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18

   Having left abruptly when he saw the

anger in my glare, Misha left me a mess. I knew he was afraid, and I was glad,

but my anger couldn't last. I didn't have the energy to keep it up. My mind

became numb as I sat and stared at the ceiling, trying to ignore the soreness

in my body. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to punish him for what he'd done,

but I was motivated to try for a few moments before I slipped back into

numbness.

  At some point, Fleur came

in and reactivated the bonds on my hands and removed the strap over my chest

while she cleaned me off. I watched her place some bloody rags off to the side when

she was done.

  She tried to talk to me,

and I think she asked if I was okay. I figured it was pretty clear that I

wasn't okay, so I stayed silent and numb. I wasn't going to talk about it with

her, anyway. I saw Fin enter the room at some point, and Fleur began to talk to

him instead. I only listened to some of their conversation, but I noticed a

bandage stuck to Fin's lower neck leading into his shoulder.

  "...and now he's not

responding. His vital signs are dangerously low today, and he wasn't even given

any drugs. I can't believe Aras pulled this shit on two-fifty-seven, especially

when he's so vital to Hale's research!"

  "I told you brining in

Aras was a bad idea." Fin sighed.

  "Doctor Hale said the two

were close! I didn't realize he'd rape two-fifty-seven! Look at him, he's

traumatized! I can't get him to respond."

  "It wasn't your decision

anyways. Doctor Hale has placed Aras as the head doctor for his research from

this point on." Fin said, which made me whine. "Hale's playing games. He knew

what would happen. I doubt he even cares about the research at this point."

  Fleur groaned, "You think

it's all just a psychological game?" She snapped, "Then why the hell am I

spending so much time examining samples and collecting data? I'm sure Hale

realizes what an amazing resource this alien can be! What's he thinking?"

  "Do we ever know what

he's thinking?" Fin snorted, "Are you honestly surprised?"

  I whimpered. Fleur looked

back at me. "Two-fifty-seven?" She asked, pausing for just a moment before she

turned back to Fin, "Fuck this. If he wants to just kill off out most important

research then there's nothing I can do!" She shouted before storming away.

  "Don't do anything rash."

Fin called out to her as she slammed the door closed. I heard her yell

something back in the hallway. He sighed and shook his head, "You always say

that when you're about to do something foolish."

  Fin sighed and unstrapped

my bonds. "Come on. I'll move you to a holding cell, at least. Just don't try

to run on me, or I'm going to have to beat the shit out of you."

  I didn't respond to him.

I was groggy and too weak to even think about running. I tried to focus on the

insignificant details in life, like the fact that Fin seemed more calm and kind

towards me than he had before. Perhaps he finally felt some compassion. I

pretended that was the reason as he helped me stand up. Standing up caused me

pain in places I didn't want to think about, and I whined quietly in discomfort

as I staggered forward. Fin shot me a look of uncomfortable pity as he led me

out of the room.

  He took me into another

room. This room seemed familiar, and I assumed it was the room I had spoken to

the female werewolf in. The lights were on now, and I saw the room was more

like a large hallway that was lined with five cells on either side. I curiously

glanced at the cells, but only saw passed out men or pacing feral wolves in the

cages. One wolf snarled and bit at the bars when we passed it. I was too

exhausted to attempt to communicate with it, but I wondered if I could.  

  I was placed in a cage

that had solid metal walls on either side, and bars on the front. I sank down

onto the floor instead of the small platform that resembled a bed while Fin

locked the door behind me. Across from me, the cell was empty. I wondered if

the female werewolf had been real and if she would be back.

  My body longed to curl up

and hide, and that's what I did. I curled into the corner of the room and

closed my eyes.

Time passed. I couldn't tell you how much, or even what happened to me.

I was moved back and forth from the cell to the metal table and strapped down

and drugged so many times it lost meaning. I no longer felt the sting of the

needles, or the tight bonds around my wrists and ankles. I no longer felt much

of anything.

