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Well here it is! Chapter 12 which most of you have been scratching at the door for!!

It's taken a while I know and I'm sorry to you all!!

I've done my best the proofreading but there will be a few things that would have missed as sure as eggs are eggs! If you could let me know if you see any I'd be very grateful!

Also I've been trying to give Jayson a more of a normal English vocabulary for where he comes from (still not narrowed down which county I want him to have come from.

Also I've got my backside back on twitter so I can keep you all updated on what's happening in my travels around New Zealand and most importantly for you all in what I happening in Silver and Gold!

https://twitter.com/poneyboyfur

Hope you like it!!!

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­­­­­Silver and Gold - Talk - Chapter 12

Safe, warm and content where the only words I can find to explain how I feel right now, that feeling of ease and serenity gently washing over me, somehow knowing that everything is going to be ok.

Something large and heavy moved over my right hip as lay on my left, my check pressed into short denes fur instantly bringing a smile to my face knowing who it belonged to.

I cracked an eye for it to be instantly met with a blurred black and tan mass, only to increase my smile to a very happy grin.

The large paw gently moved over my hip as the rest of the arm pulled me closer to the large furred body that my arm is draped over. Taking in a deep breath while softly pressing my nose into his chest and letting his scent fill my lungs as I try and nuzzle deeper into his fur, a mix of scents made themselves known to me but most of all the link to his scent meant more than anything.

My mate.

"Hay that tickles" the soft rumbling of Kris's voice brought me back to the room.

"Sorry did I wake you?" I didn't even have to open my eyes as I just went back to resting my check on his large chest licensing to his bodie's rhythm.

"No I've been up for a while now, your very affectionate when your asleep by the way" I didn't have to look to know he was grinning.

"What do you mean?" I slowly opened my eyes as I turned to look at his.

"Well you very clingy, not that I mind" the grin grew bigger "you nuzzle along with the odd squeak and whimper"

He leaned in a little and licked my nose "Just like a little pup" he let out a chuckle as I let out a groan of disapproval.

I rubbed my wet nose with my free hand as he just continued to chuckle, in doing so it occurred to me that it should had been a little further from my eyes and a lot darker.

"When did I change?" trying to change the subject a little.

"Don't know, you've been like that since I woke but that's kind of normal"

"What do you mean?"

"Well its normal for a newly changed were to change back because it puts a lot of stress on the body but also because you're a"

I carefully moved my hand up and gently close his muzzle as he spoke, he gave me a confused look before he smiled giving off a light chuckle as I remove my hand returning to his soft chest with my cheek.

The bed shifted as another large arm wrapped itself around me while its owner moved to lie on their side completely engulfing me in his arms and fur. He pulled me closer to his chest and hooked his chin over the back of my head, I could feel his breath on the back of my neck which just sent shivers down to base of my spine giving me that warm tingly feel you only get after having pins and needles.

As we lay their dozing in each other's grasp, feeling the rise and fall one another's chests, the odd movement of a hand or paw and most of all the sense of peace and calm between us.

I could feel the to and fro of each breath running over my neck and shoulders, each sending light pulse of pleaser through me as it passed over the little love bite I had received last night, it kept me between that blissful state of not being quite awake to really know what was going on but enough know I was safe and happy.

Taking in his scent as I softly pressed my nose into his chest was all I needed as the memories of last night played out before my closed eyes, the smile he gave me as I held him in the bathroom shone the brightest along with his eyes as I said that all important word.

"What are you smiling about?" His voice softly rang in my ear.

I just continued to smile "I was thinking about last night"

"Hhmm Me too" he rolled over onto his back pulling me with him which did come as a bit of a shock as the world just seemed to move around me.

I looked up from his chest to see a gleaming set of teeth and a glowing pair of eyes to match just like set from last night, I couldn't help but mirror it as I resigned myself to waking up but only slowly.

We just lay together, slowly letting the outside world making itself known as the sounds of the day softly came to life, but sadly I am one of these people that when they are a wake they are a wake but for some reason having a large soft Doberman to doze on seemed to break that habit.

With each breath I took the more I remembered from last night aided by the scent of Kris but most of all the strong male musk that hung in the air and most defiantly the bed thinking back.

Kris gave me a little squeeze consciously or not but I suddenly was made very aware that I needed to take leek, but I was torn between making a quick dash for the toilet or staying and dozing. Unfortunately the latter was winning.

Looking up to Kris see if he had drifted off, I silently hoped he was asleep as tried to slowly wriggle and pry myself free. Slowly lifting his right arm whilst trying to pry his left paw from my hip but trying to lift an arm that is about a foot bigger or more than your own is not an easy feet let alone a large paw holding you to the said owner and having to do it behind yourself .

With a soft push Kris's arm slipped from me, now there was just the arm and paw to deal with. I lifted my head that was resting on his bicep trying to see my target a little better, I put each of my finger tips to his and gently pushed his up and away from my hip.

"And where do you think you are going?" his paw slipped between mine as each finger lock around each of mine.

His eyes were still closed but the smile showed that he was very much awake, the git must have been pretending!

"To the bathroom, why? Do I need my alphas permission?" his smile grew.

