Trepedation

Story by JKitsune on SoFurry

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This one-shot story goes into the at times sordid past of one of my ladies, Vanessa. It's also the first story that I have ever written that contains semi-explicit to completely explicit adult material (No implications here). As such, please be a little gentler with any critique in that respect...I'm rather new to the world of smut literature.3rd Place winner in the 2013 Golden Typewriter Challenge...Erotica Division

All characters (c) Ken J. Kitsune


Pulsing beats pounded through the large speakers at the front of the dance floor. Patrons of every kind packed the floor with drinks in hand to dance the night away. The darkness of the building shrouded the crowd in anonymity, creating a world where the cares of life are drowned by deafening music and sensual dancing. The bars were packed with people buying drinks left and right, while the bartenders struggled to keep up with the demand for strong drinks to satisfy the need to forget.

Two violet eyes, partially covered by black lens glasses, scanned the very dimly lit room. The vixen surveying the view leaned back in her chair at the bar and crossed one leg over the other. She sighed and raised an eyebrow at the sight before her. Her friends found a group of guys and immediately got to dancing in the middle of the floor. None of the men in that group interested her, so she decided to watch them from the bar. An empty glass with half melted ice remained on a coaster next to her hand. Her gaze shifted over to the bartender. "Hey...another Long Island Iced Tea," she said loudly.

The bartender nodded and took the empty glass away. As she waited, the vixen tilted her head back and closed her eyes. She let the music fill her head and enjoyed the buzz of intoxication that consumed her senses. A week ago, she was going through a nasty break-up with her now ex-boyfriend, whom she affectionately dubbed as, "A controlling, rude, possessive ass hole". In order to cope, she dulled her pain by listening to her music and occasionally drinking. The split left her slightly jaded to the concept of long term love, and she simply wanted to fill the void that was taken from her.

"Hey...Hey!" the bartender shouted. The vixen opened her eyes and looked over. "Here's your drink." He placed the glass next to her hand and went to the other people waiting for drinks. Her finger slowly traced along the cold glass as she continued to watch the scene unfold in front of her eyes. She grabbed her glass and took a long sip of her drink before swiveling her chair around and grumbling under her breath. She flipped a few strands of her hair out of her face and scanned the bar once more before putting her now half empty glass back on the bar.

A few seats to her left, another fox sat at the bar and took a small sip of his beer. He leaned back in his own chair and sighed in boredom. He loosened his neck and looked over to his right as he did. Immediately, his eyes caught sight of the violet-eyed vixen. In an instant, his boredom was replaced with thoughts of the young woman sitting just down from him. A grin formed slowly across his face. He got out of his chair and walked over to where she was sitting and leaned up against the bar.

"Not having any fun?" he asked. The vixen raised an eyebrow and looked over to see who it was before diverting her attention back to the floor. The fox squinted for a second at her lack of a response, but he shrugged it off and tried again. "Hey...what's got you bothered?"

The vixen took another long sip of her drink and sighed. "Is there a reason why you're here?" she asked with a slightly annoyed tone.

He snorted at her answer. "Just trying to start a conversation, baby..."

"DON'T...CALL...ME...BABY..." she shot back with a glare. She gripped her glass tightly.

"Well then, if I knew your name, then maybe I wouldn't have to call you that," he replied.

She turned her back to him and paused. "It's Vanessa," she finally said. "And yours...?"

He grinned. "Darren." He signaled to the bartender for some water. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"Ok, look," Vanessa said. She spun her chair around to face Darren head on. "Unless you have a good reason to be wasting my time, then I'd suggest that you get the fuck lost."

Darren took the glass of water and chugged half of it down. "Fair enough," he said, looking at the crowd of dancers. "Go ahead and keep sitting there by yourself. Keep watching your friends have a good time while you sit here alone and bitter."

Vanessa's eyes opened wide at his last comment. "No..." she whispered in her mind. "Not again." Her eyes closed back to where they were. "Fine...take a seat," she said with a hint of defeat.

The fox took the seat next to Vanessa and drank more of his water. His gaze returned to the vixen sitting in front of him, and his mind began to wander again. He could just barely make out her cleavage in the dimly lit bar, causing him to blush. Darren looked back up at Vanessa's face and was met with a slight glare.

"You know, my eyes are up here. You're not off to a good start, Darren," the vixen said. She took another sip of her drink.

"My apologies," he responded, "but with a chest like yours, how can one not at least take a look?"

Vanessa's glare intensified. "Strike two," she warned. "One more and you'll be getting my hand across your face." She quickly downed the rest of her drink. "Now, how about we try this one more time..."