  Misha Aras came back to

visit more times than my memory recalled, I'm sure. He would speak to Fleur and

Fin about my condition, occasionally run some tests, and then dismiss them to

have his way with me. Fleur would sometimes argue it until Misha threatened her

with the fact that Doctor Hale had put him in charge, and by disobeying him she

was disobeying Hale.

  At first I screamed and

begged him to stop, but it seemed that ruined the mood for him, so he would

bind my mouth shut and drug me. He stopped telling me he loved me and no longer

attempted to make small talk before, and instead his visits became strictly for

his own pleasure. At least he was finally admitting that to himself.

  After this happened, my

mind refused to remember many of the events that happened between us. I was too

damaged to feel the impact of what was happening, and each time when he was

done I would feel the empty void seep deeper into my mind.

  Fleur became increasingly

upset with Doctor Aras, and would constantly argue with Fin over it. Both of

them seemed frustrated with the events for reasons I wasn't entirely sure of,

but at least they seemed to disapprove of Misha's behavior as well. They

mentioned Doctor Hale being away at some point, which confused me. I couldn't

imagine Hale ever leaving the lab, but apparently he did. This was probably the

reason they hadn't tried to convince me to transform into my original form yet,

and to be honest, I wouldn't have been able to.

  Fleur tried desperately

to make me respond. She would sneak in to see me during the dark hours. She

would bring a lantern and would try and bring me things like food. I couldn't

eat, though. I hadn't eaten since I'd been down here. I was somehow kept alive

by their injections of forced energy and nutrients. Even if I had been

interested in food, I was certain my body wouldn't be able to handle it

anymore. I felt ill whenever she brought it, and knew I would vomit if I ate

it. I was too exhausted to explain this, so I just remained silent and

despondent.

  There was a day where I

had been hung from the vertical platform while they ran their tests. Fleur slapped

me and begged me to respond, to feel, but I was unable. I just stared down at

her sadly while she shook my limp body. I didn't know what else to do, so I

just waited for it to end. Why she wanted me to respond I wasn't sure.

  My rage built up inside

of me, but always dissolved back into the deep emptiness I felt. I no longer

hoped to escape. After a while I think my broken, dying body was no longer desirable

to Doctor Aras, and he stopped. I was glad to be at least slightly more

comfortable as I waited for my death, but after he stopped violating me he

became more violent. He would handle me roughly when he came in to give me

injections or take measurements of my muscles, and he seemed extremely

irritable. I had no idea if this was because of me or not.

   Misha Aras was a completely different person

than he made me believe he was, and I was finally seeing his genuine, malicious

self. I felt ashamed for ever caring about him.

  I became convinced that

this world was very real and not a hallucination caused by trauma. This world

was real, a reminder that I had failed two lives. I had two chances and I

failed to succeed in either life.

  When I ran from my home,

I never imagined I would even survive long enough to land on another planet,

and this one had offered hope. While I was lied to and slowly imprisoned, I

went along with it and let myself become a slave. I willingly remained ignorant

because I was too afraid to leave or say no. I was naïve and assumed things

would just turn out okay.

  I had killed a woman for

no real reason. She was acting violently towards a violent man, and I was told

to destroy her. I did so because so because I felt some strange urge to protect

the man who was slowly destroying me. I thought doing my job would help me

somehow. I sighed as I realized my mistakes and curled up on the floor of my

cell once more. This life was over for me. I waited in the dimly-lit cell for

death to claim me.

   Finally, I saw and welcomed my death

sentence. Fleur clipped a few papers to the outside of my cell, and I could see

the words clearly scribbled across the paper:  Condition: Serious and

Declining.

   I was convinced this was my end, which made my

condition plummet faster.

