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"Anything You Can Do"

or

"Locomotion Picture"

I saw a guy cum on a train once.

He was just sitting there with his trousers pulled halfway down his thighs, cock out, stroking away. Seemed like he was pretty relaxed. Might have been looking out the window watching the world pass by, but then all of a sudden his hips lurched forward and he started tossing a load out on the little fold-out table in front of him. Nice and thick, too. Some of it shot off the other side; you could hear it spattering on the floor.

Now when I say I saw it, I really mean that was just some video I found online, but it got me wondering.

Did he just leave all that cum there for someone to find later? Looked like he had a private compartment for himself and whoever was filming. The video only showed from the neck down, and I didn't see his tail, so I don't know what species he was. Probably a raccoon. Raccoons are the right kind of callous and cavalier to just whip it out and leave a mess for someone else to clean up. Yeah, I bet it was a raccoon.

But like I said, watching that video got me several levels of curious. You see, I run a small paysite, just a personal enterprise to fill up my spare time. The site's swimshorts.net. I used to be captain of the swim team back when I was in school, not too long ago. Yeah, it's not a great name, I know, but it was vague enough at the time. I mean, for a porn site run by an otter. The material is what really matters anyway. See, not to brag, but I've got a pretty nice figure and a thick cock that I like to treat people to and that I like to put in other dudes, and I like to do it while a camera is rolling. My work is often of a very public nature, as well - I find the thrill of showing off for a live audience always improves my performance. A few years back I put a few freebies up on the net and they got popular enough that people were willing to throw me a few bones (no pun intended). You can probably figure the rest out on your own.

You want to know why some thirty second video of a coon jacking it on the train got me curious, though.

I'm an athlete, and I've still got a bit of a competitive streak. You know, the whole "Anything you can do, I can do better" jig. So while riding the Eurostar back from Paris one weekend, I decided I could do a whole lot better than one measly cumshot on a train.

I was traveling with some of my "assistants," if you will. The three of us were sitting in the very middle of the car, where two rows of seats face one another with a small table in the middle. I had two seats to myself; sitting across from me were a hawk and a rabbit. The hawk, named Hawk (if I ever met his parents, I'd ask them why they didn't give that more thought), had mostly black feathers with royal blue trim. Hawk had been with me for quite some time, pretty much from the start. The bunny was a new recruit we picked up in Paris (although he was just there touring, too). His name... his name was... fuck, I forgot. I'll just say his name was Dutch because that's what kind of rabbit he was. You know, the kind with black fur up to the belt line, white fur from the waist up, except for black around their ears and eyes.

Bollocks, I probably need to explain about my assistants, don't I? Right, well the short of it is that I can't very well run a porn site without someone else to fuck, so I employ several willing participants to feature alongside (or rather astride) myself in videos. In return for their cooperation, they get room and board, a shiny collar with a tag that says "Jeff's," a uniform that they get to help pick out from their favorite lingerie store, free digital copies of all the videos they feature in, and... I'm forgetting something.

Hmm.

Oh of course, they get boned a lot.

Honestly, that's probably most of the incentive for the lads who try out for the job.

Anyway, I'd just finished explaining all that and some contractual obligations to Dutch in a voice loud enough to make him blush and fold his ears back (like that was going to stop other people from hearing). The train car was quite empty as it was, which was odd, but convenient. No one was sitting in any of the seats adjacent to us. Didn't seem like I'd ever have a better chance to outdo that raccoon, so I fished my phone out of my pocket and set the camera to video. I snapped my fingers once to get Hawk's attention, and then I pointed at Dutch and made a gesture that I knew the bird would recognize.

Hawk gave a nod and started sucking on his fingers. About that time, a voice came over the intercom saying we were about to enter the channel tunnel.

Dutch was looking confused, so I leaned forward over the table and ushered for him to do the same. When his nose was inches from mine, I sat back and leveled my phone with his face, zooming in just in time to catch his expression as Hawk slipped a hand down the back of the bunny's pants. His eyes went wide and a second later his ears stood up straight and his mouth fell open as the bird slipped a finger inside him. There was a loud humming sound as the windows went black and the whirr of wheels on rail began to echo through the tunnel. Dark as it was outside, the car was still well lit, so I didn't have to worry about losing any footage of Dutch while he squirmed in his seat. The rabbit's ears were pinned back once more, and his front teeth were showing while he bit down on his upper lip to stop from moaning. He tried putting his hands in his lap, but I told him not to, so he clutched at his armrests, fingers gripping tightly while his arms trembled.

