CH2 Victim of Mare
#3 of Barriers
CH2:Victim of Mare:
Following the near catastrophic events of the S.S Texas, James receives a reminder of the past and a drive for the future...
Victim of Mare
"I'm bored... This is boring." A young Kyle Anderson whined, rocking back and forth on the floor, making no attempts to avoid crumpling the homework he was previously working on. James Finch glanced up from his maths book.
"I am too..." he admitted as he twirled his pencil around his index finger. Realizing he had baited James, Kyle wolfishly grinned as he devised his plan.
"Then let's go have some fun." Kyle proposed knowingly, his eyes glinting with childish excitement.
"We can't," James pouted, "Mom said we had to finish our homework first..." Although James disliked homework, he knew that he had to do it or else he wouldn't do well in class, therefore his mother would scold him and most likely ground him. Kyle, on the other hand, was of the opposite mindset. Sometimes James found himself wishing for such lenient parents as Kyle's. Kyle jumped up from his position on James' bedroom floor and stretched, his already bulky limbs noisily snapping from the movement.
"Who cares about dumb homework? We can do it later, after it gets dark." James indecisively peeked up from his homework in question at Kyle. "It'll be fun, come on..." Kyle's persuasion persisted as he grabbed James' shoulder and began to lightly pull, as if the psychological pull of entertainment wasn't enough.
"As...as long as we get it done later... Though you have to promise that we'll be back by nighttime!"James reasoned. Kyle grinned victoriously, putting away his unwanted homework. A glance at the digital clock told him it was around "4:30 P.M".
"I cross my heart we'll be home by night." Kyle's rigid proclamation was not enough for James.
"No, you have to pinky promise." Sighing, Kyle grabbed up James' smaller hand in his. Although they were both ten, Kyle was already beginning to bulk up much faster than James. With pinky fingers interlocked, the two boys squeezed.
"I promise we'll be home by night. Now, let's go!" James, satisfied with the binding oath, let himself be pulled by Kyle out of his bedroom and into the hallway. All we have to do is watch out for Mom and we'll be fine, James reassured himself as they passed Lucy's room and the bathroom they shared. The two friends exited the hallway and entered the dining room and kitchen area. Knowing that James' sister and mother were cooking dinner, the two attempted to stealthily slip past them undetected. Unfortunately their position was given away as James slipped on the floor.
Both Lucy, James' sister, and his mother, Charlotte Finch, looked over to where James and Kyle were sprawled on the floor.
"What are you two dummies doing?" James' little sister asked critically. The young girl had been helping her mother cook dinner when James slipped onto Kyle, causing the duo to become tangled on the dark wooden floor. Charlotte stopped stirring the spaghetti sauce and looked skeptically at her son.
"I thought you two were doing your homework? Are you done already?" the two ten year olds managed to untangle themselves and stand at attention in the presence of an adult.
"Yes-"
"Not really..."
Kyle hit James' side with his elbow and looked at him pleadingly. Charlotte Finch crossed her arms, chastising.
"You know the rules, boys."
"But, but... We were going to do it later, when it got dark." Kyle explained, shuffling in place nervously. James stepped up to Kyle, ready to support his attempts at coercing his mother.
"We Were! We just thought... Since it's so nice out that we could enjoy the weather before it turns dark."
"Yeah! We promise we'll get it done later." Kyle argued, hopefully solidifying their argument. James' mother looked between the two, appraising the likelihood of the boys actually doing their homework. After a tense ten seconds Charlotte smiled lovingly at the children.
"Alright, you can go. Though remember your promise!" Charlotte called out as the two friends hurried out of the kitchen and exited the house.
Immediately the warm pre-summer air washed against James' skin as Kyle pulled him along towards the small forest across the street. Although it still wasn't as refreshing as fall weather, the summer was still retained a gentle coaxing to its breeze.
"Shouldn't you tell your parent's, Ky?" James pulled away from his friends grip to catch his breath as an odd feeling crept forward from the recesses of his mind.
