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The stench of fear was powerful in the back of the van. I could not make out anything, we had been blindfolded and had our paws tied behind our backs as soon as we were bundled in at gunpoint. I knew who we were facing though, or at least I assumed. From his soft whimpers, I knew Bevan did too. For Mark though, this would be a rapid descent into hell that would have come without warning or context. I hoped the fucking bastard was shitting his pants.

"Well, good to see you boys again. Van is looking forward to a little chat."

The voice came from the one I recognised as the bull, the one with the sawnoff shotgun. The gang member next to him chuckled, a really evil sound, and I realised this was the Rottweiler. He moved, his voice coming closer to us as he leaned forward. He was off to the side, nearest to Mark, and the colt whinnied in fear.

"I'm specially happy to see this little pony again Rocky, after our last little playtime. No chance to fight this time colt, though we managed to beat some sense into you even then. Never did think I'd see you again though little one, but I'm glad we have a chance. Your muzzle felt so good once Rocky's fists persuaded you to play nice; my cock has never felt better. Pity you passed out or we would have had more time..."

I felt sick, though I had suspected. It was nothing compared to what Mark seemed to be going through though. The colt suddenly broke down, blubbering like an infant and I smelt a strong smell of urine in the back of the van. Well, couldn't say I blamed him...maybe I had misjudged him.

"Oh God oh please oh God no no no please I don't know who you are please let me go please!!!"

Ok, so maybe it was all self preservation after all. The Rottie suddenly pulled out a torch, the beam lighting up my face, its radiance penetrating even the blindfold. It spent only a brief time there before flicking away. Then there was a long silence.

"Fuck!"

"What is it Dom?"

"We got the wrong fucking pony! Lonnie, for fuck sake turn around and head back!"

"No fucking way Dom. You fucking idiots...sheesh. We can't go back, we don't know if we can get him straight away or not, or even if he's there, and this one already has seen us so we need to deal with him anyway. I'm heading for the meet, and unless you want to ring Van and explain right now, I suggest we keep going and explain when we get there. We have the most important ones anyway; the pony is mostly just payback."

"Fuck! I was looking forward to that payback though....pity..."

The Rottie continued teasing Mark now as I desperately tried to break my bonds. If I could only get one paw free...

"So little pony...is your muzzle soft and warm like Josh's? Bet it is...so good wrapped round my knot tasting a load of Rottie...or maybe your tailhole will feel better. Bet it's like warm butter..."

"Please! I...this is not what I am into, I'm just a private good kid from a quiet family, I'm not like Josh, this isn't my world and you know it. My family will pay...please just let me go! You've got the ones you really want!"

I kicked out at the colt, but I couldn't reach him with Bevan between us, so instead all I could do was snarl at him to shut up. The Rottie just chuckled.

"Smart pony. How bout you Bevan...how smart are you?"

"Dom. Rocky. Please, just listen to me. I have the money, right here on me. Honest. I was coming to pay up, so just take the money back to Van and we are good. Please, this is a bad idea guys..."

"Bad idea? You are the expert on bad ideas Bev. Like talking to cops...that's a very bad idea. We've been watching you all for a while now; amazing to see how many trips to the police station and visits from drug squad cops you've had. I wonder what you've been talking about..."

"Guys, we haven't said anything, honest! Please..."

"Save it for Van Bevan. I think you will find he's run out of patience though."

The rest of the journey passed in silence, Mark's snivelling the only sound to fill the night and it wasn't enough to drown out the pounding of my heart.

Eventually, we reached our destination, the van pulling to a halt before the engine stopped. I heard the side door slid open, and suddenly hands reached out to pull me from the back. It was a disorienting experience trying to walk without sight, and I smacked my paws into plenty of obstacles as I was pushed towards an uncertain fate. I kept stumbling but a big paw held me up; by the smell of it the bull, Rocky, seemed to be my personal attendant.

I sensed I was being led into a building now, the way the air closed in, and suddenly all the noises took on an echoing quality. Some sort of big space, like another abandoned factory. Maybe we were back in McNaughton Rd...if so, there was some chance the Detective was keeping an eye out...maybe we had some hope.