"Maybe? Why should I let you go? Hhmm"

"Because I may end up wetting the bed"

"Sounds like you need to be house trained"

"Yeah and you need to be trained full stop" he let out a small grown as he opened his eyes to peer down at me.

"You're a quick little pup! Just make it as quick as you are or I'll get lonely" he softly kissed me on the top of my head and unfurled his large arms.

I shook my head lightly as I carefully moved myself the edge of the bed, I looked back at him to see that he was watching me intently.

I leaned over and kissed quickly on that large twitching nose of his "and you call me a pup when you're just as bad"

I heard a groan come from him as I stood up from the bed , I carefully moved over to the bathroom with a slight limp, all the way I could feel his eyes on me.

"Are you alright?" I looked back to see his sat up and looking concerned.

"Yeah, it's just a little stiff that's all"

"You sure, it looks painful?" In truth it was but I didn't want to concern him but I just needed get it moving.

"I'm fine, don't worry about it ok" I said as entered the bathroom to only have to bite my lip to keep a pain filled moan in as sat down on the toilet.

All of a sudden heard a series of pops, clicks and a moan or two could be heard from the bed room, it took me a moment to work out what was happening.

I sat their doing what I needed but my thoughts took me last night but more about so about the future, I knew I wanted to be with Kris and Kris wanted to be with me but to be honest I am new to this whole relationship thing and how Luke and Jane might react. Is this sort of relationship he and I have normal or accepted?

"Jayson, are you alright?"

My head shot up, he was crouched in front me I hadn't even noticed but he was holding my hand as he looked at me softly.

"Yeah I'm fine, just thinking is all"

"Liar, I know something's worrying you and I know that your hip is still hurting" he squeezed my hand softly while letting out a sigh "please tell me what's worrying you or if you're confused by something because if I don't know I can't help you and it pains me when you keep things bottled up"

I sat there a little stunned, he has given me his heart and I mine but he sees that I still need help, be it without me having to even say a word. How does he do it?

I did the only thing I could, I brought his lips t mine.

He was a little surprised but he soon court on, it wasn't hard or lust filled like it had been the previous night but soft and tender. It had meaning and love to it, it was the only way I could say 'I love you' other than saying it.

Our lips parted but eyes kept their focus, he gave me a warm smile which I couldn't help but mirror.

"Are you finished?" he asked as he stood, I gave him a confused look before I cottoned on.

"Yeah" he help me up to my still uneasy feet and pulled me into a tight hug, I couldn't help but blush a little as the realization of both of us being naked as his skin touched mine.

"So what were you thinking about?"

I let out a soft sigh "I was thinking about the future and what could happen to you and um ... us" he let out an amused chuckle.

"What happens is what happens you nor me can change that fact not even my meddling farther can do that, but I know one thing is that you and me are going to be together for a long time"

His hands slipped from where they rested on my back to just above each hip, his words seemed so calm and thought-out. As if he knew just what to say to help and relax me, he almost sounded 'grown up'.

We just continued to look at each other seeing all that the other had to offer but knowing we would never have to ask for the other for their love or loyalty.

"I don't know about but you I could use a shower after last night" one hand had already opened the shower door and he was almost pulling me in with him "would puppy like to join me?"

I could do nothing but smile and blush a little as gave me a slightly cheeky smile while standing in the shower with nothing but his birthday suit.

I accepted and carefully stepped in, I thought it would be a bit of a squeeze for the both of us but we seemed to have ample room not that we wanted to be that far apart from each other.

He quickly got to work on the shower, setting it to nice hot temperature but being a bit more a bath type of person it could have been nice to have it a little hotter but think Kris had plans for that.

He handed me some shampoo and we soon got to work on cleaning the smell of rutting males off are selves, but going by the looks that he was giving me I had a fair idea that I may be taking a lot more showers in the future.

We had both finished our hair and started doing the rest of our selves or might I say we should have but Kris had started washing me, he started at my shoulders with a soft circular motion working a good lather up as he continued his way down my back slowly.

They soon moved to my chest and stomach still working a slow rhythm and a good lather, his chest became flush with my back as he gently pulled me to him giving him much more room to roam, which he took full advantage of.

He work his hands all over my chest, rubbing and softly grazing my nipples with his nails making me quietly moan out each and every time he did so.

His actions where almost maddening as he would keep his hand moving but always teasing my hard and slightly stinging nipples, every now and then his teeth would nip my shoulder making my moans louder.

His pace changed a little as his started to slid lower and lower with each little graze and rub of his finger tips, working their way down to my groin yet again to a only make me moan out as his tips dances ever so maddening and teasingly around my turgid shaft but never touching, only adding to my need.

He kept up his infuriating actions as he just seemed to enjoy my moans and begging whimpers, but he kept his pace as all I could do was put my hands to the sides of the shower as my knees grew week.

Still he danced around and teased my acing shaft to only have his grind and rub against my cheeks, his nips had long since turned to soft bites and licks. Every time his tongue slid across his bonding mark a loud moan would escape my lips almost making beg for him all the while the hot water flowed down over our hot skin.