"They're out for the day. Work or something." Kyle dismissed the question almost as easily as he had convinced James to put aside his homework for later. James looked back at his home as if the image called to be remembered. The white colored home was definitely made for a politician's family. The two story home had been upgraded by James' father, Caleb Finch, to resemble the many popular modern styles that pervaded the 21st century. Large glass windows contrasted in an oddly elegant way with the colonial brick building that had stood prior to James' father's remodeling. The lavish, expensive home was unique in the largely suburban, upper-class community of Springfield. Although the warm sun and clear, blue sky looked the epitome of picturesque against the modern mansion, James felt a strange feeling as he imprinted the image into his mind. A foreboding stillness that gave meaning to the phrase "calm before the storm", a feeling that made young James wish for his father's swift return home.
Kyle nudged James as he stared at his wealthy abode. "What's wrong?" a hint of concern could be heard below the otherwise optimistic question. James shook his head, snapping himself out of his thoughts.
"It's nothing. C'mon, let's go!" James assured, rushing past his best friend and toward the forest across the street.
The two boys ran through the forest like they were part of the tribes of old. Joking, yelling, and laughing shattered the serene silence of the green space. All the while Kyle kept on bragging about a secret, special place he had found the other day. James anxiously awaited the reveal of the place and when they finally came to it Kyle's words of grandeur were proven to be more than true. Kyle had brought James to a spring in the middle of the forest which lay underneath a canopy of temperate trees. A large boulder rested at one end of the clear pool and an overhanging willow at the other. Even at a young, impulsive age of ten, James could appreciate the wonder and surreal beauty the place evoked. Kyle's large grin made it obvious that he was pleased that James found the place as wonderful as he had. There at the spring in the small forest the two children played and talked for the next two hours until James noted the slowly curving sun nearing the horizon. After much hesitation and many excuses, the two left the serene place as an orange hue blanketed the forest. As the two friends hurried home, James began to fall behind Kyle as the more athletic boy sped away from him.
"Hey! Wait for me!" James called to the figure of his friend. However, the boy continued to run, not giving James a second glance.
"Jerk! C'mon, wait up!" James called once again, slight desperation slipping into his loud tone. James took a moment to observe the strange darkness that seemed to be creeping closer to him. It was only sunset a few moments ago... why is it getting dark so quickly, James pondered, suddenly feeling a pang of fear. James looked toward Kyle's quickly disappearing figure, but as he looked before him the boy had completely vanished into the darkness. The black, inky haze had begun to blotch out the top of the trees.
"Kyle! Come back! Where are you?" James slowed down to a full stop as he desperately yelled for his friend's return. A chilling silence enveloped the boys as the miasma of darkness continued to creep ever closer. "This isn't funny!" James shouted, frantic. Suddenly, a voice pierced the thundering silence.
"You abandon us." James jumped at the sound, but was thankful for the familiar voice.
"Lucy, where are you? Kyle disappeared and I don't know where..." James' sudden hope was dashed away like a dirty rag as the darkness made it so the trees nearest to him completely vanished.
"You could have saved us."
"Mom? Mom, what are you talking about...? I'm... I'm scared..."
"You hurt us, James... You killed us!" Lucy's voice broke the dam that contained James' memories. All of the repressed emotions forced themselves through his head like a tidal wave. As the memories of May 20th, 2044 seemed to rip his mind apart, James screamed out in both pain and horror. The voices refused to cease.
"You let us burn while you walked away free! You should have died!" the estranged voice of Lucy shouted at him. The sudden flash, followed by a nauseating, siren-like buzz made James' ears ring severely. The terrible siren, the column of light... the screams of burning pain.
"There... there was nothing I could do..." James struggled to defend himself as his world became blackness.
"You liar! You could have saved us! You could have stopped it!" his mother accused maliciously. James vigorously shook his throbbing head.
