FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Within Escada - Prologue - Acceptance and Understanding

========

Here is the first small step in for the series. It's very unpolished, and to fix it would end up having me change alot of it along with some really bad formatting issues in the original file. So that's how it'll stay.

========

*Warning - Adult Content* Contains homosexual characters and themes.

********

"I just can't Mark..." Wolfe, awake now from his father's statement being almost inaudible but easily heard, could now hear his dad sobbing in his office down stairs. Being a wolf had its advantages but in this instance Wolfe hated it. "I don't think I could ever muster enough courage to tell him. I'm afraid Wolfe will... I can't even describe how he could feel." Wolfe slowly rose up from his bed. As he slipped open his door to the hallway trying his best to keep his balance, he moved stealthily toward the top of the stairs.

"You don't have any real idea what it has been like since it happened. I don't want him to feel that he cannot ever speak to me yet alone look at me again. But, of all the people in the world he is the one I want to let know about..." Wolfe was now standing in the doorway to the office, puzzled at what was turning his dad into a huddled mass on the floor. "Wolfe? I thought..." "Dad what's going on? It's two in the morning." "I...," his dad nearly letting down his composure and dropping the phone, quickly picking it up, "Mark, would you come over? It's... Yeah... Okay, see you soon."

Wolfe, still puzzled at why this whole situation was going on as his dad hung up the phone, "Dad?" His dad now broke into tears, turning away from Wolfe to hide himself, embarrassed that he was crying. "Come on Dad, what's going on?" His dad continued to cry. Wolfe now went to his dad trying to pick him up off of the ground and settle him up on his feet. "Dad?" He pulled him toward the living room, nearly tearing up himself, as he could not understand why his father was so distraught.

After sitting his dad on the couch he ran to the kitchen, pulling out a towel from one of the drawers and soaking it in cold water. He quickly trotted to the living room, his dad now curled in on himself. Wolfe began to approach his dad lifting him up by his muzzle to look at his face. "Dad! Please stop!" He barked angrily. With that his dad was silent. Wolfe now began to clean his dad's face with the towel. Clearing away the tears from the sides of his father's muzzle, he could have never believed that such a large wolf could turn into such a quivering pup. His dad was always strong, never showing any distress or any really negative emotions, but whatever it was that was bothering him had completely crushed him.

Wolfe, having finished cleaning of his dad's fur, now cleared off a tear from his own muzzle. He threw the towel to the coffee table and then turned to his dad, looking into his deep blue-grey eyes and saying nothing. Wolfe realized how much he too shared those same eyes. He sighed and pulled his dad in for a hug, feeling it was the only thing he could really do since he was afraid saying anything would upset him. He nuzzled his head to his father's chest and just held tight, soon feeling his dad fall on him with just as much emphasis.

They sat there for a few minutes until a knock startled them from where they were. Wolfe sat up, knowing exactly who it was, and went to open the door. "Hey Mark... I guess you should just come in." "Yeah..." Mark just looked at the ground, not wanting to make eye contact. He proceeded to sit next to his dad after shutting the door, wondering just what was going on. Mark sighed, "Jacob... Are you ok?" "Yeah... I just... I'm..." "Afraid? Well... That's why I told you I would be here to support you." Wolfe was now absolutely lost. What ever it possibly could be that was putting so much turmoil into the situation was serious. "I know Mark..." Jacob looked toward his son, "I only am concerned about what it may do to him." Wolfe perked his ears and turned his head. "Well Jacob, you have to start somewhere." "Son?" "Yeah Dad?" "I'm going to start from the beginning so to speak. Are you okay with staying up?" "I guess. I just want to find out why this whole thing is happening and what you want to tell me so badly." "Okay. Now save your questions till the end." "That's fine Dad. Just start already." Mark got up and moved toward Jacob and put a paw on his back, "Go ahead now."

"It was about six months ago, shortly after I broke up with Denise. Mark and I had just finished closing a deal with a trading company in Thailand and it was already late. We both didn't really want to drive home, so we just decided to stay in the office and sleep on the floor..." Jacob went on to describe how they spent nearly all night talking about a broad range of topics. They had been close friends since high school, through college, and even as business partners well into their adult lives.

It was that night that Mark came out to Jacob about his sexuality as they lay there on the floor. Jacob had asked why Mark had been alone for so long which eventually lead to his confession. Mark had been with women but said he never truly felt connected to them, and there was only one person he felt, even if it was not shared, he truly loved, Jacob.