Doctor Hale's voice echoed from a distant place. Fleur was yelling at

him. I couldn't comprehend what was said, only the fact that Hale was calm and

collected, unlike the last time he had met with me. Last time he seemed enraged

by the fact that I was dying, and yet now he was calm. My condition was far

worse than it had been before, though, and I was actually dying now. He

definitely cared less, or at least he was showing less emotion. I wondered

about his trip away and where he went...perhaps something was wrong with him and

that's what had made him irritable. Maybe he had to return somewhere to become

numb again.

  Hale knew the dangers of

emotions, I was sure of it. He knew how to control me using my emotions, so I

was certain he was aware of how weak they could make you. That's why he hides them, I decided. It worried me how much like

him I felt in that moment, numb and calm. Calm was an odd way of describing it,

but perhaps this was how Hale had turned into the demon that he was...I hoped I

would die before I became that kind of monster.

  I was curled up on the

floor when he entered the hallway and crouched down beside my cell. I avoided

his eyes, I couldn't see anything anyways. My vision was blurry, and all I saw

was the sleek black uniform he wore. The bright red markings hurt my eyes.

  "The phoenix." Hale said

as his blurry figure loomed over me. "Bring the phoenix down to talk to him."

  I stared upwards

momentarily. I had nearly forgotten that just a few floors above me Kato was

alive and hopefully well. I wanted to protest Kato's visit, I did not want him

to see what they had done to me. It would hurt him more than it was hurting me.

Kato still had a chance to escape, but I couldn't control their decisions.

  "I suppose it's good we

were unable to force a transformation, then." Hale sighed. "It'll be a shame if

his condition does not improve. Tell me what you've given him to stabilize him

so far."  

  Fleur listed off the

names of drugs and herbs they had tried to give me. Even their energy boosting

injections failed. My body simply rejected the forced energy. Most likely I was

also starving to death due to the fact that my body did not absorb any nutrients

from their other injections, and I refused to eat the food Fleur brought.  

  Hale reached out and

gripped the bars. "Do you want out of here, two-fifty-seven?" He asked. "I said

I'd let you out. That promise wasn't as empty as you think it was, but first

you need to cooperate."

  I let my eyes wander to

Hale's for a moment, just to send a hopeless stare towards him. I was sure that

when he let me out there would be some kind of condition, so I whispered, "No."

before curling back up and trying to escape into sleep.

   He stood back up. "Bring the phoenix. He's

been dying to see his rotting friend, anyway." He commanded before leaving the

room. Fleur glanced down at me briefly before stepping out of the room. I

closed my eyes and waited for Kato's arrival. I wouldn't be able to stop Kato's

visit from happening. It would be nice to see Kato, and I might as well try to

enjoy his presence.

   I must

have passed out, because I jerked awake to the sound of Kato yelling, "Fuck

you, Caliber! You're just going to sit here and stand guard while they destroy

him?" I heard someone slam into something else. "What about the damn goddess?

Does she not think Decipher is worth saving? I've prayed to her every night!

What does she have to say?"

   My mind raced. Caliber was a guard down here?

Had he been here the entire time? I had completely forgotten there was a

goddess, and one that seemed to take an interest in me. I had failed her, too,

and now I wasn't worth saving.

  "Kato, stop or I'm going

to have to escort you out." Caliber said in a tone more serious than I think I

had ever heard from him.  His voice

became hushed, "you know what Hale would do if I tried anything. I'm not even

allowed to look at him. Besides that, the goddess cannot save those who aren't

willing to save themselves. Stop speaking of her. You're going to get us into

trouble." He whispered something else that I couldn't make out, and then his

voice returned to normal, "Now go visit Decipher and see if you can bring some

life into him."

  I heard something crash

in the hallway. Kato stumbled into the room and towards my cage. He knelt down

in front of my cell and stared at me with dripping eyes. My hand happened to be

sprawled out towards the edge of the bars, and he reached out and touched me.

"Decipher..." He whispered.

  I whined and jerked my

hand away at his touch. I couldn't handle anyone's touch anymore, and

especially not one that was affectionate. I couldn't trust it, even though I

trusted Kato as I looked into his dull, defeated eyes.