"Please mom, I couldn't-" James was cut off by another wave of scream inducing pain stemming from his memories. Springfield destroyed, Mother and Lucy dead... "Please..." James begged, his hands clutching at his head in attempt to ward off the blinding pain, "Please make it stop mom!"
Sweating and fearful, James breathlessly woke with a start. Although the startled gasp understated his fear, the blood pounded through his veins like a drum. For a brief moment James' eyes searched the room for a possible threat, but found only silent darkness. Once James started to think rationally, he began to go through the usual calming motions.
You're safe. It was only a... dream. You're safe, you idiot, James aggressively pacified himself, throwing the covers off his nearly nude body. As his brown eyes adjusted to the nearly pitch black lighting, James looked around at his room, the layout of his furniture becoming his anchor to reality. James swung his legs over the bed so his feet were hanging just above the cold wooden floor. To further calm himself James resorted to rubbing his arms in a delicate manner. Although it was his own touch, the feeling of his flesh creating warm friction elicited a pleasant sensation. James softly chuckled at the familiarity of the situation. Sixteen years of the same nightmare and it still scares the shit out of me.
Ever since the Bombing of 2044 the dream had recurred at least every month, if not every week. James had secretly gone to a shrink in college and was diagnosed with PTSD, unsurprisingly. Recurring nightmares were not the only symptom James showed. The constant overreactions to stressful situations and seemingly split personality that came with that proved to be more than enough to confirm his disturbed mind. The incident in Jerusalem when he was twenty only served to enhance the condition and make it a force that would attempt to destroy his life. After the PTSD seemed to enhance, a manifestation of himself took form as an avatar for the destructive mental condition. A side of him that was always trying to strike and gain control at the moment James was weakest. Although James was feeling more in control the past five years, the condition would come out of the blue to strike with a vengeance. With the recent attack on the space station and... consequences it could have brought James an attack that resembled his attacks after Jerusalem. For James it was a constant war of control of his life with the wins and loses a war brought.
James sleepily sauntered around the queen sized bed toward the door to the living room. The blue-ish tint of the television as he opened the door was proof that Kyle had left the T.V on when he went to bed. He was probably waiting for me, like usual, James knew, He's just like a puppy waiting for his owner to return. At the thought James felt guilty.
Ada had sent James home at around six o'clock. However, James didn't step foot in his apartment until one in the morning. After work, James headed straight toward the North Virginia Firing Range to release a few clips into synthetic targets. Even though James had never been in an actual firefight, the practice was always a good release. The whole time, as bullets unloaded from the barrel of his 10mm pistol, James pondered the recent events that quickly spiraled out of anyone's control. The S.S Texas, Tebra, Ada, Frank Alvarez, and most of all Kyle. "It's just that I feel like I barely ever see you and I fucking live with you." The comment from earlier that morning had nagged him throughout the day and into the dark night, each time bringing James guilt and regret. James knew it was pathetic worrying about his personal life when an ominous war was just waiting to ignite, but the realization that he had been neglecting his best friend ever since they moved in together made James worry about something more concerning than the Texas situation. No, to James the scariest part of his life was the possibility of losing Kyle. What if he leaves because I'm never around...? James could barely fathom what he would do if he lost the only anchor he had in his tumultuous life. The only thing that made him feel like an actual human being and not some revenge driven, terrorist fighting robot.
Even after four hours at the shooting range, the feeling failed to cease. So, James left and drove to the nearest bar hoping that alcohol would be able to drown his intrusive thoughts. The burly, stereotypical "biker bar" called "The Last Round" had approximately twelve old-school choppers resting on the curb outside. The image of James parking in front with his Audi hover-car looked ridiculous and out of place, apparent by the incredulous and territorial stares of the men that occupied the establishment. The differences only became more profound when James stepped out of the pretentious vehicle and compared himself to the burly, hairy bikers. Ignoring the stares, James made his way into the bar, quickly enough as to avoid unnecessary confrontation from any inebriated men. Once inside, James indifferently made his way to the bar where the gruff-looking bartender seemed to be appraising him. When James mumbled for a scotch the bear-like man burst out laughing, in between breaths asking for James' I.D.
