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The love of my afterlife

I grew up in a small town, the kind where everyone knows your name and you couldn't do anything before your parents knew when, where and why it happened. Though it could be a pain it also meant that you grew up with all the other kids. I grew up with a group and we did everything together, we shared tales of our first girl friends, except Mira (the only girl in our group, she's a black panther with yellow eyes that have black slits going straight up and down like daggers, yet when you looked in her eyes it was soothing) because she had never had a boy friend, and the first time each of us got drunk. We also shared stories of the first times we had sex though Mira again never told us because she had never had sex. When we all grew up, we moved apart, except me and Mira, we are living together at the university dorms.

***

It was the first day of the new semester and me and Mira were back from our respective vacations, she went to Japan and spent time learning their culture, I went home to visit one of my old friends from back home and they hosted a rave party to celebrate my return, the town had grown since I had grown up there but it was still a nice trip, and it brought back a lot of memories. Me and Mira were sharing our photos and taking about how our trips went when she first told me about her new boy friend Andy.

"We met in Japan" she said "I was at a bar when he sat down next to me and asked me if I wanted a cocktail, it was a little direct but I was on vacation and he was cute."

"So you two hit it off?"

"Yes, for some reason I felt a connection to him."

"Sounds good. So what do you want to do before school starts?"

"I'm not sure."

"I was thinking we could leave the last days of summer vacation with a blast, you know spend one more night to go out and have some fun."

"I don't know..."

"Come on you can bring Andy; he does live near by right?"

"In our dorm in fact."

"Well what are we waiting for lets go get him and go to Kirk's." Kirk's was the bar we always went to. Kirk was a friend of my brother and when we heard he had opened a bar me and Mira decided we would always go to his bar. He takes care of us and, makes sure we don't get into trouble. We take our friends there and try to give him as much business as he can handle.

"Your right lets go, maybe Kirk finally got that stereo he was saving for, we can play those songs you got of the guys back home."

As it turned out Andy, was a pretty cool guy. He was so much like my friends at home and when I was talking to him it was like I knew him for years. He was also a black panther and looked somewhat like Mira only his eyes were not as gentle, he looked more serious. After I got to know him Mira asked him to come and dance because Kirk had indeed gotten his stereo and it was playing her favorite song. After a long night we got home and Mira was so tired she had fallen asleep and needed to be carried, I went to our dorm while Andy took her back to his dorm, he told me his roommate worked nights and he was on shift tonight so he had the dorm to himself. It was for the best anyway I mean I was still drunk and Andy hadn't had a thing. He said good night and I told him to take care of Mira.

***

I woke up the next morning and decided to go see how Mira was doing and went to Andy's dorm. The first thing I noticed when I showed up at his door was that it was locked I knocked only to see that the guy to immerge was not Andy. It was a Rabbit, with white fur all over, except for brown tips on his ears.

"Hello I'm looking for Mira."

"Would she be Andy's friend?"

"Yes."

"Come in." after I entered he turned and shook my hand "Hi I'm Carlos, Andy's roommate."

"Hi I'm Eagle."

"Really? That's a strange name for a wolf?"

"When my mom was pregnant my dad died from a heart attack, he was 45 years old, my mom was 39 and she died during child berth and I was left with my brother he was 20, he played a lot of games and decided to use part of his screen name as mine. He had always been a bit immature, but at the time I was a kid and I liked the name then and it just stuck."

"That's rough."

"I never look at the down side I like to put it in the most positive way I can."

"Well anyway, your friend is still asleep in there. Andy is making breakfast, make yourself at home."

"Thanks."

Andy was making eggs and as soon as he saw me he said "we need to wake Mira would you go get her."

"sure." I said without giving it any thought. I realized after words that I had not considered what they might have been doing all night but I didn't matter for when I got to the room she was wearing the cloths she wore last night.

When we finally had breakfast Andy and Mira had news

"We broke up." They said it in unison and it was almost as if they were happier

"Why?" I asked

"We are brother and sister." Mira said. Mira had moved in with her mother around the time of my 3rd birthday and her mother told my brother about her divorce with her husband who got custody of Mira's twin brother. I assumed that Andy was that brother and that scared me in some ways.

"So how did you find out?"

"When I woke up I saw a picture of him and my father and knew he was my brother."

"She asked me who the man in the picture was and when I said he was my father she said, well he's mine too."

"That must have been awkward."

"Well at first but that feeling moved aside to the feeling of, oh my god I finally found you!"