  He jerked his hand away in

response and gripped the bars. "I'm so sorry, Decipher." He cried as he hung

his head. I took a minute to look at Kato. The side of his face was bruised and

scabbed over; it looked like he had gotten into some kind of fight. His arms

were spotted with bruises and his feathery hair was shaken out of place. He

looked exhausted and drained of life himself. The sight of him like this hurt

me, and I could only imagine the sight of me hurt him so much more.

  "They told me you were

dying, Decipher." He cried. "I thought you were already dead. I tried so hard to

get to you. They said it could be me instead of you, but they said it was your

decision. Why didn't you let them take me?"

  "Kato..." I whispered,

staring out at his broken expression. I could hardly believe he was there, kneeling

before me in utter defeat.

  "I tried so hard,

Decipher! I broke my promise. I tried to get into trouble!" He shouted, causing

me to withdraw again. "All they did was give me a few bruises...I just wanted

them to take me...LET THEM TAKE ME!"

  I sat up and pressed

myself into the corner of the tiny cell, staring at him with wide eyes. His promise? My mind raced and recalled

the conversation we had in the tunnel that led to the Edge where I asked him to

stay out of trouble...and I had made a promise, too.

   Kato looked up at me. "Decipher...don't

die." He pleaded with me. "You said you wouldn't die. You fucking promised me

you would survive."

  My ears perked forward as

I remembered my promise clearly, but it only added to my feeling of failure.

"I'm not worth saving." I whispered. "You heard Caliber."

  "No, Decipher." He sighed,

"You're mistaken. You're not worth saving because you refuse to save yourself.

Have hope, Decipher." He whispered in a shaking voice, "Continue to hope.

Survive, and we will make it out. You promised me you'd take me when you left,

do you still want to?"

  I was suddenly sad. I

wanted nothing more than to escape with Kato, but he was right. I did not think

I was worth saving. I had promised him, though, and I couldn't go back on my

word like everyone had done to me. I was conflicted. It was so hard to make

myself believe I could ever escape here, and even harder to try and convince

myself to try.

  "I can't leave here without

you."  He said.

  All I wanted was for him to

go and escape without me. Something about seeing him fly as the flaming bird he

was caused me to long for his freedom. The image of this was engraved into my

mind, and was one of the only clear, happy memories I had left. I wasn't sure

why but all I wanted was Kato to be free, but I felt like if I was with him I would

somehow cause him trouble. I realized he wouldn't leave without me, though, and

I understood that I needed to become strong enough to save him. Kato would

think I was the one saving him, but in reality I knew we both shared an equal

responsibility for the other person.

  "Yes, Kato." I said after

a few moments as I stared into his eyes. "I did promise."

  "Focus on getting better,

Decipher." Kato said softly, "They want you in good shape so that you can

withstand their experiments. If you endure just a little longer, I'll figure

something out. You need to endure, and make peace with yourself and your

decisions. If you have no hope then it will remain impossible."

  Kato took something out of

his pocket; it was piece of stone that looked like it had come from my dagger.

"It is possible, Decipher." Kato whispered as he slid the stone into my cell. I

slowly approached the bars and dragged the fragment of the dark stone towards

me. "I know it's possible. Take this, and try to see the possibilities."

  "Kato..." I said quietly as

I clutched the stone, "How long has it been?"

  Kato closed his eyes, as

if the question hurt him. "More than a month, Decipher."

  I had no expectations, but

it was surprising to hear that I had been here an entire month. It made sense,

but I felt suddenly guilty for letting myself slip into the darkness of my

mind. There were so many gaps in my memory. I hardly remembered what the world

looked like in focused, clear vision and with a clear mind. I fumbled with the

shard of dark violet stone in my hands and pondered what he meant by his

statement. My mind was too scattered to focus on asking him.

