Tipping the Velvet
#43 of Hockey Hunk Season 4
Boooyeah.
Hehhey, muffins, and welcome to the Hockey Hunk!
I've got some exciting news today: only 9 days from now, on the 7th of April, The Hockey Hunk turns TWO YEARS OLD! Who could have ever thought that this could be going on, two years and almost 150 chapters later? Wow! Just...wow! But there you go...I am glad that the story still attracts as many readers as it does, and that you keep commenting. That is simply fantastic.
As for how I am planning to commemorate this...well...hold onto your seats, because this is the time that I announce the Hockey Hunk Anniversary Special , which I hope to post on the week after the anniversary...so only three chapters way...though of course, if something strange happens with the plot, it might come out a bit later, so that it fits into the general flow of things...but indeed...you can expect a fun, interesting surprise coming onto us in our future, so stay tuned!
But for now...I think we left Rory and co. into quite the interesting situation...how to deal with that...well...read on and find out! As always, your feedback is appreciated, and I would also like to remind that all votes, faves and watches help others to find these stories to find as well.
Cheers to you all, and have a fun read, everyone!
*
"Bonnie," I gasped.
"OH MY GOODNESS!"
Oh, dear...
"Do you know that shouting woman, Rory?" Cobb's voice slammed into the one ear that wasn't currently blocked from the shrill yell that had just about outed Marge's big baby secret to everyone within earshot, which basically meant, everyone in the shop, and probably the customers at Minnie's Diner on the other side of the street. I had a distinct feeling that my cougarette boss was not too happy about this development.
"Yes," I mumbled, keeping my eyes on the older cougar who was bouncing on some high heels and clapping her paws together and reaching with them to cup Marge's muzzle in the way only mothers could, "that's Marge's mother."
Cobb frowned a little, and a flicked an ear sharply as he gazed at the mysterious woman across the shop floor, rubbing his muzzle thoughtfully with one paw.
"She seems a bit loud..."
"It's probably jet lag," I rumbled. "She flies with American Airlines and sometimes she shows up here out of the blue..."
"HAVE YOU DONE SOMETHING WITH YOUR HAIR?"
Yep.
"Still a bit impolite to be shouting like that," Cobb mumbled. "Especially in front of all the furs."
Oh geezzz, really, Cobb?
Oh well. For once, the drama wasn't on me...Marge could deal with this on her own, I was sure...I had my own to worry about, such as how to deal with a Cobb without blowing all this on my face. And I usually liked facials.
Tehehe.
"Well, do you think your niece might like this, then?" I flipped the book over on my paw again and showed the red cover to Cobb, complete with the goofy drawn images on it.
The Dobie frowned with concentration as he looked at the naïve little drawings, glancing at me and then again at the giggling woman over by the sales counter, and his big paw appeared to rub his muzzle again.
"Well I'm not sure...though I'd prefer she read something sensible and none of that nonsensical crap...like that Twilight everyone's talking about..."
I snuffled.
"Well I don't think that your niece should read that anyway, not at that age," I offered. "I think what we've got here are a bit more suitable..."
"Does that one any magic in it?" Cobb asked, staring suspiciously at the book. "I kinda think she likes some magic, though...she liked the Harry Potter books..."
"I think everyone liked those," I smiled. "Marge says we had a queue all the way to West Street when the last book came out and she held the shop open at midnight so that everyone could get their copy in time."
"I KNOW!" Cobb's ears gave gleeful jumps as he barked out. "Oh my God, I woke up so early to get mine, too, and I almost cried when Dobby died, it was soooo saaaaad...."
Cobb's ears went downhill at record speed even for someone with such quick ears as his, or the Dobies in general, I suppose, and for a moment I wondered if he was actually going to weep for all that residual sadness...well...well only really for a tiny little while, because that'd probably been too much even for THE COBB.
"Heheh..." I mumbled as I turned the book around, "Well, I think this does have magic in it...the blurb does mention an invisible child..."
"Well, kids like scary, as long as it's not too scary..." Cobb mused, "Is an invisible child scary enough without being too scary? Not nightmare scary?"
"We don't stock any too scary books in this section,"I replied. "The scarier ones are in the young adult section..."
"She's just a kid, so I think that'll do, then," Cobb said. "I'll take one of those. Can you get it gift-wrapped?"
My tail bolted between my legs at the mention of my secret nemesis, the wrapping station behind the service counter, but I decided that to maintain any good graces today, I simply had to maintain my best behavior and my best face.
"It's complimentary," I rumbled.
"Great!" Cobb's paw slammed down on my shoulder, and it sounded more like a whip being cracked than a gentle patting on someone. I was a bit surprised that it didn't dislocate my hip again.