After a nice breakfast, me and Mira were headed back to our dorm when she surprised me with a kiss on the cheek. "Wa-what was that for?" I was hoping she could not tell how nervous I sounded, I had a crush on here sense we were 14.

"For trusting me and Andy together, if you hadn't, we never would have known."

Then she kissed me on the lips "what was that for?" I must have sounded like I was stoned, because I was so distant I could barely hear her response

"That was for me, because it been so long sense I kissed a guy before, and you sounded awfully nervous before, and I wanted to drive someone a little crazy." she winked when she said it and I was shocked. She turned and left to go to the pool, it was often what she did at this time of day so that was nothing new but I couldn't help myself from trying to get a good look at her while she left.

***

Mira got back from the pool after a about an hour, she must have left in a hurry cause she hadn't dried of yet. While she was gone I decided that I was going to ask her to come with me to get some coffee. She was obviously interested in me or she wouldn't be even the slightest amused by trying to get me going like she did.

"Hey Mira wana go grab some coffee down the street." I regretted it as soon as I said it because after an hour of thought I had completely forgotten about the coffee maker we had recently bought.

"You mean some beans over at the grocery market? Sure." Without another word she left, I was sort of relieved that she had not noticed I was asking her if she wanted to get coffee at the coffee shop attached to the grocery store

I heard her come back about 30 minutes later while I was in the shower. I was finished and starting to get out so I turned off the shower and stepped out, put my towel on and came out to go dry off in my room, Mira was already making coffee and I noticed she had bought a thong that looked quite revealing. I tried to ignore it as I went to get dried and changed.

When I came out of my room she was already sitting down on our futon, drinking coffee and watching TV she had already pored mine and I joined her. It was hard not to say anything but I couldn't muster up the courage to start a conversation it was like I was trying to talk to someone one of your friends sets you up with. After about 5 minutes of not saying a word she finally broke the silence.

"Eagle, today when I kissed you I saw something I haven't seen in a long time, I saw that cute dumb struck look you used to have when ever I tried to talk to you back when we were just kids. I know you liked me, and I know you still do. It's been so long sense I saw that face and I guess when I saw it again I got carried away, I think that made you uncomfortable and I'm sorry."

No sooner had she finished talking I leaned in grabbed her and gave her a kiss and I held her in that embrace for a good 20 seconds before I let her go. She looked so stunned and I finally knew what face she was talking about.

"I know, isn't it fun to just surprise someone and see that look on them that says, what just happened?" It was so fast. I had to think of something quick, because I had absolutely no idea why I kissed her, I was listening to her and I just lost control, I couldn't stop myself. To my relief she smiled and said "Ya I love to see that look in someone's eyes."

***

Late afternoon Mira left to go to lunch with a friend who was helping her get a job, not minutes after leaving a friend of ours came over, jumping up and down with a big grin on her face. Her name was Kara, a vixen with rust red fur almost all over, that had been at the university a few years longer then us and she lived next door so we had become good friends.

"I knew it!"

"What?"

"I always knew this would happen! I told you guys too!"

"Told us what?"

"Do I need to spell it out for you, again? Mira likes you! You kissed her no less then 2 hours ago and all that time she was on her laptop doing a 'history assignment' she was on msn telling everyone that you kissed her and how good it was. I told you two when ever a guy and a girl room together and they say they are just 'friends' they always end up together. You both told me I was wrong and now, who was right?"

"It wasn't anything big. You're blowing it out of proportion."

"You asked her if she wanted to go get a coffee and you bought a coffee maker a month ago, you tell me how off base I am."

"You really think she likes me?"

"Wait a minute, how long have you liked her?"

"What?"

"How long?"

"What makes you think I liked her before?"

"Because she told me about the spacey look you had when she kissed you. Now answer the question."

"Sense we were in high school." I was reluctant to say it but I knew Kara too well and she would have gotten it out of me eventually.

"Told you so. Ha! So when are you taking her on your first date?"

"This conversation is going way to fast, I don't even know if she would go out with me. I mean after a date what would happen, we live in the same room I can't drop her off and say 'good night, I'll call you in the morning' and leave."

"Oh, poor you, you don't get the chance to leave a date at a kiss good night. You get forced to go into the house." The sarcasm in her voice was so strong you could smell it.

"It's not that easy, imagine after a date the guy came into your house and you both were both just in your house and there was this awkward silence."