Once I had been pushed down onto a rough seat and tied onto it, my blindfold was removed. I blinked, adjusting to the low light, and my brief hope evaporated in an instant. This was not the same place; a large empty space, like a warehouse, the ceiling far away with rusty I-beams and old shattered windows high in the air. Dust was thick on the floor along with pidgeon poo in layers like the debris on a teenager's bedroom floor. I could hear them cooing overhead.

What a fucking shithole of a place to die.

"I would like to say it is a pleasure to see you again boys, but it isn't."

A lean figure emerged from behind the screen of heavies, all the ones I remembered from last time. The bull, the Rottie, the ram and the Husky. They spread out in a fan in front of us, each looking like they were sizing up their favourite morsel for the evening. Mark seemed to have a few admirers.

The rat looked sad almost, puffing on his cigar casually, tip glowing red in the darkness.

"As you can see, we needed somewhere else to entertain you. After all, it would be a shame if any police interrupted our conversation, yes?"

Bevan was the first to come to life, and I was grateful for his greater surety. At least he knew these guys better than I did.

"Van...I tried to explain to the guys. I have the money; it's in my pocket. And I haven't said anything to the cops, I swear! I know better than to drop you guys in it. You know me, you know I wouldn't"

"Check his pockets Dom."

The grinning Rottweiller sauntered over, sliding a paw into Bevan's pocket, his paw also enjoying a long grope while it was in there judging by Bevan's reaction. His grin just grew wider with each yelp from the fox, and when he pulled out holding the wad of bills, I could see Bev still had a sizable bulge in his pants. Fucking fox would be hard and ready at the apocalypse; always assuming he wasn't one of the horsemen himself.

Dom handed the money to Van, who counted it slowly and deliberately before handing it back to Dom for safekeeping.

"Well, looks like you managed to avoid lying about one thing at least Bevan. I congratulate you."

I heard the sharp intake of breath from Bevan; he was afraid now, I could tell from his voice.

"Van! I swear! On my grandmother's grave! Seriously!"

"Bevan Bevan Bevan...did you imagine for an instant that I could be in this business without having some contacts in the department? I know they are on the move, and there has been some loose talk...they know more than they should let's say. Was it you Bevan? Your parents? Your little wolf friend? Your stupid pony? I don't give a fuck really, I just need to know how much you spilled and what you know. And I don't fucking trust you so don't even start."

The rat had been walking slowly towards Bevan through this little monologue, with the fox watching sort of mesmerised as he came nearer. Finally, Van was right in front of him, reaching out to stroke Bevan's chest through his shirt. Then without warning, he pulled up a sleeve and pressed the end of his cigar against Bevan's bicep, the soft sizzling noise interrupted by a wild shriek from the fox.

"And, I know both your grandmothers are alive Bevan. For the moment at least...that is a little reminder not to lie to me. So, first thing's first, we seem to be one short. I don't know who you are colt, but you are mixed up in it now thanks to your friends. I don't want you though; I want the other pony, the one called Josh. And I want him now."

I turned my head to look at the rat, his eyes sort of bulging and a rictus smile plastered across his muzzle.

Oh fuck...oh fuckity fuckity fuck.

"I don't fucking know how to get him Van...but Nate does. Don't you Nate?"

"I do, but I'm not leading him here. You can fuck yourselves."

"What?"

"The fuck?"

Bevan and Mark were alert now, both staring at me as if I had gone mental. In a way I probably had, but I had made my decision and I was going to stick to it. I owed him; it was payback time. Plus, a plan was slowly forming in my terrorised mind. Maybe.....

The rat just nodded, smiling as he pulled out a shiny Swan Vesta lighter, flicking its lid open and closed rapidly, before leaving it open, the bright flame dancing in the still air of the warehouse.

"Most noble wolf. Dulce et decorum est etcetera etcetera. Well, you will cooperate...eventually."

I tried to wriggle out of my bonds but I had been tied too well, and all I could do was cower backwards as the rat approached.

"No! Wait...you will be sorry! I know someone who will be very displeased with you and you won't want to cross..."

Before he could close on me though, and before I could put my plan into action, Mark nickered and coughed.

"I will get him here. This is nothing to do with me...he will want to save me if he could anyway; I know Josh. Give me a phone and I will get him to come."

"No! Fucking leave it you dipshit...!"

