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From Ice Cream to "Topping" - Arc 2 - Chapter 4

"Well Charlie, looks like we've made it back here again; stuck in college for another round through. Although, it is funny to think about how so many things have changed for me of late, and yet this place has remained the same..." I thought softly to myself that afternoon, but moaned aloud loudly at the same time as I stood there in the hallway of my current lecture hall; patiently waiting for both my first class of the day to begin and the slow turning mechanism of the snack machine in front of me to finish up in its operation.

As I waited there for my chosen goodie to fall, I found myself subconsciously surveying the world around me, thinking about how it seemed now there was something different about the school, though at first the reason eluded me as to why. Then it hit me suddenly, how there were more bodies than I had ever remembered being here than before; although in fairness to the college I actually was keeping my head held up high now and I wasn't just letting it hang in depression.

As I observed outwards towards the sea of people that hobbled about in front of me, I realized that I was really truly seeing the world for what it was for the very first time; with this new sense pride inside my soul driving my thoughts and emotions along the way. And because of that, I could see it all; the individual animal faces and what collectively made them all up, from smiles to frowns to tears... I was finally seeing it all now. It felt almost surreal to me to ingest so much new information, but even as it seemed overarching in its entirety, it truly was a new reality totally re-imagined just for me for the first time in my life; my self understanding now that there has always been more of a world out there than I had ever given a chance.

As minutes it felt passed as I continued to blankly stare out on my classmates, I finally overheard the familiar echo of a vending machine dispensing its product right behind me; which in turn instantly got my attention as my ears perked in the direction. I excitedly reached my paws in to the machine underbelly hurriedly and pulled out the cherry almond raspberry pastry as quick as was possible, wanting desperately then to get something in my stomach as soon as was possible seeing as how Daniel and I had to skip breakfast this morning since we had been running late.

"Damn... wow... now this was worth the wait! Dang... gonna have to remember this brand so I can tell Daniel about it later." I smiled in my thoughts as I took to un-wrapping the confection and instantly biting at the creamy treat that graced my muzzle. The taste of it all felt so reassuring and new to me, yet familiar in a strange way as I continually nibbled away at the danish-like treat; like it was an old flavor of life I forgot existed but harmonized with me still, comforting me in the deepest of manners.

As I licked at my lips so to savor the remaining flavor of my lunch and remove any remaining morsels off my face, I looked around then for a minute or two for a quiet place to sit and rest; seeing as how my class didn't start up for another hour proper anyway.

At first in honesty, my thoughts had simply lingered on just going outside and lying in the nearby grass so to let both the world and time just pass me by as I stare up at the clouds. But as I thought about it more, I knew of a more productive way to pass my time.

After finally making my decision as to what I wanted to do, I simultaneously shoved the rest of delicious pastry treat straight down my maw and scooped up my belongings, mentally plotting along the way what the straightest shot across campus would be to where I would spend my remaining waiting time until my class began.

As I pushed my way outside the building then and past the crowds of gaggling students that congregated in the front for some reason, on the only main stairway I might add that even lead to the lecture hall, an immediate influx of sights and sounds hit me swiftly as the sun bared its heavy weight against me also then. It was an interesting cornucopia of intake I admit as I tried to analyze it all as I trotted along the cement covered path ways; the smell of thick cologne and body odor the first of many to mention.

All in all however, I must say it certainly felt good to be back on the campus and be able to stretch out my paws again. Truthfully said, no matter how amazing it may have been whenever I got to spend time with him (when he was in a good mood of course), being cooped up in my apartment with Daniel for the entire summers span certainly was a hard burden for me to bear.

Now, that isn't all to say that it didn't feel magical to me in its own way, but no matter how much I love the Shepherd for when he is being both my hero and champion, in the end it was admittedly at the time truly a challenge of titanic proportions for me to just go between nothing but work and home. And so for this reason ultimately, among the many more that swirled about in my mind, I had finally decided that now of any was an appropriate enough time for me to indulge in a past passion of mine.

Even if at worst it had only been intended to distract me for but a few minutes, I still couldn't resist when the proverbial deep grin of mine drew itself across my face as I rounded a final corner and found my self standing out in the front of a building that read the words "Aquatic Rec. Center" across it entrance; an all too familiar venue of mine to say the least.

"Now, let's see what this new years freshmen have come packing hehe." I snickered inwardly as my deviant nature overtook me then and pushed my forward, footpaw by footpaw, into the lobby entrance; the instant and easily recognizable smell of pool water hanging in the atmosphere all the while.

At the core of it all, as I approached the front counter to present my student ID card and be issued a complementary towel and locker key, I could assuredly say I had never felt more at home like I did then in what seems like a forever's time span now. After all, this was my place; a palace of peace and leisure, where I can admit I had spent many a minute of mine just watching the men of this campus swim about.

