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The Emperor's eyes appeared black; his expression listless, and his body rigid as if he were carved from marble--Sayrea blinked just to confirm that she was truly awake--he stared as if he didn't see her, as if he stared through her, beyond her, as he leaned against the ornate footboard of her bed. The room felt slightly damp and murky, and Sayrea noticed that the balcony windows were opened wide, which let in cold morning fog; Sayrea could hear as Enerin breathed calmly beside her. She scooted upright and Alirik's eyes darted to her; he still appeared detached, and the voice that emerged from him was monotonous and still. "Why now? Of all times to do this . . . why now?"

Sayrea felt her brow furrow with confusion, though Alirik continued. "No one told me you had a lover; had I known I would have dealt with this differently." He brought a paw up to his brow as he closed his eyes in mental anguish.

Sayrea's paw gripped Enerin's, but he slept on. "How did you get in? I thought you said that there were no secret passageways into this room." Her own voice sounded coarse and dry, and she licked her lips nervously as Alirik ran a paw through his hair.

"I told you these rooms were for royalty, whatever passageways that are here, are accessible only to them." His paw left his hair and he brought it back to rest against the footboard; he kept his head down as he leaned against it and continued. "Guards will take your lover away for a while . . ."

Sayrea's grip on Enerin's arm tightened, and still he did not stir as she protested. "I blocked all the doors . . ."

"You still do not understand. This is my home; you can not keep me from it. I come and go as I please, as I have done so since I could escape my first nursemaid. I rule this palace and this country; when I say that guards will take your lover away, I mean those words." He gripped the edge of the bed in apparent frustration before he continued as Sayrea noticed guards positioned by the balcony. "I came here to check on you after your maids came to me in a tizzy to tell me you dammed yourself up in here. I figured you wanted to be alone so I came when I thought you would be asleep. I noticed the balcony windows were open and I wanted to close them--with the storm rolling in and all--then I saw you . . . and him." Alirik motioned with his down-turned head toward Enerin's sleeping form. "The rules of this land must be upheld. I will not let everything my father and grandfather worked for fall because of my feelings for you." He looked up and into her eyes. "Guards will take your lover and tomorrow will decide everything." As he spoke, the guards began to move toward the bed--and that was when Enerin moved.

"What's to say I'll go quietly?" Enerin said as his body jerked to life, every muscle poised to spring away.

"Why do you think I care?" Alirik retorted and Enerin paled slightly as the two large ermine guards set themselves on him; he struggled slightly, but the militarily trained prowess of the guards was too much for an overworked farmhand, and he relented. Sayrea simply sat still, too dumbfounded by the moment; her eyes flicked from Enerin to Alirik as if she were watching a dramatic play.

Once Enerin had been restrained, he looked up desperately at Sayrea and mumbled something under his breath; when Sayrea gave no response he spoke again; his voice was slightly bitter. "Why did you ask me to come here if this was what was going to happen to me?"

Sayrea blinked in confusion then asked, "Ask you? I never asked you to come here?"

Enerin flashed her a look of a mixture of pain, anger, and understanding. "You didn't write me the letter did you?"

"Letter?" She stared at Enerin in hopeless confusion then looked to Alirik with strained hope; he nodded solemnly and she scooted to the edge of the bed and slid off so she was eye to eye with the wolf. "What letter?"

"I brought it with me. It's in my jacket." He motioned to it with his muzzle and she went to get it, she rifled through the pockets until she found it and read it over. She had to get a light so she could look at it clearly, and when she did her heart skipped a beat. Sayrea herself hadn't written it, but it looked as if she did; well that was only half true, it was as if she had used her best penmanship, even in some cases better than her own.

"When did you get this?" She asked as she held the paper toward Enerin accusingly.

"Well until now I thought you sent it to me."

Sayrea looked at the letter then back to Enerin, then back to the letter in disbelief. "Granted I can see how you would think it's my writing, but this doesn't even sound like me. I barely sound like I know you." She then looked up with a face full of injured anger. "Did you come here because you thought you could get laid?"

"What?" Enerin said with a voice that dripped with injured fear. "I came because you told me to. You told me that you needed me, that you wanted me."

"I read it too, but that must have been the only part you read, because this isn't me."

Enerin hung his head in defeat, "I thought that might be the case. I just didn't want to risk it either way. I figured it'd be best to come here and make sure, worst case I thought you'd just sneak me back out, not that I'd get arrested."

"Why because someone, who doesn't sound like me, but sort of writes like me tells you it'll be okay?"