Ever since he was had graduated from high school and began life as a college student, James had been mistaken for someone of much younger age. Some though it cute like his political science professor and Kyle, while others made it a point of mockery. However, all of them had at least one similar thought. All of them underestimated him, an outlook far worse than mockery. At times the underestimation tilted situations into his favor, but the embarrassment and insult still irritated. Unfortunately, the stigma would forever be a part of James' life, even when he tried to order a drink at a bar.
James had simply sighed at the common reaction and quickly flashed his identification. With a somewhat surprised look the bartender went to get James his drink. James stayed there for a while. Drinking his scotch and ignoring the unwelcoming stares of the hardened men in the bar. It stayed like that for a solid hour before James' solitude was interrupted.
James glanced out of the corner of his eyes as he sipped the glass of scotch. The man that sat beside him at the bar was tall with a white shirt which tugged against his impressive musculature. The man tossed a black leather jacket over the back end of his stool and propped his elbows on the counter, signaled the bartender. "I'll have a Downunder, Teddy." The distinct Australian accent sounded like a suave, yet rough edged knife that cut through the rest of the sounds that pervaded the bar. The bartender nodded in acknowledgment, a familiar smile forming on his hairy face.
"Gettin' into any more trouble, convict?" the bartender asked humorously , looking through the shelf that held an assortment of bottled alcohol. The man beside James let out a bark of a laugh. "Yeah got in a bit of a'... scrap with some bludger."
The bartender, Teddy, chuckled sliding a glass of "Downunder Vodka" across the bar's length. "Typical convict..." Teddy started talking to one of the other customers once the drink reached the Australian strangers hand. James took another swig of his scotch, the burning sensation in his throat warming him up. A few more moments passed as James continued to drink.
"I knew something was off about you, mate." The accent was directed toward James this time. The young man continued to stare into his near empty glass. "Oh really?" James muttered uninterestingly.
"Well, you aren't the most inconspicuous bloke in this bar." James rolled his eyes, refusing to look at the already annoying man. "You don't say?"
"Not to mention you don't take note of a guy who sits next to you when there's plenty other room at the bar." James looked down the bar and took note of the available seats. The mysterious man had one thing right, James was unskilled in the area of bar socialization.
"Aren't you damn observant? Enlighten me then, what does that mean?" James turned roughly to the man. James narrowed his eyes as he examined the man's features. Mid length, brown hair topped his head. Bright blue eyes stared at James smugly, almost... seductively? On the man's strong face was a goatee that reminded James of the many bachelors that inhabited Washington. A hairy chest poked through the collar of his white t-shirt and no doubt ran down to the man's belly button, right above his dark, black leather pants. James let his eyes wander back up to stare directly into the man's pools of blue almost threateningly.
"The name's Grover Smith." The man stuck his hand out toward James, but he ignored the hand as if he had never offered it. Noting James' glare Grover pulled his hand back smoothly, whistling as he did.
"You are something, aren't you? Well, to answer your question when somebody sits next to you at a bar it means that they want to get to know you..."
"I'm not looking for a friend Mr. Grover-"
"Or they're looking for a good fuck." The rude comment caused James to gulp and his eyes widen. That was... blunt.
"Umm... Excuse me?" Grover's eyes twinkled with a lecherous quality. James swore that the temperature in the bar went up ten degrees.
"You can't be that surprised. A young, cute looking spunk like you walks into a bar full of burly, masculine bikers, most of whom are drunk, and don't expect to draw attention from the horny crowd?" James stared incredulously at the much more masculine man. Although homosexuality and bisexuality had mostly become part of the socially accepted, James had rarely ever been hit on by many males. Or at least James had never acknowledged it if they had. Grover Smith rested his head against his palm, continuing to gaze at James hungrily.