He seemed to take pity as he gave me one last kiss to my bite and take my throbbing acing cock into his hand giving it a hard pleasuring squeeze with an equally forceful pump. My hips thrust on their own accord as pleasure quickly engulfed me.

I screamed out in searing pain, my feet slipped on the floor as my legs gave out for the burning pulsing pain that came from my hip.

"What's the matter? Are you ok?" Kris caught me before I could land but all I could do was hold my agonising hip as it felt as if my hip was slowly dislocating itself.

"My hip ...... it Fucking hurts! ..... Please put me down .... Slowly!"

"Are you sure?"

All I could do was nod.

He slowly and very worriedly lowered me down the shower floor with the odd moan and groan of pain from me. He quickly turned the shower off and grabbed a few of towels, he draped one over my shoulders and one over my hip and legs whilst helping me to lean back against the shower wall.

"Are you Ok? Do you want me to call mum?" the concern and worry was plane and clear in his voice but all I could do was smile a little as he fussed over me.

"No I'm fine, think last night was a bit too much for it. I just need to keep it still and take it slowly for a while"

"Really? I really want to give mum a call about this!" His eyes kept darting from my hip to my face trying to work out what to do.

"No there's not much point as there isn't much she can do anyway other help for the pain but even that can be detrimental"

I gave him a warm smile as the pain slowly started to slip away but he knelt next to me holding my hand as he and I are still dripping.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have mar" I cut him off with a kiss to the cheek.

"Don't say that! Last night was one of the best nights of my life and loved every moment of it! And I would do it again in a hart beat, even with the pain!" I softly put my lips to his giving a loving and caring kiss to the one I love most.

"It just seems that this is going to take some time to heal properly, so I think we should take it easy for now, if that all right?"

"Of cores, I don't want to hear a sound like that come from you ever again" He sat down next to me keeping happy and company waiting for the pain to be bearable to move once again.

I slipped my hand into his as I lent angst him a little, not for support but just to let him know that I'm getting there, he squeezed my hand a little every now and then.

I moved my leg a few times testing to see what happened thankfully each time the pain would lessen with each little stretch and twist much to Kris's delight.

I slowly sat up away from the wall waiting for the pain to strike but nothing but a dull throb which was more than bearable, with a quick question to Kris he scrambled to his feet as he helped me up onto mine. The dull pain would pulse once or twice but I pushed through much to Kris's dislike as he insisted I sat back down but I wanted to get up onto my feet, if only for a short time.

With a great deal of help I managed to get there with the odd wobble or more, I put my arm over Kris's shoulders and we made our way out of the shower where Kris promptly but very carefully sat me down on the toilet for him to only rummage in the small cupboard to the side.

"Hear take these and no buts!" he handed me small packet of pills and a fresh glass of water, they were only paracetamol which wouldn't be as strong as what Jain had given me but they would take the edge of it. God I hated it when he got bossy but I knew he only meant well, I took 2 pills and a large gulp of water and hoped that they would not make me as sleepy as the others but most of all keep Kris happy.

I set the glass and the packet on a small cupboard next to me, there was a small mirror or what I would call a vanity mirror just to the side of me and unfortunately I manage to catch a glimpse of myself.

"My god I need a shave!" running my hand over my jaw feeling the course, rough centimetre long black hair and quietly cursing puppetry as all teenaged males do but I my case the affects seemed to be a little more potent as I had start shaving when just before my fourteenth birthday, and by the time I was 16 I was shaving every morning.

It wasn't just the fact that I had to shave regularly but it was the amount that grew that seemed most annoying because not only did the facial hair start to make itself know from a young age so did the hair on my chest, across my shoulders and the rest of the normal places. By the time I reach the age of 15 I had well developed mat of chest and back hair which for some unknown reason most of my friends seemed very envious of.

I heard a rummaging sound coming from one of the other cabinets broke me away from my refection to only see Kris pull out a razor and some shaving foam, I expected him to hand them to me but he place the razor on the side of the sink whilst wetting hands to only squirt a large amount of foam into his hands.

"Hold still!" he had a very authoritative tone to him as he stared to rub and massage the foam into my week old fuzz without giving me a chance to protest.

"What are you doing? I can do it myself!" I tried to push him away but he gave me a small growl but a warm smile.

"I know you can but I want to do it for you"

"Why?"

"Because I want to and it's all I can do at the moment" he taped my on my nose leaving a little white peek behind as rinsed his hands and picked up the razor wetting it under the tap. My eyes went wide.

"I think I can do that myself" I gently took hold of his wrist.

"Please, I want to!"

He looked a little upset that I had stopped him but at the end of the day he was holding a very sharp object. I could see that he was genuinely concerned for me and that he cared deeply for me.

With a slight sigh I released his wrist, I could see a smile creep across his lips just as he used his free hand to cup my chin turning my head a little.

He started just below my Adam's apple with short quick strokes he worked his way up to my chin he would stop to wash the razor and to look at his work. He moved my head from side to side and angle to angle after each stroke, I was a little concerned at what he was doing but after the first couple of minutes pasted and there hadn't been any sign of pain or blood so I relaxed a little.

