Ander - Part 2: Subchapter 22
22
Sarah couldn't help but giggle softly as she climbed down the steep rockfall towards their little meeting place, her hands rhythmically grabbing each knot in the rope Kadai had hung from the top. Going down backwards was still a bit tricky, but infinitely simpler than it had been that first time. Safer, too.
And speaking of Mr. Wolf, he had a little surprise coming, and it was that thought that kept making Sarah burst into childish giggles. She'd have to keep that under control if she didn't want to ruin -
"And what's so funny, if I may ask?"
"Gah!" Sarah nearly jumped right out of her skin. She looked over her shoulder and there he was, looking up at her with that big, goofy grin of his. "Kadai! You nearly gave me a heart attack just now!"
Kadai held out his arms. "C'mon! I'll catch you!"
It took Sarah all of one second to abandon her better judgment and kick off against the rocks, falling backwards through the air with her arms spread wide and her clothes rippling against her body, so trusting was she of him.
Her insides seemed to flip upside-down as he caught her in his big, strong arms, the sensation causing her to laugh out loud, a sound devoid of the worries and responsibilities she would face later in life.
"What smells so delicious?" Kadai inquired, burying his muzzle against her stomach, actually tickling her with his sniffing. "Is it you?"
"Eeehe!" Sarah playfully swatted him upside the head. "Maybe if you put me down I'll show you."
Kadai set her down and Sarah began the intentionally slow process of searching through her pack, drawing out the surprise for as long as she could.
"Oh, c'mon! Now you're doing it on purpose!" Kadai said. Teasing him was always so much fun.
Okay, enough torture. Sarah pulled out a big piece of chicken pie she had smuggled out of the house, just for him.
"Is that...?"
Sarah nodded, holding her gift out to him. Kadai had such a thing for chicken, probably because they didn't have any this side of the Cora. "It's gotten a bit cold, but it should still be perfectly -"
Kadai seized the wedge of pie and shoved the whole thing into his mouth in two huge bites, little bits of flaky crust sticking to his lips and fluttering down to the ground like snow. There was a particularly big piece stuck right in the middle of his nose, and Sarah couldn't keep from laughing as he tried to lick it off. In a slobbery, voracious kind of way, it was rather cute.
"Was it good?" Sarah asked, rocking backwards and forwards on the balls of her feet.
"Very. Thank you."
"You've still got some on your face there."
"Where?" Kadai's surprisingly long tongue flicked over his face, first one side, then the other. He missed both times.
"Get down here," Sarah said, motioning for him to come closer.
Kadai leaned in close, and Sarah took the opportunity to do something she never would have thought she'd have the courage to do. She placed her hands on either side of his face and gave him a kiss on the mouth, quick as a hummingbird.
Kadai pulled back a little, his eyes wide, and Sarah feared she might have messed up everything they've so carefully built up over the past year in one fell swoop. She stood frozen, her hands still nestled in his fur, trying to decipher the look on his face.
The moment stretched on and on, until she couldn't take it anymore. "Kadai? I'm so sorry. I -"
He suddenly closed the distance between them and locked his lips over hers. The sensation was unlike anything Sarah had ever experienced before. Oh, she's kissed many a Fox, no doubt about that. As the only daughter of a wealthy landowner there was never any shortage of promising suitors vying for her attentions, but this? Kadai was much bigger, of course, but even such an obvious difference was barely noticeable before the sheer passion with which he held her, squeezing her tight, blocking out everything except for each other.
Sarah felt that if the gods chose that exact moment to strike her dead for her sins, she would die a happy vixen, and every second spent in eternal hellfire would be totally worth it!
Looking back on this moment, she would later resent the gods for not doing exactly that. Things would have been so much easier if she could have died in his arms in that exact moment. Then she wouldn't have had to go through the hell that followed. So much blood and pain and sorrow. What did the Greyfurs know of hell? A fiery pit after death is not hell. Living on after your happiness has been shattered into a million pieces, just living and living... that's hell.
"By the Cora, what do we have here?"
Kadai broke their kiss, and Sarah found herself dismayed by its brevity rather than the unknown voice that existed somewhere outside of his embrace, where nothing really mattered to her anymore.
"Wardo, you filthy bastard!" Kadai growled. "You followed me!"