"I guess I've been too blunt, haven't I?" Darren mused. "I'll try to be more subtle when I compliment you." He held his glass of water in his right hand and looked at the dance floor. "So how long have you been sitting here by yourself?"

Vanessa shrugged. "Eh...about an hour or so. I haven't been keeping track of time that much." She looked in the same direction as Darren and pointed to a group near the center of the floor. "See those girls? I came here with them."

Darren squinted to see better in the dark room. "Oh, the four girls over there?" Vanessa nodded. "They seem like they're having a lot of fun."

"Lucky them, huh?"

"Maybe."

"What about you? Did you come alone?"

Darren shook his head. "Nope, I came here with four of my friends too. See that group of guys dancing with your friends?" He pointed back to the same group that Vanessa singled out. The vixen looked over with a surprised look on her face. "Yep...that's them. I've already had my share of trying to surf through that cluster-fuck, so I decided to just sit and watch the night's events unfold. I'm not a major fan of stuff like this, but I do like to come here to enjoy myself on a rare occasion."

Vanessa continued to stare at him. "So you're saying that you come here when you're bored to try and pick up a girl and have a drunken good time at your place later, right?"

Darren shot a few daggers of his own back at Vanessa. "Excuse me? Since when did you become an expert at men and come to a grossly false assumption like that?"

"Am I wrong?" Vanessa alleged. "You're all alike! If I had a nickel for every time a guy pulled the same act you are right now to get me to spread my legs, I'd be a rich son of a bitch."

"Sorry to disappoint you," Darren responded. "But you're not getting a nickel from me."

Vanessa's eyes squinted at him, and she glared for a few seconds. "Never mind," she spat out. She looked away again. "I guess I should apologize for what I said."

"Don't worry about it," he said plainly. Vanessa's eyes glanced back at him for a quick second before going back towards the DJ and the dance floor. "So tell me, why aren't you out there with your friends?"

She shrugged a second time. "I really didn't want to come. They insisted." She rubbed her eyes. "They thought it would do me some good to just have some fun. Honestly, this wasn't my first idea of fun. I do have to give them some credit though." She smirked. "It's been a bit enjoyable watching them make complete idiots of themselves."

Darren chuckled. "See? There you go." He took another sip of his water. "So humor me, what would you rather have done than come here?"

"Hm...I don't know really," she answered. "I guess I never really thought of any other options. Since you put me on the spot, give me a second." She thought for a quick second, trying to drown out the pounding music in the background. "I can't really think of anything, but the music certainly isn't making it easy for me to concentrate." The two laughed at her joke. "I guess I just wanted to get out for the sake of getting out, and this was the most convenient option."

"There's nothing wrong with admitting that," he replied. "I'm sure they had good intentions for trying to get you out, even if it's to a place like this."

There was silence between the two for a few seconds. "They wanted me to forget," Vanessa said. Her grin faded to a solemn expression. "Rather, they wanted to help me forget...certain 'things'."

Darren's face took a look of concern. "I'm sorry, Vanessa. I didn't mean to bring anything up."

"It's fine," she said. "I know you didn't mean to do anything intentionally."

Darren nodded. Silence began to grow once again between them. He watched Vanessa's eyes look over to the side, while her face continued to show signs of depression. Though she said that she knew he meant well, he still felt very guilty over accidentally bringing up what seemed like sad memories. His mind scrambled for a way to try and make things up to her. "Hey," he finally said. Vanessa looked over to him. "Do you want to go to someplace quieter?"

One of Vanessa's eyebrows rose quickly. "Did you just hint at what I think you did? Because if so, I swear to God..."

"No no no!" he quickly interjected. "I don't want to try and do that! I told you already, that's not my deal." He sighed and tried to reword his request. "I was going to suggest walking through the park. I'm sure it's deserted."

Vanessa looked at him for what seemed like an hour. Other guys had tried to use that line on her, and each time she would fall for it. A red flag started to go up in her mind, but it was withdrawn just as quickly. This time, something in her mind let her know that this guy wasn't like the others. She felt oddly at ease. A small smile formed on her face. "You know what? I'd like that," she finally said. "I've never gone for a midnight stroll through the park." She placed a twenty dollar bill on the bar next to her glass. "Oh, I'm assuming you're driving."

"I was going to offer that, yes," he said, "but how did you guess that so quickly?"

"Well for one, my friends were my ride here, and second, I've had two of those Long Island Iced Teas."

Darren laughed. "Well played," he said with a smile. "All right then, let's get out of here."