"So... what say you, huh mate? You single and looking for a strong, rough man like me to show you a good time...?" James knew he looked like a deer in headlights, but he couldn't seem to bring himself out of his haze. Most all of James' mind told him to tell the guy to fuck off. However, a tiny part of him was shouting for him to accept Grover's offer and James was... actually having to think about it. Why am I hesitating? This shouldn't need even a second of thought... but...
"Sorry, I'm already taken." James managed to compose himself with his quick lie. Grover leaned back and eyed him skeptically. "Really...? What's the lucky person's name?" Then the word vomit quickly followed.
"Kyle." James couldn't mentally reprimand himself fast enough. Why the fuck did I just say that?! Glover squinted his eyes at James, his roguish smirk disappearing for a brief moment. After a second of appraisal, Grover sighed and his carefree demeanor returned. "Damn, ain't that a bitch...?" It appeared to James that his fib had fooled the lewd Australian, but James was more worried about the name he had said. Kyle's name had come out before James even had time to really think about it. Why couldn't I have just said "Dan" or... I don't know, "Lucifer"? Why did I say "Kyle"? Grover said his disappointed farewell, but not before giving James a slip of paper with his number.
"I hope you realize you don't even know my name." James mumbled to the departing man. Grover winked at James as he slipped in his leather jacket. I will admit he looks... handsome and he is filled to the brim with confidence.
"I like the mystery, Mr. No-Name." And with those slightly erotic parting words, Grover exited the bar with his drink in hand leaving James to his thoughts. The awkward moment when he said that his best friend was his boyfriend reminded James of the morning and Kyle's irritation at his lack of free time. He went in knowing that my job was stressful and time consuming. H_e knows why I can't be home all the time. Then... why do I feel like I should be trying harder...?_ The guilt continued to hit James, the scotch that he continued to throw down his throat failing to get him drunk enough to forget. This is what I get for getting my father's drinking genes. James left "The Last Round" just as he had entered it, guilty and out of place.
James shook his head and made his way to the bathroom. The slight shake still had yet to be extinguished by his previous attempts at calming himself so James decided he would try to shock himself out of it. The sudden bright light of the bathroom made James squint unpleasantly as he fished around for the faucet so he could get the water running. Once he found it, James pressed the small button on the side that directly stated "Cold". The water began to flow generously and when James tested the temperature of the liquid he found it to be cold enough for his next move. James leaned over the sink and put his face close to the running water and splashed his face with the shockingly cold water. A quick breath escaped his lips when the cold sensation hit his skin. However, the water had its intended effect; James could already feel the shaking subside. James let the chilling feeling of the water slowly depart as he tiredly looked into the mirror at his disheveled appearance. Goddamn, to think it's been sixteen years...
The Bombing of 2044 had come without any fanfare playing the sounds of America's downfall or any tolling of alarms. Instead, the peaceful community went through the day as if it were just another uneventful, summer day. When the ion bomb went off the town was unsurprisingly destroyed. Reports afterward stated that it was an attack that was targeted at the government officials that called Springfield home, such as the up and coming politician by the name of Caleb Finch. In a sick and twisted way it was funny. James' own father essentially got his mother and sister killed along with many other innocents. James knew it wasn't his father's fault, but the irony of the situation didn't go ignored by him. Kyle's family had luckily not been affected. Apart from losing their home like many others, the Anderson's walked away with no casualties. James, at the time felt envy and even anger at Kyle for not losing what he had. However, these feelings soon dissipated once the Anderson's offered as much help as they could. The Anderson's household became a more familiar part of his life than his father ever had. Caleb attempted to become a stagnant part of James' life, but the relationship never developed past the estranged. However, as all things do, the Bombing of 2044 became a stain on America's sordid history with terrorism, but the effect it had on James' life would always be felt.