The backhanded slap stopped just short of dislodging teeth, and I sort of recoiled backwards into the chair, rocking from side to side as I regained my senses. I could taste blood in my muzzle, it's sharp metallic taste harsh and unwelcome. Before I could say anything else though, I felt a gag around my muzzle, biting into my cheeks as it was pulled tight. I tried to scream out the name...'Reynard!'....but all that came out was 'wynudh'. Freaking colt had fucked up everything.

"Josh is strong mate, and this is his world not mine. And he would want to save me if he knew, you know I'm right."

"Sensible colt. Let us hope your friend is as sensible. If you warn him off, if you tell him anything I don't permit you to first, you will suffer for it. Now dial."

I could only look on disgusted as the bull freed one of Mark's hands, and the shaking pale colt dialled a number into the phone.

*****

An hour later, I heard a van pull up and stop outside the warehouse. I still hoped against hope, but I knew it was a forlorn hope. I knew my Josh by now. I knew he would never leave us to this fate alone.

He trotted in, looking strangely calm, flanked by the Rottie and the ram. The rat had kept me gagged me lest I shout a warning, while Mark calmly begged him to come and tell the gang that Mark had no part in this. He told him Van would let him go if Josh came, and all they wanted was to know how much the police knew. I think Mark even believed it. Heck, I think Bevan believed it, probably because he wanted to.

I felt I knew better though. I was pretty sure once they had us all, we were fucked.

"We never were introduced last time Joshua...you were noticeably lacking in politeness if I remember. You may call me Van."

Josh came over to us, standing beside me and reaching out to grip my shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. I was still gagged, so all I could do was grunt a warning. He squeezed again; I got the message. He knew too.

"So Van, what do you want. I remember your friends were not so polite either. Your Rottie especially."

"Ahhh yes, Dom does like some pony muzzle. Quite a connoisseur of pony muzzle actually. He has been aching to try out your little friend there ever since he was brought in."

Josh looked over to Mark, his eyes sad. Mark refused to meet his gaze, mumbling into the ground.

"Josh, I love you mate, but this is enough. I always knew you would get me into something like this, I know my friends were right to warn me about guys from the wrong side of the tracks. Now...Van, let me go already. You have Josh."

The gang broke out into laughter then. Long peals of laughter. It grated on me, but I was ready for it. Mark was not; his eyes widened in shock then terror, ears slowly flattening to his skull.

"What...what..."

"They mean, Mark, that there is no way they are letting you go that easy. They conned you my love. None of us are getting out of here that easy. I'm sorry."

Reality was slowly dawning for Mark and Bevan. Both were now begging, and trying to break free of their ropes. Josh just shook his head sadly, and looked at me with pain in his eyes. We locked our gaze for a moment, a long goodbye before I saw a twinkle in Josh's eyes I remembered. Angry Josh. Dominant Josh. The Josh who tied me to my bed and...yeah not the time for that memory, a hardon would be difficult to explain.

I thought I knew the card he was going to play. I just hoped he knew how to play it better than me.

"You are correct Joshua. None of you are getting out of this. A pity really...but you are becoming something of a threat to us...and I don't let threats exist if I can help it."

"If you want to talk about threats, Van, then perhaps there is a name you will recognise.....Reynard."

The silence was deafening.

Holy shit pony....I hope this works

"What...how do you.....how...?"

"I know him...well enough to contact him after the call from Mark. He was...pleased to hear from me. I asked him about you, Van, and your crew. You are known, of course. If you play your cards right, you could be in for a promotion, all the territory you and your bunch of useless flogs could hope for. Otherwise..."

"You are bluffing!"

"Am I? You know the name, I can see, and I can see from your face you know how deep you are in it too...but perhaps you need more proof. Very well. You know about Reynard and his toys..."

Josh stepped forward, his hooves echoing slightly in the empty warehouse, and he stared at Van for a minute, not even bothering to acknowledge the other gang members. Then he casually peeled off his shirt, turning to show his scarred and battered back to the rat.

"You know about Reynard...so you know about his toys. I was his favourite toy. I will be again...that was the price that bought me his help, and your cooperation if you are smart. He is expecting me tonight, soon. If I don't turn up...he knows exactly who to see. As I said, you are known. As is your sister...and your nephew...and your mother..."

"Enough!"