Vanessa got out of her seat and followed Darren out of the dark and noisy bar and into the brisk late March air. The light breeze caused her to shake her head a little bit. It served as a nice wake up call to her and gave her a new but small burst of energy. Vanessa took a deep breath through her nose and exhaled slowly. Her gaze shifted above her, and her eyes caught a glimpse of a multitude of stars being accompanied by a half full moon.

For the first time since she arrived on campus, Vanessa was actually taking time to admire the sight above her. The magnitude and peacefulness of the view consumed her in an instant. She let her mind wander once again, and images from the past two years flashed by. Among the good that she was able to see, several things made her grimace and cause her hand to clench into a fist. She cursed under her breath several times and closed her eyes. Out of the blue, she was brought back to reality by a nearby voice.

"Hey Vanessa," Darren called out. "What are you doing?"

She opened her eyes. "Nothing," she said quickly. "I just got a little distracted."

Darren hit a button on his car's pendant, unlocking the doors. "No worries then," he said. He opened the passenger side door. "Hop in."

Vanessa hesitated at first. She had been down this road before, and her mind and body were resisting as a defense mechanism. Her heart, however, was able to override everything else, and she entered the fox's Chevrolet Cobalt. Once Darren closed the door for her, she buckled herself into the seat and waited for him to enter on his side of the car. It didn't take long for her to hear the door open and close to her left as he put the keys into the ignition.

"Ready to go?" he asked. Vanessa simply nodded. "Then let's go." Darren started his car and slowly drove out of the parking lot. His eyes scanned the roads carefully as they made their way out of the downtown district. "I hope you don't mind me driving, even though I just had a beer."

"I trust your ability," Vanessa said. "Besides, it's better that you drive than me. I know full well I'd probably get us arrested or killed if I were behind the wheel."

Darren grinned at her comment. His car arrived at a red light, which gave him his first opportunity to get a better, albeit quick, look at his companion. He was surprised at how young she appeared. "If I didn't know any better," he started, "I'd say you were no older than 18."

Vanessa sighed. "I promise you, I'm 21. It was my birthday three months ago. I'll show you my I.D. if you want." She started to rummage through her pocket and grabbed her driver's license. "Here, my birthday was December 31st."

He took a quick look at the card before giving it back to her and starting to drive at the green light. "Well, you've convinced me. I'm sorry for questioning you."

"You're not the first, and you sure as Hell won't be the last," she said. "So which park are we going to?"

"Orchard Park," Darren answered. "It's about another mile away from here. We should get there soon, I promise." He made a right down another road, and the inside of the car fell silent. This time, it was Darren's turn to let his mind wander for a moment. This was far from the outcome that he had expected for the night. Under normal circumstances, he would act as the designated driver for his drunken friends yet again. Everything changed the instant his eyes fell upon the young woman who was now leaning comfortably back into the car seat.

After a few more minutes, the car finally arrived at the entrance to Orchard Park. Darren maneuvered his vehicle through the front gate and into the closest available spot, which was every single one. He brought the car to a gentle stop and turned off the engine under the light of a streetlamp. For the first time, Darren was able to get a good and clear look at Vanessa, whose field of view was fixated out the window. His blue eyes started at her striped hair and went down her body to her feet. In simple terms, she was gorgeous to him. With the effect she had on him after just a few seconds, he could see she would be sick of getting attention from virtually every guy around her. He watched her remain motionless for a few more seconds before finally speaking up.

"Vanessa?" He gently tapped her shoulder. Her head turned quickly to face him. "We're here." She sighed and sat fully upright. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said. "I think the alcohol is starting to take its toll on me."

"We don't have to be here," Darren said. "I can take you back to your place if you want."

Vanessa shook her head. "No, I want to be here." She smiled. "It's nice...a lot nicer than that bar and my place for that matter."

The fox smiled in return. "You have a point," he said. "Let me help you out of the car. I'll be right over." Darren got out of the car and walked over to Vanessa's side where he opened the door like a chauffer. He held out his hand. "May I help you?"

"Thank you," she said as she took his hand and slowly got out of the car. Once she closed the door behind her, she looked up and stared into his eyes for a moment. Just as she did when they first spoke in the bar, she was put at ease by his presence. It was a feeling that was very foreign to her; it was something that she hadn't felt in several years. Finally, she broke the silence. "Well, where would you like to walk?"

"There's a nice walking path that goes around the perimeter of the park." He pointed to a long line of lamp posts. "It's paved, so we won't have to worry about tree trunks. There's also plenty of benches along the way too if you need to stop."

"Lead the way, Darren," Vanessa said.