"You see at that point the smart person would do something along the lines of take the other person then and there where ever they stood."

"Mira is nothing like that at all; I could never even try doing it."

"I meant her."

"Again she wouldn't do that."

"2 days ago did you think she would kiss you without any warning?"

"I-I guess-maybe, I don't know."

"The correct answer was 'I would never have guessed it in my life.'"

"Well what do you want me to do?"

"When she gets back ask her to come to the movies with you, go watch the most romantic movie they got and have fun."

"I don't know..."

"Listen to me! Do it or you WILL regret it!"

***

After Mira got back from lunch she spent a lot of time in her room. I had no idea what she was doing in there, but I didn't want to let my curiosity get the better of me and I wanted to respect her privacy. After 10 minutes of that charade I was too curious as to what she was doing. We took similar courses so if she was studying she would have invited me. I had to see. Her door was not fully closed, so I looked in through the crack. She was lying down on her bed, holding a picture of me; she had her laptop on an end table next to her and she starting typing to someone. I had my laptop open and I was on msn and within seconds got a message from Kara.

"Mira is on right now telling me how much she wants go out with you. Go ask her NOW!

I was confused. Kara was right. Mira did like me.

"Fine you win I'll ask her out, but I don't have a good feeling about it. I never went out with a friend before and I don't want to ruin it."

"Have I steered ether of you guys wrong before? Seriously go ask her now. Right now. No more stalling."

I was nervous about it but I went to Mira's door and knocked on it. I could hear her jump and before I had had a chance to react, she got up. I saw her through the crack typing on her laptop and then look at the door moving slowly towards it. I leaned back so she wouldn't see I was spying and when she opened the door I froze. I couldn't say a word. All I could get out was "Movie?"

"What?"

"D-do you want to go to a movie?"

"Um, sure. What time would we go?"

"What time is best for you?"

"How about tomorrow after diner."

"Sounds good."

"Ok then."

She closed the door and went in her room. Sadly this time she closed it all the way and I could not see her reaction. I went back to my laptop and I messaged Kara to tell her I had asked Mira out. Of course she knew this already because the person Mira was talking to on msn was Kara and she had been getting Mira to go out with me.

"So you're a match maker now are you?"

"No, I'm just a keen observer and I hated seeing the two of you both in denial."

"And Mira knows you have been talking to me?"

"She found out just before you did. Oh and here is every conversation me and Mira ever had on msn about you in the past week. I'm sending her the ones I had with you too."

"What?!"

"Here you go." As soon as the words popped up on my screen I heard a knock at the door. I knew it was Kara she had to be joking about the conversations. I opened the door and she held out 2 flash drives.

"This one is for you; the other one is for Mira. Have fun!" she pressed one into my hand and walked into the house holding her laptop as she came in. She walked right into Mira's room and came out seconds later, winked at me and left. Mira came out of her room with a shocked look on her face but as soon as we made eye contact we both looked away and she went into her room and closed the door. I had no idea what to do so I did the only thing that I could, I followed Kara's advice and started reading the conversations to find out as much as I could about Mira's personal feelings. There was a lot of stuff to read but I had a least 5 hours before dinner (that was going to be awkward) so I could get through it all.

***

I didn't get as much as I had hoped from the conversations Mira had had with Kara. But knowing what I had said to Kara in the past week, I knew that Mira had lots to work with. God damn it, she had all she needed, she could learn so much just in the last 2 conversations and I had nothing I felt like one of those kids in high school with a crush, vulnerable, weak and exposed. Sense I didn't have much to work with from the conversation I decided to make an impressionable mark. Mira always loved my cooking but I had some tings I only saved for family and *potential* family (you had to get in a REALLY serious relationship with me to get that label) so I decided to whip up a family recipe for lasagna, with some chocolate covered strawberries for desert. I was in the middle of making the chocolate (from starch) she came out.

"What are you up too?"

"Making supper."

"So if that's chocolate, what are we having it on?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise."

"By the effort your putting in to this you either really want to impress me or you didn't get enough out of the conversations with Kara and want to emphasis what your best at."

Mira had a supernatural ability to read my mind like an open book. This was particularly frustrating at this point.

"Why do you do that? Really though? I feel like a deflating balloon."

She chuckled at this and that was a welcome thing, humor was something I always thought I was bad at, but I seemed to be good at making Mira laugh so I ran with it.

"Come on, it's so easy and making you nervous is so much fun."