The urgency of his voice forcefully knocked Sarah out of her little fantasy stupor, as much as she would have preferred to stay there. She looked over her shoulder, her hands still resting on Kadai's chest, and saw the second Wolf of her lifetime.
This one wasn't quite as big as Kadai, but the trio of scars tearing their way through his mangy grey and black fur gave him an aura of viciousness she didn't get from the one in her arms, and he wore the most horrid grin, as if he had somehow managed to steal all their bliss for himself, sucking it out of the air like some parasite and replacing it with panic. Sarah could feel it tightening around her heart like the tendrils of a creepervine, covered with jagged thorns.
They were found out! Their little secret was no more! Things might never be the same again! The thought alone was enough to make her feel nauseous.
"Well, I am the best tracker, even if I do say so myself," the newcomer said, that creepy smile never wavering, "but to be honest, Chieftain, even a novice could have tracked you down here. You really should be more cautious, especially when running a sneaky errand such as this..."
"What do you want!?"
"Why all the yelling, Sai? I was merely curious as to where you kept disappearing off to. It was starting to become rather obvious, you know. But who would have thought I'd catch you doing something like this? And with a Fox, no less! As I live and breath..." The Wolf Kadai had called 'Wardo' started to laugh. A low, menacing sound, filled with so much glee it was almost perverse.
"This is none of your business, Wardo!" Kadai said. "I will give you only one chance to leave. You'd better take it, otherwise I swear by the Cora I will rip your throat out!"
"Ooh, how right you are, Chieftain. This is none of my business. But, you know what? I know someone. You know her, too. And I think this is very much her business, wouldn't you agree? I wonder what she would say if she found out..."
"You wouldn't dare!" Kadai said, but his voice had lost all its authority. Now he just looked frightened.
"Kadai? Who is he talking ab -"
Kadai suddenly backed away from her, as if her touch had burned him. He turned his back on her and bit down on his hand, something she's only seen him do a few times before, when under a great deal of stress. Even though she couldn't see his face, she knew he must be wearing a look of utter dismay.
"Kadai? What's wrong?"
"By the Cora," Wardo said, looking from Sarah to Kadai and back to Sarah again, his grin growing into a full-blown smile. "She doesn't know, does she? You never told her!"
"Shut up, Wardo!"
"Told me what?"
"What's your name, little Fox?" Wardo asked, his voice practically dripping with syrup.
Sarah didn't like the idea of speaking to this Wolf directly. To be honest, he scared her greatly, but what choice did she have? Her hand crept up to her neckline of its own accord and squeezed compulsively, bunching up the fabric so that it pulled tight against the back of her neck. "My name is Sarah."
"Ah, lovely. Well, you see, Sarah, the Chieftain here has been keeping a little secret from you." His voice had taken on the tenor of a teacher trying to explain a difficult sum to a particularly slow student. "And dark times are upon us indeed if I turn out to be the most honest Wolf around."
"Shut up, Wardo!" Kadai thundered.
"Oh, forgive me, Sai! You should be the one to tell her, of course. How rude of me."
Kadai spun around and advanced on him, blood dripping form his hand, but Wardo didn't so much as flinch, not even when Kadai stood over him like a totem, his teeth bared. "Why are you doing this, you slinksy little bastard?"
"I have my reasons, Sai," Wardo replied, calm as can be. "Now, are you going to tell her, or should I? I'm actually hoping for the latter. It would be so much... fun..."
"You shut your filthy -"
"Tell me what!?" Sarah screamed, loud enough to sting her throat. She didn't mean for it to come out so strong, but she couldn't help herself. She could feel a dark tide rising up against her happiness, and she would do everything in her power to make it ebb, but she couldn't do that if she didn't know what she was facing. She had to get an answer, and she would scream herself hoarse if she had to.
"Sarah, I..." Kadai stammered.
"Oh, this is so... delicious..." Wardo said, rubbing his hands together. "Well? Go on, Chieftain. Or do you plan on telling her from all the way over here? A bit cold of you, I'd say -"
Kadai grabbed Wardo by the throat and slammed him against a nearby tree hard enough to make even the topmost branches shudder. The greasy Wolf's eyes bugged out in their sockets, and a wet, gargling sound came from his throat as he scratched and clawed at Kadai's hand.
Kadai leaned in close, said, "I'll deal with you later," and released him to sink down to all fours, spluttering and heaving, clutching at his throat.