The pair started down the path side by side. Neither one spoke a word for several minutes. Darren couldn't help but keep looking at Vanessa and admiring how she looked. He had never seen someone as unique as her, primarily because of her black and white striped hair. He couldn't help but wonder why she decided to go for such a drastically different look. Even her eyes were new to him, with a color that he had never seen in anyone he had ever known. He had so many questions about her and no answers to fall back on. Everything about her was a mystery to him, and he wanted to uncover whatever he could about her.

As he thought about her further, he remembered what she said about why her friends brought her to the bar. He replayed what she had said to him, about how she wanted to "...forget certain things". He could see the look on her face after she said that simple phrase to him. Whatever it was that she wanted to forget, it obviously affected her greatly. Part of him wanted to ask her outright, but reason told him that it wasn't his place to meddle in the personal affairs of others. Instead, he simply looked to his left and then down at the path ahead of them.

Darren saw a bench just ahead at the next post. He looked over again at Vanessa and noticed that she was slightly woozy. "You don't look too well," he said, finally breaking the silence. "Do you need to stop for a bit?"

"I think that's a good idea," she said. "I think we've been walking a bit too fast for me."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize we were going too quickly."

"It's my fault for not saying anything," Vanessa replied. "Either way, let's sit down. I think I'll start feeling better if we do."

Darren led her over to the bench and helped her sit down. He proceeded to do the same, but he left about a solid foot of space between them. The conversation was short-lived, as neither one spoke once again. Darren leaned back against the bench, let his head roll back, and sighed. He felt a cool breeze sweep across the park, which helped him wake up just a bit.

"Is this any better?" he asked.

Vanessa looked over to him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, is this any better than the bar?"

"Oh, yeah...at least I'm not getting hit on every fifteen seconds," she said slightly under her breath. Darren chuckled at her comment, which was met with a glance from Vanessa. "I mean it. It's a pain in the ass to constantly have to tell one guy after the other to go fuck off, especially when they don't take the first hint."

"I wasn't trying to make light of your statement," he defended. "I just found it funny that I actually met a woman that was trying to avoid getting attention. I mean, look at what you're wearing." Vanessa looked at herself. "Any girl wearing a top that shows as much cleavage as that does with a skirt as short as that is pretty much asking for it."

"I can assure you," she said with an annoyed tone, "that I wasn't trying to get anyone's attention or hopes up."

"Well, for someone who isn't trying, you sure as Hell got my attention with how you look."

"Says the person who claimed he wasn't looking for a quick fuck!" Vanessa shot back. "You lied to me, didn't you? You only wanted to get me out of there so you could try and get in my panties as soon as you could!"

Darren's hand hit the back rest of the bench with a loud slam. "Get over yourself!" he shouted. He quickly stood up and faced her. "Just because you caught my eye, doesn't mean I want to have a one night stand and then leave. Not all guys are like that...how many times can I say that to you? I don't know what you're trying to forget, but you're obviously not doing a good job at it!" Vanessa took a deep breath as her eyes opened wide at what he said.

Immediately, Darren recoiled at his last outburst. He sat back down and looked at his feet. "I'm sorry, Vanessa," he said. "That was uncalled for on my part."

"It's all right. I deserved that." Vanessa looked away again. "I guess old habits and bad memories die hard," she said softly.

Darren scooted closer to her. "Is that what you meant earlier when you said you were trying to forget certain things?" Vanessa didn't say a word. She just nodded in response. "We don't have to talk about anything that you don't want to bring up. It's your personal business, not mine."

"It's all right," Vanessa said. She looked back over to Darren. "You deserve an explanation. Besides, I think I need to talk to someone about this. I think it'll help me."

"Fair enough," he said. "You can start wherever you want."

Vanessa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She exhaled slowly and re-opened her eyes. "I don't know where to truly begin." She looked ahead of her into the darkness of the central lawn. "I guess I could start during my last year of high school. Back then, I was decently popular. I had a good group of friends and I had my sisters with me too, but I was also popular with the male population of the school." She put a hand on her chest. "These were the reason why. They all wanted to see whether what I had was real or not."

"If I may ask, are they?"

She nodded. "They are. A lot of the girls were jealous of me. If anything, I was jealous of them, because they weren't 'blessed' with what I have." She paused for a moment. "As a result, I never dated anyone in high school. I didn't want to put up with such bullshit. Over the summer before I came to Penn State, my sisters and I got to talking about each other. They knew how my looks affected me, and they were able to make me a more confident woman before I left for school. I can't thank them enough for what they did. At the same time, they may have made me too confident."

"You could probably guess that this isn't my natural hair color." She put a hand through her hair to emphasize her color pattern. "Believe it or not, I'm a natural blonde." Darren's eyebrows rose in surprise. "True story, but I'll save that for another time. Long story short, I discovered this by accident, and I thought it fit me perfectly. I would walk around campus with my new hair style, and the guys couldn't help but look. I loved it. I loved the attention from afar that I was getting. It felt so good that I could impress guys that I thought were more mature at the time."

