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Ruth and Merrie

Ruth rang the doorbell, flower vase in one hand. She had around her neck a new small silvered chain holding a crystal in which a small bone cross-section was displayed. She wore causal school clothes.

Merrie answered. "This is not..."

"I know. But please? I need to talk to you. Rene sent this." Ruth gestured with the vase. "She said you could smash it if you wanted to."

"How did..."

"We came by earlier, heard the crockery and went out to get you some more." Ruth gestured to the car in the driveway. It was parked in backwards, and Merrie could not see the drivers shape or face. Ruth was too young to drive, but Merrie did not think of that then.

One tear etched face looked at the other, Ruth's eyes were less red than what Merrie had seen in her mirror.

"Yes, come on in."

"Mom says 'Hi'."

"How is she doing?"

"They did not keep her at the hospital long. She is resting at home, and should recover sometime. She sleeps a lot. "

"Oh"

"And I want to piss off my dad, and I want your permission and help. But I want to get the rest of the list first. And to help with that, I want to introduce you to my boyfriend."

"Ruth, this is a bit much."

"Your right, I am rushing it. Ok, One of the things I wanted to talk about is making an online memorial for Dawn. I have my pictures and such on a USB stick, and I was hoping that you could add some of your own."

"I have not even gone into her room more than once. I could not take it. And I think you will find it hard too."

"Yeah, I can see that. I had trouble putting this memorial together. I got to introduce you to my assistant. Do you remember the gentleman that helped out Cassie?"

"I just remember a big voice."

"Aadrika. He and I started to look for that rude pred that so hurt that girl. I am still mad. He sullied the name of preds everywhere."

Merrie started laughing, and continued hard. "Sullied... sullied.. you can't sully what is not ever more than that bloody... mess." She shook her head, and then dropped her head down a bit.

Ruth said, "He killed nasty, not clean. Does that not concern you?"

"Yes, I guess it does. Not that many of us will die of old age."

Ruth, embarrassed by this discussion, covered her canine teeth with her lips.

"Anyway we were both on that hunt, and he mentioned that he needed a way of staying in the US. My tribe now considers me to be adult, thanks to Dawn, and we are wrangling with the feds on this. But we will be married soon."

"Congratulations. Or should I say something different?"

"I really can not help him and fake the marriage. Anyway he is helping me. This neighborhood is not safe for people of my shape."

"Nooo, really? We just stampede for the fun of it sometimes, I have been told."

"But having a tiger trumps that. He drives, and he carries too."

"I would feel very uncomfortable next to a tiger. I would feel that hospitality would mean offering me to him. That is the usual when our species cross."

"He's a sweetie. And I promise that if anyone feeds him, I will be first. I can be fierce on that."

Merrie looked up. "Your word on that?"

"Yes. As an adult of my tribe, my word and blood on that. Can I call him?"

"OK"

Ruth phoned him, exchanged loving words, and Aadrika soon was at the door. He carried a large box with other boxes top of that. Setting it down, he Moved what was a laptop off, and opened up a box of dishware.

Marie was reacting to the buff body of one of the world's largest land carnivores. She controlled her trembling, and did not have much fear scent, she was proud of that. "Your Majesty?"

"I am only distantly related to royalty. My grandfather met your Americans when he flew with the Chinese air force out of Burma. And please, you have nothing to fear from me." He had an upper class British accent, which was incongruous with him declining royal status.

"Thank you. It is just that my body reacts to... well, killers like yours.""I am still trying to find a way to stop people from having that reaction. 'Fear Not' has not cut it. Anyway, we heard plates smashing, and picked up some for you."

"Oh"

"And some of this will help digitize photos and such that Dawn took. And If I can get to that, Ruth has her own agenda."

She nodded to him, and gestured to Dawns room. "The room on the right."

Ruth said, "Merrie, what funeral arrangements were made for Dawn?"

"We had a memorial service at the church the Sunday after she died."

"I wished I had been there, even though I might not have been so welcome. I want to be nice, and I do not want to hurt, but..."

Merrie looked at Ruth, "Yes? Oh, you're done with her?"

Ruth ears went further down. "I do not know how to say it."

"Just say it"

"Dad cleaned the bones, and we built a pine box, and it is in the car. If you want..." Pause. "And I think that he is being a barbarian. Which is one reason I want to piss him off."

"I will accept that box. What does 'pissing your dad off' have to do with me?"

"Well it is not for that reason alone. I want to honor that night's victims. And my change in status, to adult, allows something special for that. It allows me to change my name. But I have to get your permission, or I will feel that I am betraying you. I want you to help name me."

"Oh"

"Could I take Dawn's name as my own?"

"That would be confusing. I like the idea, but try another."

"I could take Cassie's name."

"I would not object, though you might check with Cassie's parents."

"Yeah, and really Dawn was my special friend. I was really hoping for her name."

"Maybe as a middle name? And I must say, I am no longer merry. It may pass, it must pass, but losing my daughter... I haven't recovered, and I am not sure that I want to recover yet. The name is available, if you want."