From what I could see he was thinking and concentrating on what he was doing very carefully but I could also feel that he was not shaving all the facial hair off but he was leaving areas alone, I wanted to ask him what he was doing but as he had the razor I though it be a better idea to ask when he had finished.

"I think that will do" he said after giving my face a quick and carful wash with a damp towel making me feel like a small child a little.

He stepped back to see his 'handy work' as if he were some artist, I ran my hand over my face felling the smooth skin but also the rough areas of hair he had left behind. I looked into the little mirror to see that he had left the areas around the sides of my jaw giving me some quite large sideburns.

They weren't the like some of the sideburns that you see country people wearing but these came straight past the ear down to the corner of my jaw and a long it a little, a bit like a thick blunt letter L on each side of my face.

"I'm not too sure what to think about these?" I looked turning my head side to side still not sure what to make of them. I have never been one for a facial hair much.

"I like it and it looks nice, you look a little older too"

"True but I dun know" I was still looking into the mirror as Kris stared to move around a little.

"If you still don't like them by tonight I'll take them off, how about that?"

"Ok?"

I could hear him start moving around the bedroom, I felt I had given the pain killers enough time which seem to be correct as I slowly eased myself off the toilet onto my feet. I did wobble a little but the pain did not surface as I made for the other room.

Kris had removed the bed sheets going by the pile on the floor and was now in his chest of draws evidently looking for some clothes before he noticed me sitting on the edge of the bed with a pillow hiding my modesty.

"What are you doing that for? I've seen you naked!" he said as he walked, well half strutted over to the bed with only few clothes in hand nothing else.

"I know but still it just doesn't feel normal and well it's embarrassing" I could feel the familiar heat spread across my face.

"Well you didn't seem that embarrassed last night or this morning" he gave the normal grin as the heat only increased on my face.

He started to get dress with normal artier of jockstrap, shorts and tight shirt, I watched from the corner of my eye as looked as if we're looking at the few pictures the other way. I knew he wouldn't mind me watching, knowing he probably wanted me to but I just didn't feel normal even with the current circumstances.

"I know you're watching" Damn him!

"I hate you!"

Once fully dress he quickly gave me a kiss on the cheek to only say "I Know you don't"

Noticing that he not offered me any clothe gave me the impression that he wanted me to stay and rest my hip which I could understand but as I could feel the onset cabin fever creeping over me with the all 'rest' and lying on a bed for hours on end and sleep might seem like fun but it was starting to do my nut in!

"Could I borrow some clothes? Please" I did feel a little out of place asking.

"Why?"

"Well I don't really want to go down stares naked" the thought of it alone sent a shiver up my spine.

"You should rest, mum would have a fit if I let you do any more than you should"

"Kris Please, I'm getting a little annoyed with every one telling me what to do! I know you all mean well but I want to do something even if it's only getting from one room to another, I'm slowly going off my rocker doing nothing" to be honest I am extremely grateful for what they have done for me but I just want to do something for myself.

He looked thoughtful for a short time obviously concerned for me, both physically and mentally "Ok but promise me that you'll be careful!"

"I promise!" he still didn't look sure about this but he still gave me a kiss on the cheek.

He moved back to his chest of draws and after a quick rummage through most of them he passed me a small pile of clothes which consisted of a red sleeveless top with some sort of logo on it, a black and green track suit bottoms and much to my dismay a rather brightly coloured item of clothing.

"Do you have anything else that I can were? Like boxers or briefs" I softly asked as I held the bright blue and yellow jockstrap.

"No sorry, it's that or nothing" I could very easily see that he wasn't the slightest bit sorry with the grin he is hiding and failing at doing so.

Giving the offending item a second look and sighing as I carefully stood, slowly sliding my right foot through the correct hole, the next I was going to be a little more difficult as could feel the scare start to twinge at the thought of it. Slowing taking the weight off my left leg and gently adding it to the right, my hip started to complain but I could cope with it as long I went slowly.

Carefully lifting the foot while trying to get the strap in the right position and the foot in the right hole was a little interesting but the main problem was the bending over as it made the scare and hip stretch in different ways than it was evidently us to. The fact I had an audience didn't really help matters much.

Biting my lip a little while trying to pull the jockstrap was more than a little painful but I was determined to do it, the foot made it through the right hole and I slowly placing my foot back down to the carpet whilst straitening up pulling the rather awkward felling underwear with me.

I stood there a for a short time trying to let the lightly throbbing hip calm down a touch, doing so I became very much aware of a rather large set of eyes looking at my midriff or the back of it to be more precise.

"What are you looking at?" I cast a look behind me looking to see if anything was amiss.

"Nothing, just admiring the view" letting out a little chuckle he stood whilst picking up the tracksuit bottoms, "put your hands on my shoulders"

"Kris, please I want to do this on my own!"

"I know but I would never forgive myself if you fell over, I saw that you were in pain and had difficultly just putting that on! And presides mum would beat the crap out of me if you hurt yourself"

I so wanted to do this on my own, just to be able to get dressed nothing more! I know he means well but I just ... well I just want to have a little normality for once.

I tried to give a smile but I think it just looked like was a little upset with him.

"I know this really pisses you off but it will get better and easer, we just need to give it some time" I hated it when people used my own words against me and that they were right!