"But I have to guess that your opinion of them has changed, right?"

Vanessa sighed. "You know what they say, 'Hindsight is 20/20'." She rubbed her legs for a second. "Anyhow, about a week into being on campus, I met a guy that seemed to not be immediately entranced by my assets for a change. We hit it off quickly enough, and we started dating. Things were great at first. He seemed to be a nice guy overall, and we got along pretty well. Despite all the flirting I did before this, it didn't bother me to be in a committed relationship." She laughed in spite. "That changed quickly enough. Three weeks later, he turned into a controlling ass-hole. He was checking up on me way too often to be considered all right. I guess he was paranoid that I'd keep flirting with other guys. It only went downhill from there. I got fed up with him pretty quickly, and I broke up with him. Needless to say, he didn't take to it very well. He kept trying to contact me afterwards. It wasn't getting any better after a few days, so I distanced myself from him as much as possible."

Darren nodded. "So how did you get him out of your hair?"

"My group of friends at the time helped decently enough with that. We would go to the one place that he wouldn't set foot in: the clubs. It turned into a pretty fun weekend ritual. We'd go to different places across the town, but the one that we went to the most turned out to be where I ran into you." She grinned. "Funny how things work out, eh? Like I said, it turned out to be a lot of fun. Most of the time, I would just hang out with my friends and dance with them. On a couple of occasions, I'd find a guy to dance with. A few times, I'd try to meet up with him a second time outside of the club. All total, I ended up dating three of my dance partners. Each one said the same things to me. They would say how they thought I was beautiful and how they wanted to be with me. They said all things I wanted to hear, and I ate every word like it was candy. Talk about bad liars...each relationship ended within three weeks."

Darren looked on as she continued her story. "That's so sad," he said. "I can start to see why you were so leery of me at first."

Vanessa sighed once again. "That's barely the tip of the iceberg. Those two little stories were nothing compared to what I did afterwards."

A look of concern came across Darren's face. "Vanessa, please...you don't have to bring up these memories if they're going to upset you." He got up. "Come on, let's keep walking."

"No," she said sternly. "I want to do this. Please...let me keep talking to you, Darren" Darren nodded and formed a weak smile as he sat back down next to her. "Thank you."

"It's no trouble," he said. "By all means, continue. I'm all ears for you tonight."

Vanessa took a long, deep breath and shut her eyes tightly. A small tear formed in the corner of her eye. As quickly as it formed, she wiped it away and shook her head. "I'm sorry. Maybe it's the alcohol, but I usually don't have to hold back crying this much."

"Don't hold back," Darren assured. "You don't have to censor anything. I'm not going to judge you, if that's what you're thinking."

"It's not that," she said. "It's just...this is a portion of my past that I'd do anything to forget." Another tear began to form in her eye. She took several deep breaths and looked up at the night sky.

"After that little stretch, I got to thinking about what I was doing wrong. I thought about each instance and tried to find a common link to why things ended so quickly. Not too long after I started thinking, I came to a conclusion. They all left me for girls that put out. It seemed as though the girls that were having sex were holding on to their guys a lot longer and seemed to be a lot happier." She coughed. "Coming to that conclusion set me up for the biggest mistake of my life." Her eyes went from the sky to the ground beneath her feet.

"There was a guy that I had my eye on. I had noticed him for a few weeks around campus, and I started to grow a liking towards him. He wasn't the perfect man. I mean, he looked to be a bit crass at times, but he also seemed to have his good qualities about him. The guy had a bit of a wild side to him, which really got attracted to him. So after talking to a few of my girl friends, I decided to approach him and tell him how I felt."

Darren's eyes locked on to Vanessa. "I'm guessing he said he didn't feel the same way?"

Vanessa shook her head softly. "If anything, he said the same thing to me. We decided to hang out in his room one night to get to know each other a bit better. We each had a drink, but we were far from drunk or even buzzed. The majority of the evening was spent just talking about whatever came into our minds, and I was completely fine with that. Later on, though, he leaned in and kissed me. Needless to say, I was a bit stunned, but he told me that he liked me a lot. Hearing those words made me feel secure for once. I actually felt happy knowing that someone really cared. I said the same thing to him and returned his kiss. He started to lean into me and lay me back on his bed while our lips were locked."