"Well shit, I thought you loved me okay. How was I supposed to know? You told me to come so I did, doesn't that at least say something?"

"It does . . . but how could you be so stupid? Was that why you lost my dowery too?"

Enerin looked shocked, then embarrassed and looked away from Sayrea's gaze as he grumbled, "We all make mistakes, I do my best."

"Well if you both are finished . . ." Alirik interjected and both Sayrea and Enerin turned toward him as if he had just materialized into the room. "The guards will take him away, and tomorrow things will be decided."

"What does that mean?" Sayrea said with near pained frustration at Alirik's crypticness.

"To be blunt, it means that tomorrow you will go out to a garden in which stand three covered archways, and whichever one you select, will determine once and for all what will happen in this little threesome we seem to be in."

"What will happen? What are my options?"

"There's no need to worry you needlessly, I will tell you in the gardens tomorrow." Alirik motioned to the guards and they lead Enerin away, who went limp and simply allowed his body to be dragged off in defeat.

Sayrea watched in solemn resignation and she was left alone with the Emperor. He stood next to her and held her shoulders in a way that she was sure was intended for comfort, but delivered none as he whispered gently to her. "I really am sorry, but if the people were to find out that I let him go, and ignored traditions, I would loose their respect, and everything that my family has worked so hard for would be gone. If anyone were to learn of it," He shook his head firmly. "I will not be the one to bring all the hard work of my forefathers to ruins." He patted her once, then left the room.

All Sayrea could do was stand stock still, her body tense and stiff with nerves. She felt her jaw drop of its own accord as she felt her knees buckle slightly and she slumped with shock. Then she heard a familiar voice.

"Wow, you sure did pick a bad time to follow my advice." Vartouhi purred as she strolled into the room.

"Vartouhi " Sayrea screeched as her heart thumped in her chest. "What are you doing here? Get out!"

The ocelot looked alarmed, though slightly bemused and she batted her eyes innocently. "Believe me sweetie, even if I was here to hurt you--which I'm not--you've done better damage on your own than I ever could." She swished her tail slowly and almost indignantly.

"Get out " Sayrea screeched again as she began to feel strength surge through her legs. "Guards "

Vartouhi laughed softly, and covered her mouth mockingly as she did so. "You think anyone will come for you now? You really don't know what you did do you?"

Sayrea gave a slacked-jawed look as her reply so Vartouhi continued as she sauntered in her direction. "When you began plans for the mating ceremony, you went into a verbal contract with the Emperor, and by playing with an old flame you broke the contract." She glanced back at the door then down to Sayrea, who eyes were still locked on the door.

"This is all because of some verbal agreement I knew nothing about?"

"Rough isn't it." She retorted, with cold disdain. Sayrea felt tears well in her eyes as Vartouhi continued, "Shame it took Enerin so long to get here. I can see why you like him though; they aren't the brightest, but those farm boys sure do come in big sizes."

"What do you mean that it took him so long to get here?" Sayrea jerked her head up to the ocelot who wore a sickly contented grin. "You wrote the letter?" She practically whispered, her eyes wide and full of tears that now burned with anger.

Vartouhi batted her eyes. "Well I can guarantee it wasn't the Emperor; he looked pretty shook up over seeing you and your lover in bed together."

She blinked the tears back and mouthed, "Why?"

Vartouhi stared back with wide, shocked eyes. "You really don't understand, do you?" She blinked and cocked her head as she rolled her eyes; her shoulders slumped and she seemed both perturbed and slightly annoyed. "Well, I guess if you really need me to explain it all." She said as she turned and began to walk back toward the door; she gave a cursory glance outside before she closed the door and turned back to face Sayrea. "I brought Enerin here as a gift for you."

Sayrea's body sagged with shock. "What?" She squeaked.

"Since you were so persistent on not taking my advice; I knew once the Emperor had you where he wanted you, it wouldn't be much longer before he did what he needed most." Vartouhi began as she crossed her arms under her breasts and leaned her shoulder back against the wall. "I figured if anyone could heal the damage that the Emperor has been known to inflict on his 'pet of the moment', it would be your secret lover." Vartouhi made a discontented grin and added, "How was I to know that you'd be stupid enough to accept the Emperor's proposal before he got here?"

Sayrea struggled to her feet as tears fell freely from her eyes. "Everything you've ever done to me, has made the situation worse." She forced between sobs and choked back anger. "Why didn't you just leave me alone?"

"I wanted to help you."

Sayrea grabbed her hair as she screeched, "You're psychotic!"