I pinched my fingers on my phone's touchscreen to zoom in on Dutch's crotch, getting a nice shot of the bunny's bulge. He was restless in his seat as the hawk kept pumping away with that finger. The bird gives a mean prostate massage, I'll tell you, tickling that little bit of tenderness until, well, until you're fidgeting like Dutch was with a wet spot blooming in the front of his slacks. I bet his tail was fluttering faster than that train we were on.

When the rabbit looked like he might be getting the hang of it, I waved at Hawk and held up two fingers. Dutch actually moaned when the second one went in, loud enough that he had to clap a hand over his mouth, his eyes darting around the car to see if anyone had heard. I said, "If you need to shut up, then lean over and give birdie here a BJ." Dutch stared at me, suppressing another shuddering moan while his hips jumped forward, darkening the damp spot on his crotch all over again. I thought his eyes might pop out of his head when he looked next to him to find Hawk had already unzipped himself, the bird's cock out, stiff and dripping pre. I'm not sure he noticed when Hawk took his fingers out (just long enough to put the armrest between them up), but the rabbit didn't resist when the bird grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled his face dickward. There was no more hesitation after that. Dutch's mouth was already hanging open anyway, and he was head-bobbing soon after, no doubt showing off the same tongue-twisting techniques from the back hallway of the club I found him in two nights ago.

With Dutch turned to the side, I had a much better angle on Hawk's fingers working in and out of the bunny, his black spade of a tail twitching erratically while the bird pushed his buttons. Hawk had his other hand propped on the rabbit's head, as if Dutch was going to get cold feet, but he didn't show any signs of stopping, sucking and slurping away at the bird's dick, just loud enough to get picked up on the audio. The avian's beak was parted, panting lightly as every now and then he'd thrust up into the bunny's maw. Even if they weren't being loud, their scent would have been turning heads soon enough.

I had been hard throughout, just rubbing myself through my trousers with my non-phone hand, and it wasn't long before I decided I would do something about that. It would have been enough just to have them keep going, to have them cum all over themselves in the middle of the public car. That would have topped that raccoon, and I'd have been satisfied. But I wouldn't have been satisfied, and while it's usually not an issue for me, there are limits to what can be done in front of other people without being asked to refrain from boarding a Eurostar train again.

So once they started moaning loud enough that I could tell they were close, I told them to knock it off.

I stopped recording right after they looked at me with those pained, needy expressions, knowing that would make a nice transition to the next scene when I edited this together. Then I stood up, belt-tucking my hard-on, and told them to follow me toward the front of the train. Empty as our car was, I figured it wouldn't be too hard to find a private compartment up in Business Premier that wasn't in use.

It didn't take long. The fourth door I knocked on gave no answer, so I bade the bird and bunny hobble inside and locked the door behind us. The setup inside was similar to where we were sitting before, with two pairs of seats facing each other, though the space between was free of the table. The compartment also featured a large window, taking up most of the wall, just as I had hoped. I pulled my phone back out and started recording again just as we left the tunnel. Outside, the White Horse galloped past on Cheriton Hill, its head raised proudly, ivory mane streaming through the grassy hillside.

"All right, both of you, strip."

Being forced to parade through several passenger cars with a visible erection must have temporarily cowed Dutch because he actually looked surprised when I gave the order, but Hawk needed no further prompting.

"You can keep your underwear on sweet cheeks," I said to the bird. I hadn't made him wear his uniform on the train, but he was still sporting a pair of lace panties, coloured a deep blue that matched his accents. The hawk's cock was still stiff and slick with spit, held in place by his panties and practically glowing pink against the black plumage on his stomach. "Why don't you give Dutch a hand, he looks like he needs some help."

While Dutch was relieved of his clothes by our feathered friend, I unbuckled, unbuttoned, and unzipped myself, pulling the front of my jock out and down to let my shaft spring free.

Once Dutch was naked, I handed my phone to Hawk and told him to take a seat. "You're going to be a good camera-boy, and you're not going to touch yourself, are you?"

He keened and shook his head, holding the phone up and aiming the lens at my crotch, running his tongue along the edge of his beak.

I smiled and reached into my left pocket, retrieving a packet of lube and a leather cock ring I like to keep handy. I snapped the leather strip around the base of my cock, feeling the blood start to pulse against the new restriction, and then I turned my attention to the rabbit.