A pair of tears ran down each of Vanessa's cheeks. "My heart was telling me to stop in every way possible, but my mind was telling me that this was what I needed to do. I didn't want to lose this chance at happiness, so I ignored my heart. I let my mind and body go on auto-pilot. In what seemed like the blink of an eye, we were both naked and pressed closely to each other. Until that point, I had never done anything sexual with any man. He told me what to do, and I did it willingly. I touched him everywhere he guided my hands. He brought them down to his dick, but I hesitated at first. He assured me that it was all right, and that's all it took for me to grab it. I could feel how turned on he was...he felt so warm in my hand." Her breathing became slower and deeper as she tried to hold back from breaking down on the bench. Darren could see how distressed she was, but he didn't know what he could do for her. As he was about to bring a hand to her shoulder, she continued.

"Soon enough, he brought my head down to his crotch and instructed me on how to give head. As I took him into my mouth, I could almost feel my heart aching at what I was doing. At that point, however, my mind and body were in control. I can't say that I completely loved what I was doing at the time, but I thought that I'd get used to it. After a minute or so of doing that to him, he laid me back again and spread my legs open. I asked if he had protection, which he showed as he put it on. He slowly climbed over me and looked down. I put on a bit of a smile to show that I was ready, and that's all he needed." More tears began to fall. "The next thing I knew, he sank himself to the hilt inside me." She looked away from Darren and used her shirt to try and dry her eyes.

"There was a searing jolt of pain as he went in the first time. I couldn't help but cry a bit, but he told me that it wouldn't hurt anymore after that. I thought he'd go slower to let me get used to it, but he didn't hold himself back after that. The next three minutes were the longest moments of my life. My body was being overloaded with so many feelings of pain and pleasure as he fucked me. The voice in my mind, however, was only assuring me that I was doing what I had to do to keep him. I couldn't help but moan and writhe with each thrust into me. After what seemed like forever, he came. I was breathing heavily, I was sweating, but I was happy. I curled up next to him and whispered that I loved him. He simply nodded and went to sleep...I never heard him say that he loved me too. That should have been a warning to me for what would happen next: He left before I woke up."

Empathy washed over Darren in an instant at her final statement. "That's horrible," he said softly.

"Yep," Vanessa spat out. "I lost my virginity in a one night stand. But here's the best part. The next day, I tried to talk to him about us. He just went along as if nothing had ever happened. I poured my heart out to that fucker...I gave him myself...and he threw me to the side like garbage. It's incredible, isn't it?" She snorted. "Thank God nothing ever became of us." She looked back over to Darren with a glassy eyes sneer. "So tell me, what about you? I'm sure you've had your fair share of one-nighters, eh?"

His eyes narrowed. "I thought I made it clear to you already that I'm not like that. Then again, maybe the alcohol is getting to you more that you thought." Vanessa glared at his comment. "I'll say it one more time. I'm not like that. I'd be lying if I said I was a virgin, but at least I don't stoop so low as to have one night stands to get my rocks off. I never did, and I never will."

Vanessa's glare softened. Something clicked in her mind as she looked at him. "You've been serious, haven't you?" Darren nodded at her question. "I'm sorry. I should have believed you the first time you said something. It's just so hard for me to believe someone who says that."

"With such a bad experience like that, I don't blame you," he said. Darren finally made his move and started to gently rub her shoulder. Vanessa recoiled at his initial touch and gave him a surprised look.

"I'm not trying to make a move on you, I promise," he assured while bringing his hand back. "I just wanted to try and be supportive."

For the first time since first meeting up in the bar, a weak smile came across Vanessa's face. "You have been," she said. "Listening to my drunken ranting has helped more than you can believe..." Her smile faded again. "...but I'm not quite done." She sighed. "There's still a bit more."

"Go on then," Darren said. "I'll keep doing what I've been doing well."

A faint chuckle could be heard from the vixen before she started again. "Needless to say, I shut myself away from everyone for a few days afterwards. I couldn't stand being in the same room as that guy, let alone on the same campus. Unfortunately, it turns out he was associated with some of my friends, so it was unavoidable at times. I would just pretend as if he didn't exist, but it didn't completely help me forget what had happened. One day, I saw him with another girl, and I found out that they had gotten serious with each other. I couldn't control myself once I knew. I found him with his new whore, and I slapped him across the face as hard as I could. Exactly what I said, I don't remember. All I know is that everyone in the room heard me curse up a storm." She leaned back into the back rest, and her head fell back a bit. "After I ripped him a new ass hole, I made a promise to myself. I said that I would never fall for a guy like I did in the past. I was going to use my sex appeal to play with them and then drop them like I was dropped so many times."

"So you were getting revenge vicariously through others?"