She traced my spine with here claw and I shivered

"That's... ok."

That's ok? That's ok! What the hell was I thinking I regretted it the very second it came out. I was relieved to see Mira took it was a joke and she had a smirk on her face chuckling slightly. I can't tell what it was but something smelled weird I couldn't place it, I had noticed it around the time she was dragging her claw lightly down my back but I was too distracted to have truly noticed until now.

"I'm going to go over and talk to Andy. I'll see you around supper time."

In all reality it was supper time but I knew she meant when I would be done. I didn't tell her how long that was but I knew she would smell it when it was and that would be enough.

When the lasagna was in the oven and almost ready to come out and the strawberries were in the fridge to keep the chocolate solid, I heard someone running down the hall. Then Mira ran into the kitchen and hugged me. A little thrown back I hugged her back, still confused. She let go and sat down and thanked me in advance for dinner. I knew Andy said something to her to make her this happy but I had no idea what he did, what ever it was it felt good to have a man working from the inside.

The bell on the oven ran and I took out the lasagna. I could see the hunger in Mira's eyes and it felt like I was teasing her when I started serving it, I had done it slow to keep it in one shape. We were half way through the lasagna (which at one point made her moan uncontrollably in ecstasy) when it finally hit her

"Where's the chocolate?"

"Be patient. You'll love what I did with it."

After supper I finally brought out the chocolate strawberries and the look on Mira's face was priceless. If her jaw had dropped any more it would have dislocated.

"Oh my god."

"So you don't want any at all?"

The sarcastic remark swept so far over her head I could swear she couldn't even hear me speak. I laid them on the table in front of her and I took one and slowly gave it to her

"Feed it to me."

Not one to disobey an order, no matter how weird it was, I did as she asked. As she ate it she started to melt in her seat. We sat there for about 15minutes and we just feeding each other chocolate covered strawberries which on reflection was pretty provocative, but no where near as bad as what happened next. I fed her the last strawberry and as soon as she finished it she stood up and thanked me, then she grabbed me by my ears started to kiss me and dragged me to the floor. Just like that. It was so sudden; I didn't have time to react. It took me about 20 seconds before I realized the only girl I had ever loved was underneath me, making out with me and not wearing a bra (by now this was clearly visible). By the time what was happening finally caught up with me she had stopped and, unfortunately, got a hold of herself, but I wasn't letting her make the last move. I put one arm around her waste and the other around her back with my hand on the back of her head and I kissed her deeply. After what felt like an eternity in a heaven I never knew existed I stopped looked, deep into her eyes then I whispered in her ear.

"Good night."

Parting on those words we went to our rooms and closed the doors. I had a gut feeling this could become quite awkward.

***

I awoke to a strange sight, Kara leaning over me about 2 inches from my face. I jumped instinctively.

"Startled you did I?"

"Jesus, don't go doing that to me."

"Oh, don't be such a baby." She said it like I was supposed to be constantly aware of everyone around me when I'm asleep. "Now get up we got work to do."

"Work? What work?"

"Mira is gone for he swim, and you need some pointer because you're lousy at seeing subtlety."

Subtlety, what the hell was she talking about. She must have seen the puzzled look on my face because she answered my unspoken question.

"The stuff I sent you. There was a ton of stuff you could have used but you didn't and instead you made here dinner and almost screwed everything up!"

"How was that screwing it up?"

"Let me fit all the pieces together for you. Mira likes you, you like Mira, you make her a romantic dinner without ever having gone on a date, and to boot you two almost ended up doing it. I would like to remind you again you have YET to go on ONE god damn date! If she hadn't realized how fast you were going and come to her sense I would be having this talk with both of you trying to stop you guys from fucking your friendship up!"

"Ok, ok I get it. So what do you want me to do?"

"Read the conversations I gave you, carefully, and keep it in your pants!"

On that note she stormed out. This was going to be one hell of a day I could feel it. Mira and I were going on our first date today and I somehow had to learn a whole other side of her I had never seen by trying to read between the lines of a few conversations about me she had. And knowing me after about 10 minutes of that I deleted ever single thing cause I realized it wasn't doing me any more good. Back to the drawing board (I was still going to follow Kara's advice, just not the boring part of it.) So I had to come up with an idea of what to do next to impress Mira, but know I had to do it without seducing her (man that sounded really weird in my head), but what? As soon as I recognized the question I had just asked my self I had my answer. Dancing.

