Chapter 2 - The Story Before The World

"Wha?"

"You were shaking, I wondered if you were cold?"

If I had the blood to spare right now, I'd be blushing. He was gorgeous! He must be about 6ft 6", he was so tall, and his hair hung down the sides of his face as he leant over me. His eyes were a piercing blue, his chin was dimpled with almost slim red lips, clean shaven and high cheekbones complimented a slightly tanned complexion.

I then realised I was just staring at him like a fucking moron...

"Shit, sorry, no, no. Vampires don't get affected by the cold. I was just having a very bad thought."

"Ah. Thanks for your help tonight. Though running yourself dry was a tad stupid wasn't it? You could have been a bit more sparing with some of what you did."

I roll my eyes a little and sigh "Yeah, I could have. I could have done alot of things differently. But in the heat of the moment I have a tendency to stick with what I feel is the better idea. Often at a cost to myself I know."

"For someone who claims not have feelings, you sure do act on them a lot."

That stops me and I stare again. This time it's not his looks that's got my complete attention, it's what he just said. I act on my feelings alot. But as a vampire, I don't actually feel, I copy what the memories of my past life were and how I'd react as if I was still alive. The whole being a vampire is often just me acting out who I 'was'. Yet, was that honestly so bad, the fact that that I still clung to the idea of who I was as opposed to accepting the reality of 'what' I am.

"I'm guessing you hadn't thought about that huh?"

That snaps me out of my little internal monologue "Shit, well, isn't tonight just a beauty of a night to have all my cards laid bare" I huff a little annoyed.

"Beg pardon?"

"Sorry, just I've been on a journey to... To find something, something that I 'thought' would let me get back into the life of the garou who I let down. But... I've spent so much time trying to find a way to do that, that I hadn't considered what I was 'actually' doing. Which is a whole world of nothing."

The handsome garou blinks at me.

"Why don't you start from the beginning? It sounds like you have a tale to tell. Unless you need to concentrate on your little protégé there?" he motions towards the unmoving BS in the cell.

"Huh, oh, no. Whilst I have his soul, my memories of how it's like to be human are being re-imprinted onto it, compassion, love, and other kind emotions are being re-introduced. The longer I can leave the process, the better it will all stick."

The garou nods.

"So, gonna tell me your story then?"

"Sure, but first, the name's Alias, Alias Barium."

He flashes me a smile "Call me Soothing"

I nod and smile back. "Well, I'll try to give you the short version at least. But this is 10 years I'm trying to condense into a short tale here."

He nods and sits down beside me. I tilt my head back and think where to start.

"I became a vampire when I was ready to die. My current life had little tying me to it. I'd lost pretty much all hope and become just another person on the street. Then one night, I saw someone staggering across the park I was crashing in. It looked like they were badly hurt, so I went to help. That was the night I met my sire, he had been injured during a clash with another vampire who'd found out he was one of the Salubri line. We're a hunted line of vampires, even by our own kind. Our abilities were very different to all the other vampire kind. We have the power to restore health, both mental and physical. The stronger of my line, infact the head of our line was supposedly strong enough to bring the dead to life again. He was the kindest and strongest of us all. From what I know that is... He was destroyed centuries ago, a mage of power desired immortality. He gained it by devouring the soul of our line's creator. In turn he became undead like ourselves and his power greatly diminished, briefly... They waged war upon the Salubri and damned us with lies, turning all against us with the belief that we devoured the souls we saved. We were hunted to extinction, the remaining few made a pact. There would always be 7, no more, no less. When the time came to create a new Salubri, the one who created it, would give their power and soul to the new one. The new one would devour all that the old was, and take their power onto themselves."

I look to Soothing, whilst I continue my tale, my eyes searching his face for flashes of emotion as I continue.

"So, the night I saw my sire staggering through the park, I helped him. I had come from England and ended up homeless with no way back. He took me in and told me of the world of vampires. Normally that would be against all sorts of rules, but at this point he didn't give a shit. He'd spent his entire unlife trying to find his way to the state known as Golconda..."