He was standing in front of me, arms folded over his chest, feet turned inward and knees knocking together, his prick primed and pointing straight out from above a pair of fluffy black balls. I turned him around to face the window, bending him over to lean with his hands against the windowsill. I stood over him, groping and massaging his ass, spreading his cheeks and watching them jiggle back into place. I pressed my thumb against his hole, sliding over it while I said, "Birdie got you loosened up a little bit, but you still need to relax." He whimpered while I kept at it, pressing down and feeling the way he twitched. "You're going to have to learn to go with it."

He gasped when I shoved my thumb inside him, curling and working it around to loosen his ring more. I grabbed him by the tail and yanked upward so he'd spread his legs and arch his back more. "That's more like it. Do what feels natural. Slut."

That made his ears droop.

I spanked his right cheek, and he squeaked. "Don't act like you don't enjoy it. You love being a slut. Right?" He didn't say anything, so I spanked his left cheek even harder. "Right?" He gave another squeak and nodded. "Say it."

"I love being a slut." It was little more than a whisper, but we'd work on that.

"Good. And you'll do whatever I say, whenever I say it. Right?"

He nodded again, but when I lifted my hand from his ass once more, he said "Yes, I'll do anything you want. I'm... your bitch."

"Now that's more like it. You want this, don't you?" I gave his hole a prod with my dick and ran it between his cheeks, grinding through the cleft of his ass. My shaft was throbbing, sensitive to the fur brushing across my flesh, pre spilling out from my tip and mussing up the underside of his tail. He said "Yes" as I was tearing open the lube packet and smearing its contents along my length. I used two slick fingers to give his hole a good coating, too, pushing them inside and rotating. "You would beg for it, wouldn't you? I know you would. Today there's no need, though." And that said, I grabbed him by the hips and pressed my tip to his ring, leaning forward.

He was tight, even after all that fingering. It took some wiggling, but my tip finally sank in with a pop and a gasp from the rabbit. After that I just had to put enough of my weight behind it until my hips were rubbing up against that plush rump. Part of me was worried that if I fucked him like I wanted to, we'd end up getting complaints from the neighboring compartments. So I gave it to him slow and steady, pulling out about three-quarters of the way before thrusting back inside, hard enough to make his dick flop up against his stomach. His ears were twitching and he was making this noise halfway between a gasp and a moan. I swear, bunnies will all but purr if you lay a thick one like mine up their ass.

The countryside flew by out the window while I nailed Dutch. Cars that we passed on the freeway looked like they weren't moving at all. I caught myself wishing we would pass through a station or two, so someone on the platform might catch a glimpse. They wouldn't see much. It would be like one frame, otter balls deep in a bunny, spliced into a film reel. And just like that, they'd be hard, without any idea why.

As small a space as it was, the compartment stank of sex within moments. Hawk was shifting back and forth in the seat next to us, chirring softly to himself. "Make sure you hold the camera steady, bird. I can see how much you want to stroke yourself. Don't worry, you'll have your turn, too. Dutch is about to cum, aren't you, rabbit?" I reached around and tugged his sack. He groaned, and I felt his asshole clench around me. "Oh yeah, you're real close. Well in that case..." Bending my knees, I hooked my arms behind the rabbit's knees and pulled up so he was propped up just on my cock. I got him to grab on to a railing that ran across the ceiling and then went to town on his ass. There was no shutting him up now, but at that point I didn't care if the conductor heard. I wanted the guy driving the train to know how my cock felt, and Dutch was telling anyone within earshot.

When I knew he'd had his fill, I pulled him all the way down onto my shaft, and let him shoot all over the window. His hole pulled tight around my cock, but with the help of my cockring, I was able to keep from spilling inside him. The bunny was out of breath by then, just sucking in air while his dick bounced around and around, slinging his load onto the glass. It looked like splatter art when he was finished, like someone had taken a paint brush and thrown white paint at the window.

After he was done, I deposited him into a seat and handed him my phone. "Don't go to sleep on me. It's your turn to be cameraboy."

Hawk was already up and waiting. I pushed him back against the window, and got up close to him, grinding my cock against his. Mine was red and throbbing, veings popping out all along my length. His was wet with pre, and I could feel how tense he was as I slid against him.

"Have you been a good bird?" I said.

He nodded. His sack was drawn up tight inside his panties, his downy balls tingling against mine.

"Do you want to cum?"

He nodded again, chirping when I started fondling his balls through the blue lace.

"Tell me, did you like it when the rabbit was sucking your dick? Hmmm?"

I squeezed his sack until he squawked a yes.

"Would you like him to keep doing it? Yes you would. Ah ah, but you also want me to fuck you, I know. Well there's no reason we can't do both. You," I said to Dutch, "give me the camera back and get on your knees. I actually think this'll make for a nice point-of-view scene anyway."