Jacob was shocked at first of the fact that his friend could feel this way toward him. "Well... How long have you... Loved me?" "Since we graduated from college, that's about nineteen years this next June." "Even though I was married to Anita?" "Yeah... But you two were so happy, and then when Wolfe was born... I couldn't really... You know what I'm trying to say, right?"

Jacob just looked at Mark trying to put everything together. He loved him like a brother, but as a lover... Jacob just had no answer to really give. "Mark, I... Well..." "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have... Damn it." "Mark, are you gay?" "Not like a flamer. I find other male furs attractive, but I look past the sex thing and view the individual. In short though... I can say yes, I am gay." "So you see it as this. 'Love is not about the sex, it is about who makes you feel complete... Again.'"

Jacob looked away from Mark, hoping that he could not hear the last part hemuttered under his breath. "Yeah that's how I see it." Jacob sighed in relief. "I need a break. Can we go outside?" Mark silently agreed and got up from where he sat, Jacob leading the way to the roof access stairs. Jacob opened the door at the top and proceeded to the railing, pulling out a cigarette and a lighter. Mark propped the door enough to leave it open so they could return through it.

"So then... We have been friends for so long now." Mark was now growing worried, hoping his worst fears were not about to be realized. "We tell each other everything... I could understand why you never wanted to tell me this since I was married to Anita. You being gay would never have really bothered me, but..." "Please Jacob... Don't let this affect our relationship as business partners, let alone friends." Jacob paused and put out his cigarette, in secret since he broke up with Denise he had taken to viewing himself as bisexual. He found some pleasure in the thought of another male and what it could be like.

Mark had never settled down and had a family so that would be one hurdle that would not be there. Another question began to stir within Jacob both out of curiosity and concern. "Am I the only one who knows?" "My brother knows, he took it better than I thought." "Have you ever... Been with another guy?" "For as long as I have come to accept that I'm gay I never had the desire to seek out someone." Jacob looked at Mark who, for a lion of course, he couldn't help but did attractive. He looked out over the city as he turned back to the railing, he found Mark attractive but he had always just sneaked glances at him in the office or at the gym. 'Do I feel the same as he does?' Jacob thought. 'I love him like a brother, but maybe I too share how he feels toward me.'

"Jacob?" Mark was now beside him at the railing. "Mark... Could you... Have you ever felt that you could see through someone's eyes and feel the same way?" "You mean like how I feel about you?" "What if I told you that I may share it with you?" Mark was a bit confused at first but could figure out what Jacob was trying to say. "Can I tell you something Mark?" "Go ahead."

Jacob explained to Mark how after he broke up with Denise he found himself interested in males, he even told him how he would fantasize about being with Mark. Jacob was amazingly calm as he told Mark just about everything that would show that he too was sitting in the same boat.

"So I guess that's really it." He sighed upon finishing. Mark just looked over the skyline one last time before turning to Jacob. "It makes you feel a little better huh?" "What?" "To tell someone, it only leaves one question for me to ask then." Jacob stood silent, only moving his hair aside from a breeze that came across the roof. With it he could smell Mark's natural musk, being pleasant and some how comforting. "So are you gay?" Jacob continued to stand silently and then gazed into Mark's deep green eyes.

Without hesitation, Jacob put his arms around Mark and pulled himself to his chest as he took a deep breath and remained silent. Mark only paused for a second and then wrapped his arm around Jacob in an equal embrace, setting his muzzle on his shoulder. "Why is it that because I feel so strongly towards another male that I'm gay? So what? I guess I am but it doesn't mean that I am a specific word. Like I said, 'It's about who makes you feel complete, again.'" Jacob began to cry as he found himself burrowing into Mark's mane.

"So what does this mean?" Jacob stopped crying and pulled away from Mark enough to look into his eyes. It only took one motion and with it he brought his muzzle towards Mark's and kissed him. With as much emphasis as Jacob, Mark pressed his maw into him and they were now locked in passion holding while each other. Both of them felt a weight lifted, they had found someone who cared for the other so deeply, each other.