Vanessa nodded again. "That's how it was for the remainder of that school year. I thought that if I'd do the same thing that he did to me, then I could feel better about myself. Initially, it worked. I'd reel a guy in and get his hopes up higher than a kite. If I thought he would be fun, I'd let him think he could win me over. Sometimes, it led to sex. Other times, it didn't. I didn't keep count of the number of times I fucked and left a guy, but I'm sure it can't be too small of a number."

Darren raised an eyebrow. "Are you talking double digits?"

The vixen waved a hand. "Oh no, not that many. I'm not a complete whore, but I did fool around with a few of my 'victims'," She stifled a hiccup. "Like I said, it was helping numb the pain for the most part, but there was still this small part of me that couldn't shake the stinging feeling. No matter who I fucked, I still felt hollow deep down inside. The satisfaction of breaking hearts just wasn't enough. I just ignored the thought...I figured that it would go away soon enough."

Her companion leaned back against the bench. "It didn't, did it?"

"Nope," she answered. "It still hasn't, actually. I didn't start to reconsider things until I almost got myself in a lot of trouble." Vanessa sighed and forced back another tear. "Some of my girlfriends and I were at a club, and I was still using my game plan of teasing and leaving. I caught sight of a wolf on the dance floor, and I made my move on him. Things went smoothly at first; I was getting him going, and he was completely under my control, or so I thought. After I left him hanging on the floor, he kept on pursuing me. He hit on me at the bar a few times, but I denied him. It didn't get worse until I left the club."

"What happened?"

"He followed me out the door. I looked back, and he made another move on me. I called him a few bad names and pushed him away, which turned out to be a bad call on my part. He got pissed off and pinned me against the building. His hand made its way up my shirt, and he started roughly squeezing my breasts. 'You shouldn't have done that, bitch. Now you're mine...' was what he was growling in my ear. He tried to kiss me, but I bit his lip. Again, not a smart call, but it was all I could think to do in order to get away. I tried to run back into the club, but he grabbed my arm and slammed me against the wall again. He wrapped one hand around my neck while his other hand went under my skirt. Two of his fingers slipped inside me, and I started crying. 'You want this, don't you?' he whispered in my ear. I shook my head violently and started whimpering the word 'No' over and over. He told me that my pussy said otherwise, and he kept going." She shook her head and started crying as the memories flooded her mind.

Darren was stunned at the information that she was telling him. All he could do was watch the tears flow from her violet eyes and wonder what he could do. Without thinking, he leaned over and held Vanessa close to him. Vanessa didn't resist, and she continued to cry into his shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him and clutched his shirt tightly, forming wrinkles on his back. Darren slowly did the same and cradled her in his embrace. The two remained intertwined for several minutes as she sobbed bitterly. A hand made its way to Vanessa's hair, and Darren began to gently rub the back of her head. After a minute or so, Vanessa took a few deep breaths and released her hold on him. She sat back up and looked at him. "I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"It's all right, Vanessa," Darren replied. "But please, don't feel as if you have to continue."

"I'm fine," she said. "That's the lowest point of this story." She wiped her eyes on her shirt. "Let me finish." Darren simply nodded and let her go. "I honestly thought that I was going to be raped right there. I closed my eyes and prepared myself for what was about to happen next. What did happen, though, was the biggest surprise of my life. Remember the guy that took my virginity?" He nodded again. "Well, he was apparently at the club and saw what was happening. He ran up and clocked the guy across the side of his head. The wolf looked up and got another fist to the face. I don't remember what either of them said; I had slumped down against the wall and started crying again. I heard footsteps getting softer and realized that it was the wolf that tried to rape me. I looked up, and that familiar face was holding a hand out to help me up. I stood up and looked at him for a minute. All I could say to him was 'Thank you', but what he said after that stunned me: He apologized. He apologized for what he did to me all those months ago."

"So what did you say?"

"I told him that it was nice of him to finally apologize, but I couldn't completely forgive him. He understood and offered me a ride back to my dorm. I accepted. We didn't say a word to each other the entire way back. Once we arrived, I thanked him again for saving me. He smiled, nodded, and drove off after that. That turned out to be the last time I would ever see him." She kicked her feet just above the ground a few times.

"What about the wolf?" Darren asked. "What happened to him?"

"Well, once I was by myself in my room, I called my friends and told them what happened. Two of them came by my room a few minutes later and spent the night with me just to make sure I was all right. When I told them what the guy looked like, one of them recognized the description. We called the police the next day, and he was arrested for assault and attempted rape." She knocked on the bench twice. "He's still in prison to this day."

The fox took a deep breath and sighed. "Well, at least that ended as well as it could." He looked up and then over to Vanessa. "So what did you do afterwards?"