"Right...let's...let's go then," I said. "Unless there's something else you'd like to look at."
Oh God, did I just actually encourage Cobb to spend some more time in the store? My tongue seemed to be even faster than I thought...oh, crap...
"Well I already got her that Barbie, and Evelyn keeps telling me not to spoil the kid, so I think that two gifts must be enough...unless there's something you'd especially like to recommend," he gave me a curious look.
No...no...Rory...just now...be selfish, just once...just...
"Well, I think this is great," I waved the little red book, "it's very...unusual..."
"That's great then!" Cobb grinned. "Let's go!"
He didn't pat my shoulder this time, so we simply walked out of the aisle and into the main floor, the red carpet that cut through the different sections of the store, making a sort of on a Y amidst the shelves, and we headed for the service counter, where Marge was still under the rapid-fire interrogation by her mother. Their voices were lower by now, so I could only pick up the general tone in the mumble that was their exchange, but I was sure that Marge wasn't feeling too cheerful at the moment. The baby had been meant to be secret at least until the second trimester, she had explained to me...
"Ohhhh, magazines!" Cobb announced, suddenly, as we were approaching the front of the shop, and his eyes jumped over to the big rack on the left, where our magazines and newspapers section indeed stood, complete with the attractive furs on the covers, some wrapped in shiny plastic for that best effect. "Can I go and take a look while you wrap that up, Rory? I'll come over to pay as soon you're finished...I just wanna take a look if there's something there Victor would like...heheh..."
I didn't even dare to think what kind of magazines Cobb would think that Victor would like to read, and before I let my mind to wander to the fact that we were fresh out of Gym Times, Hunk News and The Extra Gay Muscle Magazine, I cleared my throat and brushed the thought aside.
"Sure, I'll just...call you in when I'm ready," I said.
"Great!" Cobb yelped as he headed for the magazines.
Sigh.
I, armed with the book in my paw, took a gentle turn right and walked over towards the counter, and it did not take long before Bonnie likely caught me in the corner of her eye, because her attentive and eerily Marge-like eyes were quickly turning in my direction.
"Well hello!" the blue-uniformed cougar purred, her tail swaying a number nine behind her while she observed me from eartips to toes.
"Rory, I'm sure you remember my mother," Marge commented between her teeth.
"Of course," I said, "hello, Mrs. Hayes."
"I sure remember you, Rory..." the enchanted elder cougar purred as she offered her paw for me.
I took it gently into my unoccupied paw and gave it the most polite of squeezes. Her purrs only seemed to intensify when she slipped her fingers extra slowly through my soft grip.
"...it's hard to forget someone my Marge keeps talking about all the time..." her lipstick-adorned maw curled into another smile, "sometimes I wonder if you you are the father and not that Gordon boy..."
"Oh let it be, mother," Marge replied from behind the counter, giving us both some sharpish eyes, "you know I'm not Rory's type..."
I almost balked, and probably did a double take, as I kept on smiling politely and tried to creep myself past the mother-of-Marge, so that I could get to the business of putting my horrible wrapping skills into use with this silly book.
"Oh, why not?" Bonnie chortled. "He's definitely your type..."
My cheeks were starting to burn, and I sure hoped that Cobb would be too busy with the magazines so as not to hear the bizarre conversation. I was with my back towards Bonnie at the moment so I couldn't really know how she was looking at me...but once I rounded the counter and tried to squeeze past Marge, I had both of them looking at me. Marge was grinning again.
"Well you know, mother...the main reason why an eligible young man and an eligible young woman can't be together..." Marge stated.
"Because I'm too shallow!" I snapped before Bonnie could open her dangerous muzzle.
Marge's ears jumped, and Bonnie gave me a very curious look. I stopped by my cash register and put the book down to the counter.
"Yeah," I continued as the silence went on, "I'm intimidated by a woman as independent and intelligent as Marge. I kinda like the dumb bimbo type best, frankly."
Oh God, please not let Cobb hear this...or at least not react to this.
"Yeah, I'm sorry, mom," Marge stated, her tail flicking dangerously close to my ankles again," Rory's a bit of a manwhore in that sense, I'm afraid, and I cant' be involved with anyone who has such a loose morale when it comes to relationships..."
"What a shame," Bonnie snuffled. "Such a pretty package..."
Marge stepped closer to me, before I had the chance to turn around and begin wrapping Cobb's present, and then the cougar had her arm around my waist and plastered herself close to my side.
"I do love you though, Rory, even with all your shortcomings," my boobylicious boss purred, giving me some sultry eyes.
"Oh, thank you sweetie," I rumbled, and patted her back a little, for the best effect, as I hoped that this was going to end soon, even if via cyanide, if necessary.
