A Blurb on Burb: Burb Dogs Talking About Burb Dogs, Ch 4
A Blurb on Burb: Burb Dogs Talking About Burb Dogs Ch 4: Kitten-Chaser (Casey) on Burb Dogs in General
So, hi! My name is Kitten-Chaser. My record label uses my initials K.C., but 'Casey' is just fine too. I'm here today for three reasons. First, because I was told I could have a chance to set people straight on the increasing trend of Human/Dog relationships; second, because my publicist says that it'd be a great time to discuss my upcoming "Waggin' Train" tour; and third, because my manager thinks it'd be a good thing for this country to have more press conferences that are both educational and not related to criminal offense.
Anyway, I think it's probably important that we cover some ground rules. First, this is a discussion on Burb Dogs, so other than me discussing my "Waggin' Train" tour in my introduction, and again just then, we are not talking about my music or about my modeling... I'm here to help provide insight into Burb Dogs and the Burb Dog lifestyle. Second, I tend to be really animated and I use my paws a lot when talking. So for anyone listening in on the radio or reading a transcript, you probably won't be able to see when I do this... or this... or this-- and if you're watching on TV, they'll probably blur out this. Finally, I'm not an expert on Burb Dogs... I just happen to be one, so if you wanna take what I say with a grain of salt, go ahead-- but that just means you're being rude by taking up a seat someone else could be using.
So... Burb Dogs. I guess there's a lot someone could say about us, but the whole reason I'm here is so that everyone can get the story right from a Burb Dog's muzzle. Nope-- it's not an act; I am an honest-to-goodness 100% Burb Dog, and proud of it. Well... I wasn't ALWAYS proud of it, but that's the reason why press conferences like this are important-- people need to know it's okay that you can be who you are. Not only that, but there's nothing wrong with being a Burb Dog, no matter what the haters say.
I guess the best way for me to explain Burb Dogs is to say that Humans and Dogs are both social creatures. We like to be part of a group and we like to have others around. Both species enjoy having people in their lives, and we all feel better about ourselves when we have someone telling us how great we are and showing us how much we mean to them. Burb Dogs and their Leashers just happen to like doing all that kind of stuff between the species. It's as simple as that, but it's surprising how many people don't like the idea of Burb Dogs.
Different people have different ways they go about it... whether it's being surrounded at parties by people they barely know, having a few close friends spend time together, or cuddle up with that special someone on the couch it's really about getting that interaction with others. Just like people have their own special ways to handle 'me' time, it makes sense that people have preferred 'we' time too. Most people have a "best friend" or their "go-to" chum and their different buddies probably have different reasons for being their buddies... and that's a perfect way to explain the relationship between a Burb Dog and a Leasher.
So, while we're on the topic of what people like and the different tastes everyone has we should probably discuss why I'm talking about Burb Dogs as a whole group and not focusing on one or two of the different mini-groups people always bring up. Yea, I've heard about Good Dogs and Bad Dogs and Guard Dogs and Puppy Dogs and all that kinda stuff, but to me they're all pretty much all about the same thing: Dog plus human equals happy... why should we complicate something as simple and tail-waggingly wonderful as that?
Some people say that Dogs become Burb Dogs because they don't fit in with their 'own kind'. The only thing I can say about that is "double-you-tee-eff, people?!?!". I mean, since when is there some kind of standard about who we can or can't hang out with? Did we suddenly go back to the dark ages and say that Humans and Dogs can't be friends? I have plenty of Dog buddies and plenty of Human chums. Being a Burb Dog doesn't mean I can't get along with Dogs, it just means I like humans. I've also heard that some people think that Burb Dogs secretly want to be a Human-- that is also total crap. There's a difference between Burb Dogs and Furfrees. I don't have anything against Furfrees... I just don't happen to be one.
Not all of the hate is directed at Burb Dogs either-- I've heard plenty of stories about Leashers getting their fair share of nasty things said about them, and that's just as unfair. In my experience Humans that seek companionship from a Burb Dog are usually very kind and compassionate. Sure, there's some bad eggs in there who are looking for a chance to dominate or abuse, but, hey... you can get that in any relationship anywhere. Really, it comes down to the fact that Leashers are Humans that aren't afraid to learn how to get along with a Dog just like a Burb Dog is a Dog that wants to get along with a Human.
Oh! I almost forgot... this is a dollar coin. Do you know these are a lot more common in Europe? Apparently the United States is one of the few countries that still likes using dollar bills. And, before anyone asks, no, I didn't pull this out to give an economics lesson... I want to make a point. These coins are legal tender, but most people don't bother using em. They aren't all that common but most people never pay em any mind. If you go looking for em then you can find em, but most people never look twice.