Back in the day I took dance lessons, I was the one guy in my town that didn't adapt the tough guy attitude and look. Instead I taught myself to cook and took dance lessons, which on reflection, would only work on women who had already agreed to go out on a date in the first place, which even now, I didn't have anything other then "I was a nice guy." That one didn't help too much when all the other guys had cars. I had my brothers van, which smelled of some unknown thing that took about 2 years to get used too.

So all I had to do was get Mira to go dancing with me somewhere fancy. Tomorrow, or maybe later, damn I'm bad at this.

***

It was about 5:00 when Mira got home, I had been waiting for our date and it was still an hour away. She walked into her room and I was struck, she came in without a word which was really different, she always said hi or what's for supper, anything but it was like she was a totally different person, to shy and nervous to talk to me.

I decided to leave to get some air; I had been in the dorm all day. As I was leaving Mira came out of her room and she was wearing a bright red cocktail dress without any straps. I guess she saw me gawking, because she broke the silence.

"So we are still on tonight."

"y-ya." I was nodding but I wasn't able to speak with coherence.

"Ok well you might want to go get dressed for it." A big smirk came across her face

After careful inspection I realized I was only wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of black silk boxers, and they weren't hiding anywhere near enough. After I got over how exposed I was, I saw how clear it was that she wasn't wearing a bra.

"Ok, I'm going to go get dressed."

I went in a grabbed a suit out of the closet put it on. It wasn't to fancy but it was a good value.

We left the dorms and walked 2 blocks to the mall, where the theatre was. The movie wasn't all that long but while we were watching it she had her head laid against my shoulder, if someone asked me anything about the movie we watched would not be able to tell them a thing. I was to busy trying to keep myself from twitching.

We got home and for the second time, she grabbed my ears, and kissed me but this time was different. It was really deep; her tongue found its way into my mouth and returned the favor. I was living my high school dream. The whole time I had my eyes closed, for the first time sense we started kissing I opened them to see she was taking of her dress. I took of my jacket and shirt as she led me to her room. When we got to her bed she pulled me down on top of her, it was only seconds after I took off my own pants that I realized that the weird smell was back, I couldn't quite place it. That is I couldn't at first, after we were both undressed I started to move further down her smooth fur kissing it as I went. When I finally got to her breast, I used my fingers to push back some of the fur and started to lick her nipples, caressing them with my tongue tell they were hard as rock, then I moved further down again until I was about to reach her kunt. Then I started to move back up again, I wanted to tease her as much as I could get away with. I was almost back up to her nipples again when I went back down, she let out a groan of impatience, so I moved a little faster, this time I reached her lips and moved the fur back enough to expose he completely, I wasted no more time. I explored every fold slowly and softly using first the rough side of my tongue then the smooth underside. She started to squirm and I finally knew the smell. It was her. I had had lovers in the past, I was never a player but the lovers I had before were nothing like this, her smell was so much sweeter. Like the chocolate we had the night before. As she filled with juices I happily lapped them up, she continued to squirm and wiggle beneath me, I removed my tongue momentarily to bring myself up, but a hand on top of my head told me that it wasn't an option, I continued my work until she started to buck, arching her back. She must not have been far from coming because she looked so disappointed when I stopped so I decided to make the change in position more gradual, I started again but twisting sideways while I did, she again started her squirming, I finally got into the sixty nine position and she must have known right away why I kept stopping so many times because it wasn't long before I felt her tongue on my cock. She started slowly wrapping her tongue around it getting closer and closer to the base, I let out a gasp of pleasure when she finally had my entirety inside her mouth, then she garb me and pulled me in closer slowly licking all the way around and back again and again. She came first she garb and squeezed my ass as she sucked me off, arching her back and bucking into my tongue, but it wasn't long and I came too, filling her mouth, when I looked up she look so surprised, she was panting and out of breath, her mouth covered in cum. "That was your first time wasn't it."

"First time for what?"

"Having an orgasm."

"Yes, it was."

"Well then I'll have to make this all the more special for you then."

She looked so confused, but she wasn't when I started tonguing her again, the moans and groans returned with new energy, I ran my arms up and down the back of her legs finding a sensitive spot on her inner thigh. I lightly rubbed it and she gasped a little, she stared to run her hands up and down my sides, she wanted to squeeze something when she came, the same way she did last time. I kept going bringing her again back up to new heights, she moaned louder and louder, even when she came I kept going even deeper and deeper making her louder and louder. She finally started to come down from her orgasm when I moved back so we lying side by side. She had licked up the few remnants of my cum from her lips and I moved on top of her.

