Doggie Do's and Doggie Dont's. Chapter One.
Doggie Do's and Doggie Donts Chapter one By Roofles
"Did you put your underwear in my laundry?" Tom inquired holding up a pair of briefs that were clearly too large for his own personal use. The man looked the dog in front of him in the eye even if he had to stare upwards at the large mutt.
"How do you know it's mine?" The saint bernard crossed his arms and frowned down at him. Axon was a good foot and a half taller than the man. With broad shoulders, a thick neck and mangy fur that covered his whole body to boot. Thick fur; white with dark and light brown markings on his paws and across one shoulder; both sides of his face had the classic dark brown markings like stripes with a white line down the middle that formed a sort of mask all saint bernard seemed to have. His face was drooping and he always looked as if he had just dropped his icecream cone onto the ground. A sad but almost commical expression of disappointment.
"Your the only man I know that would wear T-bone steak pattern underwear." Tom said holding the garment with a single finger inside the waist band. He shoved it into his face making the dog snort and pull away. "They. Are. Your. Briefs!" Tom groaned, rolling his eyes but pulled them away. His eyes lingered on the underwear before tossing them to the side quickly as if just now realizing he was holding another man's under roos.
"How would you like it if I shoved used briefs in your face." The dog growled back grabbing the discarded briefs and shoving them into the man's face. Tom frowned as the garments draped across his face, still smelling of laundry detergent and the extra pine scent of his own special blend he added into every load he did. His eyes adjusted and with cross eyes looked at it the garment spread eagle across his face. A rather large stain was on the front of it although mostly washed away. Either way Tom screamed and threw the briefs down to the ground, somehow feeling glad that at least it was only the front of them.
The dog's eyebrow rose as his eyes drifted down towards the piece of cloth. He bent down and picked it up with two fingers as if they were a pair of tongs and it was a deadly cobra about to strike either of them. He held it away as far as he could as he turned it back and forth to inspect it for something so frightful that it had scared the man. Tom didn't seem to mind being hit in the face with the briefs but the delay reaction piqued his interest.
Axon finally spotted the stain and a grin betrayed him as he stood back up. "That's from just a mayo stain."
"Whatever people are calling it these days." Tom shook his head and turned away from the half naked dog.
Axon always had the same time of the week that he did his laundry. It always seemed to conflict with Tom's however. And the saint bernard always did it in the same T-bone briefs that barely hid anything. The meat had been gnawed off of each steak only leaving the bones left. Tom always found this kind of ironic. Not to say in the least he was staring at the dog's ass when the saint bernard bent over to load his laundry in.
"See watch." Axon brought the briefs up to his muzzle and stuck his tongue out. He dapped the spot with the flat, broad soggy tongue and pulled away. "Would I do that if it wasn't mayo?"
"I thought you said they weren't your briefs." Tom said placing a hand on his hip and looking at him. "And how do you know I didn't make that spot then? If they weren't your briefs..." he finished rathe clumsily not really seeing where he was going with that one.
Axon eyes widened a bit before narrowing suspiciously at him. He touched it again with his broad tongue that was still drooping from the corner of his mzuzle and smacked his lips. "Defiantly...laundry detergent." He said nodding his large head and Tom just rolled his eyes as a smile crossed his face an he went back to finishing his laundry. Axon tail wagged a single time as he caught it.
The large dog turned away and pumped his fist in success before turning back towards the man trying his best to look innocent so as to make sure Tom didn't supsect anything. He had an art of seducing. Spend several weeks staring from a distance, finally working his courage up to say a simple hello and spend the next two months doing laundry at the same time (every Wendsday night and sometimes Saturday morning). And from there slowly work his way down the washers until he was using the one right next to Tom's. From there little things began. Such as borrowing the soap or asking for a quater. And only nearly half a year (plus) was here now engaging him in a full conversation, of sorts.
The silence had returned as Tom took a seat as the next load began to run. It wasn't wise to leave your cloths unattended for long. Tom found it easier just to take a seat and sift through the dozen of spam he had accumalated for the past several days on his phone; the morning paper was tucked under his arm as well. Something he enjoyed doing. He'd never read the news otherwise.
If he took his sweet time sifting through all the crap on his phone and read every page in the paper time would pass by before he knew it. And as such he paid little mind to the dog shifting his bulky weight in front of him from one bare paw to the next. Tom never bothered asking why the dog did his laundry in the under roos. Or at least why the dog hadn't at least worn a coat and sandals down the flight of stairs and across the parking lot to where the laundry mat was.
Axon leaned against one of the washers but when it creaked and protest against him he quickly stood back up. He laughed nervously hoping he hadn't been seen and was both relieved and disappointed that Tom had turned his attention to the device in his hand.
The dog walked over and stopped in front of the chair next to his. Contemplating rather or not if it was a good idea to take a seat. As shy as he was (and had been) it wasn't a suprise he was about to chicken out. That was until a rather large moth flew by his ear making him yelp and wave his arms violently as he cowered against the wall away from it.