My pony turned to face them again, the gang now suddenly different, fear beginning to seep into their faces. I could see enough to know the rest knew a little, enough to be afraid, but not sure why. Van was more than afraid though. He knew.

"If we let you all go now?"

"You will not be harmed...well, I can't promise for your Rottie. I'd start running if I were you; Reynard doesn't like anyone else to play with his toys like that."

Dom laughed, a sort of exaggerated laugh for show, and turned to share the joke with his boss. His laughter stopped instantly when he realised his boss was not laughing back, instead eyeing him like a plague carrier in a medieval city.

Bring out your dead....

"How can we know that?"

"I will stay with you, we can call Reynard together. Yes...I know how to contact him. Any time..."

The threat was pungent, and I could see the rat almost smelling it, his greying whiskers twitching as he sought a way out. My heart surged with a sudden adrenaline boost, realising there might be a way out of this after all. I was also terrified for Josh...whatever this meant, it was not good.

I could hear Bevan let out a long sigh of relief when we saw Van nod, gesturing to the other gang members to release us. They hesitated, especially the Rottweiller, his eyes starting to cloud over with fear mixed with anger and amazement. He seemed to be going through the stages of grief all at once in turns; whether he was grieving for a lost chance at pony muzzle or his own pathetic hide I didn't know.

"I need to speak to them for a moment...get our stories straight. Give us a sec will you?"

"Of course...mate. There is a phone in here when you are ready."

I cringed, hearing the almost deferential tone in the rat's voice, as he drew his gang off into an old office by one wall. Josh was playing with fire, and I was pretty sure he was going to get burnt.

He released us all quietly, and we stood for a moment, easing aching wrists and ankles before turning to him.

"Josh...I..."

"Mark, please go away. I love you, I'll always love you, but I can't be with you. You are right; I am bad for you, you need someone else. A closeted jock hunk from St Sebastians or Melville Grammar with a brand new beemer for his 18thbirthday and a flat near uni belonging to his brother. You can fuck him there when your parents aren't looking while you date girls from Sacred Heart as cover and pretend to be a good little colt. Go find him, and stop fucking with my heart. Please..."

He gave the colt a single kiss, and Mark ran off towards the door, before turning and looking sheepish.

"Um..."

"Warehouse near Webber dock. Use googlemaps..."

He smiled and turned to go as Josh sighed.

"I hope he finds a guy who can look after him or he is going to be so fucked..."

"Is that why you loved him Josh? You need to be the protector? So...as long as he's a freaking basket case, you will wrap him in those stallion arms and keep the world away for a time?"

"Why Nate, jealous?"

"Yes"

I said it before I could stop myself. His eyes widened, and we looked at each other for a long time, realisation dawning in the pony at last.

"I'm..."

"Ahem! Sorry to break this up, but I'm off too. Josh...it's been real. If you ever want to fuck a basket case fox, just come knocking. Nate... c'mon."

"Just a mo Bev..."

He gave us an appraising look, and then a final look of respect at Josh before he too turned and left, his foxy tail swaying in the night.

"Well...just us then Nate."

"Right, so let's go home."

"Nate, I meant it. I am going in there with them, and I'm seeing Reynard tonight."

Then I had the sensation of concrete dropping into my toes.

"I thought that was all just..."

"No. The name got me part way there, and might have been enough to save you. But, some time when I sat under that noose in your garage, a part of me changed Nate. I'm still here, and I'm stronger, but I'm not frightened anymore. I have things to do though; things that are part of why I'm still here. I have to try, for me, and I'm not afraid of what might happen."

"Josh, enough is enough. I...you've already done enough for me already...why didn't you tell me about the Rottie Goddamn you?"

He looked sad now, eyes bright with near tears as he brushed my muzzle. I was close to tears too, realising I might be losing him before I even got him.

"I told you Nate...I already knew what it was like. You didn't...if I saved you from it, that was enough. There is nothing left in me to damage, I'm all scar tissue already. That is why I am strong."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Behold I am become death...shatterer of worlds."

"The fuck?"

"It's from the Bhagavad Gita. Go read; you might like it."

"I still don't understand."

"Reynard trusts me; when he trusts no one on Earth. He breaks all his toys; so he believes he can control them at will. He thinks he has broken me, that he knows me, hence he trusts me. I am going to prove to him that he has misjudged me.I will become Death.."