Reaching back, I undid the strap that goes over my tail and let my pants fall to the floor. Then I spun the hawk around and pulled him away from the window, tugging his panties down and nestling my cock under his tailfeathers. His back was sticky after being pressed against the window, translucent flecks of white spotting his black plumage. As I bent him over, I leaned down and pressed my tongue to the base of his spine, dragging it up to the back of his neck through his feathers. Mmmm, bunny tastes so sweet. "You ready down there, bitch?" There was a muffled sound from the floor. "Then start sucking."

I went slow while Dutch went down on the bird. Slow enough that the rabbit wouldn't choke when I thrust forward. Slow enough to keep my arm steady, so the camera wouldn't shake and lose focus on my meat gliding between Hawk's supple cheeks. Slow enough to make the bird chirp constantly, wishing I would fuck him harder.

For a few minutes at a time, I held my phone out to the side to get an angle on Dutch. I got some nice shots of his technique. How he went all the way down and held there, with his tongue extended to lap at the bird's balls; how he'd pull back and give the tip a swirl before taking the plunge once more. His ears were up and twitching, just wiggling all the while as if they wanted some action, too.

Once Hawk started breathing hard and his legs began to shake so much I thought he might collapse, I pulled out to just the tip, leaving my knob in there to keep his hole stretched wide. I leaned over and rested my chin on his shoulder, but by that point I had run out of lines; I just wanted to watch. He squawked in protest when I reached around and put my palm on Dutch's forehead. Holding my phone level with Hawk's hip, I grabbed the bunny's ears and wrapped them around the bird's cock, rubbing that velveteen fur down his length while I drove myself in to the hilt.

The hawk sang like a raptor never should. He doused Dutch's ears while I pumped his cock, bird seed soaking into them and slipping down into the rabbit's hair. What didn't end up on the rabbit landed on the window, spurting past his head to splatter against the glass. Hawk's ass clamped down around my cock, tensing on tempo with his orgasm, like waves breaking against the levee, threatening to crash over. I was able to grit my teeth and get through it, but the leather was starting to hurt, digging into my swollen length.

Weak in the knees, the bird collapsed into a seat once he was spent, tongue hanging out the side of his beak.

I advanced on Dutch.

The rabbit was still on his knees, and thinking he knew what came next, had opened his mouth.

I pointed the camera at his face and plopped the tip of my rod down on top of his short snout, saying, "Nah, you haven't earned that yet. Close your eyes." With a grunt, I unfastened the cock-ring.

My hand was a blur as the black fur on the rabbit's face was gradually obscured. Thick lobs of cum sprang from my shaft, caroming across the bunny's features, coating his face, hair, and ears in a lattice of white. The first few shots cleared his head completely, passing between his ears and coming to rest on the window, mingling with the remnants of Hawk's load, and the rabbit's before that. My tail swished through the air behind me while my balls emptied themselves, my aim getting worse and worse while I slathered the glass and the rabbit and everything in between. I tightened my grip on my dick near the end, milking every last drop of my load out onto Dutch's face. Grabbing one of his ears, I wiped the last few drops off and sat down to admire my work.

The compartment window was streaked with the results of three different cumshots, and the combined scent was enough to make my nostrils flare. Jizz was dripping down the glass, but if you looked at it just right, you could see the vague outline of a head with two big ears. If that's not hotter than leaving a load on a tray table, then I can't swim. I got a nice closeup of our finished product and then hit the button to stop recording.

Dutch had taken the seat next to Hawk and was clearing the cum off his eyelids with his fingers. It would take more than that for him to get clean, though. The rest had caked into the fur on his face and ears.

"You can consider this your audition tape, bunny," I said. "Congratulations. You got the part."

He blinked while I stuffed my dick back into my jock and pulled my pants back on. Hawk sat there, eyeing the rabbit with a look I would describe as hungry.

"We can draw up your contract once we get back to my flat." I checked the time on my phone and looked at the window again. You almost couldn't see outside, but I could just make out the London skyline creeping into view. Cum was dripping onto the wall now. I wondered if it would stain. It was tempting to just leave it all there. To watch people on the platform gather round to get a look. That's really a raccoon move, though, letting someone else clean up your mess.

"I'm heading back to our other seats," I said. "You two clean this up. You can only use your mouths. I'll know."

And then I got up and left the compartment without another word.

The viewers online don't know the difference anyway. That's still the most watched video on my site.