"Now for the real fun."

I slowly penetrated her depths, she gasped slightly as I reached the halfway mark, I marveled at how tight she was but then again it wasn't to hard to expect, she was a virgin. As I finally got all the way in she was panting her breath irregular.

"Your about to come again aren't you."

Al she managed to do was nod as she grabbed me and brought me in closer, trying to make sure she had as much in as she could fit. I wasn't letting her come before me this time. I went slow, just lightly pushing back and forth into her depths. It was quite hard not to just go all out but I wanted this to last a while. I speed up slowly, only just realizing how wet she was, such a strange feeling. It was so wet and sleek it was almost frictionless but she was so tight it was hard to move in and out. As I got faster she got louder, and started to buck her hips matching my thrusts perfectly. This time I came first, unloading in to her, though there wasn't much left in there, the spasms I had made her cum for the third time. We laid there in each others arms still connected at the sexes. She spoke first.

"That was amazing."

"I'm glad you liked it."

"I..."

"You what?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

With those last words I started to drift into sleep. Just before I did I saw Mira smile, and close her eyes.

***

I woke up to see Mira staring at me.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Of course I did, how did you sleep?"

"With you here holding me, better then I ever have."

"We need to get groceries today don't we?"

"I think so, I'll go get dressed."

With that she left. After she and I were dressed we had breakfast, the last of the eggs we had.

"You ready to go?"

"Yep."

We walked over to the store and we started picking some things out and making idle conversation. There was one other guy in the store shopping, he was a human, he got to the teller just after us but he didn't have much in his basket. We left and were on our way back home. We were walking down the usual route back to the dorm, it went through one ally that was never known to be a bad place, but it was rather small and whenever it rained it stayed damp for at least a day, under the right conditions it could stay damp for a week. We finally got to the ally and while we were walking down the ally I heard someone behind us and I looked back. I saw the guy from the store behind us and he was going in the same direction, but he was walking a bit faster then we where. I didn't recognize him so I half wanted him to catch up so I could talk to him. It seems funny now; I wanted him to catch up. Never the less he did catch up, I turned to talk to him sense it looked like he was going to the university, and as soon as I did he greeted me with a gun, pointed square at my face. I froze still. He opened his mouth.

"Give me the wallet and I don't blow you a new hole to breathe through."

I opened my jacket to reach for my wallet, when out of the corner of my eye I saw Mira sneaking up behind him. I figured he didn't see her, I was wrong. He grabbed a knife out of his pocket and stabbed Mira in the chest. I didn't even have time to move before he did it. But sure as hell moved after it. I grabbed the gun in his hand pointing it to the left of me, it went off, I kicked down on his knee hard, and I heard the crack of it breaking. A quick elbow to the top of his head and he was down unconscious. I turned my attention immediately to her. The knife was still stuck in her, right down to the hilt.

"It's going to be ok Mira."

I took her phone from her purse and dialed 911.

"Hold on Mira I'm getting help. Hello operator. I'm in an ally next to the university. My girl friend was stabbed, it's deep I cont stop the bleeding please help!"

"What road?"

"The one out in front of the physics building, I think it's Walter Street."

"An ambulance is on the way."

I hung up the phone.

"Come on Mira hang in there."

I could she bubbles in the blood coming out of her mouth, I was studying biology and I knew that meant a punctured lung. I put here hand in mine but she pulled my hand to her heart.

"Eagle, I, I may not make it today."

"No, you will don't say thing like that."

"Stop, please. I want to hear you say it, tell me you love me, one last time."

"Mira I love you. Don't go, you can't go. Mira. Mira!

With the last words I saw her eyes glaze over, the life drained from her eyes. My hand on her heart, I could feel it slow, crawling to a stop just as I heard the ambulance arrive. The paramedics where talking to me asking me questions but I couldn't hear anything all I could here was the nothing, the void that was once Mira's heart beat. I couldn't see, my eyes clouded over with black. I could feel a cold slime covering me, sucking me into a dark embrace that took every good feeling in my body, I was unbearably cold. I was scared and alone I screamed for help, when no one answered I shivered and sobbed in a ball on a nonexistent floor. All of a sudden I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Mira, with a warm glowing light around her, staring down at me in the dark. She spoke to me and her voice echoed around me.

