I Wish I Could Quit You
#7 of Hockey Hunk Season 4
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*
"STUUUUDMUFFIN!"
Goodness me.
It was soon apparent that the would-be customers were none other than my very lovely and buxom boss Marge, with the slinky old thing Goggy draped on her arm. The purring cougar was wearing a very summery top, with not too much cleavage but more Spandex, and her leopard beau seemed like quite the artist, with a loud printed scarf around his neck and some rainbow-striped paints that looked like he'd stolen from a boy band with a particularly bad taste. Shopping bags hanging from both of his paws completed the image.
At least he wasn't wearing a beret.
"Hiiiiiiiiiiii!" Crystal cheered at the sight of our infamous boss and her boyfriend, ears flicking and teeth being bared, while I came down from my surprise and smiled more gently.
Marge stepped closer, tugging Goggy alongside, and planted the duo in front of the sales counter.
"Hi, sweetie," I rumbled with my best smile that wasn't of the happyhappy variety, but a more genuine one, and added the appropriate cheerful studmuffin earflicks. "Gordon."
The artsy leopard winked.
"I can be sweetie too," the leopard's voice was tinged with purrs that almost made the glass surface of the service counter vibrate in poetic resonance. "Hello, Crystal."
My tail jumped with surprise at the remarkable reaction from the leopard upon my greeting, but considering the strangeness of today, I barely had the mental energy left for further reactions in my part. Crystal, on the other paw, was eagerly leaning over the counter to be better face to face with the disreputable-looking leopard who was giving her quite the eye.
"Hello, Goggy!" Crystal smiled. "Long time no see!"
Goggy flicked his tail against the counter, probably to gesture with some part of his body, since his paws were occupied with what I presumed to be Marge's shopping, though looking at him, it was possible that the bag from the chemist's could belong to him as well.
"I haven't see you and your friends at the Lefties either!"
Crystal nickered.
"Those bitches are too busy soaking in the sun with their boyfriends to have a proper girl's night out," she made a face. "It's pathetic."
"So how about a beer and a burger to cope with that?" Goggy winked and purred. "We've got great new cheddar we put in our cheeseburgers and the frat boys are wolfing them down. So if you come, you'll find us packed with half of the football team!"
The mare snorted.
"Half of the sorority house is going out with the football team and that's part of the problem," she muttered. "I want myself a cute, quiet boy who doesn't kiss his own biceps goodnight!"
Marge exploded in almost uncontrollable giggles that made her Spandexed chest wobble like a bowl of Jell-O, a surprisingly hypnotic sight, I had to admit, as I watched and let my ears flicker with the sounds, and I couldn't help but join in, either. Good one for Crystal. Excellent, in fact. Goggy was laughing too, a slightly wheezing snicker that was unmistakably feline sound. In comparison, Crystal's voice was booming.
Laughter felt good, and once it subsided, all three of us who were of feline persuasion were still purring out. That felt good as well.
"How're you doing, Rory?" Marge questioned me now, eyes upon my very lionessence. "Has everything been going alright with you?"
"Sure," I smiled amiably. "Everyone's been a big help, and this chair is just great. I don't have to move a muscle and I'm good!"
"Oh that's great," Marge rumbled, "I was a bit worried, since I wasn't here to see you in."
I waved my paw.
"Everything's been going well," I said, "no trouble at all."
"Have you had any trouble moving about?"
I picked up one of my crutches and gave it a quick show before I put it back to its place, leaning on the side of the counter.
"Well I still got these but I manage," I said. "I didn't fall down the stairs."
Marge chuckled.
"Well we talked about calling Mr. Albrecht about installing a chair lift but..."
I'm sure my face was something to behold, the expression I got from hearing that cheeky remark, and Marge seemed to be most amused, as was the leopard still clinging to her arm like the surprise gentleman he was.
"Hahah," I rumbled sarcastically, to get the message through that I had gotten the message.
They loved me. I loved them.
"How was the dentist?" Crystal asked curiously.
Marge flashed her a smile without a hitch.
"Oh, I was lucky," she rumbled, "Open wide and say "aaaah", and I was in and out in about twenty minutes...so it was like Friday night at home with me and Goggy!"
She elbowed the leopard, who smiled and purred and kissed her behind one of her flicky ears, which caused a veritable chain reaction of purrs and chuckles and lovey-dovey PDA behavior that lingered on for a moment before they probably realized where they were, and detached from each other's muzzles.
"And I guess you then went shopping," I pointed at the numerous bags.
"A girl has her little needs," Marge replied coyly. "And since it just happened that Goggy is having the evening shift today..."
"Call me the pack mule," Goggy shuffled his bags.
"You're a sweetheart," Marge declared and gave the leopard's cheek a peck. "Hmmm...and smell so nice..."
I almost blushed at the tone once again, but Goggy simply chuffed and then, oddly enough, stuck out his tongue from his muzzle, and showed a well-chewed piece of gum on top of it. It disappeared into his maw with a slurp, and left the two of us behind the counter looking quite puzzled.
"T plus three days on Nicorette," the leopard rumbled. "Mage made me quit."
"I sure as hell did," the cougar replied, paw patting the thin leopard's side, and winked.
Whether that wink was directed at me or Goggy or all of us general, I wasn't sure, but I could definitely understand why she would have gone to such lengths to make the leopard stop smoking. Pregnant woman in the house, and all...but that was of course my private knowledge, and as far as I knew, it was to remain so as well, and I had to stick to that understanding of trust that existed between us.