Vartouhi swished her tail and rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't be so dramatic."

Sayrea screamed and lunged at Vartouhi, and for a quick moment she had her pined to the wall, until the ocelot gripped her shoulders and spun her around until it was Sayrea who was pinned to the wall; Vartouhi's paw around her throat, the other around Sayrea's free wrist as her back trapped the other behind her at an uncomfortable angle. Vartouhi gripped her tightly which elicited a gurgle and a frightened look from Sayrea. "Listen here stupid bitch." Vartouhi said, her voice a mixture of annoyance and mild amusement. "I'm probably the only creature here who actually wants to help you, okay? I didn't need to do anything, but when I saw you that first time, I knew the Emperor would break you." She said as she relaxed her grip around Sayrea's throat slightly and continued. "He likes to break the weak ones, and you my pampered pet, are just his type."

"And what does that make you?" Sayrea whispered with effort.

"The Emperor likes a challenge, I seem to be the epitome of that don't you think?" Vartouhi swished her tail and continued without waiting for a reply. "All those women that you met, back at the bower, they're just like you--well they were before the Emperor got to them. I watched them all fall and crumble; they're all afraid of him. He takes what he wants from them, then showers them with gifts to keep them complacent, to desire the next onslaught of his own vices. He's done it to you already, and no matter how guilty he feels, no matter how many gifts, or servants, or rooms he gives you, he'll still do it to you until you wind up like those women in the bower--broken empty shells too lifeless to save themselves. He is the Emperor after all, he does whatever he wants." She relaxed her grip further as she continued. "When I saw you, I wanted to help, and I'm not afraid of the Emperor; he's just as much my plaything as I am his."

"Why didn't you just say that?"

"I did what I thought was best, you live and learn."

"You really are crazy aren't you."

"Look Sweetie, you have two choices when living here: Either be like those bower ghosts, or you make yourself strong like me. If you stay here, I'll help you, but it's the last time I offer, I'm tired of you ignoring my advice."

"What do you mean if I stay here?" Sayrea said as Vartouhi let her go, she rubbed the arm that had been pinned behind her.

"The Emperor wants to tell you, so be it. He's bound to traditions just as strongly as his vices, and I know when not to push his buttons." She turned and went to the door; she held it open for a moment and with a slight glance over her shoulder she added. "You take care of yourself, you've got a big day ahead of you tomorrow." Sayrea saw a glint of sadness in the ocelot's eyes before she turned and left as she closed the door behind her.

Sayrea stood alone in her room as she slowly rubbed life back into her body, but she still felt numb, then Willa rushed into the room, she had been crying very recently and she grabbed Sayrea's paws. "I'm so sorry, Vartouhi had me tied to my bed and my doors locked. She said the Emperor caught you and another male together . . . did you really do that?"

Sayrea looked away and Willa brought her paws quickly to her mouth as she gasped. "Oh dear!" She then patted Sayrea's paw and she added, "There's nothing to be done now. Why don't you get into bed and I'll have some tea brought up for you to calm your nerves?" As Willa spoke a handful of maids filled the room and began to put the room back in order.

Sayrea didn't really know what to do, her entire body felt numb and as much as she wanted to move, she didn't. Everything felt pointless and stupid, and all she could think of was how much she had gained and lost in a few handfuls of moments that she felt her soul begin to burst--and still she was expected to go on. She didn't want to, but she was at a loss of what else to do. Stoically Sayrea took Willa's paw and was lead to her bed; it was still warm from the heat of the nights liaison, and as she snuggled into the covers she smelled the sent of Enerin fresh on her sheets. She felt a few tears slide down her cheeks, but she let them fall; it didn't matter if she cried, it didn't matter what happened--her future had gone from something practically etched in stone, to a haze of uncertainty, and her body shivered at the thought of it.

A couple of deep breaths kept her tears at bay and she sighed to herself as the maids busied themselves with removing the draft that the opened windows had allowed in, and with a bedwarmer nestled into her sheets, Sayrea began to feel the chill leek from her. Afterward a pot of tea was brought to her bedside and she forced herself to sit upright and took the offered cup from Willa's paws. She sipped slowly; the water almost too hot for her, but she endured and soon her mouth adjusted to the beverage.

Willa stood by her side as the maids began to clear out of her room and once they were gone Sayrea set her empty teacup down and turned to her maid. "How badly have I messed things up?"