Why had I even the need to come back here you might wonder, all things considered concerning the ice cream sundae I had to call my own at home? Well to you I say; isn't it nice to think once in awhile what a flavor of ice cream other than your standard affair might taste like, even if you know deep down you'll always go with your first choice?

As I made way towards the back changing room for just the men, I found myself strangely drawn instead to thoughts of how weird it was that all the subtle yet familiar nuances of the place, even for as long as I had been away, had remained intact; from the décor and awnings on the walls to the familiar squish of the wet tiled floor felt beneath my feet. I knew every inch of the place so much so I could be a blind man leading a blind man passing through and still avoid the drainage slots where the water ran off existed for just after the guys went and showered away the chemicals from the pool off their bodies.

Yep, it all smelled of nothing but shampoo and hygiene in that room, but I didn't care because here in this element, I had always felt most comfortable and little to nothing could ever change that for me.

Not that any situation had ever arisen that would make me think otherwise anyway...

As I sat myself in front of the familiarly appointed locker I had always seemed to get saddled with, I didn't feel at all disappointed because though it did hide all the wonderfulness of getting to watch others dress out as I slowly pretended to get ready myself, it did however successfully manage to precariously hug up against a corner where very little people ever even stepped a foot towards.

This privacy for me was ultimately a blessing, because even though I loved the rush of seeing another guy strip his clothes away and get down to his bare essentials in front of me, I hated for others to catch me in the same buff.

"Well time to go Charlie. Don't want to miss out on anyone doing a backstroke hehe."

I think it best explained now that my taste in voyeurism was more of a private affair; the age old rule of look but don't touch always a more preferable and safe move for me that lingered in the back swell of my thoughts constantly, especially now for plainly obvious reasons.

"Nope. Won't miss a one." I thought confidently about the guys because today, for the little time I get to spend here, I decided I will savor by means of just tastefully pulling off my shirt now and heading out towards the bleachers out by the pool and just watch the beautiful men as they swim and glide on by; all them as blissfully unaware as the next of my wandering eye.

"... so what's your next move big guy? Pre-med? Pharmacy tech maybe? Sky seems like the limit for your buddy." I heard someone say off in the distance as they slowly approached the locker room itself then as the rim of the neck line from my shirt had just excitedly graced over my ears.

"Well hey now Domino, I can't really say or be sure ya know. It easy for ya to decide since your daddy wants you to join in your family business. But me, I don't know man. I got's my grand mammies shop to tend after all. Maybe I'll just stick with that." I could hear the deeper of the voices growing closer pace by pace as I hid in my corner; though for what reason I was doing as much was a mystery even to me at the time.

For whatever reason however, all I could say was I was interested in hearing their conversation.

"Oh c'mon Derek. That ain't like you at all. I mean really, how long have we known each other? Since Pre-K? I know you better than I know myself, and dude, you're meant for bigger, larger, and better things." I heard Domino speak again as I sat myself down on the bench closest to me now, finding myself thinking about the same things they were discussing now.

It felt weird to me at first that of anywhere I could have imagined these thoughts; why in such a public forum? But perhaps ultimately it was the comfortability of the location that drove me to ask myself the hard questions. What was my purpose in being in college now? What should I do? What do I major in? Oh sure, in reality I have my goals and dreams just like anyone else does and do, but are they enough of a testament to my worth as a wolf? In the end, will I feel as though my accomplishments mattered at all? And lastly what's defines that moment when you can look back on your life and think, "Wow, I did do that didn't I?"

It hurt my head to think of it all, but I am getting old enough to ask myself these things, because if I didn't now, I'd just end up falling behind and look back on my life and wonder "What if?"

"Knock it off bunny man, ya know I hate when ya mention anything about my size. Ain't my dang fault I'm a big ol' freaking polar bear after all!" I heard them laughing now as I heard their locker doors open and close in unison, indicating to me then that perhaps in fact they had finished up their business and were deciding to move along, although I'd wait around silently for a couple more minutes just to be sure they left after the fact.

"You're too uptight bear friend of mine. Get some tail tonight; you'll be aces off for it. I know. Just look at me. Hell, I got me some booty planned a half hour from now buddy." I heard the smarmy rabbit laugh as his voice started to echo further away.

"Yah well Domino is not like cute next door guys come my way every day ya know." I heard the bear motor off too finally as the final slam from his locker brought about the silent familiar echo of the changing room back into my senses.

"Cute next door guy huh? Well he certainly sounded cute..." I thought for a split-second as I resumed stripping off my shirt and thought about the bear and his strong yet gentle tone. "Wait... dammit Charlie stop that. You got a man. Now go stare at other men so by comparison they can fall flat in your eyes compared to him."

Yeah, that's what I told myself anyway as I marched onwards to the pool happily and confidently, eager for an eyeful of anything I could get.