I looked him in the eye and all I saw was love, I still had doubts and fears mostly about myself but the way he looked at me made them a little less worrying and scary.

"Ok" I carefully placed my hands of his shoulders.

He helped me with the tracksuit and my top, which was a little tight as it seemed to show off my muscles a bit more than I would like but judging but the looks he kept giving me it may have been the idea.

He helped me out of his room as I was ordered to put my arm over his shoulders and as he put his arm around my waste, I did try and protest saying that I could manage it on my own but all I got was look that said 'do as your told', we slowly made our way down stairs with a little bit of discomfort and the occasional sharp breath from me as my hip moved in a way it disliked much to the worry of Kris.

He tried a few times to get me to go back to bed but my mind was set on having breakfast in the kitchen come hell or high water, and as we were over half way down. I managed to convince him that I would be ok and that I would be better over flat ground, which thankfully I was as we both made it to level ground then onto enter the kitchen.

He didn't have to hold or support me to much as I made my way around the table and took a seat on one of the padded chairs, I could see a relieved look about him as he soon started working a coffee machine and a few other appliances around the kitchen.

When the coffee machine had finished making noises that sounded similar to someone trying to be sick he poured me a large cup with a small amount of milk and poured one for himself.

Slowly taking a large mouthful I savoured the wonderfully rich nectar, picking each and every flavour I could find whilst holding the cup just below my noise and drawing the rich steamy air into my lungs. My first coffee in more than a week, god I'm going to make this last!

"This is Kenyan Arabica isn't it?" He looked back in the cupboard where he had put the ground coffee pack back.

"How the hell did you know that?"

"I love coffee tiss all"

He gave me a smile and continued to move around the kitchen looking in cupboards evidently looking for something until he pulled a packet of ready mix of some kind and proceeded to mix it with milk until it looked like a thick-ish batter.

I couldn't quite see what he was doing as he had back to me, which might have been part of the plan knowing him, so I relaxed back into the padded chair closing my eye and proceed to enjoy my coffee.

All of a sudden a set of hands slipped over shoulders down to my chest making me jump a little as they did so, much to the amusement of the owner of said hands who then proceeded to kiss and nuzzled the top of my head. Which by the way is a rather odd but not unpleasant sensation I might add.

"Hhmmm my little beta" his fingers tickeled my ribs making me wriggle and laugh lightly.

"Stop it!"

"Why?"

"I said so! Stop it you over grown pup" he laughed as withdrew his hands from my ribs.

"I thought William was your beater any way?" even before I finish speaking I felt him tense and tighten behind me.

He said nothing but gave off a low growl and the clicking of this knuckle's as he tightened his fists.

"Kris what's the matter?"

"Nothing!" was all I got as he went back over to whatever he is cooking.

"Sorry but it doesn't sound like 'nothing', what happened?"

"NOTHING HAPPENED!" the way he shouted at me did shock me a little but the way he look concerned me the most, he didn't look mad or angry but more worried and scared.

"Kris judging by the way your reacting it is most defiantly not 'nothing', tell please I won't get mad" I tried to keep my voice calm and steady as I got up to move to him "I might be able to help"

He looked thoughtful for a few short moments "I thought I had lost you"

"What do you mean?" I leant on the table just a couple feet from him opposite from where he was leaning on one of the work tops with his back to me, he looked at the floor the whole time.

"You know when you ran off when Will said ...... Well you know what he said" I gave a slight nod.

"Well after you ran off I was so mad at what he did and he only smiled at me, I just flipped" I could see his hands gripping the worktop and they were turning white from the knuckles.

"What do you mean 'flipped'? What happened?" he let out another low growl.

"I don't really remember but I know that dad had to pull me off him and that ...... well he was bleeding"

"Why would you do that? He's your friend"

"He is not my friend!" he spun around glaring at me with his brightly glowing eyes "If he was he wouldn't have said what he did" his eyes shone with rage and anger as he looked at me.

"Kris can't you see that he still has feeling for you and that he's hurt by what happened between you two" his eyes grew a little with shock but the anger stayed.

"What do you mean?"

"Your dad told me what happened and how it ended, he's upset and hurting!" staying calm and not raising my voice all I could do from making this a full blown row.

"That has got nothing to do with it!"

"Yes it has! How would you like it if I changed my mind over the way you're acting now?" he looked shocked and wide eyed for a moment before it turned back to anger and glaring. I cut him off before he could start "You would be hurt, sad, and angry wouldn't you? And you would hold it against me that I did that to you"

The anger faded and his hands dropped from edge of the work top, he knew I was right but was too proud and stubborn to truly admit it.

"Fine what do you think I should do?" he let out with a small huff.

"I think you should talk to him" his head shot up and he looked as if I had smacked him.

"NO FUCKING WAY!! I am not talking to that little whelp! He's the one started all this shit!" he almost roared at me with anger.

I had to close my eyes and bite my lip to stop myself from balling my fist and hitting him.

"WILL YOU PLEASE STOP ACTING LIKE A SPOILT BRAT! You're the one that bloody started this by dumping him without decent reason, you're the one that hurt him! So don't you dear start having a go at me just because I'm just trying to help and that you don't like the fact that you're in the wrong!"