"I wonder what Goggy would think of this...his girlfriend and the future mother of his firstborn child smooching up to a big lion like that," Bonnie stated, observing us keenly.
"How do you know it's his first child, mom?" Marge shot back.
The mother cougar's black-lined eyes seemed to widen at the statement, but I suspected that this was just another barrage in the war of words that had been declared by Bonnie after barging in and spilling Marge's secret. I wondered whether I should be acting surprised now or something, or congratulate her...but everything seemed such a jumble, I didn't even know what to think...or say...or how to act...or how to react...
"You do look good, Bonnie," I said, "I can't even imagine where you're coming from, and still you look so fresh!"
"Oh he's hopeless, isn't he?" Bonnie purred, not sounding very displeased even though I'd just declared myself to be the most shallow woman-chasing bastard in the world.
"Oh he is," Marge added, her voice equally low and impressed.
"Well, Rory, I'm actually coming from the very exciting and exotic Fort Worth," Bonnie replied. "After being suddenly roped in to do a quick run to Seattle of all places! They just needed a purser on a moment's notice and I had a few flying hours left, so there we go! I just caught American Eagle here after that was done so that I could come and see Marge, because I haven't actually been here in three months and with the baby coming and everything..."
"There's no baby yet," Marge snuffled. "There was no rush."
"Oh shut up," Bonnie snuffled in retaliation. "Besides, I brought you some lovely gifts from London...I actually managed to nip out to the city this time..."
"So are you still doing the Chicago-London run, Bonnie?" I asked politely as I wracked my memory for polite topics of small talk that didn't involve my ass, preferably.
"Hell yes," the cougar stated in a very much of a Marge-like manner, I had to admit, once again struck by the similarities which Marge sometimes admittedly tried to play down...and failed..."that's the one good thing about being a senior flight attendant...you can choose the good runs. It's still not glamorous but it's alright. Like catching a bus for us old paws...unlike the little girls who come in thinking that they'll soon be swept off their footpaws by some hot celebrity in first class..."
There we go...the talk had turned to her life, not mine...or Marge's...good...safe and good...alright...maybe I could survive this...
"Well you have done it for a while, haven't you?"
"Twenty-three years coming next August!" the glamorous cougar replied. "Never wanted to go back to the bank."
"It's a bit like being a nun," Marge stated. "You wear a fancy costume and have a good relationship with the folks up in the heaven."
"Ha!" Bonnie snapped. "That's your granddad's joke!"
"I know," Marge said. "How are they, anyway, granny and granddad?"
"They're just as fine as you'd expect," Bonnie made some paw gestures for emphasis...or maybe it was an esoteric message... "they really want you to come to your granddad's 79th ."
"I'll have to think about it."
"Oh, nonsense! You know I can get you the staff discount tickets, you'll just fly over!"
"By speaking in plural, I presume you want Goggy to come too."
"Can't be avoided, I suppose, now that he's family," Bonnie stated. "I'm sure he won't shock granny and granddad too badly as long as he doesn't wear those rainbow-colored pants..."
"I bought him those pants! He loved them!" Marge yelped. "He looks great in them."
"I'm sure he'll look good in a suit and a tie too," Bonnie said. "Isn't it true, Rory, that every man looks good in a suit and a tie?"
"Uhmm..."
"Look, Rory!"
Oh my...
Cobb was coming over, the few yards of the floor easily crossed by someone with long legs such as his, and suddenly he crashed in, ever so unsubtly, holding a glossy magazine up as if in a sign of victory.
"I found this really cool boat magazine, I always see them going on Lake Michigan but I never figured what they're packing under the bonnet...this one's got an outboard engine special!" Cobb stated as he waved the magazine in front of my muzzle.
"Oh, excuse me," Bonnie said, her little paw tucking on the side of Cobb's oversized and hence loose I *heart* NYC T-shirt, which caused the Dobie to freeze and tilt his huge head in the little woman's direction.
"Yes?"
"Do you think that a suit and a tie make all men look great?" Bonnie said. "I am sorry to bother you, but my daughter is insisting that her boyfriend should be allowed to wear some dreadful clothes to my father's birthday party."
I could practically hear the gears coming to a grinding halt inside Cobb's brain - a sound not unlike the needle of an old-fashioned record player skidding off the track, the big Dobie blinked, staring down at the earnestly smiling cougar, and then he just...I don't know...
"Oh definitely, but that's more in my brother's field, because he's gay and I'm not, and I'm sure he knows more about what makes men look great and attractive," Cobb stated, "Isn't that right, Rory?"
*
Thank you for reading my story! Hope you enjoyed the read, and I hope that you will comment, vote, fave and watch - all feedback helps others to find these stories to enjoy as well.
See you on Monday!