"Now this is what I imagine heaven will be like. Gods, bless you for making Ardordon city at least full of something worth while to look at." I thought and smiled as I watched the first fresh splash of the day come from a male lion diver who had jumped off the high board and held excellent form as he entered the pool below him.

"Damn now that's skill." I said as I slowly but surely made my way over to the general bleachers section I always found myself in whenever I came here; though the positioning of which was a far greater gambit than watching guys just dress out in the locker room. No, the true astonishment behind this section itself came down to how from here where I sat, depending on their height and the looseness of their speedos, a money shot had been known to happen once or twice before. Because I mean let's face it, guys will adjust their junk and if there's nothing but dudes around they don't care who notices.

"Ahhh what bliss..." I spoke again as I watched another muscle bound lothario ascend the stairs to the top most section of the diving boards now, all the while I noticed his underwear creeping up a bit too tightly into his Doe-like posterior.

It felt good to be back here again though, because even though I couldn't say it before, now I could tell myself honestly, "Hey, you are good enough for one of these guys. I mean, Daniel's a ten compared to these fives!" If felt comforting to think about in the least, and to know that I can take these impulses and urges I have and just feed them positively back to Daniel tonight when we got home later today; which I'm sure he'd have no objections over.

However, for all the good news and feelings as I can have sometimes, I've come to learn I should never get to ahead of myself at counting my chickens...

For no sooner had I just started to finally feel the pride and confidence I have in my life growing steadily as I turned my head upwards at first to ideally catch a glimpse of a muscled god gator, but instead caught sight of someone I knew was bad news and that I should quickly escape away from now before it was too late.

"Well, now that makes about as much sense as any." I groaned inwardly then as I immediately fled from my open position on the bleachers and made a sprint for the area behind the lifeguard tower; the fulcrum point of which where a familiar but not welcomed face managed to sneak its way into my existence again.

As I watched his spotted tail swish backwards and forwards then as he looked out dutifully towards the pool, thoughts of an earlier evening months ago came flooding back into my mind as his name managed to slip it's way back into my thoughts, and like the burn from a poison, his name seared onto my brain again; Ty.

"Crap! Damn it! Crap!" Was all I kept thinking as I nervously looked up at him from my position below and behind his person; hoping that perhaps he hadn't noticed me when I had been sitting literally right in his field of vision prior. To the best of my knowledge however, he hadn't even paid me any mind, or at the least seemed not to care. Instead, he never broke focus once as he watched each diver fall into the abyss one after another; each time a splash was made being on instant standby, ready to jump in if someone's head didn't poke itself back up again.

Truth be told on the matter, it was nice seeing some good come from him when nothing but bad memories where all I ever took away from our previous encounters.

"You know, it may be a pool full of chemicals and all that, but don't you think I'd remember your scent?" My heart stopped then as Ty spoke finally, his sentence directed right at me it seemed as I slowly made my play at escaping, though it seemed an impossible path as he dismounted himself from his throne and dropped down to my level.

Now for as much as I hated this snow leopard, damn if I didn't take a second to think about how he was the second most gorgeous animal I had ever had the pleasure to know; although at least this time he was just shirtless and his eyes weren't screaming of rape like in the nightmare I had had of us that one night before.

"Ty..." Was all I said as I watched another lifeguard come over as the snow leopard signaled for them too as he handed over his whistle and started to walk closer to me then.

"Hey. Can we talk? I just got off my shift here and I have a few minutes before I go over to the hospital." He said calmly, which in turn put me in a less aggressive state of mind.

"Yeah I forgot you worked there. But what do you want Ty?" I asked snappily then, hoping quick short bursts of conversation would work like they used to against him.

"And you know what?" I started right away again, not allowing him a word in edge wise. "What a fine time to run into you. You know I gotta be heading to class soon and I don't really have the time for this..." I laid it on heavy and quick, but with Ty I knew from experience it was the best option I had. I mean, I'm sure it's not like he's changed over the summer too somehow miraculously.

"Charlie. Can we just..." I didn't want to hear it as he gestured himself closer to me, myself remembering then in an instant how handsy he could get; even if we were in full public view.

"No, now you stay right there Ty okay. I really just don't want this to be a big scene... especially here of all places." As I spoke, I realized the nail in my coffin that if I had indeed wanted to come back here again if at all, even with Daniel, I'd risk running into him again; and that just didn't sit well with me.

"Dammit this was my favorite place Ty. Now it's ruined all thanks to you." I couldn't stop myself, and to be honest I didn't want to as he just stood there looking in the opposite direction from where I kept hitting him with hard true questions he knew he had to answer for.

"What is it with you? Huh? You stalker... deadbeat... cheating...!" I egged and pushed harder, hoping he'd crack and give up eventually; and ah how good that'd feel.