He look at me for a short moment with complete and utter shock before he stood up and leaned a little closer to me to only say "Fuck you!" glaring at me the whole time.

He walked out of the kitchen followed by the sound heavy of footsteps on stairs with the slamming of a door shortly behind.

I stood there for a short moment taking in what had just happened in such a short space of time, putting my face into my hands letting out a heavy sigh "Fuck", was all I could say to the empty room and very quiet house.

I stood there with my face still resting in my hands as leant on the kitchen table not really knowing what I should do be it apologise or kick him in the backside, I felt torn and a little worried as to what this might lead too.

I let out another sight still not sure what to do but the sound of my stomach gave me little hint as to what I should do, at least it shouldn't lead to a shouting match again.

Slowly removing my hands looking around the empty kitchen not knowing where anything was let alone what to have so I carefully and quietly started looking in draws and cupboards looking to see what was about and that shouldn't make much mess or take up much time.

Thankfully the hip was starting to behave as the pills and the gentle movement seemed to be having the desired effect as is was able move much better and freer, I still had a bit of a limp but it was a great improvement most likely owing to the fact of my abilities and species.

Flower, eggs, potato's, cheese, milk and the other normal food stuffs you would normally find in a kitchen were all I could find, I settled on a favourite of mine but ultimately rather easy, crispy gnocchi with poached eggs. Hopefully it will give Kris enough time to calm down and me a good self-made meal.

Before I could even start to look for a pot or pan a strong pungent smell that everyone knows what it is before they see it, something burning. Quickly finding the sours of the smell and pulling the plug from the socket and lifting the lid to see what was burning.

It was what Kris had been making before it all kicked off and judging by the pattern on the inside of the lid he had been trying to make waffles but the ready mix bag was the main give away, I managed to get most of the charred remains out from the groves and set it next the sink with a damp cloth to help get off the rest to soften the remaining bits.

I set about making the gnocchi, it did take a little time to find the pots, pans a few other things that I might need then I set into a rhythm of prepping, sorting and then cooking, something I was more than use to and loved. Step by step moving from one thing to another without much thought or concentration about the outside world as I slipped in to a little trance of my own, only watching at the pots and pans in front of me as I mashed,chopped, fried and poached.

The gnocchi were lightly browning in a pan of butter as I just started to poach the eggs when a figure appeared by the door and lent on it for a short time, I never looked at him as he watched me but from the corner of my eye I could see him watching me just as intently as I watched the eggs.

He stayed there for a short time seemingly not sure what to do apart from watch me as I cooked. I was a still a pissed with him but in some way I could understand why he did what he did, he's scared.

"Could you keep an eye on these please and make sure they don't burn" I never looked at him but I could see from the corner of my eye that he tensed and hesitated slightly before he coming over and watched over the gnocchi for me while did the same with the eggs.

His eyes and head where low as he did what I asked but there was no sign that he wanted to talk.

Just before the eggs where done I ask him to pass the plates. He did so without a word but he was quick to do so, I placed 2 eggs and a good portion of gnocchi on each plate with small amount of quickly made tomato sours that I had simmering in a small pan to the side.

Walking after being stood up for a so long was a little uncomfortable but thankfully the distances between the cooker and the table wasn't too bad, after placing his plate next to mine I took a seat. He looked a little unsure in what to do but soon he sat next to me.

"Dig in" was all said as I took my first mouthful, I couldn't concentrate much on the food as I was keeping an eye on Kris from the corner of mine.

"I'm sorry"

It was barely even a whisper but I heard it but most of all he said it!

"Me to" I look at him and for the first time I noticed the redness around his eyes and how bloodshot they were, he's been crying.

He sniffed a little but gave me a small smile, it was really different to see this side of him but it was nice to know that he wasn't always so macho and full of himself. He just needed to control his temper a little and tone down his pride just the same but even I have things to sort out with myself when it comes to us, I know from very little experience and knowledge that every relationship takes time and patience to at least have a chance.

We ate mostly in silence, there was the odd comment about the food but the topic didn't really get any further, he and I both knew that he was avoiding a certain subject that had put us both in this situation.

I wasn't mad or angry with him, yes I was upset with the way he just seemed to flip but I was more concerned for him. He is evidently still hurting from what happened between him and William and I could see the fear that came from it.

"Why don't you want to talk to him?" I had slipped my hand over his and held it gently.

He said nothing but closed his eyes and sighed "is it because you're scared of getting hurt?" he shook his head softly.

"Is it because you're worried what might happen in the pack?" and again he shook his head.

"Is it because you're worried what he might try and do to me?" yet again he shook.

"Ok is it because you're worried that your dad might not want you to bond with me or be the next alpha?" he looked up at me a little shocked "I told you I over think things a lot!" he smiled but still it was a no.

"Then what then? I want to help please!" he seemed to just deflate as rubbed his eyes with his free hand.

"It's because it's my fault and I fucked things up not him" I squeezed and rubbed his hand comfortingly.