"Shatterer of worlds...?"

"His World. I will join him as he wanted. I will let him do what he wants with my body, and be a good and faithful assistant. And all the while, I will be working for the moment when I will bring him down and destroy him, and every single one of the people who have hurt and damaged me and my Mum. And he will know it was me that did it to him. And when they are all gone I will be able to get my Mum out of there away from the people who fucker her up, and she will finally be proud of me and love me like a normal Mum does. Finally...I'll have someone who actually gives a shit."

I stood, shellshocked and terrified, while Josh shook with emotion, the tears finally falling to the dust. It could not work, it would not work, and from what I had heard of his Mum he was operating in dreamland, but he appeared determined to try. And he was going to fail. I was deeply in love with a walking broken corpse.

Then he pulled me into his arms, his muzzle on mine as he opened his lips and kissed me, hard and wet, and I opened my lips too and suddenly we were kissing like lovers, tongues fencing as we moaned. Before I could totally believe it was real though, he broke the kiss, and pushed me away, his expression dark.

"Now go away Nate, and tell your parents I love them. I might see you again very soon but I can't promise. I left something for you in your room...something to let you know I'm thinking of you."

As I watched he trotted steadily towards the office, his top still lying on the floor. I picked it up, holing it out to him but he wasn't looking. I put it to my muzzle, smelling his scent, before it became too much and I dropped it to the floor and ran for the door.

I wandered for a bit, heading towards the city and away from the docks, passing trucks and freight vans and curious passers-by until a cop car pulled up beside me and turned on its lights.

"Are you Nathaniel Taylor?"

I just nodded and fell into the back seat.

*****

My Mum wouldn't stop hugging me, and Dad would have too but for Mum hogging all the hugging room. Eventually they stopped though, and Mum stopped blubbering long enough to talk.

"We were so worried...when we couldn't find you, we were worried sick, and then the Detective called to say there had been reports of suspicious vans in the street, and a tip that there might have been a kidnapping. Joshua left to try and find you before the Detective arrived; I've tried to get onto him to tell him you are safe but his phone is off. I just hope he is all right."

"Ahhh..."

"What darling....what is wrong?"

"Yes Nathan...what happened? We need to know everything. I've heard Bevan has been sighted returning home, and Josh's friend Mark is home too. They are with my colleagues now; so anything you are going to tell me, now is the time to do it."

I looked at my uncle.

"Why are you here?"

"I was with Rob...I mean Detective Wallace when he received the reports. We both came straight here."

"Sounds cosy to me unc."

The wolf smiled, as did the horse.

"It is Nathan. Welcome to one of the realities of life; the cops, and the lawyers, and the criminals all drink at the same bars and go to the same restaurants, often together. We all have things in common; often more than we would like."

"So you and officer Krupke were having a beer..."

"Pinot Noir."

"Enough small talk. Nathan...what happened to you? And what about Josh?"

I felt the fear running through me again, the fear I had when Josh went all apocalyptic. I had to face it though, if I was going to help him.

"He sends his love"

"What?"

Then I told them what had happened while my parents looked on in horror, the detective looked shocked, and my uncle remained deadpan through supreme effort or the effects of Pinot Noir.

Finally the horse was able to speak.

"Well, at least you have finally let it all out Nathaniel . You probably should have let your lawyer know first though, I assume you are one of the sorts of clients that give them nightmares. Now I have enough to use on you if I need to, though this is way beyond a simple drug bust. Kidnapping moves it up a notch for starters, but Reynard is a whole extra level."

"What do you mean? Who is this Reynard?"

"Reynard is...well actually no one knows. He is a figure, but not one that we know much concrete about. He runs all the drug traffic in the city. All of it. I don't know if you appreciate it but that is almost unprecedented for a major city."

"Anyone who tries to set up in competition, is killed immediately and usually painfully, as a warning. Even the bikie gangs won't have a bar of it now, they have moved into prostitution and money laundering. For all that, no one knows who he actually is; his identity is probably the one thing on the top of the departments wish list. No operation we have run has gotten close to him without being compromised and the operatives killed."

"So this is the guy who uses Josh as his toy?"