  "I know what Misha did to

you, Decipher." Kato said as he avoided my eyes and looked at the bruises

covering his arms. "Once I found out, I attacked him, and the guards did this

to me. I wish they'd done more. I hate walking around as if everything's okay. I

can't fucking stand seeing him knowing what he did to you."

  For a moment, my mind

withdrew again and I was tempted to curl up, but I resisted. Instead, I stood

slowly and sat on the stiff bed for the first time. My muscles were weak and I

could barely keep myself sitting upright, but I tried. I allowed myself to

absorb some of the energy from the countless injections I had recently

received, and felt slightly better.

  "Hale only brought you

down here because he also wants me to survive." I whispered, staring at Kato,

"Everything you just said...Hale could have easily planned this all. Are you sure

you aren't working for him, Kato?"

   It wasn't that I didn't trust Kato, I

wanted to...but my mind would not allow me to. Kato had never betrayed my trust,

and yet I was still so afraid that he would.

  Kato's eyes looked

surprised and sad, but he seemed to understand. He shook his head. "I am not

just trying to convince you to survive because Hale wants me to. I know that

was his plan, but I also want you to live. He doesn't think I'll ever try to

escape. He thinks I am a coward..." He whispered. "You have to believe in me! I

know everything you've put your faith in has let you down, but please...don't

give up on me. I was a coward, Decipher, but this has to end. I can't stay here

forever, you showed me freedom! I can't stay a prisoner here and neither can

you, or eventually they will actually kill you."

  I stared into Kato's eyes

and considered his words. I wanted so badly to trust him, but I was so afraid

it was another lie. If it turned out Kato was lying to me, it would destroy me.

I wasn't strong enough to handle that. I considered the fact that I had nothing

to lose, though. If I didn't trust him, I would assume Kato was lying to me and

continue to rot anyways. But if I did trust him and he turned out to be telling

the truth, there might still be hope for my pathetic life. Still, it was so

difficult to tell myself it was worth trying.

  "Decipher, listen to me."

Kato said, his expression suddenly dark. "If you won't focus on getting better,

I still won't give up on you. I will die trying to save you, Decipher, whether

or not you realize you're still alive."

   The

determination in Kato's eyes haunted me, and I knew he was telling the truth.

He truly would die for me if I refused to help myself.

  I nodded slowly and

whispered, "I understand."

   A guard wearing a helmet stepped into the room.

I didn't see his face, but the visor of the helmet was pointed at me. I assumed

it was Caliber.

  "Come on, Kato." He said,

his face still pointed at me. Even through the echo of the helmet I knew

Caliber's voice, but it was darker than I had ever heard it before. I hoped he

hadn't changed. "Your time is up." He said. I could tell he was struggling with

his orders.

  Kato gripped onto the bars

of my cell. "Please, Decipher." he pleaded with me one last time before Caliber

gripped his shoulder and pulled him up.

  Caliber dragged him away,

and looked back at me one last time before he exited the room.

In my mind I wanted to believe that I had resolved to save Kato, but I

was still broken. They left me in my cell for a long time. Fleur didn't remove

me from my cell when she came to give me my daily injections, so I remained

curled up on the bed, clutching the stone that Kato had given me. The

injections seemed to be doses of energy and nutrients, and no drugs that harmed

me. I slowly began to focus on absorbing the nutrients.

  My body was starting to

feel more aware of the world around me, but my mind attempted to stay hidden

and oblivious. One step at a time. I

thought. 

  The lights went on and off,

marking the days that passed, and I sat alone in my head until one night I was

woken by a familiar voice.

  "You're back!" She said.

"You don't look so good."

  My ear flicked at the

phrase. It was dark, and I couldn't see her as I stirred awake. She must have

better night vision than I did. "I'm surprised you can see me." I said softly.

I was somewhat surprised at my answer. I hadn't attempted to communicate with

anyone since Kato had been here, but suddenly, this girl made me want to talk.

  She snorted. "You're a

wolf, too. Kind of." She said with a laugh, "Don't you have pretty good vision

in the dark?"