He looked so troubled as thought things over, I just wanted to hold him but he had to do this, he couldn't just keep it berried beneath all his bravado and macho maleness. He had to open up and show his softer side if only to me, I know it was and is hard for him being an alpha having to look after but also having others look up to him. It's a vicious circle where he had to be strong to lead but if any sign of weakness is shown they will doubt you.

"I fucked things big time with him!"

"What happened? Can I help?"

"You can't! And I can't either!" I gently rubbed his shoulder trying to be supportive.

"I can, even if it's only just to listen, a problem halved is a problem solved"

"He used to be my best friend, we grew up together, did everything together and well we started to fool around a little and things got more physical and it was just physical for me and it was fun but I think he thought it was more than that. He started bossing the other guys around which really wasn't like him and it really fucked me and the others off because he was being a real dick and I well....."

"Do you have feelings for him?" he looked a little shocked and worried at my question.

"NO!" he tensed as if I would get angry.

"It's ok I don't mind if you do, I know you wouldn't hurt or cheat on me" I had only really known him for a short time and it felt as if we were jumping the gun a little but I knew he truly loved me and I him as I have never really felt like this before.

"and I don't mind if he has feeling for you and he most likely does by the sounds of it, I just want to know the facts so we can both work out what to do from here" he looked a little confused and surprised at I was saying.

I saw swallow and take a deep breath "Yeah ok I have a little thing for him" he sounds really worried but I said nothing just squeezed his hand a little and smiled, "But you're on a whole new level compared to him!" all I could smile and chuckle a little at his squirming.

"Kris its ok for you to have feelings for him, he was and should still be your friend and you shouldn't cut him off because something happened. You need to work through it and hope and to be honest I know what it's like"

He gave me a confused look, I thought about not telling him and what had happened with a friend of mine and what happened between us, but it was only fair to even things up as he had and still having a hard time to tell what happened and happening.

"It was while I was at collage, it was a month or so before my 18th and a really close friend asked me out I just didn't know what to do"

"What was his name?"

"It was a her" his eyes widened and mouth opened but I just gave him a look before he could say a word.

"It was at her 19thbirthday and she and a few of our other friends had been drinking and we were at her place having fun hanging out and all that. I hadn't been drinking as I don't like it but still having a really good time and it got late and so most of the others fell asleep or went home and it ended up just being me and her. We were just being stupid and talking shit until she kissed me and asked me out, I was shocked as hell and had no idea what to say or do so ended up fumberling a thank you but no thank you, but she had been drinking a lot so I thought she would forget the next morning"

"What happened?"

"She remembered! She sent me a text a day or 2 later saying that she meant what she said that she wanted a proper answer, I ended up trying to avoid her for a few weeks until our friends started to meddle a little, it really got awkward and she cornered me. I had been trying to think of what to say for weeks but I couldn't really tell her that the reason was because I was some weird wolf thing and that I was scared of hurting her physically or that I wasn't even sure if I was straight, bi, gay or whatever. So I ended saying that I thought she was wonderful but I didn't want to risk our friend ship, which she got a bit upset and angry about"

"So what happened in the end?"

"We didn't talk to each other for a long time and it wasn't until just after the fire at home that we started to talk again a little and then we moved. And I regret that because she was my best friend I told her almost everything and yes I will always love her as friend but I think it was stupid of me not to be up front with her from the start and not pussy foot around and avoid her"

He looked thoughtful for a moment but said nothing, yes my situation was similar but it didn't have the sex aspect to it. I was a little surprised that they had 'fooled around' but it seem to be part of his culture and yes I had fantasied being with a few guys and girls but not knowing what you are has a bit of a habit getting in the way of it actually happening.

"So I guess you're saying that you think I should talk to him" I nodded "but what if he doesn't want to listen to me or let me talk to him?"

"Well you would have done all that you can do and the ball will be in his court and it will be up to him to what he wants do, be it talk it out or just ignore you but you would have tried and you will know that you would have tried so you won't be left dwelling on what ifs" he looked a little relieved that I wasn't having a go at him but he seem a little nervous about the idea.

"But what do say?!"

"You say the truth, yeah that's going to be hard for both of you but it needs to be said" he nodded a little but still looked nervous.

"Do you want me to be with you when you talk to him? I don't mind, this involves both of us" he looked thoughtful once more.

"No I think it might just upset him more! I know what he's like"

"Short fuse like you?"

"Yeah"

"Well if you want I can be close by when you do talk to him just to brake things up if it gets a little hairy?" he looked at me a somewhat shocked again but worried!

"NO, if he hurts you I'll"

"Oi I'm not incapable of looking after myself and if I can take getting shot and tossing someone over 10ft in my wolf form I think handle him ok!"

"But if he hurts you!"

"If he does hurt me I'll deal with him ok, as much as I love you I don't need you to fight all my battles ok" he glared at me a little but our eyes remained locked but his softened first.

He let a defeated sigh as he leaned back on the chair, I knew how he felt as it had been a somewhat busy and eventful morning. What with my hip, the argument then the talk which just seemed to feel as if I was stirring up an even bigger hornets' nest! But it had got things out in the open and that's the main thing, if things are kept hidden and berried they end up snow balling.