"From what you have said, it seems so. I don't know how Josh survived, or if he will survive again now. Reynard is supposed to be an exceptional sadist. If he truly knows Reynard as he claims, and he is going in to try and undermine him, he is already as good as dead. The best we can hope for is to use him to get to Reynard before he is killed."

"Hang on Detective! You will not be putting Joshua in danger just to land this drug boss. He is a minor, and under our care. Why aren't you saving him rather than trying to use him?"

"I'm just being pragmatic Mr Taylor. The number of people killed at Reynard's orders in any given year would make your head spin. This is the best lead we have had, if it is genuine. I've seen a lot of Josh's in my time, and too many have ended up dead because of drugs or worse, and I want to stop that too. Or would you rather I use your son to try and get into this gang who seem to have him in their sights?"

"Rob, back off now. I know we have a professional and a personal relationship, but neither is going to stop me from tearing you apart if you don't back it down....."

"Stop it all of you! Enough of the macho bullshit. Where is Josh now? Can anyone tell me that? Why aren't we trying to find that out? What sort of people are you all?"

Mum had finally lost it and started hitting the Detective, and the shouting and screaming reached fever pitch while my uncle and Dad pulled her away from the horse. Eventually, they all calmed down and looked at me. I had kind of enjoyed not being in the spotlight there, almost as much as watching my Mum try to snot a policeman. That one was going into the memory banks for future use.

"He said he was going to see Reynard, tonight. And he was going to get his Mum out. She is a druggie, and somehow got mixed up with this lot before selling Josh's tailhole for drugs to her boyfriend. Then her boyfriend passed him on to Reynard."

"So if we find his Mum, we might find at least find her boyfriend, who knows Reynard. That's a start. Maybe we can turn her, get her into witness protection..."

"Fucking hell! How about prosecuting her for selling her teenage son's body? Ever thought of that?"

"Nathan, I know what you are saying, and you are right, but we have to work with what we have. And Josh is a strong guy, clearly he has survived so far and is resourceful, so he might stand a chance if we get to him in time. I know it is bad, and it is, but you would be surprised what I've seen in my time in the force. I'm not surprised easily any more."

"You are supposed to be protecting us, that's what is says on your badge right? Instead, you are just after the kill, the collar and the fame. That's all you give a shit about, not Josh. You are no better than Bruno."

There was a silence then, and it was a shock when both my uncle and the Detective spoke at once.

"Who is this Bruno?"

Both looked at me, hard and surprised. My fur tingled.

"Bruno Ligetti...he is a friend of Josh's. If by friend you mean someone who thinks he is doing him a favour and rescuing him while fucking him. In this case literally."

I had a vision of Josh, bent over and tied down to the frame in Bruno's room, but this time it was with the detective watching calmly from the sidelines, taking notes and nodding.

"Bruno Ligetti? Ohhhh shit...well that tears it then. This is legit."

"Bruno? Oh no....."

I looked at them both, and I wasn't alone. My parents were all ears too, realising that my uncle knew who I was talking about too. It was Dad who got it out first.

"I'd appreciate if someone would explain before I need to get a subpoena..."

Sebastian just shook his head as the Detective gave him a significant glance.

"Bruno...he was the city's leading criminal barrister. Totally brilliant; destined for a judgeship. Then one day he just stopped, out of nowhere. There were rumours that there was cocaine involved, but nothing happened legally, he just stopped. But he continued to live the high life, though more as a recluse. The rumours though...well we always assumed it was organised crime. He was my classmate at uni...he got the Supreme Court Prize, I came second. We were a team...and we haven't spoken for thirteen years."

"I can add the bit we know, for what it is worth. It is as your uncle says, but Bruno has not been idle. He is very busy, acting for a lot of corporations based in Lichtenstein and the Canton de Vaud in Switzerland. Interpol is on the case, but he is keeping his tracks well hidden. But one thing seems to be emerging; despite the fact we can't prove it, we believe Bruno Ligetti is Reynard's lawyer. Your friend's good friend, is the counsel for the biggest sadistic killer in our criminal history."

"He seemed....lost. And sad. So I guess that figures."

"You have met him? Why the hell didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't know who the fuck he was for starters. And he creeped me out."

"What about Josh's Mum. Have you met her too?"

I shook my head, getting a little angry now under the barrage.