"Charlie! Stop okay... I get it man. I suck." He said shyly and slowly then as his tail hid itself behind him, wrapping around and in-between his muscled legs.

And there it was though; that emotion called remorse I never thought he of anyone would have. I knew it almost immediately just by looking into his eyes finally, because honestly, I used to see the same man in my mirror not to long ago.

"Alright now look. I just wanted to apologize to you and tell you I was wrong for before, for whatever that is worth to you. I mean, I don't know what drove me to go after you like I did then; guess maybe I just felt something between us that one time in the hospital elevator you know. Well what a fool I was huh?" He said as he went and sat himself down a nearby bench which for some reason I was inclined to follow him.

"It's that umm... well Charlie you're not just cute okay. I mean hell you're a hundred. And that's out of ten right there guy." He shyly admitted as I realized that this was really the first time he had seen me with any exposed part of my body at all. "But really, I liked you because you kept it real with me. It felt nice, not having to lie to someone. But damn what did that fling get me? An ex that won't even return my calls now and me working two jobs to pay off a debt I'll never catch myself up on now?"

"Wow..." was all I could think then as the leopard bared his soul completely out to me, which if I had been a lesser animal I would have ignored; although in my heart I knew I wasn't that person anymore, not after all the growing up I felt I did this past summer. "Ty... why are you telling me all this? I mean honestly, we barely know each other. Yes, sure, we may know what each others cocks look like, but that doesn't make us close. I mean I'm not trying to be mean here or anything but..."

As a consequence then as I watched Ty lift up his head slowly and saw a single tear roll down his cheek, I knew how serious our conversation was about to become...

"Charlie... what if I told you that you were the closet thing to a friend I have ever had? You know someone who, even if you were pretending with me the whole time or didn't even like me, I felt made a difference in my life... because you did. I broke up with my ex because of you, and I keep the reason why with me at all times." He said as lifted up the hat he had been wearing this whole time and brought down an object so familiar to me my back could've spasmed if I had laughed any harder inwardly at the awkwardness of where it had ended up after all my attempts to deliver it to Daniel; my origami rose.

"I saw this immediately after I drove off from your place that last time I had seen you, and yeah I did open it up to read the sweet little message you had written for that Shepherd friend of yours, Daniel was it? And at first, I just wanted to crush the thing you know. Damn love and down with conventional relationships I thought. But as I drove home that night, something hit me. What was I driving home to? Sure, I had a boyfriend waiting for me, but because of you I realized I didn't care about him, or at the least not enough because if I had, I never would have asked you out in the first place." Ty said as he longingly stared at the heart just like I used to myself.

"And so... I went home that night and ended it with him, right then and there. Went to a bar almost immediately afterwards and went pretty heavy on the sauce to be honest, but it was when I woke up in an alley the next day, cold and lonely but with your heart still in my hands, that I realized I held onto the most important part of that night with me so I could know what to do with my life going forward." It almost brought me to tears at how romantic his confession all sounded, had I not had to get over the overwhelming sense of wanting to throw up right then and there.

"So yeah Charlie you go right ahead and hate me. Spit on me. Punch and pinch me, I don't care. Because none of those things will change the fact you had a life affirming effect on me..."

I was left speechless in the end as the muscled leopard breathed in and out heavily in-between his quick bursts of tears. In earnest, I felt bad for him, and aside from Daniel honestly he was the only other person in the world I had even felt regretful towards.

"So there Charlie. That's my crappy life in thirty-two seconds. Hopefully this will change how you feel about me, because I'd like to be your friend. You know, to have someone I can learn from about what love is... and how I can give it out properly myself. To basically show some humanity every once in awhile..." Ty said as he stood up quickly and started to walk off before looking back for a second and finishing with "...I'll see you around okay?"

And as I sat there, listening to the remaining splash of divers and dashers hitting the pool hard now it seemed as more people seemed to flood into the area, I began to laugh; firstly on low, though it slowly started to grow.

"I changed someone's life? Me? Mister zero direction, only think I have my life together because I think my relationship is all I need to define me? Me? Mister neurotic who harbors tendencies still of running away cause I'm still fearful I'm going to mess up the most important thing in my life to me someday, and soon?" I thought as I laughed harder at how pathetic I really am; only further proved by my need to come to dump like this to feel normal...

As I stood up finally to leave, realizing time was up for me as a nearby coach whistled for the synchronized swimmers to begin their practice; I thought more about what Ty had said, and how the thoughts wouldn't leave my mind. "I mean how? How could anyone feel that way about me? Why?"

And as I ran back to the lecture hall to grab the seat in the back of my class like I had originally intended, I ate and swallowed the words knowing they were only going to lead to an ending of a story I didn't want to read about; or rather I didn't want to write for myself.

What will happen next? Let's see what happens...