I found Kris's hand again and squeezed it softly, I was a little proud of him it takes a lot for a proud person to admit they are in the wrong and a lot more to open up completely. I knew he and I both knew he handled it badly but at least he was going to put it right be it just talking to him and work it out somehow, I knew William didn't like me but that was because of happened between him and Kris but he must have been a good person to have this effect on Kris.

"Thank you" he squeezed my hand back as we both thought things over, it had been an eventful morning I just hope we won't have too many in the future!

I noticed that there was still the washing up to do from breakfast and that the hip was much happier about moving, so we both cleared the table and started to clean. We talked a little about nothing to major just where everyone was and when they might get back, Luke was at work and will get back when he picks Jain up from the vets at 7pm with Ryan who normally goes to a friend's places after school and picked up on the way back from the vets.

I cast an eye over the kitchen make sure everything was clean and how I found it, I'm not a clean freak but like to make sure I leave things as I find them as it annoys me a great deal when people don't clean or tiddly up after themselves. I guess is comes it comes from working a restaurant kitchen for several years and so you get it drummed into you that when you use something you clean it put it where it came from so everyone else can use it and is quick to find. I was also a rather messy child and it would take me while sometimes to find something in my room until mum would threaten me with a grounding if I didn't clean it and keep it clean.

Me and Kris continued to talk as we cleaned and I helped Kris to was the bed sheets which worried me a little as he had never done it before, I had to show him that you needed to spit lights from darks and why, how to work the machine and where to put the powder, it was a little funny for me thou!

"Why don't you do your own washing? Its really easy, I could since it was 11!"

"Its only easy for you because you know how to do it, I've never done it before because mum normally does it on her days off but I didn't really want her to see these!" he showed me a rather large cream coloured stain on one of the bed sheets which resulted in my face turning red.

"Ok I think it might need some more powder and a hotter setting!" I helped put the sheets in to the machine but my eye noticed a series of five 2 inch long rips in one of the pillow covers "I think you might need to get a new pillow cover and most likely a new pillow" I said as I showed him the ripped fabric blushing further.

"Yeah it's already in the trash but it was well worth it!" my face felt as if it might just catch on fire.

"Why are you blushing so much? Was last night really your first time?"

"Well yeah it was other than that time with you after the shower, and what's wrong with that?" I tried to push through the embarrassment as best I could.

"Wow, so I'm the only guy you've been with?" he sounds a little proud of himself as he said it.

"Or girl yeah why? You sound shocked"

"Wow really? I thought you would of at least have fooled around a little but really? Your 18 you should have done something by now, I first started fooling around when I 16."

"Yeah really! I'm just not very confident about myself, yeah I look ok but it just comes from the years of not knowing what I am I guess, and anyway your only what 22, 23 what's age got to do with it?!"

"I'm 29"

"What!" I looked at him dumbstruck "Really?" He smiled and nodded.

All I could do was stair at him as lent on the rumbling machine, he didn't look a day over 23 at least! I'm normally quiet good at getting peoples age but ow my good, I felt so young and almost little compared to him. I've been told I look older and I'm a little taller than him, I've got a flaming sugar daddy!

"Hay wait a minute, if your 29 then why were you at school when I was there?! Isn't the cut off age 21 or something?" I glared at him a little as he bit his lip a little and chuckled. I wasn't mad or upset just annoyed a bit!

"Well do you remember coach?"

"Yeah" I viewed him with mock suspicion.

"Well he's one of the main pack" I should have fecking guessed "and I asked him if I could join in as I was still working things out about you" ok who isn't in on this!

I let out annoyed sigh "you're not angry are you?"

"No just a little pissed, everyone seems to know me and I know no one, it's just a tad annoying is all" he pulled me close and hugged me.

"I'll introduce you to everyone later on but for now I just it to be you and me for while ok" he squeezed softly.

He tugged me from the washing room were we left the washing machine to its thing and we went all the way to the living room where he sat me down, it struck me that Kris was the only person I knew here, yeah there was Luke and Jain but I had spent the most time with Kris which then reminded me of why I was here.

I sat there for a while running things over in my mind which tends to be a detrimental habit of mine until Kris pulled me back into the corner where he sat with my resting back on his chest.

He tapped me a few time on my head snapping me from my little thinking trance "Stop it! It's going to be ok, you'll meet everyone and make new friends to and I'll help with the rest ok" he hugged me as he flicked on the TV to only kiss the top of my head.

"I know but"

"Stop it" he tapped me on the head a again "No buts and stop over thinking things, I told you to stop using your head so much and use your gut a little more" he patted my belly to reiterate the point "What's your gut telling you?"

"What other than your annoying when you're like this?" he gave me a long serious look.

I sat there trying to understand what my gut was 'telling' me, which was more than a little difficult as I'm so use to thinking things through carefully.

He taps me on the head again "too much thinking again"

"Hay give me a moment or two ok"

"It doesn't take time, it should be instant. You either know or feel something or not, that's it!" he squeezed me again seemingly stopping me from thinking "well what's its saying?" I sat quite for a short time and just relaxed, as a smile crept along my lips.

"It's telling me to trust you" I said as I looked to him and him to me, both of us had a smile.

"There you go"