  I thought for a moment.

Night vision wasn't something I had focused on, I hadn't needed to. I remembered

the night I killed Sheila and realized I had seen perfectly in the darkness. I

concentrated on this thought and opened my eyes completely.

  I felt my pupil constrict

and dilate as it adjusted to the lack of light, and then I could see the room

nicely outlined. I was suddenly remembering how much I was capable of,

especially right now when they weren't drugging me and I wasn't keeping my mind

numb.

  Across from me, there was

a human girl. She looked young, younger than any of the humans I had seen here,

and I suddenly felt worse for her. She didn't seem to have any odd features on

her naked body; it all looked like human skin to me. Her brown hair seemed to

have a sable pattern, though, much like the gray, feral wolf in the cell beside

her. Then I noticed her eyes. They were deep, amber orange and resembled the

shape of a wolf's eye more than a human's.

  "Well?" She asked, staring

over at me. "You're looking at me now. I'll take that as a sign you can

see." 

  My focus snapped back to

her, "Sorry." I said, "I am...I am just getting used to being awake again. I was

beginning to think I had dreamt you."

  She shook her head,

"Unfortunately, no. I'm real and here. Although I think it's been a while since

I was in here...I'm not sure." She sighed, rubbing her head, "They've been doing

different things lately, and the drugs make me pass out these days."

   "I'm sorry." I mumbled. It was nice to have

someone else to pity instead of myself.

  "You're an alien, right?"

She asked, "I've been wondering about that. What kind of stuff can you do? What

are those funny markings on your arm? They seem to have lots of weird energy

around them."

  I looked down at my

markings, surprised. They resembled bloody scars that had been blackened now. I

hadn't even thought about them since they had attempted to force a

transformation when I first got here.

  "Oh...they store energy. The

kind of energy my people use to communicate." I said as I traced the lines of

the markings with my fingers. They were sore to the touch, but felt okay other

than that.

  "What can you do with that

energy?"

  I thought about her

question for a moment before glancing at the shard of stone Kato had given me.

Perhaps if I used my own energy to activate the stone, it would show me

something...a vision, maybe. I remembered Caliber mentioning that this stone was

one that represented the dark Goddess, and the blue flame I had ignited across

my dagger's blade.

  The girl sighed and

yawned. "You don't talk much, do you?" She asked before curling up on her bed.

"Well, goodnight, alien."

  I looked up and opened my

mouth to respond, but it seemed she had fallen asleep instantly. I took the

stone and placed it across my markings. I tried to focus on letting the energy

seep into it, but my mind was having a hard time pulling the energy out. I took

the edge of the blade and carefully sliced open one of the markings.

  Wiping away the blood, I

revealed the sea-green glow of the marking. My markings were dull, and I could

hardly believe I was still alive with how little energy pulsed through them. I

closed my eyes and began to focus again. The bright glow moved from my arm to

the stone, and I held onto it tightly. My head began to spin, but the feeling

was different than being drugged.

  It felt like the stone

passing through to another dimension, and by holding onto it, I was being

dragged there myself.   

  I crashed into the

familiar sea of floating petals, but this time they were a deep violet. They

held my body and filled it with a peace I could hardly comprehend. When I

looked up to the sky it was clouded and streaked with indigo and blues. My eyes

combed the landscape and I saw large spires of twisted, purple crystals jutting

out of the ground. The crystals were massive, some nearly the size of

mountains. Somehow, this place gave me the calm, safe feeling of home.

  I knelt beside a massive

crystal spire, admiring the fine, twisted edges as it streaked into the sky.

The inside of the violet crystal was veined with cerulean blue that sneaked

throughout the entire thing. I stood and traced my finger across the veins. A

rush of wind behind me distracted me from the beauty of the crystals.