So what's the point I'm getting at? Dollar coins are a lot like Burb Dogs and Leashers. Just like dollar coins Burb Dogs and Leashers aren't as uncommon as you might think; most folks overlook em without giving it a second thought. Burb Dogs and Leashers are also like dollar coins because not everyone is looking for me... and, it's a sad fact of life that, although they can be true friends, most folks are perfectly happy selling em for a buck. Hold on a sec while I put this away... cause I'm not one of those people.
I have a few friends that collect dollar coins... true story. Even though each coin's worth just as much as a dollar bill they're willing to spend their time collecting em. Most people don't care and will just as soon use it to buy something off of Micky-D's dollar menu. You know the real difference between coin collectors and people who don't collect coins? Far as I can tell there isn't really any difference besides the coin collector liking coins. So... difference between a Burb Dog and Dogs not looking for a Leasher? You guessed it-- far as I can tell there isn't really any difference besides the Burb Dog liking Humans.
So how do Burb Dogs and Leashers find one another? Well, it's not as easy as putting out an add in the newspaper... though I'm sure a few folks've tried. You can go on websites dedicated to meeting others but I don't usually hear happy endings coming from that. Most often I'd say Burb Dogs meet their Leashers through mutual friends or through a group they're both connected to. Every now and again, though, luck shines down from above and a Human and a Dog just run into each other and BAM... they each get sore noses... and might just make a connection.
Just like any relationship though, it isn't just about meeting... it's about keeping that interaction going. My mom always used to tell me that "first impressions get your foot in the door but there sure as heck-fire better be more to you than looks and a smile or that door's gonna get shut and you're losin' a toe.". Her words, not mine... I don't usually go around saying "heck-fire". I'm sure she's recording this too... Hi mom! Love you! Anyway-- even if a Burb Dog and a Leasher end up meeting there's still no guarantee that they'll be long term BFFs... that's as complicated as it is for anyone else.
Ya know... just like any relationship, there's a lot that goes into making a Burb Dog & Leasher thing work. Personally, I like to think of a healthy combination of Human and Dog means that there's a whole lot of give and only a little bit of take-- after all, if you're both giving then there won't be that much more needed, am I right? Being a good Burb Dog means understanding Humans better than most Dogs do, while being a good Leasher means knowing more about Dogs and being willing to find shed fur EVERYWHERE.
Most Burb Dogs I know tend to let their Leasher lead in a relationship; from choosing where to eat out to what movie they're gonna go see, I'd say a good portion of us like following our Humans around... kinda like a four legged dog, actually... right down to showing off and suffering from separation anxiety if we're away for too long. I mean... I've seen some Burb Dogs practically go neurotic when they're deprived of their Human for too long. But, then again, to be honest, I've seen some Humans do the exact same thing-- a really good friend of mine calls being around his Dog an 'addiction'.
So how can you tell you're a Burb Dog? Well... I guess nobody's story is exactly alike, but there are a few similarities. Having an easier time dealing with Human bosses than Dog bosses is a big one that most Burb Dogs subscribe to. Almost all Burb Dogs like wearing collars... or at least neck ties; a lot of people claim it's because Burb Dogs are secretly into S&M, but don't believe word of it-- collars for Burb Dogs don't deal with that kink. Finally, most Burb Dogs usually find themselves wagging a lot more when they have someone they consider a special Human around.
Then what makes a Human "special"? Well... if I knew it and could put it into words I'd probably write a book about it, but I can't think of anyone who's THAT good. I mean, that's like asking someone what attracted them to their future husband or wife-- they'll probably give you a good long list, but people are more than the sum of their descriptions and words'll never do it justice. Really it comes down to the fact that nobody is attracted to the same thing, and I mean attraction in all its ways, not just "wow she's hot" or "man, he has a great body"... I mean the things that really matter... the things that'll move you past the foot-in-the-door phase.
I guess what I'm really getting at is that Burb Dogs are just like any other Dog out there, and Leashers are just like any other Human out there. The one difference, and it's a small one, to be honest, is that Burb Dogs really like interacting with Humans and Leashers really like interacting with Dogs. Of course, to any Burb Dog out there or any Leasher out there, that little difference means a whole lot. So next time you hear someone talk about Burb Dogs, making us sound like some kind of social blight or some corrupting presence for your kids and pups, just remember: I collect coins, and I'm damn proud of it.