"Eagle, don't worry about me, I'm safe. Worry about you, there is so much left for you in life. I may not have seen them all but you still can. Please don't let me hold you back."

"Mira I don't want to experience anything in life if it's not with you."

"You will have me. Anytime you need me, take the hand you laid on my heart, put it on your own, close your eyes and wait for my heartbeat to course through your hand again."

"But I don't want to leave you. I love you."

"I know you do but you have been here to long, your family miss you, your friends miss you. I want you to wake up, Mira has been dead for 2 years, and it wasn't your fault I forgive you."

"Mira what are you talking about?"

The love of my life faded but the glow stayed and in her place formed the shape of a familiar face.

"Andy?" my voice was faint, I could barely hear myself.

"Eagle? Oh may god you're awake. Doctor. Doctor!

"Andy what's going on here?"

"After Mira died the paramedics checked her, once they confirmed she was gone they checked you to see if you were alright, you passed out and you didn't wake up you have been in Acoma for 2 years."

It all came back, it hit me like a train.

"Where is she?!"

"Buried, long ago."

I could feel the slime covering me again, I was shaking. I started to close my eyes again but Andy caught me.

"No you don't, you've slept to long, now stop it."

The next words that came out of my mouth scared me shitless

"Where is he?" It was a low voice I never used before in my life, almost a growl.

"Mira died, I just told you."

"I said, where is HE?"

"Who?"

"The guy that stabbed Mira."

"They don't know, there was a human with you guys in the ally but he was another victim."

"No he wasn't. I tried to save her, I wasn't fast enough. Where is he?"

"I... I don't know."

I stood up finding new strength. The shaking had stopped, for a guy that had been in Acoma for the past 2 years I was walking with remarkable ease. Andy tried to slow me but I swiftly pushed his hand away. I found the IV that they had given me quite cumbersome so I took it out. As casually as a visitor might have entered I left the hospital, but the nurses and doctors were chasing me down.

"Please sir, you need to stay here longer." One of the nursed look genuinely concerned, a rabbit with white fur. But I didn't care anymore.

"I don't need anything any more."

She grabbed my hand begging me not to leave but the care free loving man that I was, no longer lived. I just dragged her with me on my arm as I left down the street. She let go only when I started to walk in to the middle of a street. I was almost hit by several cars but I just kept walking. The shaking in my arm returned but this time it wasn't fear, it was anger. I clenched my fist so hard my claws dug into my hand, blood oozed down to my knuckles. I knew where I needed to go. With out a word to anyone I left that town and went home to my brother. It was going to take a week walking but I was going to get there.

***

I arrived at my brother's house and knocked on the door, when he opened the door he was supersized to see me.

"Eagle what are you doing here."

"I came for something I left here long ago."

"They told me you were in Acoma."

"The key word in that sentence is 'were' and I assure you I don't care what happened to me. I'm here for something then I'm gone."

"You can stay if you want."

"There is no need."

I entered the house and went to the room that used to be mine. It was left in the same condition it was in when I left and the thing I came all this way for was sitting right on the desk. A throwing knife I had sense I was 12. I had intent to use it which was more then I ever thought of when I got it, I had intended to use it as an ornament, but not anymore.

"I'm off; I'm taking the other car."

"Ok?"

I left without another word all manners had left my mind. I cared for no one else I hate everything. I got home to see that the dorm room me and Mira used to live in was turned into a shrine for us both. I nearly kicked the flower aside as I 'humbly' moved back in. I laid the knife on a desk, returning to my bed only to smell the smell of Mira again. The shock hit me like a bullet. I almost broke down again, I felt the slime creeping up on me again but this time I fought back with ferocity, I thought of the guy that stabbed Mira the heartlessness of his act, and the slime was replaced with a fire. The good in me, or at least what was left of it, was frightened of what I was becoming, evil and cold like the monster that made me. I was confused, a thought occurred to me, so I laid down on the bed and put my hand on my heart I closed my eyes and I dreamt again.

***

I was again enveloped by darkness, but I did not fear it this time an embraced it welcoming the feeling it brought. Mira again came to me but this time she looked so scared and she shook as she spoke.

"Eagle, what have you become?"

"I want revenge, but I don't want to be this thing. I know what I'm becoming and I don't want to be it. Mira I need you to help me, what should I do, how do I do it? Please help me through this."

The shakiness in her voice was gone, now it was comforting.

"Just don't be that guy. The angry guy that wastes his life waiting for his chance just to regret it not seconds later."