She saw Willa's fur bristle but the ermine remained calm; she twitched her whiskers and looked squarely at Sayrea. "The fault is not yours alone." Sayrea cocked her head as Willa continued, "No one knew you had a lover. It was only you and Vartouhi it seems, had the Emperor known." Willa paused as she rubbed her paws together nervously. "He had been informed of a potential rival, and even that he had courted you discretely after his dowery was lost, but there seemed to be no partiality on your side, and he gave up so he was written of as unimportant."

Sayrea stared at Willa openmouthed and managed, "How did they . . . How did you know that?"

"The Emperor has all potential mates watched, and my entire family has been employed by the Empire since the beginning."

With a heavy sigh Sayrea leaned back against the pillows as she held out her cup to Willa, who filled it. Sayrea clutched the teacup with both paws, the warmth of the cup slightly scorched her pawpads, but she kept it to her and hovered over it as if it were some precious treasure, as she blew across the top to cool the drink. She felt slightly nauseous and took a sip of tea as her head spun slightly. She felt as if she were just some pawn in a game, some creature created for the amusement and revelry of others destined to have none of her own.

Her entire life she had broken rules and now here she was with the one secret she had actually managed to keep was the one she wished had been revealed. She didn't know what to make of herself or her life anymore, and she was beginning to think that she'd never really had control over it. Sayrea took a final sip of tea, and put it aside as she choked back the embittered sadness that threatened to take over her--everyone only used her for their own needs, regardless of her own; that's how it was and how it always had been. The tears began anew and trickled slowly down her face as she brought her knees up to her chest; she wrapped her arms around and rested her head atop them, and the tears flew faster. She sniffed back deeper weeping and Willa patted her back gently, but Sayrea did not want to be consoled; there was no solace for no one would tell her what awaited, and a part of her didn't even want to know that. She simply wanted to fall asleep and never wake up, though as she huddled in bed with Willa patiently by her side, sleep had gone to the excitement of the morning and her nerves were far too tense to give way to sleep. Her mind was a fog of worry, of dread, a torrent of thoughts on what awaited and she silently berated herself for allowing herself to succumb to worrying about problems she did not have yet and she took in breaths to calm herself as she let every thought go; they didn't matter, there was nothing she could do, and every time she had done something it had been wrong--more often than not horribly wrong--so she let it all go, and slowly the tears ceased to fall and her breath came steady, and finely her mind went blank.

Sayrea sat that way long past the afternoon until at Willa's plea she got out of bed and took a turn about the room to get the stiffness out of her legs. When the needle-pricking tingle of her numb limbs returned to normal she returned to bed as a light fare of soup, bread, and berries were brought up. She took little of the soup and the bread felt like lumps of lead in her stomach; there was more tea for lunch and at Willa's insistence she drank two full glasses. Sayrea returned to her former position when she refused to eat any further and Willa pulled a stool up to Sayrea's bed and continued to stay by her side, she didn't really acknowledge her maid's presence but made no attempt to ask her to leave. The two sat until the sun began to set and Willa rose to light candles; Sayrea's glance remained ahead and she stared at the flickering flames of the candles. Her gaze danced with the flame as she lost herself in its motion, and faster than she would have guessed the candle had withered to a stub and it was morning. Her eyes felt dry and sore, and she silently prayed for the tears of the day before, but no relief came and soon Sayrea felt Willa's paw on her leg, and she stiffly moved her body off the bed and willed her sore frame to move. Once she could walk freely, Willa lead her to the bath and when she was clean and dry, her fur was brushed and oiled with sweetpea, lavender, and violet, and she was dressed in a light grey-green dress, with a simply embroidered dusty fern-green bodice over; her hair hung loose and slightly spiraled, entirely free of adornments. When Willa was finished there was a knock at her door and Sayrea's heart instantly jumped into her throat as guards entered her room. Their faces were friendly but solemn, and as she was beckoned Sayrea left her spot by the mirror and followed the guards as they led her down the hallways and out of the palace.

The morning was brisk and a slight zephyr lightly tousled her fur and hair as she followed the guards toward a garden in which she could see the tops of stone pillars draped with thick violet curtains between perfectly curved archways. As they neared them Sayrea could see that Alirik and a short ermine with a long feathered quill and scroll paper in paw, waited for her. The garden was surrounded by a shoulder high wall covered on both sides in thick wisteria vines. Alirik's face was dull and almost indifferent as he held out a velvety white paw to her and lead her into the garden with the guards and scribe in toe.