"Ruth Cassie Dawn Merrie Reaver? That is a mouthful. And I am going to be more Ruthless when I find that killer than I care to consider. My tiger is more than just protection. He agrees that needless pain should be dealt with. We may not be inter-fertile, but I love my tiger."

"Try this, and leave Cassie out of it. Ruth Merrie Dawn Reaver. Humm?"

"I would like to think that Dawn's spirit is merry. It will do. And I have been served my fill of meat these last weeks. I really want to get my dad angry. Or tell him that I reject his traditional tribe values. This will do well. I may well use the name as my mood strikes. I will be a grimly merry reaver when I find and face that nasty. The one thing that I will be grateful to dad for is the lessons he is giving me on the kill. It may get to that."

"Your attitude... it shakes me. To look forward to ending a life, however deserved, is just so foreign to my people. But I wish you satisfaction on that journey." Pause. "And feel fine using the names as you desire and need."

"Do your people have a naming ceremony? And if you drop Merrie, what will you take up?"

"We do. I am not sure what name I want. If I wanted confusion I would take yours or your mother's. What name means sadness?"

"Many do. Mara can mean such, it is literally 'bitter'. Dolores suggests pain."

"Aadrika, hon, could you look up names meaning sadness on the net?"Yes, give me a while, I got this hooked up for photos and copying."

'Ruthie Dawn? I have a computer free for that."

Ruth smiled at at use of her new name. Her ears came up to a half way position, and her tail wagged once.

They checked the computer and end up agreeing on Tangi, 'To cry with great sadness.'

"Tangi, if there is ever anything I can do for you, consider me under obligation. I would not want to cause the death of another, but I might offer that sometime."

"I could not accept that offering. It is not our way. But I accept the offer of help, and the spirit that it was given in." Tangi said. "We do have an official naming ceremony at the church. But would you leave your tiger outside? I do not think he would be welcome. It would remind us of our mortality too strongly."

"I would not, but thanks for offering. I am beginning to see that life with him will be as hard as my parents said it would. He's such a gentle soul."

"Ok, we could do something for us here. What do your people do?"

"Anything that marks the event. Ah.. usually involving blood."

Tangi compressed her lips, slightly disgusted. And then said, "Ok, we can do that. Ours uses water. And we can add that in."

"I want my sweetie to witness this."

"OK. Oh, I just realized. Your offer was the strongest you ever make, right?""It is usually not offered outside of our tribe. I may be violating tribal rules to make it to you. I do not care. The offer was made."

"I want you to know that I appreciate that deeply." She continued, "Back to the naming. I think it should leave a mark. Blood will do, ink will also do. I have a stamp pad around here, and we can mark our prints on each other. We could also mark our new names somehow. I think I have some contrasting ink around."

As Tangi worked to assemble the art project, she asked the question she had deferred. "Ruthie Dawn, You have said that you have given your word on the tiger's behavior. And you likely used traditional wording. But you want to go against tradition and anger your father. Can you see the contrast, the difficulty? My life depends on you, and yet..."

"And yet I want to reject some traditionalist thinking."

"If you were not such a young and likely idealistic person, I might be afraid. As it is, I feel that I can depend on your word. But can you really have it both ways?"

"Things have been changing. Mom mentioned that when she was young, she ... she was uncivilized by today's standards. Dad is still looking more to those days. He is an old warrior. The day that one has to kill to be considered an adult by the tribe may be going, but it still is there. Dad, shit, Dad wants me to eat my kill. My friend!" Ruthie sat down, momentarily overcome. Tangi got up and hugged her. The two wept into each others arms. It was a relief that both needed.

"Tangi? Mrs. Shadowhide? Did I do good for her?"

"You did the best that you could."

"Do you forgive me?"

"Right now I am not forgiving myself or anyone. But when I get to forgiving, I will forgive you."

"Ah, OK. I am also angry. I am just so mad at that tradition, at the present need to kill to be considered an adult, at Dad for who he feeds me, at so many things."

"Could you do the lone wolf life?"

"Not without becoming the person I don't want to be. I can not live on my own without illegal hunting, and I won't. Besides I am not the hunter I need to be." Shudders. "I would be cold dead in a week, likely. And I would rather hunt the hunters. Which would need even more skill." She thought a moment, "And that brings me to what Ruth made me promise. She said two things. One, that I never taste the chocolate."

Tangi looked a bit puzzled.

"That is wolf for killing or harming myself. And second, that I help and protect you as though you were my own." "Thanks, but Eyal protects me well. I do not have needs like that at this time."

"Oh."

"And I now understand some of your earlier offer."

"It was more than that, but, yes, it was doing what she wanted. The offer is open while I live."

"That's sweet. "

"Tell your mother that anytime she needs me, I will be there. I got rid of anger I did not know I had, but now I feel the need to fix what I did. And somethings can never be fixed. But I want to try."

"Yeah, I know how some of that works."

Ruth's List:

Bones

China to throw

Memorial

On line

Burial

Name change

flowers in vase

scanning computer.