Tom looked at the dog pulling his eyes away from the bright screen in front of them. "The hell are you doing?" He asked looking at the startled dog. A soft smile passed the mans face at the dogs antics. And a laugh escaped him at the look the dog gave him.
"A moth almost ate my face." Axon said with a soft whine bending down a bit as he stared up and around trying to find the small devil that had kamikazied his face.
"That's nice." Tom said turning back to his phone. And an awkward silence ensued. Tom looked over every now at the dog and that soft smile was on it. And every time he looked over the dog would wag his tail.
"So..." Axon began fiddling his thumbs after taking a gruff seat neat to him. "Have you ever done doggie style?"
"Yup. Have you?" Tom answered not even missing a beat. It wasn't the first time a dog had asked him. That was his own fault for going into collars and chains, a mainly dog bar downtown. He had only dropped in to use the restroom.
Axon didn't even answer him but looked at Tom with a frown and a glare. But as their eyes met the dog's ears fell back and he physically took a step away, twiddling his thumbs nervously. In the end he took a seat right next to him. He couldn't feel him but Axon was sure Tom could feel the fur brushing up against his side. "Accidentally" of course so the dog would have some excuse if the man was bothered by it. He didn't bring it up.
An with it another long minute of silence fell onto the two like a wet blanket. It seemed to drag on. And on. And on. Only for the bell of the door, caused by the wind, disturbed just how 'loud' it had become. Meanwhile the turmoil of confusion within the saint bernard's head was about to burst with something to do or say or anything to break this ungodly overpowering sound of nothingness that seemed to have increased the very gravity of the room itself. He swore he was nearly fifty pounds heavier and if he stood he'd end up fall to all floors pitifully and...he wasn't sure why he was thinking of that at this very moment.
Tom, caught by the noise of the bell, looked over past the dog to see if someone had come in. Not even really paying attention to the fidgeting dog who was on a verge of a nervous breakdown. Axon, who misread the gesture, turned the other way. His lips forming into a sloppy kiss as he closed his eyes and faced him awaiting the, obvious, misreaded return of said kiss. The silence that followed would put the one before to shame.
"What...are you doing?" Tom asked eyeing the dog that's muzzle was only a few inches away from his own lips. Although the man hadn't moved since the attempted kiss of his lips. Axon missed the silence.
"So not trying to kiss you if that makes this any less awkward." Axon mumbled unsure if it was safe to move away or if it would be better to just stand his ground and find some unreasonable excuse for the action he had just tried to take.
"Heh, ok then." Tom said sitting back and turning towards his phone.
The man didn't move away or slap him. Yell or curse or do...anything and that only confused the dog further. Axon bit his thumb trying to mull things over. To fit the pieces of the puzzel together and to see rather or not if Tom could possibly except his advances or him.
Doubt began to sink in then.
A saint bernard wasn't a popular dog. They were big and sad faced. Bulky with too much fur. And they shed like no other during the summer. He wasn't a sports car like some other dog breeds were. He was more like an...SUV. A good trust worthy, reliable thing that got you from point A to point B but wasn't about to help you get laid anytime soon.
The dog was lost in his own self pity to notice Tom had gotten up to head over and check the laundry. "Oh," he called over to him making Axon's ears jump up. "This is your laundry. Do you want me to switch it over for you?"
"S-sure go ahead," Axon shrugged not really sure what else to say.
Tom tucked his phone into his pocket and began switching the loads. Pulling out several different baggy cloths. The man could only figure that it would be the easiest way not to mess up ones fur. Not being covered in the stuff however he could only guess thats why the dog wore them. He folded each article and seperated them as need be on top of the dryer before moving the wet cloths over to it.
The whole time Axon watched him with a fixation and a toothy grin enjoying the show as he bent over to fish up that one sock that always remained behind in the dryer. Changing the washer had never looked so sexy he thought; half hoping that the show he was getting was on purpose. And at the end Tom stripped off the shirt he was wearing and dropped it in with the rest of his load.
"I washed your nasty boxers, you can wash my shirt." He shrugged walking back over. A bit pale, living in the northwest can do that to you, but Axon ate up the happy trail leading into his pants like the yellow brick road nowing that all his dreams and wishes could come true if he just followed it to his emerald city.
"Well." Axon said getting up. "It would only be fair if you washed your boxers with my clothes." The dog wasn't subtle at all what he was asking for. "Could ahead and strip. It's just us guys here." He motioned down to himself as he finished as if saying that since he was in his boxers there was no reason for Tom not to be as well.
And the pants came down making the Saint Bernard stand a little taller both in height and in his pants.
"Happy?" Tom asked as if angry with the dog. Axon held his tongue wanting to nod profusely. The grin he was trying to hide only escaped him after Tom laughed tossing the pants onto the washer.