James looked at himself in the mirror, the doppelganger in the glass' eyes staring into his soul. James thought back to the nightmare that had disturbed his slumber, the terrifying images of his mother, his sister, and Springfield that cursed James with PTSD, forever scaring his mind. However, James looked at the dream in a different light. That's what you're trying to stop. What you're trying to make sure never happens again. A reminder. To James it served as a constant reminder of his goal to see terrorism wiped off the face of the world. He knew it would be looked at as naïve and foolish, but that didn't change James' drive.
James breathed in deeply, the air filling his lungs and slowing his heart rate. Tiredness had already begun to make his limbs feel heavier than they were. With a recuperating sigh, James pushed himself off the bathroom counter and headed back to his bedroom to, hopefully, get a few more hours of sleep...
James mumbled sleepily as someone shook him lightly. "...you be awake already?" a muffled voice asked him. Kyle's cloudy face filled James vision.
"Huh...?" James grunted as he sat up, Kyle sitting on the side of the bed in a turquoise, tight polo and stylish jeans that tugged at his muscular form. "I asked 'Shouldn't you be up already?'" Kyle looked at James, slight concern showing on his brow. Golden rays of sunlight seeped through the closed blinds making the man look like a saint in the heavenly light.
James rubbed at his eyes and began stretching his arms. As the covers fell from his body, revealing his bare torso, James thought he noticed a slight blush appear on Kyle's cheeks. "I have the day off..." James answered looking at the blue light of the alarm clock on his nightstand. It read ten o'clock.
Kyle stared at James skeptically, his hand still resting on James' upper thigh. "I didn't think they did that kind of thing in the C.I.A."
"They don't." A moment of pause followed, James staring into space. Kyle slapped James' leg and sat up from the bed.
"Well, I was just making myself some breakfast. Might as well make you some since you're staying home today." James continued to stare at nothing in particular, lost in his own thought. Kyle tapped his shoulder.
"Hey, are you okay? Did something happen at work?" Kyle enquired, worry filling his voice. It didn't surprise James. Kyle was well aware of James'... problems. Reassuringly, James rested his own hand on Kyle's', smiling softly to support the motion. I don't deserve someone like Kyle... Admittedly, James found the warmth that radiated from it pleasing. "Yeah, I'm fine. Now be a good little housewife and get me my breakfast." Kyle snorted and made his way out of the room.
"Asshole. Why I was even worried about you is beyond me..." James' smile fell once Kyle disappeared into the kitchen. As happy as Kyle was that he had the day off, James was not. To him it was a waste of precious time and energy he could be putting into the Texas case or even the Cairo al-Qaeda stronghold. Even now James couldn't see why Ada would call him the best asset the C.I.A had and then send him on a two day vacation while they were in the midst of the end of the world. She said it was for him, but James couldn't believe that her intention was to only give him time to sort his personal life and relax. However, as much as James complained about the time off he was looking forward to spending time with Kyle or at least relaxing.
With an unsurprisingly sluggish attitude, James put on a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt so he wasn't walking around half-naked around the house. Although Kyle had no problem with waltzing about in just his underwear, James still liked to keep a classy, reserved approach to clothing. Even with his best friend whom he had known for his whole life.
When James walked out of the bedroom where Kyle was already placing food on the bar the separated the kitchen and living room. On both of the plates were large stacks of waffles with five pieces of bacon clustered to the side. James grimaced at the delicious, but filling, food that started to make his mouth water. He knows I won't be able to eat that much. Kyle, even when deterred by James' constant assurances of his inability to consume large helpings of food, always gave James the same amount he had. Usually he would end up eating what James didn't eat anyway. James continued to the bar and sleepily slipped onto the comfortable bar stool. "Prince Charming..." James muttered as he looked at the huge amount of food before him.
Kyle smirked enchantingly, "I try." James rolled his eyes, picking up his fork to begin eating the mountain of waffles. Kyle sat on the stool beside him, his large frame threatening to bump against his. James glanced at the time and then back to his roommate. "Shouldn't you be out...'personal training'?" Kyle shoved an approximate handful of waffle into his mouth before answering.
