. Even if I was molded to perfectly suit my family, they were very good to me. The simple fact was that regardless of what kind of life I led before, it was gone and I would never have it back again. But this life I could hardly imagine being any happier for me. The only choice left was to accept it, or to hurt myself and the ones I love by rejecting it. The answer seemed obvious. It would not be as easy to go through life knowing a little bit more of the truth, but such is the burden of intelligence. Perhaps that's why we made such ideal pets. The memory wipe seemed to give us all a blissful ignorance, an innocence from being totally unburdened by unhappy thoughts. I wiped off my face, cleaned up the remains of my pillow, and went upstairs to join Sam. She smiled sleepily as I climbed onto the bed beside her. She wrapped her arms around my neck and shoulders as she always did, drawing me closer. She gave me a soft kiss. "Hello, Aiden," she spoke softly, looking across into my eyes. "How are you feeling?" I smiled, kissing her back. "Better." We both closed our eyes and tried to get in a few more hours of sleep. That morning, I awoke to the feeling of Sam's lips pressing against mine. She grinned as she broke the kiss, rubbing her fingers over my head to wake me. "Wake up, Aiden." She kissed me again. "You forgot something last night." Sam was young and had a very healthy appetite for sex, as did I. She hardly ever let a day pass without making love to me at least once, and when we didn't do it at night she invariably woke me the next morning. Accustomed to long naps and relaxing days, I was never bothered by being woken up for even the smallest thing. But this was no small thing. I grinned back to her, getting up to my paws and moving my body over hers, pressing my lips back down against hers in yet another kiss. I knew this morning she would not be interested in foreplay and taking our time at it, she just wanted a few minutes together before she got up and washed up for the day. So I just let out a soft purr as I went right into the familiar motions of making love with her. She grinned, gazing up into my face and holding her hands on my shoulder and waist as our bodies joined and moved together. I closed my eyes, softly rubbing my head under her chin and against her chest, concentrating at my favorite skill. "Samantha, wake up. I forgot to--" I looked over my shoulder to see David standing in the doorway, a look of utter shock on his face. I could feel Sam's body tensing beneath me. We were completely uncovered by the sheets; there was no denying what we were doing. David's face hardened and his eyes narrowed. "Aiden, down to your room, right now!" Of course, I obeyed. I lay curled on the soft mat of my bed in the corner of my room. The waves of nausea I had experienced before for minor dishonesties and innocent accidents were nothing compared to what I experienced then. My head ached and pounded painfully, my stomach turning as if trying to tie itself into knots. I felt horrible. I don't think David intended for me to be punished this way, but I felt terribly guilty for what I had done, and my implant responded to that guilt. I had always got by on the ambiguity of David never actually telling me I should not do such things with his daughter, but suddenly that excuse was pulled out from under me and I was being punished for each and every time I had sex with Sam. The faint sounds of David and Sam arguing upstairs only reinforced my guilt, driving my punishment in deeper. I felt like there was an ice knife piercing through my heart. I could do nothing but suffer through the agony of guilt and wait for David to come release me from it. Hours passed. I heard doors slam and paws stomp across the house. I heard paw steps cross the house again after some time, but I couldn't hear anything more. I guessed they were talking again, but I couldn't be sure. I heard Stephen's car drive up to the house, only to leave again after just a few minutes. I could only guess what was going on, but that did little to reduce my pain. "Oh, god." I hadn't even noticed my door opening. David walked over and knelt beside me, realizing what was happening to me when he saw my body curled up and trembling, the spot on my bed soaked with tears. "Relax, Aiden," David said, stroking his hands over my body. The instant he said the word, the pain dissolved away and I was able to rest at last. "I'm so sorry, boy." He hugged me in his arms, just holding me for a few minutes. "Aiden," David sighed when I took my weight back on my own paws, a pained look on his face. "Listen. I need to tell you something very important." He looked at me, frowning. "I can't keep you as a pet after what you've done. I'm relinquishing my ownership of you, Aiden." Tears rolled down my face. This is what I had been most afraid of, that I would be taken away from this family, that I would never be allowed to see my home or my beloved Samantha again. I decided that if I went back to BlackPaw, I would request another memory wipe. I could not live after loosing her that way. "To who?," I asked, my voice breaking as my throat tightened. David stroked his hands over my head. "To yourself, Aiden." I looked up at him, confused. "It's not fair to control you with your implant. It's not right to own you like a piece of property. You're capable of making your own decisions. From now on, nobody owns you but yourself. Nobody will ever command you to do anything again," he said, looking down into my face. I looked up at him, in complete shock at what he was telling me. He stroked his hands over my head. "You've never been anything short of perfect, Aiden. You made this feel like a real family again after Susanne died. You always made us happy." His ears turned back. "I'm sorry for the way I reacted this morning. I'm not angry.. it was just a shock. Part of it was realizing that Samantha is a grown woman and realizing that you mean so much more to her than a pet." He let out a deep sigh, looking down. "Come on up when you're ready. I'm sure Samantha wants to see you," he said, getting up and leaving me alone again, closing the door behind him. That's how I got my freedom. Well, most of it, at least. BlackPaw still had the last word over me, but they never interfered with pets' lives unless there was a problem, and they trained me with few rules I could not override myself now. So I couldn't injure someone, but I'd only had the desire to do that once before in my life. I no longer had any obligation or even inclination to obey commands given to me. My owner could always tell me to lie without punishment, so my inability to lie on my own effectively disappeared. Even the reward triggers David had given me on my first day in this home disappeared. But even with all these influences on my personality suddenly gone, I couldn't say I ever changed as a result. I still loved to be given attention, to be touched and looked at by almost anyone who took pleasure from doing so. I still loved to make Sam and David happy at every opportunity. And I still loved Sam with all my soul. The date of departure for Sam's and my trip came just one week later. Sam and I were, of course, extremely excited to go. David, however, while happy to see us so excited, wasn't able to hide his sadness that we were going away. I suspected he would be lonely while we were gone, his house totally empty for the first time. Still, he drove us to the airport and saw us off with a smile, best wishes, and a promise to visit us as we planned, in three months. As I write this, I am laying outside our tent, under a large tree on the fringe of the Jaran'al forest. The sun is rising before me over the skyline of the Jaran city in the distance, casting incredible colors into the clouds above. The city is all stone buildings, outdoor markets, masses of people, and not a single car to be found. When Sam wakes, we will walk there and spend the day exploring its beautiful, convoluted streets. Two weeks ago, near the beginning of our journey, Sam bought me this beautiful notebook these words appear in now. She encourages me to write about anything I like, even helping me to revise what I put down and helping me become better at it. I chose to write about my life, to try and make some sense of who I really am. That question had been troubling me ever since we figured out who I once was, and I think this book has helped me understand the answer. I have also found that I really enjoy this writing. I have never done much in my life to exercise my mind, but I hope that will change now. I look forward to making many changes in myself this coming year. With Sam's encouragement, I may continue writing like this forever. In the following section, I will begin to document our journey this year, perhaps filling in details of my past as they come to me. She's even teaching me to draw, so I may begin to illustrate this journal with sketches. Sam is waking. Time to welcome her into this day.