"Golconda, the fabled state of salvation for a vampire. Its told that once that state is achieved, then a vampire might as well be human yet again, but they are beyond what even a vampire can normally achieve with several millennia of unlife. He said that I had the heart and kindness to find this path. What he didn't tell me was that he just didn't care either way, he'd had enough and it was too dangerous for him to go on living. What he also didn't reveal was just how deep he was going to put me in without me having a clue what to do, nor was I aware of the other 6 who were like me, he claimed to be the last of the line. He brought me over to the unlife and trained me to pretend to be a Toredor. The toredor are another clan of vampires, basically they're the socialites, loving partying and are often the bitchy ones, so I fit in rather well."

I give a wry smile at Soothing who is sat listening patiently and intently. I realise that he's kept his face almost totally the same through the story and I make a mental note not to play poker against him anytime.

"That's where I met Leonis. A half vampire. Vampires can't normally reproduce as they're dead, but since the bloodline has become so thin over time, the newer ones were able to have children. Unfortunately, they're looked on as very weak and lower class. Not that it made a difference to me, I fell for him straight away. Skipping over the greater details, we got together and worked to make a life in New Orleans."

I look at Soothing whose head is tilted, still listening to my story.

"While we were travelling one year, I heard an interesting rumour about a group of garou who had been wiped out by an up and coming toredor snot who had little regard for anyone. I personally had a grudge against the idiot, but someone else dropped into my lap that there had been a survivor. He was after the person who wiped out his pack and was planning to assassinate him. The toredor knew this and was planning his own little turn of events; he was putting word out to have a laugh about the whole thing. We decided we'd crash his party and see about doing away with the little upstart."

I sighed softly with the memory. That night had marked the beginning of something bigger than I'd ever dreamed.

We slipped to the point, Leonis hid my body until sundown and we took position as soon as it was safe. It was decided they'd lead him to an office block being constructed, where they could put it down to vandals or a gang riot if things got out of hand. Leonis and I hid in a storage cupboard, waiting for them to turn up. The garou arrived first. We watched from the storage room as the toredor turned up shortly after with a couple of his minions. I knew that these two were specialists at dealing with garou, they had a pair of silver swords, freaking swords of all things. But they were still mostly human, which meant bullets could do something nasty to them. Leonis had that covered with his nasty double set of handguns. I was going to bugger up the big bad with my speed and pray that the garou was reasonable. Failing that Leonis had another gun with silver shot incase it went bad. Surprisingly it went exactly as we'd planned, Leonis taking out the two mooks fast as lightning and myself bringing down the little upstart with a nice well aimed spear of wood through the heart. Then it got awkward. I remember it vividly, I was looking at this werewolf with fur like dusted coal, panting from the cuts he'd gotten before we could intervene.

I said to him "We aren't here to fight with you, we heard about what had happened and took this chance to take this little shit out and save you. I'm sorry about your pack, but there was nothing we could do to help."

Naturally, he wasn't convinced. Leonis actually had to put a shot in the floor in front of him. He shifted back into human form and I still remember seeing his face, the pain the sorrow and the anger etched on it. He obviously hadn't slept and didn't look like he was in a great condition to do this, yet he'd forced himself here. Leonis and I looked at each other, and then moved away from the impaled toredor.'

"If you want to take your revenge on this one, go ahead. I'm just sorry it won't bring your pack back to you."

_ He growled at me "What do you care dead thing? You're just like the rest of them, you're only doing this to get rid of this shit."_

_ I nodded gently "You're half right, I am doing this to get rid of this bastard, but I didn't have to. I could have just left him, I could have just let you die. However I haven't. There's no ulterior motive here, I just stepped in to save a life."_

_ That earned me a very hard stare from him, enough of one that Leonis moved a bit closer to me with his gun pointed._

"'Really? Is that the honest truth? How do I believe you? You're just another undead scum!"

I shook my head sadly "No, I'm nothing like the others.... If I could do anything else to help you I would. But this is the limit of my abilities. I'm no big shot powerful vampire, they weren't expecting us two and that's kinda the only reason we got them. I'm so sorry..." and with that I had to turn away and left with Leonis.

We didn't expect to see him again. I couldn't forget the pain in his face and realised that I wasn't in too dissimilar boat. I had no one else like me, no one from my previous life, no one I could honestly trust, except Leonis. I would have gone mad if it weren't for him by my side. What I didn't realise is that the garou I'd met, Colt, was about to be a much bigger part of my un-life.