As they broke away from each other, still within one another's arms, Jacob took a deep and finally put his courage to full use. "I love you Mark. More than like brothers and more than like good friends. We have been so close for more than half of our lives, besides, if I could chose anyone to be with in the world... I would pick you... And ask if you would be... My mate." Mark could only tear up and stare at Jacob, gazing at the wolf with contentment in his eyes. "I love you too Jacob. I couldn't say or ask the same thing better than you did." They kissed each other one more time, but with twice as much passion, and stood their staring into each other eyes, then turned to gaze at the sunrise along the skyline.

Wolfe sat silently on the couch as his dad finished. It made sense to him now as to why Mark was around so much. Mark was a really nice guy and cool in Wolfe's opinion, but now he knew why he was always around, he was his dad's mate. Wolfe thought for a moment of what his dad had been hurting so badly to tell him. With all that had been going on it was hard to take in, but there was no way of denying it.

"So all of what happened tonight was because you we're afraid to tell me you were gay?" "Yes... Wolfe?" "Yeah?" "I will always be your dad, being gay will never change that." "Dad... I don't care... As long as you're happy and with someone who cares for you for who you are then what am I to tell you?" Jacob sat in silence, Wolfe then turned to Mark. "Do you really love my dad?" "With all of my heart." "They say that love is indefinable, no mention of whom it is between or what it feels like. It is so many things built into one that it becomes indescribable... And yet... It has a certain beauty to it."

Jacob and Mark couldn't help but smile as Wolfe stood up from the couch and stretched. "So you're okay with the fact that I'm gay? Is it the same with Mark?" Jacob said, now being just concerned with the situation. "Dad... If you're happy than it's cool. Besides, I'm not a homophobe. Remember that Scott's gay too and we have been friends since kindergarten." He looked at Mark, "I always had a slight suspicion you know. I saw you eyeing my dad yesterday when we got out of the pool." "Oh... Yeah... I couldn't really help that." "It's ok I guess," he paused for a moment, "but I do have one objection." "What's that Wolfe?" Jacob looked at Wolfe completely confused. "If Mark is going to be around more, especially at night, it would be nice if it didn't sound like there was a motor boat outside my door with all of that purring." He threw a glare at Mark. "Is it that loud?" Mark, now completely embarrassed, started running blood red under his fur. "Yeah, so keep it down." Wolfe chuckled.

Jacob quickly stood up and went over to Wolfe. Wolfe looked up to his dad, although he was nearly full grown his dad towered over him. "So you're okay with this?" "Dad, I'm still your son." Jacob just pulled Wolfe into a hug; he could never truly understand why Wolfe was so relaxed with everything. He had always looked at the whole picture and thought about everything logically, always being a strong individual. "All right now, I'm tired. Don't you two stay up late." Jacob and Mark just stood quietly and agreed with Wolfe as he made his way up stairs. Once he got to the top he turned. "Good night guys," and with that he proceeded to his room, closing the door.

Mark moved behind Jacob, taking one of his paws and stood silently. "I'm glad I told him now... I just hope he could really handle it." "I think he did. But only time will tell. He did have to hear a lot and it is hard for anyone to hear it." Jacob turned to face Mark and put his arms around him. "Thank you Mark. I love you." "I love you too." They kissed lightly and let go of one another. Mark scratched his neck, "Well what now?" "I'm exhausted. Do you want to sit here on the couch and watch television until we pass out?" "That's fine by me." The two sat on the couch, flipping through the channels until they found something interesting and then got close. Jacob resting himself against Mark who was holding his hand. Eventually the two fell asleep in a warm embrace, relaxed and at peace.

---

Wolfe shut the door to his room and crawled into bed as his mind was continuing to race at a hundred miles per hour. 'Why couldn't I work up the courage to do the same thing? I feel the same way. Even I have taken a liking to guys. Not for the sex but for the emotional aspect, even though the sex part sounds like fun... But, besides the point, I know where he was coming from, the courage to do it though is not there.' Wolfe began to cry. 'Why can't I say it too...' Eventually, Wolfe fell asleep amongst his tears, continuing the fight within himself.

********

Be on the look out for the next chapter of Within Escada, Chapter 1 - The Beginning of One More Year.

Wolfe Dimitrivich Escada

======

All characters, structure, scenario, and plot © 2010, 2013 Wolfe Dimitrivich Escada aka XenailShadow

All artists, music, brand names, company names, slogans, registers, and trademarks are copyright to their respective entities and used only to enhance the story.

The majority of the story is purely fictitious and is not to be taken into account in the event of coincidental reality.

V 1.11