"It's Tuesday." The large man mumbled matter-of-factly through the mass of chewed waffles. James' brow contorted puzzlingly, not wholly seeing the correlation.
"Your point?"
"I have Tuesdays off."
"Since when?" A short, amused bark of a laugh followed.
"Since forever." James sheepishly looked down at his food, avoiding the gaze of his massive friend. "Oh."
James felt another pang of guilt at the moment of ignorance. I seem to be feeling those a lot lately..., James thought tiredly. The young man glanced at Kyle quickly. I didn't even know when he had his days off. What kind of friend am I? James' thoughts from the night before began to creep in from the shadows of his mind. I'm such a bad friend. What if he realizes this and thinks about leaving me? Fuck, after that slip up he probably already has! James' vicious thoughts were silenced when Kyle's deep voice directed itself at him.
"So, why'd they give you a day off? That's never happened." James swallowed the food before responding.
"Two days and, apparently, I have nothing better to do during that time. So, I was told to 'enjoy some time off.'" Kyle chuckled amiably, the fact that he was always with some man or woman becoming very believable.
"You say that like it's a bad thing. I think it's about time those bastards gave you a break." James scowled at the thought by way of his plate of food. "It's not the break itself, it's the timing."
Kyle propped his elbow on the table and rested his head on the palm, his eyes squinting in question, "Whattaya mean?"
"That's...", James began before correcting himself, "I'm sorry, that's confidential." Kyle sighed heavily at the typical response. James felt bad for not being able to divulge his work problems with his friend, but the secrecy of the information was paramount.
"Of course it is." Kyle said sarcastically, but still retained his light-hearted tone. A long pause followed, James' chewing of his breakfast becoming much more prevalent. Why is this so awkward? I feel like... like I hardly know him... Luckily Kyle broke the silence.
"Jamey, you can talk to me about stuff." James sighed wearily. Not this again...
"Ky, you know-"
"Yes, I know, you can't talk about work, but that's not what I'm talking about. I mean you can talk about... 'you' stuff." James blinked confusedly at Kyle's wording.
"'You' stuff?"
"Yeah, like... personal stuff. Ok," Kyle creased his brow in thought for a moment before lighting up, "What are you feeling right now?" James scoffed in amusement.
"You've gotta be kidding me..."
"I'm serious James! What are you feeling right now?"
"Annoyed."
"James..." Kyle whined like an animal begging for a treat.
"Fine! Give me a second..." James rolled his eyes at the wide eyed expression on Kyle's face. Deciding it best to answer his friend honestly, James searched his emotions for "what he was feeling".I'm feeling... I'm feeling anxious? Stressed...? Lonely... Afraid and helpless... Thinking about his feelings did nothing for James' mood, but it did make James realize that if he wanted to stop from being lonely he would have to put in some effort himself. Maybe this is what Ada meant when she told me to take these days off. James looked straight into Kyle's yellow-green eyes.
"I feel like doing something." Kyle exhaled heavily, his shoulders dropping disappointedly. "Not what I meant, Jamey."
"Me and you, let's go do something." Kyle looked taken aback. Although he was smiling even wider than before, James noticed he had surprised him. "Um, sure... w-what do you have in mind?"
"Well, as much as a surprise as this may be, I don't actually have a lot of expertise when it comes to socializing. I was hoping you'd have a better idea of what to do for... a good time." Kyle's hesitant reaction earlier melted under an ecstatic front. So much in fact the larger man laughed jovially.
"Of course! Well, there's the gym, but I can't see that being that much fun for you. There's the mall! Then again, we don't seem to have much to spend, but we can still just walk around. Oh, then there's the movies, we could go see-" James smiled gently at his enthusiasm before cutting Kyle off.
"While you think on that I'm going to go take a shower. And Ky?" Kyle looked down at his departing friend happily. "Yeah?" James began walking to the bathroom as he muttered over his shoulder.
"...Thanks for being such a good friend."