The man walked over showing off his hairy legs and semi belly. He junk was hidden within loose plain blue boxers. Tom wished he had worn the "doggy wants a bone" skin tight ones he bought one year on an impulse. And now he was freezing his jiblets off in the cold laundry room. It was raining outside and he was in his boxer's in a open window outdoors building.
Tom put on a brave face as he took a seat trying not to be noticeably shivering, which he was. Goosebumps formed up his legs and he kept having to rub his arms.
It was Axon's time to get up to change the laundry when the bell buzz. "No, no. Don't get up. I got it." He said standing up, placing a large paw on his shoulder. Tom felt even more goosebumps run up his legs. The touch was nice but the warm paw pads felt like a space heater for the shivering man.
Axon stopped the washer, peeking inside to make sure it was done before getting to work. Cracking his knuckles he wasn't about to be outdone by the man behind him. And like a pole dancer began changing the loads. It was a total joke that he pulled over rather well getting several laughs as Tom watched him try to crawl up onto the washer before quickly getting off at the creaking protest it gave. He finished dropping a sock, covering his mouth with a loud "oopsie." And bending down with a Legally Blonde bend...and snap.
Tom clapped. "If I had a few spare ones and a five it'd be all yours." He got up as the dog walked over.
"A five? Big spender." Axon teased his face almost hurting from the grin on his face, tail wagging happily.
The dog stopped as he got a big hug from Tom. He tensed not sure what to do exactly but returned the hug.
"I give, you win." Tom said against his chest.
Axon heart skipped a beat and his boxers felt tighter. This is what he had hoped for for the past year and now it was finally coming true.
"You win. It's too damn cold!" Tom laughed pulling back making the dog's ears fall back and tail tuck between his leg. He got another strong hug from the man making his heart flutter. "Your so damn warm though!" He grinned nuzzeling his chest. "But I'm not." He pulled back a bit but Axon kept his arms around him. "I need to put my clothes back on, haha."
Axon face fell even more. He was suppose to take clothes off. Not put them on. So unsure what else to do he whinned a long "noooo," and hugged him.
Tom did like the feel he had to admit. It was soft, thick and luxurious. He couldn't help but wonder just how many different products the dog must have to use to take care of all of it. It was like cotton silk against once face and body; only in his boxers Tom could feel it all against his body and underneath was a warm space heater that he'd love to curl up next to. He could see why his old cat sparky slept on the heater. He only named her sparky after she electrocuted herself on it however. But he didn't want to get burned on a space heater either.
Tom pulled back and Axon let him slip through his fingers, letting his paws linger as long as they could before resting them on his shoulder.
"Look, Axon." Tom started and the dog began to chew his lower lip. "Your a good guy." The dog wanted to scream. Not the good guy speach again. "But..."
"Whoa, whoa." Axon took a step began quickly trying to steer the conversation into a more positive direction. "I mean sorry about poking you there," he joked. "Yet I mean I'm seeing someone," he mentally slapped himself thinking why oh why he said that of all the possible reasons he wasn't interestd. "I just think your cute," a bit of honest always helps with a lie. "And fun. And," he should probably stop before he goes to far. "And I wanted to invite you over!" He winced after he said it but Tom seemed to grab onto that and the remnants of hope began to surface once more.
"Oh really? I'd love that. What did you have in mind." Tom said glad he didn't have to turn down another person he'd love to still hang out with.
"Dinner-," he started but saw the expression forming on Tom's face and quickly changed it. "With a movie series of lord of the rings of course! I mean the new movie's coming out and I have to watch them all again!"
"I'm glad someone else does. I felt like such a nerd when I did that with star wars." Tom said switching to a more friendly upbeat tone. More like old friends than someone that was misreading his fun, playful antics for something more.
"Then being disappointed with the new ones." Axon said glad that the topic had shifted. Although he got a strike this time he still had two more left and now he was on the field.
"Exactly my thoughts." Tom smiled and was glad when Axon took a step closer. There was less of a wanting sexual vibe coming from him and he was sure the dog wasn't going to try to devour him at least for tonight.
"So...you busy tonight?" Axon asked sticking his tongue out and Tom was slightly taken aback by the size of and width of it. It made him blush a bit.
"Well I need to finish my laundry and I got work in the morning." Tom said walking over to get his pants on. Axon was sad to see that sweet ass get covered up but knew things weren't going anywhere tonight. Though he wouldnt' mind keeping him warm in a bear hug until the laundry was done.
"This Friday then." Axon said not about to let the issue just slip away. He could win him over slowly as a friend. Before going for the home run...he really needed to stop thinking of base balls. Or just balls in general as his would be blue tonight.
"This Friday..." Tom rolled it over in his head weighing if he wanted to say no even though he didn't have plans or say yes and risk losing his Friday. But he thought that was stupid. The main thing he was trying to do these days was get more friends, not knowing many people in the city. "Sure. That'd work out great." And Axon was already beginning to plot.