"No, I fucking haven't. And if I did, I wouldn't piss on her if she was on fire. What kind of Mum does that? All I know is what Mark told me, which is what Josh told him."

"Go on..."

"Her name is Sharon...so I guess Sharon Marcus. Josh never knew his Dad, they were split before Josh was born. Something about his Mum getting pregnant and their parents splitting them up; Josh's dad was moved away while Sharon had the baby. All he knew was that his Dad was a Kiwi, and maybe went into the military. His mum gave Josh a necklace that supposedly came from his Dad."

"Sharon....Marcus? Are you sure?"

The horse sounded far away now, his voice uncharacteristically subdued. My fellow wolves all noticed though, looking at him as he sagged against the kitchen bench.

"Of course I'm not sure...but it's what I was told."

"Describe the necklace."

"I dunno, something in greenstone, a twist, like they have in New Zealand. My mate Moo said something about Mana and what it meant, but I can't fucking remember. What the fuck does it matter anyway?"

I was angry now, mainly because the horse was harping on about the necklace, and it reminded me of how much I had hurt Josh with it, before I really knew him or knew what it meant. Before...I knew how much he meant to me.

Then I remembered his words, when we parted in the warehouse. Something told me what he had done.

"Look, I think he may have left it for me, before he went tonight. If it matters so much, come and see it for yourself."

I headed up the stairs, with the adults trailing behind.

My Mum started apologising when she saw my room, the usual detritus sprawled all over, and I flushed a bit seeing my favourite dildo was on my desk, kind of sitting there begging to be noticed. I walked over to put it quietly in a cupboard as I noticed my uncle noticing, his grin and stifled laugh drawing a look from my mum. I turned to the Detective, but was relieved to see that he hadn't noticed, instead staring at my bed. It was only then that I turned and saw what was on it, at the same time my parents noticed.

There in the middle of my bed was Hoofie, my twin's friend, his mane carefully groomed and laid down his back, his tail curled into a little ring. And Josh's necklace, hung around his neck, the greenstone sitting against his brown belly and gleaming in the light. The touches brought everything home to me then, seeing in my mind's eye Josh, patting my Hoofie and taking the necklace off his own neck to put on him before he headed out into the night to save my ass. I wanted to touch the toy, to feel where he had felt. Before I could, though, Mum realised.

"Nathaniel! Why...why have you got Riley's toy? I thought..?"

And then it all snapped inside me like a dam bursting.

"Yes Mum, I saved him because I needed him. Don't you understand? I needed a part of Riley to hold on to, and Hoofie was my link. I needed to feel him there with me, can't you see that? I was Riley's best friend, if you wanted to send him off with someone to stop him being alone it should have been me...it should have been me Mum...I wish so much it had been me...and then Josh would be safe too ..."

My Mum and Dad held me, and none of us could speak, just holding on while the world went to hell again. Now I had managed to lose another, and it hurt just as bad. The cop just stared at Hoofie, his eyes inscrutable. Finally, he reached out to pick up the toy, his fingers reluctantly touching the pendant and turning it over, before recoiling as if it hurt.

"Yes...it's still there."

"What Rob?" said my uncle, his voice husky.

"The spot where my Dad repaired the back, just on the second twist there...a crack developed, one day I dropped it on the carpark getting ready for a rugby game at school. Dad repaired it for me, and made it like new but I could always feel the little bump. It reminded me of him so I liked it even more..."

We all stared now, my uncle gaping, Mum and Dad struggling to understand.

"What are you talking about?"

"This was my necklace, given to me by my dad when I turned thirteen, after he bought it for me on a trip back to Auckland. I gave it to my girlfriend, Sharon, before I went away to boarding school when my parents suddenly moved and packed me off into another state. The last time I saw her...about seventeen years ago."

The realisation dawned, as I saw his face. I had seen parents lose a child, the loss written in words of fire on their faces. The scars were still there, like now.

This time I saw something almost worse. A parent find a child, and lose them in the same heartbeat.

"I have a son...a beautiful colt..."

My uncle was the only one of us able to move then, walking to the Detective's side to hold him. All the horse could do was stare at Hoofie though, while Sebastian held him, as if the toy might answer the questions he desperately needed to know the answer to right now.

"My son..."