When they stood before the archways Alirik turned to her and held her gently by the shoulders as he spoke. "Behind one of these archways is the necklace I gave you, another awaits a dagger, and one holds a lock of your lover's hair. If you choose the necklace, you stay here with me and your lover leaves this country, never to return again. If the lock of his hair you find, you leave with him and I shall pursue you no more. If it is the dagger you discover then your lover will be put to death and you are free, to stay here with me or leave if you wish. My scribe is here to record your selection for the record books, and should anyone ask it shall show that the matter was dealt with--privately."

Sayrea stared at Alirik, and realized her mouth was agape only when her jaw began to ache, and she blinked and shook her head--for a moment she thought she dreamt it all, until Alirik turned her toward the archways and pushed her in their direction. She stood and stared up at the curtains. Her legs felt shaky and her knees wobbled as if they might buckle. She turned to Alirik, whose face was somber and empty so she faced the curtains again.

She took a few pawsteps forward and her mind was a fog of thought. Which curtain should she choose? Did it really matter? Was there any point in indulging in anxiety over a future she could not control? Sayrea again turned to look at Alirik, who stood tall, like a flawless marble statue; his face unchanged and his eyes motionless revealing no hint or help, and she turned back to face the thick violet curtains. Her heart wildly beat within her chest and her fur stood stiff across every inch of her body, but still she stayed motionless until she felt she could stay static no longer, and with a deep breath she moved to the right. With closed eyes she tentatively reached out until she grasped the fabric of the curtain and hesitated. What would happen? What did she want? She wasn't sure, her faith and love for Enerin had been shattered so many times she didn't know if she could love him after all of this, and what of Alirik? He was more of a mystery now than their first meeting, for now she had so many accounts of his character that she was thoroughly puzzled. Then there was Vartouhi; if she went with Enerin she would be free of that maniacal ocelot and she would never worry about sharing her mate with anyone--well to her knowledge. If she stayed, would she become like Vartouhi, crazed and paranoid with every new wife Alirik brought home--what if he never brought home another wife, what if she were to be his last? Was that even likely--with 47 other wives--probably not, but she knew so little of Alirik's true nature that she couldn't begin to guess why he looked for so many wives, or if Vartouhi's accusations were even remotely correct or simply the ravings of madness. Then what if she selected the option in which she could choose her own fate? Enerin would die, and could she live with the thought that her freedom came at the cost of his life, and freedom for what, to go out and make her way in the world--an option she refused to consider? No if she uncovered the dagger and Enerin died she would stay with Alirik, she simply had nowhere else to go. So what did that leave her with; to either become a crazy self absorbed wife, or a timid week shell? What if Willa was right and it was all just a big misunderstanding? Sayrea bit her lip and tasted the tang of blood in her mouth as she gripped the curtain so tightly she could feel her claws dig into the thick fabric and back into her paws.

She let go of the curtain and backed up a pace as she opened her eyes. Her entire body trembled so violently that she feared she may collapse--she almost wished she would, then maybe she wouldn't have to go through with this nightmare in which she seemed to have found herself. What if she fainted and when she awoke she would be back at home, and it had all been a dream to be forgotten over morning breakfast? She almost verbally berated herself for such a childish fantasy. She knew full well that she was awake and all that stood around her was real. She was no longer a kit, she was grown, until today she had been planing her mating; if anything, she would deal with the future as it came, and whatever fate chose to throw in her path, she would deal with it, she always had in the past, even when she thought the world was crumbling all about her, it never did--and maybe it never would, no matter how much she wished it to--and why would she want the world to end, just so she wouldn't have to deal with problems? Her life was a never-ending series of problems, pits and mountains of problems, and she just had to deal with it--maybe there was another option she hadn't found; just because those around her had succumb to wretched fates didn't mean she must follow in their pawprints. All her life, whatever she had truly wanted she had taken, even though she had done many if not all things in secret, she had still done them--and she had been happy--and wasn't that what she really wanted, happiness? If she didn't want to be like the bower wives, then she wouldn't; if she didn't want to be like Vartouhi, then she wouldn't be that either.

If she stayed with Alirik, he wanted her to leave her traditions behind, he wanted her to study, to converse with him, to have an opinion; so she would leave behind those thoughts; if she went with Enerin she would never be the young female he had courted, much had happened in the few weeks she'd been here, so much could happen in a few weeks, and no matter what, she would figure something out--she always had.

So Sayrea took in a deep breath, and her shoulders relaxed slightly as her tail gave a meek swish. She reached out once again and grasped the curtain firmly, and with one hard tug, she pushed it aside, and as she stared ahead, a tear slid down her cheek; for what lay beyond she would remember for as long as she lived.

The End