Now Sarah was starting to feel fear bloom along the creepervine that was the panic around her heart, bursting open into pitch-black blossoms of terror. She has never seen Kadai act that way, not_ever_. But even worse was the smile she could still see on Wardo's face. After all that, he was still smiling.
Kadai approached her and placed both his hands on her shoulders. She could clearly see the teeth marks in the webbing between the thumb and index finger of his left hand, still bleeding.
"Sarah?" he said. "I haven't been entirely honest with you. And I apologize for that. It's... I didn't..."
"Just tell me, Kadai," Sarah said, trying to ignore the way Wardo was struggling to keep his giggles under control, whether because they hurt his throat or he didn't want to miss anything was difficult to say. "Whatever it is, I know I'll forgive you."
Kadai took a deep breath and uttered the words that would change the path of Sarah's life forever. "I have been mated to a she-wolf named Shekka these past five years. We have a son together. His name is Banno, and he recently turned four."
Sarah stood frozen, unable even to blink. She understood every individual word, but strung together in that order they just didn't make any sense.
"Sarah?"
She could feel the creepervine tighten around her heart until its thorns pierced her flesh. She could literally feel it digging into her.
Five years? Five years!? This whole time he could see she was falling in love with him and he has been keeping this colossal secret since the day they first met?
Sarah slapped his hands away, suddenly disgusted by his touch.
"Sarah, please don't -"
She slapped him across the face as hard as she possibly could, much to Wardo's delight.
"Ooooh! Foxy's got claws!
Sarah backed away, her palm tingling. She's never felt so angry in her whole life. "A wife and child, Kadai!? We've been seeing each other a whole year and you've never told me!? Were you ever going to!? Or were you just planning on stringing me along like some plaything!?"
"Of course I would have! Told you, I mean! Not the..." Kadai floundered, rubbing his cheek. "I've tried to so many times, I just never knew how! And I didn't want to risk ruining everything!"
"Wait, this has been going on for a whole year?" Wardo interjected. Sarah and Kadai both ignored him.
"How could you? You've turned me into a harlot! Some piece of meat on the side!"
"What!? Of course not! I have never thought of you like that! Not once!"
"Then why did you feel the need to keep your family a secret? You must have known what you were doing was wrong, or you would have been honest with me from the start!"
"She's got a point, you know," Wardo interrupted yet again.
"Shut up!!" Kadai and Sarah both shouted together.
"Sarah, can't we just please sit down for a while and talk this out? Like we've always - Hey, where are you going?"
Sarah couldn't take this anymore, and nothing he said could change the simple facts. He had deceived her.
"Sarah, wait!"
She grabbed hold of the rope and started to climb back up, pulling herself along like a vixen possessed.
"Sarah!"
She wouldn't look back, partly because she never wanted to see his face again, partly because she didn't want him to see the tears she couldn't hold back any longer.
Dammit, why was she crying!? She didn't want to feel like this! She wanted to be angry! She wanted to be furious! She wanted to hate his filthy lying guts!
So why did she feel so sad? Why did she feel so empty?
She reached the top like it was nothing, and despite her previous conviction, she couldn't keep herself from looking back, just once.
Kadai was talking to that Wardo Wolf. The conversation looked quite heated, but she was too far away to make out any words.
"Goodbye, Kadai..." she whispered and wiped the tears from her eyes. She refused to let any of them escape. No tears of hers would touch the ground this day. Not for him.
With her head held high, she started on her way through the winding pass that would lead her back home, to Grovenglen.
She managed to make it halfway before she collapsed to the ground, her sobs echoing back and forth along the pass as if the Cora itself was mocking her.
She tried to keep her tears from falling to the ground, but her grief was so severe she felt like it would tear her in half.
They fell past her fingers, one by one, onto the hard, stony earth of the mountain.
I know there's a bit of an age difference between Sarah and Kadai, but Kat Von D and Nikki Sixx were together for quite a while and they were 23 years apart, so there ya go. Plus, Sarah's lived a very sheltered life, so I can see how Kadai would appeal to her. I actually find it very interesting to compare these characters in their youth to how they are in the present, seeing what has changed and what has stayed the same. Kadai and Sarah seem to have gone through major changes as they grew older, while it looks like Wardo hasn't changed at all.
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