"You would think that something like that would flip the switch in my head and make common sense take over," she said quietly. "I was still young and very naïve...About a month later, I was back at it. This time, though, I didn't go for the quickies. I at least learned that lesson. I actually tried to give relationships a go again, but I was still going for the same ass holes that I despised. Like I said, old habits die hard. Fortunately, however, the school year came to an end about a month later, and I could go home for the summer."

"Did you tell your family what was going on?"

Vanessa laughed sarcastically. "If I told my mother what happened at that time, I wouldn't be alive right now." She sighed. "I had to lie. I loved my family too much to tell them what I had done, so I went through the summer as if nothing had happened. Soon enough, I was back for my second year. Once the year started, I was back in the dating scene, and I found a guy. Unfortunately, it wasn't all roses after a little while. One of my friends saw what had been happening to me from the start, and she decided to take matters into her own hands. She called my mother and told her EVERYTHING. Needless to say, she didn't take this lightly. That night, she stormed into my room unannounced. I had my boyfriend over at the time." Darren raised an eyebrow. "We weren't doing anything, if that's what you're thinking. Anyway, I had never heard my mother yell like she did when she saw me. She kicked the guy out of the room, locked the door, and sat me down for the longest talk of my life." She thought about that night for a moment before continuing.

"She couldn't believe the things I had done, and she went through the entire list and asked if they were true. To her dismay, I didn't lie about anything. Her first big question to me was a simple word: Why."

Darren stared intently into her eyes. "What was your answer?"

She paused. "At first, I couldn't give her an answer. I danced around it the best that I could. Obviously, she didn't take too well to that and kept pressing for a decent answer. After some yelling on both of our parts, I told her the best answer I could think of. I told her that I wanted to be loved. I wanted to feel secure. I wanted a man that would make me happy and say how he couldn't live without me. I told her that I was willing to do just about anything to get that." She chuckled. "Oh boy, did she have a few words for me after I said that. We spent the next five hours yelling at each other and crying on and off. For a while, we were getting no where fast and just getting each other more and more frustrated and angry. At about 4am, she asked one more big question: Why did I keep on doing what I was doing when it obviously wasn't working?"

"I'm guessing that was when the light went on, right?" Darren asked.

Vanessa nodded. "That stopped me dead in my tracks. It was at that moment that I realized what I was doing to myself. I remember crying harder than I had ever cried in my life at that point. My mother didn't say anything; she simply hugged me and let me go. I kept on repeating how sorry I was for everything that I did, and she simply nodded and assured me that it was all right. She was just glad that she was able to get through to me before I did something incredibly stupid. After that night, I vowed to her and myself that I would never make the same mistakes ever again. She didn't tell me to stop dating all together. She just wanted me to be more mindful and careful if I ever decided to do anything." Her gaze went straight ahead of her and into the night. "I've kept that promise to this day, and I guess it could also explain why I was so jaded to you...that and the alcohol, of course."

Darren chuckled lightly. "Of course...we can't forget about that."

Vanessa giggled as well. She took one final deep breath and shifted herself on the bench. "Well, that's pretty much it. I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me tonight, Darren. I know you're pretty much a total stranger, but I felt comfortable with you. I hope you understand where I'm coming from."

"I think I get you," Darren said. "You don't have to consider me as a stranger, though. I think we're acquaintances now." He stared at her for a moment. "Vanessa, could you do something for me?"

"What is it?"

"Would you take your glasses off? I want to see your eyes. I want to see what's hidden behind the black lenses."

A small smile formed on her face. "If you insist. After all, it's the least I can do," she said. She slowly took off her glasses and looked straight into his eyes.

Darren was star-struck by her gaze. He had only been able to get partial glimpses of her eyes before, but now that he could see them fully, he couldn't believe how stunning they were. The fox was at a loss for words to describe her deep violet eyes. "Thank you, Vanessa," was all he could say after a minute of silent admiration. They both smiled quickly before Darren looked at his watch. "Whoa...it's almost 2am! I guess you probably want to go back to your room."

Vanessa put her glasses back on and shook her head. "We don't have to rush back. If I remember correctly, you owe me a walk through the park."

Darren laughed. "You got me." He stood up and offered his hand to her. "Shall we?"

She smiled and took his hand. "Yes, let's go."

The two started down the path once more side by side. A cool spring breeze led them through the occasionally lit trail and brought about a shiver to them both. Small talk would start between them, but it would be nothing compared to the previous two hours spent on that lonely bench. That same little breeze swept away the sadness and the pain within the vixen, leaving a new start for Vanessa; a much needed fresh start to the rest of her life.

As if by magic, her hand floated over to Darren's hand, and their fingers slowly intertwined...