I was in one of the Elysium's in the city. Huh? Oh, an Elysium is a vampire's neutral ground, powers are not allowed to be used on each other, nor is violence tolerated. When suddenly through the window bursts Colt, wrestling with a vampire. I couldn't believe it, he must have gone totally insane was all I could think of. Luckily there were only a few vampires around, unluckily, Elysium's rules don't apply to non vampires...

I honestly have no idea how I got us out of there that night. That night I was smoother than silk when it came to smart talking. I managed to convince the entire Elysium that the vampire he was attacking was a leak to both the werewolves and vampires, that the only place he could take him out was 'outside' Elysium and that I'd take the verbal bitchslap for being so sloppy that he'd brought it in here. It was blind fucking luck that they believed me and when Colt realised that I was giving him another chance to get out, he actually took it.

When we got outside, the temperature must have dropped below zero with the look he gave me. I turned to Leonis, kissed him and asked him to go get the car whilst I talked to the garou. The look that Colt gave me when I kissed Leonis was surprising in itself. It was that 'I'm not surprised but at the same time I am' look, which I'm glad for as it would have been shit if he'd have looked disgusted. After Leonis had left, I turned to the garou.

"Ok, you can't be totally fucking bonkers or you'd have just attacked me there instead of letting me get you out alive. So I'm guessing you saw the vamp outside and did a suicide run trying to take down as many as you could right?"

All I got was a grunt in return. I sighed and walked up very close to him which obviously put him on edge.

"Being alone in this world fucking sucks. Knowing that you're the only one left from a world that's gone away. I found Leonis and managed to hold onto what little of my sanity and humanity I had. Your heart still beats, your body still draws breath and you can still feel love. Until you lose that, you will never know what you had and all you become is a memory of who you were. You may not have anyone to remember you right now, but all those you lost need someone to remember them."

I reached out my hands and gently clasped one of his, he was holding guns in both when I reached out, but I didn't move fast, I moved slowly. I raised it up and placed it against my head.

"I am not the same as any of the vampires you just ran into. I don't want to just be a memory of who I was. I'm trying to be more and I've saved your life twice now simply because it was the right thing to do. Believe me, I know how much revenge will drive you. I have cause to do so just as much as you d. If you think I honestly am not worth your time, then pull that trigger and remove some more shit from this world. I believe I can be more than a memory, I've already fallen for love, but I have no conscience to help me. So I'll ask you. Will you live for memories?"

I'd let go of Colt's hand at this point he was shaking. I stood and waited, he eventually lowered the gun and let out a gasp of air as he'd been holding back the tears.

"How do I know this isn't just another trick?!" he almost yelled at me.

"The same way I know why I'm trusting someone who hates me on principal. The only way is to try it and find out. I believe I love Leonis as much as I honestly can, he loves me back, but if I go wrong, there's no one to be the bullet. Please help me...."

He started laughing bitterly "A vampire begging me to help him be human... I must have gone crazy."

I let out a soft laugh "No crazier than me and I hang around with Malkavians..."

He looks at me, shakes his head and held out his hand "Name's Colt."

"I'm Alias Barium, the memory of Alex Barium" I replied and shook his hand.

I sighed an leaned back against the wall, looking up "And that was how we met... I asked him to stop me from going bad. Fast forward a few years and we got closer, all three of us. Eventually our relationship developed into something greater. My memory grew and Colt found something to love in me. Same would have been reversed if I could have felt it for him, but my memory told me that's the feelings I would have for him, so I stuck to it."

Soothing stretched out a little and popped his neck "Nrrrgh, however judging from how you've been talking, there's a big ass drama bomb about to drop huh?"

I laughed bitterly "Oh there's the understatement of the century. During the last few months, a number of calamities befell me, nothing I couldn't deal with, until Leonis was kidnapped... I was told he'd been put somewhere safe for now by an Assamite, they're the police of the vamps really. They're fucking bolt hard and come down on you like a sack of bricks if you piss in their pond. However they are honourable, especially the one who had put him in protection. So I believed him safe, but I was rapidly losing any ability to do anything, so I called in Colt and risked people finding out about our relationship in order to try to fight back against the vampires who were fucking me over. That's just before disaster hit. I was so weak, I didn't have any use to anyone in any battle situation and I kept ending up in them. I relied on my speed to keep me at a distance and distract people, but there was one way to get power for a vampire."