"Ohhhh..." Crystal exclaimed.
"Well, peer pressure tends to work like a charm..." I mused dryly.
"Or the pressure of telling him that I'll quit doing some things too, if he doesn't quit," Marge remarked.
The chewey-chewey leopard pouted.
"And that too."
"But good for you!" Crystal declared. "It's not very nice."
"Well it has ruined my bad boy looks but..." the leopard rumbled, "guess I'll have to do without."
"You're still bad enough for me," Marge grinned, flapping her tail against the leopard's backside.
Well, wasn't that just a big load of awww right there? It probably would have escalated into another snuggling session, if it wasn't for the noisy steps coming from my left, which could only mean one thing. I dared myself to look, and saw that Alex was coming down the aisle, a pile of Twilight paperbacks in his arms. His tail swished and sounded like a warning signal, and I knew enough to brace for it.
"Oh, Marge!" the Lab declared as he approached. "Goggy!"
"Alex," the cougar replied, while the leopard simply rumbled.
"Is everything fine with you, Marge?" the Lab continued. "Was the appointment very traumatic? I know this one dentist who works with hypnosis and it's so great, I know many furs who are absolutely terrified of going to see the dentist, but this one's just marvelous! You barely remember you were there...well until you check your wallet, of course, it's not the cheapest one around."
Marge flashed him a pearly smile.
"No PTSD yet, thank you, Alex," the cougar said.
"You know, I use aloe vera toothpicks after every meal, and I haven't had a single cavity in years!" the Lab exploded. "And my breath smells wonderful!"
"I can tell," Marge sniffled. "Maybe Goggy would like to try some...he' s got a bit of an oral fixation going on since he quit smoking. "
Alex's eyes lit up in a very dangerous way, and my eyes immediately jumped to the leopard who was now on the line of sight. His jaws stopped their chewing and he gave a nonchalant look at the relative stranger the Lab, whose eager gaze would not be swayed.
"I'm doing okay," the leopard said, though I'm not sure if I was 100% convinced. "I've got the gum and the patch."
"Ohhhhhhh," Alex ooooooooh'd. "Well that's good, because nothing else helps. Are you badly withdrawn?"
"I'm making sure he's not," Marge cut in, "And I've threatened Goggy with a cavity search if he tries to smuggle any cigarettes back home."
"And she has a conspiracy with my boss at the Lefties going on, too," Goggy rumbled, ears drooping miserably.
"Well that's good!" Alex grinned eagerly. "As long as you remember to cut down on carbs now, because everyone gains weight after quitting, and you look like you might be up for twenty pounds more if you're not careful!"
Marge giggled and patted the leopard's belly.
"I wouldn't mind having something to grab onto..."
The leopard purred at the touch, but his eyes made a beeline for the clock.
"I think I should be slowly getting to work now, though," Goggy said, "have to start the stockpot and all that stuff."
Marge extracted herself from the leopard's side and extended her paws.
"Let me take the bags, it'll be easier for me to take them home after I'm done here," she said expectantly.
They exchanged the bags, a kiss, and a smile, and then Goggy turned to leave.
"Nice seeing you all" he rumbled, sending a cinnamon-flavored whiff of air in our direction.
"Really nice!" Crystal beamed.
"Heh," I happyhappied.
"Keep up the good fight!" Alex chirped.
The leopard gave us one final look before he stalked in the direction of the door, shoulders slumped and paws stuffed into his pockets. His tail wasn't swinging very cheerfully as he stepped out to the street.
"Awwww," Marge breathed out.
"He's so cute!" Crystal swooned.
"Keep your paws off him, he's mine," Marge replied with a good-humored rumble.
Crystal lifted hers up in surrender and flapped her tail.
"Heheheh," she laughed.
"So glad to see you, Marge," Alex said, "We're being overloaded with these Breaking Dawn books, seems that Mr. Albrecht has started stocking up well in advance before the movie comes out!"
Marge gave a look at the pile of books on the Lab's lap and rubbed her chin curiously.
"Well, how many copies do we have?"
"About a hundred," Alex replied. "I was going to put these to the PARANORMAL ROMANCE section, and spread it out a bit. Might have to take an extra shelf from NOSTALGIC BIOGRAPHIES to fit all these in."
"Can't we just store them?"
"The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo tie-in paperbacks are so numerous that they're practically falling off the shelves," Alex replied dead-pan. "We might be soon breaking fire regulations."
Marge snuffled.
"Well, just put the boxes somewhere, okay?"
"I'll do my best!" Alex declared before he careered off into the shop floor.
Marge watched his swinging ass for a moment before turning to face me again.
"Are you sure you're all fine here?" she asked me.
"Of course," I replied with a smile. "Alex even brought me water."
I gestured at the bottle and Marge chuckled openly, her bags rustling once more.
"Well that's so very nice of him."
"Quite," I nodded.
"So everything's alright here?" Marge demanded again. "Has it been busy?"
"Not too busy, but we've been selling alright," Crystal piped in. "Seems to be picking up."
"It tends to do at this hour," the boss said. "Are you okay staying until four, Rory, or do you want to an early out?"
"I'm perfectly fine," I replied. "Won't be bailing out on you."
"Well, woo for me!" Marge purred. "I'll be enjoying my studmuffin for a little bit longer before Mason comes in."
Or more like come out, I thought, hysterically, and kept my brave face.
"Yeah," I smiled. "We're fully manned!"
"I better get these downstairs then," Marge continued.
She was just about out of visual range when my phone began to ring, with comic timing, it seemed.
*
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