  I turned to see the

Goddess approaching me. She was human this time, with a tall, strong figure and

hair so dark it glistened with deep indigo highlights. Her hair flowed around

her as she walked towards me. She wore a fabric that was made of a starry,

violet sky that wrapped around her body and flowed with her movements. It

reminded me of Asodar's pelt.

  I fell to my knees as she

approached. My mind raced through all my feelings of failure, and I clutched at

the petals beneath me.

  "I'm so sorry." I

whispered as I stared at the ground. "I've failed. You warned me and I didn't listen.

Truly, I do not deserve to wear your form."

  Slowly, she knelt in front

of me. "Decipher." She said. Hearing her speak my name sent a chill down my

spine. I hardly felt worthy of her attention. "You still walk on the ground

that is ready to break at your touch." She said gently, lifting my chin with

her hand and forcing me to gaze into her violet eyes.  

  "It began with blood. You

felt the effect of rage and did your duty." She continued. I realized she was

speaking of the vision I had before, "You walked past the wasteland of your

life, and began to see the lies and opened your eyes to the tragedies. The

trees, events in your life that appeared good at first, but you knew they were

sprouting from the soil of lies.

   "You saw the good things in your life slowly

start to break as you discovered the truth. You knew the truth had the

potential to destroy your world. You accepted the fact that the truth would

imprison you, but realized it would also set you free."

  My mind raced as the

meaning of the vision was revealed. I swallowed hard and began to shake as I

waited for her to explain the next part, which was burned into my mind, You have taken my form. Do you deserve to

wear it?    "You're eyes." She said

softly as she gazed into them. "Violet is a rare color in the eyes of the

creatures that live here. Only those who are most highly honored by me

personally can wear violet in their eyes. Do you know why I choose to let you

wear it?"

  I shook my head. I couldn't

imagine myself deserving to wear something so special and symbolic, and I

wondered if others knew about the great symbolism behind the color of my eyes.

  "Your intent is pure." She

whispered gently. "I know why you fled your home. I know what you had hoped to

do. You are strong."

  "I...do not feel strong." I

confessed as I looked back at the petals below me.

  "If you were not strong,

you would have died before you even crashed here. You would have let your kind

slaughter you instead of trying to escape. Your escape did not make you a

coward." She said to me, her voice compelling me to look into her eyes again, "Decipher,

you are no longer an alien. You belong here now; this planet is your home. I

have accepted you as my own."

  For reasons I couldn't

quite understand, her statement sent a resonating peace throughout me. She took

my hands and stood up with me.

  "Darkness is not always

what it seems, Decipher. The lack of light is not evil, yet many confuse the

two." She said to me, "When you return, you will feel the pain that your body

is currently in. Do not give up. There is a life for you, if you are willing to

search for it."

  "What about destiny?" I

said, "You said I was destined to walk this path of destruction, what did that

mean?" I demanded. 

  "Whether or not you follow

your destiny is always a choice, Decipher."

  I knew that was the only

answer she would give me, and I accepted it. I realized I had the choice to

destroy...what my future would hold if I remained captive at the lab would be

horrible. Soon the lines would blur and I would stop caring. My numbness would

allow me to justify my actions, and I would become evil.

   I took another glance at the beautiful realm

around me. Was this their heaven? I never wanted to leave this place...

  "You must go." She said, as

if reading my thoughts. "Do not fear the pain, Decipher. Master it. You have

already done this once before."

  "Don't leave me." I whined,

terrified to return to the lab.

  "I am never truly

gone." 

  She was still holding onto

my hands. I gripped onto hers and mentally pleaded with her to stay, but I was

already fading from this beautiful world.

   I felt like I crashed back into my body. The

pain was overwhelming at first, and I yelled out. Panting, I sat up and

stared out at the room. Everything was dead and quiet, and the feeling of peace

had completely vanished.

  I desperately tried to

hold on to the vision, but it felt like a dream, slowly disappearing as I

became more awake. I had to escape. If I didn't, I would turn into something

terrible.

   I was going to listen to her warning this

time. I would not follow my destined path of destruction.