I take a deep breath at this point, the motion automatic for me regardless of the fact I had no need for it.

"During a fight in a bar against some rival vampires, I was against one who had the ability to channel their animal instincts and ability. We call them Gangrel in our world. This one was fast and strong, she had some serious power in her, however I had a tazer. I shot her and immobilised her. Then I did the worst thing imaginable."

At this point I turn to watch Soothing's face as I gather my courage to say the last part.

"A vampire can drink another vampire's blood, it gives them one hell of a boost. There's dangers to it as you do become attached to the vampire you drink from, however you can also drink all a vampire's blood... Then keep drinking."

Soothing looks confused at this moment. I bite my lip as I don't want to tell him this part, but I have to admit to the mistake.

"You can take the vampire's soul and drink it down. You can inherit its ability to some degree and learn the abilities that their particular blood line possesses. It's basically a way to eat your way up the chain of command."

Soothing's eyes have widened at this point and is looking at me with a view akin to horrified. I hang my head.

"Yeah, at the time, all I could think about was getting stronger I didn't realise just how far I was jumping in until it was too late. I realised that I'd fucked up but it was just too late. Colt left rather than face me because I'd just done what I said I wouldn't do. I wouldn't be like the others. But I proved him wrong and broke his heart"

"So, you're trying to either get yourself redeemed or killed by telling me this because right now I'm trying to find a reason not to kill you right this moment.." Soothing growls out.

"I'm done tonight no matter what. I've saved your ass as well as the others of your pack, but I did that because it was the right thing to do. If you want to kill me then fair enough, I couldn't stop you if I wanted to. The only thing I ask is that you wait a bit longer because if you think I'm beyond redemption, then you can at least let me take some of this poor soul's darkness with me to wherever I go when I die." I wave my hand towards the motionless Black Spiral stood in his cell.

Soothing stands up with a growl and starts to pace. I watch him for a moment before I can feel the pangs and gnawing from my beast rolling through me. It doesn't want me to lie down and die. It wants feeding, it wants to survive! I clench my hands and eyes tightly, concentrating as hard as possible, quenching the beast's screams of fury within me. My eyes open to see Soothing stood in front of me, looking at me intently.

"The fuck was that?"

"Nrgh... That would be the beast within demanding to feed and survive"

"Beast?"

"A vampire has what we call a beast within. Nothing as nice as a werewolf's beast. This one just wants food and to survive. It demands to be fed to keep the body working and it fills me with a great fear whenever I'm near flame. If I lose control of it, I will fall upon the nearest source blood and feed until I'm satisfied or if confronted fire or sunlight, I will do everything within my power to get away."

"So, you're basically fighting an internal battle to die?"

"Sort of, I don't particularly 'want' to die tonight, but I'm out of options. So I'm using my time as best possible."

"So what were you intending to do about all this? Did you have some master plan on how to fix the shit you've done?"

I wince a little "I'd planned to find my way to the frame of body and mind where the beast is suppressed, which is referred to as Golconda, the salvation of the soul of a vampire. What I didn't count on is that in order to do that, I have to accept that by doing so, I really am the same as all other vampires.... I apparently have some difficulty doing that."

"So you're a vampire, that wants to save himself by accepting he's a vampire, just so you can say you're not like other vampires?"

"Pretty much..."

Soothing looks at me as if I've lost my mind. He has a valid point. I don't really have a good reason or counter argument. All I have right now is the fact that I just want to make amends for what I did without sacrificing anyone else along the way.

"Sorry Soothing. It'll be over soon though. I can feel dawn isn't far off. I've got a couple of hours. I'm gonna need an hour at least to talk to this guy in order to break through some more of the insanity. Hopefully his response earlier meant he has a derangement I can actually treat with my abilities."

Soothing snarls and stalks off in a huff. I can't blame him. I'd pissed off so many people with just one action, I can't right that wrong, but I can at least do some good before I go.