"Ok. For you, I will do what ever I can."

She shook her head. "Don't do this for me, do this for you."

With that the vision left and I awoke and found it had been 8 hours. What was I doing, I was becoming this torn broken thing that wanted to break down walls and rip things limb from limb, yet I wanted to remove any hatred for others so I could please a woman that died years ago. I was torn between what I wanted and what I needed. What felt good and what felt right.

***

I left the dorm to get air and clear my head. I wasn't looking where I was going and I found myself walking down the ally. I froze when I realized where I was, it wasn't intentional but I'm glad I did, I was also glad I took my knife with me, for when I looked up what I saw scared and excited me at the same time. It was a couple walking down the ally, I don't know from where but I saw someone walking behind them. He was a human and he had a gun in his hand. They walked up and passed me and the human must have seen me because he stopped where he stood. The couple was a dog and a squirrel, the dog turned the way I did 2 years ago and looked at me he knew who I was. He stopped to talk but I wasn't listening. I started to walk towards the human, faster and faster until I was running. He pulled up his gun. One shot went through my ear, I didn't even flinch, the second missed, pulled out my knife, the third and it hit me in the arm, luckily not the one holding the knife, I raised the arm with the knife and a forth shot went off, this one hit bad, just below my ribs and into my gut, I threw the knife, I was too close for him to doge it, it lodged into his throat, he dropped his gun. I fell and landed next to him.

"You sick bastard, you killed my best friends, my lover, I was going to make her my wife, and you killed her in cold blood. I'm going to watch you die a slow death and revel in your pain you sick fuck!"

He couldn't breath but I saw his face, and I saw a pain deep in him I knew all to well, the pain of loss, hatred, revenge, anger, and sorrow.

Interlude

My name is Robert. My friends called me bob, before I left them. My life was a wasting hole of rote and contagion, my wife and I were in a restaurant when a black panther entered the restaurant with a mask on, he shot a bullet into the air from a revolver and looked around the room, he walked from table to table and demanded money, he got behind me and demanded my wallet, when I gave it to him he spit on me and laughed.

"You broke idiot."

He turned to my wife and motioned for her jewelry, I had my hand on a knife, and I saw only his black fur out of the corner of my eye. But what I saw next scared the shit out of me. I looked over at my wife, she shook as she took off her jewelry, she passed it to him and he bit it to check to see if they were real, they broke quickly and he yelled.

"Too cheep to buy your wife real jewelry, you don't deserve her."

He shot her, I turned and stabbed him square in the chest, it didn't help, and she was dead. The hell I went through the next few days, I kept thinking, "why didn't I just stab him, why?" I vowed if I ever though I was in that position again I wouldn't hesitate.

***

The dog called an ambulance. Me and the human lay there in two separate heaps. I was hoping he would live long enough to tell me his story.

The paramedics help us both, I wasn't as bad as I though, the bullet missed anything major, he wasn't in terrible shape, and he needed a tracheotomy to stay alive but nothing else. I saw him in his room after his surgery, he was able to talk. He told me his story, about his wife and how he felt when he killed Mira, the look on his face I saw that day I thought it was heartlessness, it was shock. I couldn't believe my ears, I had become him, he was once me. I left and went home, I arrived and found no one around, I went in my room and tried one last time to talk to Mira.

She appeared before me, this time I was first to speak.

"Mira, I'm sorry. I didn't listen, I should have. He was damaged running on instinct, like I was. Mira I... I don't understand, why don't I feel better, about this."

"Because, you have taken all you can from life, you learned your last lesson, now you miss the one thing you should have. Love."

"I don't want to feel love in my life I love you and your not in my life, you're here."

"Then come here with me."

"Thank you."

I woke up and I knew what I had to do.

***

So here I am I'm writing these, my last words, so that others don't suffer as I did. Learn from my mistakes. Take life slow; don't let things rattle your cage. My life is dry used up and useless. So, tell everyone you love you love them, don't leave it too late, experience the joys in life to the fullest. And don't let things pass to quickly, you might find yourself in this position, with nothing left to live for. Lastly protect the ones you love, don't let this letter be all in vain. My life is useless and dried up because I failed to do that, all other problems I have spawned from it. So please do it. Now if you are reading this you probably found me dead, let it be known I was not depressed I'm happy because I know that I'm going to be with Mira, the love of my afterlife.

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just as a side note, i may put out a sequel. not sure yet though.